


squad up

by astralscrivener



Series: modern au: squad up universe [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), Gratuitous Theatre References, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Keith and Lance are everyone's relationship goals, Keith and Shiro are cousins, Memes, Multi, Pining, References to Drugs, Sick Character, Texting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, everyone is LGBTQ+, s4 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-01-05 23:26:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 140
Words: 327,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralscrivener/pseuds/astralscrivener
Summary: lanceylance:okay so obviously i’m romeocarrierpidgeon:romeo was a playerkogayne:yep so he’s romeo and i’m juliet, who’s parisIn which the team is in high school, and Lance makes a group chat (ft. college graduates Shiro, Matt, and Allura).(A generic bandwagon chatfic becausewhy are these so fun to write????)





	1. FIRST DAY SQUAD

**Author's Note:**

> This has absolutely nothing to do with my other chatfic shhhhh I'm just hopping on the bandwagon.
> 
> So this really all started because I got bored on the first day of school, so about once a week I find myself writing chatfic in the middle of class?? Also this may just turn into a ventfic, we'll see!!
> 
> CHARACTER STUFF:  
> Lance - 17 - HS senior  
> Keith - 17 - HS Senior  
> Hunk - 17 - HS Senior  
> Shay - 17 - HS Senior  
> Pidge - 15 - HS Sophomore  
> Shiro - 25 - College Graduate  
> Matt - 25 - College Graduate  
> Allura - 24 - College Graduate
> 
> Okay have fun these will probably be short chapters and this won't have a set update schedule, but there probably won't be more than a week between chapters!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of school is here. Lance makes a group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER.**  
>  I already wrote this in the series notes, but some people don't read those, so let me put it here: this fanfic contains established Shallura, past Shatt, and **[SPOILERS] ~~eventual Shiro/Allura/Matt~~.** I wrote this before I knew, concretely, that Allura was being written as a teen in the show, AND before I knew that Shiro was a gay man. Not bi, not pan, G A Y . At the time of this update (November 5th, 2018), the bulk of this series is done, save for an ongoing snippet series featuring **Keith and Lance, and occasionally Hunk and Shay**. Any future works in this series may contain Shiro, Allura, and Matt as _characters_ , but I am avoiding any explicit mention of their relationship(s).  
> I no longer ship Shallura, and I am on the fence about Shatt (Matt's age is...foggy, but the age gap between Allura and Shiro, not to mention the fact that **SHIRO'S GAY** , makes myself and many members of the VLD fandom uncomfortable). At the moment, my only true Shiro ship is **Adashi** , and all future works of mine will likely feature this ship. I will no longer write any material containing Shallura, Shatt, or Shiro/Allura/Matt.  
>  **Please do not ask for any more content featuring Shallura, Shatt, or any combination of those relationships. I will not write it.**  
>  ** _TL;DR: SHALLIES DON'T FUCKING INTERACT._**
> 
> alright carry on happy reading

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne, hunkerdunker, carrierpidgeon, shayfromstatefarm, allurable, takashmeoutside,_ ** _ and  _ **_mattata_ ** _ to  _ **_FIRST DAY SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning how is everyone on this fine first day of senior year

**kogayne:** shiro, allura, and matt graduated like five thousand years ago why are they here

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m a sophomore why am i here

**lanceylance:** it wouldn’t be a group chat without the WHOLE SQUAD HERE

**lanceylance:** so how’s everyone’s morning is everyone EXCITED

**kogayne:** shut up mom

**lanceylance:** babe no i’m not your mom we talked about this

**hunkerdunker:** the heck do you mean you talked about this

**kogayne:** should i send the screenshots of him demanding to know whether or not i was prepped for school last night

**carrierpidgeon:** d o  i t

**takashmeoutside:** i’m out of college and you kids woke me up for THIS

**takashmeoutside:** also keith what do you mean you’ve talked about that

**allurable:** GOOD MORNING MY CHILDREN HOW IS EVERYONE DOES ANYONE NEED ME TO RUN THEM SOME COFFEE AFTER THEIR ALL-NIGHTER

**lanceylance:** BEAT YOU TO IT I’M AT DUNKIN RIGHT NOW

**kogayne:** the line is so long and it’s all seniors and teachers

**kogayne:** i think my psych teacher is staring

**kogayne:** LANCE STOP FUCKING WAVING

_ (1) video from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** break up with him

**carrierpidgeon:** i knew your relationship was bad news

**lanceylance:** shut up keith u know u love me :P

**kogayne:** shiro make him stooooop

**takashmeoutside:** yeah anyway i’m going back to bed

**kogayne:** BETRAYED BY MY OWN BLOOD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters will all probably go up within a few hours of each other bc I already have them written


	2. FRIDAY SQUAD ft. Grumpy Senior Keith Kogane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is grumpy and stressed out.  
> It's the second week of school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write out my frustrations through Keith Kogane and Lance McClain (aka I was very stressed this particular Friday, so instead of working on a project for psych, I used the chromebook to write fanfic)

**_FIRST DAY SQUAD_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_FIRST DAY SQUAD_ ** _ to  _ **_FRIDAY SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning everyone how are you all on this glorious friday

**kogayne:** shut up i have a physics quiz and i’m stressed about calc’s quiz yesterday and i really need to see my grade on psych we were LIED TO he said grades would be up yesterday and they were NOT

**takashmeoutside:** keith be nice to your boyfriend

**lanceylance:** do you need coffee, stabby mcstabberson

**kogayne:** light and sweet pls i want the maple pecan

**lanceylance:** of course i got you i’ll be at school in 15

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m sorry what did i just witness

**allurable:** true love

**mattata:** an unstable unhealthy relationship

**kogayne:** we’re not unstable or unhealthy!!

**lanceylance:** keith is just a grumpy stressed-out senior who didn’t sleep well last night and needs caffeine to live

**lanceylance:** and i am the responsible boyfriend doing his duty to help him out

**hunkerdunker:** are you sure keith isn’t just taking advantage of you

**kogayne:** i’m NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIM

**lanceylance:** he just needs extra support right now

**hunkerdunker:** …

**shayfromstatefarm:** leave them be

**kogayne:** DO YOU ALL REALLY THINK I’M TAKING ADVANTAGE OF LANCE

**allurable:** i don’t!!

**takashmeoutside:** i just said to be nice

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t look at me i was just genuinely confused it’s too early for this

**shayfromstatefarm:** no i don’t

**mattata:** weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell

**kogayne:** MATT YOU’VE KNOWN ME FOR HOW LONG????

**hunkerdunker:** listen keith, i’m sorry

**hunkerdunker:** i just know that lance has had some...issues with people in the past

**hunkerdunker:** and you guys didn’t exactly get along when you first met

**kogayne:** I DON’T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW

**_kogayne_ ** _ left  _ **_FRIDAY SQUAD_ **

**hunkerdunker:** crap.

**carrierpidgeon:** should we add him back orrrrr

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** give him space

**lanceylance:** and i appreciate the concern but i’ve learned from the past, i know when i’m being used

**lanceylance:** keith cares

**lanceylance:** and i care about him

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i just got here, where are you

**kogayne:** bathroom, last stall

**lanceylance:** oh no

**lanceylance:** do you need space?

**kogayne:** ...yeah

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** when u need ur Sleep Replacer, lmk

**lanceylance:** try not to miss first period?

**kogayne:** i’ll try.

**kogayne:** and

**kogayne:** um

**kogayne:** i’m sorry

**kogayne:** for being rude to you in the group chat

**kogayne:** i really do appreciate you, yknow

**lanceylance:** hey no listen don’t worry that’s what i’m here for

**kogayne:** i just feel like an asshole

**lanceylance:** shhhh no it’s okay

**lanceylance:** i know you and i know you didn’t mean it

**lanceylance:** and i’m talking to the others

**lanceylance:** i love you, pls understand that

**lanceylance:** and i’m never gonna stop loving u

**lanceylance:** ...bIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH

**kogayne:** omfg

**lanceylance:** >;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


	3. Don't Piss Off Your Demon Teacher's Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith accidentally pisses off the son of a teacher who hated him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the day I was writing this, I was sitting in creative writing and some girl was talking about how this other girl tried to provoke her into getting into a fight and I couldn't help but think "Keith????" and WHOOPS HERE THIS HAPPENED

**_FRIDAY SQUAD_ **

**kogayne:** SOMEONE HELP

**takashmeoutside:** what? what happened?

**allurable:** keith, are you alright?

**kogayne:** I SCREWED UP

**kogayne:** I MAJORLY SCREWED UP AND I NEED HELP

**kogayne:** I’M IN THE UPPER C WING BUT I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY

**takashmeoutside:** okay but what did you /do/?????

**kogayne:** I PROVOKED SOME OF THE OTHER SENIORS AND I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE THEM BUT I CANNOT THERE’S LIKE 5 AND THEY’RE ALL BIGGER THAN ME

**lanceylance:** i’m coming

**kogayne:** LANCE THEY’LL KICK YOUR BUTT

**lanceylance:** i’m coming anyway

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m coming with a camera

**hunkerdunker:** get a teacher?? what’s wrong with all of you??

**kogayne:** I’LL GET SUSPENDED ONE OF THEM IS A TEACHER’S KID AND THIS TEACHER’S HAD IT OUT FOR ME SINCE I WAS IN THEIR CLASS SOPHOMORE YEAR

**lanceylance:** YOU PISSED OFF PAUL MORVOK

**kogayne:** I PISSED OFF PAUL MORVOK

**lanceylance:** oh my god you’re gonna die i’m cOMING I’M ON THE STAIRS

**shayfromstatefarm:** i just opened the group chat and i’m having regrets

**kogayne:** LANCE YOU WILL LITERALLY DIE

**kogayne:** HUNK PLS STOP MY BOYFRIEND BEFORE HE DIES

**mattata:** ah, young love

**takashmeoutside:** corral your sister please, before she gets in trouble for videotaping a fight instead of getting an administrator

**mattata:** katie

**carrierpidgeon:** matthew

**mattata:** send that video to me as soon as you have it

**takashmeoutside:** matthew samuel holt.

**mattata:** [overly-exasperated sigh] katie, do not video tape keith and lance getting their butts handed to them by morvok’s demon child.

**allurable:** hunk, please tell me you went and got an administrator

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry the video was uploading as you guys were yelling

**shayfromstatefarm:** i went and got mr. ulaz, he’s on his way

**hunkerdunker:** so’s principal zarkon

**takashmeoutside:** KATIE HOLT. DELETE THIS VIDEO IMMEDIATELY. YOU CAN GET IN TROUBLE FOR HAVING IT.

**allurable:** i can’t believe lance and keith were both still standing by the end of it

**carrierpidgeon:** lance went down like, two seconds later

**mattata:** yikes that punch looked like it hurt

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s nOTHING compared to what’s going on now

**carrierpidgeon:** keith went full-on rabid husband mode

**carrierpidgeon:** or like, enraged love interest in an action movie mode

**takashmeoutside:** katie, put your phone away before they bust you for having it.

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**allurable:** LANCE OH MY GOD

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT THE HELL

**mattata:** oh my god, katie please put your phone away

**carrierpidgeon:** ulaz and zarkon finally showed up

**carrierpidgeon:** they brought morvok

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s yelling at keith and lance like this is their fault

**carrierpidgeon:** ulaz is trying to get lance to the nurse’s office. hunk and shay are offering to take him.

**allurable:** what /happened/ to lance??

**carrierpidgeon:** i think he took a punch to the nose, but it might’ve been a kick to the face. and a kick to the ribs. or several.

**takashmeoutside:** i’m gonna get a call from the school soon, aren’t i?

**carrierpidgeon:** yes, probably about keith’s behavior

**carrierpidgeon:** morvok just tossed out “expulsion” but ulaz isn’t having it

**allurable:** lance’s parents are both out of state for the week, aren’t they?

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah, lance was on his own this week

**hunkerdunker:** hi, yes, he’s staying with me this week

**hunkerdunker:** we’re in the nurse’s office, and we’re calling my mom now

**hunkerdunker:** zarkon’s on his way with keith, who also apparently needs some attention

**takashmeoutside:** i should probably get ready to come get keith, huh

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**allurable:** so, morvok is still the terrible teacher he was when we were there

**mattata:** and zarkon is still a douche

**takashmeoutside:** katie this is ILLEGAL, DELETE THESE

**carrierpidgeon:** they don’t suspect a thing, relax

**carrierpidgeon:** i have a natural charm

**carrierpidgeon:** all of my teachers love me, i just had to say i was on my way to the computer lab to print something and accidentally got caught in the crowd

**shayfromstatefarm:** can confirm ^^^

**hunkerdunker:** hi, so lance is going to the doctor to get checked out, keith is going home for the day

**takashmeoutside:** i’m expecting a call

**hunkerdunker:** my mom is on her way, i’m being forced back to class, so i won’t have any updates for you, so if anyone else could keep us posted

**takashmeoutside:** i just got the call, i’m going to pick up keith now

**mattata:** i suppose i should be a responsible older sibling and ask if katie is alright

**mattata:** are you breathing, gremlin

**carrierpidgeon:** no, precalc killed me, i’m texting from beyond the grave

**shayfromstatefarm:** you can’t make death jokes about math, it’s only first period

**carrierpidgeon:** my patience for this class, much like this limit, does not exist

**hunkerdunker:** that’s calculus, not precalc

**carrierpidgeon:** my teacher is going ahead in the book

**hunkerdunker:** yikes

**allurable:** shay, pidge, hunk, you’re in class.

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry mom

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** I TOLD YOU NOT TO STEP IN

**lanceylance:** you were gonna die

**kogayne:** YOU ALMOST DIED

**lanceylance:** not gonna leave my bf all by himself

**kogayne:** you are the wORST

**lanceylance:** worth it

**kogayne:** why are you such a selfless asshole

**lanceylance:** idk man

**lanceylance:** i love youuuuu~

**kogayne:** insufferable

**lanceylance:** <3

**kogayne:** [sigh] <3

**lanceylance:** ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna post a chapter or two more after this and then wait a while before another upload :P


	4. You Can't Leave Class To Kiss Your Boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some kids are talking shit. Keith decides to make a statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE INSPIRATION OR POINT FOR THIS CHAPTER WAS  
> let me just say this fanfic is gonna be FULL OF KLANCE FLUFF at least for a while right now because I'm writing Stars Go Down and HOLY SHIT I MISS MY BOYS BEING CUTE  
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> HERE YOU GO

**_FRIDAY SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** what happened today

**carrierpidgeon:** did you actually just scream?? i think i heard that from upstairs

**hunkerdunker:** it’s not hard, you’re in the class above us

**shayfromstatefarm:** but yes, that was him

**lanceylance:** REMEMBER THOSE KIDS WHO BEAT ME UP LAST WEEK

**takashmeoutside:** /lance/

**carrierpidgeon:** you’ve summoned the Dad Friend

**mattata:** and his husband 

**mattata:** what are you heathens getting into now

**allurable:** husband??? in front of my salad???

**mattata:** i had his heart first, princess

**takashmeoutside:** CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON WITH PAUL MORVOK? KEITH’S NOT ANSWERING HIS TEXTS.

**carrierpidgeon:** texting outside the group chat??? why u whispering fam??

**carrierpidgeon:** and /matt/, lay off shiro, get over the breakup, that was five years ago

**mattata:** SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND HE’S TO BLAME

**kogayne:** sorry i was in math paying ATTENTION FOR ONCE

**kogayne:** lance what’s going on do i need to come beat some kids up for you

**hunkerdunker:** um, no,

**lanceylance:** THEY’RE TALKING TRASH

**kogayne:** about you or me

**shayfromstatefarm:** you

**shayfromstatefarm:** about how your noodle boyfriend had to intervene bc you couldn’t protect yourself or something like that

**lanceylance:** i’m normally not a violent person

**lanceylance:** bUT I WANT TO FIGHT

**allurable:** keith has been a terrible influence on you

**takashmeoutside:** lance, don’t get into things again

**hunkerdunker:** you literally had to leave school to go get checked out last time

**lanceylance:** i’m doing my best but hunk you may need to hold me back

**lanceylance:** OMFG KEITH IS THAT YOU AT THE DOOR

**takashmeoutside:** ISN’T HE SUPPOSED TO BE IN A DIFFERENT CLASS RIGHT NOW

**hunkerdunker:** ugh grossest boyfriends ever

**mattata:** oooooh, what’d he do

**hunkerdunker:** so we’re in mr. thace’s class, right

**takashmeoutside:** isn’t keith like, his favorite

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s almost everyone’s favorite but anyway

**hunkerdunker:** he knocks on the door and shay lets him in, right

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s like “heyyyy mr. thace” and thace is like “oh hey keith” like not even bothering to put down candy crush or make it subtle that he was playing it

**takashmeoutside:** he couldn’t even pretend, in case it was an administrator?

**shayfromstatefarm:** no. anyway,

**hunkerdunker:** keith strolls on into the room and comes up to lance and just grABS HIS SHIRT AND KISSES HIM FULL ON THE MOUTH

**takashmeoutside:** [long-suffering sigh] this boy is my legacy

**hunkerdunker:** and he gives paul and his cronies this look like, “OH, HEYYY, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU GUYS WERE IN THIS CLASS TOO.” 

**shayfromstatefarm:** i think paul’s soul left his body

**carrierpidgeon:** so, he hasn’t forgotten the complete and utter rage that keith unleashed last week

**shayfromstatefarm:** no one has tbh

**takashmeoutside:** keith, you can’t leave class to kiss your boyfriend

**hunkerdunker:** um, actually, when keith left, thace, um…

**shayfromstatefarm:** he goes “yep that’s shirogane’s cousin alright” 

**carrierpidgeon:** HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

**_takashmeoutside_ ** _ left  _ **_FRIDAY SQUAD_ ** _. _

**_mattata_ ** _ added  _ **_takashmeoutside_ ** _ to  _ **_FRIDAY SQUAD_ ** _. _

**mattata:** THOSE BOYS ARE OUR LEGACY

**takashmeoutside:** SO WHAT HAPPENED, NO DETENTION, NO GET BACK TO CLASS??

**hunkerdunker:** nope

**shayfromstatefarm:** “how nice. see you fourth period, keith!”

**kogayne:** what can i say, i love my boyfriend and everyone needs to know

**lanceylance:** PAUL WON’T LOOK AT ME LMAOOO

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t believe you two

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe /thace/

**mattata:** ahh, english teachers

**allurable:** i still can’t believe you couldn’t let me eat my salad in peace

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** :)  <3

**kogayne:** <3

**allurable:** why did we let them get together

**takashmeoutside:** worst decision ever

**carrierpidgeon:** *best 

**carrierpidgeon:** **under certain circumstances 

**carrierpidgeon:** ***like right now

**takashmeoutside:** cAN ALL OF YOU GET BACK TO DOING YOUR SCHOOLWORK YOU’RE IN CLASS

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry dad

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**lanceylance:** ^^^^^

**kogayne:** FIGHT THE POWER

**mattata:** he’s definitely your cousin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA there's another chapter I can post that I wrote while I was having a mental breakdown but I'm waiting for a good place to squeeze it on in  
> (continuity? what continuity?)  
> GOOD NIGHT IT'S 2:05 AM I NEED TO BE UP IN LESS THAN 4 HOURS AND I DID NO HOMEWORK


	5. Look What You've Done, Now They've Got Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can everyone just,,,, leave Keith and Lance's relationship alone, before Keith murders you all??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was gonna post this during study hall but I was on my phone and it didn't copy the bolding over and I wasn't about to sit there and do html for twenty minutes so I'M HOME HERE'S THE CHAPTER THAT I WROTE IN CLASS TODAY (ashdjdkaslal this is a bad habit it needs to stop)  
> THIS CHAPTER WAS INSPIRED BY MY LAST YEAR'S AP LANG/THIS YEAR'S YEARBOOK TEACHER COMPLAINING ABOUT STUDENTS WHO CAN'T WRITE FOR SHIT

**_FRIDAY SQUAD_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_FRIDAY SQUAD_ ** _ to  _ **_I HATE ENGLISH_ ** _. _

**lanceylance:** okay so i don’t wanna sound like an awful person

**lanceylance:** BUT HOW ARE YOU FAILING ENGLISH WHEN IT’S YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE

**lanceylance:** I’VE BEEN MANAGING A STEADY A FOR THE YEAR BUT THERE ARE SOME KIDS HERE WHO CAN’T WRITE A FUCIGKN SENTENCE

**lanceylance:** like yes i understand learning disabilities exist and i’m not talking about those people

**lanceylance:** i’m talking about the neurotypical IDIOTS WHO DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR AND YOU’RE

**lanceylance:** ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE

**lanceylance:** ENGLISH IS MY /SIBLINGS’/ SECOND LANGUAGE AND THEY CAN WRITE A BETTER THESIS STATEMENT

**takashmeoutside:** why are you texting in class

**takashmeoutside:** also can i have context please, because i feel this but like

**takashmeoutside:** what happened

**hunkerdunker:** thace’s class. one guess.

**mattata:** paul morvok

**takashmeoutside:** paul morvok

**allurable:** paul morvok

**carrierpidgeon:** demon child

**kogayne:** asshole

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep

**hunkerdunker:** i’m with lance on this one, these guys are /awful/

**kogayne:** can’t spell, can’t throw a decent punch, can’t be a good person, i’m sensing a theme here

**mattata:** can’t throw a decent punch??? um?????

**kogayne:** shut up

**kogayne:** do i need to come by again, lance

**kogayne:** we can make it a routine

**kogayne:** thace won’t care and math is a breeze tbh

**lanceylance:** as much as i want to say yes, i can’t be the reason you miss class

**kogayne:** umm i told ms. ryner i was going to the bathroom i can just use that excuse???

**takashmeoutside:** keith.

**carrierpidgeon:** somebody’s clingyyyyy

**lanceylance:** leave him alone!!! i love clingy keith!!

**lanceylance:** but also dude pls do not prioritize me over your education, we have our whole lives ahead of us

 

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added  _ **_takashmeoutside_ ** _ ,  _ **_mattata_ ** _ ,  _ **_allurable_ ** _ , _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ , and  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ to  _ **_realistic expectations of life_ **

**takashmeoutside:** didn’t you call me out yesterday for texting keith outside of the group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** okay yes but listen

**carrierpidgeon:** as much as i love keith and lance and prefer them being grossly in love over them trying to rip out each others’ throats

**carrierpidgeon:** do they know that most high school relationships don’t work out

**hunkerdunker:** excuse shay and me

**shayfromstatefarm:** what he said

**mattata:** okay but listen to me, kiddo

**carrierpidgeon:** oh no, you pulled out kiddo [groan]

**mattata:** friendships in high school don’t always work out either, but look at this friend group

**mattata:** you’ve got me and shiro, and we’ve been married since we were kids

**allurable:** AGAIN WITH THIS

**mattata:** OKAY SO YOU HAVE ME AND SHIRO WHO WERE MARRIED FOR A LONG TIME BUT GOT DIVORCED AND NOW I’M FRIENDLY WITH HIS WIFE

**allurable:** he fails to remember i was just a grade behind them in school we were ALL FRIENDS, MATT

**mattata:** anyway shiro’s wife aside

**allurable:** i’m coming to your house just to fight you, square up holt

**mattata:** then you have you and keith, and you guys have been friends for years!!

**mattata:** and what about that power trio from the astronomy club!!! once you met hunk and lance you guys haven’t left each others’ sides!! 

**mattata:** not even that one time all of you stopped talking to each other for a week!!

**takashmeoutside:** that was rough

**takashmeoutside:** i remember keith being very angry on pidge’s behalf

**mattata:** is THAT where the rivalry started?

**takashmeoutside:** well i mean they were always rivals but that intensified it

**mattata:** okay well ANYWAY they got over it and now look at them

**mattata:** a power couple that the school is lowkey terrified of

**shayfromstatefarm:** you don’t even go here

**mattata:** but you do!!!!! look at shay, guys!! she got into the friend group in her, hunk, lance, and keith’s freshmen year, and now she and hunk are the purest couple in the school!!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** PUREST?

**hunkerdunker:** what he and rax don’t know won’t hurt them hush pidge

**allurable:** i’m sorry what

**shayfromstatefarm:** nothing

**shayfromstatefarm:** matt continue

**mattata:** point is, i think as far as relationships go, lance and keith actually have a chance at like, lasting

**mattata:** yknow, cheesy high school sweethearts who show up to the reunion in 20 years like LOOK AT US NOW, LOOK HOW SUCCESSFUL AND IN LOVE WE ARE

**carrierpidgeon:** i guess

**takashmeoutside:** and i mean, even if they break up, we’re all still gonna be friends

**takashmeoutside:** right??

**takashmeoutside:** can someone say something

**takashmeoutside:** do not tell me you’re mentally choosing sides for a conflict that hasn’t even happened yet

**allurable:** of course not!! just processing

**allurable:** you kinda got a little too deep for us there and a little too hopeful

 

**_I HATE ENGLISH_ **

**lanceylance:** y’all done whispering or

**kogayne:** what???

**lanceylance:** they made a group chat without us, they’re probably talking about us

**carrierpidgeon:** no??

**lanceylance:** okay so then who are hunk and shay so intently texting then

**lanceylance:** because i know it’s not each other!!!

**kogayne:** guys…

**takashmeoutside:** we’re just worried is all

**kogayne:** NOT THIS AGAIN COME ON

**kogayne:** 1\. lance and i are in a healthy relationship

**kogayne:** 2\. we COMMUNICATE, unlike SOME PEOPLE

**kogayne:** 3\. if he felt taken advantage of he would TELL ME

**lanceylance:** 4\. i don’t plan on breaking up with him any time soon

**lanceylance:** OR AT ALL, FOR THAT MATTER, YOU FAITHLESS HEATHENS

**mattata:** who spilled

**hunkerdunker:** I FELT GUILTY OKAY, YOU HAVE NOT DEALT WITH LANCE’S PUPPY DOG EYES

**allurable:** he pulled them out??? oh shoooot those are hard to resist

**kogayne:** you guys have 0 faith in our relationship

**kogayne:** what happened to rejoicing the fact that we’re not fighting

_ (4) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re just worried about you two

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s not that we don’t have faith in you, but realistically these things don’t often work out

**shayfromstatefarm:** we want you guys to be happy and grow old together just as much as you do

**shayfromstatefarm:** but we also need to keep a healthy amount of realism

**lanceylance:** keith let’s get surgery

**kogayne:** what ????

**lanceylance:** surgically sew us together that way neither of us can leave

**hunkerdunker:** and there’s a mental image i didn’t need

**kogayne:** lance we don’t need surgery i don’t wanna break up

**lanceylance:** oh thank god

**hunkerdunker:** see guys, look what you made them do, now they’ve got anxiety

**lanceylance:** i’ve always had anxiety???

**kogayne:** ditto??

**lanceylance:** don’t meme at me, hunk, that’s my job

**lanceylance:** also theoretically if keith and i ever were to fight we’re not getting you all involved

**lanceylance:** we’re gonna handle it maturely

**kogayne:** mario kart tournament?

**lanceylance:** MARIO KART TOURNAMENT

**lanceylance:** it’s like you know the way to my heart

**carrierpidgeon:** okay look i’m sorry i started this, i’m just nervous about it

**lanceylance:** shhh it’s okay leave the nerves to me

**kogayne:** no leave them to me

**lanceylance:** no you don’t deserve nerves

**kogayne:** neither do you

**lanceylance:** LISTEN HERE FUCKO

**carrierpidgeon:** [headdesk]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao i had a psych test today and to supplement our test we got assigned a really easy project that i've been procrastinating on  
> the original due date was wednesday aka tomorrow but then he moved it to friday but then TODAY HE'S LIKE "yeah i'll accept it on monday!!" and he basically gave us the answer to the written portion of our psych test (which is tomorrow) honestly i fuckign love psychology ajksdkdwkd i'm gonna go work on Stars Go Down and HINT FOR ANYONE READING IT  
> IT'S A LANCE CHAPTERRRR  
> OKAY BYE


	6. The Klance Sorry Party Committee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has a wild dream, prompting the concern of the rest of the squad. He's a bit defensive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to wait to post this like a good person but i have no impulse control   
> i literally have not touched SGD since my last update, except for like...two sentences  
> anyhoo here you go

**_I HATE ENGLISH_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_I HATE ENGLISH_ ** _ to  _ **_TEAM VOLTRON_ ** _. _

**lanceylance:** you guys will NOT believe the dream i just had it was WILD

**hunkerdunker:** is this gonna be like the last wild dream you told me about

**hunkerdunker:** because if it is

**hunkerdunker:** i don’t want nor do i need to know

**lanceylance:** NO IT’S NOT

**kogayne:** wait what was your last wild dream about why didn’t you tell me

**lanceylance:** UM NOT IMPORTANT

**takashmeoutside:** your silence is answer enough

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE THAT’S NASTY

**kogayne:** WHAT WAS IT

**allurable:** YOU DON’T WANNA KNOW

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** LISTEN I WILL DM YOU LATER IT IS NOT FOR CHILDREN TO HEAR

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m 15 asshat

**carrierpidgeon:** i hear things no human should hear just from the back of my civics class

**lanceylance:** KEITH I PROMISE I WILL DM AND PIDGE I WAS TALKING ABOUT MATT

**mattata:** RUDE

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY NOO SHHHHH LISTEN IT WAS ABOUT SPACE AND IT WAS COOL BUT LOWKEY TERRIFYING AND BY LOWKEY I MEAN HIGHKEY BUT I WAS HIDING IT

**lanceylance:** all of you were there right okay so like

**lanceylance:** it was about 100 years into the future

**lanceylance:** you know how i’m applying to the garrison school of arus u

**lanceylance:** well in my dream i was at this place called the galaxy garrison and i was a fighter pilot

**lanceylance:** hunk was my engineer and pidge was our tech wiz/communications guy

**lanceylance:** pidge was actually pretending to be a boy like there was this whole plot where shiro and matt both used to go to the galaxy garrison and they went on a mission to kerberos

**lanceylance:** yknow pluto’s moon

**lanceylance:** they went with pidge’s dad and they got abducted by these aliens called the galra but the garrison is covering it up and pidge tried to expose them and got banned so she had to be a boy to get in but GET THIS

**lanceylance:** the galra had a whole empire and PRINCIPAL ZARKON WAS THE EMPEROR

**kogayne:** not to interrupt but where am i

**lanceylance:** ohoho i’m getting there mullet

**lanceylance:** so this whole thing starts with me wanting to go into town to meet girls and i’m dragging along hunk and we go to get pidge but she takes off for the roof

**lanceylance:** and she’s like “ALIENS ARE COMING THEY WANT THIS THING CALLED VOLTRON” and so while we’re on the roof this ship crash lands

**kogayne:** wait why did you want to meet girls are we not together

**lanceylance:** I’M GETTING THERE MULLET

**lanceylance:** <3

**lanceylance:** okay so this ship crashes right???? and so me hunk and pidge are scoping the sitch out while the garrison comes in and sets up their shit and we’re spying right and pidge grabs a computer feed and IT’S SHIRO IN THE SHIP

**lanceylance:** HE HAS LIKE THIS COOL ROBOT ARM AND A SCAR ON HIS FACE AND MENTAL TRAUMA 

**takashmeoutside:** i’m getting mental trauma just from reading this chat tbh

**kogayne:** WHERE AM I

**lanceylance:** QUIT INTERRUPTING AND YOU’LL FIND OUT SHHHH YOU’RE GONNA RUIN THE SUSPENSE

**lanceylance:** OKAY SO WE’RE SCOPING THE PLACE OUT RIGHT AND SOMEONE COMES UP ON THIS WICKED SPEEDER HOVERBIKE THING AND IT’S FUCKING KEITH

**lanceylance:** APPARENTLY WE’RE RIVALS BUT I RECOGNIZE HIM BY HIS  M U L L E T

**kogayne:** omfg

**lanceylance:** YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF THE GARRISON FOR HAVING AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM BUT YOU WERE THE BEST FIGHTER PILOT

**lanceylance:** I WAS A CARGO PILOT BUT THE ONLY REASON I GOT IN WAS BECAUSE YOU WASHED OUT

**lanceylance:** no so okay anyway i’m like “fuck keith!!! shiro is my hero I’M SAVING HIM!!!” so i take off after keith and hunk and pidge have to follow and we get there and keith knocked out three big guys in one shot it was awesome

**lanceylance:** so we rescue shiro right and keith drives us all off a cliff on his speeder after we tell him to stop but he doesn’t and we go to keith’s shack, out in the desert, where he lives alone with a conspiracy theory corkboard

**carrierpidgeon:** holy shit

**lanceylance:** he’s telling us about this strange energy so we go and track it down and find a giant blue robot lion with this energy shield around it

**lanceylance:** it drops for /me/ and we all get inside the lion’s head and it accidentally blasts us off into space (us being me keith hunk pidge and shiro) and we end up at this castle on a planet called

**lanceylance:** wait for it

**lanceylance:** ARUS

**lanceylance:** and LO AND BEHOLD THERE’S A PRINCESS AND HER ADVISOR WHO WERE CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN FOR 10,000 YEARS

**lanceylance:** IT’S ALLURA AND CORAN

**kogayne:** CORAN??

**takashmeoutside:** your gym teacher??

**allurable:** my godfather???

**shayfromstatefarm:** where am i???????

**lanceylance:** hold on i’m getting there okay so like we get told we’re gonna be the defenders of the universe right

**lanceylance:** there are 5 robot lions, red blue green yellow and black and we’ve gotta go find them, so we do

**lanceylance:** i’m blue, keith is red, pidge is green, hunk is yellow, shiro is black (shiro’s also our leader) (allura assigned the lions based on personality like red is instinct and very hard to tame, black is the leader, green is inquisitive, and yellow is the big support, i never found out what blue was tho) and we’re called paladins and our robot lions combine to form one big giant robot called voltron

**lanceylance:** like red and green are the arms and blue and yellow are the legs and black is the head and torso

**lanceylance:** and we go on all these cool adventures and i almost die a lot and we meet shay and rax at some point

**lanceylance:** they’re these rock people called balmerans and we free them from slavery from the galra empire and hunk totally has a thing for shay but won’t admit it

**hunkerdunker:** i mean it took me like a whole year to work up the courage in reality sooo

**lanceylance:** and our adventures are crazy like one time keith saved me from getting sucked out of the airlock and we go around freeing planets and like WHOA THIS ONE TIME WE WERE HAVING A PARTY ON ARUS AND SOME GALRA GUYS BROKE INTO THE CASTLE AND SET OFF A BOMB AND I SAVED CORAN but then pidge saved everyone else

**lanceylance:** like hunk and coran had to go find this rock that powered the castle (WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A SHIP) and keith and allura got locked out of the castle and shiro and i were prisoners and pidge was a total badass

**lanceylance:** also i was out of it a good 90 percent of the time so keith says we had a bonding moment where he cradled me in his arms but i swear it didn’t happen

**kogayne:** :(

**lanceylance:** i love u

**lanceylance:** nO BUT THE WILDEST PART WAS WHEN WE DEFEATED ZARKON SHIRO JUST RANDOMLY DISAPPEARED SO WE HAD TO SWITCH LIONS bc the lions only work when certain people fly them 

**lanceylance:** shiro made keith his successor so ofc keith had to fly the black lion even tho he didn’t want to and tbh he wasn’t a great leader at first but he got there and became a badass OH AND KEITH WAS PART GALRA LIKE HOLY SHIT THERE IS SO MUCH YOU COULD MAKE A TV SHOW OUT OF THIS

**lanceylance:** and then i ended up flying the red lion and allura had to fly blue (blue wouldn’t let me in i think she was jealous i tried to fly black OH DID I MENTION THE LIONS WERE LIKE SEMISENTIENT YEAH THEY ARE) and idk pidge and hunk were just kinda there

**kogayne:** this is a lot to process how long did you fucking sleep

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ way too long probably

**lanceylance:** OH OH OH AND SO SINCE WE KNOCKED ZARKON INTO A COMA WHEN SHIRO DISAPPEARED HIS FUCKNG SON TOOK OVER HE LOOKED LIKE A PURPLE LEGOLAS WANNABE

**allurable:** that’s not far from reality tbh

**lanceylance:** and like he had this kickass girl squad like one of them was like part lizard and she was blind with a seeing eye cat and had mind control powers she was SCARY and since i ended up the team sniper i was so worried she was gonna like...corner me while i was on top of a building and away from all of you

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...what the heck

**kogayne:** lance are you like...okay

**lanceylance:** yeah???

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** are you sure??

**lanceylance:** yes?????????

**kogayne:** why do i feel like you’re not being honest

**kogayne:** lance i know dreams can fuck you up and i’m genuinely concerned right now

**kogayne:** you almost died a lot and you never found out why you piloted blue??? and you were talking about mind control??? lance please talk to me

**lanceylance:** keith i’m /fine/ it was just one of those weird nap dreams

**kogayne:** ...are you sure

**lanceylance:** YES KEITH i don’t need you to BABY ME I’M FINE

**kogayne:** alright alright sorry i just get worried

**kogayne:** but please if you’re not come talk to me

 

 ** _kogayne_** _added_ ** _hunkerdunker_** _,_ ** _carrierpidgeon_** _,_ ** _takashmeoutside_** _,_ ** _allurable_** _,_ ** _mattata_** _,_ _and_ ** _shayfromstatefarm_** _to_ ** _Lance Protection Program_**

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i don’t believe him what do i do

**kogayne:** and matt, not one remark

**kogayne:** NOT ONE

**kogayne:** I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE SHIRO’S BEST FRIEND I’LL STILL KICK YOUR ASS

**takashmeoutside:** you can’t force him to talk about something he doesn’t want to.

**allurable:** although yes, i definitely agree, something is up with him

**kogayne:** what signs did i miss???? have i not been there enough????? what if he was too busy taking care of me for me to nOTICE SOMETHING WAS WRONG

**hunkerdunker:** so telling someone to “relax” when they’re panicking doesn’t work so keith i need you to at least breathe

**kogayne:** HE’S TYPING

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh dear

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** shitshitshit i’m sorry i didn’t mean to blow up fuck im srry

**lanceylance:** fUCK keith im SORYR 

**kogayne:** no please don’t apologize i shouldn’t be pushing you

**lanceylance:** no shhhhhh i shouldn’t have blown up on you shut up and let me be sorry

**kogayne:** no can do you have nothing to be sorry for

**lanceylance:** i was MEAN TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE TRYING TO CHECK UP ON ME LET ME BE SORRY

**kogayne:** SHUT UP I WAS PUSHING YOU WHEN OBVIOUSLY YOU DIDN’T WANNA TALK

**lanceylance:** TOO LATE I’M SORRY FUCKER

**kogayne:** STOP APOLOGIZING ASSHOLE

**lanceylance:** YOU CAN’;T JUST TELLN AN ANXIOSU PEORNS TO SOTP APOLOGIZNG

**kogayne:** ARE YOU SHAKING

**lanceylance:** MAYEB WHEATS IT SO TO OYU

**kogayne:** I’M COMING OVER

**lanceylance:** NOT IFI IMAKET ITO YOU RHOUSE FIRST

**kogayne:** YOU ARE NOT LEAVING YOUR HOUSE IN YOUR CURRENT STATE

**lanceylance:** TRY AND STOP ME

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** YOU DICK

 

**_realistic expectations of life_ **

**allurable:** so um i was driving but i had to pull over bc

_ (1) photo from  _ **_allurable_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so that’s why keith went silent

**mattata:** why are they sitting in the middle of the sidewalk

**carrierpidgeon:** matt i know being a memelord usually entails an unusually high level of assholishness compared to your average person but please shut the fuck up

**mattata:** no i’m genuinely concerned like is one of them hurt they’re holding each other pretty tightly

**takashmeoutside:** last i heard from keith he was gonna go to lance’s house

**takashmeoutside:** and then he ran out the door screaming “THAT DICK” so i’m assuming lance decided to come over here

**takashmeoutside:** i guess they met halfway

**shayfromstatefarm:** i say we leave them alone and pretend keith never made that group chat

**shayfromstatefarm:** let them work themselves out

**shayfromstatefarm:** and how about we stop talking about them in the main gc

**allurable:** ^^^^ it makes them both uncomfortable

**hunkerdunker:** we’ve gotta make it up to them somehow

**hunkerdunker:** i feel really bad about the last couple weeks

**carrierpidgeon:** i agree, i feel like we shouldn’t act like nothing happened bc that’ll just be sus

**takashmeoutside:** keith doesn’t like big deals about things tho

**allurable:** it doesn’t have to be huge

**allurable:** what were you thinking, hunk

**hunkerdunker:** homemade meal

**hunkerdunker:** with like, some kind of token of our friendship

**_mattata_ ** _ renamed  _ **_realistic expectations for life_ ** _ to  _ **_klance sorry party committee_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** but it’s not a party

**mattata:** just go with it

**allurable:** so do we need supplies??? i’ve got room in my car for four other people to go party shopping with me

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S NOT A PARTY??

**hunkerdunker:** it’ll just be like...a squad hangout session

**shayfromstatefarm:** a friendly gathering

**takashmeoutside:** a casual meeting of acquaintances

**mattata:** but decidedly /not/ a party

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll go with you allura

**hunkerdunker:** i need baking supplies and i think i’m the best authority we’ve got on lance

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll pitch in for keith

**shayfromstatefarm:** so whose house is this shindig going down at and when

**carrierpidgeon:** today’s what, friday?? tomorrow, i’d say

**takashmeoutside:** we can do it at my house

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll just send keith on questionable errands for the afternoon to distract him

**hunkerdunker:** unless lance beats you to it

**mattata:** okay so pidge shay and i will start getting the house prepped while you guys are out shopping tomorrow /morning/

**mattata:** tonight we need to draw up a plan

**carrierpidgeon:** [cracks knuckles] i’ve got excel, docs, and slides open, what’ve we got

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah in the fanfic it said it was friday but it's actually currently 10:13 PM on a wednesday night but what can ya do


	7. Keith The Dented Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're so in love it's disgusting. Also, the others can't lie for shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love soft Klance????? Writing Stars Go Down is slowly killing me?????? DON'T GET ME WRONG I FUCKIN LOVE WRITING THAT TRILOGY BUT IT'S PAINFUL TO SEE LANCE AND KEITH GOING THROUGH WHAT THEY ARE  
> coming to this fanfic is a breath of fresh air into my klance-starved lungs  
> also lmao i took a physics test today and i'm not exaggerating when i say i think the entire class failed like you had kids who normally are fuckin physics wizards working to the end of class and not understanding  
> my teacher is gonna ream us but on the bright side tonight is a grey's night so she'll be too busy watching that to grade our papers right away ANYWAY I'M RAMBLING HERE'S THE CHAPTER

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** it’s getting late

**takashmeoutside:** are you coming home

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** i’m okay though, i’m just gonna be with lance tonight

**takashmeoutside:** do you mind me asking how he is?

**kogayne:** are you gonna share it with your other group chat

**takashmeoutside:** no. i promise.

**kogayne:** ...he’s worrying me a little

**kogayne:** i think he’s got some issues he’s not telling me about

**kogayne:** and his dream on top of those issues is sending him into a depressive state

**kogayne:** we’ve been watching shitty action movies for most of the evening

**kogayne:** i think it’s lifting his spirits a little, but his parents are gone for the weekend again and i don’t wanna leave him alone

**kogayne:** i’m hoping he opens up but i’m not gonna force him

**kogayne:** i just

**kogayne:** he feels SO BAD that he blew up on me and????? why????????

**kogayne:** why is he such a selfless asshole shiro

**takashmeoutside:** he cares about you just as much as you care about him

**kogayne:** FUCK SHIRO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH WHY THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN

**kogayne:** BEING RIVALS WAS SO MUCH EASIER

**takashmeoutside:** do you really believe that

**kogayne:** I SHOULD’VE KILLED HIM

**takashmeoutside:** you can’t kill your problems, keith

**kogayne:** H O W  DID I END UP WITH HIM HE’S TOO GOOD FOR ME

**kogayne:** BUT WHAT IF HE REALIZES THAT WHAT IF HE WANTS TO BREAK UP

**takashmeoutside:** keith. he just said the OTHER DAY that he didn’t.

**kogayne:** shiro i will literally die if we break up

**takashmeoutside:** i think you both need some sleep.

**kogayne:** i can’t sleep when this guy on the screen is yelling “SO THE HUNTER HAS BECOME THE HUNTED” because lance yells it too and he’s,,, he’s so cute

**takashmeoutside:** /holy shit you are so whipped/

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** unrelated question, do you know what you’ll be up to tomorrow during the day?

**kogayne:** lance and i were gonna just chill out

**takashmeoutside:** can you hang out and run errands at the same time??? something came up at work so i’m gonna be too busy to get stuff done tomorrow

**kogayne:** i mean if lance feels up to it but we should be good

**kogayne:** but if i wake up tomorrow and he tells me he doesn’t wanna leave our blanket fort i’m not leaving

**takashmeoutside:** i understand

**takashmeoutside:** if it comes down to it i’ll just send matt, he’s probably not gonna be busy

**takashmeoutside:** but considering it’s stuff like grocery shopping, and you’re the one living under my roof, i’d rather you do it

**kogayne:** like i said, i’ll try

**kogayne:** i’m gonna go cuddle with lance now, i’ll text you when i wake up

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** and don’t worry about your relationship

**takashmeoutside:** i think he knows how much you care about him

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t think he’s gonna let you go

 

**_klance sorry party committee_ **

**allurable:** RISE AND SHINE TEAM

**allurable:** STATUS UPDATES PLEASE

**allurable:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE EVERYONE’S TO-DO LISTS RIGHT HERE

_ (6) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**allurable:** MATT

**mattata:** THIS IS PIDGE TEXTING FROM HIS PHONE, WE’RE ON OUR WAY TO THE BROGANE RESIDENCE

**allurable:** YOU COULD’VE JUST TEXTED FROM YOUR OWN PHONE

**mattata:** WHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT -PIDGE

**allurable:** SHOOT YOU’RE RIGHT

**allurable:** SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** On my way!

**allurable:** GOTTA LOVE AUTOCORRECT

**allurable:** HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** WAITING ON YOU

**allurable:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** THE BOYS AREN’T AWAKE YET, I’M WAITING TO HEAR FROM KEITH, BUT EITHER WAY HE’S OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THE DAY

**allurable:** EXCELLENT, I’M COMING TO PICK YOU UP, AND THEN WE’LL GO GET HUNK

**allurable:** LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**mattata:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** ...wooo….

**allurable:** YOU ABSOLUTE KILLJOY

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re so cousins

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i’m awake

**kogayne:** lance sleeps like a fucking kitten

**kogayne:** f u c k  i love him so much

**takashmeoutside:** so you don’t know whether or not you’re running those errands yet

**takashmeoutside:** ...keith???

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll wait

**kogayne:** sorry he woke up and i was talking to him about the errands

**kogayne:** he says he’s up to it

_ (2) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** holy fuck how many errands do you NEED

**takashmeoutside:** like i said i have a lot going on just do it pls

**kogayne:** ...well at least lance’s snapchat is about to be lit

 

**_klance sorry party committee_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** we’re good for the day

**carrierpidgeon:** keith says “lit”? 

**hunkerdunker:** who is he and where’s the real keith

**mattata:** the Lance Effect

**allurable:** NO TIME TO TALK ABOUT THIS LET’S GO PARTY PEOPLE

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** WTF WHERE DID YOU GO

**lanceylance:** i saw paul morvok i’m gonna stalk him

**kogayne:** lance this is a target not school

**kogayne:** he won’t think twice about snapping you in half this time

**lanceylance:** shhh he won’t see me coming i stole a sword from the halloween section

**kogayne:** you are NOT PICKING A FIGHT LANCE THAT’S MY JOB

**lanceylance:** you wanna come help me then

**kogayne:** listen as much as i want to say yes this is my favorite target we can’t get banned

**lanceylance:** but what about the one on riverside

**kogayne:** no i hate that one

**lanceylance:** [siiiiigh] FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE i won’t pick a fight with paul

**lanceylance:** SHIT SHIT SHIT HE SAW ME KEITH HELP

**kogayne:** WHERE ARE YOU

**lanceylance:** FREEZERS

**kogayne:** DAMMIT LANCE SHIRO NEEDS HIS RICE KRISPIES

**lanceylance:** COME HELP ME BEFORE THEY STICK ME IN A FREEZER

**kogayne:** I’M ON MY WAY

 

**_TEAM VOLTRON_ **

**kogayne:** i have a black eye guess why

**mattata:** chicken thigh

**kogayne:** stfu holt

**kogayne:** lance and i got into an altercation in target

**carrierpidgeon:** ooooh he used “altercation” he’s pissed

**allurable:** lance why did you punch your boyfriend

**hunkerdunker:** clearly none of you watched lance’s snap story

**allurable:** OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**takashmeoutside:** oh for a minute there i thought lance actually punched keith

**kogayne:** that’s called an abusive relationship and guess what we don’t have

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANE

**kogayne:** don’t try and be cute with me you’re the reason for this

**lanceylance:** babe your head is literally in my lap right now

**takashmeoutside:** DID YOU FINISH THOSE ERRANDS

**kogayne:** no we’re taking a quick break

**kogayne:** and just because we’re snuggling on a public bench doesn’t mean i’m not angry

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is so soft

**mattata:** okay but i wanna know why paul gave keith a black eye today

**kogayne:** lance tried to stalk him and his cronies with a sword from the halloween section and they found him

**lanceylance:** listen i told keith about it and he said not to do it so i gave in but then when i was about to leave they found me so i had to call for my knight in dented armor

**kogayne:** dented???

**lanceylance:** listen knight in shining armor is nice and all but isn’t it a little sus??? if your knight shows up in shining armor that doesn’t prove that they’ve been through hardship

**shayfromstatefarm:** it could mean they cleaned themselves up after a battle to look presentable to someone they want to court

**lanceylance:** okay fair point but i love my knight in dented armor

**kogayne:** are you trying to imply i don’t clean up well

**lanceylance:** no i’m saying you put up with a buncha shit to come rescue me  <3

**carrierpidgeon:** GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

**lanceylance:** i’m a bisexual put on ur fuckin bifocals pidgey

**allurable:** i think that pun just murdered me

**lanceylance:** was it a /pan/ in the ass

**kogayne:** [rolls eyes into oblivion]

**lanceylance:** THAT SOFT SMILE YOU’RE GIVING THE SCREEN SAYS OTHERWISE DENTED KNIGHT

_ (1) video from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** STOP EXPOSING ME

**lanceylance:** ur so cute u know that ur just the cutest and i love u so much

**kogayne:** SO WHAT’S EVERYONE ELSE UP TO TODAY I HAVEN’T SEEN ANY OF YOU

**lanceylance:** how dare

**allurable:** oh you know

**allurable:** netflix

**carrierpidgeon:** working on a project for robotics this coding is killing me

**hunkerdunker:** makin food for the next football game

**mattata:** stalking shiro at work

**takashmeoutside:** attempting to throw matt out

**shayfromstatefarm:** studying is hell on earth

**kogayne:** hmm sounds like fun

**kogayne:** lance and i will be out for a little while longer

**kogayne:** despite the fact that he’s insufferable

**kogayne:** and is the reason for my black eye

**lanceylance:** and i’ll be taking care of keith because i love him so much and if he doesn’t stop smiling at the screen like an idiot i’m gonna have to send more photos of him being adorable

**carrierpidgeon:** IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

**lanceylance:** this group chat is slowly beating that meme to death ANYWAY GTG

 

**_klance sorry party committee_ **

**hunkerdunker:** do you think they’re onto us

**takashmeoutside:** no i think we were convincing enough

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** none of your clubs sell at the football games

**lanceylance:** what are you /really/ up to

 

**_klance sorry party committee_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** yeah so they might be onto us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tomorrow's a half day at school and my calc teacher comes back after going MIA for a week without warning and i've done very little work for her class bc she barely teaches as it is and idk wtf is going on anymore tomorrow is not going to be a good day in terms of calculus sos


	8. There's A Party The Readers Don't See Because The Author Is Lazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a party. This chapter alludes to it but never shows it, because why would you text the people you're at a party with wtf??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short mostly bc I had no inspiration and I have other chapters backlogged :P

**_klance sorry party committee_ **

**allurable:** it’s almost time for the festivities where are the guests of honor

**carrierpidgeon:** making out somewhere probably

**takashmeoutside:** i wouldn’t put it past them

**hunkerdunker:** according to lance’s snap story, five minutes ago, they were leaving the bank and heading toward the ‘gane residence

**hunkerdunker:** and yes, that is to say, lance captioned the snap “headed back to the ‘gane house!!”

**mattata:** iconic i vote we refer to it as that from now on

**shayfromstatefarm:** nay

**hunkerdunker:** nay

**carrierpidgeon:** nay

**allurable:** nay

**takashmeoutside:** nay

**mattata:** you’re all awful friends

**mattata:** lance would not stand for this slander

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t understand how he grows up with me shiro and keith and somehow manages to act like lance’s older brother

**mattata:** i am an enigma

**hunkerdunker:** lance always said shiro was his role model but i think he was lying

**mattata:** I AM OFFENDED

**takashmeoutside:** hunk pls don’t drag me into this

**shayfromstatefarm:** PHONES AWAY THERE’S A CAR OUTSIDE

 

**_TEAM VOLTRON_ **

**lanceylance:** why is everyone’s car here

**kogayne:** shiro is there a specific reason you sent us on a wild goose chase all afternoon

**takashmeoutside:** no dearest cousin of mine whyever would i do such a thing

**lanceylance:** HUNK WHAT DID YOU ALL DO

**hunkerdunker:** nooooothiiiiiiiinnnnnn

**shayfromstatefarm:** come on in and find out

**lanceylance:** i am Afraid™ 

**kogayne:** reminder i actually live here and have every right to kick you all out

**takashmeoutside:** reminder that i pay the bills and am the current homeowner and have every right to veto keith’s decision

**kogayne:** asshole

**takashmeoutside:** you’re gonna like this i promise

 

**_TEAM VOLTRON_ **

**lanceylance:** well, that was fun

**lanceylance:** thank you all very much, i appreciate the apologies and what-not, but you guys didn’t have to do this

**kogayne:** ^^^^^

**hunkerdunker:** yes we did, we had to make it up to you somehow

**shayfromstatefarm:** and now we did!! 

**carrierpidgeon:** okay cool so now that i no longer have to be nice can you guys log into this game so i can kick your asses

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE GOING DOWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapters comin atcha soon   
> also ICYMI [Stars Go Down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/26462739) updated yesterday  
> if you haven't read the [Deceit So Natural](http://archiveofourown.org/series/767406) trilogy what are you waiting for it's my only great accomplishment in life   
> start over here -----> [Where People Go to Die](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539)


	9. Team Halloween Month VS Team It's Literally Just One Day Calm TF Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's halloween month

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this third period and then fifth period my table in physics had this same argument and i wasn't the one who prompted it it was magical
> 
> ALSO I ADDED THIS IMMEDIATELY AFTER CHAPTER 8 SO JUST DOUBLE-CHECK YOU DIDN'T ACCIDENTALLY SKIP ANYTHING THANKS LOVE YOU GUYS

**_TEAM VOLTRON_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** can someone tell lance i’m not associating with him anymore

**carrierpidgeon:** seriously it is OCTOBER 2ND LANCE

**lanceylance:** IT’S THE SECOND DAY OF HALLOWEEN

**kogayne:** my boyfriend is one of Those people

**lanceylance:** SO ARE YOU, DON’T ACT LIKE YOU AREN’T

**lanceylance:** HE’S WEARING A NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS SHIRT UNDER THAT JACKET AND I WILL COME TO HIS CLASSROOM JUST TO PROVE IT

**lanceylance:** AKASKSDLFL I SHOULD’VE SCREENSHOTTED THE SNAPS THIS MORNING

**hunkerdunker:** 1) is screenshotted the word??

**hunkerdunker:** 2) are we taking sides in this conflict

**allurable:** HAPPY SECOND DAY OF HALLOWEEN EVERYONE

**lanceylance:** YES QUEEN

**mattata:** HALLOWEEN MONTH SQUAD WHERE YOU AT

**kogayne:** Disgusted

**lanceylance:** AHSHDJDK KEITH MEET ME IN THE BATHROOM

**takashmeoutside:** um

**lanceylance:** HAVE A LITTLE FAITH SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** i’m with pidge on this one, you are all...really strangely obsessed with halloween

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s literally one day where little kids dress up and get candy, i don’t really see the big deal

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^

**lanceylance:** ALL THIS BETRAYAL

**lanceylance:** KEITH GET IN HERE

**kogayne:** i’m not sure i want to

**lanceylance:** keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe :((((

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** oh no he pulled out the puppy dog eyes

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance  w t f

**hunkerdunker:** I TOLD YOU

**kogayne:** f ucuk i am weak;,,

**mattata:** give into your feelings, kogane

**mattata:** join the dark side, we have candy

**mattata:** and lance

**carrierpidgeon:** KEITH, DON’T DO IT

**carrierpidgeon:** DON’T LOOK INTO ITS EYES, THAT’S THE FIRST RULE OF CRYPTID HUNTING

**lanceylance:** keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith

**kogayne:** HHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

**takashmeoutside:** what am i witnessing

**allurable:** give innnnnn

**allurable:** give iiiiiinnnnn, keith

**hunkerdunker:** i think we’re watching a cult initiation

**lanceylance:** keeeeeeiiiiiiith, i’m waaaaiiiiitiiiiiiiiinnnngggggg

**carrierpidgeon:** i think i’m having a stroke

_ (4) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** homyogo

**kogayne:** [cluthdhces chrhstt] [dieijs]

**shayfromstatefarm:** actually i think keith is having a stroke

**hunkerdunker:** thace just asked if lance’s trip to the bathroom has anything to do with keith, i think he knows we have a group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** omfg

**lanceylance:** keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith i’m loooooonelyyyyyyyyy

**kogayne:** fiNEJR JFINE I’M COKIGN

**lanceylance:** :)

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** and now, i can prove that my boyfriend, cryptid hunter extraordinaire keith kogane, is in fact, on team halloween month

**kogayne:** i’ve never felt more exposed in my life

**carrierpidgeon:** how could you, I TRUSTED YOU

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s been bitten by the halloween zombie known as lance

**lanceylance:** ;)

**takashmeoutside:** THERE’S AN IMAGE OF MY COUSIN I DIDN’T NEED

**mattata:** you act like we didn’t do the same things

**carrierpidgeon:** THERE’S AN IMAGE OF MY BROTHER I DIDN’T NEED

**allurable:** WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE KEITH, ENJOY YOUR CANDY

**lanceylance:** ;) ;) ;)

**hunkerdunker:** can we remove other people from group chats

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ removed  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ from  _ **_TEAM VOLTRON_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** the evil has been defeated

**_kogayne_ ** _ added  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ to  _ **_TEAM VOLTRON_ **

**lanceylance:** I AM OFFENDED

**lanceylance:** I COULD’VE REMOVED ANY OF YOU AT ANY TIME IN THE PAST FOR HARASSMENT

**lanceylance:** I HAVE BEEN  B E T R A Y E D

**carrierpidgeon:** dammit keith

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** HOW DARE YOU REMOVE MY SON FROM THIS GROUP CHAT

**_allurable_ ** _ removed  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ from  _ **_TEAM VOLTRON_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ to  _ **_TEAM VOLTRON_ **

**lanceylance:** allura we can’t get back at her like that

**lanceylance:** it’s nOT NICE

**mattata:** should’ve kept her removed tbh

**shayfromstatefarm:** how about we don’t add or remove any more people

**lanceylance:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**takashmeoutside:** this wouldn’t have been a problem if lance didn’t insist on grossly flirting with keith every five minutes

**kogayne:** i don’t see a problem with it

**lanceylance:** THE CUTEST

**kogayne:** :)

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s not even fighting it anymore

**takashmeoutside:** who are you and where’s the real keith

**lanceylance:** HE IS THE REAL KEITH HE’S JUST IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE

**hunkerdunker:** one year of dating lance and lance broke him

**carrierpidgeon:** I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** ACTING LIKE A DOOFUS, CHOOSING TEAM HALLOWEEN MONTH

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT’S NEXT, HE LIKES CANDY CORN??

**kogayne:** i’ve always liked candy corn wtf

**lanceylance:** YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**allurable:** sorry but not even i can defend that satanspawn

**takashmeoutside:** but it’s delicious??

**mattata:** ^^^^^

**hunkerdunker:** you are an insult to food everywhere

**shayfromstatefarm:** that’s it hunk we have to break up

**hunkerdunker:** OH MY GOD NOT YOU TOO

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU HEATHENS

**lanceylance:** OH SHOOT IT’S SPOOKY SEASON TIME TO BLAST TØP

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAALL MY FRIENDS ARE HEATHENS TAKE IT SLOW

**shayfromstatefarm:** this group chat is a trainwreck

**_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ renamed  _ **_TEAM VOLTRON_ ** _ to  _ **_Team Trainwreck_ **

**kogayne:** story of my life

**kogayne:** and this group chat, much like my life, has one upside 

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

**kogayne:** i was gonna say friendship but okay

**lanceylance:** :O

**kogayne:** ;) <3

**carrierpidgeon:** sjdjsjwkdjfnoepwlak HEATHENS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway i'm on team candy corn and team halloween month don't @ me


	10. Shatt's Epic Backstory, Episode I: The Bisexual Awakens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the glorious rise and tragic downfall of shatt, the birth of shallura, and a romeo and juliet fancast situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i posted this the same day as chapters 8 and 9 make sure u didn't miss those, especially chapter 9 i love chapter 9  
> also timeline what timeline  
> pretend this takes place a few days after the last chapter shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** so apparently this fire drill isn’t a fire drill

**lanceylance:** keith what did you do now

**kogayne:** lance we were in the sAME CLASSROOM

**kogayne:** YOU’RE STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME

**kogayne:** I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING

**hunkerdunker:** wasn’t anyone in culinary, i can tell you that

**shayfromstatefarm:** wasn’t anyone in design, either

**carrierpidgeon:** i know who it was!!

**carrierpidgeon:** IT WAS IN MY CLASSROOM I ALMOST DIED

**mattata:** WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** relax i’m alive and only mildly exaggerating

**carrierpidgeon:** i was in chem and we were using bunsen burners and some fuqboi thought it would be a good idea to screw around with some chemicals that weren’t part of the experiment

**hunkerdunker:** so that explains why the whole science wing is filled with smoke

**lanceylance:** pls send us home pls send us home pls send us home pls send us home

**takashmeoutside:** are all of you okay

**kogayne:** i dunno man i think i might be dead

**kogayne:** for all you know i could be passed out and lance could be texting from my phone

**allurable:** does anyone need rides home from school or do you have yourselves covered in case

**lanceylance:** i’ve got room in my car for people

**shayfromstatefarm:** me too

**lanceylance:** so in the event we have to go home i’ll grab keith and the rest of you are on your own

**carrierpidgeon:** gee thanks lance

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge and hunk can come with me and we can go to the library or get dunkin or something

**mattata:** why do all of you like dunkin so much what about starbs

**lanceylance:** you mean that sugary dirt water?? um no

**mattata:** lmfao i was waiting to see who would call me out

**kogayne:** lance hates starbucks because everyone thinks he’d be the one to show up fifteen minutes late to a function with that mermaid cup in hand

**lanceylance:** they’re confusing me for zarkon’s kid and his squad and i won’t stand for the slander

**lanceylance:** our squad is cooler and drinks superior coffee

**carrierpidgeon:** random semi-related question that has nothing to do with the essays i have coming up in my english class but ummm how many shots of espresso are coffee chains legally allowed to give you

**kogayne:** i’ll write one of your papers for twenty bucks

**carrierpidgeon:** i’d rather take death by caffeine

**lanceylance:** i’ll do it for ten

**carrierpidgeon:** i like my A+ thanks

**lanceylance:** RUDE RUDE RUDE

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll do it for five

**carrierpidgeon:** ……….hmmmmmmmmmmmm

**allurable:** don’t sell yourself short wtf

**takashmeoutside:** how about pidge writes her own essay

**carrierpidgeon:** how about you mind your business

**takashmeoutside:** katie

**carrierpidgeon:** takashi

**lanceylance:** DONKEY

**hunkerdunker:** no,

**shayfromstatefarm:** get in losers we’re going home

**kogayne:** wait really

**lanceylance:** YEP ZARKON’S CALLING IT BETBETBETBETBETBETBETBET

**lanceylance:** DAB ON EM

**kogayne:** why are you like this

**lanceylance:** i dont know but you signed up for this

**kogayne:** unfortunately

**lanceylance:** BABE RUDE

**mattata:** tag urself i’m lance

**takashmeoutside:** neither

**allurable:** “yep he’s shirogane’s cousin alright”

**carrierpidgeon:** i wanna hear some shatt stories from high school

**carrierpidgeon:** allura you must have some

**mattata:** you mean about her secret competition with me to steal my boyfriend

**allurable:** he’s lying i spent all of high school taking too many ap classes and running too many clubs and internally screaming i didn’t have time to go after shiro

**lanceylance:** relatable

**allurable:** besides we all know that i would’ve won him over so much sooner if i’d been focusing

**kogayne:** yeah can i have some clarification here

**kogayne:** what /exactly/ happened between you guys like shiro won’t say anything

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^^

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh] okay listen matt and i were best friends as kids right

**mattata:** oh god you’re gonna get sappy lemme tell it the fun way

**mattata:** THE SCENE IS FRESHMEN YEAR AND SHIRO AND I HAVE BEEN THE BEST OF FRIENDS SINCE WE WERE WEE LITTLE KINDERGARTENERS

**mattata:** WE TAKE FRESHMEN HEALTH AND OUR TEACHER INFORMS US OF THE DIFFERENT SEXUALITIES THERE ARE BESIDES STRAIGHT AND GAY AND WE BOTH GET THIS LOOK IN OUR EYES, CATCHING SIGHT OF EACH OTHER FROM ACROSS THE ROOM AS TIME SLOWS

**mattata:** I COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I AM A RAGING BISEXUAL AND SHIRO WAS MY BI AWAKENING

**lanceylance:** mood

**kogayne:** EXCUSE ME

**takashmeoutside:** EXCUSE ME

**carrierpidgeon:** COUSINS

**mattata:** SHIRO CONCLUDES THAT HE IS, IN FACT, PANSEXUAL, AND SINCE WE WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, AND THEY ALWAYS SAY “MARRY YOUR BEST FRIEND” WE’RE LIKE WHY THE HELL NOT

**takashmeoutside:** we date for three years, sophomore through senior, and we both realize that we’re better off as best friends, so matt, we need to break up but we can still pretend to be husbands

**hunkerdunker:** but didn’t pidge say that the breakup was five years ago

**takashmeoutside:** matt was in denial for a while and i still don’t know whether jokingly or for real

**shayfromstatefarm:** THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH

**mattata:** ALLURA, WHO JOINED OUR FRIEND GROUP HER FRESHMAN YEAR, WATCHES FROM THE SIDELINES, SILENTLY AND PAINFULLY IN LOVE WITH OUR DEAR TAKASHI

**allurable:** i didn’t start liking shiro till college, heathen

**takashmeoutside:** in college i room with matt and we spend all our time hanging out with allura, the modern harry potter trio

**mattata:** i am harry, obviously

**takashmeoutside:** i catch feelings, allura catches feelings, the rest is history

**allurable:** matt is the jealous homewrecking ex-husband

**mattata:** (in all reality, allura is jealous of /me/ because i can win that sweet shirogane back any day)

**mattata:** ;)))))

**takashmeoutside:** ...um, no

**lanceylance:** hunk can you imagine if that had been us

**hunkerdunker:** [shudder] you’re a dead ringer for matt

**mattata:** WHY SHUDDER, HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** [shudders harder]

**hunkerdunker:** tragically, i am straight

**shayfromstatefarm:** IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

**allurable:** THAT’S MY DAUGHTER

**carrierpidgeon:** i thought i was your daughter

**allurable:** you,,,,,, you can have……….more than one child

**takashmeoutside:** wait i did /not/ sign up to be a dad i can hardly control matt

**mattata:** RUDE

**kogayne:** tragically (for all of you), lance is miiiiiine

**lanceylance:** :D

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaand Clingy Keith™ makes a return

**lanceylance:** [stands on a rooftop] [cups hands around my mouth] I LOVE MY CLINGY BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**takashmeoutside:** so are all you youngsters gonna keep texting or are you gonna leave the school

**lanceylance:** who said we’re not already on our ways home

**takashmeoutside:** considering /you’re driving my cousin home/ i REALLY hope you’re not texting and driving, or else i’ll have to ban you from seeing him

**lanceylance:** so a romeo and juliet situation then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**kogayne:** which of us is which

**lanceylance:** okay so obviously i’m romeo

**carrierpidgeon:** romeo was a player

**kogayne:** yep so he’s romeo and i’m juliet, who’s paris

**lanceylance:** oh my god someone just came to mind but you might kick me out of my own car

**takashmeoutside:** ARE YOU TEXTING AND DRIVING

**lanceylance:** NO I SWEAR WE’RE SITTING IN THE PARKING LOT

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** my boyfriend is responsible i promise

**kogayne:** AND OH MY GOD WHO LANCE

**lanceylance:** so remember right before we got together

**kogayne:** ...nO

**kogayne:** IT MAKES SENSE TOO FUCKFUCKFUCK

**hunkerdunker:** IS HE TALKING ABOUT….YOU KNOW

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god i think i know who you’re talking about

**mattata:** is it the real starbs boy

**lanceylance:** [VIGOROUS NODDING]

**allurable:** that was,,, a mess

**kogayne:** he literally sent his squad to STALK ME

**lanceylance:** capulets smh

**lanceylance:** okay and so then pidge and hunk are obviously mercutio and benvolio

**hunkerdunker:** nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**lanceylance:** ??????? you’re literally my backup singers just like they were for romeo

**kogayne:** did he not pick up on…

**carrierpidgeon:** you’d think he would’ve

**hunkerdunker:** with all the sex jokes lance makes he should really be mercutio

**lanceylance:** ...oh the gay subtext

**lanceylance:** okay so then mercutio and benvolio are matt and shiro

**mattata:** oh HELL YEAH

**lanceylance:** that girl i had a thing for sophomore year is rosaline

**carrierpidgeon:** “that girl” are you telling me you forgot her name

**lanceylance:** no keith just doesn’t like when i talk about her

**kogayne:** we have a...bad history

**kogayne:** especially regarding her present boyfriend

**hunkerdunker:** ...shit

**allurable:** ANYWAY if matt and shiro are mercutio and benvolio, then hunk is friar lawrence and the nurse is pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** there’s a fancast i can get behind!!

**kogayne:** important question: who’s tybalt aka my cousin aka not shiro bc he already has a role spoken for

**lanceylance:** legolas wannabe fits that too tbh

**lanceylance:** WAITWAITWAIT OKAY SO SHE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED’S BOYFRIEND CAN BE PARIS BECAUSE THAT FITS TOO

**kogayne:** ...u right

**kogayne:** considering starbs boy hates u and would probably get into a sword fight with u

**lanceylance:** he would be such great friends with paul morvok

**takashmeoutside:** wait so where do shay and allura fit into all of this

**shayfromstatefarm:** the chorus, clearly

**allurable:** we’re staying out of that hot mess

**lanceylance:** so we all agree i’m hot thank u all very much

**kogayne:** ( ͠° ͟ ͜ʖ ͡°)

**lanceylance:** rUDE

**lanceylance:** HERE I AM PREPPED TO DIE FOR YOU AND YOU REPAY ME LIKE THIS

**takashmeoutside:** can u not say things like that right before you go to drive somewhere

**lanceylance:** SHIRO I PROMISE I WON’T KILL HIM OMFG

**allurable:** okay so what’s the plan then

**mattata:** ??????

**allurable:** they’re all out of school and you and shiro are both off of work today and so am i

**kogayne:** EVERYONE TO DUNKIN AND THEN TO THE BROGANE RESIDENCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't the end of the shatt vs shallura arc, tis only the beginning


	11. Shatt's Epic Backstory, Episode II: The Heartbreak Strikes Back (ft. Soft Klance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matt's got something he needs to tell someone and he chooses keith, keith's physics group chat becomes a secret marriage counseling society, and keith and lance are so soft it h u r t s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i cried while writing the last section of this chapter, that's the first time tears have ever been rolling down my face while i've written something, so congrats voltron you fucking broke me  
> also there's a discussion of polyamory/polygamy in this chapter and i'm a monogamous asexual hoebag so if i got anything wrong pls let me know so i can fix it!!! i don't wanna offend i wanna be here to educate!!!

**_mattata > kogayne_ **

**mattata:** keith i know you’re awake 

**kogayne:** i wish i wasn’t

**mattata:** shut up i’m having a crisis and you’re the only person i could think of to talk to

**kogayne:** me??? not shiro or allura or pidge???? or even lance??? ME?????

**mattata:** it’s about shiro and allura and katie’s a fucking gremlin who will say shit if i tell her, and aside from them i’ve known you the longest

**kogayne:** ...shit, this is serious

**mattata:** i wouldn’t text /you/ at four in the fucking morning if it wasn’t serious, kogane

**mattata:** ajdjfkwllsksjdkflsl i’m having a fuckignfdks cirissis

**kogayne:** whoa, matt, okay, breathe

**kogayne:** what’s going on

**mattata:** i…

**mattata:** fuck it i’m not over shiro there i said it 

**kogayne:** /what/

**mattata:** SEVNE FUCKINGD YEARWOS SINCEWJWEBROKE UP NADI [;NT NOVERIT 

**kogayne:** okay, i need some details, and i need them to be coherent

**kogayne:** because right now you’re telling me you’re not over a breakup from seven years ago

**mattata:** I NEVER WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE

**kogayne:** but you told everyone it was mutual and you were better off as best friends

**mattata:** HOW ARE YOU THIS FUCKING DENSE

**mattata:** OF COURSE I’D SAY IT WAS MUTUAL

**mattata:** WHAT WAS I /SUPPOSED/ TO DO, BE CREEPY AND WEIRD AND LOSE SHIRO FOR GOOD?

**kogayne:** so you’ve been pining after your best friend for seven years

**kogayne:** more, if you count that time period before you got together

**kogayne:** and have you ever told him???

**mattata:** WHAT PART OF I DIDNT WANNA BE CREEPY AND WEIRD DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND

**mattata:** asjdwskldle and now he’s with allura and she probably fuckign hates me

**kogayne:** you all were friends in high school and college though??? the modern golden trio??

**mattata:** keith i don’t know how else to tell you but you are so bad at reading between the lines it’s ridiculous

**kogayne:** anyway what brought this on??? why are you suddenly texting me now?

**mattata:** the conversation in the group chat earlier got me thinking about it and i can’t fuckign deal with it

**mattata:** and i like, got desperate and was googling shit and found out polyamory is like, a thing, and THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT BEING WITH SHIRO /AND/ ALLURA AND AJSJDSLDI I’M NOT OPPOSED TO IT BUT THEY’LL BE

**kogayne:** you were best friends since kindergarten and didn’t know you were bi and they were pan until your freshman year

**kogayne:** are you sure they won’t be into it

**mattata:** IT TOOK ME UNTIL I WAS FUCKING TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT FOR MYSELF AND I’M STILL SHOOK WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I’M GONNA ASK THEM

**kogayne:** okay listen to me,

**kogayne:** it’s 4 AM

**kogayne:** you’re freaking out

**kogayne:** go to sleep, okay? you go to sleep, and text me when you wake up

**kogayne:** put your phone away, internet off, lie down, think about this but don’t think too hard

**kogayne:** text me about this tomorrow once you’ve had time to process, and we’ll think of something

**mattata:** AJSJFGJEWLALFIEIVNFSJDTHRERWERNP FINE

**mattata:** but please please YOU CAN’T TELL THEM AND YOU ESPECIALLY CAN’T TELL KATIE

**kogayne:** i won’t

**kogayne:** i know how it feels to pine after someone you think is unattainable, alright? you can get through this

**kogayne:** now get some sleep, holt

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**kogayne:** okay physics fuckers i know this lab is due tomorrow but we kind of have a crisis

**lanceylance:** are you okay??? did something happen????

**kogayne:** yeah, yeah, i’m okay

_ (5) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** ...holy shit

**shayfromstatefarm:** this explains...a lot more, actually

**kogayne:** sHIT FUFKC I DIDN’T MENWAN TO OUT HOM LIKE THIS

**shayfromstatefarm:** if it’s any consolation, we won’t tell him

**hunkerdunker:** i’m just taking a minute to process the fact that 3/8 people in our group chat are whipped for one of the broganes, so technically, if we exclude keith and shiro, half of the group chat is whipped for a brogane

**lanceylance:** excuse me i’m not whipped i am a strong and independent lanceylance who doesn’t /need/ a ‘gane

**kogayne:** :(

**lanceylance:** i said i don’t /need/ you i never said i didn’t /want/ you with all my heart and soul  <3

**hunkerdunker:** that’s it i’m banning labs after midnight from now on we get this done before 10 PM

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay so keith why are you texting us about this?

**kogayne:** we’ve gotta help him i can’t let him just suffer like this

**kogayne:** and since the four of us are all in stable relationships, i figured….we’re the marriage counselors now

**hunkerdunker:** it’s funny bc matt literally said your relationship with lance was unstable

**kogayne:** well matt was wrong and the party you threw proved it so shush we’re focusing on the golden trio right now

**shayfromstatefarm:** does anyone here know for a fact whether or not shiro or allura has ever considered themselves polyamorous or do we have to sleuth it out

**kogayne:** shiro’s never said anything but uhhhh

**lanceylance:** but uhhhhh what spit it out samurai

**kogayne:** ...so like, shiro got drunk this one time, a couple years ago, and i didn’t think much of it

**kogayne:** y’know, sophomore, not really into the whole party scene, trying to figure out how to break up with he-who-must-not-be-named bc i was hopelessly in love with lance, too busy to pay attention to my cousin’s drunken ramblings

**lanceylance:** oh and i’m the whipped one

**kogayne:** you and she-who-must-not-be-named, now HUSH

**kogayne:** it was near christmas, i think??? so you know, holidays, everyone’s gettin sappy, he’s downstairs and i’m upstairs, and all of a sudden i just hear:

**kogayne:** MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT GOD I MISS HIM SO MUCH

**kogayne:** so i just assumed that he wanted to hang out bc they’re best friends and all but…

**lanceylance:** i need a minute i’m

**kogayne:** but then he was like BUT ALLURA I LOVE HER SO MUCH

**kogayne:** and it was late so i was like /oh he must be torn between hanging out between the two of them/

**hunkerdunker:** ARE YOU KIDDING ME, HOW DID YOU NOT PIECE IT TOGETHER

**kogayne:** it also should’ve been more of a giveaway that he hasn’t gotten drunk since

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is...wild, to say the least

**lanceylance:** so what’s the course of action here

**lanceylance:** bc i don’t see anyone walking up to shiro and allura and asking them abt a poly relationship out of nowhere

**kogayne:** yeah um how do those even work

**kogayne:** i’m not really knowledgeable in that situation, i’ve always been a one-man man

**lanceylance:** <3

**lanceylance:** there are different kinds of poly relationships

**shayfromstatefarm:** some are open, some are closed, for one

**lanceylance:** ^^^ some involve all three or more partners being committed to each other, sometimes there’s a group or groups or hierarchy within the set of partners

**lanceylance:** like um you know that meme

**lanceylance:** i’ll use us as an example

**lanceylance:** that meme like “hi i’m lance, this is my boyfriend keith, and this is keith’s boyfriend hunk”

**lanceylance:** that’s like a legit thing, where one member of the relationship will be dating both others, but the other two won’t date each other

**lanceylance:** like in this whole shalluratt situation, it would be “hi i’m allura, this is my boyfriend shiro, and shiro’s boyfriend matt” in which case shiro’s dating matt and allura, matt and allura aren’t dating each other

**shayfromstatefarm:** the key to a poly relationship is consent from all parties. the people involved have to set like, guidelines and stuff for the relationship to make sure everyone is comfortable.

**shayfromstatefarm:** allura and matt would have to know about each other and both consent to shiro dating them at the same time

**lanceylance:** but then of course things could take a turn and all three of them could end up dating each other

**kogayne:** that makes sense

**lanceylance:** and then there are others, like two people are committed to each other but one of them has like,,,,, hhhhhh for lack of a better term a “side hoe” or secondary partner that they see at other times, but instead of going behind their main partner’s back the person would tell their partner “yo i’m gonna go fuck jenny down the street” “alright sweetie be back before sundown!!” in which case jenny down the street knows of,,,, aaaaa what do i name

**lanceylance:** bob tells laura he’s gonna fuck jenny but bob’s main focus is laura but laura’s okay with him fucking jenny and jenny’s okay with laura being bob’s main gf/wife/whatever

**lanceylance:** everyone knows about everyone and their activities

**shayfromstatefarm:** ~consent is key~

**kogayne:** how do u guys know so much i’m impressed

**kogayne:** or did you just google all of it

**lanceylance:** my family is huge i’ve encountered everything

**shayfromstatefarm:** a large, tight-knit community can do that

**hunkerdunker:** i feel enlightened but also these are not sentences i want to read at almost 4:30 in the morning

**kogayne:** well we should finish this lab and go to bed soon so let’s just wrap up this discussion with what we know so far

**lanceylance:** 1\. matt’s still got it bad for shiro

**shayfromstatefarm:** 2\. shiro and allura are in a relationship and are oblivious(?) to matt’s feelings

**hunkerdunker:** 3\. matt’s been playing it off that he’s not dying inside

**kogayne:** 4\. matt would be into a poly relationship with them

**kogayne:** 5\. shiro might not be over matt (but like i said that was ~2 years ago so it’s all up in the air)

**lanceylance:** 6\. matt thinks allura hates him????

**kogayne:** i meant to reassure him she probably doesn’t, i think their banter is just getting misconstrued

**shayfromstatefarm:** 7\. pidge, shiro, and allura aren’t allowed to know about anything until matt feels he’s ready to say something

**kogayne:** 8\. everyone here keeps their mouths shut unless matt tells you

**lanceylance:** yep

**hunkerdunker:** of course

**shayfromstatefarm:** won’t breathe a word

**hunkerdunker:** now, can we please get back to figuring out the buoyancy force here before i crash at my computer

**kogayne:** yep

**hunkerdunker:** thank god

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey so i know we have to like, be up in an hour, but i didn’t wanna forget to ask about this

**lanceylance:** you know how we were talking in the physics gc about consent and boundaries and all that

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** it got me thinking

**kogayne:** thinking,,,,,

**lanceylance:** okay so you know how in the group chats we’ll make jabs at each other and stuff right and i know it’s supposed to be all joking but like

**lanceylance:** i know we both can have *bad days*

**lanceylance:** i want you to know i’m always joking when it comes to stuff like that, okay??? i love you, like a lot, like so much i could probably write a million cheesy metaphors for it and ik it’s kinda weird that we’re just seniors in high school but hhhhhhhhhhhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** yeah, yeah, i know

**kogayne:** me too

**kogayne:** and i really do feel bad sometimes after i send things to the gc bc i know how u can get sometimes, with like, ur insecurities and stuff

**kogayne:** i never want you to feel bad

**lanceylance:** yeah no me neither, but i also don’t wanna constantly feel like we’re walking on eggshells with each other, yknow what i mean??? 

**lanceylance:** like after the gc got all messy and called us out and stuff i’ve….sorta been afraid to hurt you???? and say the wrong thing???

**lanceylance:** so what i’m trying to say is

**lanceylance:** 1) if i’m being rude to you in the gc i’m 100% joking

**lanceylance:** 2) can we have some sort of like...code word or phrase to let each other know if it’s a bad day or we’re overstepping some line

**kogayne:** !!!!!!!! YES 

**kogayne:** you brilliant little shit 

**kogayne:** i’ve been trying to figure out how to approach this tbh bc I FEEL THE SAME WAY

**lanceylance:** it’s like we were made for each other wtf

**kogayne:** okay so what should our code word/phrase/whatever be then??

**lanceylance:** i vote paladins form voltron

**kogayne:** why paladins form voltron?

**kogayne:** ...oh

**kogayne:** i’ve been meaning to ask you about that, actually

**kogayne:** how have you been? i mean, you’ve been /acting/ like you’ve been in a better headspace, but, y’know, i wanna make sure

**lanceylance:** ...i think i’m okay

**lanceylance:** i’m not actually 100% sure what was going on with me that day

**lanceylance:** i guess the gc coming at us just...sort of set me on edge

**lanceylance:** and i trust you keith i swear i do but i still got scared

**lanceylance:** bc what if i wasn’t doing my best??? what if you actually did want to break up???? 

**lanceylance:** so i guess my mind just conjured up a world where we were rivals, just like before, and never came together

**kogayne:** lance you just made me cry

_ (5) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** these are texts i sent shiro the night i was at your house

**kogayne:** i love u so much it hurts

**lanceylance:** KEITH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I’M CRYING

**kogayne:** THAT’S IT I’M COMING OVER

**lanceylance:** WE HAVE TO BE AWAKE FOR SCHOOL IN LIKE AN HOUR

**kogayne:** get dressed now, i’ll get dressed, i come over, we cuddle, we wake up and get coffee and then get our asses handed to us by physics

**lanceylance:** sounds like a plan

**lanceylance:** <3

**kogayne:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> klance,,,, they're ruining my life


	12. National Boyfriend Day: Clingy Lance Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's National Boyfriend Day, and Lance is gonna make sure the whole world knows how much he loves Keith Kogane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this got way longer than i intended  
> also i wasn't gonna write a chapter and post it *today* but then i found out it was national boyfriend day (thanks instagram)  
>  **trigger warning for some mild/implied homophobia. no slurs or anything but it's 2017 and assholes still exist**

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** ON OCTOBER 3RD, HE ASKED ME WHAT DAY IT WAS

**kogayne:** what day is it

**lanceylance:** IT’S NATIONAL BOYFRIEND DAY BITCHEEES

**allurable:** i can’t believe he messed up the quote on purpose

**mattata:** they’re ruining each other

**carrierpidgeon:** one day they’re just going to transform and morph into one horrifying being

**lanceylance:** i’ve always wondered what a fusion of me and keith would be like

**lanceylance:** BUT ANYWAY IT’S THE DAY OF THE YEAR WHERE I FLAUNT KEITH MORE THAN USUAL

**shayfromstatefarm:** is that possible??

**lanceylance:** I DUNNO BUT I’M GONNA TRY MY HARDEST

**lanceylance:** INCOMING PHOTO SPAM

_ (27) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i hope the rest of you have unlimited data

**hunkerdunker:** when were these taken wtf???

**lanceylance:** THIS MORNING, LOOK AT HIS BEDHEAD

**hunkerdunker:** school hasn’t even started?

**kogayne:** i went to his house after we finished the lab

**kogayne:** we’re on our way to dunkin does anyone want anything

**carrierpidgeon:** large macchiato with as many espresso shots as they’re legally allowed to give me

**takashmeoutside:** 1\. no

**takashmeoutside:** 2\. why are you both texting

**kogayne:** we’re getting in the car now, i just took lance’s phone

**kogayne:** and now that he can’t see what i’m doing

_ (13) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** THESE ARE SO AESTHETICALLY PLEASING

**shayfromstatefarm:** DON’T LET THE PHOTOGRAPHY TEACHER SEE THESE OR ELSE SHE’LL MARCH TO GUIDANCE AND DEMAND THEY SWITCH YOU INTO HER CLASS

**kogayne:** no skill just lance’s face

**takashmeoutside:** keith when did you get good at photography wtf

**carrierpidgeon:** [narrator voice]: It was at this moment Keith had to decide whether or not to reveal that he spent too much free time in the woods hunting for cryptids, armed with no more than a camera and several knives.

**mattata:** and why do you know that

**kogayne:** [narrator voice]: It was at this moment that Katie had to decide whether or not to reveal that she spent too much free time in the woods with her cryptid-hunting partner, a gremlin serving as bait to attract the paranormal.

**carrierpidgeon:** ASSHOLE

**kogayne:** takes one to know one

**allurable:** are we sure keith isn’t driving and lance doesn’t have his phone

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i took that literally right now see i match lance’s photos from this morning, that’s lance driving and looking at the road like a responsible human

**hunkerdunker:** he managed to make an impromptu selfie look like art 

**mattata:** the only logical conclusion is that the real keith got abducted by aliens sometime over the summer and got replaced with this one

**kogayne:** nope still the real me

**kogayne:** back to the question at hand, does anyone besides pidge want coffee

**kogayne:** *anyone who’ll be at school

**mattata:** just for that i’ll show up to your school just for some caffeine

**takashmeoutside:** smh i’ll get u and allura coffee later, leave my cousin alone

**takashmeoutside:** knowing u ur gonna show up in nothing but ur boxers

**mattata:** i’m gonna moon zarkon

**hunkerdunker:** file under “mental images of matt holt i didn’t need”

**hunkerdunker:** anyway i’ll pass on the coffee, thanks

**shayfromstatefarm:** small iced pumpkin spice :)

**kogayne:** lance just shouted “YES TEAM PUMPKIN SPICE”

**allurable:** for a summer child he sure has a love of fall

**takashmeoutside:** guess when keith’s birthday is

**allurable:** i just shrieked

**kogayne:** lance just said “I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANE”

**kogayne:** he said he’s gonna scream it in the dunkin line someone stop him

**allurable:** listen i love shiro but not that much 

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** ditto with hunk

**kogayne:** lance is a very intense person

**takashmeoutside:** and so are you, it’s a match made in heaven

**carrierpidgeon:** *hell

**carrierpidgeon:** only satan would play with us like this

**kogayne:** pidge be nice if you want your death coffee

**mattata:** DO NOT BUY MY SISTER A DEATH COFFEE WTF

**takashmeoutside:** ^^^^!!!!!

**kogayne:** fine

**kogayne:** we just got to dunks we’ll be at school in 15

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so that coffee

**kogayne:** you’re probably gonna die

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll never talk about how gross you and lance are ever again

**kogayne:** lance said no need, every time u say that he gets the chance to be more gross and over-the-top

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M NEVER TALKING ABOUT HOW GROSS YOU AND LANCE ARE EVER AGAIN

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** period 3 check-in, lance is in class so i take it he and keith haven’t been sent to the office for being too gross yet

**lanceylance:** we spent all of period 1 holding hands and seeing who could make the other more flustered :)

**kogayne:** i lost

**lanceylance:** we spent period 2 snapchatting :)))

**kogayne:** he’s attractive and it’s not fair

**carrierpidgeon:** patience yields focus patience yields focus patience yields focus

**takashmeoutside:** that’s my mantra wtf???

**kogayne:** that’s gonna be my yearbook quote tbh

**takashmeoutside:** no, please stop expanding my legacy, i’ve had enough of that school

**mattata:** e x p a n d  h i s  l e g a c y

**takashmeoutside:** unfriended blocked reported

**lanceylance:** and this period we’re gonna spend snapchatting, and period 4, and when we get to lunch i’m gonna proclaim my love for him to the whole cafeteria

**kogayne:** LANCE I’M GETTING FLSUGREDD

**hunkerdunker:** so thace just walked up and instead of telling us to put our phones away asked if keith was coming down this period

**lanceylance:** AJSDKWSLSLR KEITH COME HERE

**allurable:** why is he like this

**kogayne:** lance or thace

**allurable:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** he and ulaz probably understand, and i’ll accept it for today only

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m sorry what

**takashmeoutside:** did you guys not know??

**kogayne:** IT’S TRUE???

**lanceylance:** i thought that was an URBAN LEGEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** um explanation please?

**mattata:** ulaz and thace are totally dating

**mattata:** when shiro and i were juniors one of the teachers jokingly asked them when they were getting married bc they constantly acted like a couple

**mattata:** and then they looked at each other and the teachers in the room were like SHIT FORREAL

**mattata:** except this was how long ago???

**takashmeoutside:** let’s see, we’re 25 now, we were 16 entering junior year...9 years ago

**mattata:** good ol 2008

**takashmeoutside:** rumor also has it that ulaz confirmed it to one of his forensics classes a long time ago, but there were only 10 kids in that class and he swore them all to secrecy

**hunkerdunker:** i wonder if there’s any connection to their relationship and thace’s love of criminal drama

**allurable:** yeah probably

**lanceylance:** KEITH ARE YOU COMING OR WHAT

**kogayne:** omw

**carrierpidgeon:** DOES ANY ACTUAL LEARNING GO ON IN THACE’S CLASS

**hunkerdunker:** oh plenty, we’re just his favorites

**shayfromstatefarm:** paul morvok is a very good distraction from our shenanigans

**shayfromstatefarm:** can’t wait to see him get flustered when keith shows up again

**carrierpidgeon:** i still can’t believe they’re the most intimidating couple in your grade when they act so mushy and gross

**lanceylance:** IS THAT A CHALLENGE, PIDGEOTTO

**hunkerdunker:** pidge, you’ve never actually seen lance *try* to be a bad boy

**hunkerdunker:** you’ve only seen him when he’s being ridiculous about it

**carrierpidgeon:** what

**allurable:** lance can be scary

**carrierpidgeon:** no i know lance can be scary, like when he tried to fight paul

**allurable:** oh no, he can be scarier than that, he was still too tired for that fight

**mattata:** somewhere out there exist photos of lance and keith looking like bonnie and clyde but better

**hunkerdunker:** omfg keith just showed up why doesn’t group facetime exist, this is golden

**shayfromstatefarm:** paul looks like he wants to die

**carrierpidgeon:** 24/7 mood

**takashmeoutside:** the life of an ap/honors student

**carrierpidgeon:** ask anyone at any level in my grade, it’s not just the smarties

**hunkerdunker:** THACE JUST STARTED LAUGHING AND HAD TO ASK KEITH TO LEAVE

_ (1) video from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**takashmeoutside:** they’re so lucky they’re not getting sent to the office for that

**carrierpidgeon:** holy shit

**shayfromstatefarm:** tbh thace is risking a lot like that’s some serious pda right there

**hunkerdunker:** paul and his cronies are the only ones who look remotely uncomfortable

**hunkerdunker:** seriously some girl behind me just whispered “what the fuck that’s goals right there”

**mattata:** THESE BOYS ARE OUR LEGACY SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me i’m gonna go bash my head into a wall

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU OLD PEOPLE REALLY SHOULD BE HERE RIGHT NOW

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**allurable:** AHSHDKSLKDDSLLFAJK “SIT DOWN, GAY-ASS” “I’M BISEXUAL, HEATHEN, GET IT RIGHT”

**mattata:** i am so proud of him

**hunkerdunker:** he just got sent to the office i’m

**kogayne:** why is my boyfriend like this

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk thanks for not being like this

**hunkerdunker:** right back at u, sunshine

**shayfromstatefarm:** :)

**carrierpidgeon:** oh shit oh shit here comes paulie boy now that lance is gone

**hunkerdunker:** he’s underestimating the power of friendship

**hunkerdunker:** keith, we’re ready

**kogayne:** paul can’t ruin my day lance risked the office for me i love him so much

**shayfromstatefarm:** how does lance have the ability to do this

**kogayne:** do what

**shayfromstatefarm:** you were like a steel wall freshman year and now you’re a pile of goo whenever lance even looks at you

**kogayne:** i had,,,, a rough past

**kogayne:** i put a lot of walls up

**kogayne:** when i moved in with shiro, he climbed them first

**kogayne:** after lance finally dropped our rivalry at the end of freshman year he did some fuckin parkour and propelled himself over them 

**kogayne:** sophomore year he spent a lot of time hanging out with me behind those walls

**kogayne:** and then when we got together in may he took a fucking bulldozer and drove into them head-on, and they fell right down

**shayfromstatefarm:** that is actually the sweetest

**kogayne:** i tried to stop him but he refused actually

**kogayne:** he’s so stubb

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH???

**shayfromstatefarm:** paul just took his phone and bolted

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith took off after him and pidge followed

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk is getting an administrator

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m here to tell their epic romance to everyone who’s currently asking me what’s going on

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i fucking hate you

**kogayne:** you’re the actual worst

**kogayne:** enough with this shit, you’re embarrassing

**lanceylance:** give my boyfriend his phone back, jackass

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** COME AT THE GROUP CHAT, MORVOK, I DARE YOU

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**takashmeoutside:** why did i just get a missed call from the school

**carrierpidgeon:** because keith just decked the shit out of paul morvok to get his phone back

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** sneaky selfie in the office!! keith and i will probably both get sent home!!

**allurable:** you only stood on a cafeteria table and screamed your love for keith, you’ll probably get let off with a warning, maybe a detention

**allurable:** and paul made the move to harass keith, took his phone, and attempted to impersonate him and harass lance

**allurable:** keith can plead self-defense, and the worst he’ll get is a suspension, probably, /if that/

**mattata:** american high school smh

**shayfromstatefarm:** they better be sent back to class bc we’re learning stuff we’ll need for tomorrow’s lab and hunk and i are not doing it alone

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** the face of a beautiful boy who just got out of a suspension

**hunkerdunker:** so what’s the verdict here

**lanceylance:** i, for standing on the cafeteria table, have detention

**lanceylance:** keith, for chasing paul morvok across the school and decking the crap out of him, in a case of /self-defense/, as paul provoked the conflict, has extended detention today and tomorrow, and has one final warning before he gets a suspension

**lanceylance:** pidge fled the scene before they could catch her

**carrierpidgeon:** suckers

**lanceylance:** paul has a week of ISS, bc they remembered the last fight he got into with us

**allurable:** it’s official, lance and keith are the iconic couple who can evade ISS twice in a month timespan

**takashmeoutside:** what the fuck

**kogayne:** ;)

**lanceylance:** THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT THERE 

**hunkerdunker:** okay great NOW CAN YOU PLEASE COME HERE AND TAKE NOTES SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING TOMORROW

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m dying they stuck us in separate rooms for detention

**allurable:** ajsdkfksldflewfj I’M CRYING

**kogayne:** they put me in morvok’s room

**allurable:** AHDFJSKSDLFGLELSW

**carrierpidgeon:** HNOLY DHSOT

**kogayne:** he does not look pleased with me

**kogayne:** oh look he’s gonna berate me

**kogayne:** do i get a video of this

**takashmeoutside:** videotape either the desk or the ceiling, not his face, but make sure you get the audio

**carrierpidgeon:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** takashi shirogane? giving keith some delinquent advice?

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve had my fair share of harassment in high school

**mattata:** he’s talking about from morvok

**hunkerdunker:** morvok’s a homophobe, isn’t he

**lanceylance:** :(((((( KEITH I LOVE U DON’T LISTEN TO HIM U ARE PERFECT

**lanceylance:** THE SUN TO MY MOON

**lanceylance:** THE PEANUT TO MY BUTTER

**lanceylance:** THE STARS IN MY EYES

**carrierpidgeon:** [loud groaning]

**allurable:** morvok can choke

**allurable:** he’s actual scum

**allurable:** one time, when i was a senior

**allurable:** (mind you, he knew i was friends with matt and shiro)

**mattata:** we were literally the harry potter trio we were  i c o n i c

**allurable:** i needed to talk to a teacher /he/ was talking to

**allurable:** and he saw me and made some...rude comments about matt and shiro

**hunkerdunker:** I WANNA FIGHT

**shayfromstatefarm:** seriously why hasn’t he been fired yet

**allurable:** tenure and a shortage of teachers in the district

_ (1) video from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** his ass is getting fired tomorrow

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey i’m sorry about everything that happened today

**kogayne:** why??

**lanceylance:** we both wound up in the office

**lanceylance:** if i hadn’t stood on the cafeteria table then paul wouldn’t have taken your phone and you wouldn’t have had to go after him and then get detention and get berated by morvok

**kogayne:** hey hey hey listen to me

**kogayne:** i never used our code word today

**kogayne:** and maybe if morvok had harassed me like this freshman or sophomore year i would be a lot more shaken up

**kogayne:** but i’m secure in my identity and have great friends and the best boyfriend ever

**kogayne:** this could’ve been a normal school day but i had fun

**lanceylance:** u sure??

**kogayne:** there’s something thrilling about getting in trouble

**kogayne:** besides

**kogayne:** i love clingy mushy lance just as much as u love clingy keith

**lanceylance:** DHSJWSJFKTKRLT

**lanceylance:** how much longer are u in detention

**kogayne:** until 4:30

**lanceylance:** cool i’ll be in my car doing homework

**kogayne:** wtf??? go home???? you’ll be here another hour??? i can just text shiro????

**lanceylance:** no can do, i made plans for us

**kogayne:** THE WORST

**lanceylance:** love you too babe~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made one of my best friends watch voltron and she finished it last week and i sent her this fanfic and she's hooked and now she demands updates from me  
> i can't wait until she reads deceit so natural  
> she's gonna kill me probably   
> anyhoo i'm gonna go write stars go down peace out


	13. Shatt's Epic Backstory, Episode III: Revenge of the Feelings™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro and matt have to confront their feelings; the beginning of keith and co vs zarkon and morvok; hunk just wants his lab group to be on task, dammit, now calculate the fucking buoyancy force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was playing uno with my brother and one of my best friends while writing this chapter and they thought i would slow them down  
> i won   
> they kept going for 15 minutes  
> i am the uno queen™

**_lanceylance_** _added_ ** _hunkerdunker_** _,_ ** _carrierpidgeon_** _,_ ** _shayfromstatefarm_** _,_ ** _allurable_** _,_ ** _takashmeoutside_** _,_ _and_ ** _mattata_** _to_ ** _KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_**

**lanceylance:** our main operations will take place in the main gc probably but i’ve created this chat so keith doesn’t freak out any more than he already is

**lanceylance:** he’s going to zarkon today with the evidence that should get morvok fired, but morvok’s got tenure and is in zarkon’s good graces

**lanceylance:** i’m going with him for backup and moral support

**lanceylance:** hunk, pidge, shay, do any of you wanna come down with any evidence??

**hunkerdunker:** only if they ask for more

**lanceylance:** good idea

**lanceylance:** crowding keith right now probably isn’t smart

**lanceylance:** he’s freaking out and doing a good job of hiding it but he’s still /freaking out/

**takashmeoutside:** if anything happens, let us know. i’ll march down to that office myself.

**mattata:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**allurable:** if it gets bad, i can see if my father can do anything with the board of ed

**lanceylance:** hhhhhnnnnn i hope morvok gets fired, keith told me last night he wasn’t that shaken up but now that he’s actually gotta confront it he’s jittery

**lanceylance:** AND HE’S USUALLY SO CAREFREE ABOUT THE ADMINISTRATION I WANT TO FIGHT

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance, breathe

**shayfromstatefarm:** if you freak out, keith is /really/ going to lose it

**lanceylance:** HHHHHHHHHHHH I KNOW

**lanceylance:** okay i’m meeting up with keith now i’ll fill you guys in soon

**carrierpidgeon:** let me know if you need more evidence of stuff, i’ve got plenty lying around

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**kogayne:** i’m gonna kill a person

**kogayne:** ZARKON WON’T DO ANYTHING

**kogayne:** HE WON’T FIRE MORVOK OR EVEN FILE A COMPLAINT OR LIKE, TALK TO HIM

**kogayne:** WHY

**kogayne:** HE JUST STARTED BITCHING ME OUT FOR HAVING MY PHONE OUT DURING A DETENTION AND GAVE ME ANOTHER DETENTION TOMORROW

**takashmeoutside:** can he do that??

**allurable:** he shouldn’t be able to.

**allurable:** keith went to file a harassment complaint and remove a harmful presence from campus, and the powers that be refused. 

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re gonna need to network

**carrierpidgeon:** allura, have your dad on standby.

**carrierpidgeon:** lance, GSA starts today, right?

**lanceylance:** SHIT GSA STARTS TODAY I FORGOT

**kogayne:** it astounds me that we even have a gsa when zarkon’s pulling this BS.

**carrierpidgeon:** mention the name morvok during the meeting. see how kids react, if they have any stories. the more evidence we can get, the better.

**carrierpidgeon:** and if those kids also went to zarkon about him, even /better/. we can prove zarkon has a history of negligence.

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk, gather the Straights

**hunkerdunker:** what

**carrierpidgeon:** we need allies

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re the resident Straight

**hunkerdunker:** i

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll do my bestst

**carrierpidgeon:** excellent. shiro, matt, if you guys have any personal stories, get ‘em ready.

**carrierpidgeon:** shay, we need you for witness testimony.

**shayfromstatefarm:** gotcha

**shayfromstatefarm:** i can help with the networking and outreach as well

**carrierpidgeon:** excellent

**kogayne:** what about me

**carrierpidgeon:** you’ve done what you could, and i don’t think any of us want you in any more trouble than you already are

**lanceylance:** pls don’t get ISS, then i can’t see your cute face in class :(

**kogayne:** fufk

**kogayne:** but they make me ANGRY

**lanceylance:** they piss me off too but pls have some self-preservation

**lanceylance:** you aren’t on your own in this one

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re gonna throw the damn school in zarkon and morvok’s faces

 

**_mattata > kogayne_ **

**mattata:** i know you’re having a crisis but i’m gonna just fuckign do it

**kogayne:** what

**mattata:** i’m gonna tell him

**kogayne:** ...are u sure about this

**mattata:** we’re about to dig up our high school romance for the sake of helping you, something’s bound to happen anyway

**mattata:** hopefully...hopefully nothing bad comes from this

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** um we may have another problem

**kogayne:** like aside from mine

**hunkerdunker:** oh man he’s actually gonna do it

**shayfromstatefarm:** so what are we gonna do if things fall apart between them

**shayfromstatefarm:** like...we won’t have to take sides or anything, right??

**kogayne:** shiro’s my cousin but i’ve known matt just as long as shiro has 

**kogayne:** i honestly don’t think i’ll be able to take a side, and they’re both adults, i doubt they’ll blow things up and make us take sides

**kogayne:** in the meantime, we’ve got work to do

**hunkerdunker:** like this lab today, right?

**lanceylance:** hahahahahahahahahahahaha no

**hunkerdunker:** [long sigh]

 

**_mattata > takashmeoutside_ **

**mattata:** on a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you value our friendship

**takashmeoutside:** ...10, why…

**mattata:** i’m about to ruin it

**takashmeoutside:** wait what do you mean

**mattata:** i never got over you

**mattata:** and i never wanted to break up

**mattata:** but i didn’t want to be a creep so i didn’t say anything

**mattata:** but now we’re about to dig up our past for the sake of helping keith and i can’t just stay silent anymore

**mattata:** and there’s a whole lot more i want/need to say but if you don’t want to hear it or want to cut me off, then this is your chance, i won’t continue

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** I HAVE A SITUATION

_ (2) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT THE HELL DO I DO ABOUT THIS

**kogayne:** what do you mean, why are you asking me

**takashmeoutside:** I DON’T KNOW!!

**takashmeoutside:** YOU AND LANCE ARE GONNA HAVE YOUR TWO YEAR IN MAY AND YOU TWO STARTED OFF WANTING TO KILL EACH OTHER I FIGURED YOU’D BE HELPFUL

**kogayne:** okay then i want you to listen

**kogayne:** because i’ve been on matt’s end of things, hopelessly pining over someone

**kogayne:** no matter what you tell him, you have to be gentle with him

**takashmeoutside:** are you assuming i don’t like him back

**kogayne:** ...remember the last time you got drunk, like two years ago?

**takashmeoutside:** shit how long have you known??

**kogayne:** since that exact moment i just specified???

**takashmeoutside:** keith what do i do???? i love allura with all my heart but,,,, matt,,,,,

**kogayne:** ever heard of polyamory

**kogayne:** text me back after you’re done browsing google

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** it’s a waiting game now

**lanceylance:** i still get a rush every time i think about u pining over me, thinking it was hopeless

**lanceylance:** i’m so glad we confessed  <3

**hunkerdunker:** SO LIKE, THE TENSION FORCE, HAS ANYONE CALCULATED THAT YET

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** SHIT WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** ……….sooooooo…..?

**takashmeoutside:** HOW HAVE I NOT KNOWN THIS WAS A THING

**kogayne:** SOOOOOOO……?

**takashmeoutside:** HOW DO I BREAK THIS TO ALLURA AND MATT WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY GONNA THINK

**kogayne:** 1\. you need to text matt back if you haven’t already

**kogayne:** 2\. something tells me matt’ll be cool with it, he said he has more to tell you

**kogayne:** 3\. put on your big boy pants and text your girlfriend

**takashmeoutside:** keith i can’t lose her but i can’t lose him

**kogayne:** it’ll be okay

**kogayne:** and if it’s not then i’ll buy you ten tubs of ben  & jerry’s so you can drown your sorrows

**kogayne:** and if it’s /really/ bad then i won’t act so obnoxiously in love with lance around you

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** baaaaaaabe :(

**kogayne:** shhh we’ll still be obnoxiously in love just not around shiro

**hunkerdunker:** calculate lance and keith’s buoyancy forces if i throw them into the ocean for not doing their physics work

**lanceylance:** i’m the strongest swimmer in this group chat ummm

**hunkerdunker:** cool so i’ll have no remorse for throwing you into the ocean

**kogayne:** um i suck at swimming

**lanceylance:** i’ll save u ;)

**hunkerdunker:** shay, thank you for never being like this

**shayfromstatefarm:** you too, lovey

 

**_takashmeoutside > mattata_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i’m sorry i took so long to respond, i was processing

**takashmeoutside:** before you continue, i need to confess that i haven’t exactly...fully gotten over you

**takashmeoutside:** and i have something i need to tell you, because...i’m trying to piece together how i feel, because obviously i love allura with all my heart, but

**mattata:** but

**takashmeoutside:** ...i think i might still feel that way about you, too

**mattata:** w h a t

**takashmeoutside:** i didn’t actively acknowledge it for a while, it was just a thing? a little while after the breakup i...sort of regretted it, but i thought you didn’t want it, so i buried it

**mattata:** W H A T

**takashmeoutside:** and um

**takashmeoutside:** keith showed me this thing,

**mattata:** polyamory

**takashmeoutside:** how did

**takashmeoutside:** wait

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** YOU LITTLE SHIT

**kogayne:** i have no idea what you’re talking about

**takashmeoutside:** YOU TALKED TO MATT ABOUT THIS

**kogayne:** i can neither confirm nor deny

 

**_takashmeoutside > mattata_ **

**takashmeoutside:** you talked to keith

**mattata:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** you,,,,

**mattata:** i was freaking out

**mattata:** i thought keith was my best source of info on you, besides myself

**mattata:** bc i couldn’t just ask allura

**takashmeoutside:** right, allura…

**takashmeoutside:** you said you had more to tell me

**takashmeoutside:** you’d be into a poly relationship, wouldn’t you

**mattata:** would you be angry if i said yes

**takashmeoutside:** no.

**takashmeoutside:** because i’ve discovered i feel the same.

**takashmeoutside:** but now i need to figure out how to tell allura about this...i don’t know how she’s gonna react

**mattata:** look, allura’s your current girlfriend, and if she’s uncomfortable with it, i know how you feel about her, i’ll step back

**takashmeoutside:** but what about you???

**mattata:** i’ll be okay

**mattata:** i’ve dealt with it for seven years, i can keep dealing with it

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT DO I DO

**kogayne:** ah i love when my relationship isn’t the center of the current squad drama

**kogayne:** anyway, like i said, text your girlfriend, make a group chat with her and matt if you have to

**takashmeoutside:** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** okay hunk is about to take my phone i need to do this lab

**takashmeoutside:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_takashmeoutside_ ** _ added  _ **_mattata_ ** _ and  _ **_allurable_ ** _ to  _ **_discussion_ **

**takashmeoutside:** we need to talk

**allurable:** is everything okay?

**allurable:** is this about keith?

**takashmeoutside:** no, this is about us

**allurable:** what’s going on?

**takashmeoutside:** allura, i want you to know that i love you a lot. a whole lot.

**allurable:** i sense something else is coming

**takashmeoutside:** have you ever heard of polyamory

**allurable:** oh!! so you and matt finally realize you’re still in love!! about time!!

**takashmeoutside:** what in the fucm

**allurable:** you guys are so bad at reading signals it physically hurts

**mattata:** SO ARE YOU OPEN TO THE IDEA OF ME AND SHIRO DATING WHILE SHIRO’S DATING YOU

**allurable:** tbh if you said you wanted to date shiro and me i wouldn’t be opposed to it

**mattata:** W H A T

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

 

**_mattata > kogayne_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** WHAT IN THE FUCK

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** IM WHEISSNDG

**lanceylance:** so now everyone knows except pidge

**hunkerdunker:** who volunteers to tell her

**shayfromstatefarm:** NOT IT

**kogayne:** NOT IT

**hunkerdunker:** NOT IT

**lanceylance:** NOT IT

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is a continuation of this day and might go up tonight depending on how fast i write it and how long i procrastinate on my math homework


	14. Some Plotters Do Some Plotting (A Thing The Author Did Not Do)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge finds out; lance's flirting with keith is out of control; the group begins discussions about the Zarkon Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all are so nice thanks for the lovely comments i love opening them in the middle of the school day and smiling at my math work and having my math teacher assuming i'm enjoying the hell that is her classroom and wow this took a turn  
> here's the next section  
> next one's going up either tonight or tomorrow  
> someone yell at me and tell me to work on SGD

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** are u sure i’m the one who needs to confront her

**hunkerdunker:** we did not it and you lost

**lanceylance:** what if she flips out bc she knew last

**lanceylance:** keith come with me

**kogayne:** what why

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE MATT TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL AND I’M NOT GONNA TELL HER ALONE

**kogayne:** you’re lucky i love you

 

**_lanceylance > carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** hey can u meet me and keith at the vending machine in D wing

**carrierpidgeon:** wtf why???

**lanceylance:** we’ve got something to tell you that’s too sensitive to do over text

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m Afraid

**carrierpidgeon:** omw

 

 ** _carrierpidgeon_** _added_ ** _mattata_** _,_ ** _takashmeoutside_** _,_ _and_ ** _allurable_** _to_ ** _WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK_**

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE SHIT

**mattata:** DAMMIT KEITH

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY WAS I KEPT OUT OF THE LOOP

**mattata:** I FELT LIKE IF I TOLD YOU YOU’D PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF ME OR SPREAD IT AROUND BEFORE I WAS READY

**carrierpidgeon:** MATT WTF

**carrierpidgeon:** SHIRO?? YOU DIDN’T EVEN COME TO ME????

**carrierpidgeon:** RESIDENT MATT KNOW-IT-ALL????

**takashmeoutside:** shhhhhhhh shh shhhhhhh i planned on keeping my feelings buried until matt said something

**carrierpidgeon:** NOT EVEN YOU ALLURA

**allurable:** i had no part in this until just now

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU’RE ALL DEAD TO ME

**lanceylance:** i’ve been dead inside for years anyway

**kogayne:** lance nO

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**kogayne:** lance u ready for gsa 

**lanceylance:** HELL YEAH

**lanceylance:** how are u gonna get out of extended

**kogayne:** i’m not showing up

**kogayne:** coran is gsa advisor, right? he won’t throw me out

**kogayne:** zarkon’s already trying to give me another detention i don’t deserve, may as well earn it

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s going to assign you another

**kogayne:** OH WELL

**kogayne:** AS VICE PRESIDENT OF GSA I’M SHOWING UP

**lanceylance:** that’s my boyfriend :)

**hunkerdunker:** lance don’t encourage him

**mattata:** ENCOURAGE HIM

**takashmeoutside:** /don’t encourage him/

**mattata:** E N C O U R A G E  H I M

**shayfromstatefarm:** ANYWAY lance do you have the agenda for the meeting prepped

**lanceylance:** why yes i do, madam secretary

**lanceylance:** WHERE’S MY TREASURER AT

**carrierpidgeon:** not part of this group chat

**lanceylance:** riiiiiiiiiiiiiight

**hunkerdunker:** i wanna say pidge should’ve been treasurer but she was just a freshman last year

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY LET’S GOOOOOOO

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**kogayne:** MURDER

**carrierpidgeon:** SHOOKETH

**shayfromstatefarm:** H O W

**hunkerdunker:** i am beyond words

**allurable:** what happened??

**lanceylance:** ZARKON’S KID AND HIS SQUAD JOINED GSA AND I’M NOT ALLOWED TO BE MEAN TO THEM BC GSA IS A HATE-FREE ENVIRONMENT

**kogayne:** they claim they’re not there to do any dirty work

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^ legolas wannabe said that he hates his dad and wants to help us

**hunkerdunker:** this is after lance brought up that if anyone has been harassed by a member of the staff or administration, they need to speak up

**shayfromstatefarm:** he got a Look on his face

**takashmeoutside:** maybe give them the benefit of the doubt?

**kogayne:** HIS SQUAD STALKED ME FRESHMAN YEAR

**takashmeoutside:** you were freshman, you were all morons

**takashmeoutside:** maybe he’s matured

**takashmeoutside:** i know you’ve matured

**kogayne:** i’m gonna ignore that

**lanceylance:** HHHHHHHHHHHH

**lanceylance:** i’ll keep an eye on the situation, and we’ll get coran to intervene if it gets bad

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY I GOT SOME INTERESTING STORIES FROM SOME KIDS ABOUT HARASSMENT THAT’S BEEN SWEPT UNDER THE RUG

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re building up the Evidence Locker

**hunkerdunker:** *a google doc titled Harassment Evidence Locker, not an actual locker, although that would be cool, and it’s probably a good idea to have hard copies of everything on hand

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve already printed half of our stuff out

**hunkerdunker:** hey i love you

**shayfromstatefarm:** :)

**lanceylance:** oh sure call me and keith out for expressing our love

**hunkerdunker:** you two are gross about it

**lanceylance:** GROSS?? I’LL SHOW YOU GROSS

**lanceylance:** HEY KEITH

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**lanceylance:** YOU

**lanceylance:** ME

**lanceylance:** PLAY AUDITIONS

**lanceylance:** WOOD CLOSET

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE

**mattata:** SHIRO DO YOU REMEMBER

**takashmeoutside:** he’s,,,, literally you

**kogayne:** we hide in there and pretend to make out and make everyone uncomfortable while in all actuality we’re just cuddling??

**lanceylance:** how dare you expose my master plot

**mattata:** never mind he’s not me

**carrierpidgeon:** there are some things i wish i never read and this is one of those things

**lanceylance:** your virgin eyes can’t handle it

**carrierpidgeon:** my virgin eyes have seen the darkest reaches of the internet, my asexual ass just doesn’t want any of your bisexual bodaciousness

**allurable:** bodacious: audacious in a way that is admirable

**lanceylance:** so you think my pursuit of keith and my end goal of grossing out the gc is admirable ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** i was hoping everyone would be too lazy to look up the word, i just needed one that started with b

**takashmeoutside:** so you went with “bodacious”?????

**carrierpidgeon:** ...yes

**lanceylance:** i’m admirable it’s too late for her to take it back

**carrierpidgeon:** [sigh]

**kogayne:** pidge’s amount of patience is pretty admirable imo

**lanceylance:** WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON KOGANE

**kogayne:** pidge said we’d go cryptid-hunting this weekend i’m not about to lose my hunting partner

**lanceylance:** [clutches chest] he chose her over me

**lanceylance:** i weep

**lanceylance:** i weep for what once was, what could have been

**lanceylance:** [collapses on the floor in a heap of tears]

**lanceylance:** i must die now, for my will to live has disappeared

**lanceylance:** [dies]

**kogayne:** tragic

**shayfromstatefarm:** [chorus sings a soft death hymn]

**allurable:** [chorus is really just singing “rest in pieces” but it’s us so it sounds pretty]

**hunkerdunker:** what the hell am i reading

**mattata:** the greatest tragedy of our generation

**takashmeoutside:** keith choosing cryptids over lance

**carrierpidgeon:** finally, some common sense

**lanceylance:** [rises from the dead] I AM OFFENDED

**takashmeoutside:** hi offended, i’m dad

**allurable:** MFHJFHGMDMS

**lanceylance:** this group chat is the worst why am i here

**hunkerdunker:** you made the chat

**lanceylance:** WELL RIGHT NOW I’M HAVING REGRETS

**kogayne:** hey so important topic at hand i can either go home now or go to detention

**takashmeoutside:** go home

**takashmeoutside:** actually everyone come over to the brogane residence, let’s form a plan of action for confronting zarkon

**lanceylance:** bet

**lanceylance:** keith get in my car

**lanceylance:** dO NOT WALK AWAY FROM ME

**lanceylance:** sOTOTP RRUNIGN YOU JSIERLK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of my homework is in calc and i'm missing calc tomorrow for a governor debate god bless


	15. The Revenge Squad Is Born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the usual group chat shenanigans, until keith gets called to the main office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a direct positive correlation between how late it gets when i'm writing these chapters and how long and feelsy they are  
> aka MORE KLANCE SHIT BECAUSE I'M SO FAR GONE FOR THESE TWO  
>  **trigger warning for more implied/referenced homophobia and an implied/referenced breakdown**

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**hunkerdunker:** okay everyone good morning remember the plan

**hunkerdunker:** lie low for the day

**kogayne:** let’s see if word’s gotten back to zarkon and morvok that i skipped out on detention yesterday

**lanceylance:** keith, no

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** do not provoke them

**kogayne:** i didn’t plan on it

**kogayne:** it’s just gonna be,,,,, interesting is all

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna provoke keith into provoking them

**lanceylance:** HHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNN PIDGE WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON

**hunkerdunker:** the cryptkids are ganging up on you 

**lanceylance:** I KNOW AND I DON’T LIKE IT

**takashmeoutside:** keith, no.

**mattata:** keith yes

**lanceylance:** MATT I WAS COUNTING ON YOU

**allurable:** keith no

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU ALLURA

**allurable:** of course!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** should i chime in on this discussion

**lanceylance:** ARE YOU ON MY SIDE

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**lanceylance:** THEN YES

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith no

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU SHAY

**lanceylance:** HUNK, TAKE A SIDE

**hunkerdunker:** i choose the path that won’t get me in the office today

**hunkerdunker:** keith no

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU HUNK

**lanceylance:** TEAM KEITH IS OUTNUMBERED, GIVE UP

**kogayne:** i thought you were always on team keith?

**lanceylance:** HHHH DON’T DO THIS TO ME

**allurable:** be strong for mother

**lanceylance:** so if you’re my mom is matt or shiro daddy

**takashmeoutside:** patienceyieldsfocuspatienceyieldsfocuspatienceyieldsfocus

**mattata:** both of us are daddies™ 

**lanceylance:** you know what this makes up for you taking keith’s side

**carrierpidgeon:** i thought if you and keith got into a fight, we didn’t even have to take sides

**lanceylance:** ah, but pidgey, this is where you’re /wrong/

**lanceylance:** i meant a /serious, there’s an honest chance we could break up with each other if we don’t resolve this like mature adults/ fight

**kogayne:** i have concerns

**lanceylance:** NOT THAT WE’D EVER REACH THAT POINT BECAUSE WE TALK THROUGH OUR PROBLEMS

**carrierpidgeon:** you fuckin better not, you’ll be insufferable

**lanceylance:** AND IF WE BROKE UP I’D PROBABLY NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE EVER AGAIN AND MY NEW BOYFRIENDS WOULD BE TWO GUYS NAMED BEN AND JERRY

**kogayne:** i have less concerns now

**lanceylance:** /this/ fight is no more than keith being ridiculous

**lanceylance:** and he and i both know that if it comes down to it

**lanceylance:** if zarkon or morvok come at him

**lanceylance:** because keith provoked them

**lanceylance:** i’ll still be at his side

**carrierpidgeon:** this is disgusting

**allurable:** ly cute!!!!

**takashmeoutside:** what if keith didn’t provoke them

**lanceylance:** then i’ll definitely be there and i’ll be even angrier because that’s my boyfriend they’re screwing with how dare they

**lanceylance:** i will gladly get my armor dented to protect keith

**mattata:** tell me why these two seniors in high school have a better time committing to each other than half the married couples out there nowadays

**kogayne:** IT’S CALLED A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP LOOK IT UP

**carrierpidgeon:** a 21st century cryptid

**hunkerdunker:** so then could u say,,,

**lanceylance:** THE HUNTER HAS BECOME THE HUNTED

**carrierpidgeon:** fuckfignrne

**kogayne:** i can’t believe pidge set me up for that

**shayfromstatefarm:** i just laughed so loudly that some freshman just gave me the stink eye

**lanceylance:** SHAY’S BEEN LURKING

**shayfromstatefarm:** no, i spoke earlier

**lanceylance:** been lurking ever since

**carrierpidgeon:** keith what kind of cryptid is this

**hunkerdunker:** an angel on earth, that’s what

**shayfromstatefarm:** <3

**lanceylance:** THE DOUBLE STANDARDS

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

_ (3) photos, (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** tell me why this is the third time this school year keith’s eaten pizza for lunch

**carrierpidgeon:** /with a fork and knife/

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS WITH YOU FOR YEARS, YOU ARE NOT THIS EXTRA AT HOME

**takashmeoutside:** keith is no longer my legacy i don’t claim him

**kogayne:** i have to let everyone know i’m armed and dangerous

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S A PLASTIC KNIFE AND FORK

**hunkerdunker:** CAN WE NOT SEND THINGS LIKE THAT TO THE GROUP CHAT, LEST GUIDANCE OR THE OFFICE GET WIND

**kogayne:** i will look anyone dead in the eye as i cut pizza with a plastic knife and eat it with a plastic fork, fucking come at me,

**shayfromstatefarm:** (i think zarkon and morvok have him on edge)

**lanceylance:** hey, babe, if they come at u, u won’t have to do a thing

**lanceylance:** the rest of us have u

**lanceylance:** remember the plan to lie low

**mattata:** I JUST OPENED THE GROUP CHAT

**mattata:** KEITH WHAT THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** YOU RUINED A ROMANTIC MOMENT

_ (1) photo from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** you two are holding hands

**shayfromstatefarm:** you just kissed each other

**lanceylance:** MATT RUINED IT

**carrierpidgeon:** as he does with most things

**mattata:** stfu katherine

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s not even my real name

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HEARD over the pa system just now: “keith kogane to the main office”

**hunkerdunker:** everyone knows that’s code for “you’re in trouble”

**lanceylance:** I WANT TO GO AND DEFEND HIM BUT I CAN’T HHHH

**lanceylance:** i’m genuinely afraid for him

**lanceylance:** zarkon took morvok’s side and they’re both homophobic dicks and,,,

**allurable:** count to ten

**allurable:** i may have to jump into the main chat for this, but i don’t want to freak out keith any more than he probably already is:

**allurable:** whatever happens, inform me.

**allurable:** if there’s documentation, even better.

**allurable:** my father will take things to the board of ed and even the superintendent if necessary.

**allurable:** this kind of harassment cannot and should not stand.

**lanceylance:** i’m also mad bc this was study hall and we were gonna go do homework in the library together  >:’( but now he’s gonna be harassed by the principal!!

**takashmeoutside:** you don’t even know for sure that he got called to the office for anything related to that whole situation.

**mattata:** but it’s a pretty safe bet it’s for that

**takashmeoutside:** unfortunately

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** i;m soeworieed about hsoim it’sb enen tenk,inutes 

**takashmeoutside:** i know, lance, i am too

**lanceylance:** he told meaoboutr hwo he struglgled witht hih m identityy for so kllgng

**lanceylance:** if zakeorn ruiksn d it forhim i’ll havevrtto fight

**takashmeoutside:** and i’ll be right there with you.

**lanceylance:** he siad  hwqwas securre in his ifnrtityy but whatif he’s nto ahdfte thiers

**takashmeoutside:** lance, you’re getting incoherent. 

**takashmeoutside:** put the phone down, take a few deep breaths, do some homework

**takashmeoutside:** keith’s a tough kid, he’ll just need us to be there to support him

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** bahtrom paldinsoform voltron

**lanceylance:** need me?

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** omw

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**hunkerdunker:** lance you’ve been gone all period

**hunkerdunker:** is everything okay?

**lanceylance:** give keith space the rest of the day

**hunkerdunker:** ...shit

**allurable:** i just threw my phone across the room

**takashmeoutside:** does he need me to come pick him up? 

**lanceylance:** yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** /shit/

**mattata:** i’m out and about, i’m picking up some monster movies and ice cream and i’m dropping them at the brogane house

**shayfromstatefarm:** this whole situation is awful

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s our senior year

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is supposed to be a chaotic but happy time where the principal and teachers help us prep for college, not tear us down for /who we are/.

**allurable:** they’re not going to get away with this.

**takashmeoutside:** i’m coming to pick him up right now.

**hunkerdunker:** alright

**hunkerdunker:** i think the best thing we can do is keep getting on with our days while shiro takes keith home

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^^ like lance said earlier, keith doesn’t like crowds and doesn’t like to cause a scene, especially with Emotion

**lanceylance:** ^

**lanceylance:** give him a few hours

**lanceylance:** when school’s out, i’m gonna try texting him, after he’s had about an hour to calm down

 

**_klance sorry party committee_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_klance sorry party committee_ ** _ to  _ **_revenge squad_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m not gonna burden lance with this while he takes care of keith

**carrierpidgeon:** but as for the rest of you

**carrierpidgeon:** welcome to revenge 101

**carrierpidgeon:** your first assignment: Operation Raise Hell

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey man

**lanceylance:** you don’t need to respond to this

**lanceylance:** i just wanted to tell you that no matter what, 

**lanceylance:** 1\. i love you and i’m here for you

**lanceylance:** 2\. you are entirely valid and deserving of all the love in the world

**lanceylance:** 3\. you’re the strongest person i know

**lanceylance:** 4\. you make me happy, and i don’t know where i’d be without you

**lanceylance:** so fuck zarkon, fuck morvok, they’re shitty people and wouldn’t know kindness if it socked them in the face

**lanceylance:** i.

**lanceylance:** love.

**lanceylance:** you.

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** keith is crying into his pillow and muttering “he’s too good for me”

**takashmeoutside:** just wanted to let you know, since i know he has read receipts turned on for you

**takashmeoutside:** you’re good for each other.

**takashmeoutside:** after almost one and a half years, consider this my stamp of approval

**takashmeoutside:** one i’ve been meaning to give for a while

**lanceylance:** sHITI I DIDN’TMRNWAN TO MEKAEK HIM HCRY

**takashmeoutside:** it’s a good kind of cry and one that’s long overdue

**lanceylance:** ...aere yiu syure

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** also, i think he wouldn’t be opposed to seeing you right now

**lanceylance:** OMW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have an idea for the friday chapter that'll hopefully be more lighthearted   
> okay it's midnight and i still need to shower before bed so good night i probably won't go to bed until 2 AM and also i need to give some attention to stars go down


	16. A Baptism of Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> operation raise hell, ft. a football game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna finish this last night but i was so tired after school i took a nap and then went to a football game and then took the SAT this morning and ALSO THAT NYCC PANEL??? I'M STILL SCREAMING?????  
>  **trigger warning for more of zarkon's homophobia, what a dick *nothing explicit, just referenced/implied***

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** u don’t have to worry about anything today, i’m gonna get all ur work for u

**kogayne:** ???? i’m coming to school??????

**lanceylance:** wtf??? take a mental health day

**lanceylance:** why would u come in and deal with zarkon and morvok??

**kogayne:** i’m not gonna let them have power over me

**lanceylance:** okay but you can’t sacrifice your mental health to spite them

**kogayne:** i’m okay, i swear

**lanceylance:** if i find that ur not okay i will personally leave school to bring u home

**kogayne:** boyfriend or not if u try to take me home i will kick ur ass

**lanceylance:** how can u even reach from all the way down there

**kogayne:** you’ve stooped the inch low enough 

**lanceylance:** the only inch-stooping i do is to kiss that stupid cute face of yours

**kogayne:** AJSKDKSLSLD YOU CAN’T JUST SYA STUDFN LIKE THAT

**lanceylance:** buuuuuuuuuut i just did

**kogayne:** sAJSJSKSF STOP THIS ISN’T FAIR

**lanceylance:** all’s fair in love and war

**lanceylance:** so i guess i’m picking you up in 15??

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** oh good, expect me to kiss that stupid cute face of yours when i get there

**kogayne:** you’re the actual worst

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**hunkerdunker:** anyone wanna tell me why keith is back at school after yesterday

**takashmeoutside:** he woke up this morning and blasted the phoenix eleven times in a row

**takashmeoutside:** he’s a boy on a mission

**lanceylance:** i told him to stay home and then told him if i caught him slipping i’d literally drive him home in the middle of the school day

**shayfromstatefarm:** i sense more here

**lanceylance:** he told me if i did that he’d kick my ass

**lanceylance:** how do i gently tell him that he needs to put his pride aside and let us help him

**lanceylance:** and let him know that he doesn’t need to fight his battles alone or make some kind of point

**mattata:** whipped

**allurable:** a sweet boyfriend

**mattata:** WHIPPED

**takashmeoutside:** now wait just a minute holt,

**mattata:** ANYWAY YOU’VE GOTTA BE STRAIGHTFORWARD WITH KEITH

**lanceylance:** i  t r i e d

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re fucked

 

**_revenge squad_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** keep lance and keith away from morvok, zarkon, and paulie boy at all times

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk, you’ve got what i asked for?

**hunkerdunker:** an army

**carrierpidgeon:** excellent

**carrierpidgeon:** shay, you’ve gathered gsa?

**shayfromstatefarm:** of course!!

**carrierpidgeon:** allura?

**allurable:** all set. he’ll be at the board of ed by 10.

**carrierpidgeon:** good

**carrierpidgeon:** matt? shiro?

**mattata:** >;)

**takashmeoutside:** all set

**carrierpidgeon:** excellent

**carrierpidgeon:** let’s watch these fuckers try and give detention to half the school /and/ previous alums

**mattata:** for once, i’m proud you grew up to be a fucking gremlin

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

**kogayne:** IT’S LIKE THIS SCHOOL WENT THROUGH A BAPTISM OF GAY

**carrierpidgeon:** and l and b and t and p and a and i and the other letters

**kogayne:** WHY DID I JUST SEE TWO GSA JUNIORS RUNNING AWAY WITH “ACE PATROL” BADGES, PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** noooo reaaaaasonnnn

**kogayne:** what did you DO

**carrierpidgeon:** you act as though i acted alone in orchestrating the biggest lgbtq+ flashmob in this school’s history

**kogayne:** L A N C E

**lanceylance:** I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS I SWEAR

_ (2) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** morvok and zarkon look like they’re about to have aneurysms

**kogayne:** WHO ELSE WAS IN ON THIS

**shayfromstatefarm:** me

**hunkerdunker:** hello

**takashmeoutside:** what’s up

**mattata:** you rang?

**allurable:** oh, that’s just the reaction from zarkon and morvok i was hoping for

**kogayne:** G U Y S

**allurable:** so now, while zarkon and morvok are going to run around and give half the school detention, i’ll be at the board of ed with my father :)

**kogayne:** YAINT FOR REAL WITH THIS

**takashmeoutside:** oh my god we broke him

**mattata:** ah, the elusive Southern Keith has made an appearance!!

**carrierpidgeon:** what kind of pokemon is that

**lanceylance:** hey back off i already caught this one

**kogayne:** W H A T  D I D  Y O U  A L L  D O 

**hunkerdunker:** don’t worry about it

**kogayne:** WHO DUMPED GLITTER IN MY LOCKER

**kogayne:** HOW DID YOU EVEN GET MY COMBO

**lanceylance:** they said they were planning something for your birthday and needed it whoops

**kogayne:** THIS IS LIKE THE HERPES OF CRAFTING SUPPLIES AND NOW IT’S ALL OVER MY TEXTBOOKS

**kogayne:** ...wait nvm it’s on textbooks for classes i don’t like we’re good

**kogayne:** but  W H Y

**carrierpidgeon:** shhhhh let everything play out, the dumber you are, the more evidence zarkon and morvok won’t have to pin against you

**lanceylance:** THEY CAN’T COME FOR HIM I’LL GO AT THEM FIRST

**kogayne:** OKAY BUT WHY

**hunkerdunker:** dude, yesterday??

**carrierpidgeon:** had all of us SHOOKETH

**shayfromstatefarm:** zarkon comes for one of us, he comes for all of us :)

**lanceylance:** hunk your girlfriend’s smiley face is scaring me

**hunkerdunker:** i’m so proud of her :’)

**hunkerdunker:** but YEAH ANYWAY we wanted to assure you that zarkon and morvok aren’t getting away with their bs

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU CAN’T GIVE HALF THE SCHOOL DETENTION FUCKERS

**carrierpidgeon:** WANNA KNOW WHY?

**carrierpidgeon:** IT LOOKS MIGHTY SUS

**carrierpidgeon:** PEOPLE ARE GONNA START ASKING QUESTIONS

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY DID THEY GET DETENTION, MR ZARKON???

**carrierpidgeon:** THEY HAD A MASSIVE LGBTQ+ FLASHMOB AND PUT UP POSTERS AND SHIT ALL AROUND THE SCHOOL

**carrierpidgeon:** AND WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT??

**carrierpidgeon:** BECAUSE I VERBALLY ABUSED A GAY KID IN MY OFFICE AFTER HE WAS BEING HARASSED BY A TEACHER’S SON, SO EVERYONE BANDED TOGETHER TO RALLY BEHIND HIM

**carrierpidgeon:** HEY MR ZARKON ISNT HARASSMENT AGAINST SCHOOL POLICY, EVEN MORE SO IF ITS ADMINISTRATOR-ON-STUDENT

**carrierpidgeon:** WELL SHIT SON YOU’RE RIGHT

**kogayne:** i’m

**lanceylance:** update we broke him again

**lanceylance:** like for real

**lanceylance:** guys he’s redder than his jacket we BROKE HIM

**lanceylance:** here he can’t text right now but he says thank you this means a lot to him and he loves all of us (but he loves me the most)

**kogayne:** I IDDNTKT DAYS THAT

**lanceylance:** shhhh we all know you meant to, we love you too  <3

**lanceylance:** UM WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ZARKON SCREAMING FROM ACROSS THE SCHOOL

**shayfromstatefarm:** uhhh you and keith should probably go hide in a classroom somewhere

**lanceylance:** alright ulaz’s room is near here somewhere

**allurable:** if anyone could document what’s going down right now, that would be lovely!

**carrierpidgeon:** shooting my storage to shit as we speak

_ (5) videos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** more to come

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO SNEAK INTO PSYCH WITH ZARKON JUST DOWN THE HALLWAY

**kogayne:** we didn’t need to hide

**lanceylance:** keith,

**kogayne:** nvm i’m not even gonna argue it, you were cute trying to shield me

**lanceylance:** AHSJDKFL TRYING??? I WAS /SUCCEEDING/, DICKFACE

**kogayne:** is that why two people making out is called “sucking face”

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**hunkerdunker:** i,

**mattata:** THE LANCE EFFECT

**lanceylance:** i’m so proud of u i might cry

**carrierpidgeon:** hey quick situation update, every member of gsa is rumored to be getting detention

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^ instead of giving detention to every participant, zarkon’s going after the organizers

**lanceylance:** oh bet, can’t wait for my club to get shut down

**allurable:** that won’t happen.

**allurable:** expect an investigation into keith’s harassment incident to begin by this afternoon.

**allurable:** also, on the off chance gsa /does/ get shut down, no one said you can’t host it after school at someone’s house

**allurable:** my father and i would be more than willing to help

**lanceylance:** MY QUEEN THANK YOU

**allurable:** also, if he attempts to give lance and keith detention, make it abundantly clear that they had nothing to do with this. if he persists, let me know. i have to go now, i have important matters to attend to with shiro and matt! :)

**kogayne:** Y’ALL DID NOT HAVE TO RISK DETENTION FOR ME

**hunkerdunker:** you’re one of us, yes we did

**kogayne:** what the fuck is this feeling i’m experiencing right now

**lanceylance:** it’s called platonic love

**kogayne:** gross

**kogayne:** i kinda like it

**lanceylance:** /holy shit he’s so far gone/

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**allurable:** lunchtime check-in. how are we doing, kiddies?

**carrierpidgeon:** LISTEN YOU’RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** ZARKON CALLED ALL OF GSA DOWN, RIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE AND KEITH WERE THERE TOO BUT THEY WERE LIKE, IN THE BACK, AND EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO SHIELD THEM IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT THEN GET THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M ABOUT TO MARCH MY ASS TO HIS DESK AND CLAIM FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WHOLE SHABANG BECAUSE TECHNICALLY I’M THE ONE WHO ORGANIZED IT

**lanceylance:** she looked like a 5’2” can of whoopass

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT THEN

**carrierpidgeon:** T H E N

**carrierpidgeon:** LACTOSE INTOLERANT WALKS UP TO HIS DAD’S DESK WITH HIS SQUAD BEHIND HIM AND THE ROOM IS DEAD. SILENT.

**carrierpidgeon:** WHICH, MIND YOU, IS DIFFICULT TO ACHIEVE, BECAUSE IT’S A CRAMPED OFFICE WITH LIKE SOME 40 KIDS CRAMMED IN THERE, SPILLING INTO THE MAIN OFFICE

**carrierpidgeon:** SHAY YOU NEED TO ACT THIS OUT WITH ME I’LL BE LACTOSE YOU BE ZARKON

**shayfromstatefarm:** /SON? YOU WERE A PART OF THIS?/

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU CALLED DOWN ALL OF GSA, DID YOU NOT?

**shayfromstatefarm:** AND HOW DID YOU GET ROPED INTO THIS? 

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY, FATHER, I ORGANIZED IT.

**mattata:** HOLY FUCKING /WHAT/

**carrierpidgeon:** (SHUT UP WE’RE NOT DONE)

**shayfromstatefarm:** /YOU?/ /YOU/ ORGANIZED THIS?

**carrierpidgeon:** OH BUT OF COURSE

**shayfromstatefarm:** AND WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO DO THAT?

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU’VE BEEN HARASSING THESE STUDENTS FOR FAR TOO LONG, FATHER.  

**shayfromstatefarm:** [MOUTH OPENING AND CLOSING BECAUSE I’M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO SAY WITHOUT HARASSING THE 40-SOME-ODD STUDENTS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME]

**carrierpidgeon:** FUNNY, YOU SEEM TO HAVE NO PROBLEM HARASSING PEOPLE ONE-ON-ONE, BUT NOW THAT YOUR SON IS STANDING IN FRONT OF AN ARMY, YOU’RE SILENT

**shayfromstatefarm:** [SEETHING, QUIETLY, TO LOTOR]: YOU AND I WILL DISCUSS THIS AT ANOTHER TIME. [RAISING VOICE]: THE REST OF YOU ARE DISMISSED. GET BACK TO CLASS.

**takashmeoutside:** does zarkon know his kid isn’t straight?

**hunkerdunker:** he probably has some idea, but i don’t think lotion’s really specified

**hunkerdunker:** in any capacity, he just saved pidge’s butt

**hunkerdunker:** because you /know/ he wouldn’t go easy on her

**kogayne:** ...i’m wondering if i should talk to him about freshman year, and see if we can like...sort that out

**kogayne:** ...i mean, we /were/ freshman

**kogayne:** and he just took a massive risk

**kogayne:** ...should i?

**takashmeoutside:** maybe not during the school day??

**kogayne:** there’s a football game tonight, he’s usually at those

**mattata:** maybe also don’t do it alone???

**kogayne:** i don’t think i’d be able to, even if i wanted to

**kogayne:** it’s gonna be cold, do you know what lance is like during cold weather

**kogayne:** he’s like 100x clingier than usual

**lanceylance:** you’re like a human furnace shut up and let me love you

**lanceylance:** and aLSO I’M NOT THE ONLY CLINGY ONE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP

**hunkerdunker:** okay that’s enough you two, time for physics

**lanceylance:** if we’re doing another lab i’m leaving

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** half the kids at the football field are still talking about this morning

**lanceylance:** at least twelve people just congratulated me on evading detention

**carrierpidgeon:** did you tell them you didn’t organize it

**lanceylance:** pfffft and take away the glory i’m receiving???? no way!!!!

**kogayne:** i did

**lanceylance:** -_-

**lanceylance:** oh shoot there’s lotor, keith wants to go talk to him, we’ll update you guys soon

**hunkerdunker:** GOOD LUCK!!!

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**kogayne:** WELL

**kogayne:** HE WAS STALKING ME FOR SEVERAL REASONS, NONE OF WHICH HAVE TO DO WITH RELATIONSHIP INTENTIONS LIKE I’D ASSUMED

**lanceylance:** i’m fucking dying

**kogayne:** HE WANTED TO KNOW HOW I MANAGED TO BE AT THE TOP OF THE CLASS WITH MY “ATTITUDE PROBLEMS” AND “PERPETUAL LACK OF MOTIVATION”

**kogayne:** AND HE ALSO WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD A THING FOR LANCE

**kogayne:** I WAS, APPARENTLY, NOT SUBTLE IN MY PINING FRESHMAN YEAR

**lanceylance:** YOU WERE PINING THAT EARLY 

**kogayne:** YES YOU KNOW THIS

**lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** ANYWAY, HE SAYS WE HAVE A “LOOSE ALLIANCE” NOW, NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, HE JUST WANTED TO SPITE HIS DAD, HE HAD NO INTENTION OF TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY WITH US

**lanceylance:** it would’v been a lot less intimidating when he said this, but acxa and ezor were standing behind him and they scare me

**lanceylance:** honestly why do people say we’re the senior power couple, it’s clearly them

**carrierpidgeon:** bc people actually like you

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^ lotor’s squad keeps to themselves

**hunkerdunker:** AND ACXA AND EZOR DON’T FLIRT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND KISS IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS, YOU NASTIES

**lanceylance:** i want to broadcast my love for keith kogane to the entire world

**kogayne:** that’s it i’m cutting off your heat source

**lanceylance:** GET BACK HERE WITH MY BLANKET ASSHOLE I NEED THAT

_ (1) video from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** there they go, up the hill

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaand of course lance fell

**hunkerdunker:** i’m laughing more at him grabbing keith’s ankle on the way down

**mattata:** so that would explain the unholy shrieking shiro, allura, and i are hearing from the bleachers

**mattata:** ah, young love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *i don't wanna go too far with lotor in this fic yet bc i wanna see where he goes in canon first tbh*  
> i wanna write a saturday chapter but i wanna write stars go down so i can have the next chapter up in my week timeframe but also my teachers went batshit with the homework this weekend um????? hhhhhhh AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


	17. Cryptid-Hunting Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith and pidge go on their saturday cryptid-hunting trip. things go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this gets really intense out of nowhere  
> also i think i'm gonna write a oneshot for this chapter bc honestly i need that in my life

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** you all ready to go??

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I AM

**kogayne:** I’M LEAVING NOW I’LL BE THERE IN 5

**carrierpidgeon:** YESSSSS 

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** PIDGE AND I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING, IF YOU DON’T HEAR FROM ME AGAIN I LOVE YOU A LOT HERE ARE SELFIES TO REMEMBER ME BY

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

_ (4) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** should i be concerned

**takashmeoutside:** do you know how many times he’s sent /me/ things like that

**takashmeoutside:** he’s overly excited he’s fine

**takashmeoutside:** just be glad this isn’t last year, when those fucking clowns were running around and keith insisted on going on even /more/ cryptid-hunting expeditions

**takashmeoutside:** with the sole purpose of /finding/ a clown to fight

**mattata:** ah, the great clown panic of 2016, also known as november 8th

**hunkerdunker:** don’t

**allurable:** HHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG I’M STILL PERPETUALLY ANGRY

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway hey keith pidge can one of you please check in with the group chat and assure us that you’re still alive

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** uhhh guys??

**mattata:** $20 bucks they’re playing a prank

**allurable:** twenty dollars bucks

**mattata:** hush

**allurable:** don’t tell me what to do holt

**mattata:** don’t tell me what to do altea

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe i’m dating /both of them/

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith or pidge can one of you answer /someone/ in this group chat

**shayfromstatefarm:** hellooooooooooooooo

**lanceylance:** KEITH KOGANE IT’S BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF SINCE I LAST HEARD FROM YOU

**shayfromstatefarm:** do you think their phones died, maybe???

**takashmeoutside:** keith always has at least 3 backup chargers, and i know pidge owns at least seven

**takashmeoutside:** you’ve never seen their hunting gear, they actually take this seriously

**lanceylance:** KEITH KOGANE CAN YOU TAKE MY TEXTS SERIOUSLY

**hunkerdunker:** pidge too

**lanceylance:** KEITH I HAVE  A N X I E T Y  AND THIS IS NOT HELPING

**allurable:** if they’re out in the woods, maybe they dropped their phones and lost them??? or dropped them in a lake somewhere??

**mattata:** the forest they frequent /does/ have a lake…

**lanceylance:** WHAT IF THEY DROWNED OH MY GOD

**hunkerdunker:** buddy, /breathe/

**hunkerdunker:** i really don’t think they drowned

**lanceylance:** WELL I WOULDN’T KNOW BECAUSE /NEITHER OF THEM WILL CHECK IN/

**allurable:** well if they’re both cryptid fanatics, maybe they turned their phones off, because the signals interfere with the cryptids??

**takashmeoutside:** they might not have service, there are dead zones out in the woods

**lanceylance:** last time i was in the woods i had better service than i do at school

**lanceylance:** holy shit what if they got jumped or kidnapped

**lanceylance:** WHAT IF THEY’RE DEAD

**hunkerdunker:** lance i’m coming over

**lanceylance:** KEITH OR PIDGE /ANSWER THE FUCKING GROUP CHAT/

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**lanceylance:** HELLO???

**lanceylance:** IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF PRANK YOU TWO ARE PLAYING THEN IT’S NOT FUNNY

**lanceylance:** KEITH I’M ON THEE VERGRO OF A PAINC ATTKC

**lanceylance:** KEEEEITH

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** babe it’s been three hours

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** keith please

 

**_mattata > carrierpidgeon_ **

**mattata:** hey gremlin answer the fucking phone

**mattata:** seriously, you or keith needs to check in

**mattata:** katie

**mattata:** katie anne holt.

 

**_mattata > lanceylance_ **

**mattata:** it’s been four hours

**lanceylance:** i’m so scared right now

**lanceylance:** he never goes without answering my texts this long

**lanceylance:** he knows i get freaked out really easily by shit like this

**mattata:** is hunk still over?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** he kinda had to pull me out of a panic attack

**mattata:** i’m so sorry man

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** keith, where are you??

**takashmeoutside:** answer the phone

**takashmeoutside:** keith?

**takashmeoutside:** seriously. if you and pidge are pulling a prank on us, then it’s going too far.

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**takashmeoutside:** it’s been four and a half hours, even if their phones were dead or busted, they should’ve come back by now

**mattata:** does anyone know anything about where they were going or what they were doing today??

**takashmeoutside:** no, but keith left his computer on, i’m gonna go look through it and see what i can find

**mattata:** okay, because i’m doing the same on pidge’s, and she’s got some kinda software that links her phone, camera, and computer, to transfer files and stuff wirelessly

**mattata:** the last thing she submitted was shortly after keith texted lance, but it’s all blurry, it looks like they’re running

**allurable:** can you trace the location?

**mattata:** give me a sec

**mattata:** OH FUCKING SHIT

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**mattata:** you know how the hiking trails that are like, twenty minutes from here have some really bad trails, and some are completely off-limits now bc the town doesn’t bother paying to fix them

**takashmeoutside:** tell me they didn’t

**mattata:** i’d be lying but fine they didn’t

**takashmeoutside:** fuck

**takashmeoutside:** this is so bad

**mattata:** that signal went off hours ago

**allurable:** okay, okay, timeline

**allurable:** when did they leave here?

**mattata:** keith picked up pidge at about 10, the ride is 20 minutes without traffic, so let’s round to a half hour

**lanceylance:** then keith texted me at 11:30

**hunkerdunker:** that’s already a solid hour of hiking

**mattata:** pidge’s last known signal is timestamped around 11:45

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s already 4:15

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ve only got about 2 hours till sunset

**takashmeoutside:** we need to call the police, and we need to get out there and look for them

**mattata:** it’s been four and a half hours since we last heard from them

**mattata:** they could’ve gotten off to somewhere else entirely

**mattata:** ...whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich is exactly why we need to look

**allurable:** alright. shiro, get on the phone with the police. as for the rest of us, we need to get to the woods

**mattata:** i can take you and shiro

**hunkerdunker:** i’m already at lance’s, i can grab him and then swing over to get shay

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe i’m spending saturday night tracking my cousin and boyfriend’s little sister down in the middle of the woods

**mattata:** let’s not forget it was because they were cryptid-hunting

**lanceylance:** ENOUGH ABOUT THAT THEY’RE PROBABLY HURT LET’S GO

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**takashmeoutside:** beta group, check-in

**mattata:** hunk, shay, and i are alive

**mattata:** how are you, alpha team

**lanceylance:** TRYING NOT TO LOSE MY SHIT BUT GOOD OTHERWISE

**lanceylance:** THE PARK RANGER IS FRIENDLY

**allurable:** we’re all accounted for

**takashmeoutside:** do all of you have the center meeting spot circled on your maps

**hunkerdunker:** yes sir

**takashmeoutside:** good. we meet back there at 8 PM, or as soon as we find them

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** ican’t do htis i’m gognan losir  ti

**takashmeoutside:** we found keith’s phone near a dropoff

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh no…

**takashmeoutside:** there’s evidence they fell down. we’re getting down there now.

**hunkerdunker:** where on the map are you

**hunkerdunker:** if you have a lead, it’s unlikely keith and pidge got separated

**takashmeoutside:** red sector, there’s a break near trail 4

**hunkerdunker:** gotcha, we’ll be there soon

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** matt

**mattata:** yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** do you remember what the last photo pidge took looked like

**shayfromstatefarm:** because i’m wondering if they weren’t running

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m wondering if they were falling and she took that photo midfall by accident

**mattata:** ...fuckc fuck UFUCKF FUCK YOU’RE PROBABYL IRUTHT

**mattata:** HERE I SAVED IT TO MY PHONE BEFORE I LEFT

_ (1) photo from  _ **_mattata_ **

**lanceylance:** thatl ooksd loike the cligf alright

**hunkerdunker:** lance, buddy, do you need to stop?

**lanceylance:** ivgeo gtotta gind him

**hunkerdunker:** okay, you gotta breathe

**hunkerdunker:** we’re nearly to your location, i think i can actually hear shiro

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep thanks for that yell allura we hear you

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**mattata:** hlyshitsohlthospyljshitl

**allurable:** matt, i need your keys, i’ll meet you all at the hospital

**hunkerdunker:** ditto for me and shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ll be there asap

**hunkerdunker:** are they letting lance in the ambulance or does he need a ride with us

**takashmeoutside:** they’re letting him in

**takashmeoutside:** which, seeing as he’s on the verge of fainting, might not be a bad idea

**allurable:** watch out for him too

**takashmeoutside:** will do

**hunkerdunker:** see you guys soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so that break between events there is when they're all together irl so they don't need to text  
> don't worry gaps will be filled later on and in the oneshot but the oneshot won't be necessary to read  
> also someone yell at me to work on stars go down, chapter 15 has been moving at a snail's pace


	18. The Author Enjoys The Sound Of The Word "Concussed"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we find out keith and pidge's injuries  
> as for what happened??? lmao what's an explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CALCULUS IS SO STRESSFUL  
> HIGH SCHOOL IS SO STRESSFUL I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO THIS MONTH I'M GONNA FLING MYSELF INTO THE SUN

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**hunkerdunker:** they’re not letting shay, allura, or me visit this late, can we get a status update and also know how lance got in

 **takashmeoutside:** lance was having separation anxiety

 **takashmeoutside:** and insisting that aside from me, he was the closest thing keith had to family

 **takashmeoutside:** as far as injuries go, keith’s concussed

 **takashmeoutside:** and the gash on his leg was deeper than it looked, so that’s another two weeks for recovery, assuming he doesn’t get an infection that worsens things

 **takashmeoutside:** not to mention he sprained his wrist

 **takashmeoutside:** and then there’s the matter of the other bruises and scrapes

 **mattata:** what the fuck

 **mattata:** katie’s just got a broken arm, some bruising, and some scrapes

 **takashmeoutside:** idk man, keith’s too out of it to properly describe what happened

 **mattata:** katie flat-out refuses to say anything

 **mattata:** she’s too shaken up about it

 **takashmeoutside:** the authorities are opening an investigation and need their responses as soon as they’re available

 **takashmeoutside:** right now they think foul play was a factor in this

 **lanceylance:** hey can we do this in a different group chat

 **lanceylance:** keith may be out of it but he knows when the group chat is going wild

 **lanceylance:** and i don’t want him freaking out when he finally gets back on his phone

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**allurable:** foul play?

 **takashmeoutside:** some of keith’s bruising didn’t look like bruising from falling down or smashing into rocks

 **takashmeoutside:** it looked like someone hit him

 **lanceylance:** W H O  H I T  H I M

 **takashmeoutside:** we don’t know

 **takashmeoutside:** the authorities could be wrong

 **mattata:** are they releasing keith tonight? they’re gonna release katie within the hour

 **takashmeoutside:** no, they’re keeping him overnight for observation

 **lanceylance:** they’re gonna make us leave :(

 **mattata:** when they leave, kashi, can u help me and allura with katie?

 **hunkerdunker:** kashi?

 **lanceylance:** keith isn’t here to make fun of him but i can’t bring myself to do it

 **shayfromstatefarm:** put your phone down and get some rest

 **shayfromstatefarm:** spend your remaining time at keith’s side before they make you go home

 **lanceylance:** okay

 **mattata:** yeah, i’ve gotta go anyway, i’ve gotta fill out stuff for katie

 **mattata:** when my parents fly back in tomorrow they’re going to have a fit

 **lanceylance:** mine already know what happened and they’ve already offered to make food for your family

 **lanceylance:** and keith

 **lanceylance:** and i’m gonna go now

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**takashmeoutside:** sunday mornings feel weird without keith here to demand bacon

 **lanceylance:** sundays feel weird without good morning snaps :(

 **lanceylance:** or keith sneaking out at 5 AM to greet me with coffee :((((

 **mattata:** okay so i got pretty much nothing out of katie, and we’ve been talking for half an hour

 **mattata:** she told me something tho and i’m really concerned about it

 **allurable:** hey maybe don’t be cryptic

 **mattata:** she said keith saved her life

 **takashmeoutside:** w h a t

 **mattata:** she said “if keith wasn’t there i would be dead” and now she’s spacing out

 **hunkerdunker:** oh my god

 **shayfromstatefarm:** what the /hell happened/ to them

 **mattata:** katie just said she won’t talk about it without keith

 **mattata:** she needs him to fill some gaps

 **takashmeoutside:** well, i’m about to leave to go see him, but i don’t think his doctor is going to want him to do any brain-intensive activity, like thinking

 **lanceylance:** can u pick me up i wanna see him

 **takashmeoutside:** yep

 **lanceylance:** thank u

 **takashmeoutside:** omw np

 **allurable:** alright, while those two go bring keith home, and matt takes care of pidge, i’m going to be taking care of the zarkon situation with my father

 **hunkerdunker:** it’s sunday

 **allurable:** JUSTICE DOESN’T SLEEP

 **hunkerdunker:** fair point

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ...so, hunk, i guess it’s just you and me

 **shayfromstatefarm:** wanna go bowling

 **hunkerdunker:** ...yeah sure

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’m driving, be over in 20

 **hunkerdunker:** i’ll prep some of my Sunday Special coffee

 **shayfromstatefarm:** <3

 **hunkerdunker:** <3

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so we have mostly good news

 **allurable:** mostly?

 **takashmeoutside:** most of the negative news pertains to keith

 **lanceylance:** and by extension, me

 **takashmeoutside:** ...yes, anyway,

 **lanceylance:** RUDE

 **takashmeoutside:** ANYWAY

 **takashmeoutside:** as you can see, things improved a lot more overnight than we thought, because lance is in a good mood

 **allurable:** CAN YOU MAYBE ACTUALLY TELL US WHAT’S UP WITH KEITH

 **takashmeoutside:** okay

 **takashmeoutside:** he’s concussed, and it’s not as bad as we thought

 **takashmeoutside:** he needs a week or so for recovery, and while he doesn’t need to miss school, he does need to cut down on work time significantly

 **mattata:** isn’t he taking 5 AP classes

 **lanceylance:** (don’t tell his teachers but i’m gonna do half of his work for him and help him so he doesn’t fall behind)

 **mattata:** when i was out sick for a week senior year shiro laughed at me while i drowned in my overdue ap assignments

 **takashmeoutside:** and i regret nothing

 **takashmeoutside:** his leg’s not infected, and the damage wasn’t too bad (again, with everything happening, we thought it was worse, especially with how deep the cut went)

 **takashmeoutside:** he might have some pain while he walks, for now, but he’s expected to fully recover within about two weeks

 **lanceylance:** i now have an excuse to carry him everywhere

 **takashmeoutside:** his wrist sprain’s gonna be a week or two

 **lanceylance:** so basically keith isn’t gonna die and it’s a lot better than it looked last night

 **allurable:** i mean, it /was/ dark, and they were all dirty and beaten up

 **lanceylance:** except i can’t see his cute face at school as often and can’t bombard him with texts bc he needs to rest his brain

 **allurable:** you’re so attached to him

 **lanceylance:** i  l o v e  him

 **hunkerdunker:** remember when we all wanted lance to settle down and stop flirting with girls

 **hunkerdunker:** well

 **hunkerdunker:** i don’t think this is what any of us pictured

 **takashmeoutside:** actually keith did

 **lanceylance:** HIS PINING ASS  <3

 **shayfromstatefarm:** who’s gonna say it for pidge

 **hunkerdunker:** i’ve got it

 **hunkerdunker:** ahem,

 **hunkerdunker:** Disgusting

 **lanceylance:** EXCUSE ME I SAW THE EARLIER TEXTS WITH YOU AND SHAY

 **lanceylance:** GO BACK TO YOUR BOWLING I HOPE YOU BOTH LOSE

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we’re against each other, someone /has/ to win

 **lanceylance:** I KNOW WHAT I SAID

 **lanceylance:** I DO NOT NEED THIS SLANDER

 **allurable:** ,,,, ANYWAY I’M GONNA GO WORK ON THE ZARKON SITUATION HAVE A LOVELY SUNDAY

 **hunkerdunker:** work on a sunday?

 **allurable:** JUSTICE DOESN’T REST, HUNK

 **shayfromstatefarm:** she’s not wrong

 **shayfromstatefarm:** have fun

 **lanceylance:** YES, YOU GO GIRL, MAKE THEM PAYYYY

 **takashmeoutside:** did you sleep

 **takashmeoutside:** like at all

 **lanceylance:** I’M GOING TO AVOID THAT QUESTION AND CUDDLE WITH MY BOYFRIEND GOODBYE

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**mattata:** i leave for five minutes to check on katie and i miss a lance roast

 **mattata:** dammit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao y'all really thought i was gonna go dark and deep here????  
>  ~~i mean it's still a possibility~~ pfffffft please everyone is suffering enough over in the [deceit so natural trilogy](http://archiveofourown.org/series/767406) i need somewhere for the paladins to be cute little shits
> 
> ALSO I FINALLY [DANCES AROUND THE ROOM] HAVE INSPIRATION [ACCIDENTALLY BREAKS A LAMP] FOR STARS GO DOWN [TRIPS ON A RUG] AFTER LIKE A WEEK OF BURNOUT [SCREAMS] I'M ALREADY APPROXIMATELY [TRIPS ON THE BROKEN SHARDS OF LAMP] HALFWAY THROUGH [JUMPS ONTO ANOTHER TABLE] CHAPTER 16 [LEAPS DOWN] AND HAVE THE OPENING [RUNNING AGGRESSIVELY AROUND THE HOUSE] TO CHAPTER 17 STARTED [SLIDES ON THE WOOD FLOORS IN MY SOCKS] AND I'M RUNNING ON A TOTAL OF 4 HOURS OF SLEEP IN THE LAST TWENTY-FOOOOOUUUURRRRR
> 
> K BYE


	19. bears???? really lance????????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge had a shitty day at school, and the others guess at what the hell could've happened to keith and pidge in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanna try and get another chapter of this out tonight so let's see what happens  
>  **also there's implied/referenced sexual harassment that is then explained here just be warned**

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I SHOULD’VE STAYED HOME TODAY

**carrierpidgeon:** EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ARM

**carrierpidgeon:** AND SOMEHOW THEY’VE CONNECTED LANCE’S DEPRESSION AND KEITH’S ABSENCE TO MY CAST

**allurable:** lance’s depression??? wait was he depressed or Depressed

**hunkerdunker:** Depressed. he moped through the entire day

**shayfromstatefarm:** he missed keith

**hunkerdunker:** thace almost sent him to guidance

**lanceylance:** shhh not about me right now what happened pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** I JUST WANTED TO BE LEFT ALOOOOONE

**carrierpidgeon:** LITERALLY

**carrierpidgeon:** SOME FUQBOI FROM CIVICS LEANS OVER AND MAKES THE NASTIEST JOKE AT MY EXPENSE

**mattata:** i want names i will kill

**lanceylance:** ^^^^

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^^^!!!

**takashmeoutside:** care to explain

**carrierpidgeon:** IT WAS A MASTURBATION JOKE SHIRO

**carrierpidgeon:** I WANTED TO  D I E

**carrierpidgeon:** I STOOD UP

**carrierpidgeon:** AND LITERALLY  S H O U T E D  IN THIS KID’S FACE

**carrierpidgeon:** “I’M AN ASEXUAL, DICKWAD, AND EVEN IF I WANTED TO TURN MYSELF ON, THE LAST THING I’D EVER THINK OF IS YOUR FACE. DONALD TRUMP HAS MORE SEX APPEAL THAN YOU DO, AND HE’S A CRUSTY TANGERINE.”

**takashmeoutside:** holy shit

**allurable:** [casually files this away as evidence of zarkon and morvok fostering an unhealthy environment for students, especially lgbtq+ students]

**lanceylance:** i’m sitting with keith right now and he just asked me to go get a knife so just to let you know he’s on your side

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean, he got sent to the office

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT

**carrierpidgeon:** THESE ASSHOLES WANT ME TO TELL A STORY I’M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH

**carrierpidgeon:** AND THAT I DON’T FULLY REMEMBER SOME OF THE DETAILS OF

**mattata:** we’re not gonna push you, sis

**mattata:** whenever you and keith are ready, we’re ready

**allurable:** matthew holt??? not being an asshole???? a miracle

**mattata:** i’m being confused for shiro and i won’t stand this slander

**takashmeoutside:** eXCUSE ME

**mattata:** SICK FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK, TAKASHI

**takashmeoutside:** YOU SIGNED UP FOR THOSE COURSES

**mattata:** UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT I WOULDN’T GET A DEBILITATING FLU IN THE MIDDLE OF FEBRUARY

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_carrierpidgeon, hunkerdunker, shayfromstatefarm,_ ** _ and  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ to  _ **_PIDGE PROTECTION SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** so while they’re fighting

**lanceylance:** you wanna give us some names

**carrierpidgeon:** why is keith here if he’s not allowed to use his phone today

**lanceylance:** because when he recovers he’s going to show your kind civics friends his very cool knife collection

**shayfromstatefarm:** a new up-close and personal exhibition

**hunkerdunker:** with volunteers to try out some cool stunts

**lanceylance:** keith would like to add that the volunteers don’t have to be willing

**carrierpidgeon:** AHSHJDKSLFL CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THE OFFICE FOUND THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS I WANNA CRY  <3

**lanceylance:** pidge? with feelings?

**hunkerdunker:** g a s p

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah i know i’m just as surprised as you guys are

**carrierpidgeon:** also lance can you ask keith when a good day is for him to Talk about things

**lanceylance:** keith says wednesday, his house

**carrierpidgeon:** ...yeah, i think that’ll be good enough

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** brogane house. wednesday. 3 PM.

**carrierpidgeon:** the cryptkids would like to explain what happened.

**takashmeoutside:** are you sure

**mattata:** u comfortable with doing that, katie??

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah and keith is too

**takashmeoutside:** IS KEITH ON HIS PHONE

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH KOGANE YOU KNOW WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID

**lanceylance:** if you would walk literally right into the next room you could see that i am, in fact, reading texts from our other group chat out loud

**lanceylance:** i am a responsible boyfriend who wants keith’s noggin on right

**lanceylance:** keith just told me to tell the group chat that he finds me “insufferable” but he’s smiling and looking all cute and stuff so i don’t know how seriously i can take his words

**allurable:** wait you have a different group chat

**lanceylance:** everyone in this group chat is in at least 20 other group chats made up only of varying members from this one don’t even try to deny it

**lanceylance:** also keith says he’s serious

**lanceylance:** however,

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** these pictures say otherwi

**takashmeoutside:** i think keith just threw lance’s phone across the room

**takashmeoutside:** does lance have an otterbox

**hunkerdunker:** fortunately, yes

**hunkerdunker:** after he broke his fifth phone (bc he refused to use a case bc it “ruined the aesthetic”) he caved and bought one

**lanceylance:** I AM BEING EXPOSED

**lanceylance:** and yes keith did indeed throw my phone

**carrierpidgeon:** so is everyone down for wednesday at the broganes’

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**lanceylance:** yes x 2

**hunkerdunker:** i’m free

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ll be there

**allurable:** count me in

**mattata:** hhhmmmmmmm i dunnooooo

**carrierpidgeon:** MATT

**mattata:** jk ofc i’ll be there

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**mattata:** not to be insensitive

**takashmeoutside:** oh no

**mattata:** but what do you guys think happened to them

**takashmeoutside:** based on keith’s bruising? a deliberate attack

**lanceylance:** isn’t deliberate a little harsh

**lanceylance:** i was thinking a bear attack

**allurable:** bears? /really????/

**shayfromstatefarm:** maybe they got chased by an animal and got lost??? and then fell off a trail????? keith /did/ tell lance they found something

**hunkerdunker:** just based on all of our evidence so far, i’m thinking they were attacked but not deliberately

**lanceylance:** so a /bear/

**hunkerdunker:** /no,/

**hunkerdunker:** i feel like pidge wouldn’t be so shaken up by a bear attack

**hunkerdunker:** and she said keith saved her life

**hunkerdunker:** and keith’s got bruises that look like they were made by humans

**takashmeoutside:** all of those things could still point to a deliberate attack

**hunkerdunker:** yeah, but who outside of this group knew that they were going cryptid-hunting this weekend?

**lanceylance:** paul morvok took keith’s phone and tried to harass me, what if he went through keith’s messages

**allurable:** if it’s him i will actually march down to your school first thing tomorrow morning and ream zarkon and morvok myself

**hunkerdunker:** i don’t think that, as much of a scumbag as he is, paul morvok would waste his weekend stalking keith and pidge in the woods

**lanceylance:** you never know

**lanceylance:** maybe he got wind of the investigation

**hunkerdunker:** i’m going to be right, just you wait

**lanceylance:** i’m right

**hunkerdunker:** keep telling urself that buddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (in regards to the donald trump jab i fucking hate that crusty piece of shit)
> 
> tomorrow the freshmen, sophomores, and juniors are taking psats and in the past the seniors have come in late but this year they're making us come in the whole day which SUCKS but i'm hoping i can knock out homework in the cafeteria and free up my afternoon to write, since i'm missing four classes and i _do_ have my study hall
> 
> the goal of this fanfic rn is a chapter (1000 word minimum) per day but we'll see


	20. nobody's sleeping and everyone's guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's exactly what the chapter title says: a typical high school experience when ur friend group is nothing but ~drama~ and anxiety!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the last 48 hours i've gotten approximately 6 hours of sleep and monday i was so delirious that i was having a giggle breakdown during physics and study hall and my friends were EXTREMELY concerned abt my health bc i kept taking the edge off with coffee and that was,,,, not the best idea  
> anyway here's the chapter [strums guitar]

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** tuesdays without keith are just as weird as mondays without keith

**kogayne:** i’ll be back tomorrow

**lanceylance:** PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN YOUR BRAIN IS SUPPOSED TO BE RESTING

**kogayne:** but

**lanceylance:** SHIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**takashmeoutside:** i have his phone now

**takashmeoutside:** are you coming over again

**lanceylance:** if you see someone naruto running down the street in 2 seconds that’s me

**allurable:** w h a

_ (1) video from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** [long-suffering sigh] i already gave him my blessing

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t take it back

**mattata:** you act like i didn’t do the same thing in high school

**mattata:** while you /cheered me on/

**carrierpidgeon:** hold up, blessing??????

**allurable:** as in, marriage???

**allurable:** isn’t it a bit early

**hunkerdunker:** DID THEY ELOPE AND NOT TELL US

**carrierpidgeon:** I CALLED IT BITCHES

**shayfromstatefarm:** why are you both like this

**shayfromstatefarm:** (but forreal when was the wedding)

**takashmeoutside:** ajsjdfldl blessing to /DATE/ KEITH

**lanceylance:** 1\. rude

**lanceylance:** 2\. it’s only a matter of time before i get that marriage blessing

**lanceylance:** when we get older i’m gonna husband keith so hard

**shayfromstatefarm:** actually he turns 18 in like 2 weeks right?? and u turn 18 in july???

**lanceylance:** yes

**shayfromstatefarm:** you can legally get married without parental consent once you turn 18, except in nebraska and mississippi

**lanceylance:** but then we can’t get drunk at our wedding bc we’re not 21

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO MARRY KEITH BEFORE YOU’RE 21

**lanceylance:** keith says bc we are

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH CAN’T GET MARRIED BEFORE ME

**lanceylance:** keith said, and i quote, “until the law changes, i’m getting married before you”

**allurable:** i will personally change the law so shiro matt and i can get married and then keith and lance can get married

**lanceylance:** WHAT A GEM

**carrierpidgeon:** you all disgust me

**shayfromstatefarm:** excuse

**carrierpidgeon:** you all* disgust me

**carrierpidgeon:** *except for hunk and shay

**mattata:** wait so who’re gonna be the best men at keith and lance’s wedding in august

**takashmeoutside:** tell keith he’s forbidden to get married until after college

**lanceylance:** keith said “try and stop me” and also “if shiro keeps acting like this he’s no longer my best man”

**takashmeoutside:** I

**takashmeoutside:** ….

**takashmeoutside:** HNNNNNNNN KEITH WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**lanceylance:** keith said, and i quote, “¯\\_(ツ)_/¯“

**lanceylance:** also, i would like to add that i would be a /great/ husband to marry early, keith should cuff me for life while he still can

**shayfromstatefarm:** did you just imply you might break up with him

**lanceylance:** i mean i could’ve implied an early death

**hunkerdunker:** ,,,,lance are you having a Day

**lanceylance:** I’M BEING REALISTIC NO I’M ACTUALLY OKAY TODAY

**lanceylance:** anyway i would never break up with keith, he’s so precious, look at captain doofus over here being all cute n shit

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i just heard keith groaning through the wall

**lanceylance:** ;)))))))

**takashmeoutside:** LANCE I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE

**lanceylance:** but then keith would get pouty and run off by himself while he’s concussed, just to go after me

**takashmeoutside:** the worst part about that sentence is that it’s 100% factual

**lanceylance:** i know my boyfriend so well  <3

**lanceylance:** mmmm my boyfriend i love thinkin bout the fact that keith is that

**lanceylance:** I LOVE KEITH KOGANE

**hunkerdunker:** shiro can u go make sure lance isn’t like, high or something

**lanceylance:** I AM A RESPONSIBLE BOY, HUNK, HOW DARE

**hunkerdunker:** you’re in a weirdly good mood today

**lanceylance:** keith and pidge aren’t dead in the woods and no one was harassed at school today and i don’t have homework and aaaaaaaaaaaa i’m holding keith right now all is right with the world

**carrierpidgeon:** seriously what the fuck is up with this

**allurable:** does anyone know how much sleep he got last night

**lanceylance:** 2 hours and 17 minutes!!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** aaaand that explains it

**allurable:** WHY WERE YOU UP SO LATE

**lanceylance:** thinkin bout keeeeeeith

**takashmeoutside:** keith if you’re reading lance’s phone like you’re not supposed to be doing then i need you to take it and throw it across the room and both of you get some sleep

**lanceylance:** heY WAIT A MI

**takashmeoutside:** from the crash i just heard i think keith missed the wall and nailed a lamp

**takashmeoutside:** oh well

 

**_revenge squad_ **

**hunkerdunker:** does anyone else think lance was probably up late w his anxiety

**allurable:** oh so i’m not the only one

**shayfromstatefarm:** he was probably stressed out thinking about,,,,,, tomorrow

**carrierpidgeon:** ….DID YOU GUYS DISCUSS SOMETHING IN A SEPARATE GROUP CHAT

**mattata:** no

**hunkerdunker:** no

**takashmeoutside:** no

**shayfromstatefarm:** no

**allurable:** no

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re all horrible liars

**carrierpidgeon:** everyone has separate group chats with everyone lance confirmed it yesterday

**hunkerdunker:** i’m sorry but that statement is funny bc lance isn’t in this group chat

**hunkerdunker:** and it’s even funnier bc u started this group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYWAY

**carrierpidgeon:** lance has every right to be anxious and tbh…………..he might lose his cool

**mattata:** oh no

**carrierpidgeon:** so will the rest of you,,,

**takashmeoutside:** pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** what

**takashmeoutside:** are /you/ okay

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t like thinking about it

**mattata:** okay, then listen to me:

**mattata:** put your phone down, go do some homework or play a video game or something, i’ll even come kick ur ass in a video game if u want

**mattata:** and if u find tomorrow that u don’t wanna talk about it, it’ll be okay

**carrierpidgeon:** the sooner this is over with, the better

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s,,, gotta happen tomorrow

**carrierpidgeon:** assuming keith is still down to go through with it

**takashmeoutside:** he still is, as far as i know

**carrierpidgeon:** besides, the cops need to know what happened

**takashmeoutside:** need to know as in “they have a right to know bc it’s a necessary feature of the investigation” or need to know as in “they’re gonna have more work to do bc of what happens in the story”

**carrierpidgeon:** unfortunately, number two

**shayfromstatefarm:** :(

 

**_takashmeoutside > mattata_ **

**takashmeoutside:** when did we become dads

**mattata:** well, it starts when a man and woman love each other very much,

**takashmeoutside:** m a t t

**mattata:** [long sigh] i dunno man, this whole situation???? a fucking disaster

**mattata:** my parents flew back in yesterday and nearly had heart attacks when they came home to katie with a broken arm, refusing to say what happened

**mattata:** i was THIS CLOSE to being MURDERED

**mattata:** i told them what she said about keith and they flipped positions REAL QUICK

**takashmeoutside:** ya think they’re gonna ban her from future cryptid hunts with keith?

**mattata:** i really hope not but tbh i think katie might ban herself after what happened

**mattata:** she’s taking it harder than she lets on

**takashmeoutside:** i worry so much about her

**takashmeoutside:** she’s so young, you know??

**mattata:** no i have no idea how old the girl i live with is OF COURSE I KNOW AND NOW I FEEL LIKE I FAILED BC SHE GOT HURT UNDER MY WATCH

**takashmeoutside:** sounds like you, me, her, and keith are all in a battle royale to see who’s the most guilty bc god don’t i know how that feels right now

**takashmeoutside:** keith is all i have left now, and to see him hurt like that???? god this SUCKS

**mattata:** the best thing we can do now is move forward, i guess??

**takashmeoutside:** when i find out who hurt them…

**mattata:** i’ll be right there with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa what i ended with some soft shatt instead of klance whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
> don't worry klance returns to full force soon, keith just needs time to recover from his concussion  
> in the next chapter we find out what happened...maybe


	21. there's so much that happens in this chapter there's no one title to sum it up except AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith returns to school; hunk has a confession to make; we find out what Happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo so my school day was a waste of time???? like i said before all the underclassmen were taking psats and i signed up, as a senior who was forced to come to school, to do ap help (which was run by my lit and physics teachers and ended up being one massive ap kid study hall) and??????
> 
> i finished most of my homework for the week (i would've finished it all but i got bored and started writing this chapter instead) and i finished season 1 of buzzfeed unsolved supernatural and THEN 
> 
> we thought we were supposed to go to periods 5 6 and 7 but my assistant principal walks in and announces period 5 (physics) is getting cut and so my only classes left were fucking lunch, STUDY HALL, and CALC
> 
> AND CALC WAS AT THE END OF THE DAY AND I GOT MORE HOMEWORK TODAY WAS A WASTE (okay not totally i was more productive than i would've been at home but still)
> 
> hhhhh anyway
> 
>  
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING FOR IMPLIED/REFERENCED/BRIEFLY DISCUSSED SEXUAL ASSAULT**

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

_(6) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** LOOK!!! WHO’S!!! BACK!!!

 **lanceylance:** THE STARS IN MY SKY, THE SUN TO MY MOON, THE DAY TO MY NIGHT, THE FIRE TO MY WATER

 **lanceylance:** HE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

 **kogayne:** i can only do light work and not be on my phone a ton but i’ve decided it’s time to rejoin society

 **hunkerdunker:** keith: [says he can only do light work]

 **hunkerdunker:** also keith: [spends all day with lance]

 **lanceylance:** HEY HUNK HOW ABOUT NO

 **lanceylance:** NOBODY IS KILLING THIS GOOD MOOD TODAY

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** THE GOOD MOOD IS DEAD

 **allurable:** what happened?

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **hunkerdunker:** translation:

 **shayfromstatefarm:** paul morvok’s last day of iss was, in fact,

 **hunkerdunker:** /yesterday/

 **shayfromstatefarm:** so keith’s not the only one who’s back

 **hunkerdunker:** back and ready to /attack/ holy damn

 **allurable:** oh?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** paul’s been glaring daggers at the back of lance’s head since english started

 **kogayne:** concussed or not i’ll come down there and give him a piece of my mind

 **takashmeoutside:** keith, phone away

 **kogayne:** if lance is in trouble and i miss it

 **mattata:** phone away drama queen

 **lanceylance:** stop giving him my titles

 **lanceylance:** keith pls take care of urself i can handle paul

 **hunkerdunker:** he called you a noodle

 **shayfromstatefarm:** he almost snapped you in half

 **hunkerdunker:** keith had to rescue you at target

 **lanceylance:** is there anyone else who would like to take a stab at my self-confidence today

 **lanceylance:** smh if we were those paladins from my dream we’d never be able to form voltron

 **hunkerdunker:** ?????????? why not ??????????????

 **lanceylance:** we need to be in SYNC AND ALL Y’ALL WANNA DO IS TEAR ME DOWN TODAY

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** leave him alone

 **kogayne:** he’s not having a good day, just relax on the jokes

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey i love u

 **kogayne:** don’t let paul get to u, he doesn’t matter

 **lanceylance:** gosh darn it keith put your phone away

 **lanceylance:** but also i love u too i’ll see u fifth period  <3

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

_(2) videos from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s been staring like that all lunch

 **allurable:** i’m afraid to open these videos

 **allurable:** the thumbnail is unsettling

 **mattata:** i’ve been reading these messages from my lock screen and didn’t see the thumbnail, i thought it was lance and keith being gross and in love

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** WATCH IT HOLT

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**takashmeoutside:** can someone make sure keith and lance don’t get into another fight with him pls

 **takashmeoutside:** hunk, shay

 **carrierpidgeon:** what about me???

 **takashmeoutside:** ,,,,,

 **carrierpidgeon:** rUDE

 **lanceylance:** i’m holding back

 **lanceylance:** for now

 **hunkerdunker:** patience

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yields focus

 **takashmeoutside:** why are all of you like this

 **shayfromstatefarm:** because we can

 **hunkerdunker:** and you’re Team Dad

 **takashmeoutside:** no,,,, pls,,,,, i’m so tired

 **mattata:** what about me

 **lanceylance:** team Daddy™

 **takashmeoutside:** i crave the sweet release of death

 **allurable:** honey no you’re not setting a good example for the kids

 **takashmeoutside:** this group chat is worse than working in customer service

 **carrierpidgeon:** hey i’m gonna completely interrupt shiro’s desires to expire

 **carrierpidgeon:** i was on twitter and apparently it’s national coming out day

 **carrierpidgeon:** hi i’m asexual

 **allurable:** pan-poly pride my guys

 **takashmeoutside:** pansexual polyamorous whoa that feels weird to say

 **mattata:** this bi poly guy is in LOOOOOOOOVE with his partners

 **lanceylance:** if i was a vampire i’d be biSUCKsual

 **kogayne:** gayliens exist

 **shayfromstatefarm:** bi pride :)

 **hunkerdunker:** hi i’m pansexual

 **lanceylance:** WHOA WHAT

 **lanceylance:** WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS SOONER

 **hunkerdunker:** no, i kind of came to terms with it the other day, while matt and shiro were in the middle of their crisis

 **lanceylance:** HUUUUUNK CONGRATS BUDDY!!!!!

 **allurable:** JOIN THE PAN PATROL WITH US

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’m so proud of u :)

 **hunkerdunker:** <3

 **lanceylance:** wait so when was the magical moment

 **hunkerdunker:** when i realized that as a kid i loved everyone the way i love shay right now

 **lanceylance:** THIS IS PRECIOUS

 **shayfromstatefarm:** :’)

 **carrierpidgeon:** ahem

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m Proud

 **lanceylance:** OH SO WHEN KEITH AND I ACT ALL CUTESY IT’S DISGUSTING BUT WHEN THEY DO IT IT’S CUTE

 **kogayne:** i love being all cutesy and gross with you so everyone else’s opinion is automatically irrelevant

 _(3) photos from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i accidentally made them act more gross

 **hunkerdunker:** aaaaaaaaand paul is standing up

 **shayfromstatefarm:** come on hunk let’s go take care of this

 **lanceylance:** wait don’t fight my battles for me

 **allurable:** no lance shhh sit there and be with keith, protect his head

 **allurable:** prevent him from getting up and fighting paul and ending up back in the emergency room with more head trauma

 **kogayne:** allura wtf have a little faith in me this is paul morvok we’re talking about

 **lanceylance:** oh no now i’m convinced keith stay down you’re not going anywhere

 _(1) photo from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnn

 **kogayne:** paul looks even more pissed off i’m actually okay with this

 **kogayne:** yep keep staring morvok look at me and my boyfriend

 **mattata:** the school’s power couple is made up of two lovestruck nerds i can’t believe

 **takashmeoutside:** keith cut down on phone use you’re not healed yet

 **kogayne:** you’re not my Real Dad you can’t tell me what to do

 **takashmeoutside:** what the actual

 **takashmeoutside:** i can’t beLIEVE the NERVE YOU HAVE

 **mattata:** the Lance Effect

 **lanceylance:** um i respect my parents

 **kogayne:** but he’s not my real dad

 **lanceylance:** welp

 **hunkerdunker:** paul situation is taken care of, he’s staying faaaaaaar away from here

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hunk just had to approach him and he got scared bc he’s only ever known hunk to be quiet and kind

 **hunkerdunker:** i may be gentle but i’m still a giant and i will assert myself when necessary

 **lanceylance:** BEST BEST FRIEND EVER I LOVE U HUNK

 **hunkerdunker:** of course buddy

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** is everyone almost to the brogane house, /hunk/

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we’re on our way right now, hunk had to stay after to help out Mr. Sal

 **carrierpidgeon:** pls pls pls get here soon before i get more nervous

 **shayfromstatefarm:** he just floored it we’re almost there

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**mattata:** i hate people i hate them so much what the fuck

 **takashmeoutside:** i almost wish it had been a coordinated attack, just so we could have an easier time tracking those fucks down

 **lanceylance:** i’m shaking with rage right now what the hell

 **allurable:** the grossness of men continues to astound me

 **hunkerdunker:** she’s 15. how the fuck do you look at her and decide to do that.

 **mattata:** can you imagine what would’ve happened if keith had been further away

 **mattata:** or not there at all

 **lanceylance:** i told myself getting drunk would be fun to do one day

 **lanceylance:** but actually /screw that/

 **allurable:** drunkenness often just gives one the audacity to do something they’d never do sober, but would /consider/

 **allurable:** those men were trash to begin with

 **hunkerdunker:** and now they’re out there, off to spread more evil

 **lanceylance:** knowing keith they didn’t get away unscathed

 **shayfromstatefarm:** unfortunately, neither did keith

 **mattata:** she hasn’t told our parents about this yet

 **mattata:** they just know something traumatizing happened

 **mattata:** how am i supposed to explain a drunken sexual assault to them

 **takashmeoutside:** you don’t

 **takashmeoutside:** you let her tell them when she’s ready

 **takashmeoutside:** right now we’re not here to intrude, we’re here to be their support network

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** they threatened to...yknow… “do it” to me too

 **lanceylance:** keith it’s midnight go to bed

 **lanceylance:** wAIT SHIT I JUST LIKE *ACTUALLY* READ THE TEXT WAIT WHAT

 **lanceylance:** why didn’t you say anything????

 **kogayne:** pidge was so torn up she needed the help

 **lanceylance:** you can’t neglect yourself

 **lanceylance:** baby you know i’m here

 **kogayne:** can u pls be here physically bc i’m about to have a breakdown

 **lanceylance:** yeah yeah i’m coming over right now

 **lanceylance:** put your phone down, i’ll be over soon

 **lanceylance:** i love you  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so tired,,,,, i want rest


	22. keith put the phone down pLEASE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith won't put his fucking phone down fjakaldldk YOU'RE CONCUSSED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm on team "i didn't like season 4" hmu on twitter @ nerdyspxceace or instagram @ nerdyspaceace to talk about it

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so i talked to the police last night

**allurable:** why do you have to do this before they even get to school they’re just going to be stressed all day

**takashmeoutside:** bc it was late when i got called and lance was in the other room with keith

**takashmeoutside:** the police want to interview keith and pidge themselves so that they can get some descriptions and try and catch the people that were in the woods that day

**takashmeoutside:** they’re going to come by tonight

**lanceylance:** so why would you tell us in the group chat where they’re not??

**takashmeoutside:** i need to see if anyone is available to be there for support

**takashmeoutside:** the police are going to come around 5 pm, and i don’t know if they’ll interview keith and pidge alone, or if they can just sit in the living room, but i want people there

**lanceylance:** say no more i’ll be there

**hunkerdunker:** i’m free

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^

**mattata:** of course i’ll be there

**allurable:** i should be free

**lanceylance:** just make sure that keith and pidge are comfortable with us there

**lanceylance:** they should be but you never know

**takashmeoutside:** will do

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne, carrierpidgeon_ **

**takashmeoutside:** hey, i have a question for both of you

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ named the chat  _ **_it’s too early for this, shiro_ **

**kogayne:** i have concerns

**takashmeoutside:** the police called last night

**takashmeoutside:** they want to interview both of you tonight

**kogayne:** oh...great…

**takashmeoutside:** i need to know if the two of you would prefer to do this by yourselves, or if you maybe want people there to support you

**carrierpidgeon:** you invited the whole group chat over didn’t you

**kogayne:** honestly it would be nice having them there

**carrierpidgeon:** you mean having lance there

**kogayne:** he keeps me stable

**kogayne:** he’s also like 85% of my impulse control

**takashmeoutside:** how come you’ll listen to him but not to me

**kogayne:** fight the power

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**takashmeoutside:** all set, you’re all clear to come over

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**lanceylance:** tell keith to get off his phone and not work so hard, he’s not fully healed

**takashmeoutside:** keith get off your phone

**kogayne:** f i g h t  t h e  p o w e r

**lanceylance:** babe if u get hurt and end up in the hospital again we can’t hang out as often :(((

**mattata:** you’re so whipped

**lanceylance:** you were whipped for shiro for more than 7 years

**carrierpidgeon:** he still /is/ whipped for shiro

**shayfromstatefarm:** don’t forget now he’s also whipped for allura

**hunkerdunker:** and who’s to say he wasn’t even back in high school

**hunkerdunker:** what if he just didn’t realize it

**allurable:** shhh let’s not bring me into this

**lanceylance:** the Queen has spoken

**allurable:** why are,,, all of you like this so early

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s 12:15

**allurable:** i’ve been busy, time is meaningless

**shayfromstatefarm:** but you brought time into this

**allurable:** shhh logic and facts are meaningless

**carrierpidgeon:** how did the tangerine in chief get access to the group chat

**kogayne:** the government is spying on us 24/7 trust no one

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** not even urself

**lanceylance:** keith, baby, honey, starlight, day to my night,

**kogayne:** don’t tell me what to do mcclain

**lanceylance:** captain doofus, butthead, bane of my existence, PHONE DOWN

**hunkerdunker:** i mostly just want him to put his phone down so we can get this lab done before the period ends, i’m not trying to have homework

**shayfromstatefarm:** same

**lanceylance:** yeah the new season of one of my shows drops at 3 AM and i need to pull an allnighter to binge it so twitter doesn’t spoil me so i need to nap after school so i don’t have time for homework

**hunkerdunker:** just delete twitter?????

**lanceylance:** hOW DARE

**lanceylance:** HOW WILL I REACH MY ADORING FANS

**carrierpidgeon:** you have like 20 followers

**carrierpidgeon:** and 9 of them are your backup accounts and meme accounts

**lanceylance:** but,,

**kogayne:** can i stay up and watch with u

**lanceylance:** s H IT WENWERE GONNA WATCH TOGETHER AHSBDKALF AND NOW YOURE CONCUSSED

**lanceylance:** no, i have to be strong

**lanceylance:** no, light of my life, u can’t watch with me, i will have to install a million blacklist extensions in chrome to block anything spoilery, and i will not watch tonight

**takashmeoutside:** that is,,,,, remarkable self-restraint

**kogayne:** listen here fucker

**lanceylance:** YOU CAN’T RUIN YOUR BRAIN TO WATCH TV WITH ME

**kogayne:** IT’S BEEN ALMOST A WEEK ALREADY

**lanceylance:** WE ARE NOT TAKING CHANCES, STUBBY MCSTUBBORNPANTS

**kogayne:** I AM FINE

**lanceylance:** YOU WERE CONCUSSED IN THE WOODS

**kogayne:** I GOT PUSHED INTO A TREE AND FELL DOWN A SMALL CLIFF

**takashmeoutside:** YOU ARE NOT BETTER

**kogayne:** MY HEAD ONLY HIT THE TREE

**lanceylance:** YOU ARE  N O T  BETTER

**kogayne:** YES I AM

**lanceylance:** I WILL TAKE YOUR PHONE

**hunkerdunker:** YES PLEASE TAKE IT END THE DISCOURSE SO WE CAN DO THIS LAB

**shayfromstatefarm:** P L E A S E

**carrierpidgeon:** wow i can’t wait to take physics next year

**carrierpidgeon:** and then NOT take physics 2 my senior year

**mattata:** robotics is a physics-heavy field

**carrierpidgeon:** mother of fuck

**takashmeoutside:** so is astrophysics, it’s even in the name

**carrierpidgeon:** MOTHER OF FUCK

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**takashmeoutside:** the police will be here within the half hour, where are all of you

**takashmeoutside:** except matt

**lanceylance:** ON MY WAY TELL MY BOYFRIEND I’M COMING

**shayfromstatefarm:** i just got to hunk’s we’ll be over in less than 5

**allurable:** omw

**takashmeoutside:** lance, keith just told me to tell you that you need to hurry up

**hunkerdunker:** dON’T TELL HIM THAT HE’LL FLOOR IT AND BREAK LIKE 10 LAWS

**lanceylance:** I’M COMING KEITH

 

**_takashmeoutside > mattata_ **

**takashmeoutside:** well

**mattata:** they handled it the best they could

**mattata:** tbh i expected keith to lose it a lot sooner

**mattata:** and let me tell you i will never be able to tell him how grateful i am that he was there with katie

**mattata:** and that he risked himself to protect her like??? that should be my job and i am sososo glad he was there to do it when i couldn’t be

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll let him know

**takashmeoutside:** idk when tho

**takashmeoutside:** last i checked, he fell asleep crying next to lance

**mattata:** crying? openly??? was anyone else still over?

**takashmeoutside:** allura

**takashmeoutside:** she pretended she didn’t notice

**takashmeoutside:** but yeah he’s been a lot more open about it within the last six months

**mattata:** i’m proud of him, he’s finally a human being

**takashmeoutside:** part of me was scared he’d never open up

**takashmeoutside:** when he hit high school and still didn’t have a lot of friends i got really nervous

**takashmeoutside:** i’m so glad he is where he is now

**mattata:** except for

**takashmeoutside:** matt wtf of course except for who the fuck would be glad about that

**mattata:** listen there are a few weirdos out there who wish for shit like that so they could be considered “strong”

**takashmeoutside:** people are the worst

**takashmeoutside:** except for like, a few

**mattata:** except for me right

**takashmeoutside:** the worst of the worst

**mattata:** boi if u don’t

**takashmeoutside:** ;)

**mattata:** takashi shirogane? sending the winky face to ME? what the fuck kind of alternate reality have we entered

**takashmeoutside:** the one where you act logically and like a decent human being  <3

**mattata:** wOW OUT HERE ACTING LIKE HEARTS SOFTEN ANYTHING

**takashmeoutside:** because it did

**mattata:** shit u right  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: nerdyspxceace  
> insta: nerdyspaceace
> 
> my goal for tonight is to get another chapter of this written, finish and post the next chapter of stars go down, and potentially post a fix-it fic bc dammit season 4 let me down (no spoilers but like,,,, it's at the bottom of my season ranking)
> 
> k byeeee productive friday mode is a go


	23. i needed some way to rant about s4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day is truly Cursed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao i said i'd write a fix-it fic but it's not gonna happen i feel like i'll just be more bitter so i'm just gonna work on SGD  
>  **THERE ARE SEASON 4 SPOILERS IN THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN PIDGE AND HUNK (AKA ME TALKING ABOUT MY OPINIONS THROUGH THEM) SO IF YOU NEED TO SKIP THEIR CONVO, GO AHEAD, IT'S NOT NECESSARY TO UNDERSTAND THE REST OF THE CHAPTER**  
>  pls don't come at me for my opinions like i could write an essay on this season and its pros and cons for me the cons just happened to outweigh the pros but ANYWAY

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** DUDE THE NEW SEASON

**lanceylance:** hunk it’s 6 AM did you even sleep

**hunkerdunker:** NO BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT I AM BITTER

**lanceylance:** hUNK I DIDN’T WATCH THE NEW SEASON I STAYED ASLEEP WITH KEITH ALL NIGHT

**lanceylance:** NO SPOILERS

**hunkerdunker:** DO OPINIONS COUNT AS SPOILERS

**lanceylance:** …………….yes…..?

**hunkerdunker:** I NEED TO RANT

**lanceylance:** RANT AT PIDGE SHE PROBABLY STAYED UP ALL NIGHT

**hunkerdunker:** OH COME ON I CAN’T SAY ONE THING

**lanceylance:** NO!!

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE COME ON

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE PUSHY WHEN YOU’RE SLEEP DEPRIVED HOLY DAMN

**lanceylance:** RANT AT PIDGE

 

**_hunkerdunker > carrierpidgeon_ **

**hunkerdunker:** DUDE THE NEW SEASON

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

**hunkerdunker:** THEY DID HER CHARACTER SO DIRTY

**carrierpidgeon:** THEY DID THE ENTIRE CAST DIRTY EXCEPT .2 PEOPLE

**hunkerdunker:** GIVE THE BRAND NEW VILLAIN A REDEMPTION ARC BUT LEAVE CHARACTERS WHO’VE BEEN THERE FROM SEASON 1 IN THE DUST? O FUCKING KAY THEN

**carrierpidgeon:** HALF OF MY FANON IS DEAD

**carrierpidgeon:** ALL OF MY PREDICTIONS????? DEAD

**carrierpidgeon:** HALF OF THE PROBLEMS BROUGHT UP IN THE LAST SEASON????? SHDJSALALSDJFKS NO MENTION AT  A L L 

**hunkerdunker:** NO! EMOTIONAL! DEPTH!

**carrierpidgeon:** okay hold on i disagree there were a couple episodes and moments where i felt like the emotion was good

**hunkerdunker:** no but like most of the season lacked it i mean come on you’re gonna have 5 near death experiences and be like “lmao yeah i’m fine”

**carrierpidgeon:** true true and also NOBODY IS /ADDRESSING/ THEIR EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS??? THEY DIDN’T EXIST THIS SEASON???

**hunkerdunker:** ALSO THAT ONE EPISODE???? THE CHARACTERS WERE CARICATURES OF THEMSELVES

**carrierpidgeon:** A FILLER AND NOT A GOOD ONE AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WASN’T EVEN THERE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M SO BITTER

**hunkerdunker:** HOW DO YOU GO FROM A GOD-TIER SEASON TO /THIS/???

**carrierpidgeon:** WHATEVER THE WRITERS WERE ON, I NEED SOME

**hunkerdunker:** AND LANCE HASN’T EVEN WATCHED THE NEW SEASON

**carrierpidgeon:** HE PROMISED KEITH THEY’D WATCH TOGETHER AND HE’S STICKING TO IT HONESTLY DISGUSTING

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE,,,, BUDDY,,,,,,,,, HE’S SO WHIPPED

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WAS WHIPPED UNTIL THIS SEASON

**hunkerdunker:** N O  M O M E N T S 

**hunkerdunker:** I AM STARVING MY CROPS ARE DEAD THE DROUGHT IS UPON US

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** UGH I NEED COFFEE IF I’M GOING TO SURVIVE PHYSICS TODAY, DO YOU WANT SOME

**carrierpidgeon:** LOAD THAT SHIT WITH ESPRESSO

**hunkerdunker:** I GOTCHU

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** IF YOU SPOIL ME I WILL PERSONALLY COME PUNT YOUR GREMLIN ASS INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION

**carrierpidgeon:** WOW YOU’RE MEAN EVEN WHEN YOU GOT SLEEP

**lanceylance:** I WOKE UP TO HUNK TRYING TO SPOIL ME AND THEN I FIND OUT THAT THAT FAKE HEATHEN DIDN’T EVEN BRING ME COFFEE THIS MORNING, I HAD TO DRIVE TO DUNKIN  M Y S E L F

**kogayne:** he wasn’t alone i was with him

**lanceylance:** I HAD TO TAKE TIME OUT OF MY OWN MORNING

**lanceylance:** LESS TIME TO SPEND WITH KEITH, MORE TIME SPENT DRIVING AND DEALING WITH OTHER SLEEP-DEPRIVED TEENAGERS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING

**lanceylance:** AND THE CASHIER WAS CRANKY TOO

**hunkerdunker:** IT’S FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH, WE’VE TRULY BEEN CURSED

**lanceylance:** WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT MORE THAN YOU BETRAYING ME

**hunkerdunker:** I DIDN’T BETRAY YOU, YOU BETRAYED ME

**lanceylance:** I MADE A PROMISE I DON’T BREAK MY PROMISES AND YOU KNOW THIS

**takashmeoutside:** can all of you,,, please,,,,,,, maybe chill

**mattata:** SO THAT NEW SEASON

**lanceylance:** SHUT THE FUCK UP HOLT

**carrierpidgeon:** MATT TEXT ME AND HUNK LANCE HASN’T WATCHED IT

**mattata:** W H A T

**lanceylance:** I’M A LOYAL HOE

**kogayne:** that’s it we’re watching tonight

**lanceylance:** YOUR BRAIN IS NOT HEALED

**kogayne:** I WANNA KNOW WHY THEY’RE ALL FREAKING OUT

**lanceylance:** SUNDAY OKAY??? WE’LL WATCH IT TOGETHER SUNDAY

**kogayne:** TOMORROW NIGHT

**lanceylance:** FINE, BUT WE’RE BREAKING HALFWAY THROUGH TO REST YOUR BRAIN

**kogayne:** FAIR ENOUGH

**allurable:** hi what the hell did i just wake up to

**shayfromstatefarm:** the usual ridiculousness

**hunkerdunker:** DID EITHER OF YOU WATCH THE NEW SEASON

**allurable:** no? i don’t watch that show at all?

**hunkerdunker:** HHHH SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** should i just leave the gc now

**hunkerdunker:** NOT YOU TOO

**carrierpidgeon:** FAITHLESS HEATHENS

**lanceylance:** I WAS BEING A GOOD BOYFRIEND

**carrierpidgeon:** I CAN SEE WHAT’S HAPPENED

**carrierpidgeon:** AND THEY DON’T HAVE A CLUE

**hunkerdunker:** THEY FELL IN LOVE AND HERE’S THE BOTTOM LINE

**carrierpidgeon:** OUR TRIO’S DOWN TO TWO

**lanceylance:** ST O P BIENG RITUDE TO KEITH 

**lanceylance:** HUNK YOU’RE MEAN WHEN YOU DON’T SLEEP WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** this is like freshman year, keith-bottling-his-emotions levels of rude jeez louise

**kogayne:** shut the fuck up shiro

**mattata:** BUT IS HE WRONG

**kogayne:** H O L T

**allurable:** this entire group chat is a mess

**takashmeoutside:** this is what happens when hunk and pidge don’t sleep

**takashmeoutside:** and they force lance to be the responsible one

**lanceylance:** I AM ALWAYS RESPONSIBLE I WAS NOT JUST FORCED INTO THIS ROLE EXCUSE ME

**kogayne:** lance is 100% very responsible i can confirm

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU, KEITH

**kogayne:** :)

**mattata:** WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPED

**takashmeoutside:** you’re whipped for me /and/ allura you’re double whipped

**lanceylance:** oh shit?? shiro with a comeback?????

**allurable:** didn’t we already do this yesterday

**carrierpidgeon:** deja vu

**kogayne:** shiro would never, where’s my real cousin

**lanceylance:** takashi shirogane is dead and has been replaced with a clone, a conspiracy theory thread

**takashmeoutside:** quit telling everyone i’m dead

**kogayne:** well i’ve looked into our other recent texts and put together that he acts like the real shiro sometimes and not at others

**kogayne:** so i guess for now, the mystery of clone shiro will remain

**kogayne:** UNSOLVED

**mattata:** did the three of you just squeeze in three memes in a span of two minutes

**allurable:** it truly is a cursed day, this entire chat is cursed

**lanceylance:** wanna make it even more cursed??? add 5 more people. make it 13 of us.

**kogayne:** doesn’t lotor’s squad have 5 people

**lanceylance:** okay i said add 5 people not 5 DEMONS

**kogayne:** okay but he did stick up for us that one time

**lanceylance:** okay but that was for his own gain he actually wants nothing to do with us

**kogayne:** how was it for his own gain

**lanceylance:** so he has a bargaining chip, just u wait, something’ll happen and he’s gonna cash in that favor like “remember when i stopped my dad from reaming u guys and shutting down your club??? yeah do this semilegal thing for me”

**takashmeoutside:** that was,,, a bit specific

**lanceylance:** i dON’T TRUST HIM

**lanceylance:** I REALLY DON’T TRUST HIM

**kogayne:** i mean neither do i but isn’t that prediction a little out there

**lanceylance:** JUST U WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT

**allurable:** (alexander hamilton, we are waiting in the wings for you)

**mattata:** STOP WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN

**carrierpidgeon:** I DEALT WITH LANCE AND HUNK AGGRESSIVELY GOING AT OBEDIENT SERVANT FOR /MONTHS/

**kogayne:** have you all seen lance when he gets really into yorktown??? one time he literally started crying

**lanceylance:** it was 2 AM and i had no sleep and too much sugar and was emotional over another show

**takashmeoutside:** okay, but NO ONE HERE EXCEPT ME has seen ALLURA going at nonstop

**lanceylance:** allura is literally hamilton

**lanceylance:** work ethic wise

**lanceylance:** not like, with the cheating and exposing herself to clear herself of embezzlement

**takashmeoutside:** well i would hOPE NOT

**allurable:** lance shut up

**takashmeoutside:** EXCUSE ME

**mattata:** h o l y  s h i t

**allurable:** i’m jOKING JEEZ

**kogayne:** he momentarily lost his trust in allura, a TRULY cursed day

**shayfromstatefarm:** i left for literally five minutes what the hell

**shayfromstatefarm:** 60 MESSAGES

**allurable:** well there are 8 people here that’s not even an average 8 messages per person

**lanceylance:** nononono shay wasn’t here factor her out

**lanceylance:** that’d be an average almost 9 messages per person

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s still not a ton

**takashmeoutside:** it’s a bit concerning for people who are supposed to be in class

**lanceylance:** it’s a half day, classes are like half an hour, our teachers literally do not give a shit at this point

**takashmeoutside:** cAN YOU ALL JUST PAY ATTENTION ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** but daaaaaaad

**mattata:** lance listen to your father

**lanceylance:** but daddyyyyy

**shayfromstatefarm:** i need bleach for my eyes

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** if i could bleach this from my memories too that’d be great

**takashmeoutside:** this is why no one has friends outside of this group

**lanceylance:** EXCUSE ME?

**kogayne:** SHIRO DID /YOU/ SLEEP LAST NIGHT?

**lanceylance:** DON’T FUCK WITH ME HERE SHIRO

**allurable:** lance, sweetie, i’m so sorry

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT IS HAPPENING ANYMORE

**hunkerdunker:** THIS DAY’S BEEN CURSED RIGHT FROM THE START

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey you’re okay right???

**lanceylance:** yeah i think so, this day is so fucking weird

**lanceylance:** it’s like we entered an alternate reality

**kogayne:** strange things have been happening

**lanceylance:** also pls don’t feel like hunk and pidge yelling at me is ur fault okay??????????? tbh i don’t care that i missed the season premiere it’s not a big deal at  a l l  especially not in the grand scheme of things

**lanceylance:** you’re a lot more important

**kogayne:** aw lance :( 

**lanceylance:** seriously i mean it so don’t get any ideas like isolating yourself or something

**lanceylance:** if u start putting walls up again i’ll have to break out a sledgehammer

**kogayne:** why,,,,,,,,,, are u so Good

**lanceylance:** bc i know what ur going thru

**kogayne:** ????????????????????????????

**lanceylance:** when ppl keep insinuating something bad is your fault

**lanceylance:** i grew up with it

**kogayne:** hey shhh no that’s all over nothing is your fault you’re wonderful and i love you

**lanceylance:** hhhhhhhhhhhh

**kogayne:** shhh shhhhhh shshhshsh let me love you

**lanceylance:** i am so glad we got together can u imagine if we never did

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna

**kogayne:** i’m not trying to cry

**lanceylance:** aw

**lanceylance:** after school we’re cuddling that’s it yOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME NOW

**kogayne:** good i don’t want to  <3

**lanceylance:** [clutches chest]  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously,,, pls hmu on twitter (nerdyspxceace) or instagram (nerdyspaceace) pls i need ppl to discuss this with my friends haven't watched the new season yet PLEASE I AM DYING


	24. Team No Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nobody's gotten the proper amounts of sleep (except for shiro apparently, what a perfectionistic little shit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a calc exam i have not studied for, it's 20% of my grade for the college i'm getting credit out of for this course and there are only 6 questions, ripperoni

**_lanceylance_ ** _added_ **_kogayne, carrierpidgeon, hunkerdunker,_ ** _and_ **_mattata_ ** _to_ **_WHAT IN THE FUCM_ **

**lanceylance:** KEITH AND I JUST FINISHED BINGING THE SEASON AND CAN I JUST SAY

 **lanceylance:** WHAT THE SHIT*

 **lanceylance:** *i have a lot of mixed feelings but “what the shit” is my main one

 **lanceylance:** KEITH LITERALLY GOT UP AND WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM TO GO SCREAM

 **carrierpidgeon:** HOLD UP THIS IS A CONVERSATION THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN IN PERSON, WHERE IS EVERYONE RIGHT NOW

 **kogayne:** I’M AT LANCE’S

 **hunkerdunker:** I’M HOME

 **hunkerdunker:** I WAS SLEEPING

 **hunkerdunker:** THANKS FOR THE WAKEUP, /LANCE/

 **lanceylance:** YOU WANTED ME TO WATCH THE NEW SEASON, I WATCHED IT, I HAVE FEELINGS

 **mattata:** EVERYONE COME TO THE HOLT HOUSE, THE PARENTS ARE GONNA BE GONE ALL DAY FOR SOME BUSINESS PARTY THAT WE WEREN’T INVITED TO

 **lanceylance:** I’M GONNA STOP AT DUNKS FIRST I’M GETTING EVERYONE COFFEE AND MUNCHKINS

 **carrierpidgeon:** THIS IS SERIOUS, HE’S WILLINGLY BUYING ADDITIONAL FOOD

 **hunkerdunker:** ON MY WAY

 **kogayne:** I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GO WITH LANCE I’LL SEE YOU SOON

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**takashmeoutside:** anyone wanna explain to me why i got a snapchat of keith losing his shit at 4 AM from lance

 **kogayne:** LANCE YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU SAID YOU DELETED IT

 **lanceylance:** SHIRO YOU ABSOLUTE RAT

 **hunkerdunker:** they finally watched the new season

 **takashmeoutside:** did someone die

 **kogayne:** TOO MANY PEOPLE

 **lanceylance:** me

 **lanceylance:** on the inside

 **lanceylance:** my hopes and dreams were resurrected just to be killed, again

 **takashmeoutside:** ...lance are you okay

 _(3) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** i have coffee, my boyfriend, and sunshine

 **lanceylance:** so at the moment, yes

 **allurable:** so this is one of those Dramatic moments then

 **lanceylance:** yes see allura gets me

 **allurable:** of course my son

 **takashmeoutside:** so i’m guessing lance and keith are going to be spending most of the day sleeping

 **kogayne:** no actually we have a calc exam tomorrow that we need to study for

 **lanceylance:** why do you think we have so much coffee

 **lanceylance:** why do you think we’re soaking in so much vitamin d

 **mattata:** DID SOMEONE SAY

 **mattata:** vitamin D ;))))))

 **takashmeoutside:** i will not hesitate

 **carrierpidgeon:** i thought we agreed to stop adding and removing people after i removed lance and allura flipped her shit on me

 **allurable:** shiro be nice to our boyfriend

 **allurable:** matt watch your language there are children present

 **carrierpidgeon:** I’M FIFTEEN

 **allurable:** anyone under 18 is a child

 **kogayne:** heh one more week

 **hunkerdunker:** did keith just say “heh”

 **shayfromstatefarm:** whO IS HE

 **carrierpidgeon:** aliens abducted him, that’s it

 **carrierpidgeon:** he found that fucking robot lion from lance’s dream and went to space without us

 **lanceylance:** excuse me i would’ve gone with him, like hell i’m letting him wander the desert all alone

 **carrierpidgeon:** the aliens couldn’t deal with lance so they wiped his memories and sent him back, that’s why he doesn’t remember going into the desert with keith

 **mattata:** you can never truly get rid of memories, there’s always something left behind

 **mattata:** quite often, deep feelings associated with the memories get left behind

 **takashmeoutside:** they abducted matt too

 **mattata:** ????? wtf man

 **takashmeoutside:** too philosophical to be matt holt

 **mattata:** um no? we went to the same nerd school, dude

 **mattata:** i just hold back my philosophical mutterings in favor of the Memes

 **carrierpidgeon:** yep that’s him

 **shayfromstatefarm:** has anyone noticed that keith hasn’t spoken since we accused him of being abducted by aliens

 **allurable:** there’s a reason he answers to “gaylien” and now it all makes sense!!!

 **lanceylance:** keith how could you not tell me you were abducted by aliens and replaced with this faker

 **hunkerdunker:** this whole time we thought shiro was the clone,,,,

 **shayfromstatefarm:** and KEITH was the one who started the conspiracy

 **takashmeoutside:** actually that was lance

 **shayfromstatefarm:** being INFLUENCED BY KEITH AND HIS ALIEN MIND CONTROL POWERS

 **hunkerdunker:** actually i just looked back, keith floated the idea that shiro wasn’t real, lance used the word “clone” but it’s the same meaning, so keith started it

 **shayfromstatefarm:** and then influenced lance to follow him

 **carrierpidgeon:** hey keith, you’ve been AWFULLY silent over there

 **lanceylance:** SHDAOSOF HELP H YIM BEINGG ABUDKCTED

 **lanceylance:** SOMETONE PLERTJ

 **lanceylance:** HEISO AN ALSUEN

 **carrierpidgeon:** wait what the fuck

 **allurable:** um

 **takashmeoutside:** ????????????

 **hunkerdunker:** w hat

 _(4) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** I HAVE YOUR FRIEND NOW

 **lanceylance:** I’M NOT LETTING YOU HAVE HIM BACK

 **lanceylance:** HE’S ALLLLLLL MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE

 **mattata:** oh, okay

 **mattata:** so when hunk gets no sleep, he’s rude

 **mattata:** i’m extra sassy

 **mattata:** pidge is even more of a gremlin than usual

 **mattata:** and lance and keith are loopy as fuck

 **takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe they’d stage lance’s kidnapping at keith’s hands

 **allurable:** keith would tbh

 **takashmeoutside:** are you implying that my cousin is a creep

 **allurable:** no, i’m saying that if for whatever reason he got separated from lance, he’d just come and kidnap him so they can’t get separated anymore

 **kogayne:** OKAY FIRST OF ALL, NO, I HAVE RESPECT FOR HIS BOUNDARIES

 **kogayne:** SECOND OF ALL, I WOULD CLEARLY COME RESCUE HIM AFTER SOMEONE ELSE HAS KIDNAPPED HIM

 **lanceylance:** let’s be real, who wouldn’t love to kidnap me, i’m too irresistible

 **carrierpidgeon:** kidnapping is like,,,, a serious thing

 **kogayne:** she’s got a point

 **kogayne:** paladins form voltron

 **mattata:** ???? what????????

 **lanceylance:** you’re right, and i apologize, i shouldn’t be joking around about it

 **lanceylance:** especially given,,,, you know

 **mattata:** wait what

 **mattata:** why did he just randomly say paladins form voltron

 **takashmeoutside:** he’s had no sleep, he’s probably having some conversation with lance and just started typing it

 **allurable:** makes sense to me

 **carrierpidgeon:** …….mmm/hmmmmmm/

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > hunkerdunker_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** they totally have a safeword

 **hunkerdunker:** you know, i had a feeling, after lance said that thing that one time, and keith came at us in the other group chat

 **hunkerdunker:** now that you point it out, it makes sense

 **shayfromstatefarm:** you think we should have one too?? just in case??

 **shayfromstatefarm:** it seems like a good idea, and a fun way to confuse the group chat

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m down, what do you want it to be

 **shayfromstatefarm:** how does the sky look

 **hunkerdunker:** omfg what

 **shayfromstatefarm:** exactly, it’ll confuse the group chat so much

 **hunkerdunker:** someone is guaranteed to answer with a weather report

 **shayfromstatefarm:** two birds with one stone, a free weather report and we let each other know that it’s not a good day without saying it explicitly

 **hunkerdunker:** you’re so brilliant, i love you

 **shayfromstatefarm:** love you too  <3

 

**_Team Trainwreck_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _renamed_ **_Team Trainwreck_ ** _to_ **_Team No Sleep_ **

**takashmeoutside:** ummmm,,, excuse me, i got sleep

 **carrierpidgeon:** too bad, you’re stuck here

 **takashmeoutside:** ACTUALLY

 **allurable:** NO ONE IS LEAVING THIS GROUP CHAT, SIT DOWN SHIRO

 **mattata:** even if he left

 **mattata:** we’d just keep adding him back

 **mattata:** a vicious cycle to be carried out FOREVERRRRRR

 **takashmeoutside:** not if i block the chat and everyone in it

 **kogayne:** wow that’s low

 **carrierpidgeon:** who’ll you hang out with and text then

 **takashmeoutside:** ….ANYWAY

 **allurable:** ajskdlslalfj he won’t even admit we’re his only friends

 **lanceylance:** and he made fun of US for having no friends outside the gc

 **lanceylance:** WHO’S LAUGHING NOW SHIROGANE

 **takashmeoutside:** i say everyone quits the group chat for the day and gets some extra sleep, bc you’re all too hyper

 **kogayne:** not now i need to remember what the fuck epsilon and delta do

 **hunkerdunker:** yikes, i gotta study for that

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yeah same

 **lanceylance:** STUDY SESSION AT MY HOUSE

 **carrierpidgeon:** yeah, uh, not in that class, catch me at home beating lance’s high score on space defenders

 **lanceylance:** listen, once i ace this calc exam, i’m coming over and kicking your ass

 **carrierpidgeon:** BRING IT MCCLAIN

 **lanceylance:** YOU’RE ON HOLT

 **lanceylance:** TOMORROW

 **lanceylance:** AFTER I’VE DIED AND HAD MY TEACHER PAINFULLY RESURRECT ME SO I CAN CARRY ON WITH THE REST OF THE SCHOOL DAY

 **kogayne:** okay space boy that’s enough let’s go study

 **lanceylance:** space boy??? that’s new, i like that one actually

 **kogayne:** oh good

 **kogayne:** now let’s go

 **kogayne:** hunk, shay, we’ll be at lance’s in 10

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m going to get shay right now

 **shayfromstatefarm:** see you soon!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically keith lance and hunk went to the holt house rlly early in the morning, then keith and lance and hunk all left. keith and lance went together and got coffee and went to spend the day together, how adorable, and now they're gonna meet up with hunk and shay to study for calc (lmao guess what i didn't do)


	25. Shalluratt's Origin Story (ft. Background Broganes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the crew finds out the origins behind alluratt, which then fused with shatt and shallura to become the ~~monstrosity~~ power trio known as shalluratt, ft. some background broganes angst, the whole gc roasting everyone, and lance and keith still being grossly in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone wanted shalluratt, i cannot deny my people ( ~~but uhhhh there's still a lot of klance bc i love them and they're hurting in my other fanfics i need a happy outlet whoops)~~
> 
> also i posted a new chapter yesterday (aka at approximately sometime early this morning), but i don't know if everyone got the notification bc it's not showing up as my most recently updated fanfic, so idk, just go back and check on that. i know one of my irl friends got the notif, but someone on twitter didn't so idk ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
>  
> 
> **trigger warning for the group joking abt wanting to die, i'm rlly not trying to make light of suicide, but this is so common across twitter and in school in general, it'd feel weird to me to not have it brought up, idk, sorry if u get offended**

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** can someone tell me a story before the calc exam this morning

 **carrierpidgeon:** wtf what kind of story

 **lanceylance:** i dunno, something new i guess???? something interesting

 **kogayne:** here, i have a question: matt and allura

 **kogayne:** everyone knows how shatt and shallura got together, how the fuck did alluratt become the thing that fused with shatt and shallura to become shalluratt

 **takashmeoutside:** keith it’s not even 8 AM why would you do this

 **mattata:** SO, YOU WANT THE DEEP STORY, HUH

 **allurable:** [cracks knuckles] who gets the juicy bits

 **mattata:** WELL,

 **allurable:** OKAY, HOLT, KEEP IT PG

 **hunkerdunker:** nobody ever told you?

 **carrierpidgeon:** they kept me in the dark, too, i’d actually like to hear this myself

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^ considering they fight half the time in the gc

 **allurable:** that’s called play fighting

 **mattata:** it’s called insults under a thin veneer of friendship

 **allurable:** which then became love

 **lanceylance:** oKAY CAN WE MOVE ON WITH THIS STORY PLEASE

 **mattata:** okay so things started sophomore year aka allura’s freshman year

 **mattata:** keep in mind that up until the year before i thought i was a raging heterosexual, until shiro awoke the Bi Beast within me

 **lanceylance:** the what

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve always thought of mine more as a Bi Butterfly

 **lanceylance:** w h a t

 **carrierpidgeon:** lance??? not being the extra one for once?????

 **lanceylance:** >:(((((((

 **mattata:** lance roasts aside

 **mattata:** sophomore year, let me set the scene: i am dating shiro, and i believe i am madly in love with my best friend

 **takashmeoutside:** you “believe”

 **mattata:** i will use every embarrassing nickname for you i know

 **mattata:** you already know this story, HUSH

 **mattata:** anyway, in astronomy, we meet this girl named allura altea

 **hunkerdunker:** are shay, pidge, and i the only people here who didn’t take freaking astronomy

 **shayfromstatefarm:** actually i took it sophomore year, remember

 **carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^^ i took it as a freshie

 **kogayne:** sorry hunk, odd man out today

 **hunkerdunker:** b e t r a y a l

 **allurable:** ANYWAY IN ASTRONOMY I MEET THESE TWO KIDS NAMED SHIRO AND MATT, AND I DECIDE THAT THEY SEEM COOL, WE’RE GONNA BE FRIENDS

 **mattata:** even as a freshman, she had the stress levels of a senior

 **allurable:** my dad had a reputation at that school, and was with the BOE even then, i had big shoes to fill

 **mattata:** anyway, not gonna deny it, especially not now, i thought allura was beautiful

 **takashmeoutside:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **mattata:** oh so i get called out for merely “believing” we’re in love

 **takashmeoutside:** anyway

 **mattata:** so allura joins our friend group, modern harry potter trio, blah blah blah

 **allurable:** i lowkey think they’re both attractive but feelings were buried under school and stress and caffeine

 **kogayne:** mood as fuck

 **lanceylance:** BABE

 **carrierpidgeon:** lance is the second boyfriend of your high school career you fucking liar

 **kogayne:** STILL A MOOD

 **kogayne:** I LOVE YOU LANCE

 **lanceylance:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh u too i guess

 **kogayne:** SPACE BOY WAIT

 **takashmeoutside:** hush your relationship is 85% of our conversations, let my boyfriend and girlfriend tell their story

 **mattata:** THANK YOU

 **mattata:** throughout the rest of sophomore, junior, and senior year, our friend group is so tight-knit that sometimes, newer teachers get confused over who’s dating who

 **allurable:** (needless to say, morvok always said i was dating matt or shiro, not both at once, and he certainly never admitted they were dating each other)

 **kogayne:** ugh that dick

 **mattata:** freshman year of college, shiro and i break up, bc this whole “dating each other” thing is too much for shiro

 **takashmeoutside:** ...i was in a bad place after the car accident, and the whole custody thing with keith was taking a toll, in my defense

 **mattata:** anyway, now an uncuffed man on a college campus, i begin focusing on my studies

 **allurable:** i’m still in close contact with them and visit frequently, and i realize that damn, they’re both kind of REALLY ATTRACTIVE, but i’m still too busy to focus

 **allurable:** until the next year, when i go to college with them

 **mattata:** i thought it was my moment, allura and i spent a lot of time talking to each other while shiro was dealing with his shit,

 **mattata:** until shiro came to me and told me he was gonna ask her out, and asked if i was okay with it, given our breakup the year before

 **mattata:** i said i was fine

 **allurable:** matt began a rivalry and said that i was “stealing his best friend” when really he was suppressing feelings for the both of us

 **allurable:** eventually our jabs and lowkey side fights became just another part of the friendship

 **mattata:** i silently pined over shiro (and lowkey allura) for seven more years, until the last few weeks

 **mattata:** and that’s how our jokes about me and shiro divorcing, me being friendly with his wife, all that stuff came to be

 **lanceylance:** wow

 **kogayne:** if only the harry potter love triangle could’ve ended that way

 **shayfromstatefarm:** wait did you just imply that harry, hermione, and ron were in a love triangle???

 **hunkerdunker:** wtf man, harry liked cho and ginny, hermione was just a friend

 **kogayne:** okay but if we go off of the movies

 **carrierpidgeon:** he does have a point there

 **shayfromstatefarm:** and i mean, the principle also applies to pretty much any fictional love triangle

 **lanceylance:** can’t pick? polyamory.

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna write a book series one day and make the entire fandom get into ship wars only for the series to end like that so everyone looks ridiculous for fighting

 **lanceylance:** it doesn’t even have to be a book, it could be like, tv or something

 **carrierpidgeon:** shit u right

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** wait, so…

 **kogayne:** i’m the reason you broke up with matt?

 **takashmeoutside:** shit, no, i didn’t word that properly

 **takashmeoutside:** nononono keith, it was a number of factors

 **takashmeoutside:** the custody thing just one of many

 **kogayne:** but it was still one of them

 **takashmeoutside:** keith, listen to me, there was a /lot/ going on, and the breakup was a while coming. i needed space. i needed to deal with the accident and the funerals and the custody battle and my own trauma in my own ways.

 **takashmeoutside:** taking custody of you, though, turned out to be a lot more joyful than i anticipated

 **takashmeoutside:** it was either i took custody, or they put you into the system, and i would do all that legal bullshit all over again to keep you with me

 **takashmeoutside:** and i will never, ever regret it.

 **takashmeoutside:** my breakup with matt had little to nothing to do with you, specifically, so don’t feel bad about it

 **kogayne:** ….are you sure

 **kogayne:** bc sometimes it just feels like...like i’m sort of a burden, you know?

 **kogayne:** especially after the thing in the woods, and all the medical bills

 **takashmeoutside:** listen, we’re family, and you may be a pain in the ass sometimes, but you’re never a *burden.* and i wouldn’t have taken you in if i didn’t know what i was getting into.

 **kogayne:** i just feel like,,, i don’t contribute enough to help you

 **takashmeoutside:** all i cared about when i took you in was whether or not you were happy, and you were ecstatic to stay with me. that’s all i could and still will ask of you.

 **kogayne:** …

 **takashmeoutside:** i love you, keith.

 **kogayne:** love you too, shiro

 **kogayne:** and i’m glad you adopted me

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m grateful i did, every single day

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** so calc made me wanna die

 **kogayne:** actually die or Die™

 **lanceylance:** Die™

 **lanceylance:** keith i need emotional support, be ready at lunch

 **kogayne:** meet at the last stairwell??

 **lanceylance:** <3

 **carrierpidgeon:** this is too much romance for the day, pls take this to a different group chat

 **lanceylance:** WE’VE BARELY DONE ANYTHING TODAY

 **hunkerdunker:** why are you and keith so mushy in the main gc anyway

 **lanceylance:** BECAUSE I  L O V E  HIM

 **lanceylance:** fine, we’ll just be grossly in love in person at lunch

 **mattata:** they’re sparing us old people, thank god

 **lanceylance:** LISTEN HOLT, YOU PINING SHIT,

 **takashmeoutside:** you wanna repeat that

 **allurable:** [cracks knuckles]

 **lanceylance:** A L L U R A

 **lanceylance:** YOU TOO??????????????

 **mattata:** i have an idea: we be mushy and gross right back

 **carrierpidgeon:** OH GOD PLEASE DON’T

 **hunkerdunker:** why can’t you guys be normal like me and shay

 **shayfromstatefarm:** the variable here is the presence of a brogane

 **shayfromstatefarm:** instant grossness

 **kogayne:** LISTEN HERE

 **takashmeoutside:** excuse me

 **carrierpidgeon:** [cups hands around mouth] FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

 **lanceylance:** YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU WANNA SEE WHO HAS THE SUPERIOR RELATIONSHIP??? WE DO A SERIES OF CHALLENGES. THIS FRIDAY. AFTER SCHOOL. BROGANE HOUSE.

 **hunkerdunker:** allura, shiro, and matt have three people, unfair advantage

 **lanceylance:** THEY’RE OLD, WE’RE YOUNGER THAN THEM, DOESN’T MATTER

 **lanceylance:** PIDGE, MAKE UP A SERIES OF CHALLENGES OF VARYING SKILL RANGES THAT ISN’T SKEWED TOWARD ONE RELATIONSHIP IN PARTICULAR

 **carrierpidgeon:** oh hell yeah

 **lanceylance:** THEN WE CAN PROVE THAT KEITH AND I ARE IN THE BEST RELATIONSHIP HERE

 **kogayne:** okay but everyone’s relationship is different

 **lanceylance:** starshine, peanut to my butter, the vase of flowers sitting on my coffee table, /hush/,

 **hunkerdunker:** “vase of flowers sitting on my coffee table”

 **carrierpidgeon:** yeah so klance is losing the cutesy nickname contest

 **mattata:** i think kashi automatically gives us a win

 **kogayne:** kashi is a fucking granola bar

 **carrierpidgeon:** holy shit i’m adding a roast contest

 **lanceylance:** goodbye, reputation

 **allurable:** hold on i’m still cracking up over shiro being a granola bar

 **mattata:** he’s the almond snickerdoodle chewy nut butter bar ;)

 **carrierpidgeon:** lance you still wanna Die™ right

 **lanceylance:** yeah

 **carrierpidgeon:** i want in

 **shayfromstatefarm:** isn’t death technically a way /out/

 **carrierpidgeon:** can someone just get me whatever lance is having

 **lanceylance:** you mean my Loving Keith juice

 **carrierpidgeon:** i hope it’s poisoned

 **lanceylance:** :O

 **mattata:** who poisoned it tho

 **carrierpidgeon:** [chucks empty test tube out window] I DUNNO MAN

 **lanceylance:** I AM BEING  A T T A C K E D

 **shayfromstatefarm:** if you have poison and want out why not just poison yourself

 **carrierpidgeon:** LIGHTBULB

 **hunkerdunker:** pidge, no,

 **takashmeoutside:** pidge yes, be the hero, defeat the evil

 **carrierpidgeon:** SHIRO

 **kogayne:** hush, nut butter bar

 **takashmeoutside:** matt this is all your fault

 **allurable:** here sweetie let me get revenge for you

 **allurable:** DOORMATT

 **mattata:** STOP THAT WAS ONE TIME

 **hunkerdunker:** omfg what

 **allurable:** one time in college he got ridiculously drunk and crashed in front of shiro’s door during a party and everyone walked on top of him and wiped their feet on him

 **takashmeoutside:** we wrote “welcome” on the back of his shirt

 **kogayne:** what the actual fuck

 **lanceylance:** hunk, if you let that happen to me in college, i will actually end our friendship

 **hunkerdunker:** i thought you said you weren’t getting drunk anymore after,,,,

 **lanceylance:** shIIIIIT SHTUUTHHSDHTU EGGPLANTS WHO HERE LIKES EGGPLANTS

 **allurable:** why are they even called eggplants, they look nothing like eggs

 **kogayne:** europeans

 **lanceylance:** fucking white people

 **takashmeoutside:** they thought eggplants looked like goose eggs

 **hunkerdunker:** petition to call them aubergines like they’re supposed to be

 **shayfromstatefarm:** seconded, all in favor

 **kogayne:** aye

 **lanceylance:** aye

 **takashmeoutside:** aye

 **allurable:** aye

 **carrierpidgeon:** aye

 **mattata:** nay

 **takashmeoutside:** doormatt

 **mattata:** [sigh] aye, nut butter

 **allurable:** kashi

 **allurable:** takis

 **mattata:** those are corn chips

 **lanceylance:** doritos are also corn chips, and shiro has the shoulder-to-waist ratio of a dorito

 **kogayne:** why are you ogling my cousin enough to know that

 **lanceylance:** i can look at the menu i just can’t order

 **kogayne:** >:O

 **lanceylance:** im kidding ily

 **mattata:** shiiiiro, baaabyyy

 **allurable:** WE’RE NOT DOING THIS

 **carrierpidgeon:** why did matt and lance never get together, they’d be iconic, the over-the-top meme team

 **mattata:** that age difference is creepy

 **lanceylance:** ^^^^^^^^^^

 **kogayne:** oh i see is that the only reason

 **lanceylance:** also i had my eye on someone else

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ...is this before or after january of sophomore year

 **lanceylance:** no. we don’t talk about them. i’m serious.

 **lanceylance:** i was definitely talking about keith.

 **hunkerdunker:** so anyway that’s why one of the shades of purple is aubergine, after the plant

 **shayfromstatefarm:** what a nice name for a color, an elegant name for a plant

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > lanceylance_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** hey, sorry if i made you guys uncomfortable or anything, sometimes i forget how touchy that subject is

 **lanceylance:** it’s okay

 **shayfromstatefarm:** seriously, don’t hesitate to call me out

 **lanceylance:** you got it

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey, i love you

 **kogayne:** i know

 **lanceylance:** ...you’re not mad, are you?

 **kogayne:** did i use the code

 **lanceylance:** ……...no

 **kogayne:** well there’s your answer

 **kogayne:** im just giving you a hard time ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lanceylance:** you little shit

 **kogayne:** youre one to talk, cousin-ogler

 **lanceylance:** mmmm yeah that’s fair

 **lanceylance:** i got the best ‘gane in the end tho, so ;)

 **kogayne:** yOU CNSLTT JUST DAYA THAT

 **lanceylance:** mmmmmmmm i love making my boyfriend flustered

 **kogayne:** IS THIS SOME FORM OF REVENGE

 **lanceylance:** ;))))

 **lanceylance:** there’s the bell, see you soon!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the actual calc exam, i didn't think it was that bad, i finished like 10-15 minutes early, but then i was the only one who didn't stay an extra five minutes so either i did well or i fucked up completely
> 
> ALSO I'M TRYING TO GET THE NEXT CHAPTER OF STARS GO DOWN OUT TONIGHT SO IF YOU'RE READING THE DECEIT SO NATURAL TRILOGY LOOK OUT FOR IT
> 
> if you're not, here you go, here's the first fanfic in the trilogy, have fun: [where people go to die](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539)


	26. Hades the Misunderstood Lonely Edgelord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HADES IS MISUNDERSTOOD; shiro is feeling Down™, so allura and matt plot to make him feel better; klance continues to be disgustingly in love; pidge makes sex jokes at their expense; what even is the plot of this fanfic??? idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i should really finish chapter 16 of stars go down, or maybe like, do my 20 million homework assignments" i say as i pound out this chapter
> 
> anyway we got assigned a mythology project in ap lit, and my friend group rejoiced bc i'm the resident mythology nerd, and thus, a chapter was born
> 
> aLSO I FEEL I SHOULD MENTION, i don't have like, one overarching plot, i was just gonna kind of,,,, infinitely write this, like i could definitely see this going over 100 chapters, just a head's up, since this is kinda like.........an outlet for me
> 
> okay have fun
> 
> **there's a lot of sex jokes in here, there's a reason this is rated m**

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey so i saw this post on tumblr

**lanceylance:** those sentences don’t end well a good 50% of the time but go on

**kogayne:** when i do a mental health check-in would you prefer the normal overly-sweet stuff or something else

**lanceylance:** what do you mean something else

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** “what up u depressed bastard” honestly mood

**lanceylance:** ehhhhh up to you, i’ll understand either way

**kogayne:** cool same

**kogayne:** how’s english going

**lanceylance:** we’re starting a unit on *greek* mythology, and hunk, shay, and i decided to do our project on the “evildoers”

**kogayne:** TELL ME THEY DIDN’T INCLUDE HADES

**lanceylance:** they included hades

**kogayne:** HADES IS MISUNDERSTOOD FUCKING DAMMIT

**kogayne:** I’M GOING TO HAVE WORDS WITH THACE NEXT PERIOD

**lanceylance:** should i warn him

**kogayne:** no

**lanceylance:** also, i lowkey disagree w you, bc that myth w persephone ,,,

**kogayne:** OKAY LISTEN THERE ARE DIFFERENT VARIATIONS OF THAT MYTH

**lanceylance:** BUT THE NONCON ONES

**kogayne:** BUT THE CON ONES

**lanceylance:** HHHH KEITH DON’T MAKE ME SIDE AGAINST YOU

**kogayne:** TOO LATE MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** YOU’VE FORCED MY HAND

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** IS HADES EVIL OR MISUNDERSTOOD

**carrierpidgeon:** hades is misunderstood, i will bring out every book on mythology i can find to prove it

**hunkerdunker:** hades is misunderstood

**shayfromstatefarm:** the one instance i can think of where hades is a bad guy is the persephone myth, but even then, there are versions where she went willingly

**mattata:** she literally gave the middle finger to the gods and eloped with hades

**allurable:** she’s life’s daughter and death’s bride, how much more badass can you get

**kogayne:** well actually thanatos was the god of death but otherwise yes the point still stands THANK YOU 

**takashmeoutside:** there are days i regret opening the group chat

**takashmeoutside:** this is one of them

**kogayne:** takashi, dearest cousin of mine,

**takashmeoutside:** if i say he was misunderstood will you leave me alone

**lanceylance:** I FEEL BETRAYED

**kogayne:** GIVE UP LANCE HE’S MISUNDERSTOOD

**lanceylance:** THE GUY RULED THE LAND OF THE  D E A D

**kogayne:** NOT BY CHOICE, HE LITERALLY DREW THE SHORT STRAW BECAUSE HIS BROTHERS WERE DICKS

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t i know that feeling

**kogayne:** AS PLUTO HE’S THE GOD OF WEALTH

**lanceylance:** G R E E D

**kogayne:** HE’S A JUST RULER DAMMIT

**kogayne:** WHEN EURYDICE DIED, ORPHEUS WENT TO THE UNDERWORLD AND PLAYED SUCH NICE MUSIC THAT HADES CRIED AND LET EURYDICE GO FREE

**lanceylance:** YEAH BUT THEN HE CHANGED HIS MIND RIGHT WHEN THEY GOT TO FREEDOM

**kogayne:** BECAUSE ORPHEUS COULDN’T FOLLOW ONE SIMPLE RULE TO NOT LOOK BACK UNTIL THEY WERE BOTH AT THE SURFACE

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED AND IN LOVE

**kogayne:** LANCE I SWEAR IF THAT WAS US AND I WAS EURYDICE I WOULD ASK HADES TO LET ME FREE TO FUCKING HAUNT YOUR ASS

**lanceylance:** HE COULD HAVE JUST LET EURYDICE STAY ALIVE

**kogayne:** THE POINT WAS THAT HUMANS ARE MORONS

**lanceylance:** WHAT ABOUT SISYPHUS THEN

**kogayne:** HE WAS A TRICKSTER WHO TRIED TO GET RID OF DEATH, DO YOU KNOW HOW OVERPOPULATED THIS WORLD WOULD BE WITHOUT DEATH

**lanceylance:** HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** HE EVEN HAS A FUCKING THREE-HEADED DOG WHOSE NAME COULD POTENTIALLY TRANSLATE TO “SPOTTED” HIS DOG’S NAME IS FUCKING /SPOT/

**lanceylance:** OR IT COULD MEAN “DEATH-DAEMON OF THE DARK” HOW IS THAT NOT EVIL

**kogayne:** WTF THAT’S NOT EVIL THAT’S JUST REALLY BROODY AND EDGY, HE’S JUST A LONELY EDGELORD, LANCE, HE’S DOING HIS BEST

**lanceylance:** AND YOU WOULD KNOW, WOULDN’T YOU

**kogayne:** TAKE IT BACK MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** MAKE ME

**hunkerdunker:** oh no

**kogayne:** MAKE YOU? AIGHT BET

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance why

**hunkerdunker:** i wonder if today’s the day thace gets fired

**carrierpidgeon:** can someone videotape this confrontation

**shayfromstatefarm:** thace knows something is up, he’s raising his eyebrows at me and hunk

**hunkerdunker:** paul morvok has taken notice and is on edge

**takashmeoutside:** oh for fuck’s sake

**hunkerdunker:** update thace is making his way to lance

**hunkerdunker:** HYPOLY SHITIY

**allurable:** WHAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** “if keith is on his way here, can you two kindly do whatever it is you need to do in the hallway or in another teacher’s classroom? i’ll write you a pass, just not in my room again.”

**takashmeoutside:** w h y

**mattata:** AN ICONIC POWER COUPLE

**allurable:** bonnie and clyde, high school edition

**lanceylance:** WHY ARE YOU ALL ACTING LIKE WE’RE JUV

**lanceylance:** OH HEY IT’S KEITH BRB

**carrierpidgeon:** damn so no footage of them being FUCKING WEIRD

**takashmeoutside:** not that big of a loss tbh

**carrierpidgeon:** yes, thank you, captain obvious

**mattata:** hey no one calls him out for being oblivious but me

**allurable:** and me

**mattata:** but i do it better

**allurable:** excuse me, i do /everything/ better than /everyone/

**takashmeoutside:** no one can top allura tbh

**mattata:** shit she’s right

**allurable:** i betcha in lance’s dream, if i’d been that leader paladin or whatever (the black one, right?) i would’ve kicked that entire empire’s ass in like 5 minutes

**takashmeoutside:** thank you, yes, pls be the black paladin, i don’t wanna lead, i’m so tired, i have five children to raise

**mattata:** i thought you weren’t a dad

**takashmeoutside:** the alternative is that you’re their daddy and i can’t leave them to that fate

**mattata:** :O

**allurable:** if you have five children then how do hunk and shay,,,, and lance and keith,,,,

**takashmeoutside:** lance and hunk wormed their way into this family and now i can’t shake them

**hunkerdunker:** WOW

**takashmeoutside:** hunk you’re a gem and i’m glad you’re here, you and shay definitely have my blessing

**shayfromstatefarm:** why did that take so long, dad, 

**takashmeoutside:** I’VE BEEN SO BUSY

**carrierpidgeon:** #LetShiroRest2k17

 

**_allurable > takashmeoutside_ **

**allurable:** what’s bothering you, kashi

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know

**takashmeoutside:** i’m just having a really rough morning, i’m so exhausted

**takashmeoutside:** it’s been a really wild week

**allurable:** things will get better

**allurable:** is there anything i can help with? 

**takashmeoutside:** no, no, it’s okay

**allurable:** i don’t believe you

**allurable:** takashi

**takashmeoutside:** really, i’m serious, you don’t need to do anything

**allurable:** too late

**takashmeoutside:** what are you planning

**allurable:** nothing

 

**_allurable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** our boy is suffering

_ (2) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**mattata:** what do i need to do

**allurable:** get to the brogane house asap, bring painkillers and blankets

**allurable:** i’m running to the store for ice cream

**mattata:** lemme just browse netflix for some shitty romcom first

**allurable:** excellent

**mattata:** see u soon, hermione  <3

**allurable:** right back atcha potter  <3

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**hunkerdunker:** lance, are you done sucking keith’s face yet

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re still gone??? jeez it’s been like 10 minutes

**hunkerdunker:** if they don’t come back soon then thace is gonna have to give them detention

**hunkerdunker:** AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT ENDED LAST TIME, I DON’T WANT TO SEE THEM SUFFER LIKE THAT AGAIN

**hunkerdunker:** KLANCE WOULD YOU PLEASE PICK UP A PHONE

**lanceylance:** i’m coming i’m coming

**carrierpidgeon:** oh really now

**lanceylance:** i’m in c wi

**lanceylance:** WAIT A MINUTE

**carrierpidgeon:** *wait for it*

**lanceylance:** PIDGE WHAT THE FUCK

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m speechless

**carrierpidgeon:** good thing this is a text conversation then

**kogayne:** oh holy fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** was it?

**kogayne:** I NEED A MINUTE

**lanceylance:** leave it to the asexual to be the first one to make sex jokes

**hunkerdunker:** it was a void you left behind, now look what you’ve done

**carrierpidgeon:** [wiggles eyebrows]

**carrierpidgeon:** so what happened while you two were gooooone

**lanceylance:** OKAY HOLD UP WHEN WE’RE GROSS IN THE GROUP CHAT ON OUR OWN YOU CALL US OUT, BUT NOW YOU DEMAND TO KNOW

**lanceylance:** A TRUE GREMLIN

**kogayne:** are you ever just violently reminded that pidge is still matt holt’s little sister

**carrierpidgeon:** holts gotta stick together

**carrierpidgeon:** but seriously what the hell did you two do that lasted ten minutes

**hunkerdunker:** lance i swear 

**lanceylance:** WE JUST,,,,,

**lanceylance:** LISTEN WE DIDN’T DO IT IN THE BATHROOM IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE IMPLYING

**kogayne:** (we didn’t do it at  a l l  school’s not the place for it)

**shayfromstatefarm:** the fact that your reasoning is that school isn’t the place for it

**kogayne:** I JUST PERSUADED HIM THAT HADES IS A MISUNDERSTOOD EDGELORD

**hunkerdunker:** “persuaded”

**lanceylance:** he’s,,,,,,, very persuasive

**hunkerdunker:** fucking criminy you know what can we drop this subject

**shayfromstatefarm:** can i drop every class i have with them

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t wait to use these screenshots as blackmail one day

**kogayne:** AH, she has a motive, that makes more sense

**kogayne:** shIT RYNER’S ON MY CASE BYE

 

**_hunkerdunker > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**hunkerdunker:** lance’s neck

**hunkerdunker:** you see it too, right

**shayfromstatefarm:** i really wish i could unsee it

**shayfromstatefarm:** now we have to live with this knowledge

**hunkerdunker:** omfg you know who else sees it

**shayfromstatefarm:** you mean aside from thace?

**hunkerdunker:** THACE HOLY SHTIT ADFKGEJWHFJRED

**hunkerdunker:** YEAH ASIDE FROM THACE TURN AROUND

**shayfromstatefarm:** ho myog hsod

**shayfromstatefarm:** what are the odds he tries to start something at lunch

**hunkerdunker:** 0, i just have to give him one look

**shayfromstatefarm:** i don’t know, i’m skeptical, he’s hardheaded

**hunkerdunker:** u right

**hunkerdunker:** so on a scale of 1 to 10….solid 4.

**shayfromstatefarm:** that seems more likely

 

**_allurable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** you got the stuff?

**mattata:** why yes i do, headed on over to see space dad as we speak

**allurable:** so if he’s space dad

**mattata:** space mom and space Daddy™

**allurable:** why did we get together again

**mattata:** remember that one party

**allurable:** oh shit and

**allurable:** yep yep i remember now, did i ever properly thank you for that

**mattata:** you can later ;)

**allurable:** (¬､¬)

**mattata:** ಠ◡ಠ

**allurable:** h o l t

**mattata:** a l t e a

**allurable:** see u soon, weirdo

**mattata:** and you, your royal uptightness

 

**_mattata > kogayne_ **

**mattata:** HEYYYY KEITH

**kogayne:** what did you do

**mattata:** more like what allura and i are doing

**kogayne:** is it really a “what” or is it a “who”

**mattata:** didn’t you guys just call out pidge in the gc

**kogayne:** why are you texting me holt

**mattata:** do you know what’s up with shiro??? he doesn’t know himself and i was wondering if you figured anything out

**kogayne:** depressive episode maybe? idk, he just gets moods sometimes, like lance does

**mattata:** okay then well you see here’s the thing,

**kogayne:** did you accidentally hurt him

**mattata:** wh

**mattata:** NO

**mattata:** HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN ME, KEITHY

**kogayne:** 1\. don’t call me that

**kogayne:** 2\. remember back during september, with me and lance,,,,

**mattata:** okay fair point

**mattata:** also i’ll respect the keithy thing but???? is there a specific reason u don’t like that name????

**kogayne:** i mean i’d be okay if lance used it but it,,, makes me feel rlly weird bc i got it sophomore year,,,,,,,,,,, from you know who,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

**mattata:** oh shit shit shit sorry okay whatever

**mattata:** the point of me texting is that allura and i are gonna be at your house with shiro this afternoon, 

**kogayne:** you guys want me out of the house don’t you

**mattata:** well /no/, i was just warning you ahead of time, but it would be niiiiiiiiiice….????

**kogayne:** eh, whatever, i needed a good excuse to hang out with lance anyway

**mattata:** don’t you hang out with him even when you don’t have a good excuse?

**kogayne:** semantics

**mattata:** are you even using that word correctly

**kogayne:** s e m a n t i c s

**mattata:** okay then good talk have a good rest of your school day

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** YOU FUCKING BRANDED ME

**kogayne:** it took you this long

**lanceylance:** BRANDED ME, KOGANE

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "leave it to the asexual to make sex jokes" is an actual thing someone said to me once
> 
> also the "daughter of life bride of death" line isn't mine, i was texting my friend (who also loves mythology) while i was writing this chapter, so shoutout to [beatrice](http://archiveofourown.org/users/periphvna) for being a gem and coming up with a lovely line
> 
> i'm gonna actually try and bang out chapter 16 of stars go down while i ignore all of my impending assignments, byeee


	27. so much ~drama~ can you all chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance gets harassed by keith's ex; allura and matt help shiro work through his problem...sort of; more broganes; klance is fighting??? what????? can it bE?????; pidge, hunk, and shay are the only calm ones left, pls protect them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo so i have some stories for the end note my guys  
> my friend and i are convinced i'm a fucking seer  
> anyway  
>  **trigger warning for sexual harassment (verbal only--use of s-slur and w-slur)**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey random question HOW DID WE MAKE SO MANY ENEMIES AT THIS SCHOOL

**kogayne:** well i mean there was our rivalry freshman year where like, half the school took sides and started bets

**kogayne:** that whole Thing sophomore year

**kogayne:** and then us being weird junior year w how new our relationship was the first six months

**kogayne:** and then our over the top PDA this year

**kogayne:** why

**kogayne:** did someone hurt you

**kogayne:** who was it

**lanceylance:** ...he-who-must-not-be-named harassed me this morning

**lanceylance:** i didn’t feel like telling you before psych bc you looked so happy to see me

**kogayne:** what the FUCK

**lanceylance:** apparently he’s allied himself with paul

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** he came at me, but there were some...nasty things he said about you

**lanceylance:** and about your relationship sophomore year

**lanceylance:** about things you would and wouldn’t do

**lanceylance:** idk, it was weird

**lanceylance:** he was alternating between trying to make me jealous and dragging the shit out of you and dragging the shit out of me

**kogayne:** did he bring up she-who-must-not-be-named

**lanceylance:** no, but she was waiting around the corner for him, watching the whole fucking thing

**kogayne:** lance oh my god

**kogayne:** did he touch you at all???

**lanceylance:** no, but he did that thing

**kogayne:** what thing

**lanceylance:** you know in the movies, how the bully will box a kid in against a locker or wall or something with their arms and assert their height

**lanceylance:** he did that thing

**kogayne:** i want murder

**kogayne:** if he has a problem with me, then he can get in MY face

**kogayne:** i don’t give a SHIT if he comes at me

**kogayne:** but i draw the line when you get shit for things i did

**lanceylance:** he also,,,, said some stuff…..about me…….that apparently SHE told him…

**kogayne:** whatever was said, they’re wrong

**lanceylance:** hhhhhhhhh 

**kogayne:** on a scale of 1 to 10 how close to a breakdown are you

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAA I DUNNO, LIKE 4? NOT THAT BAD

**lanceylance:** i felt better seeing you right afterward, it kind of made everything go away, but thinking about it now,,,,

**kogayne:** do you wanna tell me what they said?

**kogayne:** or is it too much?

**lanceylance:** it’s nothing i haven’t heard before

**kogayne:** it still doesn’t make it okay

**lanceylance:** he called me a sl*t and “kogane’s wh*re”

**kogayne:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

**lanceylance:** he also added that he expected u to be in my position, and then alluded to some nasty things in your relationship

**kogayne:** that’s it i’m actually going to commit murder

**kogayne:** first of all, slut-shaming is ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT

**kogayne:** SECOND OF ALL, NO ONE CALLS YOU THOSE THINGS, OKAY??

**kogayne:** YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND INTELLIGENT AND SOMEONE WHO CARES DEEPLY AND YOU’RE NOT AFRAID TO BE EMOTIONAL OR SHOW YOUR LOVE AND ANYONE HERE WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU

**lanceylance:** why aren’t you standing up for yourself

**lanceylance:** don’t pretend this doesn’t bother you, that he would demonize and demean you, too

**lanceylance:** you’re strong and brave and kickass and you care a lot too, keith, and you’re a lot more than the things he called you that i don’t want to say

**kogayne:** HHHHHHHHHHHH

**lanceylance:** and you say anyone would be lucky to have me, and i guess you’re right, but there’s only one person i want to have me :)

**kogayne:** i fucking love you

**lanceylance:** i love you too 

**kogayne:** but also i’m sorry

**lanceylance:** nonononononono

**kogayne:** it’s my fault for yesterday

**lanceylance:** NONONONONO DON’T APOLOGIZE

**lanceylance:** I DID NOT AND WILL NOT BLAME YOU

**lanceylance:** I LOVE BEING MUSHY AND GROSS WITH YOU AND I’LL TAKE FLACK FROM ROLL-ON DEODORANT AND NIKE-KNOCKOFFS ANY DAY

**kogayne:** ROLL-ON DEODORANT AHSJFJFLSLF

**kogayne:** you’re the wORST 

**lanceylance:** ;)

 

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ and  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ to  _ **_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**hunkerdunker:** what’s this about

**carrierpidgeon:** some kind of aggressive-depressive plague has descended upon the broganes

**carrierpidgeon:** the disease is spreading

**carrierpidgeon:** matt, allura, and lance have all fallen victim

**shayfromstatefarm:** is this about what happened with lance, rolo, and nyma this morning

**hunkerdunker:** and about shiro being weird in the gc yesterday

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** according to matt, keith said he thinks shiro’s just having a depressive episode, but matt and allura are convinced there’s some root cause that they can assuage

**carrierpidgeon:** and keith stopped at my locker on his way to calc to explain to me what lance told him about what went down, but i haven’t actually talked to lance

**hunkerdunker:** we’re in class with lance now, we can ask…?

**carrierpidgeon:** if you want to, be my guest

**carrierpidgeon:** right now, all i’m saying? i think everyone is a little on edge today

**carrierpidgeon:** obviously lance is more bothered than he’s letting on

**carrierpidgeon:** keith wants murder

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro’s in a mood

**carrierpidgeon:** and allura and matt are freaking out

**carrierpidgeon:** all of this is making mE FREAK OUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** shhh shh pidge breathe, you’re okay, worry your little sophomore head about your lab, we can handle the rest of the group

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ ,  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ , and  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ to  _ **_STOP CAPTAIN DOOFUS 2K17_ **

**lanceylance:** i shouldn’t have said anything to keith

**lanceylance:** he’s on the warpath

**lanceylance:** he’s gonna get expelled, and then the garrison school at arus won’t take him, so we can’t be roommates, we can’t even go to the same college, none of his top safeties will take him, and then he’s gonna be miserable during the school year without me, and then i can’t be there for him

**hunkerdunker:** you need to breathe

**hunkerdunker:** what happened

**lanceylance:** okay so i already told hunk and shay and you guys said keith told pidge??? that i got harassed by rolo this morning?? yeah well i told keith, and i didn’t even tell him *everything*, and now he wants to commit murder

**lanceylance:** i kNEW IT i KNEW telling him would be a bad idea

**lanceylance:** why did i tell him

**shayfromstatefarm:** because you were exercising a healthy relationship by openly communicating about any situation that may cause problems, instead of bottling everything up for the sake of appearing strong to your partner and not hurting them

**lanceylance:** ...that’s deep

**shayfromstatefarm:** not really it’s pretty basic actually

**lanceylance:** well okay then

**lanceylance:** how do i stop him

**hunkerdunker:** ask him to?

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^ if he respects your boundaries he’ll stop

**lanceylance:** hhhh yeah you’re right

 

**_allurable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** did you sleep over at the brogane house?

**mattata:** yes i did, shiro’s still in a mood

**allurable:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GREAT FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE

**allurable:** what

**allurable:** triggered

**allurable:** it

**mattata:** i have a feeling it has to do with keith

**mattata:** but i think keith and lance are dealing with their own problems right now, so i won’t ask him

**mattata:** i feel like it has to do with the accident

**allurable:** oh no :(

**mattata:** i really wish i hadn’t brought it up in the gc the other day

**mattata:** apparently keith said something to him, about being the reason for our college breakup, and now shiro feels awful

**allurable:** fucking guilt

**allurable:** does keith know

**mattata:** keith kogane, obliviousness extraordinaire

**mattata:** i’m thinking no

**mattata:** i’m also thinking his problems are distracting him from realizing and shiro doesn’t wanna say anything

**allurable:** jiminy christmas can anyone in this group communicate

**mattata:** okay, actually, /yes/, 

**allurable:** yeah i know i didn’t mean it but

**allurable:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** i’m having violent flashbacks to you showing up to visit my freshman year of college

**allurable:** SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL WAS STRESSFUL

**mattata:** yeah, and that’s what half the group chat is going through now

**mattata:** and the other half doesn’t wanna add onto that stress

**allurable:** okay but we need to dO SOMETHING, SHIRO CAN’T INTERNALIZE

**mattata:** it’s time to take action

**allurable:** okay but let’s not make him feel like we’re ganging up on him

 

**_mattata_ ** _ added  _ **_allurable_ ** _ and  _ **_takashmeoutside_ ** _ to  _ **_< 3_ **

**allurable:** hey shiro

**allurable:** how you feeling?

**takashmeoutside:** awful

**allurable:** you wanna talk about it?

**takashmeoutside:** is this some therapy session

**mattata:** yes siree

**mattata:** sit on this couch and tell me about your problems

**mattata:** [expectantly whips out notepad]

**allurable:** have you determined anything within the last day that may be contributing to your mood?

**takashmeoutside:** i feel like i haven’t been doing enough for keith

**allurable:** mm?

**takashmeoutside:** he told me the other day that he feels like a burden sometimes

**takashmeoutside:** i have never intended to make him feel this way

**takashmeoutside:** what do i do

**allurable:** have you assured him he’s not a burden?

**takashmeoutside:** yes

_ (3) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** he’s been through so much and i feel awful that i’m just making him feel worse

**takashmeoutside:** he didn’t even come home yesterday, just told me he was going to spend the night at lance’s

**mattata:** oh

**mattata:** he wasn’t avoiding you, we asked him to let us have a night with you

**mattata:** i’m sorry, i didn’t realize

**takashmeoutside:** ...really?

**allurable:** if we’d known, we wouldn’t have asked him

**takashmeoutside:** it’s alright

**takashmeoutside:** i need to talk to him though

**allurable:** why don’t you text him at some point today?

**takashmeoutside:** i’m going to right now

 

**_allurable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** OH BOY

**mattata:** OH BOY

**allurable:** HOPE AND PRAY FOR THE BEST

**mattata:** pray keith doesn’t blow up on shiro for something shiro had nothing to do with

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** hey

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** you okay?

**kogayne:** I AM GOING TO COMMIT MURDER

**takashmeoutside:** what happened?

**kogayne:** FUCKING ROLO AND NYMA GANGED UP ON LANCE THIS MORNING AND SAID SHIT TO HIM

**takashmeoutside:** is he okay?

**kogayne:** HE SAYS HE IS AND I DON’T BELIEVE HIM

**kogayne:** I’M PISSED

**takashmeoutside:** are they the only people you’re pissed at?

**kogayne:** ...YEs...why

**takashmeoutside:** i want to apologize

**kogayne:** for wha

**kogayne:** oh

**kogayne:** you don’t need to apologize??? 

**takashmeoutside:** i do

**takashmeoutside:** i just need to make sure you’re okay

**takashmeoutside:** i’m sorry you’ve been feeling like a burden, and i’m sorry i didn’t realize you felt that way

**takashmeoutside:** i wish i’d realized sooner, so i could’ve helped you

**kogayne:** seriously, it’s okay

**kogayne:** is this what’s been eating at you?

**takashmeoutside:** ...yeah

**kogayne:** it’s nothing, really

**kogayne:** i’m okay

**kogayne:** aside from being two seconds away from committing murder

**kogayne:** go snuggle with matt and allura, and i’ll text you later

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** try not to commit murder please

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** can you guys come back over?

**allurable:** of course

**mattata:** i’m omw

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** keith

**lanceylance:** you need to calm down

**lanceylance:** seriously, i’m not /that/ shaken up

**kogayne:** i can’t just ignore what they said to you

**lanceylance:** no, stop.

**lanceylance:** listen to me.

**lanceylance:** i don’t need you fighting on my behalf, especially since they’re buddy-buddy with paul morvok. 

**lanceylance:** seriously.

**kogayne:** ………

**lanceylance:** you know i love you

**lanceylance:** i don’t want to see you get hurt or expelled on my behalf

**kogayne:** so you’re just going to let them get away with it?

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** i don’t want to stoke the fire, i’d rather just let it burn itself out

**kogayne:** why can’t you let me do this for you

**lanceylance:** it’s my battle to fight

**lanceylance:** i’d rather let them suffer, waiting for a response to fling back in my face, than give them ammo

**kogayne:** but if we fire hard enough, they have nothing to fight back with

**lanceylance:** keith.

**lanceylance:** i’ve made up my mind.

**lanceylance:** are you going to respect my decision or not?

**kogayne:** ...fine

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** i love you

**kogayne:** you too

**lanceylance:** aw, don’t go all mr. grumpypants on me

**lanceylance:** keeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiith

**lanceylance:** keith?

**lanceylance:** babe, come on

**lanceylance:** starlight, sun to my moon, day to my night, boxers to my briefs,,,

**kogayne:** i’m not happy with your decision

**lanceylance:** so you’re just gonna ignore me??

**lanceylance:** i know you’re better than this

**lanceylance:** are we really gonna let he-who-must-not-be-named ruin senior year??

**lanceylance:** ?????

**kogayne:** i’m sorry shit i’m sorry fuckfigifndbwosoanabs

**kogayne:** i’m

**kogayne:** nvm there’s no excuse, i’m sorry

**lanceylance:** it’s alright

**kogayne:** no, it’s not, i don’t have any right to do that to you for no reason other than i’m being ridiculous

**kogayne:** i’m sorry

**lanceylance:** i feel like you need a hug, as soon as we get to lunch, that’s what you’re getting

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**kogayne:** so i was walking out of last period, right

**lanceylance:** i;m DITYNH 

**kogayne:** lance and i are just trying to make our way down the stairs, and these two freshmen just start LITERALLY SHOVING EACH OTHER DOWN THE STAIRS

**carrierpidgeon:** fucking freshmen

**kogayne:** and normally i make remarks about people but this time i was too loud

**lanceylance:** PFFFFFFFF

**kogayne:** i go “can we be fucking mature maybe” and they bOTH WHIP AROUND AND LOOK AT ME

**kogayne:** AND ONE OF THEM STUDIES ME AND GOES

**kogayne:** “fucking emo”

**kogayne:** AND THEY WALK AWAY

**lanceylance:** OADFJREKSGRELJGRESLFGKTRIEO

**kogayne:** JUST BECAUSE I’M WEARING ALL BLACK

**kogayne:** AND COMBAT BOOTS

**kogayne:** a-and my jean jacket…

**kogayne:** oh my god

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M YLEINTNH 

**hunkerdunker:** lance you’re dating an emo congratulations

**lanceylance:** holy shit i had no idea

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m amazed he made it to senior year and this is the first he’s been called out publicly

**shayfromstatefarm:** by someone who isn’t in this group chat

**kogayne:** HHHHHNNNNN

**kogayne:** GOTTA GO

**lanceylance:** have fun at the doctor’s, send me cute snaps of your face  <3

**lanceylance:** AS FOR THE REST OF YOU GREMLINS, WHO’S COMING TO GSA

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll be there as soon as TSA is over

**lanceylance:** choosing your nerd club over the gays, i see how it is

**hunkerdunker:** ...i was about to agree with her

**lanceylance:** HUNK I FEEL BETRAYED

**lanceylance:** SHAY CAN I COUNT ON YOU TO BE THERE

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep!!! waiting on you!

**lanceylance:** I’M COMIN

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** this is a stupid question but um

**lanceylance:** my car door

**lanceylance:** the thing that holds the door shut?? the lock???? it’s stuck

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** pidge did something, she was fucking around with the door to try and turn off the child lock, and she got the actual lock stuck

**kogayne:** w h a t

**kogayne:** what the fuck

**lanceylance:** keith the door won’t shut and now me pidge and hunk look like idiots, screwing around with my car in the parking lot

**lanceylance:** help pls we’ve been here for ten minutes

**lanceylance:** the dOOR WON’T SHUT HOW DO I DRIVE THEM HOME WHEN THE DOOR WON’T SHUT

**kogayne:** hold on i’m still not over the fact that you managed to somehow break your door

**kogayne:** hunk and pidge are engineering nerds

**kogayne:** all three of you are ap students

**lanceylance:** not pidge

**kogayne:** if she was a junior or senior she’d be an ap student, shut up

**kogayne:** and somehow, you’ve been there for TEN MINUTES TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT

**lanceylance:** HELP ME OUT HERE KEITH

**lanceylance:** wAIT HOLD UP

**lanceylance:** PIDGE GOT IT YES

**kogayne:** how

**lanceylance:** hunk goes “maybe the door thinks it’s shut” so pidge fUCKING PULLED ON THE DOOR HANDLE WHY DID NONE OF US THINK OF THAT

**kogayne:** YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU ALL SPENT TEN MINUTES TRYING TO FIX YOUR DOOR AND NO ONE THOUGHT TO PULL ON THE HANDLE

**lanceylance:** SHUT UP KEITH

**kogayne:** AP STUDENTS LANCE

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GOTTA GO I GOTTA BRING PIDGE AND HUNK HOME

**lanceylance:** I’LL TEXT YOU, HUNK, AND SHAY LATER FOR THIS LAB

**kogayne:** what an idiot

**lanceylance:** RUDE

**kogayne:** <3

**lanceylance:** ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮

**kogayne:** :O

**lanceylance:** jk  <3 (not really but anyway)

**kogayne:** that’s it

**kogayne:** i’m coming over

**lanceylance:** ooooo i’m sooo scared

**lanceylance:** what are you gonna do abt it kogane

**kogayne:** you’ll see

**lanceylance:** ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo so that section with keith and lance, where keith wants to commit murder??? and lance is like "sit the fuck down"???? i wrote that last night and then third period today, and then fourth period i found out one of my ex-friends has been talking shit, and one of my best friends wanted to throw hands, and i had to calm her down, i was like,,,, whoa
> 
> also that thing with keith on the stairs....actually happened to me today.....i feel atTACKED 
> 
> and that car door thing? also happened today
> 
> today's been a Day
> 
> if i don't have the next chapter of stars go down up tonight, pls punch me in the face as hard as you can


	28. nuggs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's audition day; pidge wants nuggs and is willing to sabotage lance to get them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i waited so long for my director to tell us what the fall play at school is so i could work it into this fanfic
> 
> i might write a multichapter fanfic set in this universe of just theatre shenanigans, bc i've had an outline for a klance theatre au sitting in my documents since july, but if i do that, it probably won't be till december or january, once the show happens so i can write down all the wild shit that actually happens backstage
> 
> anyway this chapter is shorter and sillier than some of the more recent ones

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** TODAY’S THE DAY

**takashmeoutside:** should i even ask

**lanceylance:** IT’S AUDITION DAYYYYYYY

**lanceylance:** THE DRAMA CLUB IS FINALLY BACK IN ACTION

**allurable:** ooh!! what’s the show this year???

**lanceylance:** THE ODD COUPLE, FEMALE VERSION

**lanceylance:** the second gayest club in the school gets the gay show

**hunkerdunker:** aren’t both of the main characters straight

**lanceylance:** they could be bi or pan or ace, you never know

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY you all know i could nail either of the costazuela brothers

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**kogayne:** that means you’re gonna have to flirt with whoever gets olive and flo

**lanceylance:** you jealous, kogane? ;)

**kogayne:** depends on who’s auditioning, who knows, someone could have a chance

**lanceylance:** aw, babe, 

**kogayne:** i might just have to brand you again

**carrierpidgeon:** IT IS THIRD PERIOD, AGAIN WITH THIS SHIT

**shayfromstatefarm:** hey keith what if i get one of those roles

**kogayne:** i’ll be okay, because i know that hunk will kill lance if he tries anything

**hunkerdunker:** shay and i are very committed to each other, thank you

**shayfromstatefarm:** :)

**lanceylance:** y’all need to relax, captain doofus over here is the only one for me

**lanceylance:** and i don’t intrude on committed couples, cmon guys, romance is very important to me

**lanceylance:** if there’s one thing my mom taught me, it is how to love

**lanceylance:** AND I LOVE KEITH KOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE

**kogayne:** [clutches chest] 

**mattata:** come on, we all know keith is doing crew to watch over lance anyway

**mattata:** and if he’s anything like shiro was ;))))

**takashmeoutside:** i’m being exposed police help police

**carrierpidgeon:** what’s he implying, i’m not privy to this information

**allurable:** i think he’s talking about the time that they made out in the wood closet

**allurable:** and every dark corner they could find

**allurable:** they would do it in the middle of the shows

**mattata:** this one time shiro moaned

**takashmeoutside:** ENOUGH

**mattata:** someone in the front row heard him and recognized his voice

**carrierpidgeon:** how often did shiro moan for someone to recognize it as distinctly shiro’s, from the front row, in the middle of the show

**mattata:** ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** you know what i’m sorry i asked

**takashmeoutside:** yeah me too

**lanceylance:** as much as i flaunt keith literally everywhere we’re not even that bad

**hunkerdunker:** may i remind you that i have been subjected to seeing you guys rough-kiss during thace’s class

**hunkerdunker:** more than once

**shayfromstatefarm:** and it’s a class /keith’s not even in/

**hunkerdunker:** and thace has had to literally send you out of the room

**lanceylance:** OKAY LISTEN

**lanceylance:** AT LEAST I HAVE RESPECT FOR THEATRE

**lanceylance:** AT LEAST I KNOW THAT YOU ARE  S I L E N T  IN THE WINGS

**carrierpidgeon:** sometimes it amazes me you go that long without talking

**lanceylance:** i am Offended

**lanceylance:** i can go plenty of time without talking

**carrierpidgeon:** wanna fucking bet

**lanceylance:** YOU WANNA GO

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW LONG CAN YOU GO WITHOUT TEXTING THIS GROUP CHAT

**lanceylance:** ALL. DAMN. DAY.

**kogayne:** oh boy here we go

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU CAN’T TEXT THIS GROUP CHAT, OR ANY GROUP CHAT, ONLY INDIVIDUALS

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU HAVE THE REST OF THE DAY UNTIL MIDNIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU IN?

**lanceylance:** AND IF I LOSE?

**carrierpidgeon:** winner gets free wendy’s nuggs from the loser for a week

**lanceylance:** fair enough, gAME ON, SEE YOU GUYS IN FOURTEEN HOURS

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey auditions start in fifteen minutes

**lanceylance:** remember what i said like,,,, two-ish weeks ago

**kogayne:** about………………?

**lanceylance:** wood closet

**kogayne:** ...omw

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i went to go find keith for the first crew meeting and

_ (4) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**mattata:** omfg

**takashmeoutside:** they actually went through with the cuddling

**allurable:** SOMEONE PRINT THOSE FOR THEIR CHRISTMAS CARDS, THIS IS PURE

**kogayne:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** HELLO KEITH, YOU HAVE NO BOYFRIEND FOR BACKUP, SURRENDER NOW

**shayfromstatefarm:** be strong keith

**allurable:** be strong for mother

**kogayne:** YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM

**allurable:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** keith that’s no way to talk to your mother

**kogayne:** anyway,,,,,,

**kogayne:** how dare you take those cute pictures and not send them to me first

**carrierpidgeon:** WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KEITH KOGANE

**takashmeoutside:** how many times are we going to shame keith for being soft

**kogayne:** YEAH GUYS I HAVE A HEART??? I’M NOT AN “EMO” ALL THE TIME??????

**kogayne:** i’m just in a relationship with lance, he’s kind of hard to top in terms of enthusiasm

**kogayne:** doesn’t mean i love him any less

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m reading the gc and internally screaming

**lanceylance:** scratch that i’m externally screaming

**hunkerdunker:** how were auditions???

**lanceylance:** mmmmm i see how it is, change the subject right away

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY AUDITIONS WENT REALLY WELL

**lanceylance:** the director said i did a “tremendous” job and a bunch of stuff that i think he only half-believed himself

**hunkerdunker:** hey don’t sell yourself short

**hunkerdunker:** i’m sure you’ll land one of the lead guys

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** are you gonna audition tomorrow???

**hunkerdunker:** ...yeah, i mean, i guess, no harm in that

**hunkerdunker:** what’s the worst that happens, i don’t get a role and i turn to one of my other several clubs to keep busy?

**lanceylance:** THAT’S THE SPIRIT

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I NEED YOU TO HELP ME

**kogayne:** what

**carrierpidgeon:** WE’VE GOT HALF AN HOUR TILL MIDNIGHT AND LANCE HASN’T LOST THE BET YET

**kogayne:** are you asking me to sabotage my boyfriend

**carrierpidgeon:** I NEED THOSE NUGGS KOGANE

**kogayne:** sorry, no can do

**carrierpidgeon:** FAKE FRIEND

**kogayne:** LOYAL BOYFRIEND

**carrierpidgeon:** lance has been a Bad Influence on you

 

**_carrierpidgeon > hunkerdunker_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I NEED YOU TO HELP ME

**hunkerdunker:** pidge please just one night i didn’t have any homework i was about to go to bed

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M ABOUT TO LOSE OUT ON A WEEK’S WORTH OF FREE NUGGS IF LANCE DOESN’T TALK IN A GROUP CHAT IN THE NEXT TWENTY-SEVEN MINUTES

**hunkerdunker:** why not just have keith help you

**hunkerdunker:** lance’ll listen to keith

**carrierpidgeon:** I ALREADY  T R I E D  THAT KEITH WON’T BUDGE

**hunkerdunker:** aw how sweet

**hunkerdunker:** sorry pidgey, i’m going to sleep

**carrierpidgeon:** UGH HUNK

 

**_carrierpidgeon > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I NEED YOU TO HELP ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** is this about the nuggets

**carrierpidgeon:** YES

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh, okay

**shayfromstatefarm:** well i got a text from hunk saying to tell you “no” on the “nugget thing”

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE TWENTY-FOUR MINUTES TILL I LOSE OUT ON FREE NUGGS

**shayfromstatefarm:** have you tried asking keith to help you

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE TAKE ME FOR

**carrierpidgeon:** OF COURSE I ASKED KEITH, I ASKED HIM FIRST

**carrierpidgeon:** /AND HE SAID NO, JUST LIKE THE REST OF YOU TRAITORS/

 

**_WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** ANY ONE OF YOU, I’M DESPERATE, I HAVE 20 MINUTES BEFORE I LOSE OUT ON FREE NUGGS

**carrierpidgeon:** SOMEONE HELP ME SABOTAGE LANCE IN THE GROUP CHAT

**mattata:** normally i would but the only ways i can think of to get him to speak are too mean for me to even bring up

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED BY MY OWN BLOOD

**carrierpidgeon:** SHIRO, ALLURA????

**takashmeoutside:** if he hasn’t cracked by now, he’s not going to

**allurable:** sorry my daughter

**carrierpidgeon:** but mOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

**allurable:** play nice with your brother

**carrierpidgeon:** HHHHNNNNNNNN I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED BY THE WHOLE GROUP CHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** DRASTIC TIMES CALL FOR DRASTIC MEASURES

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I’LL AGREE THAT NESSIE IS REAL IF YOU HELP ME WITH THIS

**kogayne:** you’ve been a vehement nessie denier forever

**kogayne:** it’s too late to repent

**kogayne:** deal with the consequences of your actions

**carrierpidgeon:** SCREW YOU KOGANE

**kogayne:** that’s lance’s job

**carrierpidgeon:** FUCKIGN

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** 12:01 AM

**lanceylance:** I’LL BE WAITING FOR MY NUGGS BEFORE THE FOOTBALL GAME, PIDGEON

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember how i mentioned this chapter is shorter and sillier than some of the more recent ones
> 
> well i went thru a depressive episode earlier today and now i have a bunch of ~more serious~ ideas to sprinkle in, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> it's mostly just keith and lance talking thru their anxieties bUT IT'S HOW I COPE. LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THE PALADINS. WHAT EVEN IS MY LIFE ANYMORE.
> 
> also i started working on a coffeeshop au oneshot, updates to come


	29. AAAAAAAAA (when the depression traps u in and u want Out)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith is depressed; lance and shiro have concerns; other random plot points occur bc this story's gotta go _somewhere_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **keith has a depressive episode at the beginning of this chapter**
> 
> there are photos in my phone of me sobbing as i wrote this chapter at almost 3 AM, bc damn i have been feeling down all day. i started to feel better by physics but then calc came along and ruined everything
> 
> my friends are gems tho

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey

**lanceylance:** starlight, the center of my solar system, the planet i orbit,

**lanceylance:** hello~

**kogayne:** so um

**kogayne:** i was doing some thinking

**kogayne:** about college

**kogayne:** and us

**lanceylance:** ...you okay??

**kogayne:** i just wanted to tell you that if we get to college and you find someone on campus that you happen to like better than me bc they’re better than me which isn’t really that hard then i’m gonna be okay with a breakup i don’t wanna hold you back and stop you from living the life you’ve always wanted to live with someone who isn’t a human disaster

**kogayne:** bc let’s face it we’re going to get to college and there are gonna be kids from everywhere instead of this stupid town and they’re going to be cooler and better-organized and more emotionally open and more fun and i can’t cut you off from that

**kogayne:** i don’t want you to feel tied down, i want you to feel free to be whoever you want and date whoever makes you happiest and not just stick with me bc you’ll feel bad for me, i’ll move on from it, i just want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me

**lanceylance:** hey hey heyheyheyhey nononono stop that

**lanceylance:** what the fuck how long have you been thinking about this

**kogayne:** a few days

**lanceylance:** baby nononono listen to me, listen,

**lanceylance:** i’m not with you out of necessity or because i feel bad for you, i’m with you because i /love you/ and i don’t want to be with anyone else but you

**lanceylance:** trust me, you’re not holding me back, not by any means

**lanceylance:** i love every adventure we have together and everything we do and i love the way your stupid face and stupid mullet look in the morning and i love making you flustered and i love watching you /attempt/ to be organized and then say ‘screw it’ halfway through and dive into your chaos and i love how hot you look in a leather jacket and gloves but also how hot you look in /my/ jacket and i know you have trouble opening up but you try so hard every day and i coudn’t ask anything more of you

**lanceylance:** i know who you are and i fell in love with /you/, not some idealized version i have of you or some version of you that i’m hoping you magically become

**lanceylance:** you’re fucking perfect and i wouldn’t trade you for the world, okay???

**lanceylance:** i love you, keith kogane

**lanceylance:** going away to college isn’t gonna change that. we’re gonna be roommates and i’m gonna see your dumb face in the morning and we’re gonna hold hands on the way to the dining hall and when it snows i’m gonna pelt u with snowballs and on breaks we’re gonna go to skateparks and museums and go on dumb dates and cool dates and do all sorts of shit and graduate together and then we’ll see where we go from there, but no matter where we go, it’ll be with each other

**kogayne:** fuck you

**kogayne:** fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

**kogayne:** i’m fucking crying, asshole

**kogayne:** why can’t you just let me go

**lanceylance:** bc love isn’t letting go even when everything is going to shit, love is grabbing hands and getting through things together

**lanceylance:** love isn’t abandoning someone when things get tough or things aren’t what you expected, love is adapting to it and working with it

**lanceylance:** love isn’t pointing out flaws and cowering away from them, love is appreciating flaws and working to fix the ones that can be fixed and working alongside the ones that can’t

**lanceylance:** mark my words, as soon as we’re both ready, i’m gonna husband you so hard /you’re/ gonna get sick of /me/

**lanceylance:** whatever your anxiety is telling you right now is wrong.

**lanceylance:** i love you. i’m always going to be here for you. if we make it through senior year in one piece, then i have a good feeling about us. a really good feeling.

**kogayne:** i’m so scared

**kogayne:** lance i’m so scared you’re ofnna  leaffe mike my mom did and liek isthought shirot was gonna  dand i’m gonna br all by mwlef argian

**lanceylance:** i’m making you a promise, right now: i’m not leaving you, ever, unless you seriously want out. i am always going to be here. 

**lanceylance:** i promise.

**lanceylance:** also i’m coming over, i’m leaving right now

**kogayne:** it’s 3 am

**lanceylance:** that’s never stopped you before and it won’t stop me

**kogayne:** ahsjdklldjfejwderfwrgsdv

 

**_revenge squad_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** when did lance get into my house

**allurable:** shiro it’s 5 AM

**takashmeoutside:** okay but listen i went to bed at 11 and lance was nOT HERE AT 11

**takashmeoutside:** DOES HE HAVE A KEY?? DID HE AND KEITH STASH ONE SOMEWHERE??? DID KEITH LET HIM IN??????

**mattata:** i think i would be a little more concerned about why lance showed up in the middle of the night

**takashmeoutside:** oh my god SHIT SHIT SHIT

**takashmeoutside:** w h y  wouldn’t he tell me if he’s suffering just fuckignfjwkslckvn

**allurable:** why are both of you awake

**mattata:** you’re assuming i ever went to bed 

**mattata:** why are /you/ awake

**allurable:** my ringer was on too loudly

**allurable:** shiro are you going to have a crisis or can i go back to bed

**takashmeoutside:** go back to bed, we can deal with this later

**takashmeoutside:** and matt pls get some sleep, i’m not dealing with two tired holts but i know pidge won’t listen

**takashmeoutside:** yes, pidge, i know you’re lurking

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** smh it’s friday whatever

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** HEY PIDGEOTTO, I EXPECT THOSE NUGGS BEFORE KICKOFF

**carrierpidgeon:** lance it is SEVEN IN THE DAMN MORNING

**lanceylance:** i’m just giving you plenty of warning!!

**carrierpidgeon:** i will fight

**lanceylance:** you can’t even reach me

**carrierpidgeon:** i just need to use matt as a booster

**mattata:** why would i help you fight against my favorite teenager in this group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** >:O

**lanceylance:** BETBETBETBETBETBET

**carrierpidgeon:** SO MUCH BETRAYAL

**lanceylance:** what do you mean “so much”

**hunkerdunker:** last night she went around asking everyone to sabotage the bet by trying to get you to talk

**carrierpidgeon:** HUNK

**lanceylance:** W O W 

**mattata:** astronomy club trio? more like astronomy club be-trio-l

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve come out of my lurking state to inform you that that was the absolute worst thing i’ve had to read in this group chat

**takashmeoutside:** and i’ve read a lot of nasty things in this group chat

**mattata:** betrayed by my own husband

**allurable:** i’d betray all of you in the hunger games

**lanceylance:** jeez allura where did that come from

**allurable:** we were talking about betrayal, weren’t we?

**allurable:** if this was the hunger games, you’d all be dead to me

**shayfromstatefarm:** you can’t just tell them that, you have to befriend them first and then kill them in the middle of the night and steal their supplies

**lanceylance:** SHAY WHAT THE FUCK

**allurable:** i want to instill fear from the get-go

**lanceylance:** YOU  P E O P L E

**lanceylance:** PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THE HUNGER GAMES THRIVED FOR 75 YEARS, YOU GOT INTO IT AND TOOK IT SERIOUSLY AND WENT IN FOR THE KILL INSTEAD OF SPREADING PEACE AND LOVE AND REBELLION AGAINST A TOTALITARIAN REGIME

**lanceylance:** I AM DISAPPOINTED™

**hunkerdunker:** damn

**allurable:** damn he’s right

**lanceylance:** umm of course i’m right

 

**_revenge squad_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** is anyone else noticing a suspicious lack of keith in the gc

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m guessing whatever happened yesterday hit him hard??

**takashmeoutside:** lance has been touching him in some way since they went to bed, i legitimately don’t think they’ve broken contact since they fell asleep

**mattata:** i remember when keith used to hate people touching him

**mattata:** one time i poked him and he tried to bite me

**takashmeoutside:** he was still little

**mattata:** he was TEN YEARS OLD

**takashmeoutside:** yes and you were 17, you should’ve known better than to obnoxiously poke a little kid for five minutes straight

**mattata:** no by that point we figured out it was five minutes bi

**shayfromstatefarm:** does anyone know what actually happened to keith

**takashmeoutside:** sorry yes i sort of do

**takashmeoutside:** i think

**takashmeoutside:** the other day he told me he was feeling like a burden, he must’ve said something to lance last night that prompted lance to come over

**hunkerdunker:** can’t we go one week where we aren’t attacked, whether physically or verbally or by our own heads

**takashmeoutside:** depression and anxiety are Not the Ones

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** is keith doing alright

**lanceylance:** yeah, he’s sleeping in my front seat right now

**lanceylance:** he sat down and crashed pretty much right away

**lanceylance:** i’m really gonna hate having to wake him up when we get to school

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t thank you enough for taking care of him

**takashmeoutside:** and for rising up in the places i fall short

**lanceylance:** hey man, i love him just as much as you do, i’m just trying to help him as best i can

**takashmeoutside:** what went down last night??

**lanceylance:** i don’t really know if he’d want me to say anything, he was just,,, having a really rough night with a lot of self-doubt

**lanceylance:** i think he’s okay now, but i’ve gotta keep an eye on him

**lanceylance:** has he ever mentioned thinking he’s not good enough for me??? or wanting to break up?

**takashmeoutside:** he mentioned feeling like a burden to people, but nothing specific to you

**takashmeoutside:** every time he talks about you, he talks about how much he loves you

**takashmeoutside:** well, i mean, sometimes he mentions being scared that you’ll break up with him

**takashmeoutside:** he thinks you’re too good for him

**lanceylance:** he’s said that to me before, but he always seemed to be joking or exaggerating

**lanceylance:** ,,,,,,,,,he pulled a mE WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** ????

**lanceylance:** HE KEPT JOKING TO COVER IT UP WHAT THE FUCK I’M GOING TO CRY AND I CAN’T CRY BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS

**lanceylance:** why doesn’t he feel good enough?????? i

**lanceylance:** i can’t believe

**lanceylance:** i love him so much and he’s,,,

**lanceylance:** he’s expressed to me before that he’s scared but fucking criminy i didn’t think

**lanceylance:** AND I SHOULD’VE KNOWN I’M SO

**lanceylance:** i’ve gotta make it up to him

**takashmeoutside:** he’s not going to want you making a fuss about things

**lanceylance:** yeah i know, he might feel guiltier

**lanceylance:** but i AM going to make it up to him

**lanceylance:** i’m so mAD I DIDN’T FUCKING REALIZE

**takashmeoutside:** he doesn’t blame you, i can tell you that

**lanceylance:** shiro i am going to husband this boy so hard

**lanceylance:** and i am going to show him that he is the best husband in the world

**takashmeoutside:** haha

**takashmeoutside:** i’m really happy that you two have each other

**takashmeoutside:** you care so much

**lanceylance:** mmmmm i love him so much,,,,

**lanceylance:** okay i’ve gotta go or we’re gonna be late for school, i’ll be keeping an eye on him all day

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** i don’t understand calculus anymore, send help, i’m dying

**hunkerdunker:** i’ve told you how to do it twice now

**lanceylance:** THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT MADE SENSE IN MY BRAIN

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’d try and help you but i really don’t understand either

**lanceylance:** RYNER IS GOING TOO FAST FOR THIS UNIT

**shayfromstatefarm:** she’s going too fast in general tbh

**shayfromstatefarm:** i barely started understanding the stuff from last week when she handed the next packet to us

**shayfromstatefarm:** like “here you go do this thing i didn’t teach you how to do. what do you mean it’s hard. i, the math teacher with a math degree certified to be teaching an ap course, understand how to do it. you high schoolers balancing several other subjects with very little specialization should understand it on an even better level than i do.”

**lanceylance:** t HA N K YOU

**kogayne:** i think i understand it enough to explain it on a lance level

**kogayne:** i can teach you guys if you’re free this weekend

**lanceylance:** YES  P L E A S E  EDUCATE ME SO I CAN PASS THIS CLASS SO I’LL NEVER HAVE TO USE DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS AFTER THIS YEAR

**allurable:** that’s why his mullet’s so big, it’s full of calculus

**kogayne:** i can’t stand calc, i just happen to be decent at it

**kogayne:** i also never want to have to take this course ever again

**kogayne:** i have to win

**kogayne:** so lance and shay, you down for tomorrow??? we can hit up the library or my house or something

**lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES THANK YOU SO MUCH

**lanceylance:** THAT’S MY MANS

**lanceylance:** HE’S GONNA HELP ME PASS CALC

**mattata:** aren’t you little demons in class right now

**carrierpidgeon:** has that ever stopped this gc before

**mattata:** fair point

**takashmeoutside:** this is why all of you are struggling with calc

**lanceylance:** fight me shiro

**takashmeoutside:** all i have to do is throw calculus at you and i’ll win

**lanceylance:** how dare

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** HOW DID AUDITIONS GO

**hunkerdunker:** they went well i think??? i didn’t screw up and i didn’t get booed off the stage

**lanceylance:** directors really shouldn’t be booing actors off the stage during auditions anyway but YEAHHH BUDDY YOU GOT THIS

**hunkerdunker:** thanks lance

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** were we still doing that couple challenge today???? bc can we move it to sunday??????

**carrierpidgeon:** yes pls move it i put nothing together

**carrierpidgeon:** plus i still need to go to wendy’s and get you nuggs

**lanceylance:** YES NUGGS

**carrierpidgeon:** and then we’ve gotta get down to the football field for FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

**lanceylance:** i’ll admit football is overglorified as fuck sometimes but there’s something FUN AND FREEING about being on the football field surrounded by the student body

**hunkerdunker:** can’t argue with that

**shayfromstatefarm:** especially when you’re surrounded by a group of friends and it’s cold and you’re all huddling together and shoving your way to the front of the snack line for hot cider or cocoa

**lanceylance:** or when you’re hiding out with your boyf and being all soft n shit

**kogayne:** shfgkslflep

**carrierpidgeon:** you guys will never give the mushiness a break, will you

**lanceylance:** until keith tells me to shut up i’m just gonna continue

**kogayne:** clingy lance  > detached lance > no lance

**lanceylance:** clingy keith  > detached keith > no keith

**lanceylance:** I 

**lanceylance:** LOVE

**carrierpidgeon:** nuggs

**lanceylance:** KEITH KOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE

**lanceylance:** DAMMIT PIDGE

 

**_revenge squad_ **

**_allurable_ ** _ renamed  _ **_revenge squad_ ** _ to  _ **_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** so i hadn’t seen keith and lance around the field in a while

**allurable:** and i went looking for them

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is so soft

**hunkerdunker:** they’re putting the rest of us to shame, damn

**carrierpidgeon:** if keith were here he’d yell “every couple is different” but he’s not here, so now this should fuel you all to whip your asses into shape to cream them on sunday

**mattata:** space mom space dad and space daddy are gonna fucking WIN on sunday

**carrierpidgeon:** pls stop calling urself space daddy in front of me, as your sister it’s UNCOMFORTABLE

**mattata:** s p a c e  d a d d y

**carrierpidgeon:** i know how to shut off the wifi to certain devices, don’t test me

**mattata:** you wouldn’t

**takashmeoutside:** she would

**shayfromstatefarm:** she would

**allurable:** she would

**hunkerdunker:** she would

**carrierpidgeon:** (・｀ω´・)

**mattata:** GREMLIN

**carrierpidgeon:** titan

**mattata:** titans were badass immortals

**carrierpidgeon:** the titans lost the war

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** this is your goodnight text, i love you

**kogayne:** you’re literally lying right next to me

**lanceylance:** i know :)

**kogayne:** ...is that your foot

**lanceylance:** no...is that /your/ foot?

**kogayne:** i don’t think so????

**lanceylance:** ….

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** YOUR CAT RUINED A TENDER MOMENT

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** WHEN THE /FUCK/ DID YOU GET A CAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is all of this klance entirely self-indulgent? oh absolutely
> 
> am i gonna stop? _bitch i think the fuck **nOT!**_
> 
> anyway i'm about 500 words deep into chapter 17 of stars go down, i'm aiming for a sunday night upload but i have so much homework SO we'll see, byeee


	30. Black ft. The Exposed Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro got a cat. lance is a furry, and so are pidge and hunk??? what??????? ft. halloween shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm posting this on sunday night, i'm trying to grind out the sunday chapter and get it up by monday morning, but also like,,,, i have homework i neglected all weekend in favor of halloween parties and pumpkin festivals and naps

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**kogayne:** SO APPARENTLY SHIRO GOT A CAT YESTERDAY WHILE WE WERE AT SCHOOL AND DIDN’T BOTHER TO INFORM ANYONE

**kogayne:** I COULD’VE BEEN ALLERGIC, SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** no one here is allergic to cats

**mattata:** the only thing i’m allergic to is bullshit

**kogayne:** then why are you dating shiro

**allurable:** OH SHIT

**takashmeoutside:** K E I T H

**lanceylance:** i’m so proud

**hunkerdunker:** there’s a story behind this isn’t there

**kogayne:** LANCE AND I WERE JUST TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP LAST NIGHT

**kogayne:** AND THIS  T H I N G  TOUCHES MY FOOT

**kogayne:** LANCE’S FOOT IS NOT THAT HAIRY

**shayfromstatefarm:** thanks for answering a question no one was wondering about

**kogayne:** SO WE SCREAM

**kogayne:** AND LEAP OUT OF BED

**lanceylance:** i got caught in the blankets and fell on the floor

**lanceylance:** cryptid kogane over here pulled a knife from under his pillow

**takashmeoutside:** WAIT WHY DO YOU SLEEP WITH A KNIFE

**kogayne:** NOT IMPORTANT

**kogayne:** SO HERE I AM WITH THIS KNIFE

**kogayne:** I MAKE LANCE PULL BACK THE COVERS

**lanceylance:** “lance, i want you to pull the covers back, and then i want you to run.”

**shayfromstatefarm:** how sweet

**carrierpidgeon:** are you shitting me

**hunkerdunker:** still takes the time to protect lance even in the face of a perceived danger

**lanceylance:** i know, i’m so lucky

**kogayne:** SO LANCE PULLS BACK THE BLANKETS, AND I POINT A KNIFE AT THIS THING, FULLY PREPARED TO STAND MY GROUND AND FIGHT

**lanceylance:** (i should add that at this point, it’s like 2 AM)

**hunkerdunker:** ah yes, that makes more sense

**shayfromstatefarm:** this seemed too wild for 11 PM

**kogayne:** AND INSTEAD OF RUNNING LIKE I TOLD HIM TO, LANCE FLIPS ON THE LIGHTS, AND LO AND BEHOLD, THIS BLACK CAT IS SITTING UNDER THE COVERS, STARING DOWN THE KNIFE

**lanceylance:** “you wanna maybe put that down, dickhead” -the cat, probably

**kogayne:** SO I GO TO SHIRO

**kogayne:** AND I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION

**lanceylance:** he’s not holding the cat properly, the cat is justifiably irritated-looking

**kogayne:** AND SHIRO GOES, “OH, YOU MET BLACK”

**kogayne:** HE NAMED HIS BLACK CAT

**kogayne:** / B L A C K /

**mattata:** shiro why am i dating you

**carrierpidgeon:** hush, whipped boy

**takashmeoutside:** I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD NAME

**kogayne:** SO I’M LIKE “WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS CAT WHY DID YOU GET THIS CAT WHY WAS I NOT CONSULTED I AM A MEMBER OF THIS HOUSEHOLD”

**lanceylance:** “i forgot. black likes your bed tho.”

**kogayne:** SO NOW THIS FURBALL, WHO WILL HISS AT ME ALL DAY AND SNUGGLES SHIRO LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW, DEMANDS TO SLEEP IN MY BED AT NIGHT

**lanceylance:** black likes me tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** you’re a likable person

**shayfromstatefarm:** not to say that keith isn’t,

**lanceylance:** shhhh just let that one die

**kogayne:** I’M GOING TO WAR WITH THIS CAT

**kogayne:** SO WHILE LANCE IS PREPPING FOR OUR STUDY SESSION AND SHIT

**lanceylance:** the time is now eleven AM

**kogayne:** I GO BACK TO MY ROOM TO GRAB MY TEXTBOOKS, AND THIS LITTLE SHIT IS SLEEPING ON TOP OF MY CALC BOOK

**kogayne:** AS IN, THE ONE I NEED TO TEACH LANCE AND SHAY

**kogayne:** I GO TO GET MY TEXTBOOK

**kogayne:** AND THE LITTLE FUCKER WAKES UP AND SCRATCHES ME

**allurable:** yikes

**carrierpidgeon:** tag urself i’m the cat

**kogayne:** IT’S LIKE THIS CAT THINKS IT’S IN CHARGE

**kogayne:** SO AFTER FIGHTING WITH THIS CAT FOR FIVE MINUTES, WE COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING:

**kogayne:** IT IS TO STAY IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM WITH MY LAUNDRY BASKET

**kogayne:** AND I GET EVERYTHING ELSE

**lanceylance:** it’s about to claim your laundry as a litterbox, just you wait

**takashmeoutside:** keith you have to let black roam around

**kogayne:** SHIRO IT IS /YOUR/ CAT I DON’T KNOW WHY IT’S IN MY ROOM

**takashmeoutside:** she’s mostly in there when you’re out of the house

**kogayne:** YOU GOT THIS CAT  Y E S T E R D A Y  TRAIN IT TO STAY OUT OF MY ROOM

**takashmeoutside:** you have to reach more of an understanding than “stay in your lane”

**kogayne:** OKAY ANYWAY

**kogayne:** SHAY, WE’RE READY ANY TIME

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m leaving in five minutes

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** black is adorable

**kogayne:** black has claimed another victim

**kogayne:** shay, lance, and shiro are DEAD TO ME

**lanceylance:** but baaaaaaaaaabe

**kogayne:** DEAD TO ME, MCCLAIN

**kogayne:** YOU’VE SIDED WITH THE CAT

**carrierpidgeon:** what do you have against cats anyway

**kogayne:** I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST CATS, I JUST HAVE A PROBLEM WITH /THIS ONE/

**hunkerdunker:** open your heart, let the cat in

**hunkerdunker:** appreciate the soft, furry goodness

**carrierpidgeon:** speaking of furries, let’s play “which animal is lance gonna be for halloween this year”

**hunkerdunker:** it was an adjective,,,

**carrierpidgeon:** it can be taken either way in that context, anyway, LANCE, YOU FUCKIN FURRY, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BE FOR HALLOWEEN

**lanceylance:** I’M NOT A FURRY

**carrierpidgeon:** EVIDENCE SAYS OTHERWISE

**lanceylance:** WHAT EVIDENCE

**lanceylance:** shHTUYTIR SHTUYTI I’M GONNA REGRET ASKING

**hunkerdunker:** ripperoni

_ (19) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** what’s that third one um ?

**allurable:** SHFJSKAKDK THE ELEVENTH

**takashmeoutside:** why do i still hang out with all of you

**kogayne:** oh my god i’m dating a furry

**kogayne:** pidge we can’t bring him on any cryptid hunts, he’s gonna fuck bigfoot

**lanceylance:** I AM SO EXPOSED RIGHT NOW

**lanceylance:** THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO, I’VE CHANGED

**hunkerdunker:** FOUR OF THOSE ARE TIMESTAMPED WITHIN THE LAST SIX MONTHS, LANCE

**lanceylance:** I’VE  C H A N G E D

**lanceylance:** HALF OF THOSE ARE JOKES MAKING FUN OF MY PAST SELF

**carrierpidgeon:** OWN UP TO IT, FURRY

**lanceylance:** KAKDFHJWASKEA

**mattata:** lance i’m disowning you, you’re not my favorite teenager in the chat anymore

**carrierpidgeon:** FINALLY, MY TIME TO SHINE

**mattata:** keith wassup

**carrierpidgeon:** >:O

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I’M NOT A FUCKIN FURRY

**carrierpidgeon:** yes you ARE JUST ADMIT IT, THE IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE IS RIGHT THERE

**hunkerdunker:** [mabel pines voice] like, soooo irrefutable

**lanceylance:** N E V E R

_ (43) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** IF I’M A FURRY, THEN SO ARE YOU TWO

**carrierpidgeon:** HOLY SHIT HOW DID YOU FIND THAT

**lanceylance:** INTERNET SNOOPER EXTRAORDINAIRE

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THAT PAGE

**lanceylance:** SINCE ITS CREATION

**carrierpidgeon:** FJHOJYMY OYYJRHOGODODOV HI’M FEPXOSE

**mattata:** this is more dramatic than half of the drama club’s shows now

**lanceylance:** HEY

**shayfromstatefarm:** HEY

**hunkerdunker:** HEY

**kogayne:** HEY

**carrierpidgeon:** HEY

**allurable:** their shows dropped in quality the moment i graduated, i was a Star

**carrierpidgeon:** JDJDJSJ WHATEVER

**carrierpidgeon:** SERIOUSLY, IF ANYONE ELSE BREATHES A WORD OF THAT PAGE, I WILL KILL YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** I DIDN’T KNOW LANCE FOUND IT

**carrierpidgeon:** KEEP

**carrierpidgeon:** YOUR

**carrierpidgeon:** MOUTHS

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT

**kogayne:** if the three of them got exposed then it’s only right that i expose myself

_ (23) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** HOLY SHIT HOW DID I NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS

**lanceylance:** WHAT IN THE FUCK

**kogayne:** i was too tired to dress for school like that,,,, i only ever talked about it on the internet

**kogayne:** and i wrote shitty poetry too

_ (2) links from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** ….hoyotn newjgjrejgjr

**lanceylance:** i can’t believe you actually /did/ go through an emo phase

**allurable:** lmfao you think that’s bad, look at these:

_ (56) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** look at them, 

**mattata:** please everyone knows i’m a weeb, i’ve got nothing to hide

**kogayne:** shiro was a weeb,,,,,,, hoygtrhewrth

**takashmeoutside:** I,,,, HAVE NO EXPLANATION TO OFFER

**allurable:** got any dirt on me? :)

**mattata:** I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ON ALLURA

**takashmeoutside:** NO ONE DOES

**allurable:** :)

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t believe,,,,,,,, we’ve all been exposed to each other now

**lanceylance:** well,,, 

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t even finish that fucking thought

**mattata:** i’m 99% sure that’s not applicable to like, 5 people here, at least

**mattata:** ….maybe 7

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT’S NASTY

**kogayne:** ANYWAY I’VE GOTTA FINISH TEACHING SHAY AND LANCE DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS, GOODBYE

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**mattata:** so it’s a free saturday night, who wants to go to a haunted house

**allurable:** SIGN ME UP

**takashmeoutside:** it’s going to ruin my blood pressure

**takashmeoutside:** maybe it’ll get so high i go into cardiac arrest and die

**takashmeoutside:** i’m in

**allurable:** no,

**kogayne:** dramatic or serious

**takashmeoutside:** dramatic, at the moment, on black’s behalf

**kogayne:** screw your demon cat

**kogayne:** also i’m in

**mattata:** lance would

**lanceylance:** SO WOULD PIDGE AND HUNK

**carrierpidgeon:** this is aphobia

**lanceylance:** smh

**lanceylance:** anyway yes sign me up for this haunted house

**hunkerdunker:** i guess i’ll go???

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ll go!!

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t wanna be the odd girl out here

**kogayne:** just a warning, as we’ve established by now, my fight-or-flight response is very much “fight”

**kogayne:** so uhhh, sorry to anyone standing near me

**lanceylance:** /fuck/

**kogayne:** i thought that was for later

**takashmeoutside:** EXCUSE ME

**lanceylance:** HE’S JOKING SHIRO HOLY SHIT

**kogayne:** OR AM I

**carrierpidgeon:** LOOK WHAT LANCE HAS DONE TO HIM

**carrierpidgeon:** A HORRIBLE INFLUENCE

**mattata:** okay, them aside, we’re going at like, 10, okay??

**mattata:** take your two hours to prep, bc this thing is apparently a rEALLY GOOD HAUNTED HOUSE

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re all babies

**kogayne:** I FUCKING HATE CLOWNS

**mattata:** weird, since you’re dating one

**lanceylance:** HHHHHHH HOLT SHUT UP

**lanceylance:** I’M STILL FREAKING OUT OVER THE CONTORTIONIST, THAT WAS RIGHT OUT OF MY NIGHTMARES

**hunkerdunker:** are we not going to talk about the bodies in the fridge

**kogayne:** okay that room actually pissed me off, they can’t even cut open bodies right

**shayfromstatefarm:** THAT’S WHAT YOU TOOK AWAY FROM THAT ROOM??? THAT THEY COULDN’T CUT OPEN BODIES RIGHT????

**shayfromstatefarm:** WE’RE SURROUNDED BY WRITHING BODY BAGS, AND /THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT/

**allurable:** i didn’t think,,,, but then,,,,,,,, BUT THEN THE DOLLS

**takashmeoutside:** the car

**takashmeoutside:** WHY DIDN’T ANYONE WARN OF THE CAR

**mattata:** i didn’t know there was a car, if i’d known i would’ve brought us to a different haunted house, i’m sososososo sorry, holy fuck

**allurable:** why didn’t you ask to be escorted out?

**takashmeoutside:** i had to get through

**takashmeoutside:** i’m okay now

**takashmeoutside:** i just...i had to get through

**takashmeoutside:** matt, it’s not your fault, i’m glad you and allura were there

**kogayne:** shit, that got to you??

**kogayne:** when our group got there i didn’t even think about that

**takashmeoutside:** seriously, it’s alright

**takashmeoutside:** please talk about anything else, just not the car

**hunkerdunker:** okay so that room with the wooden board, over the floor

**hunkerdunker:** was there actually a drop, or was that just a trick 

**lanceylance:** i wanted to look but i wasn’t about to be /that person/ who accidentally falls and dies

**carrierpidgeon:** hey keith remember the clown with the knife

**kogayne:** PDIFGE

**kogayne:** I WANTED TO ASK ABOUT THE KNIFE BUT IT WAS A  C L O W N

**lanceylance:** i think they had that knife in the giftshop actually

**kogayne:** WHAT

**kogayne:** WHEN DID YOU SEE IT

**lanceylance:** on our way out, i went and looked inside with hunk while you pidge and shay went to meet up with shalluratt

**lanceylance:** it was extremely overpriced tho, not worth it

**kogayne:** HHHHH

**allurable:** anyway, mcdonalds was great, now who wants to go to target

**takashmeoutside:** that definitely wasn’t out of left field

**allurable:** we need halloween costumes, there’s a party next saturday and you’re all going

**lanceylance:** BET LET’S GO

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** okay so seeing as we’re going to target, we may as well get supplies for tomorrow

**carrierpidgeon:** for the couple challenge?

**lanceylance:** please everyone knows you haven’t finished planning it yet bc you were working on your robot

**carrierpidgeon:** his name is rover and he’s lovely, thanks

**carrierpidgeon:** but yes anyway i didn’t plan it, what are we gonna do

**lanceylance:** put it off till like, november

**lanceylance:** monday is keith’s birthday but i wanna celebrate tomorrow, so we’re gonna pretend the challenge is still on

**allurable:** ooooh surprise party, i like this

**lanceylance:** keith won’t want a huge party but there still needs to be food and cake

**lanceylance:** and i already bought him the knife but i’m gonna get him a couple other things, bc i love him,

**takashmeoutside:** keith’s not a huge fan of purely material

**lanceylance:** relax, shiro, what kind of boyfriend do you take me for

**lanceylance:** his emo poetry gave me an idea i’m gonna pull off tonight

**lanceylance:** i need the rest of you to distract him

**lanceylance:** both in target and during the night

**takashmeoutside:** are you sleeping over again or at your house???

**lanceylance:** keith is a clingy boy, i’m sleeping over, but i need to work

**lanceylance:** so shiro,,,, are you down for a slumber party 

**takashmeoutside:** this is so last minute, i’m glad i’m the adult around here (i will never say those words under any other circumstances)

**takashmeoutside:** yes, is everyone else down

**allurable:** YES 

**mattata:** snuggles with my loves, i’m in

**lanceylance:** mmmm keep calling me and keith gross, whipped boy

**carrierpidgeon:** i can keep him occupied with conspiracy theories and video games, just say the word

**lanceylance:** the gremlin has temporarily been granted angel status, thank you pidge

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ll go

**hunkerdunker:** i can bake a cake if we keep keith out of the kitchen

**lanceylance:** he’s going to get suspicious if he smells cake

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s related to the challenge

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s our cover

**carrierpidgeon:** hell, we can have keith put stuff together “for the challenge” to distract him

**lanceylance:** this means you actually need to do some planning

**carrierpidgeon:** FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** fine yeah i’ll do it 

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**takashmeoutside:** hey who’s down for a sleepover after this target run, since we’ll be together anyway

**hunkerdunker:** me

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m down

**allurable:** !!! YES

**mattata:** let’s goooooooooooooo

**carrierpidgeon:** sure

**kogayne:** i don’t think i have a choice

**lanceylance:** mmmm, i dunno,,,,,

**kogayne:** >:(

**lanceylance:** jk of course i’m coming  <3

**allurable:** okay everyone!!! finish your mcnuggets and then let’s GOOOOO

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** I’ MWHRUSIDXN

**lanceylance:** LOOKARTKEITH

**carrierpidgeon:** pls make him go as that for halloween

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** does everyone have what they need, or do i need to stuff keith in a taco costume to buy time

**hunkerdunker:** i’m all set

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

**takashmeoutside:** all good

**allurable:** proceed to checkout

**mattata:** seconded

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean, we’re all done, but you could stuff him in a taco suit for shits and giggles

**allurable:** snapchat it

**shayfromstatefarm:** make it your phone wallpaper

**mattata:** tell him if he doesn’t do it then you’ll make the cat your wallpaper

**lanceylance:** HAHAHSJDFKWLA BET

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** PRESENTING: TAKEITH

**kogayne:** i’m going to kill you in your sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (no one exposed shay or brought it up bc shay is too good for all of them)
> 
> i went to a haunted house last weekend with my friends, and i'm the only one who didn't flip out
> 
> i kinda just babbled my way through, i complimented a clown's knife, the whole nine yards. my friends made me the leader bc i was like "PFFT I WON'T GET SCARED" on the way in and they were right
> 
> also it helped that they kept grabbing onto me so i rlly didn't need to ask them to
> 
> idk i might write the one-shot about it, who knows, i've been mentioning a lot of oneshots i've barely touched (also i wanna draw these scenarios, and ALSO IF ANYONE HAS ANY FANART FOR THIS FIC, OR WANTS TO DRAW FANART, GO RIGHT AHEAD, SEND IT TO ME ON INSTAGRAM @ NERDYSPACEACE OR ON TWITTER @ NERDYSPXCEACE, YOU CAN TRY TUMBLR TOO BUT I DON'T REALLY GO ON TUMBLR THAT OFTEN, MY TUMBLR IS THE SAME AS MY INSTAGRAM)
> 
> so like i said, i wanna grind out the sunday chapter tonight but HOMEWORK CALLS (fuck calculus)


	31. A Lovely Sunday w The Squad (ft. Lots of Things That Happen Outside of the Chat, AKA SHORT CHAPTER WHOOPS)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squad spends sunday together, lance and keith are still disgustingly in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY I MEANT TO HAVE THIS UP LAST NIGHT but I'm writing all of it in google docs (as opposed to Scrivener for my oneshots/long fics) and I didn't make it available offline and then my internet WENT DOWN LAST NIGHT RIGHT WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER and I couldn't reset the router bc it's in my brother's room and it was like 1 in the morning and ajsjdowlrlewsjfje
> 
> also this is short bc this is another chapter where they're all together in one place

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Team No Sleep_ ** _ to  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s my week bitches, day 1

**mattata:** congrats, would you like a medal

**carrierpidgeon:** no but cake would be nice

**mattata:** we don’t have cake, Tragic

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk, i desire cake

**hunkerdunker:** on it

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** nice cover pidgeotto

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks, i do my best, i’m now going to distract keith for three hours while you do what you need to do

**shayfromstatefarm:** a rare Nice Pidge has been spotted

**lanceylance:** the rarest of all the pidges

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t push your luck

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** wanna play re7

**kogayne:** I’M COMING

 

**_lanceylance > carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m finally done, you’re free to cut him loose and go to sleep now

**carrierpidgeon:** oh thank god

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s getting delirious

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s died ten times in the last half hour and insists on continuing to play

**lanceylance:** i can’t wait for that to be me and him in ten years, sitting on a couch at 3 AM playing some dumb horror game and dying over and over again bc we’re so sleepy but we can’t help but keep going bc we have to WIN, KEITH, NOW GIVE ME THE CONTROLLER

**carrierpidgeon:** that was grossly specific, can i be a gremlin again

**lanceylance:** go ahead

**carrierpidgeon:** Disgusted

**lanceylance:** ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** if i’m not the flower girl at your wedding i’m throwing hands

**lanceylance:** that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**allurable:** RISE AND SHINE

**mattata:** rest in pieces to whoever’s ringtone got changed to banshee shrieking

**takashmeoutside:** DHFGHFDWKEEIWWH DID YOU CHANGE IT

**mattata:** ahhhh, so that’s whose phone i swiped, i thought i swiped keith’s

**kogayne:** alrighty then asswipe

**hunkerdunker:** HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT KEITH /SLEEPS WITH A KNIFE/

**hunkerdunker:** BECAUSE I REALLY FEEL LIKE THAT’S A DETAIL YOU SHOULDN’T OVERLOOK

**mattata:** oh PLEASE he was sleeping with lance last night, there’s no way he was waking up, grabbing a knife, and shanking me in the five seconds it would take for me to grab his phone and run

**shayfromstatefarm:** he would perceive you as a threat

**lanceylance:** remember what happened when paul came at me

**lanceylance:** it would be like that but worse bc he has a knife now

**takashmeoutside:** ,,,,,, i feel like i shouldn’t let keith have a knife now

**kogayne:** and are you sure you wanna try taking it

**takashmeoutside:** did you just threaten to stab me

**kogayne:** did you perceive it that way

**allurable:** damn

**takashmeoutside:** i gotta find a way to get that knife

**kogayne:** if you keep threatening to take it i’ll give it to you, just not nicely

**shayfromstatefarm:** holy shit

**carrierpidgeon:** [adds “knife fight” as last-minute item on relationship challenge schedule]

**shayfromstatefarm:** wait, no,

**takashmeoutside:** okay so everyone is awake ummmmm i’m gonna go make breakfast

**mattata:** NO

**allurable:** NO

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** DON’T LET HIM IN THAT KITCHEN, HE CAN’T COOK TO SAVE HIS LIFE

**hunkerdunker:** i’m on it, i’m going to save breakfast

**takashmeoutside:** i have been betrayed and exposed

**lanceylance:** if you or a loved one has been betrayed or exposed within the last 24 hours, you may be entitled to free compenstation

**kogayne:** compenstation

**lanceylance:** autocorrect failing me when i need it most

**carrierpidgeon:** can i get uhhhhh free compenstation

**mattata:** sorry compenstation machine Broke

**lanceylance:** i hate all of you

**lanceylance:** except hunk

**hunkerdunker:** you just don’t want me to burn your breakfast

**lanceylance:** :)))))) hunk, the light of all of our lives, chef extraordinaire, a gordon ramsay among paula deens

**hunkerdunker:** i want that on my grave

**carrierpidgeon:** please make that your yearbook quote

**hunkerdunker:** oh my god i actually have a yearbook quote this year

**hunkerdunker:** THIS IS TOO MUCH I MUST GET COOKING

**lanceylance:** ...HOLY FUCK WE’RE SENIORS

**allurable:** is the unholy shrieking i hear lance

**kogayne:** yes, unfortunately

**carrierpidgeon:** hey my phone is dying can we all go to the kitchen and socialize like “real human beings”

**shayfromstatefarm:** how do you do that, where’s the on switch

**kogayne:** do you have to plug a normal human in

**lanceylance:** WELL

**kogayne:** I REGRET TYPING ANYTHING

**kogayne:** WE’RE ON OUR WAY DOWNSTAIRS NOW, COME ON LANCE

**kogayne:** ...WAIT

**shayfromstatefarm:** JUST PUT THE PHONE DOWN JUST STOP TALKING

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** you guys planned this??? for ME?????

**lanceylance:** um duh?

**kogayne:** AND THE KNIFE? I THOUGHT IT WAS OVERPRICED

**lanceylance:** it was, but you loved it so much that it was a no-brainer

**lanceylance:** and uh, there’s something else i wanna show you, if you’re cool with being in the woods again,,, after what happened

**kogayne:** ASHDJFKLRELJFDHBA LANCE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**kogayne:** YEAH I’M FINE WITH IT but that’s like a 20 minute drive, the others are gonna notice us being gone for a while

**lanceylance:** i’m sure they won’t mind

**lanceylance:** come on, let’s get to my car

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**allurable:** did they leave

**carrierpidgeon:** yep

**takashmeoutside:** so now that they’re gone, we can actually plan the relationship challenge to completely and utterly destroy them

**hunkerdunker:** uhhh you okay man

**mattata:** he’s still miffed about the knife

**takashmeoutside:** friendly competition never hurt anyone

**shayfromstatefarm:** friendly competition landed lance and keith in detention about a billion times freshman year

**takashmeoutside:** yes and now they’re gonna go make out in the woods

**takashmeoutside:** like i said, never hurt anyone

**shayfromstatefarm:** you know what, fair enough

**mattata:** so, what are some competitions they’re guaranteed to lose

**allurable:** I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD ADD THAT WE’RE NOT GOING TO ADD ANY MEAN COMPETITIONS FOR THE SAKE OF BEING ANTAGONISTIC AND WATCHING THEM SUFFER

**carrierpidgeon:** all of you need to settle down jeez louise what kind of friend do you take me for

**carrierpidgeon:** the cake and the lack of sleep have clearly gotten to you, go lie down, old people

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk and shay can help me plan

 

**_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** okay so we’re definitely skewing this thing in your favor

**shayfromstatefarm:** i thought that was always the plan

**hunkerdunker:** yeah ditto

**carrierpidgeon:** oh it was i was just reminding you

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_KEITH DAY_ **

**lanceylance:** we can change it back on tuesday

_ (4) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** look at him,,,,

**kogayne:** ASHFJELROGOEI  <3

**lanceylance:** <3333

**carrierpidgeon:** HHHHH IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY IN HALF AN HOUR I HAVE TO BE NICE

**takashmeoutside:** no you don’t, you have half an hour

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks dad

**carrierpidgeon:** ahem,

**carrierpidgeon:** DISGUSTED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i'm gonna neglect my homework and try and grind out the monday chapter bc it's monday shh bye


	32. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's keith's birthday, ft. gratuitous theatre (mostly heathers) references

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALL CAUGHT UP WITH THIS FIC THANK GOODNESS
> 
> i love my red space son

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** so i know i’m sitting right next to you and i already was really sappy in the woods but i wanted to write something here too just so you can save it and look at it in case you’re ever feeling down bc i love you a lot and you mean everything to me   
i know at the end of middle school and during freshman year we had that dumb rivalry but tbh i always really wanted to be your friend deep down???? like you were just really cool and it intimidated me so Bravado Lance had to show up and make a hot mess of things by doing dumb shit like flirting with girls in front of you and obsessing over getting a girlfriend bc i had to be better than you??? and i lowkey wanted to make you jealous????    
so i’m really glad that by sophomore year our friends forced us to be friends and then we got really close and then the day i asked you out i was sososososo nervous you were gonna say no, but i’m so glad you didn’t, i’m so glad you said yes bc look where we are now   
all of the shit we’ve gotten from people between then and now doesn’t matter bc i think of every happy moment we’ve had together (and there are tons holy fuck i could go all day) and i get SO HAPPY. i get SO HAPPY just thinking about you, you brighten my day and i honestly don’t know where i would be without you??? like that first time i broke down in front of you i thought you were gonna laugh or something but you didn’t and????    
i know you have a lot of insecurities and i know you’re scared about the future and i am too but it’s gonna be you and me, us against the world, i’m not going anywhere, i’m prepared to spend the rest of my life with you, even if it seems rlly weird to think now, but i really don’t want anyone else. i fell in love with a weirdo who goes cryptid hunting with our pseudo-sister on the weekends. i fell in love with a strange boy with a mullet and an affinity for knives and i wouldn’t trade him for  a n y t h i n g  and when we go to college in the fall i’m gonna flaunt you around campus like there’s no tomorrow   
i love you so much, keith kogane, i feel like i’m gonna explode every day with how much i love you. i know some days are bad and some days are stormy and it’s hard to show it sometimes but i love you i love you i fucking love you, never doubt that, i’m always gonna be here for you, i will always love you, no matter what happens in the future   
happy birthday, starlight

**kogayne:** LANCE WHAT THE FUCK I’M CRYING

**lanceylance:** I KNOW

**lanceylance:** NOW GET OVER HERE IN MY ARMS SO WE CAN SLEEP WE HAVE SCHOOL IN THE MORNING

 

**_KEITH DAY_ **

**lanceylance:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH, LIGHT OF MY LIFE, THE SUN TO MY MOON, THE STARS IN MY EYES, 

**carrierpidgeon:** happy birthday mothman!!

**takashmeoutside:** happy birthday, bro

**mattata:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIDDO

**allurable:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH

**hunkerdunker:** happy birthday man!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** happy birthday keith!

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** thank you guys,,, so much

**kogayne:** thank you so much for yesterday

**kogayne:** i really couldn’t have asked for a better 18th birthday celebration

**kogayne:** i’m really glad i got to spend it surrounded by friends and family

**takashmeoutside:** we love you, keith

**allurable:** we’re glad we could all be here to celebrate!!

**takashmeoutside:** after you all get out of school, i say we all go out to eat, sort of an early dinner/late lunch, on me

**kogayne:** shiro you don’t have to

**takashmeoutside:** too late it’s settled we’re going

**carrierpidgeon:** only the best for keith on keith day

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** okay so you all know the drill if one of the resident assholes gets the idea to try anything on captain doofus’s birthday

**carrierpidgeon:** murder

**hunkerdunker:** no,

**shayfromstatefarm:** document the situation and get a trusted teacher to back us up

**shayfromstatefarm:** preferably, have them witness

**shayfromstatefarm:** but above all, prevention first

**lanceylance:** thank you shay for always being on top of things

**shayfromstatefarm:** i try my best

**takashmeoutside:** if anything were to happen, let us know right away

**allurable:** i have a feeling today will be a good day for keith

**lanceylance:** ...did something happen in the investigation that you’re not telling us about

 

**_KEITH DAY_ **

**kogayne:** H O L Y  S H I T

**allurable:** :)

**kogayne:** MORVOK GOT FIRED

**kogayne:** ALLURA DID YOU KNOW

**allurable:** i found out yesterday

**allurable:** i thought i’d let you be surprised

**kogayne:** IT’S A BEAUTIFUL FRICKIN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

**lanceylance:** ...did you just out yourself as a heathers fan

**lanceylance:** DID YOU JUST OUT YOURSELF AS A HEATHERS FAN

**lanceylance:** DON’T IGNORE THIS GROUP CHAT, KOGANE

**kogayne:** NO I JUST

**kogayne:** PICKED UP ON SOME LYRICS WHEN YOU WERE SINGING

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE A CLOSET HEATHERS FAN

**shayfromstatefarm:** twenty bucks his favorite character is JD

**allurable:** omfg, he can be JD, and lance’s favorite color is blue, lance can be veronica

**lanceylance:** no, nononono, they did not have a healthy relationship

**carrierpidgeon:** okay but seriously, if we were to perform heathers ourselves, lance is veronica and keith is JD

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk is martha

**carrierpidgeon:** shay is heather mcnamara

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m heather duke

**carrierpidgeon:** allura is heather chandler

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro and matt are kurt and ram

**kogayne:** this is actually a really good casting

**lanceylance:** AHA HE’S NOT AGAINST IT

**lanceylance:** so keith,,,,,

**lanceylance:** wanna perform dead girl walking at lunch ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** i just spit my water everywhere, my chem teacher is giving me the dirtiest look

**takashmeoutside:** PLEASE DO NOT PERFORM DEAD GIRL WALKING AT LUNCH

**lanceylance:** TAAAAKE THIS DEAD BOY WALKIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN

**kogayne:** why did i say anything

 

**_KEITH DAY_ **

**takashmeoutside:** wait if matt and i are ram and kurt that means lance and keith murder us

**takashmeoutside:** and they murder allura

**kogayne:** why did it take you two whole class periods to say something

**takashmeoutside:** it only just occurred to me

**takashmeoutside:** what do you youngsters have against us

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s none of your concern

**mattata:** keith has a knife,,, or several,,,,,, and lance got him another,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

**mattata:** pidge and hunk are tech geniuses, and hunk is also extremely good at cooking,,,

**mattata:** shay is a design queen and good at sewing and is RLLY GOOD AT PEACEMAKING,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

**mattata:** lance can knit and has his own connections and can swim and climb and is rlly good at shooting,,,,,

**mattata:** they totally have the skill set to start a mob and kill us

**hunkerdunker:** w h y  is this group chat obsessed with murder

**lanceylance:** WE THE STUDENTS OF WESTERBURG HIGH

**lanceylance:** WILL  D I E

**shayfromstatefarm:** how much sugar was in that cake

**hunkerdunker:** too much, apparently

**takashmeoutside:** it doesn’t help that lance and keith are hopped up on caffeine

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU FUCKERS WENT TO DUNKIN WITHOUT INFORMING ANYONE

**lanceylance:** KEITH GOT HIS BIRTHDAY COFFEE ON ME LEAVE US ALONE

**carrierpidgeon:** HHHHHHHHH I NEED CAFFEINE 

**mattata:** i think the fuck not

**kogayne:** break into the teacher’s lounge

**takashmeoutside:** nO

 

**_KEITH DAY_ **

**hunkerdunker:** wait if i’m martha then don’t i have a thing for matt

**lanceylance:** IT IS NOW SIXTH PERIOD, WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE COMING TO THESE REVELATIONS SO LATE

**allurable:** you went through all of lunch and period 5 without being gross with keith???

**carrierpidgeon:** ohohohohoho no, they were gross, just not in the group chat

**hunkerdunker:** certain people in the cafeteria were ready to have aneurysms

**kogayne:** >;)

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**lanceylance:** vengeful petty keith,,,, somethin about him,,,,

**takashmeoutside:** lance i’m begging you to not finish that thought and just let us fill in the blanks

**hunkerdunker:** VENGEFUL PETTY KEITH MAKES LANCE WANT TO GO TO CHURCH AND DEDICATE HIS LIFE TO THE LORD’S WORK

**lanceylance:** whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy

**lanceylance:** just remember that you and shay are NOT AS PURE AS YOU’D LIKE TO PRETEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** we jUST DON’T FLAUNT IT

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANE

**lanceylance:** KEITH KOGANE IS MY BOYFRIEND

**lanceylance:** I AM IN LOVE WITH A BOY NAMED KEITH

**lanceylance:** CRYPTID KOGANE IS MY FUTURE HUSBAND

**lanceylance:** I LOVE KEITH KOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE

**lanceylance:** THAT BOY IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE

**kogayne:** he’s helpless

**shayfromstatefarm:** what’s with the gratuitous theatre references today

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** sorry when i’m happy sometimes i just,,,,,,,

**kogayne:** why are you apologizing

**kogayne:** happy singy lance is one of my favorite lances

**lanceylance:** <33333

**lanceylance:** mark my words, by the time the musical rolls around, the cast will have stolen keith away from crew

**carrierpidgeon:** excuse me you can’t steal one of our best set guys

**carrierpidgeon:** besides, don’t you have to be able to sing to get any good roles??

**lanceylance:** ...do you guys not know

**kogayne:** DJGEWKGNDNSNC LANCE SHUT UP

**lanceylance:** mmm oKAY GOTCHA

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith can sing?

**lanceylance:** no

**kogayne:** nope

**takashmeoutside:** ………….

**kogayne:** what

**takashmeoutside:** are we supposed to believe you

**kogayne:** i have at least three knives

**kogayne:** not on me, but still

**takashmeoutside:** keith can’t sing i believe him whole-heartedly

**mattata:** mmmm yeah keith can’t sing for shit

**allurable:** the worst singer in the world

**hunkerdunker:** he makes people’s ears bleed

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah sure okay

**carrierpidgeon:** [puts on skepticals]

**carrierpidgeon:** you really wanna flash that knife at me, kogane

**kogayne:** wanna back down

**carrierpidgeon:** not really

**kogayne:** you wanna reevaluate that decision

**carrierpidgeon:** nope

**kogayne:** MMMMMMM YOU WANNA REEVALUATE THAT DECISION

**carrierpidgeon:** nope

**kogayne:** hhhhhh shhhhut up

**carrierpidgeon:** that i can do

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** for now

**kogayne:** my voice is for you only

**lanceylance:** i will treasure this forever

**lanceylance:** <3

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** lmfao he can totally sing

**takashmeoutside:** he thinks i don’t hear him in the shower

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah none of us buy his lie

**hunkerdunker:** we’re just letting him think that

**mattata:** one of these days he’ll sing for all of us

**allurable:** twenty bucks it’s in a dramatic duet with lance

**mattata:** what song do you think they’d sing

**takashmeoutside:** helpless

**carrierpidgeon:** can you feel the love tonight

**allurable:** a whole new world

**shayfromstatefarm:** i see the light

**hunkerdunker:** a thousand years

**mattata:** ?????? you’re all so wrong, they’d obviously do an elaborate arrangement to victorious by patd

**allurable:** but lance is a huge sap and keith is too, just more lowkey

**mattata:** which is exactly why keith would wanna do something emo and lance would run with it

**takashmeoutside:** no he’d definitely go sappy

**mattata:** no he would not

**takashmeoutside:** ??? he’s my cousin i live with him i know how he operates

**mattata:** no i think you’re wrong

**allurable:** mmmmmmmmmm i’m with shiro on this

**mattata:** beTRAYED

 

**_KEITH DAY_ **

**takashmeoutside:** is everyone ready to go

**allurable:** yeah who am i driving

**takashmeoutside:** me, matt,,,, pidge?

**carrierpidgeon:** gross no i’m going with hunk and shay

**lanceylance:** i’ve got the birthday boy  <333

**kogayne:** <3

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m going to hunk’s now, then we’ll swing by the holt house and grab pidge

**mattata:** should i wait for you guys to get pidge before i let shiro and allura get me

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m 15 not 5

**mattata:** whatever you say

**mattata:** be careful sis

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll be alone for like 10 minutes max

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ll be there soon

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** thank you for a great birthday

**kogayne:** you mean the world to me

**kogayne:** i’m glad that we’re together, and i’m glad we spent every minute we could together

**lanceylance:** aww babe, i love you too

**lanceylance:** hopefully this is just one birthday of many  <3333

**kogayne:** i’m holding you to that  <3

 

**_KEITH DAY_ **

**kogayne:** thank you, everyone, for a great birthday

**takashmeoutside:** :)

**allurable:** we love you keith!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

**hunkerdunker:** of course man

**mattata:** my honorary little brother deserves it

**carrierpidgeon:** and where would i be without my cryptid-hunting partner

**carrierpidgeon:** actually we’re not gonna go there, happy birthday bro

**lanceylance:** only the best for the best boy :)

**kogayne:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was in the middle of the hallway today walking to the bathroom and out of nowhere i started thinking about klance and then i started smiling really big and then i was like "shit stop smiling people are gonna ask why you look like you don't wanna die" bc i have a massive resting bitch face and then i almost started crying bc they make me so happy and i love them and they deserve happiness and IS THIS HEALTHY TO BE THIS ATTACHED TO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS THAT THEY CAN MAKE YOU CRY IN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY OUT OF NOWHERE
> 
> also i just finished listening to the be more chill soundtrack,,, what the fuck


	33. and the pLOT THICKENS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we finally return to an actual plot (aka the ANGST IS BACK BITCHES)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some trigger warnings for this chapter bc obviously after such a happy birthday chapter we need some plot drama and angst  
>  **TRIGGER WARNINGS for a depression/anxiety-induced mental breakdown and mentions of aphobia, and also mentions of "i wanna die" bc of school**

**_KEITH DAY_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_KEITH DAY_ ** _ to  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** SO I KNOW WE’RE SUPPOSED TO TRY AND BE POSITIVE SINCE YESTERDAY WAS KEITH’S BIRTHDAY AND WHAT-NOT BUT MMMMMMMMMMM I WANNA PUNCH SOMETHING AND THE DAY HASN’T EVEN STARTED

**kogayne:** we spent two days celebrating me, what happened

**carrierpidgeon:** A CERTAIN SOMEONE GOT WIND THAT FATHER DEAREST GOT FIRED BECAUSE OF /US/

**mattata:** are you FUCKING kidding me

**carrierpidgeon:** i was on my way to class and the warning bell already rang, so i didn’t stick around to listen, but he’s plotting something

**allurable:** the extent of human nastiness never fails to astound me

**lanceylance:** he can try all he wants but he’s not getting to us

**lanceylance:** and especially not captain doofus

**lanceylance:** and especially not pidgeotto

**kogayne:** of all the more ridiculous nicknames for me, why captain doofus

**lanceylance:** personal favorite, moving on

**lanceylance:** listen to me when i say that paul morvok is the dirt beneath our feet, and we’re not even going to give him the time of day

**lanceylance:** if he comes at anyone,  l e t  u s  k n o w

**allurable:** !!! i can tell my father about it, and it’ll add to the case against zarkon, as his former employee’s son has been emboldened by his actions and conditioned to think that they’re okay, and that any rightful termination of one practicing those actions is an affront to him

**takashmeoutside:** i love when you talk legal

**mattata:** that’s not even legal that’s just some really fancy wordplay

**takashmeoutside:** it’s what you do in a courtroom and i love it

**lanceylance:** cool so now we know what shiro’s kink is

**carrierpidgeon:** why did you have to point that out

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** CAN YOU GUYS MAYBE PUT THE PHONES DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS

**takashmeoutside:** SPECIAL THANK YOU TO HUNK AND SHAY FOR STAYING OFF OF THEIR PHONES IN CLASS

**carrierpidgeon:** 20 bucks they’re really just lurking

**mattata:** no, they are the /best/ of us, they’re paying attention in class

**carrierpidgeon:** you wanna take me up on this bet and do a binding handshake over text

**mattata:** a chance to be $20 richer??? um yes

**mattata:** *shake*

**carrierpidgeon:** [shake]

**carrierpidgeon:** anyone else

**lanceylance:** i’m good, thanks

**kogayne:** pass

**allurable:** too busy sorry

**takashmeoutside:** i’m good

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll pass ;)

**shayfromstatefarm:** me too

**mattata:** YOU LITTLE SHITS

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll accept my payment in fives and tens, brother dearest

**mattata:** mother of fuck

 

**_PIDGE PROTECTION SQUAD_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_PIDGE PROTECTION SQUAD_ ** _ to  _ **_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so, morvok

**carrierpidgeon:** what do we do about him

**hunkerdunker:** anyone gotten any wind of what he’s up to?

**lanceylance:** well, we have class with him next period, don’t we??? stalk him then

**shayfromstatefarm:** do you think he’ll even be vocal about anything during class??? 

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re pretty,,, obviously right there

**lanceylance:** the word is Iconic and you make a good point

**lanceylance:** maybe he’ll try something and get a rise out of us?

**kogayne:** do you want me to come down next period and make a point?

**lanceylance:** oooh petty vengeful keith makes a return~

**hunkerdunker:** can we have one group chat where you two don’t flirt

**lanceylance:** where’s the fun in that

**lanceylance:** also,,, i mean,,,,,,,, IF YOU WANT TO,,,,,,,

**shayfromstatefarm:** warn us so hunk and i can have our eyesight spared

**carrierpidgeon:** tfw you’re a sophomore and don’t have to be subjected to these horrors

**lanceylance:** don’t forget you have lunch with us

**carrierpidgeon:** i have plenty of friends my age to sit with, i just choose to sit with you losers

**hunkerdunker:** LOSERS

**shayfromstatefarm:** you voluntarily sit with us, you’re automatically a loser too

**lanceylance:** I HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS

**lanceylance:** I JUST HAPPEN TO LIKE THESE ONES THE BEST

**hunkerdunker:** oh thank god our thirteen years of friendship don’t mean nothing

**lanceylance:** i’m a loyal hoe

**lanceylance:** the most loyal hoe i know

**carrierpidgeon:** so you admit you’re a hoe

**lanceylance:** yes and only this gc and the other gc have the permission to call me that

**lanceylance:** especially keith

**lanceylance:** ;)))

**carrierpidgeon:** is removing people from /this/ group chat off-limits

**shayfromstatefarm:** unfortunately i think yes, it’s universal

**carrierpidgeon:** damn

**kogayne:** welp, there’s the bell, lemme know when i need to come down

**lanceylance:** will do ;)))

**hunkerdunker:** FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** anyone else feel like this school is a powder keg about to explode

**hunkerdunker:** okay so we could either go the hamilton route or the heathers route from this point forward and i vote neither

**lanceylance:** fake theatre fan

**hunkerdunker:** more like person who knows how to not let obsessions get in the way of day-to-day activity

**lanceylance:** well excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me that i feel everything intensely or not at all

**shayfromstatefarm:** one of these days you’re going to end up in guidance for your “intense feelings”

**lanceylance:** i’ve said “i wanna die” in front of no fewer than 5 teachers and not ONE OF THEM has said anything

**shayfromstatefarm:** because you say it all the time

**shayfromstatefarm:** and at this point they’re probably like “lol there goes lance making his jokes again, what a good kid”

**carrierpidgeon:** can you imagine if one day he just snaps

**kogayne:** how about we don’t 

**lanceylance:** seriously though one day i was having a giggle breakdown in physics do you remember that

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah, ms hira told you to stop laughing and pay attention

**hunkerdunker:** ...do you need a hug buddy

**lanceylance:** lil bit yeah

**lanceylance:** like, i’m,,,,, feelin kinda weird, and the fact that i failed that calc test and my grade dropped ten points???? it’s nOT HELPING

**kogayne:** your intelligence and worth aren’t measured by how well you do calculus

**kogayne:** that test doesn’t matter, school in general doesn’t even matter that much in the grand scheme of things

**kogayne:** what matters is who you are as a person, who you surround yourself with, and what good you choose to do in your life

**lanceylance:** ,,,,,,

**hunkerdunker:** that was deep man

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** this goes deeper than just failing the test, doesn’t it

**lanceylance:** im so clsoer to losifjng my shit bc if i fail this test and it ends up uass a C+ on my tntrascript then my grbades won’t be goodn enough for the garisson school at arus and then they won’t take me andb g rthen we cant be roommates and thenn i’ll have to f ind some new majrito and mayeb new unvietsity alltoghebtert and we can’t s eee ehaco hter and my drems will be crushe and ill be a hugne disappoojt ment to my famiyl and idk what ill do with ym life

**kogayne:** listen

**kogayne:** the marking period’s not over yet, you still have time to drag up that grade back to at least a B-, which shouldn’t be hard

**kogayne:** i can help you. we can have more study sessions.

**kogayne:** one bad test grade won’t completely ruin your chances of getting into the garrison school

**kogayne:** your family’s not going to freak out if you don’t get in, and if they do, then you know the rest of us have your back

**kogayne:** i have your back

**lanceylance:** but if i odjnt’ get in ebcause ofm y  grades they’;ll blame it on me hanginh out with all of you and then they mightban me from sdieirn you and i vsn’t delai wth ythat

**kogayne:** you know me, lance

**kogayne:** i won’t let that stand

**kogayne:** besides, if they do, it’ll just be a romeo and juliet situation, remember? ;)

**lanceylance:** hshfekfkle

**kogayne:** but seriously, i’m here for you. i can help you. you’re smart and determined and you’re still in the top ten and even if the garrison rejects you, you can still go to arus

**kogayne:** and if you want to apply somewhere else, i won’t stop you, bc you deserve to live out your dreams

**lanceylance:** but i don’t wanna be separated from you :(

**kogayne:** shhhh don’t think like that, codependency is unhealthy

**kogayne:** don’t let me be a factor in deciding where you go to college

**kogayne:** would i hate being separated from you? 

**kogayne:** yes, absolutely, but you and i will be able to work through things

**kogayne:** would i love to have you as my roommate and see your stupid face in the morning??? of course, but i can live if that doesn’t happen

**kogayne:** but that’s the /future/

**kogayne:** this is right now

**kogayne:** focus on your studies, focus on getting back up to at least a B-, and things will work themselves out

**lanceylance:** sorry soryr oyur’e ithgut

**kogayne:** don’t be sorry

**kogayne:** you can’t help your anxiety

**kogayne:** and working through it is the right thing to do

**kogayne:** i’m here for you, starboy

**kogayne:** i always will be

**lanceylance:** i’m tryin g not to dcyr whatvefuck

**lanceylance:** <333333333

**kogayne:** do you need to cry??

**lanceylance:** ...meet me in the bathroom?

**kogayne:** i’m coming

 

**_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** so lance is too busy texting keith right now to pay attention to anything going on

**shayfromstatefarm:** paul is plotting something for lunch

**hunkerdunker:** i don’t like this

**carrierpidgeon:** any idea of what it is?

**shayfromstatefarm:** sounds to me like general harassment and humiliation, he’s not very creative but he’s mean

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s paying especially close attention to the fact that lance just went to the bathroom looking like he was about to lose it

**hunkerdunker:** oh no

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > hunkerdunker_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** so there’s potential for harassment of keith, lance, and pidge

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith, for what happened in the woods (if he’s somehow figured out the details, in which case, yike), and maybe for the things rolo said about him to lance??

**hunkerdunker:** pidge, for the woods and for the fact that it’s ace week

**shayfromstatefarm:** and lance, for whatever’s going on right now, plus everything else that’s been going on

**hunkerdunker:** see, this is why we don’t broadcast our lives to the whole school

**hunkerdunker:** people like paul figure out who reacts emotionally and targets their weak spots

**shayfromstatefarm:** not to say we act emotionless

**hunkerdunker:** of course not

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay just checking

**hunkerdunker:** i guess i should check in with how you’re doing??

**shayfromstatefarm:** always worried, always a little stressed, but i’m okay! i did better on calc than i thought, but i’m not gonna voice that in the gc,,,

**hunkerdunker:** that’s good to hear!!! yes shay!!!!! GET THOSE GOOD GRADES!!!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** what about you?

**hunkerdunker:** people always call shiro allura and matt the parent friends but listen to me,,,, i am the Mom Friend, and my children need to CHILL

**shayfromstatefarm:** if you’re the mom friend does that make me the dad

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**shayfromstatefarm:** excellent

**shayfromstatefarm:** should i text matt and ask for some dad jokes

**hunkerdunker:** absolutely not

**shayfromstatefarm:** are you sure

**hunkerdunker:** i’m sure

**shayfromstatefarm:** hi sure, i’m dad

**hunkerdunker:** ,,,,,,,,i walked right into that one

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** hey, you alright buddy??

**lanceylance:** hhhhh yeah i am now, i guess

**hunkerdunker:** if school is really getting to you, why don’t you take a mental health day??

**lanceylance:** bc then i’ll fall behind in half of my classes and i’ll be even more stressed

**hunkerdunker:** fair point

**hunkerdunker:** but promise me that if it becomes too overwhelming you’ll give yourself a break?

**lanceylance:** okay mom

 

**_hunkerdunker > shayfromstatefarm_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** PROOF

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i’m serious, i still remember your breakdown over winter break last year

**lanceylance:** APUSH WAS NOT THE ONE

**hunkerdunker:** i know, and i don’t need a repeat of that

**hunkerdunker:** remember to give yourself space to breathe and think things through

**hunkerdunker:** things get too overwhelming if you get up in it all

**hunkerdunker:** take a minute to step back and breathe

**hunkerdunker:** it’s like trying to swim through a rip current, you’ve gotta be patient and go with it, instead of rushing against it

**lanceylance:** hunk, you angel among men

**hunkerdunker:** and don’t you forget it

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** AND THE MOTHERFUCKING ACE DISCOURSE BEGINS

**mattata:** IS IT PAUL

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU BET YOUR ASS

**carrierpidgeon:** TRIED TO TELL ME THAT ASEXUALITY ISN’T REAL, THE A STANDS FOR ALLY, A WHOLE BUNCH OF BULLSHIT, AND THEN TRIED TO TELL ME THAT I CAN’T KNOW BECAUSE I HAVEN’T HAD ANY SEXUAL EXPERIENCE YET

**takashmeoutside:** did he,,,,

**carrierpidgeon:** NO, THANK GOD, I THINK I WOULD’VE STABBED HIM MYSELF

**takashmeoutside:** “stabbed him myself” implies he got stabbed

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH WHAT DID YOU DO

**kogayne:** i didn’t do anything

**kogayne:** i’m not even in the cafeteria yet

**carrierpidgeon:** NAH, YOU KNOW THAT GIRL IN LOTOR’S SQUAD, ZETHRID

**carrierpidgeon:** SHE,,,, CAME AND DEFENDED ME

**kogayne:** fucking /what/

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** SHOOKETH

**carrierpidgeon:** SHE THREATENED TO DO SOMETHING TO PAUL THAT I DON’T FEEL LIKE REPEATING, SMILED AT ME, AND THEN WALKED AWAY

**hunkerdunker:** w h a t

**lanceylance:** WHAT GAME IS LOTOR AND HIS SQUAD PLAYING

**shayfromstatefarm:** i don’t know but for now at least they appear to be,,,, friendly with us??

**kogayne:** lotor hates his dad and knows morvok and his dad are buddy-buddy, and since paul is a morvok,,,,,, 

**allurable:** ah, a generational rivalry

**kogayne:** and somehow we’re now caught up in it

**kogayne:** oh mother of fuck

**takashmeoutside:** you alright there???

**kogayne:** the devil approacheth

**lanceylance:** why is zarkon in the cafeteria

**kogayne:** i dunno, but i dON’T LIKE IT

**lanceylance:** get over here so i can protect you, mullet

**lanceylance:** actually paul is coming this way, maybe don’t

**kogayne:** I’M COMING

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i’m mildly concerned that the group chat’s been dead for fifteen minutes

**shayfromstatefarm:** sorry, things got a little chaotic

**takashmeoutside:** tell me no one is in the office

**shayfromstatefarm:** aside from paul and zethrid

**takashmeoutside:** what happened

**hunkerdunker:** so all of us are at the table, right

**hunkerdunker:** keith finally decides to join us and he’s sitting with lance and paul approaches them and starts verbally harassing lance for something that happened third period

**allurable:** what happened third period??

**lanceylance:** mental breakdown, not important

**allurable:** WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NOT IMPORTANT

**lanceylance:** only you guys know of it and keith’s the only one who saw it

**lanceylance:** i’m okay now, i swear

**mattata:** if keith’s the only one who saw it then how does paul know

**hunkerdunker:** he left the room looking pretty shaken, and as much of a brick as he is, paul put two and two together

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway, paul was harassing lance, and keith was getting ready to get into a fistfight

**carrierpidgeon:** at which point i cussed him out, and turned his attention back on me

**shayfromstatefarm:** and somewhere in the cafeteria, zethrid’s “pidge senses” must’ve been tingling, because the next thing you know, she’s at our table demanding to know why the hell paul is talking to us

**hunkerdunker:** paul started making fun of us for not being able to defend ourselves, yknow, as jerks do

**kogayne:** as derivatives of acceleration graphs do

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** keith decked him

**takashmeoutside:** so why is keith not in the office

**shayfromstatefarm:** paul went to fight back and zethrid WENT OFF ON HIM

**shayfromstatefarm:** and when zarkon came over and tried to take zethrid and keith only to the office, a bunch of kids from the surrounding tables started speaking up about how paul instigated things, and keith was defending himself

**hunkerdunker:** somehow, everyone unanimously agreed upon the lie that paul swung first

**carrierpidgeon:** half the school is sick of his shit

**lanceylance:** i mean, he swung first, just with words and not fists, wHICH ARE JUST AS PAINFUL

**kogayne:** except his words are lies and don’t matter  <3

**lanceylance:** :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** so zarkon realized that he had way too many witnesses to make up some way to pin this on keith, so zethrid and paul got taken to the office

**allurable:** hmm, good to know

**allurable:** maybe we’ll get his termination after all

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah, why’s he not gone yet?

**allurable:** according to the district, they don’t have a replacement lined up yet, and a school needs a principal to function

**kogayne:** fucking legal complications

**allurable:** the district has been very lazy in searching for a replacement, and if this doesn’t motivate them, we’re considering a lawsuit

**mattata:** an altea lawsuit holy shit

**takashmeoutside:** the district won’t stand a chance

**allurable:** mmhmm, which is why they best act quickly :)

**allurable:** so now that that’s done with, kids, get off your phones, finish eating, and focus on the rest of your school day

 

**_lotoreal > kogayne_ **

**lotoreal:** hello, keith

**kogayne:** how did you get this number

**lotoreal:** not important

**lotoreal:** zethrid informed me of what happened at lunch today, i apologize that you had to endure such embarrassment

**kogayne:** wouldn’t call it an embarrassment so much as an annoyance, but go on

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** what??

**kogayne:** i don’t know

 

**_lotoreal > kogayne_ **

**lotoreal:** i know due to past misunderstandings, we’ve spent much of our high school experience begrudgingly avoiding the other’s existence, but for the sake of a common goal, i believe we should leave the past in the past

**kogayne:** common goal

**lotoreal:** seeing my father removed from his position, of course

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** w h a t

**lanceylance:** i’m not sure i like where this is going

 

**_lotoreal > kogayne_ **

**lotoreal:** i’m not asking for friendship, but more like a mutual alliance

**lotoreal:** i believe we could be of aid to each other

**lotoreal:** as has been proven several times already

**kogayne:** ...i need time to think on this

**lotoreal:** yes, please do tell your group chat i say hello.

**lotoreal:** let me know when you’ve reached a decision, and please,

**lotoreal:** consider things for yourself, rather than blindly follow a hivemind.

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** something about that really rubs me the wrong way

**carrierpidgeon:** what are you gonna do??

**kogayne:** ignore him until he sends ezor and acxa after me?

**hunkerdunker:** i mean, if he wants an alliance, i don’t think he’d go to intimidation tactics like that to get you to answer?

**kogayne:** i don’t know

**kogayne:** it’s been a long, tiring day

**kogayne:** can we talk about anything else, and focus on this tomorrow

**carrierpidgeon:** so, the multiverse theory,

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** what do you think about this whole thing with lotor

**lanceylance:** i’ve told you before that i don’t trust him

**kogayne:** i sense a but

**lanceylance:** but

**lanceylance:** it’s ultimately up to you

**lanceylance:** you said yourself codependency is unhealthy, and so is being overcontrolling

**lanceylance:** whatever you decide, i’ll have your back, even if i don’t agree

**lanceylance:** maybe he has changed, i don’t know

**lanceylance:** be careful

**kogayne:** uuuuguhghghgnhnbregntyternrtebdntm why are our lives so dramatic why can’t we have a normal high school experience

**lanceylance:** i don’t know

**lanceylance:** wanna come nap with me

**kogayne:** /please/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo so this thought hit me while i was writing but how fucked up is it that it's normal to have a mental breakdown in the middle of the school day and then go back to class like nothing happened??? like that's happened to several people at school within the last two weeks and it's so fucked up
> 
> anyway see ya when the next chapter drops


	34. Happy Keith™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group discovers a new cryptid, and makes a new ally in the fight against the demon principal from hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone commented a couple chapters ago about promise rings and the idea wouldn't leave me alone
> 
> ALSO SORRY this didn't go up last night, i was busy most of the afternoon and didn't have time to finish writing it, and when i sat to finish it at 2:15 AM i started falling asleep
> 
> AAAAAA anyway here's the chapter

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** are you awake

**takashmeoutside:** it’s 3 AM why are you still up

**kogayne:** cool, you /are/ awake, i have a question

**kogayne:** actually, several

**kogayne:** 1\. do you think it’s a little too early for me and lance to want to spend the rest of our lives together

**takashmeoutside:** oh my god please go to bed

**kogayne:** i’m serious

**takashmeoutside:** you are not getting engaged to lance before you graduate high school

**kogayne:** would you just answer my question so i can explain myself

**kogayne:** i’m not gonna get engaged at 18 holy shit

**takashmeoutside:** [sigh] i’d think it was weirder if your two year anniversary wasn’t coming up this year

**takashmeoutside:** and if i wasn’t your cousin

**takashmeoutside:** yknow, the same cousin dating both his high school sweetheart and his college sweetheart, and looking to get engaged as soon as the law permits

**takashmeoutside:** in short, no, i don’t

**takashmeoutside:** lance claims to take romance very seriously, and he does, as far as i can tell, and you form very strong attachments, once, yknow, you actually form them

**takashmeoutside:** why

**takashmeoutside:** why is this a question you have for me at 3 AM when you have to be up for school in 3 hours

**kogayne:** because i was thinking

**kogayne:** we’ve both been stressed the fuck out and having anxiety attacks and stuff and one of the things that grounds us is knowing we’re always gonna be there for each other, right

**kogayne:** but what am i supposed to do if it’s like, 4 AM and i’m panicking and can’t leave the house and lance isn’t here and he’s sleeping

**takashmeoutside:** come talk to me because i’m your cousin and i care about your mental health???

**kogayne:** okay so let’s say i’m alone

**takashmeoutside:** okay the point please, i want sleep

**kogayne:** lance is a very tactile person, and he’s kinda made me into one too

**kogayne:** so i wanted to get him some kind of physical reminder that i’m always gonna be there

**kogayne:** so if he’s alone he doesn’t need to like, blow up my phone to know that i love him

**takashmeoutside:** the POINT PLEASE

**kogayne:** i was thinking about promise rings

**takashmeoutside:** at 3 AM on a wednesday

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** they’re not engagement rings

**kogayne:** but it’s like...an engagement engagement ring

**kogayne:** but like not quite as serious as engagement rings, so if he ever wants to back out for some reason it’s not like we were one step away from marriage, we’re like...2

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe this is a real conversation i’m having with you right now

**kogayne:** what, is it a dumb idea??

**kogayne:** i’ve never been good at romance and it’s always been lance’s department but after what he did for my birthday,,

**takashmeoutside:** no, it’s not a dumb idea, but why are we discussing this now?? why not wait till christmas or something?

**kogayne:** too far, this needs to be acted upon

**kogayne:** if you’d help me,,, i kinda wanted to get rings by saturday

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me

**kogayne:** i was gonna try and present them to him when we’re getting ready for the party, to surprise him, yknow?

**kogayne:** and that way at homecoming the weekend after we can show up like “look!!! look who’s committed!!!!”

**takashmeoutside:** you’re so mushy at 3 AM jeez

**kogayne:** will you help me??

**takashmeoutside:** yeah, i’ll help you, we can look after school today, but mind you that it /is/ a ring, and they can get expensive, /but/, if you got a cheaper one, i think lance would love it all the same

**takashmeoutside:** don’t fret over perfection. lance knows you’re not exactly strong with romance, so that’ll make it all the more wonderful

**kogayne:** thanks, shiro

**takashmeoutside:** you’re welcome

**takashmeoutside:** now,

**takashmeoutside:** GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

**kogayne:** DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**kogayne:** i feel really happy today wtf

**lanceylance:** !!!!! HAPPY KEITH

**carrierpidgeon:** is the emo era FINALLY coming to an end?

**kogayne:** watch it pidge

**hunkerdunker:** what’s going on, why is keith happy, are we in an alternate reality

**kogayne:** o-kay you know what forget i said anything

**carrierpidgeon:** no seriously dude, what’s got you all happy

**kogayne:** idk man, it’s just gonna be a good day, i can feel it

**shayfromstatefarm:** really now

**kogayne:** :)

**lanceylance:** mmmmm you’re plotting something, aren’t you

**kogayne:** no?? it’s just a really good day

**carrierpidgeon:** [puts on skepticals] mcclain makes a valid point

**lanceylance:** what are you plotting, captain doofus

**kogayne:** no plotting, i just feel happy, is that such a crime

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** so what do we think dear ol captain doofus is up to

**lanceylance:** shiro, any ideas

**takashmeoutside:** nope, i think he’s just having a really good day

**mattata:** [squints] i don’t believe you

**mattata:** you don’t seem the least bit suspicious about his behavior

**takashmeoutside:** ???? i live with him, i saw him this morning, he just woke up in a good mood

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**takashmeoutside:** like we’ve established before, keith /does/ have emotions other than “broody” and “human disaster” and “grossly in love”

**lanceylance:** fair point, but i know keith, and i know that’s /something’s/ caused this, he has that energy about him

**lanceylance:** he’s definitely up to something and I’M GONNA FIGURE IT OUT

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** so what’s going on with keith

**takashmeoutside:** do you two swear not to tell anyone

**mattata:** cross my heart hope to die

**allurable:** i’ll shove a needle in his eye

**mattata:** rUDE

_ (8) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**allurable:** oH MY GOD THAT’S PRECIOUS

**mattata:** so it is one of his three default moods

**allurable:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS

**allurable:** does he know lance’s ring size

**allurable:** because i can get it

**takashmeoutside:** i can ask

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** do you know lance’s ring size

**kogayne:** would you be surprised if i said yes

**takashmeoutside:** should i ask why

**kogayne:** what if i told you that we got bored one day over the summer and were looking at engagement rings as a joke

**takashmeoutside:** i dunno, would i be allowed to respond in a pidge-like manner

**kogayne:** no

**takashmeoutside:** well then, that’s not surprising at all, okay carry on

 

**_< 3_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**mattata:** IT HAD JUST BEEN A YEAR WHAT THE HELL

**mattata:** can you imagine if they go down in flames, and look back on this in like, a year

**mattata:** like “wow i wanted to get hitched to that guy, now i hate him”

**takashmeoutside:** what the fuck

**allurable:** i don’t think that’s gonna happen???

**takashmeoutside:** what the /actual/ fuck why do you have so little faith in them

**mattata:** these violent delights have violent ends

**takashmeoutside:** do nOT quote shakespeare at me 

**allurable:** they’re 17 and 18 and about to go off to college and have known each other for years, not two children who got together after their first meeting

**allurable:** 100k m/m slow burn enemies to friends to lovers

**allurable:** not 1k m/m instalove

**mattata:** did you, allura altea, just internet-speak at me

**allurable:** if i have to stoop to your level to explain things then so be it

**takashmeoutside:** seriously WHAT is up with you doubting them

**mattata:** Realism™

**mattata:** if they rush into things, then they run the risk of encountering problems that they don’t quite know how to deal with and it could have an adverse effect on their relationship

**allurable:** this is actually around a decent/usual age for promise rings

**allurable:** i don’t see the big deal here

**mattata:** i’m just looking out for them, i’m speaking from experience

**takashmeoutside:** ...shit

**takashmeoutside:** i’m sorry i 

**takashmeoutside:** /shit/

**mattata:** it’s alright, sometimes i do doubt them a little too often

**allurable:** we need to find a happy medium between healthy realism and healthy optimism 

**mattata:** today on Marriage Counseling with Allura Altea

**allurable:** ft today’s guests, matthew holt and takashi shirogane, counseled by wife allura altea

**mattata:** the host with the most ;))))

**allurable:** security

**mattata:** :O

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**lanceylance:** GUESS WHO’S NOT IN THIRD PERIOD BECAUSE HE HAS A WEEK OF OSS

**lanceylance:** /PAUL MOTHERFUCKIN MORVOK/

**lanceylance:** KEITH IS THIS WHY YOU WERE SO HAPPY, DID YOU KNOW

**kogayne:** yep

**carrierpidgeon:** oh thank god i thought i was gonna snap if i had to see his ugly face at lunch

**lanceylance:** usually i’d say coming at someone’s looks is a low blow but he’s an asshole so i’ll let it slide

**shayfromstatefarm:** maybe we can have peace for a day

**kogayne:** hey lance, wanna celebrate ;)

**hunkerdunker:** excuse me

**carrierpidgeon:** is that keith kogane?

**shayfromstatefarm:** openly flirting with lance in the group chat??

**hunkerdunker:** WINKY FACE AND ALL???

**carrierpidgeon:** we’ve uncovered a new cryptid, bois

**lanceylance:** HAPPY KEITH IS FUCKING MAGICAL

**lanceylance:** I’M HEADED TO THE BATHROOM NOW, DOOFUS

**kogayne:** see ya there :)

 

**_lotoreal > kogayne_ **

**lotoreal:** so do you and mr. mcclain do that every day

**kogayne:** WHAT THE SHIT, YOU WERE IN THE BATHROOM?!

**lotoreal:** unfortunately

**kogayne:** AND YOU JUST SAT THERE

**lotoreal:** oh, would you have preferred me walking out while you were in the middle of your makeout session then?

**kogayne:** okay i just

**kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME

**kogayne:** I STILL WANNA KNOW HOW YOU GOT MY NUMBER

**lotoreal:** sources

**lotoreal:** and i am texting to see if you’ve come to a decision on our agreement

**kogayne:** you mean the shady one with the unspecified terms other than a “mutual alliance”

**lotoreal:** oh, i wasn’t specific enough?

**lotoreal:** you could’ve said something

**lotoreal:** in short, i am seeking a mutual alliance between our two groups of friends with mutual protection from forces such as my father and bullies like paul morvok, as well as an open flow of information between our two groups

**kogayne:** ...is this a weird way of asking to be friends?

**lotoreal:** where in these terms have i asked for friendship

**kogayne:** friends usually protect each other? and talk to each other?

**lotoreal:** nonono, this protection is only in relation to our mutual enemies, and this flow of information regards only developments in the cases against aforementioned enemies. there will be no hanging out or communicating more than necessary

**kogayne:** ...whatever you say

**lotoreal:** so have you made a decision?

**kogayne:** um, no, not yet

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** what should i do

**lanceylance:** why are you asking me

**lanceylance:** why not ask the gc

**kogayne:** well, number one, just letting you know we apparently had an audience

**lanceylance:** which i’m okay with, bc i’ll scream to the world how much i love u

**kogayne:** sdfhtrgestnh

**kogayne:** and number two, i value your opinion first

**kogayne:** you said yesterday you don’t trust him, and i want to make sure you’re comfortable with anything i do

**lanceylance:** aw babe :))))

**lanceylance:** i still have my reservations, obviously

**lanceylance:** but i would ask the group chat and see what they come up with, and run with whatever the majority there is, no matter what side i’m on

**kogayne:** you’re sure? even if we come to the decision to trust him?

**lanceylance:** i’ve got your back, no matter what

**lanceylance:** even tho i might rub it in ur face if i’m right

**kogayne:** from you, i’ll take it

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**kogayne:** the walking loreal commercial texted me again

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** what should i tell him

**takashmeoutside:** what’s your gut telling you

**kogayne:** it’s telling me to trust him but,,

**kogayne:** i don’t know

**allurable:** he’s willing to help us remove his father, and he’s got good information from the inside

**allurable:** not to mention, he’s probably just as much a victim to his father’s beliefs, if not more so, than the rest of the student body

**carrierpidgeon:** zethrid came to my defense yesterday

**shayfromstatefarm:** he may have done questionable things freshman year, but that’s sorted out

**mattata:** are we forgetting his entire squad is made of lgbt+ ladies, this man is RESPECTING WOMEN

**allurable:** (¬､¬)

**allurable:** why did it take a meme for it to become socially acceptable to treat women like human beings

**carrierpidgeon:** i hate people

**shayfromstatefarm:** a BIG MOOD

**kogayne:** yeah hi sorry to interrupt can we focus on the problem at hand

**kogayne:** do i tell him yes? we’ll do this whole alliance thing?

**takashmeoutside:** if it’s what your gut is telling you, i say go for it

**allurable:** i say yes

**mattata:** do it

**hunkerdunker:** i have some concerns, i don’t know about this

**carrierpidgeon:** do it, and if it backfires, you have like 69482828 knives 

**shayfromstatefarm:** do it but be careful

**kogayne:** okay

**mattata:** lance didn’t vote

**lanceylance:** doesn’t matter, i’m either with the majority or outnumbered

**lanceylance:** i’ve got his back

**kogayne:** i already talked to lance

**hunkerdunker:** not surprised

 

**_kogayne > lotoreal_ **

**kogayne:** we’ll take you up on your offer

**lotoreal:** a good choice. 

**kogayne:** just don’t make me regret this

**lotoreal:** do you think i fear you?

**kogayne:** i dunno, do you?

**lotoreal:** no, not particularly.

**kogayne:** think what you want, but i’m warning you,

**kogayne:** do NOT make me regret this.

**lotoreal:** i’d never think of such a thing.

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** it’s done

**lanceylance:** if he does something, i’ll be right there with you

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** and if it backfires, then i apologize for not believing you

**lanceylance:** ehh, everyone deserves a chance, you won’t need to be sorry 

**lanceylance:** it’s not our fault if he betrays our trust

**lanceylance:** i love you

**kogayne:** i love you too, see you at lunch  <3

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** are we going right after school??

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** i lied and told lance that i had another doctor’s appointment, so he doesn’t suspect a thing

 

**_< 3_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** these rings are so expensive,

**takashmeoutside:** and we bought them

**allurable:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** lance is going to LOVE his ring omfg this is the cutest thing i’m SCREAMING

**mattata:** what freakin nerds

**takashmeoutside:** you’re one of the biggest nerds i know

**mattata:** yes, so i’m an expert on nerds, so i say again:

**mattata:** WHAT FREAKIN NERDS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as we speak i'm almost done with the thursday chapter but i also have homework to do (i mostly wrote this fic during school bc we didn't do ANYTHING today,,, i have priorities)
> 
> tomorrow's a half day and i probably won't be doing much so idk maybe the friday chapter will be up fast too iDK MAN I'LL CHECK BACK IN IN THE NOTES ON THE NEXT CHAPTER
> 
> (also i haven't worked on stars go down in 500 years pls end me)


	35. THEY'RE SO IN LOVE IT'S PHYSICALLY PAINFUL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an entirely self-indulgent chapter about lance and keith being aggressively in love with each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've made the executive decision that i don't think i'm gonna write a friday chapter, or if i do it's gonna be short, i wanna work on stars go down bc it's been more than a week since the last update and i haven't even broken 1000 words yet
> 
> anyway here's the chapter, lance and keith love each other so much

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**allurable:** hey so i’m planning a photoshoot before the halloween party, does everyone have their costumes lined up??

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s the middle of second period, why are you texting about this /now/

**allurable:** because i can

**allurable:** can everyone tell me their costumes so i can plot the proper shots

**takashmeoutside:** why are we doing a photoshoot, aren’t those expensive

**allurable:** my dad has connections

**allurable:** and they’re doing halloween discounts

**allurable:** NOW WHAT IS EVERYONE GOING AS

**lanceylance:** keith and i have the cutest couple costume actually

**lanceylance:** we’re going as alec lightwood and magnus bane

**allurable:** you’re gonna be such a great magnus omfg

**lanceylance:** ACTUALLY keith is gonna be magnus :)

**carrierpidgeon:** but magnus is the semi-flamboyant bisexual,,,,?

**hunkerdunker:** and alec is the dark broody gay??

**lanceylance:** yes but magnus is shorter and east asian, and alec is the taller sharpshooter

**lanceylance:** which, if you’ve seen me on my uncle’s farm, i’m an excellent shot

**lanceylance:** i don’t miss 

**kogayne:** let it be known i was down for being alec and having lance being magnus, but lance insisted we go based on looks over personality

**mattata:** how did he end up swaying /you/ to dress as /magnus bane/

**kogayne:** [defeated sigh] puppy dog eyes

**mattata:** keith you wEAKLING

**lanceylance:** and now i have an excuse to put glitter on my boyfriend’s face :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith i’m so sorry

**shayfromstatefarm:** your glittery face is going to be all over social media after that party

**kogayne:** hmmm guess i gotta turn off tagging on all my accounts 

**lanceylance:** i can’t wait to see glittery keith :)

**kogayne:** you’re lucky i love you

**lanceylance:** damn right i am <3

**carrierpidgeon:** BARF

**shayfromstatefarm:** i think it’s cute

**lanceylance:** I LOVE

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**lanceylance:** KOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE

**hunkerdunker:** yes we were aware

**kogayne:** sorry i didn’t hear who are you in love with

**lanceylance:** I HAVE A BOYFRIEND HIS NAME IS KEITH KOGANE AND I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART HE’S SO CUTE

**kogayne:** cute? i’m nOT CUTE, MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** oh and you don’t have a problem when shay says it i see how it is

**kogayne:** i am NOT CUTE

**lanceylance:** would you prefer adorable

**kogayne:** at lunch i am going to /prove/ that i am not /cute/

**carrierpidgeon:** oh god

**takashmeoutside:** do you two ever chill out

**lanceylance:** i am super chill all the time i have no idea what you’re on about, takashi

**takashmeoutside:** did you just call me takashi

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** super chill

**mattata:** you were literally screaming about loving keith like two seconds ago, we have the proof if you just sCROOL UP

**allurable:** scrool

**hunkerdunker:** scrool

**carrierpidgeon:** more like schruel

**kogayne:** /what/

**carrierpidgeon:** because school is cruel

**lanceylance:** yo mood

**lanceylance:** spanish is my best grade right now but that’s only bc it’s my first language

**hunkerdunker:** so what’s your second best grade

**lanceylance:** psych

**lanceylance:** and then astronomy

**allurable:** i’m guessing calculus is at the bottom

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMMMM YEP but keith’s been helping me, my grade is slowly crawling up

**kogayne:** :) i’m a good boyfriend sometimes

**lanceylance:** :O YOU’RE A GOOD BOYFRIEND ALL THE TIME

**carrierpidgeon:** SO WHAT’S FOR LUNCH

**carrierpidgeon:** ythink since they switched the pasta out yesterday, we’ll have it today??? bc this italian needs some tomato sauce

**mattata:** i want tomato sauce injected directly into my bloodstream

**mattata:** shiro allura can we go get italian for lunch

**carrierpidgeon:** you rotten brother, rubbing good italian in my face

**shayfromstatefarm:** aaand now i’m hungry

**hunkerdunker:** i jUST GOT OUT OF CULINARY LAST PERIOD YOU HEATHENS

**hunkerdunker:** and LUNCH ISN’T FOR TWO MORE PERIODS

**kogayne:** two more periods till i prove to lance i’m not cute

**lanceylance:** you’re gonna be proven wrong

**lanceylance:** you’re shorter than me, and by the principle of Small Things Being Cute, you’re automatically cute no matter what, it’s science

**carrierpidgeon:** I CHANGED THE SUBJECT SPECIFICALLY TO AVOID THIS

**allurable:** back to halloween, what is everyone else being

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m wearing a robot costume i’ve designed myself, with functional robot parts

**mattata:** LOOK AT MY GENIUS SISTER

**mattata:** look at her being a giant nerd

**carrierpidgeon:** fight me holt

**mattata:** square up holt

**allurable:** so anyway shiro matt and i are gonna be wonder woman, superman, and batman

**shayfromstatefarm:** omfg you’ll be so pretty!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** and sO KICKASS I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOUR COSTUME

**kogayne:** do not tell me shiro is batman

**takashmeoutside:** um

**mattata:** shiro is indeed batman, i am superman

**lanceylance:** hgjhdisaowoe i just wanna hear shiro go “i’m batman” in the batman voice

**carrierpidgeon:** me too tbh

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** i don’t think allura and matt need this reminder bc they’re dating shiro

**kogayne:** but reminder to avoid the dead parent jokes

**lanceylance:** oh my god i didn’t even think about that

**shayfromstatefarm:** we won’t mention it

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**allurable:** hunk!! shay!! costumes!!!

**hunkerdunker:** we’re gonna be carl and ellie from up

**allurable:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** HOW DARE YOU TWO, THAT SEQUENCE MADE ME CRY FOR LIKE THREE DAYS STRAIGHT

**lanceylance:** AND IT WAS ONLY 8 MINUTES LONG TO BEGIN WITH

**kogayne:** that’s it, you’re on my shit list, you’re gonna make him cry

**shayfromstatefarm:** HOW DO YOU THINK WE’LL FEEL

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK HAS THE SOUNDTRACK TO THAT SCENE SAVED TO HIS PHONE

**lanceylance:** HUNK ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE

**hunkerdunker:** halloween is the time to be scary

**hunkerdunker:** intense feelings, the scariest thing known to man

**lanceylance:** H U N K

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean the rapid advancements of AI pointing to a robot apocalypse where the machines become our overlords and start killing the dissenters is pretty terrifying, but feelings are scary too

**mattata:** what about being lost in the vast unending cold void of space

**lanceylance:** we know more about the universe than the ocean, which is on our planet, which means there are probably creatures and species in our waters that we don’t even know about, there could even be undersea civilizations plotting a takeover

**hunkerdunker:** ...are all of you okay

**kogayne:** isolation is pretty scary but i’m with hunk on this feelings thing

**hunkerdunker:** okay so forget i said anything,

**takashmeoutside:** SO I HOPE IT’S PASTA AT LUNCH ON BEHALF OF PIDGE

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

_ (6) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** LOOK AT THE PASTA LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS SAUCE IS LOOK AT THESE MEATBALLS, THEY DON’T LOOK DISGUSTING

**mattata:** the gremlin has been satisfied

**hunkerdunker:** the gremlin better shut her eyes if she wants to stay that way

**mattata:** why

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith is trying to prove that he’s not cute??

**hunkerdunker:** they’re being gross about it

**shayfromstatefarm:** i have never seen keith make lance so flustered, this is new

**hunkerdunker:** this is worse than the first time he showed up to thace’s class

**mattata:** how so

**hunkerdunker:** keith didn’t aggressively flirt while he was there

**hunkerdunker:** keith is currently /very aggressively/ flirting

**takashmeoutside:** ah, lance brought out Gross Keith

**carrierpidgeon:** aka Bad Boy Keith

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**allurable:** how is no one stopping this

**carrierpidgeon:** teachers often look the other way at lunch

**carrierpidgeon:** especially where seniors are concerned, /granted they’re not harassing people like certain assholes with the initials pm/

**hunkerdunker:** i really wish they’d look this way right now

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t believe these two, i don’t claim them

**takashmeoutside:** you’ll claim keith again once you need someone to discuss alien conspiracy theories with

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re OUT THERE, SHIRO

**carrierpidgeon:** AND WHEN THEY COME FOR EARTH WE WON’T BE READY BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT KEEPS DENYING THEIR EXISTENCE INSTEAD OF PREPARING US FOR AN INVASION

**mattata:** i feel like if there was another intelligent species out there in the universe with the capabilities of reaching us, they would’ve done it by now

**carrierpidgeon:** THEY ALREADY HAVE

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE PYRAMID ALIGNMENTS

**carrierpidgeon:** ACROSS CULTURES THAT WOULD HAVE REALISTICALLY HAD NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER, EMPIRES SPANNING CENTURIES

**hunkerdunker:** okay but what if there /are/ intelligent species out there that know of earth but haven’t bothered to show up because of the speed of light, bc all they see right now is like, an empty planet

**shayfromstatefarm:** or dinosaurs

**mattata:** or a decimated planet in a deep freeze bc of the meteor

**allurable:** maybe earth hasn’t even formed yet

**kogayne:** I HEARD ALIENS

**carrierpidgeon:** well, look who decided to stop sucking his boyfriend’s face

**kogayne:** i had to prove i wasn’t cute, i think i proved it

**lanceylance:** i still don’t believe you, i think i need a second demonstration ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE I WILL REMOVE YOU FROM THIS GROUP CHAT, FUCK THE RULES

**kogayne:** no you won’t

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t test me, mothman

**kogayne:** stop threatening my boyfriend

**lanceylance:** my knight in dented armor is here and i’m aLIVE 

**kogayne:** don’t talk to me or my husband ever again

**lanceylance:** HEY KEITH WANNA GET MARRIED WHEN I TURN EIGHTEEN

**takashmeoutside:** EIGHTEEN IS A LITTLE YOUNG

**takashmeoutside:** DON’T YOU WANNA LIKE, WAIT A BIT

**kogayne:** as soon as we’re in college marriage is going on the table

**kogayne:** so we only have to wait like 2 more months from your birthday

**lanceylance:** BET

**mattata:** did you two just

**mattata:** get engaged

**kogayne:** no i would need to get him a ring first

**lanceylance:** ummm i’m buying the rings

**kogayne:**  we’ll see

**lanceylance:** i will fight u for these rings

**kogayne:** are u assuming you’ll win

**carrierpidgeon:** CAN YOU TWO LIKE, DO THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** giving lance this promise ring on saturday will both give him a heart attack and make him lose his shit

**kogayne:** bc first he’ll be like “OH MY GOD NO WAY” but then he’ll be like “I WAS GONNA BUY THE RINGS YOU DICK” i can’t wait

**kogayne:** like i seriously can’t wait

**kogayne:** i want to promise my life to this boy rIGHT NOW

**takashmeoutside:** you are literally a puddle right now what the fuck

**takashmeoutside:** you’re generally an ICEBERG

**kogayne:** too much Loving Lance juice

**kogayne:** jk there’s nEVER TOO MUCH LOVING LANCE JUICE

**takashmeoutside:** can you pls behave yourself and finish out the school day

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t want a call from the office bc you were being excessively gross with lance in the cafeteria and during physics or astronomy

**kogayne:** actually we’re missing astronomy for a pep rally so no promises

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH AKIRA KOGANE

**kogayne:** YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD

**takashmeoutside:** AT THE RATE YOU’RE GIVING ME GRAY HAIRS I MAY AS WELL BE

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**lanceylance:** having a pep rally??? spending the whole pep rally at the back of the bleachers snuggling my boyfriend??? WHAT A GOOD WAY TO END THE DAY

**kogayne:** my hand is so sweaty

**lanceylance:** we held hands for a straight hour :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** nothing about that hour was straight

**hunkerdunker:** i just enjoyed spending the whole time with shay

**hunkerdunker:** she got really into the new cheers

**shayfromstatefarm:** the student section is about to be on FIRE

**carrierpidgeon:** just say lit and get it over with

**shayfromstatefarm:** THE STUDENT SECTION IS GONNA BE LIT TOMORROW NIGHT

**lanceylance:** catch me at the theatre bake sale table!!! support your local starving artists because we all know the school sure doesn’t!!!!

**kogayne:** catch me there with him :)

**carrierpidgeon:** if i go to this football game and catch you two under the bleachers making out again i stg

**kogayne:** how did…

**lanceylance:** THAT /WAS/ ALLURA I SAW

**allurable:** whaaat meee noooooo

**lanceylance:** FAKE FRIEND

**lanceylance:** YOU SENT IT TO THAT OTHER GROUP CHAT DIDN’T YOU

**allurable:** what other group chat

**lanceylance:** DON’T PLAY DUMB WITH ME ALTEA

**kogayne:** can i have those photos

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH :D

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i just wanna tell you that you make me really, really fucking happy and i’m so in love with you that i’m actually sort of crying right now, i’m so lucky to have you

**lanceylance:** KEITH I’M GONNA CRY

**lanceylance:** IS THAT PART OF THE REASON YOU’VE BEEN SO HAPPY LATELY

**kogayne:** maaaaybe :)

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** WHAT PROMPTED THIS

**kogayne:** nothing really

**kogayne:** just between hanging out today and getting ready for the game tomorrow and the party on saturday, i just :)))))) i’m so in love???

**lanceylance:** hoylshit

**lanceylance:** mUSHY KEITH IS MAKING MY HEART EXPLODE

**kogayne:** happy lance is making me even mushier, what a vicious cycle ;)

**lanceylance:** SHDFJEWOFOAJSJF I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I’M GONNA HUSBAND YOU SO HARD ONE DAY

**kogayne:** NOT IF I HUSBAND YOU FIRST

**lanceylance:** IS THAT A CHALLENGE, FUCKFACE

**kogayne:** MAYBE IT IS, DICKHEAD

**lanceylance:** IT’S  O N

**lanceylance:** PREPARE TO LOSE

**kogayne:** PREPARE TO EAT YOUR WORDS

**lanceylance:** I LOVE YOU ASSHOLE

**kogayne:** I LOVE YOU MORE DOUCHEBAG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i don't find a boy who treats me like lance and keith treat each other then what, pray tell, is the fucking point


	36. everyone is Soft™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the team loves pidge; lance and keith love each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TOLD MYSELF I WASN'T GONNA WRITE A FRIDAY CHAPTER BUT I AM WEAK FOR KLANCE

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**lanceylance:** school today was a waste, the only upside was sleeping on keith in the middle of study hall

**carrierpidgeon:** define “sleeping on keith”

_ (2) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** completely slumped over, entirely knocked out

**allurable:** and your study hall teacher didn’t say anything??

**kogayne:** hira’s also covering study hall

**kogayne:** it was a half day and she was too busy hounding student government about homecoming to do anything about us

**kogayne:** study hall was essentially “don’t act sus and don’t act out i have too much to do”

_ (17) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** which allowed me to get /these/ pictures

**lanceylance:** WH

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** :)  <3

**allurable:** homecoming isn’t for a week, what does hira have to be stressed about

**hunkerdunker:** she just got put in charge of hoco after the original teacher in charge got a job somewhere else, and student government wasn’t told anything, and now reservations are screwed up and stuff like that, we don’t have any decorations or anything, the venue had the wrong headcount

**shayfromstatefarm:** the usual shenanigans

**carrierpidgeon:** HOCO IS A FUCKING DISASTER MAN LEMME TELL YOU

**kogayne:** [suddenly remembers that pidge is a cabinet member]

**carrierpidgeon:** WRONG HEADCOUNT, KIDS WHO TURNED IN PERMISSION SLIPS DON’T HAVE TICKETS, KIDS WHO DIDN’T TURN THEM IN DO, THE BALLROOM WAS WRONG, THE TABLE COUNT WAS WRONG, WE STILL HAVE NO FOOD SET UP, NOBODY HAS GONE DECORATION SHOPPING AND NO ONE WANTED TO VOLUNTEER, WE DON’T KNOW WHO’S CHAPERONING, WHICH POLICE FORCE IS GONNA BE THERE

**carrierpidgeon:** NONE OF THE SENIORS WANNA DO ANYTHING

**carrierpidgeon:** THE ONLY ONE EVEN REMOTELY TRYING IS ACXA

**takashmeoutside:** isn’t she part of lotor’s little group

**carrierpidgeon:** YES, SHE IS, AND SHE’S BEING SUSPICIOUSLY NICE TO ME, AND SHE’S NEVER EVEN /TALKED/ TO ME BEFORE TODAY

**lanceylance:** that’s half of lotor’s group being nice to pidge

**kogayne:** to be fair, pidge is very easy to adopt, even if she is a gremlin more often than not

**takashmeoutside:** everyone feels naturally drawn to protect her

**allurable:** beneath the gremlin-ness, she is Soft™ 

**hunkerdunker:** like mashpotatoes

**carrierpidgeon:** i will kick all of your asses

**mattata:** pidge is secretly one of the softest people i know

**carrierpidgeon:** SHDFHFJSALD MATT STOP EXPOSING ME TO THE GROUP CHAT

**kogayne:** OH, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED

**mattata:** just last week you were crying bc you got rover to beep out something that sounded like “i love you”

**carrierpidgeon:** IT WAS 3 AM

**takashmeoutside:** DO ANY OF YOU EVER SLEEP

**kogayne:** the Witching Hour

**takashmeoutside:** into cryptids, into conspiracy theories, into mythology, and now you’re into the supernatural and magical???

**kogayne:** how is this surprising to you

**kogayne:** you’ve known me literally all my life, i’ve lived with you since i was like, twelve

**kogayne:** and excuse you, cryptids can technically be in the vein of the supernatural

**carrierpidgeon:** and mythology straight-up crosses into the magical, like there were literal goddesses of magic and witchcraft

**kogayne:** get your shit together shiro

**hunkerdunker:** good to see the cryptkids back in full force, now can pidge just admit she’s soft

**carrierpidgeon:** HHHHHHH HUNK YOU’RE DOING ME /SO/ DIRTY RIGHT NOW

**shayfromstatefarm:** PIDGE IS SOFT

**carrierpidgeon:** F I N E  I’M JUST A BIG OL SOFTY BUT I HAVE A REPUTATION TO MAINTAIN

**hunkerdunker:** one time you started enthusiastically going off about robots in the hallway

**shayfromstatefarm:** another time you got sad bc someone insulted your robot’s appearance

**carrierpidgeon:** NO ONE TALKS TRASH ABOUT ROVER, HE DOESN’T DESERVE IT

**mattata:** that’s it, that’s pidge’s weakness,

**mattata:** / r o b o t s /

**carrierpidgeon:** THE NICE ROBOTS, NOT THE ASSHOLES WHO ARE GONNA TAKE OVER THE EARTH AND ENSLAVE HUMANITY

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYWAY IF ANYONE EXPOSES ME TO THE SCHOOL THEN I WILL KICK YOUR ASS

**lanceylance:** the Pidge Protection Squad will look out for you, don’t you worry

**allurable:** is that another group chat i’m not in

**lanceylance:** ...ANYWAY I’VE GOT SOME EXCITING NEWS ON THE PLAY, THE CAST LIST /STILL ISN’T FUCKING READY/

**kogayne:** wasn’t it supposed to be out wednesday

**lanceylance:** YES BUT APPARENTLY WE’RE HAVING CALLBACKS, YA BOI GOT A CALLBACK

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** oh my god i have a callback

**shayfromstatefarm:** so do i!!!

**lanceylance:** YEP, CONGRATS GUYS!!!

**kogayne:** i knew u could do it

**lanceylance:** ummm obviously,

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY callbacks are wednesday, SO, mr gsa VP, you need to take over the meeting until i return

**kogayne:** i’ll do my best, though it will be difficult to fill the shoes of such an inspiring leader

**kogayne:** you’ll be dearly missed, 

**mattata:** he’ll be gone for like 15 minutes he’s not dying 

**kogayne:** a lot can happen in 15 minutes

**lanceylance:** are you implying i’m going to die in the time between callbacks and walking to gsa

**kogayne:** an unfortunate possibility we can’t overlook

**kogayne:** if u die i’ll avenge you 

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** did anyone else notice that nyma got a callback

**carrierpidgeon:** so did lotion

**kogayne:** wait wha

**kogayne:** holy shit

**shayfromstatefarm:** and ezor

**kogayne:** jfjekwworoewidnf

**hunkerdunker:** yeah, i saw them at auditions last friday, i forgot to mention that

**hunkerdunker:** but anyway, lotor’s already established that they’re on our side, i don’t see anything worth worrying about with them

**kogayne:** that reassures me only a little bit bc NYMA

**shayfromstatefarm:** please keep in mind that hunk and i will also be at callbacks

**hunkerdunker:** we’ve got this covered

**kogayne:** PLEASE

**kogayne:** let me know if she tries some shit

**shayfromstatefarm:** relax, keith

**shayfromstatefarm:** i really don’t think they’ll mess around with callbacks

**shayfromstatefarm:** and even if they do, lance can hold his own, too

**kogayne:** i know,,,

**kogayne:** i really just don’t want anything happening to him

**kogayne:** you know how he gets

**kogayne:** he’d rather put on a brave front than let anyone know he’s suffering

**allurable:** shiro pls take keith’s phone away before he talks himself into a breakdown

**allurable:** better yet can someone get lance to him

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** lance has been here since school got out

**allurable:** okay then keith pUT THE PHONE AWAY AND JUST TALK TO LANCE

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**allurable:** anyone who’s going to the football game, dress warm!!!

**allurable:** it’s getting down to the 50s tonight!

**lanceylance:** 50s? bet i think i have a leather jacket somewhere

**kogayne:** you own a what

**lanceylance:** well it’s not mine it’s my older brother’s but i think he left it when he went to college

**kogayne:** you own a WHAT

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** I FOUND IT

**kogayne:** fhgrtewntkrtrkb knrberrn ebrnrt

**mattata:** keith.exe has stopped working

**lanceylance:** keith what’s wrong

**lanceylance:** are u...distracted ?

**kogayne:** RTJTYREHSTYRJTEHRFYMYT

**hunkerdunker:** just one day without this,,, just one day,, PLEASE

**carrierpidgeon:** allura why did you say something

**allurable:** i’ve made a Mistake

**kogayne:** u cant’ do htis to me withou wnairn

**lanceylance:** LMFAOOOOO

**lanceylance:** I FOUND ANOTHER OF KEITH’S WEAKNESSES: ME IN A LEATHER JACKET

**lanceylance:** god and i thought keith looked hot in one

**shayfromstatefarm:** SO ANYWAY THE FOOTBALL GAME, IT’S GOING TO BE FREEZING, DOES ANYONE NEED SCARVES? I APPEAR TO HAVE AN EXCESS

**carrierpidgeon:** can we choke lance w one

**lanceylance:** ;)))

**carrierpidgeon:** fduckign dmammit

**hunkerdunker:** we need to filter ourselves like he’s five, haven’t you learned by now

**lanceylance:** FIVE ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN

**lanceylance:** ,,,WAIT

**carrierpidgeon:** screenshot successfully saved

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s going in your birthday compilation in july

**shayfromstatefarm:** put it in his christmas compilation

**carrierpidgeon:** oh worm?

**lanceylance:** AWFUL FRIENDS, ALL OF YOU, 100% DISOWNED

**hunkerdunker:** fine no more of my sweet home cooking for u then

**lanceylance:** wAIT HUNK

**lanceylance:** WAIT THAT DIDN’T APPLY TO U COME BACK

**lanceylance:** HUNK MY BLANKET STATEMENTS DON’T APPLY TO YOU

**hunkerdunker:** it’s too late, words have been had

**lanceylance:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**mattata:** top ten anime betrayals

**takashmeoutside:** oh so this is why my phone won’t stop blowing up

**takashmeoutside:** someone remind me to put the gc on do not disturb

**kogayne:** we’re your only friends, we’ve been over this

**takashmeoutside:** my only friends are my boyfriend and girlfriend and five teenagers,,,

**takashmeoutside:** i am leading a tragic lifestyle

**mattata:** how dare you

**mattata:** after all i’ve done for you

**allurable:** all shiro does when he opens the gc is roast us and complain about his life

**takashmeoutside:** it’s my aesthetic

**shayfromstatefarm:** are we sure lance didn’t steal his phone

_ (2) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** lance is over there, i’m in the kitchen

**carrierpidgeon:** this whole time we’ve blamed keith for being broody,,,,,, shiro raised him this way

**takashmeoutside:** just trying to get into the batman mindset

**allurable:** dfhreremyut

**allurable:** YOU’VE SPENT MONTHS TRYING TO GET INTO THE BATMAN MINDSET THEN

**takashmeoutside:** this group chat’s existed only for like 2 months

**mattata:** yeah, he wasn’t always broody, i remember just the other day he was happily screaming my name

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** uhhh no comment

**allurable:** WHY WASN’T I INVITED

**kogayne:** OH AND LANCE AND I ARE THE GROSS ONES

**lanceylance:** smh

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** help

**takashmeoutside:** what

**kogayne:** lance brought out his blanket, we’re two idiots snuggling under a blanket, do you know how hard it is to take customers seriously at this stupid bake sale when lance is snuggling the shit out of me under a fuzzy shark blanket

**takashmeoutside:** how long have u been suffering before u caved and texted

**kogayne:** half an hour

**kogayne:** he’s so warm and soft,,, FUCK SHIRO I LOVE HIM

**kogayne:** i brought the rings with me

**takashmeoutside:** you wHHAT

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna lose them i always wanna know where they are and

**kogayne:** giving them to him tomorrow seems so stupid

**takashmeoutside:** why

**kogayne:** bc i’m gonna be trying too hard to make the mood right

**kogayne:** the mood is right rIGHT NOW

**takashmeoutside:** then do it

**kogayne:** GO GET THE REST OF THE GROUP, I HAVE AN IDEA, HURRY UP GRANOLA BAR

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

_ (21) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** SEE THESE PHOTOS

**lanceylance:** MEMORIZE THEM

**lanceylance:** PUT THEM ON EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM EVER

**lanceylance:** I WANT THESE BURNED ONTO MY RETINAS FOREVER

**allurable:** keith wins hocosals 2kforever

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT’S NOT JUST A HOCOSAL

**lanceylance:** WE’RE OFFICIALLY PROMISED TO EACH OTHER

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T BELIEVE KEITH KOGANE IS MY PROMISED

**lanceylance:** I AM PROMISED TO KEITH KOGANE

**lanceylance:** H OLY SHIT

**lanceylance:** BUT ALSO,

**lanceylance:** KEITH, YOU ABSOLUTE SHITHEAD

**lanceylance:** I SAID I WAS GETTING THE RINGS

**kogayne:** :) by the time u said that, these had already been purchased :)))

**lanceylance:** WHAT IN THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** YOU ROMANTIC PIECE OF SHIT

**lanceylance:** I AM GOING TO HUSBAND YOU SO HARD, THAT’S A FUCKING  P R O M I S E

**kogayne:** it fucking better be

**lanceylance:** IS THAT A CHALLENGE

**kogayne:** dO YOU WANT IT TO BE

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m having deja vu

**hunkerdunker:** can u two pls focus on selling to ur customers before someone steals food while ur too busy texting

**hunkerdunker:** while you’re standing rIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER

**lanceylance:** hunk please no one’s gonna steal our food

_ (3) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** actually

**lanceylance:** TINY GREMLIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then keith and lance went back to lance's house and watched buzzfeed unsolved together 
> 
> homecoming is tonight and i should be getting ready,,,, but instead i'm writing fanfiction, what am i doing with my life  
> also if you're waiting on a stars go down update, i'm only like 1000 words in, SOS


	37. the halloween party (aka keith and lance take over most of the chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the halloween party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly just klance, i wish i could say i was sorry but i'm not
> 
> this is the saturday chapter, there will be no sunday chapter, hoping to get one up for monday

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning promised  <3

**kogayne:** good morning starboy

**lanceylance:** so,,, these shadowhunter tattoos….i need help with them

**lanceylance:** wanna come over early and help me get them on, and i can help you get ready

**kogayne:** the only thing i really need /help/ with is my makeup tho??

**kogayne:** i mean yeah of course i’ll come over and help you but????? are we inviting allura too? 

**lanceylance:** why would we invite allura

**kogayne:** ...to do my makeup, are you paying attention

**lanceylance:** umm i’m doing your makeup?

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** i’m doing your makeup, i have everything i need, i can do makeup

**kogayne:** wait what

**kogayne:** WAIT SINCE WHEN CAN YOU DO MAKEUP

**lanceylance:** my older siblings used to use me as a human test doll

**lanceylance:** i got interested and asked for lessons

**lanceylance:** i’ve been able to do makeup for a while,,,, dID I NOT TELL YOU???

**kogayne:** NO, YOU NEVER TOLD ME, I’VE NEVER EVEN SEEN MAKEUP IN YOUR ROOM

**lanceylance:** well the best lighting has always been at the vanity in my sister’s old room so that’s where i keep all the makeup

**lanceylance:** wait i seriously never told you???

**kogayne:** NO

**lanceylance:** shit, i meant to at some point

**kogayne:** why did you never tell me to begin with??

**lanceylance:** well when we first started dating i was sort of embarrassed about it?? like “i finally get a cool boyfriend i can’t just tell him i can do makeup he’s gonna think i’m weird and wanna leave me”

**lanceylance:** yknow stupid gender constructs still in my brain

**lanceylance:** and then i never really,,,, found a good time to tell you? i’ve been meaning to like i swear i haven’t been actively trying to keep it a secret

**lanceylance:** at least, not in the last few months

**lanceylance:** wait do you think it’s weird???

**kogayne:** no???

**kogayne:** why would i think that’s weird wtf

**kogayne:** I’M A GAY BOY WHO GOES INTO THE WOODS ON THE WEEKENDS WITH A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD ACE GIRL TO HUNT CRYPTIDS, WE’RE PAST THE POINT OF WEIRD

**lanceylance:** i thought we just established that i thought you were too cool and you would look on me with disgust

**kogayne:** i’d nEVER

**lanceylance:** well i mean obviously i know that now

**lanceylance:** back then i was still scared, especially after,,,,

**kogayne:** i think i’m in a good enough state in my life where we can address that issue without beating around the bush anymore

**kogayne:** if u are too, then we can just say their names, i’m not gonna panic at the thought of them anymore

**lanceylance:** after my relationship with nyma ended i felt really shitty and really didn’t like some of those parts of myself, so i was,,, scared that you’d react the way she did, alright

**kogayne:** lance, starboy, boy i literally promised myself to yesterday,

**kogayne:** i’d NEVER

**kogayne:** rolo made me so unhappy, he thought my cryptid hunts were fucking weird, all he wanted to do with me was fix cars and shit and like,,, not that i don’t like mechanics, but CRYPTIDS WERE SO FUN

**kogayne:** why do you think i waited so long to tell you about those

**lanceylance:** you didn’t even tell me, pidge accidentally let your identity slip

**kogayne:** SEE!! i thought u’d think i was some fucking weirdo and then expose me to the whole school

**kogayne:** and hell, makeup is a damn art form, it takes SKILL to do killer makeup

**kogayne:** i’ve never really looked down upon people for doing makeup???? especially with shiro as my cousin??? i mean come on man some days he does some INCREDIBLE wings

**lanceylance:** mmmm u right

**lanceylance:** i’m really sorry i never told you sooner, i seriously didn’t mean to keep this from you

**kogayne:** it’s okay

**kogayne:** wait so who else knows

**lanceylance:** no one, not even hunk

**kogayne:** YOU TELL HUNK EVERYTHING

**lanceylance:** i know

**lanceylance:** i was GONNA tell him but then i just,,,, didn’t

**lanceylance:** up until now i thought you were the only one i ever told, besides nyma,,,,, and i never really told her, she just sorta found my stash,

**lanceylance:** ...and then i told her what it was instead of lying and saying it was my sister’s…

**kogayne:** but wait if you keep it in your sister’s vanity why the fuck was she in there in the first place

**lanceylance:** i left her alone for a minute so i could pee

**lanceylance:** ...WAIT SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** YOU KNOW, I HAD TWENTY BUCKS THAT WENT MISSING THAT WEEK, SHE PROBABLY STOLE IT

**kogayne:** HOW ARE YOU JUST NOW REALIZING THIS

**lanceylance:** I WAS TOO DISTRAUGHT OVER MY INTEREST IN MAKEUP BEING DESTROYED TO NOTICE HER STEALING TWENTY BUCKS

**lanceylance:** EMOTIONAL TURMOIL IS A GOOD DISTRACTOR

**kogayne:** lance :(

**lanceylance:** so wait, be serious with me, you don’t think it’s weird? and you’d be down with me doing your makeup?

**kogayne:** i don’t think it’s weird, i think it’s impressive, and i’m more than happy to let you stick brushes and sharp things near my eyes, bc i trust you

**kogayne:** and i also want to know if this is why you never wear makeup, or if you just don’t feel like it

**lanceylance:** ehhh both? as we both know i’m very Extra when it comes to certain things and makeup is one of them, like, i don’t have time in the morning to do a full look, even if it’s nude

**kogayne:** well then be glad you don’t need makeup to look amazing

**lanceylance:** JASJDJWLLFFAOSNDVNA FLIRTY KEITH CAN’T JUST SHOW UP WITHOUT WARNING

**kogayne:** ??? yes he can, he just did

**kogayne:** what, afraid to lose at your own game mcclain?

**lanceylance:** you’ve left me no choice, kogane

_ (1) video from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** what in the fuck

**kogayne:** SHUT YOURFUCK

**lanceylance:** so you coming over or what, i have the perfect magnus makeup look planned

**lanceylance:** IT’S GOT GLITTERRRR

**kogayne:** be over in 10

**kogayne:** ajdnekwlffmdn i can’t believe i’m willingly having glitter put on my face

**lanceylance:** you love me so much  <3

**kogayne:** yeah, i guess i do  <3

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**allurable:** SO WHO’S READY FOR THIS PHOTOSHOOT

**takashmeoutside:** i’m batman

**mattata:** ME

**hunkerdunker:** shay and i are gonna make u guys cry so hard

**carrierpidgeon:** never thought i’d see the day hunk took joy in inflicting pain

**hunkerdunker:** in this circumstance, yes, and also against certain people in other circumstances

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk doesn’t mess around when people insult his loved ones

**hunkerdunker:** what can i say ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** a true ride or die

**hunkerdunker:** ride or die, yes, but also ready to call u out

**hunkerdunker:** i am many things, and an enabler is not one of them

**hunkerdunker:** or at least, i try not to be

**carrierpidgeon:** true friendship is being able to call ur friends on their bullshit and make them better people

**carrierpidgeon:** if they don’t wanna hear it then they’re not your friends, and not people u wanna be friends with

**mattata:** that was...incredibly wise of you

**mattata:** you’re 15 what the fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** it was something one of my teachers said

**carrierpidgeon:** she was telling us this story about this group of girls in one of her other classes, and girl A was doing girls B and C dirty, so when girl B called her out on it girl A got super defensive and wouldn’t apologize, wouldn’t listen to the logical arguments presented

**carrierpidgeon:** and she like, cut them off and started hanging out with other people

**carrierpidgeon:** so girls B and C were upset, obviously, so they talked to my teacher and she told them that

**carrierpidgeon:** and then she told my class about it

**carrierpidgeon:** so, yknow, if i’m ever being a trashbag, feel free to put me in my place, i want to learn and grow

**carrierpidgeon:** just pls do it nicely

**mattata:** hannah montana said nobody’s perfect, you live and you learn it

**mattata:** people often forget that second line, and use the queen’s words to justify their shitty behavior

**carrierpidgeon:** did you call hannah montana your queen

**lanceylance:** I HEARD HANNAH MONTANA

**shayfromstatefarm:** well, one half of klance is here, where’s the other

**lanceylance:** tonight, we are not /klance/, we are /malec/

**kogayne:** hi i’m magnus bane, i’m genuinely surprised alec hasn’t spammed the group chat with photos of me yet

**lanceylance:** heh heh

_ (23) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** holy shit

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOU BOTH LOOK SO GOOD??

**allurable:** KEITH IN GLITTER??? IN THIS REALITY??

**mattata:** saving these all to my blackmail folder

**takashmeoutside:** i’m batman

**kogayne:** yeah we know, care to make a comment on our photos

**takashmeoutside:** i’m batman

**hunkerdunker:** um

**allurable:** he’s in character, apparently

**takashmeoutside:** i’m batman

**lanceylance:** yeah, /batman/, not fucking groot

**takashmeoutside:** I’M BATMAN

**lanceylance:** alluraaaaaa maaaaaaaatt your boyfriend is being mean to meeeee

**allurable:** you threw the f word at him

**lanceylance:** HE SHOULD BE OLD ENOUGH AND MATURE ENOUGH FOR IT

**takashmeoutside:** i’m fucking batmam

**lanceylance:** batma’am

**kogayne:** batma’am, you’re being escorted off the premises

**allurable:** who’s batmam and why are you fucking them, i thought we had something

**mattata:** whoa what a plot twist

**carrierpidgeon:** batmam is actually taking care of gotham city while batman sulks over catwoman

**allurable:** I SHOULD’VE BEEN CATWOMAN

**shayfromstatefarm:** no shhh shhhhhhh your costumes this year are A+

**allurable:** thank you shay, you absolute ray of sunshine

**hunkerdunker:** a shay of sunshine

**lanceylance:** a shay of runrine

**kogayne:** okay scooby-doo

**carrierpidgeon:** scoobert doobert

**lanceylance:** ajdkgrelgjes i am being atTACKED

**kogayne:** you’ve brought this upon yourself

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**allurable:** photos will be available in about three weeks!!! i rlly loved the way they turned out

**kogayne:** me too

**carrierpidgeon:** you heathen i know exactly which photo you’re thinking about

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ it was my favorite one, what can i say

**lanceylance:** mine too  <3333

**lanceylance:** now let’s get going to this party shall we???? i have a promised boy to show off

**carrierpidgeon:** you two are so far gone for each other it is DISGUSTING

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i found a balcony, there’s no one out here

**kogayne:** i thought you said you were going to the bathroom

**lanceylance:** i was, but then i got curious and started doing some exploring

**lanceylance:** the alteas have freaking CONNECTIONS, man, i found like 3 empty sketchy rooms full of old statues and paintings and shit

**kogayne:** tell me you didn’t go in any

**lanceylance:** i didn’t

**lanceylance:** but anyway i found a curtain and i pulled it back and there was a balcony

**lanceylance:** you need to come back here and look at the sky it’s fucking majestic, it almost compares to you

**kogayne:** you cna’t just siayn tha

**lanceylance:** can and did, fucker

**lanceylance:** here i’m gonna come find you and drag your ass out here, where are you

**kogayne:** i’m over by the punch bowl, some guys are eying me

**lanceylance:** SKFGKWKAKDMFMGNRPAA THAT IS MY BOYFRIEND BIBBITY BOBBITY BACK THE FUCK UP

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** where are these guys

**kogayne:** where are you??

**lanceylance:** staircase

**lanceylance:** who are they

**kogayne:** :)

**lanceylance:** yOU FUCKING LIAR

**kogayne:** i have a thing for Protective Lance, what can i say

**kogayne:** now come protect me before there actually are some guys

**lanceylance:** time to ride off into the sunset

 

**_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** you just watched that whole thing too, right

**hunkerdunker:** i want eye bleach

**shayfromstatefarm:** i cannot defend them today

**carrierpidgeon:** why are we friends with them

**shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_Ace Week 2017_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** it is now 12:00 AM october 29th, ace week is over, everyone but lance and keith can now fight to the death over the group chat name

**_mattata_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_The Meme Team_ **

**_takashmeoutside_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_suffering™_ **

**_allurable_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_Halloweekend_ **

**_kogayne_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_FIGHT THE POWER_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_I made this group chat you heathens_ **

**_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_please get some sleep_ **

**_hunkerdunker_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Ace Week 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_Screaming and Memeing_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** what have i done

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Screaming and Memeing_ ** _ to  _ **_Pidge’s Bidges_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Pidge’s Bidges_ ** _ to  _ **_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** that one is at least catchy

**lanceylance:** MIND YOU ALL, I MADE THIS CHAT

**allurable:** he makes a fair point

**allurable:** for now, Lanceylance  & the Lancers it is

**kogayne:** i can’t believe i’ve been reduced to a backup lancer

**lanceylance:** umm no you’re my partner???

**carrierpidgeon:** PLEASE DO THIS ELSEWHERE

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good night, i love you

**kogayne:** nooooo don’t go, 

**lanceylance:** babe we need sleep

**kogayne:** why didn’t u come over after the party :(

**lanceylance:** my mom needed me home

**kogayne:** :((((( i miss u

**lanceylance:** we just saw each other

**kogayne:** :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

**lanceylance:** someone had too much punch

**kogayne:** i barely had any

**kogayne:** i don’t get drunk

**kogayne:** i don’t like losing control over my actions

**lanceylance:** sleep deprivation does that too, now shhhh, get some sleep, handsome

**kogayne:** fkaaLDJFJEN

**lanceylance:** gnight  <3

**kogayne:** night  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm is it just me or is lance acting a little sus in that last section?? HMMMMMMMMMMMM


	38. lance is a hot mess of anxiety and depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot of things happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a Long Boi, it has an actual Plot
> 
> if any of u find it unrealistic or something i have justification in the ending note (i mean it's my fanfic technically i don't NEED to justify anything and it IS tagged as a ventfic but all of u readers are lovely so i will elaborate on things for u, thanks for all ur nice comments)
> 
> this chapter starts at 11 PM sunday and finishes in the afternoon monday just to be clear

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey are you feeling okay? you didn’t show up at all in the gc today, and you never texted back

**kogayne:** is something going on??

**lanceylance:** just not feeling well

**lanceylance:** ...emotionally

**lanceylance:** i’m sorry for ghosting i just

**lanceylance:** i couldn’t put any words together today i felt like shit the entire day

**lanceylance:** sorry if i worried u :///

**kogayne:** if you need to talk about it, i’m here, you know that

**kogayne:** and you don’t need to apologize, i know how you get

**lanceylance:** i know it’s just my anxiety being an ass over stupid shit we’ve already talked about

**lanceylance:** like “oh boy!!! what if you and keith are only still together out of spite!!!!” and,,, stuff like that

**kogayne:** out of spite?

**lanceylance:** like everyone kept telling us we’d never last, we’re unhealthy, and so we just kind of stayed together only to prove them wrong

**lanceylance:** which i KNOW is dumb because i wouldn’t be wearing a promise ring with our favorite stones on it if u didn’t genuinely love me and i didn’t genuinely love you but

**lanceylance:** hhhhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** and then at the party,,, i dunno,,,,,something at the party triggered it but i can’t even pinpoint /what/

**lanceylance:** that’s why i didn’t go home w u but i didn’t know how to tell u so i lied and said my mom needed me i’m sorry

**lanceylance:** obviously i owed you a better explanation than that but i felt bad that after a whole night together my mood just decided to do a whole 180

**kogayne:** heyheyhey no need to apologize

**kogayne:** i understand

**kogayne:** i’m not holding anything against you

**kogayne:** sometimes my thoughts go that route too, but rest assured: i love you

**kogayne:** so much

**kogayne:** if you need space to sort out your feelings, i’ll give you all the space you need

**kogayne:** ...did you not want these rings? did i do this too soon?

**lanceylance:** shit keith nononononono

**lanceylance:** i spent all of yesterday staring at this thing to reassure myself that we really do love each other, that you’d understand, that you’d be here when i was ready to talk

**lanceylance:** don’t even think for a second that i think this is too soon

**lanceylance:** i love you too, okay??? ...and now i kinda miss you

**kogayne:** it’s only 11, i can come over and we can get a solid six or so hours before school

**lanceylance:** actually...can you come pick me up and bring us back to your house?

**kogayne:** yeah of course, i’ll be there soon

**kogayne:** you wanna be the little spoon tonight?

**lanceylance:** yes pls

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** hey just a heads up, lance is kind of out of it today, be nice to him

**allurable:** i was wondering what was up with him

**allurable:** he didn’t answer any of my texts

**kogayne:** he didn’t answer anyone, as far as i know

**kogayne:** hunk, did he answer you?

**hunkerdunker:** not until this morning

**hunkerdunker:** he told me he wasn’t feeling well

**kogayne:** he meant emotionally

**kogayne:** i’m with him right now and he seems okay at the moment, but he’s definitely not at 100%

**carrierpidgeon:** did something happen?

**kogayne:** anxiety, basically

**kogayne:** he said something at the halloween party triggered it but he doesn’t know what

**shayfromstatefarm:** were rolo, nyma, or lotor and co at the party?

**mattata:** i didn’t see them

**allurable:** me neither

**takashmeoutside:** negatory

**carrierpidgeon:** premises were asshole-free as far as i could tell

**kogayne:** hmmmm

**kogayne:** i gotta go lance is finally waking up and we have to get ready for school

**allurable:** take care of the boy!!!

**kogayne:** will do

 

**_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so are we gonna be nice today and actively defend the two of them

**hunkerdunker:** yes, absolutely

**hunkerdunker:** lance hasn’t done a 24 hour ghost since sophomore year

**hunkerdunker:** and even then, he still kept contact with /me/

**hunkerdunker:** this time he totally shut down

**hunkerdunker:** whatever got to him got to him BAD

**shayfromstatefarm:** should we maybe get into contact with lotor’s squad or something

**shayfromstatefarm:** since we have that alliance?? thing???? 

**carrierpidgeon:** i have zethrid and acxa’s numbers, but not lotion, ezor, or narti

**hunkerdunker:** i got ezor’s, don’t ask why

**carrierpidgeon:** acxa seems the most level-headed of all of them, let me text her and let her know

**carrierpidgeon:** tbh i don’t trust anyone going through lactose intolerant

**hunkerdunker:** i would wait, and see if they try and contact us today

**hunkerdunker:** no point in talking to them if we don’t have to, and no point in exposing lance’s vulnerabilities to them

**carrierpidgeon:** shit u right

 

**_hunkerdunker > kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** how was he first period

**kogayne:** i’ve never seen him this low

**kogayne:** he put on Bravado Lance for about ten minutes before giving up

**hunkerdunker:** what did he tell you was eating at him

**kogayne:** just anxiety over our relationship

**kogayne:** i have a strong suspicion he wasn’t telling me everything

**kogayne:** bc we talked through it, and if that was it, i don’t think it would be eating at him this much

**hunkerdunker:** he’s never been this bad

**kogayne:** do you think he’s,,,

**hunkerdunker:** i don’t /think/ so

**hunkerdunker:** i’m wondering if it was a culmination of different things hitting him at once

**kogayne:** i really hope that’s all it is

**kogayne:** is there anything you know of that i can do??? 

**hunkerdunker:** i’m sure whatever you’re doing right now should be fine

**hunkerdunker:** you know how he operates just as much as i do

**kogayne:** yeah, i know

**kogayne:** look out for him periods 3 and 4 

**hunkerdunker:** he’s my best friend, of course

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll text you updates and let you know if anything comes out of it

 

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ , _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ , and _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ to _ **_blue boy bodyguards_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i saw nyma doing something at lance’s locker, just a head’s up

**carrierpidgeon:** when does he go to his locker

**kogayne:** WHAT THE HELL

**hunkerdunker:** usually between lunch and physics

**hunkerdunker:** with all of us

**kogayne:** i have lance’s combo, i’m going to scope things out

 

**_blue boy bodyguards_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** so who’s helping me hide a body

**hunkerdunker:** so wait, were they at the party last night then?

**shayfromstatefarm:** do you think maybe somehow they contacted lance before the party, or texted him during the party?

**kogayne:** i don’t know but my blood is BOILING

**kogayne:** i NEVER said any of this crap about lance to rolo when i was dating him

**kogayne:** these are all blatant LIES what the hell

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re gonna have to let him know what’s going on

**kogayne:** i’m on it, this can’t wait

**shayfromstatefarm:** hold on, this is 2017, why is she dropping shit in his locker

**kogayne:** the note wasn’t signed, we just happened to catch her

**kogayne:** plus i recognized her handwriting and her stupid nickname for rolo

**kogayne:** if she texted lance then the number could be traced 

**kogayne:** ANYWAY let me text my boyfriend before someone else gets to him 

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** babe

**lanceylance:** you never use babe

**lanceylance:** you okay?

**kogayne:** this isn’t about me, this is about you, someone was attempting to put something in your locker to purposefully set you off

**lanceylance:** what?

**kogayne:** nyma put this in your locker today 

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i want you to know that i  N E V E R  said any of that

**lanceylance:** wait why were you in my locker

**lanceylance:** nvm you have my combo

**lanceylance:** but how did you know

**kogayne:** pidge happened upon nyma stuffing it in

**kogayne:** listen to me, i love you, i’ve never said those things about you

**kogayne:** i don’t know why rolo and nyma have been targeting you, but we’re going to get them to stop

**lanceylance:** please don’t fight my battles for me

**kogayne:** they’ve been harassing you for over a week now

**kogayne:** are they the real reason you got set off saturday?

**lanceylance:** …

**lanceylance:** rolo was at that party

**lanceylance:** he was lowkey stalking me, and that’s the real reason i found the balcony

**kogayne:** none of us saw him?

**lanceylance:** he was mostly staying to the walls and wearing some dark costume with a mask, he scared the fuck out of me

**kogayne:** did he threaten you?

**kogayne:** lance??

**lanceylance:** ...yeah

**kogayne:** what did he say

**lanceylance:** you mean after the verbal harassment that i told you about?

**kogayne:** wait, does this stem from THAT?

**lanceylance:** ,,, yeah, he didn’t act on it till now

**lanceylance:** he wasn’t specific, just said that he wants to hurt you,,,, bc of the breakup…

**kogayne:** HE WAS USING ME TO MAKE NYMA JEALOUS WHY IS HE MAD AT ME

**lanceylance:** apparently you were making heart eyes at me since before rolo began “actively” using you

**lanceylance:** but he wasn’t specific in how he was gonna hurt you, or me, and it was dark in there, he could’ve had a weapon and i just

**lanceylance:** the balcony distracted me for a while but then everything hit me and i don’t want you to be hurt, that’s why i didn’t come over afterward, that’s why i’ve been trying to keep my distance, i’m sorry i’m sososru keith i shouldn’t be distancing myself from you bc it’s just hurting you worse and isndidksnwkfbcowp but ahswkkshdj everything is always my fault somehow no matter what when hunk got bullied when we were younger it was bc not only was he not white but he was friends with a latino bi boy and i was seencas weied and then our rivalry started bc i couldn’t handle being second best to someone cooler than me and i was so insecure andndjeofkifwokdjeiwosjfen this is all my fault i’m so sorry, this is wh no one ever wants to be associated with me i’m a disaster waitinnto happens

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** no none of this is your fault lance what the fuck

**kogayne:** are you still in spanish right now?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**kogayne:** meet me in the bathroom

**kogayne:** you need to breathe and i need to talk to you face-to-face

**lanceylance:** you have class right now

**kogayne:** and i’ve been texting you through most of it already

**kogayne:** i want to be with you right now

**kogayne:** because it sounds to me like, for one reason or another, nyma and rolo are trying to drive you to isolation

**lanceylance:** …

**kogayne:** i won’t push you

**lanceylance:** ...can we wait until next period, when i have thace?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** i love you

**lanceylance:** i love you too

**lanceylance:** ...and thanks for letting me know

**kogayne:** of course

**kogayne:** if something else happens today, please tell someone

**kogayne:** if not me, then someone like hunk or pidge, alright?

**lanceylance:** alright

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** so how do i get away with murder 

**takashmeoutside:** what is it now

**kogayne:** nyma and rolo

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** nyma put this in lance’s locker today 

**takashmeoutside:** what

**kogayne:** i nEVER said that shit

**takashmeoutside:** all you did was complain about how he’s insufferable and attractive and it wasn’t fair

**kogayne:** YEAH I KNOW

**kogayne:** so anyway how do i get away with murder

**takashmeoutside:** no,

**kogayne:** they’re fucking with his mind and i don’t like it

**kogayne:** why would they do this to him

_ (6) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** this is what lance told me

**takashmeoutside:** GET AN ADMINISTRATOR?

**kogayne:** i want you to think about how that’s gone for us in the past and reevaluate that advice

**kogayne:** why would they try and hurt him like this?? we’ve done nothing to them??? or at least he hasn’t??

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know, teenagers are mean

**takashmeoutside:** maybe they got bored

**kogayne:** he doesn’t!!! deserve this!!!!!!! i am GOING TO COMMIT MURDER

**takashmeoutside:** doesn’t nyma have a callback for the show

**kogayne:** ...they’re trying to scare lance out of the club

**kogayne:** bc i know for a fact rolo is doing crew again

**kogayne:** but why try and isolate him from us?? they know he internalizes his issues and distances himself

**takashmeoutside:** add insult to injury

**takashmeoutside:** you said lance said rolo wanted to hurt you too? and aren’t they also buddy-buddy with morvok??

**kogayne:** WHAT THE SHIT

**kogayne:** THIS IS SOME SUPERVILLAIN PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION BULLSHIT

**kogayne:** i want to fight

**takashmeoutside:** do not get into a fight 

**kogayne:** i know, i already told lance i wouldn’t fight his battle

**kogayne:** what do i do

**kogayne:** how do i get them to stop without overstepping lance’s boundaries

**kogayne:** bc he doesn’t want anyone to get involved

**takashmeoutside:** this is going too far. you have to go to an administrator or teacher. go to thace or ulaz.

**kogayne:** lance has thace next period, i was gonna talk to him in the bathroom.

**takashmeoutside:** who do you have third, ryner? she’ll accept a late pass for something like this. go to thace.

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance _ **

**kogayne:** lance, we have to take this to an administrator 

**kogayne:** i think we need to at least tell thace

**lanceylance:** going to an administrator is just going to make it worse, we’re going to look immature and like we can’t solve our own problems

**kogayne:** there’s nothing immature about asking for help in a situation where someone literally stalked you at a party and is now leaving notes in your locker that they know will set you off

**kogayne:** we have pidge literally  w i t n e s s i n g  nyma putting it in your locker

**lanceylance:** hhhhh

**kogayne:** im going to come to thace’s room next period and we’re going to talk to him

**kogayne:** if you don’t want to, i’ll talk to him

**kogayne:** i don’t want you getting hurt

**kogayne:** youve already been hurt enough

**lanceylance:** keith :(

**kogayne:** i love your smiles

**kogayne:** i hate it when you look unhappy

**kogayne:** and they’re making you unhappy

**lanceylance:** i wanna cry

**kogayne:** there’s the bell, i’ll see you soon

**kogayne:** you can cry on me

**lanceylance:** you!!!!!

**lanceylance:** ahsjdkdkaajwb i love you so much, i’m sorry i’m ruining your day with this

**kogayne:** DAY IS NOT RUINED

**kogayne:** and it’s not!! your fault!!!!!! 

**kogayne:** im coming and later i’m gonna kiss you senseless and if u don’t want kisses then we’re at least holding hands

**kogayne:** unless you don’t want to be touched in which case i’ll just watch your back

**kogayne:** ...is this too much

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** i’ll take those hands

**lanceylance:** ...and a couple kisses too 

**kogayne:** alright, i’m coming up on thace’s room

 

**_zethridofmyproblems > carrierpidgeon_ **

**zethridofmyproblems:** so what’s going on with kogane and mcclain

**carrierpidgeon:** oh

**carrierpidgeon:** hi zethrid

**carrierpidgeon:** uh, i’m not sure what they want me to say and what they want me to keep confidential

**carrierpidgeon:** uh yknow sensitive topic and all

**carrierpidgeon:** so let me just say it’s the usual: teenagers are assholes, they just happen to be catching the brunt of it

**zethridofmyproblems:** is there anyone who needs to be swiftly dealt with??? maybe with fists??

 

**_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HUNK SHAY I NEED STATUS UPDATES

**hunkerdunker:** what’s going on??

**carrierpidgeon:** JUST GIVE ME A STATUS UPDATE

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith is skipping out on period 3, and he and lance were talking to thace, until thace sent them both to guidance

**carrierpidgeon:** fuckfuckfuckfuck

**shayfromstatefarm:** he didn’t know what else to do, he had to teach and it’s a serious bullying/harassment case

**carrierpidgeon:** AJDJFWLAKDND do we know if anyone could’ve potentially leaked it to lotor’s squad

**carrierpidgeon:** specifically zethrid

**carrierpidgeon:** because

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**hunkerdunker:** how did she find out wtf

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT’S WHAT I’M ASKING

 

**_carrierpidgeon > zethridofmyproblems_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** um, no

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll let you know if that changes

**zethridofmyproblems:** okay then!! take care!!

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**mattata:** the gc is so dead, it’s usually exploding by third period

**carrierpidgeon:** matthew it is not a good day for this

**mattata:** i’ll just send some memes and be on my way out then

_ (22) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

 

**_hunkerdunker > kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** how’d it go in guidance

**hunkerdunker:** lance looks better than he did this morning

**kogayne:** we talked to his counselor, blaytz? he’s taking care of things

**kogayne:** we basically explained that if lance gets called back down later, he is under no circumstances to be left to talk to rolo, nyma, or paul one-on-one

**kogayne:** i hope u don’t mind, but i told blaytz that if lance gets called back down, you, me, shay, and pidge have been his supports, and we have evidence of harassment

**hunkerdunker:** no problem at all man

**hunkerdunker:** as long as he’s feeling better

**kogayne:** i don’t think it’s 100% genuine, keep an eye out

**kogayne:** i’ll see you guys at lunch

**hunkerdunker:** was the math easy today

**kogayne:** for you it probably will be

**hunkerdunker:** oh thank god the quarter closes soon and i can’t afford to have my grade dropping

 

**_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**hunkerdunker:** keith and lance went and talked to blaytz after thace sent them to guidance

**hunkerdunker:** slight chance one of us or all of us may get called down at some point

**shayfromstatefarm:** why

**hunkerdunker:** witness testimony and also support

**hunkerdunker:** we’re not letting lance have one-on-ones with anyone, someone /has/ to be there with him

**hunkerdunker:** i mean, it’ll probably be me or keith that gets called in, but still

**carrierpidgeon:** how desperate are we for extra supports at the moment

**shayfromstatefarm:** do not

**carrierpidgeon:** just double-checking that we’re all still in agreement

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** those are some spicy memes

**mattata:** thank you i grew them myself

**takashmeoutside:** half of them are from reddit you liar

**allurable:** and the others are from ifunny

**mattata:** stop exposing me like this

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god why do you still use ifunny

**mattata:** that 2012 aesthetic

**carrierpidgeon:** ew

**mattata:** memery was at its peak in 2012

**lanceylance:** i disagree, i think 2015 was a good year for memes

**kogayne:** ...that was left shark year, wasn’t it

**lanceylance:** I LOVE SHARKS

**lanceylance:** anyway uhhh sorry for disappearing yesterday???

**mattata:** lance, my buddy, my dude, 

**mattata:** mental health is important

**mattata:** take all the time off you need

**allurable:** how is everything right now?

**lanceylance:** rolo and nyma got called down between 4 and 5, i heard the announcement like,,, 5 minutes ago?

**allurable:** yes but how are /you/

**lanceylance:** doing better i guess

**lanceylance:** kind of afraid this whole trip to guidance will make everything worse

**allurable:** lance, we’re /here/ for you

**lanceylance:** i know...i just didn’t wanna be burdensome after a good party

**lanceylance:** and don’t tell me i’m not a burden bc i know you guys don’t think i’m a burden i’m just,,,, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** you are not a burden!!! we’ve been friends for how long??? if i thought you were a burden i would have dropped you a long time ago

**hunkerdunker:** sorry my text was already sending

 

**_lotoreal > kogayne_ **

**lotoreal:** trouble in paradise?

**kogayne:** i don’t want your bullshit right now, cut to the chase

**lotoreal:** zethrid has been in contact with the small one, i believe you call her pidge

**kogayne:** and?

**lotoreal:** her offer of aid still stands. allow myself, acxa, ezor, zethrid, and narti to take care of your problem for you.

**kogayne:** no.

**lotoreal:** playing it stubborn, i see

**kogayne:** i’m not /playing/, i’m looking out for my boyfriend

**kogayne:** you all? are not involved. so PLEASE (look, i’m even trying to be civil), back. off.

**lotoreal:** understandable.

**lotoreal:** i’ll still keep an eye out.

**lotoreal:** we are allies, after all.

**kogayne:** i told you not to make me regret my decision. you’re coming dangerously close.

**lotoreal:** i’m merely trying to be helpful.

**kogayne:** i said we don’t want help. if we’d have needed it, we’d have asked.

**kogayne:** we’re stressed enough over here. 

**kogayne:** and i think you’re intelligent, i’ll give you that. so i KNOW you won’t be attempting to contact lance.

**lotoreal:** of course not. not in his fragile state.

**lotoreal:** but be sure /you’re/ not being controlling.

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** lance and hunk were right, we should’ve said no.

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** wHAT is this guy’s game??

**allurable:** that’s sketchy. i’m keeping this as evidence….in case.

**kogayne:** am i being too controlling???

**takashmeoutside:** i want to say no,

**mattata:** i mean ultimately it is up to lance, and he /doesn’t/ want you fighting his battles, but showing him this could stress him out all over again,,,

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he’s reading over my shoulder, RIP

**carrierpidgeon:** hi lance we’re just trying to protect u pls don’t kill keith

 

**_lanceylance > lotoreal_ **

**lanceylance:** hi!

**lotoreal:** hello, lance

**lanceylance:** don’t accuse my boyfriend of being controlling!

**lanceylance:** or of anything really!!

**lotoreal:** i am merely trying to look out for your well-being.

**lotoreal:** what happened to our alliance?

**lanceylance:** you’ve given ZERO relevant information so far!! ALL you’ve done is try and step in where we haven’t asked for you!!! please stop!!!! BYE!!!!!

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i haven’t seen passive-aggressive lance in a while, holy shit

**lanceylance:** my anxiety is slowly giving way to rage

**lanceylance:** it’s bad enough i have you guys tripping over yourselves to help me, i don’t need other people involved, especially people who accuse my boyfriend of being abusive

**lanceylance:** especially people whose help had to be debated about in the first place

**allurable:** lance...perhaps take a nap when you get home today

**lanceylance:** i took a depression nap all day yesterday and wasted half of my morning not using anything i had pent-up, there’s no napping today

**kogayne:** take care of yourself, at least

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** so my attempts to aid the...furious five did not go over well

**dinezor:** furious five?

**dinezor:** that’s a ridiculous name

**sippinganartini:** what happened?

**lotoreal:** kogane was combative, as to be expected.

**acxalutelynot:** i told you

**lotoreal:** somehow, mcclain got wind of the conversation, because shortly afterward, i received these:

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lotoreal_ **

**acxalutelynot:** i told you not to ask, but no one ever listens 

**zethridofmyproblems:** talking to pidge went down a little better, she was more polite

**lotoreal:** that...is surprising.

**acxalutelynot:** actually, not really.

**lotoreal:** OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT

**acxalutelynot:** NOOOOOBODY LISTENS TO ACXA

**dinezor:** um?

**acxalutelynot:** except you

**sippinganartini:** ?????

**acxalutelynot:** okay i should say this before zethrid jumps in: LOTOR NEVER LISTENS TO ACXA

**lotoreal:** :|

**acxalutelynot:** i told you not to even make the alliance, just aid them silently and from afar

**dinezor:** ahhh, the same way you pined after me :)

**acxalutelynot:** anyway, now what?

**acxalutelynot:** what brilliant course of action does the great lotor galra have now that he’s pissed off klance, and likely their entire group chat?

**lotoreal:** aid silently and from afar

**acxalutelynot:** mhm, that’s what i thought

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** where are you?

**lanceylance:** having another meeting with blaytz, you can just go home, i can walk

**kogayne:** don’t be ridiculous

**kogayne:** i’ll be waiting in the parking lot, idc if i end up being here for four hours

**lanceylance:** ajsdjfswlan why are you like this

**kogayne:** i want you to look at your hand

**kogayne:** and remember friday night

**kogayne:** that’s why

**lanceylance:** ur gonna make me cry wtf

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** i love u, starboy

**lanceylance:** and i, you, sir mullet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone clamoring for klangst,,,,, i hope it wasn't "lance and keith potentially breaking up" klangst bc i'M NEVER GOING THAT WAY, THESE HOES ARE LOYAL AND ARE SO FAR GONE FOR EACH OTHER (........unless i change my mind a month from now or something,,, probably not but)
> 
> anyway they love each other so much where do i get a klance relationship
> 
> okay so now explanations/justifications  
> 1\. narti has like, devices to help her and stuff, that's why she can text in the gc  
> 2\. i know rolo and nyma have this like, mini redemption arc thing in s4, but i had them set as antagonists in this fic in my head since the beginning, so Oh Well  
> 3\. i still don't know whether i want lotor's squad to be "good" or "bad" here lmfao i'm gonna wait and see what happens in canon (i have a betrayal theory but i feel like lotor is gonna go the zuko arc)  
> 4\. and so finally like,,,, what the hell happened here?????? what spawned this chapter??? one of my ex-friends tried to tell one of my friends that i hate two of the girls in our friend group that i'm closest to, it was fucking wild, there's been a conflict since like, september that she won't frick-frackin let go of........so i took out my frustrations on lance, sorry blue boy
> 
> next chapter should be more upbeat bc HALLOWEEN (ft. lance busting out christmas tunes at 12:00 AM november 1st, while i start shrieking bc NANOWRIMO BEGINS IN LIKE 26 HOURS AND I'M NOT READY)
> 
> k bye thanks for reading this hot mess


	39. THIS IS HALLOWEEN, /THIS IS HALLOWEEN/

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a disappointing lack of nightmare before christmas in this chapter, it's mostly just more klance ridiculousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NANOWRIMO BEGAN 23 MINUTES AGO SOS
> 
> also a lot of you misinterpreted my a/n at the end of the last chapter  
> i took things out on lance but i was more in keith's situation,,,, sort of,,,,,,,, ISH
> 
> ANYWAY HALLOWEEN

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** for two people literally promised to each other, we sure think about breaking up a lot

 **kogayne:** this is not a text i want to see at 3 AM

 **kogayne:** you okay??

 **lanceylance:** let’s just say i stopped myself from doing something really dumb

 **lanceylance:** like, we’ve never really said outright,

 **lanceylance:** “i want to break up because i feel as though i’m a burden on your life and you’d be better off without me”

 **lanceylance:** actually a couple times we came pretty close

 **lanceylance:** but we’ve had this same stupid discussion before, one of us is feeling like shit about being a problem and the other one of us is like nuuuuuuuuuu baaaaabe it’s not ur faaaaaaaauuuuuult i’ll love u foreeeeeeeeeverrrrrrrr

 **lanceylance:** and i was about to rehash that argument

 **kogayne:** lance :(

 **lanceylance:** but i started scrolling back through our texts, and i got to the text /i/ sent to /you/ about love being abt hanging on and fighting thru problems together and??????

 **lanceylance:** i may

 **lanceylance:** have been crying for the past hour

 **lanceylance:** like it took me this long to calm down

 **kogayne:** why didn’t you text me sooner??? i would’ve come over

 **lanceylance:** wasn’t in the right state of mind to be texting, very emotional very volatile

 **kogayne:** i could still come over now

 **lanceylance:** ...do you really want to

 **kogayne:** yes, i do, i hate seeing you in distress, let me be there

 **lanceylance:** okay but fair warning i’m not sure i’m gonna be able to sleep

 **kogayne:** then we don’t need to sleep

 **kogayne:** we can still get into the treehouse, right?

 **lanceylance:** ...yeah :)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _renamed_ **_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ ** _to_ **_SPOOKY SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** HAPPY HALLOWEEN BITCHES

 **kogayne:** a day almost as scary as ap exam day

 **takashmeoutside:** which ap exam

 **kogayne:** yes

 **carrierpidgeon:** a day almost as scary as when klance became a thing

 **lanceylance:** um?? that was the Best day

 **lanceylance:** don’t talk to me or my husband ever again

 **kogayne:** ;)

 **hunkerdunker:** why are you two like this

 **lanceylance:** PIDGE STARTED IT

 **shayfromstatefarm:** pidge why

 **carrierpidgeon:** i have to gently bully them to show my affection

 **lanceylance:** G R E M L I N

 **carrierpidgeon:** ;)

 **kogayne:** don’t wink at him that’s my job

 **lanceylance:** ;))))

 **mattata:** are you winking at keith or pidge

 **lanceylance:** yes

 **kogayne:** :O BETRAYED BY MY OWN BOYFRIEND

 **lanceylance:** love u babe~

 **kogayne:** you play a dangerous game, mcclain

 **lanceylance:** oooooooooooooooh i’m soooo scared

 **allurable:** i can feel the sexual tension all the way from here

 **allurable:** shouldn’t you two be getting ready for school

 **takashmeoutside:** they’re at lance’s house, i have a feeling they’re making out

 **hunkerdunker:** y’know, the usual

 **shayfromstatefarm:** [long sigh] of course they are

 **shayfromstatefarm:** in other news, what are everyone’s plans for tonight?

 **hunkerdunker:** binging every scary movie i can find and making candy apples

 **hunkerdunker:** u want in?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** sIGN ME UP

 **carrierpidgeon:** i need an excuse to go trick-or-treating and get free candy from strangers, i hear people are handing out expensive drugs to children

 **mattata:** i just choked on my muffin

 **lanceylance:** !!!! i have to take my niece and nephew!!! pidge, cOME WITH US!!!!!

 **carrierpidgeon:** OH WORM?

 **carrierpidgeon:** I TAKE BACK EVERY BAD THING I’VE SAID ABOUT YOU TODAY?

 **kogayne:** am i still invited

 **lanceylance:** no you have to stay home and watch horror movies by yourself

 **kogayne:** :(

 **lanceylance:** i’m kIDDING of course you’re coming  <3

 **carrierpidgeon:** CRYPTKIDS AND THE MEME TEAM??? TOGETHER?????

 **mattata:** I THOUGHT /WE/ WERE THE MEME TEAM

 **carrierpidgeon:** no we’re the geek squad

 **carrierpidgeon:** besides it’s not like you’re coming with us

 **mattata:** that’s right, i am not, i have a boyfriend and girlfriend to,,,, ~entertain~

 **lanceylance:** boi bye

 **kogayne:** yet another disturbing mental image of my cousin i didn’t need

 **takashmeoutside:** mmmm how does it feel, keith

 **kogayne:** pLEASE DO NOT WORD IT LIKE THAT

 **kogayne:** NOT IN THIS SITUATION

 **lanceylance:** i am the only one allowed to make him feel things in this situation

 **kogayne:** AJSJDENVJROWOAD

 **carrierpidgeon:** [long-suffering asexual sigh]

 **shayfromstatefarm:** [long-suffering sigh of human decency]

 **hunkerdunker:** so does anyone want me save them some of my candy apples

 **lanceylance:** ME

 **lanceylance:** PLEASE

 **kogayne:** ^^^

 **hunkerdunker:** heathens don’t get my candy apples

 **allurable:** save one for me pls

 **takashmeoutside:** me too

 **hunkerdunker:** allura yes, shiro no

 **hunkerdunker:** did you not pay attention to my heathens comment

 **lanceylance:** you just alienated half the group chat

 **kogayne:** aLIENS, YOU SAY

 **carrierpidgeon:** i hope the aliens come and abduct me so i don’t have to see this group chat anymore

 **lanceylance:** i can remove you

 **carrierpidgeon:** umm no excuse me?

 **mattata:** you just asked to not see the group chat anymore

 **carrierpidgeon:** yeah, i didn’t ask to be REMOVED

 **takashmeoutside:** can all of you like, go to class

 

**_SPOOKY SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** GUYS I JUST SAW THE SCARIEST THING KNOWN TO MAN

 **carrierpidgeon:** A FAILED MATH TEST

 **lanceylance:** ...yes actually, FUCK CALCULUS

 **kogayne:** lance we sTUDIED for that one

 **lanceylance:** studying doesn’t mean it stuck to my brain

 **lanceylance:** ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT PHYSICS TEST, BC SOMEHOW I MANAGED TO DO ALL THE MATH RIGHT BUT FUCK UP ON THE WRITTENS

 **mattata:** lance? doing correct math?

 **hunkerdunker:** [a moment of silence for lance, a shell of his former self]

 **lanceylance:** HEY

 **lanceylance:** i know my major for college requires math but like

 **lanceylance:** I USUALLY DON’T DO THIS WELL WITH MATH

 **lanceylance:** ...except calc fuck calc

 **allurable:** if you keep up that attitude, it won’t get any better

 **allurable:** you’re resisting the chance to learn

 **lanceylance:** HHHHHHH SHUT UP

 **allurable:** boi try again

 **lanceylance:** sorry

 **lanceylance:** i hate it when you’re right

 **allurable:** you’d think you’d be used to it by now

 **shayfromstatefarm:** allura altea, better than all of us since forever

 **mattata:** a Woman straight from the womb

 **allurable:** that sounds,,,, slightly skeezy

 **mattata:** my apologies

 **mattata:** a Wonder straight from the womb

 **allurable:** ahhh that’s better :)

 **kogayne:** how come you two are like, calm and stuff

 **kogayne:** and then when it comes to shiro,,,

 **allurable:** giving you a taste of your own medicine, this is what it’s like waking up to texts from you and lance

 **takashmeoutside:** or videos of you two at lunch

 **kogayne:** pidge how fucking often do you send videos of us

 **lanceylance:** she probably does it in that group chat we’re not in

 **carrierpidgeon:** :O WHY ARE WE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMING IT WAS ME

 **lanceylance:** shay is a Good and hunk is too loyal

 **kogayne:** and you’ve done it before in /this/ group chat  >:\

 **carrierpidgeon:** do not pull out that semi-angry face at me, mister

 **lanceylance:** OWN UP PIDGEOTTO

 **carrierpidgeon:** fine i do send videos in the other group chat

 **kogayne:** MHM THAT’S WHAT WE THOUGHT

 **lanceylance:** wHY THO

 **carrierpidgeon:** e v i d e n c e

 **lanceylance:** OF WHAT

 **carrierpidgeon:** in case

 **lanceylance:** IN CASE OF WHAT

 **carrierpidgeon:** t h i n g s

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey thace is asking if you’re okay, what should i tell him

 **lanceylance:** ???? i’m fine??? the man saw me last period

 **kogayne:** he didn’t wanna bother you last period and thought maybe you were covering again

 **lanceylance:** oh

 **lanceylance:** wait do you guys talk about me

 **kogayne:** ...sometimes

 **lanceylance:** and it’s not like, weird?

 **kogayne:** i’m actually like 99% sure we’re not-so-distantly related, like i’m pretty sure he goes to the famiy reunions i would go to if my dad wasn’t dead and my mom didn’t run out

 **lanceylance:** ...keith what the fuck are /you/ okay

 **kogayne:** yeah, just realizing that i have no idea who my relatives are on my mom’s side

 **kogayne:** ...yeah anyway please change the subject

 **lanceylance:** tell thace yes, i’m fine,

 **lanceylance:** and MMMMMM are you coming over /right/ after school so we can do makeup and stuff

 **kogayne:** makeup? we’re going out in costume tonight?

 **lanceylance:** DUH??? IT’S HALLOWEEN???

 **kogayne:** then yeah sure, are you gonna put more glitter on my face

 **lanceylance:** :D ARE YOU EXCITED?

 **kogayne:** ...maybe…

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :D

 **kogayne:** expose me to the group chat and i will kill you

 **lanceylance:** :D :D :D :D :D

 **lanceylance:** u are a soft boi

 **lanceylance:** i’ve always known it

 **lanceylance:** i will take this to my grave if i have to

 **lanceylance:** but u

 **lanceylance:** are SOFT

 **kogayne:** u make me soft

 **lanceylance:** i just screamed

 

**_SPOOKY SQUAD_ **

**hunkerdunker:** tell me why lance just screamed

 **shayfromstatefarm:** any moment now ryner’s gonna take his phone and make him read his texts out loud

 **kogayne:** NO

 **takashmeoutside:** ...i don’t wanna know

 

**_SPOOKY SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** so a shadowhunter, a warlock, and a robot take a mermaid and a pirate trick-or-treating

 _(1) photo from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**allurable:** this is unbearably cute

 **takashmeoutside:** holy fuck

 **mattata:** are they,,,, clinging onto keith?

 **lanceylance:** my whole family has basically adopted keith

 **lanceylance:** he can’t ever break up with me now

 **lanceylance:** once you’re in the mcclan, you can’t escape

 **allurable:** ...mcclan?

 **lanceylance:** easier than saying mcclain clan

 **kogayne:** WHY DO LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE A THING FOR ME

 **lanceylance:** ;)

 **kogayne:** KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

 **lanceylance:** you have said nothing of my fingers and phone

 **kogayne:** LANCE I WILL FIGHT YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF CLARA AND JAVIER

 **lanceylance:** yeah but then you get emely involved and emely can kick your ass

 **kogayne:** ………….yeah i really don’t wanna fight your sister

 **lanceylance:** if her kids die on our watch she’ll kill us

 **lanceylance:** all of us

 **lanceylance:** even pidge

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i thought you were good with kids, how hard can keeping the two of them in control be

 **lanceylance:** it’s halloween, you don’t know these demon children on halloween

 **lanceylance:** we gotta go

 

**_SPOOKY SQUAD_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s official, lance has dethroned matt when it comes to candy route extraordinaire, i’ve never gotten a bigger haul in my LIFE

 **mattata:** MCSCUSE ME BITCH

 **kogayne:** her arm started hurting, she tried to support the weight with her broken one like an IDIOT

 **mattata:** KATIE HOLT

 **carrierpidgeon:** SO MUCH CANDY

 **kogayne:** i had to carry her bag and a sleeping pirate home

 **lanceylance:** when keith and i adopt our kids he’s gonna be such a good dad i can’t wait

 **lanceylance:** babe why did you just start choking

 **hunkerdunker:** you two get nO APPLES

 **kogayne:** LANCE YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT STUFF IN THE GROUP CHAT

 **lanceylance:** look at how good he looks carrying a child

 _(4) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** WHEN DID YOU TAKE THOSE

 **lanceylance:** ummm isn’t it obvious? when we were walking home

 **lanceylance:** clara ships us hardcore by the way

 **lanceylance:** she asked if we were married

 **kogayne:** SJFGBTHREYEWRETHRERSHJY

 **takashmeoutside:** i just started cackling omfg

 **allurable:** THAT’S ADORABLE

 **mattata:** the most important part was his response, what did you /say/

 **lanceylance:** i said not yet, we’re working on it

 **kogayne:** JDSGHKRTEKWEB WHY DIDN’T I HEAR THAT CONVERSATION

 **lanceylance:** you were busy

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** you were busy singing to javier

 **lanceylance:** dude i’m melting i can’t wait until we’re husbands

 **kogayne:** i, 

**lanceylance:** you’re so good with kids like wtf, how did i land you

 **lanceylance:** you’re so???? perfect??????????

 **kogayne:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMM LANCE YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, I CAN’T HANDLE THIS

 **lanceylance:** oh really~?

 **lanceylance:** we’re gonna get married and have a nice wedding and it can either be a massive party or it can just be small and peaceful but either way we’re gonna cry during our vows

 **lanceylance:** and then we’ll cry again in our first dance as husbands

 **lanceylance:** and then we’re gonna shove cake in each other’s faces and get really into it and make a hot mess of our suits but it’ll be fine

 **lanceylance:** the whole fam will be there with us and at the end of it all we’ll go on our honeymoon together and i can tell you privately just how much you mean to me

 **lanceylance:** we’ll probably live in an apartment the first couple years bc this economy is a hellhole but we’re never gonna stop working for a cute little house, it doesn’t have to be big by any means, and once we’re financially stable enough we’re gonna go adopt some kids, at least two, a boy and a girl

 **lanceylance:** and we’re gonna love the shit out of them and you’re gonna sing to them every night and i’ll take them to school and we’re gonna raise them right and raise them so that they are the most loved children on the planet

 **lanceylance:** and we’ll grow old together and have grandkids and i’ll never regret a second of it

 **kogayne:** i’m crying you asshole

 **lanceylance:** yeah i know, your glitter is running

 

**_SPOOKY SQUAD_ **

**hunkerdunker:** ....so the night is still young, it’s only like 8

 **hunkerdunker:** do the rest of you wanna join me and shay and watch shitty horror movies the rest of the night

 **carrierpidgeon:** LANCE AND KEITH STOP SUCKING FACE, SOMEONE IS DRIVING US TO HUNK’S

 **allurable:** no thank you, hunk

 **allurable:** matt, shiro, and i will have to politely decline

 **takashmeoutside:** we’re busy

 **mattata:** ;)

 **hunkerdunker:** i am dead inside

 **hunkerdunker:** so that’s a yes from pidge and klance, and a no from shalluratt

 **shayfromstatefarm:** more candy apples for us

 **lanceylance:** these horror movies won’t be the only things making keith scream

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m about to uninvite you

 **lanceylance:** MOUTH IS SHUTTING WE’RE ON OUR WAY

 

**_SPOOKY SQUAD_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _renamed_ **_SPOOKY SQUAD_ ** _to_ **_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

_(1) audio file from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** IT IS 12 AM ON NOVEMBER FIRST YOU ABSOLUTE HEATHEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> clara and javier are names i made up for lance's niece and nephew, emely is the name i made up for his sister
> 
> also i like just remembered that pidge's arm is still broken from the cryptid hunt chapter
> 
> also i made a christmas playlist on spotify, follow me @ nerdyspaceace
> 
> i'm trying to finish chapter 17 of stars go down tonight, it's been 2 weeks, this is unacceptable


	40. nuggets, callbacks, and klance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> callbacks are today; it's chicken nugget day _and lance is a heathen when it comes to dipping sauce_ ; klance is still so in love what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [taps mic] so uhhh y'all sick of lance and keith yet, bc i'm not

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** did you just remember it’s callback day

**lanceylance:** IT’S CALLBACK DAY

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** good morning to you too lance

**lanceylance:** LOTOR AND EZOR AND NYMA ARE ALL GONNA BE AT CALLBACKS

**hunkerdunker:** yeah, and so are you me and shay

**kogayne:** i can miss the beginning of gsa to be there

**lanceylance:** NO, you, sir, have a meeting of the gays to run 

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMM I’VE ACCEPTED THEY’RE GOING TO BE THERE, WE JUST CHOSE A BAD TIME TO PISS THEM OFF

**shayfromstatefarm:** none of them are going to try anything, lance, i promise

**shayfromstatefarm:** and we have your back if i’m wrong and they /do/

**lanceylance:** maybe i can just intimidate the crap out of them

**hunkerdunker:** shhhh buddy just focus on your callback, you wanna land this role, don’t you?

**lanceylance:** YES, it’s my senior year i need a good role i have not been in this hell club since i was a freshman for nothing

**lanceylance:** seriously i need this role

**kogayne:** you’ll get the lead guy, i have faith in you

**lanceylance:** :)  <3

**carrierpidgeon:** okay in the meantime can we talk about how much candy i have, do you know how many kids i can get money out of at school

**mattata:** what

**carrierpidgeon:** why sit on all this candy when i can rip kids off and make a profit

**carrierpidgeon:** one dollar for a twix bar

**carrierpidgeon:** five dollars for a bag of like six or seven little candies

**hunkerdunker:** you are everything that’s wrong with the world

**carrierpidgeon:** if i’m gonna have capitalism forced on me then i’m going to play to win

**mattata:** you are a gremlin

**carrierpidgeon:** water is wet

**lanceylance:** earth is in space

**kogayne:** fire is hot

**mattata:** >:|

**carrierpidgeon:** you laugh now, one of these days i’m gonna give president tangerine a run for his money

**takashmeoutside:** who raised you to be this way, i know it wasn’t matt

**mattata:** I RAISED HER TO BE NICE

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah but your memelord phase in 2012 really struck me, all the assholishness rubbed off

**allurable:** damn

**mattata:** :O

**lanceylance:** DRAMA ALERT, I’M YOUR HOST KILLERRRRRR KEEMSTARRRRR

**kogayne:** i will pay you to never say that again

**lanceylance:** why, am i being ~embarrassing~

**kogayne:** more than usual

**lanceylance:** :O RUDE

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** CAN YOU ALL GO TO CLASS, WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS EVERY DAY

**lanceylance:** team dad

**takashmeoutside:** i’m giving you all up for adoption, i can’t do this anymore

**allurable:** you can’t give away our kids wtf THEY’RE MINE TOO

**mattata:** AND MINE

**carrierpidgeon:** and how does that work

**mattata:** you’re too young for that

**carrierpidgeon:** your lack of biological understanding astounds me

**mattata:** it’s called a JOKE gremlin

**carrierpidgeon:** so that thing mom made when she gave birth to you

**mattata:** yeah, it was such a good joke that she wanted an encore, so she made you

**lanceylance:** HOT DAMN THAT COMEBACK

**shayfromstatefarm:** everyone is mean in the mornings, everyone chill

**lanceylance:** I CANNOT CHILL

**hunkerdunker:** just the other day you were insisting that you were “super chill”

**lanceylance:** that was before i remembered i have callbacks with three people i don’t like

**hunkerdunker:** and you realize that if you get a role, and they get roles, you’ll have to deal with them all during november and the first half of december

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**kogayne:** hey, at least i’ll be at rehearsals too

**carrierpidgeon:** and so will i

**shayfromstatefarm:** and if i don’t get a role i was gonna do crew so me too

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^

**lanceylance:** i love,,, my friends so much

**lanceylance:** except keith

**kogayne:** boi

**lanceylance:** he’s not my friend and i don’t love him

**kogayne:** ;P

**lanceylance:** ;)

**shayfromstatefarm:** so if you don’t “love” him, then,,, ???????????

**lanceylance:** i would die for him, i would rob all the stars in the sky just to see him smile, my feelings go beyond love, idk if there’s even a word for it

**kogayne:** STHTYJERASSDDGFFJ

**carrierpidgeon:** DAAAAAAAAAD THEY’RE BEING MUSHY BEFORE FIRST PERIOD MAKE THEM STOP

**takashmeoutside:** lance keith stfu

**kogayne:** YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD

**lanceylance:** daddyyyyy dad is being mean :(

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS GROUP CHAT IS CANCELLED

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_HOLIDAY HOES_ ** _ to  _ **_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** this group chat name did not get the glory it deserved

**lanceylance:** also, it’s chicken nugget day in the cafeteria

**hunkerdunker:** AND mozzerella sticks

**lanceylance:** maybe today won’t be completely awful

**kogayne:** you’re only in thace’s class, how has today already been awful?

**lanceylance:** you mean aside from paul morvok being back in class??

**kogayne:** I FORGOT HIS OSS ENDED TODAY

**lanceylance:** MMM YEP ME TOO, HE LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS ME DEAD, BUT OTHERWISE HE HASN’T DONE ANYTHING

**shayfromstatefarm:** yet

**lanceylance:** yeah yet

**lanceylance:** but umm also i just remembered?? this mythology project is due monday???? 

**kogayne:** YOU GUYS HAVE HAD WEEKS TO DO IT

**lanceylance:** yeah well now we’re behind, we have to film it

**lanceylance:** we’re doing a video

**lanceylance:** it’s me, hunk, shay, plax, and florona

**kogayne:** how did plax and flor and up in your group?

**lanceylance:** they needed a group, so we took them in, bc the other alternative was paul

**kogayne:** yikes

**hunkerdunker:** we can’t film at my house or shay’s, and plax and flor’s are out since none of us have ever been there, except lance

**lanceylance:** ugh don’t remind me, plax says nothing is weird but i still feel weird sometimes

**lanceylance:** anyway we’re filming at my house

**lanceylance:** so idk, keith, if you wanna like, come and hang out while we film, maybe help with lines and filming

**kogayne:** what day

**lanceylance:** thursday?

**kogayne:** tomorrow thursday?

**lanceylance:** ...yes

**kogayne:** i’ll have to see

**kogayne:** i should be good but i told ryner i’d help tutor someone in my math class

**carrierpidgeon:** keith??? on a date with someone who isn’t lance???

**kogayne:** excuse me, i’m loyal

**lanceylance:** keith and i would never cheat on each other

**lanceylance:** besides if you can’t trust your partner to be alone w someone else and not cheat on you then you need to find a new partner

**kogayne:** also the person i’m tutoring is a girl so i mean,,,, i wouldn’t be interested either way

**allurable:** deep advice,,, and it’s coming from two teenage boys

**allurable:** i wish matt and shiro had been that wise in high school, all they did was make inappropriate jokes and piss off all the teachers

**lanceylance:** i mean, we do that too, we’re just deep on top of that

**carrierpidgeon:** deep as a puddle, all of your philosophy is from the internet

**carrierpidgeon:** half of your deep quotes are just viral tweets

**lanceylance:** 1\. stop expOSING ME

**lanceylance:** 2\. sentiment still stands

**kogayne:** controlling who your partner can and can’t hang out with is a sign you might be in an abusive relationship and gUESS WHAT WE DON’T HAVE

**mattata:** one of you needs to go into marriage counseling

**mattata:** or both of you

**mattata:** run the same office

**mattata:** use your perfect happy marriage as an example of how you should be

**kogayne:** there’s no one definition of a perfect relationship, everyone is different 

**lanceylance:** me and keith just happened to be made for each other so our relationship is more perfect than others

**kogayne:** anyway was anything else bothering you today

**lanceylance:** calc makes me feel stupid and that’s where i have to go next period

**lanceylance:** ,,,, that’s it really, aside from not seeing your cute face till lunch

**carrierpidgeon:** SO CHICKEN NUGGETS AMIRIGHT

**shayfromstatefarm:** a Gift

**hunkerdunker:** the true question is: what is the superior dipping sauce

**carrierpidgeon:** honey mustard

**hunkerdunker:** THANK YOU

**lanceylance:** you’re wrong??? zesty sauce is the best??

**allurable:** sweet and sour sauce called to tell you you’re wrong

**takashmeoutside:** ^^^^

**kogayne:** what is wrong with you all, barbecue is the way to go??????

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

**mattata:** uh no, ranch is where it’s at

**allurable:** wow none of us prefer ketchup

**kogayne:** i wanna know where lance gets off with zesty sauce on NUGGETS

**lanceylance:** MY NUGGET LIFE IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN KNIFE BOY

**kogayne:** IF WE’RE GETTING MARRIED AND I’M BUYING GROCERIES AND LIVING WITH YOU THEN YOUR NUGGET LIFE /IS/ MY CONCERN

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ZESTY SAUCE FOR NUGGETS

**lanceylance:** YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ABOUT MY NUGGET HABITS WHEN YOU HAVE A MULLET

**kogayne:** HAIR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH NUGGETS

**kogayne:** AND YOU  L O V E  MY HAIR

**kogayne:** WHAT IF I CHOPPED IT OFF THEN

**lanceylance:** if u chop that mullet i will take those scissors and stab you with them

**allurable:** LANCE WTF

**kogayne:** smh i’m not using scissors i’ll use a knife

**lanceylance:** then i will stab u with ur knife and then stab myself

**shayfromstatefarm:** ???? what did we just??? witness???????

**hunkerdunker:** i think this is normal?

**mattata:** HOW IS THREATENING TO STAB EACH OTHER NORMAL

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** so now that they’re distracted

**kogayne:** you said math makes you feel dumb???

**lanceylance:** yes, and i know you’re gonna go on your whole “your ability to do math/whatever doesn’t define your intelligence” rant thing so let me stop you before you do

**lanceylance:** i just,,, don’t like that class

**lanceylance:** more than half the class understands the material right away and i’m still struggling but i don’t have time to speak up before we move on, and when ryner does take questions she barely answers them or says she doesn’t have time to explain

**kogayne:** have you talked to ryner?

**lanceylance:** yES and she’s just like “pay better attention!! start staying after!!” but i have CLUBS AFTER SCHOOL and then the days i do stay after she’s just like “what do you mean you don’t get this” and doesn’t know how to help me

**kogayne:** gotta love the american educational system

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** do you wanna start having more study sessions?? do i need to change up my tactics for helping you??

**lanceylance:** yes on study sessions, and idk!!! i know you’re trying your hardest it’s just not sticking!!! but idk what would make it stick!!!

**lanceylance:** the most uSELESS THINGS like video game tactics and action movie plots stick in my head but i cannot, for the life of me, grasp differentiation

**lanceylance:** and then the whole d2 dx2 whatever???? GONE

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** i’m gonna think of some way to make this stick,,,

**kogayne:** there’s the bell, try as best you can in class, take notes of what you do and don’t understand, and show them to me later

**kogayne:** i’ll see you at lunch  <3

**lanceylance:** thanks babe  <3

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**allurable:** lance, hunk, shay, break a leg at callbacks!!

**kogayne:** and if anyone bothers you then feel free to actually break their leg!!!

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH NO

**kogayne:** KEITH YES

**mattata:** KEITH YES

**takashmeoutside:** LANCE CORRAL YOUR BOYFRIEND

**lanceylance:** ...yeahsorrygottagotocallbacksbyeeeeee

**allurable:** corral your own boyfriend first shiro

**takashmeoutside:** i gave up on that a long time ago

**mattata:** i am an enigma, beautiful and mysterious, wild and untamable

**carrierpidgeon:** #spot the manic pixie dream girl

**shayfromstatefarm:** thanks allura!! hunk and i will make sure the Boys don’t get into trouble

**shayfromstatefarm:** but i am their friend, not a babysitter

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...unless i can get monetary compensation for this

**mattata:** shiro, how desperate are you to keep them out of trouble

**takashmeoutside:** HHHHHH

**hunkerdunker:** yeeeeaaaah i’m with shay on this, i’d do it for free, but like,,,, it’s lance and keith, they’re a special case

**kogayne:** we can still read the group chat, hi, hello, i have a knife collection

**takashmeoutside:** what is with you and lance and stabbing things today

**mattata:** YEAH WHAT WAS UP WITH YOU TWO THREATENING TO STAB EACH OTHER

**takashmeoutside:** are you in some passive-aggressive fight we’re too dense to see orrr

**kogayne:** wtf??? no!!

**lanceylance:** have u met me and keith, 

**kogayne:** seriously we were joking

**lanceylance:** i love my boyfriend and if i were with him right now i’d send a text of me obnoxiously hugging him from behind 

**kogayne:** here i have one in my phone somewhere

**kogayne:** pffft “one” i have so many

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** if we were really fighting then trust me you’d know

**lanceylance:** but don’t worry keith and i like to talk about our problems instead of letting them fester,,,, mostly,,,,,,

**kogayne:** hey don’t put yourself down i understand you and how you operate, you can’t help it sometimes

**carrierpidgeon:** SO GET OUT THERE AND BREAK SOME LEGS RIGHT, MAYBE NYMA’S? AND VIDEOTAPE IT?

**takashmeoutside:** DO NOT BREAK ANYONE’S LEGS OTHER THAN YOUR OWN METAPHORICAL ONES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

**kogayne:** break their legs ignore shiro

**takashmeoutside:** you toe a thin line, kogane

**kogayne:** i don’t toe that line i play jump rope with it, get on my level, shirogane

**lanceylance:** oh sHIT I AM BEING CALLED ON DECK I HAVE TO GO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** so uh, you looked spooked when you got to gsa, what happened?

**lanceylance:** i,,, have a really good feeling about /my/ casting

**lanceylance:** but i found out who i might have to be kissing on stage

**kogayne:** oh no

**lanceylance:** nyma, plax, or ezor

**lanceylance:** like, of fucking course shay didn’t get a callback for one of the leads

**kogayne:** well i mean ezor is a raging lesbian, so like,,,, i wouldn’t be worried if she lands the role?

**lanceylance:** yeah but that leaves both of my exes, one of whom has been harassing me for a couple weeks

**lanceylance:** like?? plax, i guess i’d be okay with?? i mean obviously that thing in freshman year didn’t last and we ended on good terms but like??? THAT’S STILL SO WEIRD TO ME

**lanceylance:** and then nyma,,, if it’s fucking nyma,,

**kogayne:** if you get the role and have to kiss one of them, are you gonna drop the show?

**lanceylance:** oh fuck no, this is my senior year

**lanceylance:** i’m the ONLY senior who’s been in *drama* since freshman year

**lanceylance:** like yeah hunk and shay have been involved with crew since freshman year and switched over but that was *crew*

**lanceylance:** I HAVE SWEATED AND BLED AND CRIED ON THIS STAGE IN PREPARATION FOR THIS YEAR, I WILL NOT LET THESE ASSHOLES COMPLETELY RUIN IT

**kogayne:** keep in mind, i’ll be in the wings when u need a real kiss ;)

**lanceylance:** so,, ur definitely cool with it? me kissing one of them?? (i’m mostly talking abt plax here let’s be real)

**lanceylance:** i mean i’m just double-checking

**kogayne:** yeah, i’m fine with it

**kogayne:** we just told the group chat: we love each other and trust each other not to cheat. i’m secure in our relationship. ....when i’m not having a mental breakdown or something

**lanceylance:** yeah same, i just wanted to check anyway

**lanceylance:** and like, if for some reason it makes u uncomf, lemme know okay??

**kogayne:** you got it

**kogayne:** ...ugh why did i not go to your house after school, shiro isn’t home and i’m lonely

**lanceylance:** idk man, that was your call

**lanceylance:** i’m watching clara and javier again today if u wanna come over tho

**lanceylance:** they came home from school and crashed, they’re so ready for teenage life

**kogayne:** ur parents and emely won’t mind??

**lanceylance:** i think they like u better than me tbh

**lanceylance:** they’ve already pretty much adopted u, ur one of us now

**kogayne:** ,,,, that means a lot to me, actually

**kogayne:** shiro’s...really the only one i have

**kogayne:** i’ve always envied big families like yours

**lanceylance:** in a few years, you’ll be part of it *officially*

**lanceylance:** but everyone over here already considers you a mcclain

**kogayne:** wh a t

**lanceylance:** and my mom,,,,,, is very much prepared to call u her son in law

**lanceylance:** from all i’ve said about you and from what she’s seen, she says i “picked a good one, hold onto him”

**kogayne:** you and your mom talk about me?

**lanceylance:** well yeah

**lanceylance:** my mom likes to know what’s up with us, but she doesn’t *pry*

**lanceylance:** she’s always been really accepting, i actually came out to her before anyone else bc i knew i could trust her

**lanceylance:** she’s very easy to talk to, and i just??? talk about you a lot?????

**kogayne:** i’ mctiyn

**lanceylance:** after the shitshow with nyma, she was so pleased when i came home and told her that i finally asked you out

**lanceylance:** and you said yes

**lanceylance:** she’s always been fond of you basically

**lanceylance:** so uh, in short...yeah, come on over

**kogayne:** HOW AM ISUPOSED TO DIRVE WITH  ETARS IN MYEYAES

**lanceylance:** i mean, i’d pick you up, but i can’t leave the little demons alone

**lanceylance:** you wanna FT until you’re good enough to drive???

_ FaceTime with  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ and  _ **_kogayne:_ ** _ 00:12:37.02 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> callbacks were supposed to be today but they got postponed?? um??? and the office won't tell us why?????? and we don't know the new callback date???? THIS SHOW IS SUPPOSED TO OPEN DECEMBER 7TH???????? hi my school is a mess
> 
> anyway
> 
> i'm about 2k into chapter 17 of stars go down, i'm hoping to have it out by friday, i'm so sorry it's taking this long


	41. the really long chapter where a lot of things happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance and pidge are basically siblings; keith goes to the office, and there are consequences (...not necessarily for _him_ ); the group debates the romance in the hunger games; some other plot-related stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got assigned a project in psych today and it's to take the 12 jungian archetypes and assign them to fictional characters and explain why. i do that shit for _fun_ i love this class
> 
>  
> 
> **trigger warning for injury mention having to do with a cut and a thumb**

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** how many consecutive hours do you have to be awake for before you start hallucinating

 **takashmeoutside:** did you pull an all-nighter

 **carrierpidgeon:** i had an essay to write but i needed to finish this book first but then on top of that i was working on modifying rover

 **mattata:** HOW DID MOM DAD AND I NOT CATCH YOU

 **carrierpidgeon:** you’ve waited 15 years to ask that question, the time for an answer is long-gone, rip

 **shayfromstatefarm:** take a nap when you get home from school

 **shayfromstatefarm:** better yet, take 10-20 minute naps during the school day, or like, if you have study hall

 **shayfromstatefarm:** they’re supposed to be refreshing, according to my psych teacher

 **hunkerdunker:** just don’t go near the 45 minute mark

 **hunkerdunker:** if you hit that, then you’ll wake up feeling like shit

 **takashmeoutside:** i’d try and do that during study hall

 **takashmeoutside:** i’d ask matt to wake me up bc i couldn’t set my alarm bc it would bypass the headphone jack on my phone

 **takashmeoutside:** matt let me hit the 45 minute mark and /then/ woke me up

 **mattata:** i have (0) regrets

 **takashmeoutside:** any white hairs that aren’t from keith are from matt

 **allurable:** for the longest time i thought shiro dyed his hair

 **allurable:** that’s not the case, he’s just incredibly stressed out

 **takashmeoutside:** i am so dead inside

 **mattata:** on a scale of “joking” to “depression nap by noon” how dead do you feel today

 **shayfromstatefarm:** how many people in this group chat have depression

 **takashmeoutside:** mostly joking and me

 **mattata:** i have depressive /tendencies/ but they don’t happen that often

 **lanceylance:** I HEARD DEPRESSION I’M HERE

 **kogayne:** ^^^

 **allurable:** i have concerns as to the fact that /that’s/ what summoned you to the group chat

 **hunkerdunker:** wait so legit half this gc has depression, are you guys like, okay

 **mattata:** peachy, at the moment

 **lanceylance:** i’m content at the moment, keith and i did a mobile dunkin order and skipped this long-ass line

 **kogayne:** sorry we didn’t ask anyone else

 **lanceylance:** he’s not sorry

 **kogayne:** yeah not really, i have like 5 cents left on the giftcard i used to pay

 **carrierpidgeon:** i feel utterly betrayed, did you even read the group chat, i’m actually dead

 **lanceylance:** i’ll get u a coffee, don’t worry

 **lanceylance:** anyway, shiro matt and i are fine right now, how about u, mullet

 **kogayne:** i’m fine

 **shayfromstatefarm:** if there are any days you guys are just *not* feeling it feel free to let us know

 **shayfromstatefarm:** and by feel free i mean seriously please tell us so we don’t accidentally make things worse or anything

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we’re all friends!! let us take care of you guys the way friends should!!!

 **lanceylance:** yeah hi just one thing, i understand it sounds irrational but when i’m having an episode i feel like a burden on everyone, that’s why i usually don’t tell anyone, i can’t help it

 **lanceylance:** obviously i try and work thru it, but if you guys wonder why i don’t say anything, that’s why

 **lanceylance:** and i’ve already gotten the “you’re not a burden you’re our friend” lecture several times in the last month pls don’t do it again

 **shayfromstatefarm:** okay

 **carrierpidgeon:** lance waiT, DIDN’T YOU SAY THE LINE WAS LONG, PLS DON’T WAIT IN IT TO GET ME A COFFEE

 **lanceylance:** shh i have connections

 **lanceylance:** and by connections i mean the barista is a nice old lady that i spent the summer charming, i’ve got this

 **lanceylance:** you’re funny if you think i’m actually waiting in this line right before school

 **carrierpidgeon:** i don’t deserve ur friendship

 **lanceylance:** yeah i know i’m a gem

 **lanceylance:** keith and i’ll be at school in 15, where are you gonna be

 **carrierpidgeon:** lab room

 **lanceylance:** bet we’ll see u then, this is lanceylance being responsible and signing out, any and all communication between now and first period will be performed via keith

 **hunkerdunker:** aren’t you guys in keith’s car

 **kogayne:** he insisted upon driving today

 **hunkerdunker:** and how is he getting to his house today if you’re tutoring someone after school

 **kogayne:** “hunk will u pls be a gem and give me a ride like the good best friend you are” -lance

 **hunkerdunker:** yeah sure, he’s gotta sit backseat tho, shay’s got claim on shotgun

 **kogayne:** “as long as i don’t have to walk to my house, thank you hunk, the best human in the game” -lance

 **kogayne:** (he’s lying, he says i’m actually the best human in the game, keep this on the dl)

 **kogayne:** apparently he didn’t want me to send that last text to the group chat, he feels exposed

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m not even surprised at this point, i’m going to make it blatantly obvious now that i am changing the subject

 **kogayne:** lance says that you’re a gremlin

 **kogayne:** “let me praise the fuck out of my boyfriend, i just bought her coffee, she needs to chill” -lance

 **carrierpidgeon:** fight me mcclain

 **kogayne:** “bet, she’s like 2 feet tall, i’ll have no problem winning”

 **carrierpidgeon:** LOW BLOW

 **kogayne:** “the only hits pidge can deliver”

 **carrierpidgeon:** >:O

 **mattata:** sorry i just had to put my phone down, i started crying i was laughing so hard

 **carrierpidgeon:** he won’t see it coming when i attack him then

 **mattata:** why? bc he’s taller than you??

 **carrierpidgeon:** nah, bc he’s got his hEAD SO FAR UP HIS ASS

 **kogayne:** lance gasped

 **kogayne:** he’s demanding to know how he can pummel a gremlin in two minutes

 **allurable:** lance and pidge pls chill

 **kogayne:** lance says he doesn’t wanna, pidge can fight him tomorrow, 3 o clock, at the flagpole

 **carrierpidgeon:** noodle boy is on

 **kogayne:** lance says he resents that comment

 **carrierpidgeon:** GOOD

 

**_lanceylance > carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** your coffee is on top of the tallest shelf in the lab room

 **carrierpidgeon:** WTF

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHEN DID YOU EVEN COME IN

 **lanceylance:** i am a super secret ninja

 **lanceylance:** i will never reveal my secrets

 **carrierpidgeon:** LANCE YOU ASSHOLE

 **lanceylance:** GREMLIN

 **carrierpidgeon:** I’LL GIVE YOU MONEY AT LUNCH FOR THE COFFEE

 **lanceylance:** NO NEED IT’S ON ME

 **carrierpidgeon:** DGRFJYUKRTDR

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so we have a situation

 **takashmeoutside:** the fact that /hunk/ is saying this concerns me

 **shayfromstatefarm:** keith got called to the main office?? no one knows why???

 **allurable:** oh SHOOT I KNEW I FORGOT ABOUT SOMETHING

 **allurable:** keith i’m so sorry

 **allurable:** this is part of the investigation into zarkon, you should be fine

 **kogayne:** YOU COULD’VE WARNED ME

 **kogayne:** DFFTGHERASLJ

 **allurable:** yes i kNOW i’m sorry!!

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** you okay??

 **kogayne:** i was literally two seconds away from a panic attack

 **kogayne:** i thought i was getting called down for something ridiculous

 **lanceylance:** do you want me to come down for emotional support

 **kogayne:** ,,,,, you’ll be okay with missing class??

 **lanceylance:** spanish is my first language i think i’ll be fine if i skip out

 **lanceylance:** ask them to call me down, tell them i’ve got important info

 **lanceylance:** which, i mean, i do, but like

 **lanceylance:** ehryjyuterdty just have them call me down

 **kogayne:** alright

 **kogayne:** thanks lance

 **lanceylance:** i’ve got u

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** shouldn’t they have removed zarkon by now?? i thought they had enough information to remove him, they just didn’t have a replacement

 **allurable:** the deadbeats in the district didn’t think the situation was urgent enough to find a replacement right away, but given everything that’s been happening

 **allurable:** such as students feeling so threatened by the administration that they refuse to speak out about issues

 **allurable:** those of us in the investigation decided it would be beneficial to have some more evidence brought to light

 **allurable:** i meant to say something earlier, and again, keith, i apologize profusely for putting you on the spot like that

 **kogayne:** it’s alright

 **takashmeoutside:** so what’s happened so far

 **kogayne:** basic questioning

 **kogayne:** asking me about incidents at school that the administration’s either brushed aside or made worse

 **kogayne:** and situations where i felt too threatened to speak out

 **takashmeoutside:** you okay?

 **kogayne:** yeah

 **takashmeoutside:** text me if you need to, keith

 **kogayne:** i will

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so i don’t know what keith said in the office

 **hunkerdunker:** but word’s spreading fast that rolo and nyma got called out of class

 **hunkerdunker:** and rumor has it that they might be banned from all drama club activities

 **lanceylance:** HUNK YOU’RE SHITTING ME

 **hunkerdunker:** it’s just rumors i’m hearing

 **hunkerdunker:** since, you know, you two have been in drama since freshman year, and they joined up last year

 **hunkerdunker:** and they have a history of harassing you two, as well as other students

 **lanceylance:** PRAISE BLESS NO MORE STRESS MY SKIN IS CLEAR MY CROPS ARE FLOURISHING

 **carrierpidgeon:** can you imagine if this rumor turns out to be false

 **lanceylance:** i’ll cry

 **lanceylance:** let me have this moment of joy

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i really hope we don’t have to see them

 **shayfromstatefarm:** as it is, the show’s in just over a month

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we don’t have the cast list yet

 **shayfromstatefarm:** rehearsals are gonna be tight and long

 **lanceylance:** PLEASE JESUS I NEED THIS GOOD NEWS, PLEASE LET IT BE TRUE

 **kogayne:** zarkon? helping us?

 **lanceylance:** well if he gets /removed/

 **kogayne:** plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls

 **shayfromstatefarm:** one can only hope

 **carrierpidgeon:** it’s a dark day when our hope of having a good day rests with /zarkon/

 **kogayne:** dark days indeed

 **lanceylance:** commence the hunger games

 **hunkerdunker:** um what

 **lanceylance:** the hunger games?? followed the dark days????

 **kogayne:** were you actually a hunger games fan

 **lanceylance:** OHOHOHO YES SIR I WAS I LOVED FINNICK, THAT BOY WAS ME UNTIL HE DIED

 **lanceylance:** I BROKE DOWN AFTER HIS DEATH I LITERALLY SCREAMED AND THREW THE BOOK

 **carrierpidgeon:** wait since when were you a reader??

 **lanceylance:** im not really, i just didn’t wanna wait for the movies to come out to see what happened

 **kogayne:** finnick was a Good

 **carrierpidgeon:** let’s start hunger games discourse in the main gc

 **lanceylance:** OH NO

 **kogayne:** is it,,, the Question

 **carrierpidgeon:** WAS PEETA ACTUALLY A GOOD LOVE INTEREST

 **carrierpidgeon:** we’re keeping gale out of this equation, he’s a whole other story

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HUNGER GAMES QUESTION: WAS PEETA A GOOD LOVE INTEREST

 **mattata:** this could make or break relationships

 **allurable:** MMMMMMMMM

 **carrierpidgeon:** who will be the first victim

 **lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **kogayne:** okay i guess i’ll answer because i’m introverted as fuck and related hardcore to katniss

 **kogayne:** spending my days in the woods rebelling against society with a variety of weapons

 **kogayne:** there was a complete lack of communication between katniss and peeta up until the quarter quell, HALFWAY THROUGH THE SECOND FUCKING BOOK

 **kogayne:** and THEN he gets his mind fucked with and so??? their relationship was better and more genuine in mockingjay bc they basically started over but i personally think it was toxic in the beginning

 **kogayne:** katniss got put on spot and got pressured into rolling with it

 **lanceylance:** i agree, he was trying to keep her safe but that whole “preserving the genuine shock” thing was so shitty, he should’ve TOLD HER what was happening bc that would’ve kept her even safer

 **lanceylance:** idc if they have a ~past~ with the bread incident COMMUNICATION IS KEY

 **lanceylance:** like mmm yeah okay she knew walking into the games they were gonna play up a romance but then he just??? goes and joins the careers without telling her??????? I WOULD’VE BEEN FREAKING OUT

 **mattata:** but then she refused to communicate her feelings to him after

 **kogayne:** she still had feelings for gale!! she was CONFUSED AND HAD THIS ROMANCE FORCED UPON HER WHEN SHE HAD HER FUTURE ALL PLANNED OUT ALREADY, SHE WAS EXPECTED TO TOSS EVERYTHING ASIDE FOR THIS STUPID FAKE ROMANCE

 **kogayne:** that’s like me having set plans with lance and someone like,,, idfk like plax showing up and being like “change in plans, we’re in love now”

 **lanceylance:** did you just imply you’d eventually dump me for plax

 **kogayne:** no,

 **carrierpidgeon:** well katniss and gale were bffs, it’d be more like if hunk and lance wanted to get together and shay showed up and swept hunk into some epic romance

 **lanceylance:** ANYWAY

 **lanceylance:** i definitely agree that their relationship was more genuine in mockingjay and even at the end of catching fire, i just hate the way it started

 **allurable:** gale was more appealing tbh

 **allurable:** peeta was sweet but gale got shafted

 **allurable:** except he did NOT handle his anger well, and then that bomb mishap basically ruined any chance of reconciliation

 **allurable:** gale was highkey done dirty

 **carrierpidgeon:** this is not about gale this is about bread boy,

 **mattata:** she prefers the dark-haired buff guy over the smaller blonde guy huh

 **allurable:** SHIT SHTHISHTUSIT

 **takashmeoutside:** unpopular opinion: katniss should’ve ended up with no one

 **carrierpidgeon:** i see your “no one” and raise you johanna

 **carrierpidgeon:** johanna didn’t coddle her johanna treated her like the strong girl she knew she was

 **takashmeoutside:** okay but listen—

 **shayfromstatefarm:** suzanne collins set it up so that ending up with someone and raising a family would bring her full circle and bring her character arc to a close as she learned to open up her heart and not fear the world, BUT,

 **shayfromstatefarm:** the way the romance was handled was gross at some points and i’m with pidge on the johanna thing

 **carrierpidgeon:** THANK YOU

 **lanceylance:** i’ll be over here in my corner, crying over finnick and annie

 **hunkerdunker:** finnick didn’t even come in till catching fire

 **lanceylance:** BUT THEN HE CAUGHT FIRE IN MY HEART, HE AND ANNIE WERE SO PURE, THEY WERE GONNA HAVE A SON, THEY GOT  M A R R I E D  AND THEN HE DIED

 **hunkerdunker:** you know who should’ve died? gale.

 **allurable:** hunk i’ll say this once: what the actual fuck did you just say

 **hunkerdunker:** it would’ve made sense for his character arc

 **kogayne:** you want katniss to lose another person she cares about???

 **hunkerdunker:** IT’S BETTER THAN THAT ENDING WHERE HE GOES TO DISTRICT 2 AND DOESN’T CONTACT HER

 **hunkerdunker:** hear me out: instead of working with the bombs or whatever, gale’s with ground troops, and he still gets put in the star squad and sacrifices himself to save katniss, or better yet, PRIM

 **hunkerdunker:** thus solidifying the fact that he would die for katniss, and now we don’t have this shitty ending where they /can/ talk but they don’t, bc now he’s dead

 **kogayne:** shit he has a point

 **allurable:** but get this what if gale volunteered to go into the games with katniss, and peeta stayed behind in the district

 **carrierpidgeon:** then peeta would’ve been silently taking care of her family and the whole series would’ve played out the same way with the roles reversed

 **carrierpidgeon:** katniss comes home entirely in love with gale but then finds out that peeta has been taking care of her family and that old flame is rekindled and she’s like “shit he’s sweet” and ahsjfgkewlsnsna a buncha bullshit happens

 **mattata:** are all of you forgetting the line where it literally says peeta is the dandelion in the spring, he’s the symbol of new life that katniss needs

 **lanceylance:** your wording made it sound poetic but idk if i necessarily agree

 **takashmeoutside:** isn’t it almost third period shouldn’t you guys be paying attention in class

 **kogayne:** shut up shiro stop being salty that you’re wrong

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith??? saying “salty”????

 **mattata:** ahem,

 **mattata:** the Lance Effect

 **kogayne:** or i have a personality outside of my relationship that i just don’t show very often bc i’m not always interested in sharing my feelings so i keep a cool mask on

 **carrierpidgeon:** ...damn

 **kogayne:** yeah tbh i’d really appreciate if u guys stop making it out like i don’t know teen culture and shit like that

 **kogayne:** especially those of you with whom i’ve been friends for years

 **kogayne:** …@ the holts

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m sorry

 **mattata:** ^^^^^^^^^ i would’ve stopped sooner if i’d realized

 **kogayne:** it’s alright

 **kogayne:** i get it’s a joke but after so long it gets old

 **carrierpidgeon:** no more, i promise

 **mattata:** ditto

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** on a scale of 1-10 how likely is it that paul tries some shit either third period or lunch

 **kogayne:** i mean he didn’t do anything yesterday, but then again it was his first day back, maybe he was trying to lie low

 **kogayne:** or maybe he’s finally realized that if he pulls some shit again then he could get suspended for longer or even expelled

 **lanceylance:** part of me /hopes/ he tries something just so he can get busted again

 **kogayne:** me too tbh

 **kogayne:** granted it’s nothing super damaging

 **lanceylance:** his words don’t matter

 **lanceylance:** you know whose words matter?

 **kogayne:** is this where we get mushy and you tell me you love me

 **lanceylance:** actually i was gonna put some fake deep quote in here but sure that works too

 **kogayne:** rUDE

 **lanceylance:** love u starlight~

 **kogayne:** skfertnyrjtyytrdberwarytmkyd

 **lanceylance:** aaaaahhhh flustered keith, my favorite ;)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** tfw the school goes into stay-put but ur in lunch so u have more time to stuff this pizza down ur throat

 **takashmeoutside:** was that visual needed

 **lanceylance:** yes absolutely, the mere thought of me shoving a pizza down my throat should turn on everyone but pidge

 **mattata:** this boy is my legacy

 **lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 **allurable:** why’s the school in stay-put

 **hunkerdunker:** probably a medical emergency

 **carrierpidgeon:** lmfao according to the texts i’m getting from my friends in woodshop, some kid’s thumb nearly got cut all the way off

 **takashmeoutside:** what the fuck

 **shayfromstatefarm:** aaaaaand that’s why i took design instead of woodshop

 **allurable:** how do you almost chop your thumb all the way off

 **carrierpidgeon:** DNMTYRETHSESJRYSHTHD IT WAS ONE OF PAUL’S CRONIES

 **lanceylance:** PAYBACK BITCH

 **kogayne:** aaaaah, karma

 **hunkerdunker:** that would also explain how you almost chop your thumb all the way off

 **kogayne:** i mean, it could happen to anyone, with a machine malfunction or something,,, but i’m willing to bet this one was just sheer dumbassery

 **carrierpidgeon:** MHM YEP IT WAS apparently these two guys from paul’s friend group were trying to prove their masculinity or how ballsy they were or something and one guy got too ballsy

 **shayfromstatefarm:** my hope for this generation dwindles each passing day

 **hunkerdunker:** it could be worse, we could be the baby boomer generation

 **lanceylance:** we could be the generation responsible for creating the baby boomers

 **kogayne:** those fuckers

 **carrierpidgeon:** literally

 **lanceylance:** wait so back to the topic at hand

 **lanceylance:** no one here was turned on by my pizza comment???

 **carrierpidgeon:** allura can i kick him pleASE

 **allurable:** [sigh] no, no you cannot

 **lanceylance:** >:O

 **lanceylance:** DRASTIC TIMES CALL FOR DRASTIC MEASURES, WATCH ME SHOVE THIS PIECE OF PIZZA DOWN MY THROAT

 **mattata:** DO IT

 **hunkerdunker:** LANCE NO

 **lanceylance:** LANCE YES

 _(1) video from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED

 **kogayne:** why are we dating again

 **lanceylance:** because you looooooooove me

 **kogayne:** unfortunately

 **lanceylance:** babe rude!!!!

 **lanceylance:** you are SO FLUSTERED right now anyway!!!

 **kogayne:** nno

 _(2) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** I AM BEING EXPOSED

 **lanceylance:** THIS IS WHAT YOU GET KOGANE

 **carrierpidgeon:** just one day, for the love of fuck

 **allurable:** that video is one of the most disgusting things i’ve seen today

 **allurable:** and i had to see shiro and matt’s faces when they rolled out of bed this morning

 **carrierpidgeon:** SO THAT’S WHERE MY BROTHER WAS LAST NIGHT

 **kogayne:** ah, so that’s where shiro went after i went to lance’s

 **mattata:** allura, you wound me, dear heart

 **takashmeoutside:** if u want the beauty u gotta deal with the beast first

 **lanceylance:** ;))))

 **takashmeoutside:** lance i swear

 **lanceylance:** that was for the other ‘gane

 **kogayne:** :)

 **shayfromstatefarm:** OH LOOK THEY LIFTED THE STAY PUT TIME FOR PHYSICS

 **lanceylance:** FUCK

 

**_lotoreal > thatsnymaname_ **

**lotoreal:** so, i heard you’ve been banned from all drama club activities.

 **thatsnymaname:** aren’t you zarkon’s kid?

 **lotoreal:** most unfortunately.

 **thatsnymaname:** can you get your dad to do something about it?? i’m not letting mclame and kogay ruin my senior year

 **lotoreal:** no can do.

 **thatsnymaname:** why are you even contacting me then??? wtf get out of here

 **lotoreal:** just reminding you that, perhaps next time, you’ll be kinder.

 **thatsnymaname:** ????? stop being cryptic you fucking weirdo??

 **lotoreal:** who do you think persuaded my father to ban you in the first place? he certainly didn’t come to that stellar conclusion himself. :)

 **thatsnymaname:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **thatsnymaname:** WHAT KIND OF DEAL DO YOU HAVE WITH THOSE ASSHOLES

 **lotoreal:** oh, no deal at all. you see, i have a bone to pick with certain people, such as the son of a teacher recently fired? and seeing as you’ve allied yourself with him and his cause, well...justice doesn’t hurt.

 **thatsnymaname:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??

 **lotoreal:** have a good day. do bear in mind that, if you step out of line again, it will be more than your privileges as a drama club member on the line.

 

**_thatsnymaname > yolorolo_ **

_(3) photos from_ **_thatsnymaname_ **

**thatsnymaname:** THIS PRICK

 **yolorolo:** so, the boys have other friends after all.

 **yolorolo:** that’s interesting.

 **yolorolo:** what a shame he made such a rookie mistake tho

 **yolorolo:** texting first??? oof.

 **thatsnymaname:** so what do you wanna do about it

 **yolorolo:** lie low for now. i have a few ideas we can work on later, when the office isn’t on our asses.

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** YO IT’S OFFICIAL NYMA AND ROLO ARE BANNED FROM DRAMA AND CREW

 **lanceylance:** CAN I GET A HELL YEAH

 **carrierpidgeon:** HELL YEAH

 **hunkerdunker:** thank goodness

 **shayfromstatefarm:** #blessed

 **kogayne:** what good news to end the school day with

 **kogayne:** now to go tutor this girl for an hour

 **lanceylance:** who are you tutoring, anyway?

 **kogayne:** idk, her name starts with a c or something

 **kogayne:** celeste???? christine???? idfk

 **kogayne:** i’ll be over as soon as we’re done

 **lanceylance:** bet try not to flirt with her too hard

 **kogayne:** yep make sure to leave room for jesus when ur w plax

 

 **_lanceylance_ ** _added_ **_hunkerdunker, shayfromstatefarm, madplax,_ ** _and_ **_floronawiththecorona_ ** _to_ **_mythology project group_ **

_(1) map from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** this is my address!!

 **lanceylance:** i wanna start filming at 3 so we can hopefully wrap by 6!!

 **madplax:** be there soon! just gotta stop at flo’s to get some costume stuff

 **floronawiththecorona:** ^^^^

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** is being shirtless under your toga necessary

 **lanceylance:** gotta make this believable, um, duh

 **lanceylance:** ...u distracted? (・ωｰ)～☆

 **kogayne:** HDHFWKKSKFKRE FORGET I ASKED, YOU HAVE A PROJECT TO FINISH

 **lanceylance:** and another i’ve gotta do later ;)))

 **kogayne:** you cnant;t sdothistome

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i have a few minutes while plax and hunk set up this shot

 **lanceylance:** how did the tutoring go

 **kogayne:** it’s literally all ryner’s teaching

 **kogayne:** she has the same problem you do: she can’t grasp it the way ryner teaches it, and then ryner brushes off requests for help, or her help isn’t doing enough

 **lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE

 **lanceylance:** also, i thought you were in the kitchen, where the fuck are you

 **kogayne:** sitting on your bed

 **kogayne:** in your jacket

 **lanceylance:** OH?  >;3

 **kogayne:** FULLY CLOTHED, THANKS

 **kogayne:** i’m watching the force awakens

 **lanceylance:** babe u really awaken my force ;))))

 **kogayne:** and i will now proceed to jump out your window and sprint home

 **lanceylance:** :O

 **kogayne:** ANYWAY i’ll be up here when you’re done, unless you need me on camera duty, let me know

 **lanceylance:** nah, i think we’ve got it

 **lanceylance:** chill out for now, captain doofus, i’ll be joining you soon enough

 **lanceylance:** love youuuu~

 **kogayne:** :) love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that thumb thing actually happened during my sophomore year, and yes, i was in lunch, i had extra time to eat, it was wonderful. musta sucked for the kid in woodshop tho.
> 
> lmfao so i'm a senior in high school right now, can you imagine if i updated this almost daily all throughout my college years, up through senior year
> 
> how wild would that be
> 
> ANYWAY IF I DON'T GET CHAPTER 17 OF STARS GO DOWN UP SOON PLS PUNCH ME IN THE FACE IT'S BEEN FOREVER


	42. blanket battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the relationship challenge is here, ft. blankets and cuddling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna make this longer but then i decided,,,, nah, the next chapter's gonna be pretty long, bc i started writing it last weekend immediately after i got home from hoco

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** hello fuckers, i have some news on this friday morning

**lanceylance:** i am Afraid

**carrierpidgeon:** the homecoming committee is a sack of shit still, and we need people to set up tomorrow at noon

**carrierpidgeon:** i volunteered all of you :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** who else is gonna be there??

**carrierpidgeon:** :)))))))) lotor’s entire squad :)))))))))))))))))

**kogayne:** oh, fun

**hunkerdunker:** did they get voluntold, too??

**carrierpidgeon:** yep, through acxa :))))))))))))))

**lanceylance:** now i need to rework my hoco prep schedule mother of fuck

**kogayne:** pidge why did you do this

**carrierpidgeon:** because i know my loyal friends love me and also you’re an idiot if you think i’m spending all afternoon by myself with those people

**kogayne:** you know what you’re right 

**carrierpidgeon:** you just pictured me being left alone with them all afternoon didn’t you

**kogayne:** yeah 

**kogayne:** i don’t like it

**hunkerdunker:** #ProtectPidge2k17

**shayfromstatefarm:** that /is/ a pretty good argument

**lanceylance:** you right

**lanceylance:** as much a gremlin as you are, you’re still our little sister

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey so don’t freak out

**kogayne:** i already don’t like where this is going

**lanceylance:** i overheard paul and his cronies talking during thace’s class

**lanceylance:** seriously if you talk about me and my friends can u at least not do it when we’re in earshot??? smh these people lack subtlety

**lancyelance:** ANYWAY

**kogayne:** WHAT IS IT

**lanceylance:** lotor apparently texted nyma yesterday, mocking her for getting banned from the drama club

**lanceylance:** he apparently was the one who pressed his dad into banning her

**kogayne:** WHAT AND WHAT

**lanceylance:** so now rolo’s plotting some sort of revenge, but he hasn’t told paul or nyma or anyone else

**kogayne:** OH GREAT, THAT’S FINE, EVERYTHING’S FINE

**kogayne:** WHY DID LOTOR TEXT HER IN THE FIRST PLACE

**lanceylance:** I DUNNO!!!

**kogayne:** we have to do something about this, don’t we??? he’s getting involved where we told him not to

**lanceylance:** i don’t wanna act just yet

**lanceylance:** i wanna see how this plays out

**lanceylance:** but just be aware

**lanceylance:** love you  <3

**kogayne:** love you too starboy  <3

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m so glad it’s friday

**lanceylance:** final football game tonight!! shay are you gonna help sell with us tonight

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah sure!!

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll be there too

**kogayne:** you know i will :)

**lanceylance:** blanket again??

**kogayne:** YES PLEASE 

**lanceylance:** you got it!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** two can play at the blanket game

**hunkerdunker:** way ahead of you ;)

**allurable:** deal us in, shalluratt’s taking the blanket competition

**carrierpidgeon:** oh good, can this be that relationship challenge we never did? bc i don’t feeling like planning that anymore

**hunkerdunker:** it’s wholesome and warm, i say yes

**shayfromstatefarm:** i have an excuse to cuddle hunk, i am down

**lanceylance:** keith???? at my side all night??? BET

**mattata:** um, shiro allura and i win, there are three of us and two of each of you

**takashmeoutside:** :)

**kogayne:** um, no, i win, i have /lance/

**lanceylance:** :D :D :D :D (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**hunkerdunker:** okay so what are the actual rules

**carrierpidgeon:** two contests: one for the best blanket, and one for who stays under the blanket the longest 

**lanceylance:** alright keith that means if you gotta pee we gotta go together

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaaaaand leave it to lance to make this dirty

**lanceylance:** *wiggles eyebrows* hey keeeeeith

**carrierpidgeon:** can you two

**carrierpidgeon:** not

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk shay you’re in study hall with them, make them stooooop

**hunkerdunker:** i would but they’re being soft today, it’s just the group chat they’re being obnoxious in

**lanceylance:** keith is a sleepy boy, i am his pillow today

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** look how cute, how soft, how pure

**lanceylance:** his hair is so fluffy i’m

**carrierpidgeon:** daaaaaaaaaaaad make him stop, he’s threatening to melt my frigid heart

**lanceylance:** WAIT PIDGE IS BEING NICE TO ME

**lanceylance:** WHAT ARE YOU PLOTTING

**carrierpidgeon:** nothing, i’ve just had a long day, and you know,,,, you guys are actually kind of adorable

**carrierpidgeon:** when you’re not making sex jokes or implying that you’re gonna fuck later

**lanceylance:** excuse me, we’ve never

**takashmeoutside:** can we not talk about my little cousin’s sex life

**mattata:** wanna talk about ours?

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**allurable:** shhh matt sweetie that’s for later

**carrierpidgeon:** you know what i want eye bleach now

**hunkerdunker:** don’t we always

**shayfromstatefarm:** sometimes we need ear bleach for when lance sends videos to the group chat

**lanceylance:** MY PIZZA VIDEO HAD TO TURN MORE OF YOU THAN KEITH

**carrierpidgeon:** keith, care to confirm whether this is factual?

**hunkerdunker:** keith is knocked out

**lanceylance:** he’s so precious i’m having heart palpitations

**lanceylance:** i love this boy so much you guys it physically hurts

**carrierpidgeon:** then put the phone down and nap with him

**shayfromstatefarm:** i promise i’ll wake you guys up for last period

**lanceylance:** THANKS SHAY K BYEEE

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay now that his phone’s away and he’s asleep, do i actually wake them up

**carrierpidgeon:** SHAY??? PLOTTING??

**shayfromstatefarm:** feeling like it today

**allurable:** i’m so proud??

**allurable:** but also yes you promised

**shayfromstatefarm:** i was wondering if anyone would catch that ;)

**hunkerdunker:** ahhh, testing our moral compasses, that makes sense

**shayfromstatefarm:** what kind of heathen do you take me for

**carrierpidgeon:** did shay just play me

**shayfromstatefarm:** you played yourself

**carrierpidgeon:** AND NOW SHE’S MEMEING AT ME, WHO ARE YOU

**hunkerdunker:** that’s my girlfriend!!! look at how good she is!!!!! BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU HEATHENS

**shayfromstatefarm:** (*´∀`*)

**carrierpidgeon:** well-played, belu, well-played

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** what do you guys think of this dress

_ (3) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**mattata:** (灬♥ω♥灬)

**mattata:** YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL WHAT THE HELL???

**takashmeoutside:** you’re stunning

**takashmeoutside:** what’s this for btw

**allurable:** wanna try and sneak into homecoming tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** i am a buff 25 year old, they’ll get suspicious

**takashmeoutside:** but i do like a challenge…

**mattata:** if you said something sooner we could’ve volunteered to chaperone

**allurable:** oh, no, i wasn’t asking if you wanted to join me

**allurable:** i was telling you: i wanna sneak into homecoming

**takashmeoutside:** won’t this potentially hurt the investigation against zarkon, if you’re caught breaking into a high school dance

**allurable:** who said i was getting caught?

**mattata:** a Woman

**mattata:** but also shiro’s right,,,

**allurable:** darn, guess i need an occasion for this dress

**mattata:** who’s up for date night while all the kiddos are out at hoco?

**allurable:** :)

**takashmeoutside:** sure

**takashmeoutside:** ...wait a minute

**allurable:** :) :) :)

**takashmeoutside:** you had this planned

**allurable:** nooooooooooo whyever would you think that

**mattata:** we are powerless before your charms

**allurable:** :) i love you two

**mattata:** ditto

**takashmeoutside:** you guys have gotten me through so many rough patches, i’m eternally grateful that you both have been here

**mattata:** you’re gonna make me cry, takashi

**allurable:** shut up before i ruin my makeup, granola bar

**takashmeoutside:** :)

**allurable:** also i found some nice shirts for you two, you two are gonna look so good

**mattata:** i’m so jealous of you two, you get to stare at my hotness all night

**allurable:** i ghostwrote that text

**takashmeoutside:** and i am sooo lucky 

**allurable:** you guys prepped for this game

**takashmeoutside:** almost

**mattata:** guys it’s only like, 2, we have five hours

**mattata:** which blanket are we using

**allurable:** the fuzzmonster

**mattata:** THE FUZZMONSTER’S MY FAVORITE

**takashmeoutside:** MINE TOO

**allurable:** everybody loves the fuzzmonster

**allurable:** we’re guaranteed to win

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i’ve been at your locker for like ten minutes where are you

**kogayne:** spying

**lanceylance:** TEA???

**kogayne:** the usual unoriginal mean teen bullshit

**kogayne:** destroy our reputations, try and get into fistfights and blame it on us

**kogayne:** poke at our insecurities

**lanceylance:** what the fuck

**kogayne:** i videotaped it but idk if i can present this as evidence since technically,,, i’m on school property, and they didn’t consent to being filmed

**lanceylance:** hang onto it, transcribe it, then get rid of it

**lanceylance:** technically you witnessed, that should be good enough

**kogayne:** keyword “should”

**lanceylance:** hhh yeah i know

**kogayne:** alright i’m coming now

**kogayne:** thanks for letting me sleep on you earlier btw

**lanceylance:** um of course?? you let me sleep on you last week, and i like watching you sleep

**lanceylance:** u look so Soft

**kogayne:** was i dreaming it or were you playing with my hair

**lanceylance:** i was trying to give you little braids and when that didn’t work i just started petting you

**lanceylance:** it’s so soft i caN’T HELP IT

**kogayne:** oh good bc it was really soothing

**kogayne:** pls do it more often

**lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GOT IT

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** let the blanket battle begin!

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** HELP LANCE IS THE SWEETEST I NEED IMMEDIATE DEATH

**takashmeoutside:** why do you need to die this time

**kogayne:** SO YOU KNOW HOW LANCE HAS A FUZZY SHARK BLANKET

**takashmeoutside:** the one you guys were snuggling under last week

**kogayne:** YES

**kogayne:** WELL HE COMES OVER TO PICK ME UP FOR THE GAME, RIGHT

**takashmeoutside:** yes i was there when you got into his car

**kogayne:** I GET IN THE CAR AND HE’S LIKE “I’VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU” AND HE MAKES ME WAIT UNTIL WE GET TO THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS

**takashmeoutside:** ah, testing your patience, some habits die hard

**kogayne:** ikr

**kogayne:** ANYWAY

**kogayne:** HE BRINGS UP THE BLANKET COMPETITION AND SAYS THAT HE GOT US A NEW BLANKET FOR TONIGHT

**kogayne:** BECAUSE WE HAVE TO WIN IN STYLE OR SOME SHIT

**kogayne:** AND HE PULLS IT OUT

**kogayne:** AND?????

**takashmeoutside:** i’m on the edge of my seat here, keith

**kogayne:** shut your sarcastic mouth asshole

**kogayne:** IT’S GOT A HIPPO ON IT??? SHIRO WHY DOES HE DO THESE THINGS TO ME

**takashmeoutside:** i still don’t get your love for hippos or where it came from but anyway, that’s cute

**kogayne:** WHY IS HE LIKE THIS, I DIDN’T ASK FOR A BLANKET, HE JUST WENT AND BOUGHT ONE OUT OF NOWHERE??? AND NOW WE’RE SNUGGLING UNDER IT???

**takashmeoutside:** you’re so whipped for him i can’t believe you

**kogayne:** lance is a Good and none of us deserve him, idk how i ended up with him

**kogayne:** I’M SO IN LOVE WHAT DO I DO

**takashmeoutside:** hold that feeling tight and don’t let go?

**kogayne:** WILL DO

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW DID YOU ALL MANAGE TO STAY UNDER YOUR BLANKETS ALL NIGHT

**allurable:** acquired skill

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk is warm

**kogayne:** lance is clingy

**lanceylance:** shut up mullet so are you

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway okay best blanket goes to shalluratt with their fuzzmonster

**allurable:** EVERYONE LOVES THE FUZZMONSTER

**mattata:** so soft,,, so warm,,,,, i feel so nice inside...and outside

**takashmeoutside:** being squished in the middle was also a heartwarming experience

**mattata:** :)

**carrierpidgeon:** and as for who managed to stay under their blankets all night,,,, idk, are you all out from under your blankets

**allurable:** matt shiro and i drove home 15 minutes ago, yes

**hunkerdunker:** you /saw/ me and shay i literally drove you guys home, we’re done

**lanceylance:** KEITH AND I AUTOMATICALLY WIN THEN

**lanceylance:** WE’VE BEEN SITTING IN MY BACKSEAT FOR THE PAST TWENTY MINUTES

**carrierpidgeon:** what could you have possibly been doing for the past twenty minutes while waiting

**kogayne:** plowing through an episode of a tv show we’re watching together

**lanceylance:** i forgot i left my ipad in the backseat, just plugged that sucker right in

**shayfromstatefarm:** you mean to tell me that hunk and i lost both competitions

**carrierpidgeon:** you have now won the “managed to lose in both the other categories” reward

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry, lance and keith just had to be extra

**lanceylance:** we didn’t come to play we came to win

**carrierpidgeon:** ,,,, anyway

**carrierpidgeon:** can you two like, go home, so you can be prepared for hoco tomorrow??? LONG DAY AHEAD

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

**carrierpidgeon:** GO TO BED

**kogayne:** FIGHT THE POWER

**lanceylance:** keith sweetie go to bed so we can both look our best and outshine everyone else tomorrow night

**kogayne:** okay good night i’ll be asleep in the passenger seat, i expect to be carried inside

**lanceylance:** i gotchu

**carrierpidgeon:** why are you bOTH LIKE THIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i was at the football game tonight and some boy that half the theatre club is friends with told me that asexuality wasn't a thing and spewed these other bullshit opinions at me that he's "researched" and acted so high-and-mighty and??? i fucking hated it??? i got extremely uncomfortable every time he got near the bake sale table after that but i couldn't say anything bc everyone else liked him and adirfrttnrherrn ANXIETY, I HATED IT, LIKE THANKS FOR INVALIDATING MY SEXUALITY AND BARELY APOLOGIZING
> 
> ALSO ONE OF MY EX-FRIENDS IS APPARENTLY SPREADING LIES ABOUT ME AGAIN??? TO KIDS WHO HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING IN OUR CONFLICTS???? she says i hate my best friends and i never wanted to be friends with them in the first place, like you don't even know my life fuck off please??? ahsjdwetrerwenrte i hate it i hate everything
> 
> i'm lowkey on the edge of a depressive episode bc of it, so i'm gonna go watch the new ep of buzzfeed unsolved and maybe FINALLY FINISH CHAPTER 17 OF SGD??? WE'LL SEE


	43. HOMECOMING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance, hunay, and pidge take on hoco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _[looks at end note in last chapter]  
>  me: what a fucking emo_
> 
> i wrote the beginning half of this chapter last weekend, immediately after i got home from homecoming
> 
> lowkey wanna write a klance-centered oneshot around their hoco shenanigans but idk if i have the time or attention span for that
> 
> **trigger warning for discussion of DRUGS AND ALCOHOL**

**_Homecoming Committee 2017_ **

**acxalutelynot:** is this everyone?

**carrierpidgeon:** i think so

**carrierpidgeon:** this includes everyone who’s not in student gov but volunteered to help

**hunkerdunker:** more like “got volun-told”

**carrierpidgeon:** semantics

**acxalutelynot:** okay, everyone is showing up at 12 for setup

**acxalutelynot:** i’ll need people on table duty, which includes getting the tables set up with the correct number of chairs, centerpieces, candy, extra decorations, the whole nine yards

**acxalutelynot:** people will need to be on photobooth duty, which includes constructing the booth and preparing the props

**acxalutelynot:** another group is in charge of handling the candy bar and setting up the non-table decorations, such as the hay bales and side tables, all with candy

**acxalutelynot:** finally, door decorations, including the outside entrance and the ballroom entrance

**acxalutelynot:** if those people could also handle general hall decorations, that would be great, and photobooth can help with that since they’ll be in the hall

**acxalutelynot:** we can get this done in under an hour if no one is slacking off, or making out in half-finished photobooths

**lanceylance:** @ me next time

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** i don’t care what the fuck kind of “alliance” we have, acxa calling me and keith out makes me REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, WE’RE NOT AT THAT LEVEL OF FRIENDSHIP

**carrierpidgeon:** according to lotor, we’re not even friends

**lanceylance:** she doesn’t even seem like the type to make jokes, which, idk how she’s dating ezor, who’s the word “bubbly” personified, 

**lanceylance:** SO???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** wanna make out in a half-finished photobooth just to piss her off

**hunkerdunker:** no,

**lanceylance:** YES

**hunkerdunker:** pissing off your enemies is nOT the way to resolve things!!

**kogayne:** but it’s more fun that way

**kogayne:** /and/, it’s not like we’re making her watch, /so/, if she lashes out, it’s /her fault/ for becoming distracted

**shayfromstatefarm:** i hate that he has a decent argument for this

**lanceylance:** i have another point to make: /she’s not even our enemy, we’re allies at the moment/

**carrierpidgeon:** dhrthtjlfweldqwjbewjw klance 1, hunay 0

**hunkerdunker:** hunay is our brangelina??

**shayfromstatefarm:** cute, sounds like honey, i like it

**hunkerdunker:** not as cute as u tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** there is (1) thing cuter than me, and his name is hunk

**hunkerdunker:** <3

**lanceylance:** if i’m not the best man at this wedding, i’m suing

**hunkerdunker:** only if i’m your best man

**lanceylance:** well, technically, keith is THE BEST MAN EVER but since he’s the one i’m marrying,,, i guess you’ll do

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** jk of course ur gonna be my best man  <3

**carrierpidgeon:** i have dibs on flower girl at both of these weddings or else i’m throwing hands

**lanceylance:** don’t you mean throwing flower petals

**carrierpidgeon:** KEITH MAKE SURE I’M DOWN AS YOUR FLOWER GIRL

**kogayne:** ummm duh the second cryptkid /has/ to get a role in my wedding???

**carrierpidgeon:** THNAK

**lanceylance:** going into the kitchen for a thnak

**carrierpidgeon:** i will kill u

**carrierpidgeon:** u won’t see it coming, bc it won’t be till ur married so i can throw those petals,

**hunkerdunker:** i said a HEALTHY THNAK REBECCA

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM BEING ATTACKED

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** so hoco setup kicked my ass, i can’t believe i have to be back there in six hours

**kogayne:** acxa looked like she wanted to kick my ass

**takashmeoutside:** what did you do

**kogayne:** she told the group chat that we’d have an easier time if people didn’t slack off or make out in a half-finished photobooth 

**kogayne:** and i mean it was pretty obvious she was calling me and lance out, but she never addressed anyone specific, sooooo

**mattata:** YEEEEAAAAH FIGHT THE POWER

**carrierpidgeon:** she can’t even get mad, we still finished earlier than we thought

**shayfromstatefarm:** thanks to yours truly being tall enough to finish the ceiling decorations with no more than a boost from hunk

**hunkerdunker:** and no thanks to lance and keith,

**lanceylance:** eXCUSE ME

**lanceylance:** KEITH AND I DID PLENTY

**allurable:** plenty of slacking off, from what it sounds like

**lanceylance:** AJDJFKSLAL FUCK THIS IM GONNA GO NAP, I DON’T NEED TO DEFEND MY ACTIONS

**lanceylance:** keith babe pls wake me up in two hours so i can get ready  <3

**hunkerdunker:** …

**hunkerdunker:** yeah so anyway keith and lance did nothing

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** you know what i hate

**kogayne:** i didn’t even have to wake him up, whoa

**lanceylance:** no i had a weird dream that made me angry

**allurable:** you okay?

**lanceylance:** yes i’m okay, just aggressively having flashbacks to junior hoco

**kogayne:** to the Incident?

**lanceylance:** AJDJGKELLASDNJA YES TO THE INCIDENT

**carrierpidgeon:** oooh

**lanceylance:** i hate???? personal invasions of space???

**lanceylance:** like, you wanna break the rules and grind all over the dancefloor??? fine, i break that rule all the time

**lanceylance:** BUT DO NOT!! GRIND ON PEOPLE!!! WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT!!!!! FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!

**lanceylance:** the ONE reason i’m always lowkey nervous before parties,

**lanceylance:** (yes, get your gasps in now, resident extrovert party boy has pre-party anxiety)

**mattata:** *gasp*

**kogayne:** i will actually punch you in the face the next time i see you

**lanceylance:** is because of assholes who think it’s fine to grind on me!! without asking!!

**lanceylance:** these people see “flirty party boy” and immediately assume i’m down for random grinding????? like, stop??

**lanceylance:** I’M IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP NOW TOO LIKE,,, FUCK OUTTA HERE, THIS LAP IS FOR MY BOYFRIEND ONLY

**carrierpidgeon:** call them out? roast their asses? throw hands?

**lanceylance:** i’m not trying to get kicked out of hoco

**carrierpidgeon:** then i’ll do it??

**lanceylance:** you’re not getting kicked out on my behalf

**lanceylance:** AND DON’T YOU GET ANY IDEAS EITHER, HUNK KEITH AND SHAY

**kogayne:** damn there goes my plan

**lanceylance:** the only plan u have is to dance w me all night

**lanceylance:** cha cha slide, cupid shuffle, cotton-eyed joe, dougie, party rock anthem, give me everything

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL the good shit

**lanceylance:** and yes we’ll  go cuddle in the hallway outside the ballroom whenever the noise is too much, just say the word

**kogayne:** <3

**lanceylance:** :)

**lanceylance:** wELP better go get ready, a face doesn’t just look perfect by itself

**kogayne:** actually yours does,

**lanceylance:** SJDJWKALARIGNNW

**carrierpidgeon:** can i have eye bleach please

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** HOMYGOD

_ (14) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** LOOK HOW GOOD MY BOYFRIEND LOOKS??? HOLY SHIT?????

**shayfromstatefarm:** i see your boyfriend and raise you mine:

_ (8) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**lanceylance:** that’s a Man right there!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** aaaah don’t i know it :)

**kogayne:** i see your boyfriends ( ;) ) and raise you /mine/

_ (19) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** wHOA WHO’S THAT STUD

**kogayne:** i dunno i found him on the side of the road one day and felt bad for him

**hunkerdunker:** your boys are all cool i guess :P but look at my fREAKIN GIRLFRIEND!!!

_ (37) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** dECEASED

**kogayne:** A KNOWN LEGEND

**carrierpidgeon:** you fuckers all have dates to hype you up, this isn’t fair, but i guess if you want things done correctly you have to do them yourself

**carrierpidgeon:** BEHOLD: KATIE HOLT OF HOUSE HOLT, FIRST OF HER NAME, THE PIDGEON, QUEEN OF THE ROBOT ARMY, INTELLECTUAL OF THE CLASS OF 2020, SECRETARY OF THE ROBOTICS CLUB, MEMBER OF THE GENDER  & SEXUALITIES ALLIANCE, TECHNOLOGICAL NERD EXTREME

_ (23) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** oh also photo creds to matt

**carrierpidgeon:** who was not sending my whole speech to the group chat bc “i’m you’re brother, katie, that’s /weird/”

**lanceylance:** THAT’S OUR GIRL

**kogayne:** YO WHAT KIND OF CRYPTID IS THIS

**kogayne:** THIS ONE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL

**hunkerdunker:** [clutches chest] [rolls over and dies]

**shayfromstatefarm:** A WOMAN™

**carrierpidgeon:** :P

**carrierpidgeon:** my legs feel so free

**carrierpidgeon:** i haven’t worn a dress in so long i forgot what this felt like

**carrierpidgeon:** i need new dresses

**shayfromstatefarm:** you, me, allura. mall. next weekend.

**allurable:** i’m down!!!! i have discounts and coupons for basically every store!!!!! i’m willing to spend it on dresses for pidge!!!!!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** aLLURA NO U DON’T HAVE TO

**allurable:** TOO LATE

**allurable:** also who did your makeup wtf

**lanceylance:** hello!!

**allurable:** wHA

**lanceylance:** she wouldn’t let me see the dress but she needed makeup help!! and since i was a human doll for my sisters to play with when they were all going through their makeup phases, i,,,,, picked up on things

**lanceylance:** and then asked for lessons

**lanceylance:** who do you think did /my/ makeup

**allurable:** that was actually my next question

**allurable:** and i’m guessing you also did keith’s

**kogayne:** he also did my makeup for the halloween party last weekend, do you know how much glitter that boy owns

**lanceylance:** i like glitter

**lanceylance:** and i like it even better on keith’s face

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** i like seeing lance happy, i’ll deal with looking like the space age threw up on me

**lanceylance:** i didn’t go overboard this time tho!! just lowkey

**lanceylance:** the lights’ll be low and we’ll have strobe lights, it’ll look amAZING

**hunkerdunker:** so why did you not extend these makeup offers to me and shay

**lanceylance:** i thought u guys would say no

**hunkerdunker:** wtf man

**lanceylance:** so then am i doing everyone’s makeup when prom rolls around??

**shayfromstatefarm:** um yes??

**hunkerdunker:** dude you kILLED IT with these looks

**lanceylance:** thanks i do my best

**hunkerdunker:** YEAH YOU DO SO NEXT TIME YOU’RE DOING MY MAKEUP

**lanceylance:** to be fair tho u and shay slay the game barefaced

**lanceylance:** all of u do

**lanceylance:** not sure why u want me messing with that

**kogayne:** SJFJALALFJTHREBWOWPF LANCE

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT THE HELL MAN, YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT

**lanceylance:** can and did, now are u driving us or what, time is of the essence

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK, I’M SCREAMING AT KEITH, WHO’S SITTING /RIGHT NEXT TO ME/ AND WE CAN’T HEAR EACH OTHER FOR SHIT

**takashmeoutside:** ahhh, things i don’t miss about high school: sacrificing my hearing to go to school functions

**hunkerdunker:** my ears are being viOLATED THIS WAS DEFINITELY NOT THE APPROVED PLAYLIST

**carrierpidgeon:** whichever dumbass junior was in charge of the playlist forgot to submit it to the dj, this guy’s flying blind

**kogayne:** good thing zarkon generally doesn’t give a shit about student well-being

**lanceylance:** [that awkward moment when half of these songs are on your most-played list]

**allurable:** fntrerdmurtdrsytge best response

**allurable:** also, since you little kiddos were sending pictures of your hoco dates to the group chat:

_ (54) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** PRESENTING: TAKASHI SHIROGANE AND MATTHEW HOLT, THE LOVES OF MY LIFE

**lanceylance:** HOT DAMN

**kogayne:** lookin good, what’s the occasion

**allurable:** date night!! we’re going to the arcade!!!!

**lanceylance:** you dressed up,,, for the /arcade/?

**carrierpidgeon:** i respect it

**shayfromstatefarm:** they did it for the Aesthetic™

**allurable:** YEP

**mattata:** whoa who’s that stud in the brown

**mattata:** o shit it me!!

**mattata:** wanna know who looks better than me

**lanceylance:** um keith?? duh??

**mattata:** MY HOT DATES

_ (123) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**kogayne:** my phone just shut off for a second what the fUCK MATT

**shayfromstatefarm:** um can we talk about ALLURA’S DRESS

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHERE DID YOU BUY THAT

**allurable:** secret dress shop ;)

**hunkerdunker:** (allura code for “little-known shop that’s probably gonna blow up in the next year”)

**carrierpidgeon:** the layering on that dress is so complex i’m??????? 

**allurable:** we’re going there next weekend ;)))

**takashmeoutside:** oh, there’s a group chat happening??? better just,,,

_ (74) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** look at the people i have the pleasure of dicking around with in an arcade tonight

**shayfromstatefarm:** THESE ARE THE CUTEST PHOTOS

**kogayne:** SHIRO winning out for cutest photos over ALLURA’S?

**takashmeoutside:** i’m coming for lance’s title next

**lanceylance:** FIGHT ME SHIROGANE, I AM CUTE-MASTER SUPREME

**takashmeoutside:** [throws calculus]

**lanceylance:** BOI

**shayfromstatefarm:** run lance, the differentiables are coming

**hunkerdunker:** the derivatives lurk in the shadows, waiting,

**carrierpidgeon:** [GASP] THE SLOPE OF THE TANGENT LINE!

**lanceylance:** yOU ARE ALL  A S S H O L E S

**kogayne:** yeah come on guys, don’t be a derivative of an acceleration function

**carrierpidgeon:** ETNJRETMYEWSNTYRTED 

**lanceylance:** KEITH I /TRUSTED/ YOU OMFG

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■)

**lanceylance:** ୧༼ಠ益ಠ╭∩╮

**kogayne:** what, you angry?

**lanceylance:** boi u better shut ur mouth

**kogayne:** make me

**hunkerdunker:** /here we go/

**hunkerdunker:** anyway we’ll leave you alone on your date shalluratt, have fun!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** take pictures

**shayfromstatefarm:** allllll the aesthetic pictures

**allurable:** of course

**shayfromstatefarm:** and then send them to me after so i can make some edits with them

**allurable:** i don’t know where you’re going with this but i’m in

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I LEFT FOR TWO MINUTES TO GET A SHIRLEY TEMPLE WHERE DID YOU ALL GO

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith and lance are somewhere in the middle of the dancefloor

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re never coming back, that place is a black hole

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk and i are on the edge, sorta near our table??

**carrierpidgeon:** AH I SEE YOU

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** how does lance manage to stay dancing for this long in a mass of sweaty bodies

**carrierpidgeon:** ???? is that you at the table

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** it got so hot in the middle i needed a break

**carrierpidgeon:** need company?? 

**kogayne:** nah i’m good, i’m going back into the Void in a minute

**kogayne:** just needed water

**kogayne:** SERIOUSLY HOW DOES LANCE KEEP GOING WHAT THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** your wedding is gonna kick your ass

**kogayne:** fUCK

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** yo stay clear of the hallway for now

**hunkerdunker:** zarkon’s here

**lanceylance:** i’m deliberately going into the hallway

**hunkerdunker:** lance what the FUCK

**kogayne:** LANCE I HAVE AN IDEA

**shayfromstatefarm:** why 

**hunkerdunker:** these two,,,

**kogayne:** GET YOUR CAMERA READY WE’RE ABOUT TO MAKE THINGS SUPER GAY

**kogayne:** PIDGE WE NEED ASSISTANCE

**carrierpidgeon:** omw

**kogayne:** holy shit i can sort of hear out here

**kogayne:** except everything sounds like i’m underwater

**lanceylance:** my ears are RINGING SO LOUDLY

**kogayne:** you were on the dancefloor without break

**kogayne:** give it a few minutes

**carrierpidgeon:** im in the hallway, where

**kogayne:** photobooth, it’s in zarkon’s line of view

**carrierpidgeon:** oh i’m so looking forward to this

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

_ (15) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** caught hunk and shay being downright adorable

**kogayne:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

**carrierpidgeon:** print this. frame this. put this everywhere.

**carrierpidgeon:** fuckign majestic. mindblowing. astounding. 

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOU GUYS

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** has lance never taught keith how to do this dance

**carrierpidgeon:** with all of the parties the mcclain family has that he’s been to

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s getting Flustered

**hunkerdunker:** but is it because lance is there or because he can’t do this dance to save his life

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna videotape this

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i thought they didn’t do slow songs at hoco, bc this isn’t a dance you’re expected to have a date for???

**carrierpidgeon:** HELLO????

**carrierpidgeon:** oh, right, you’re all dancing

**carrierpidgeon:** y’all are cute tho

**carrierpidgeon:** my project over the summer is now going to be to build a robot to be my date to dances

**carrierpidgeon:** specifically so i don’t look awkward standing alone

**carrierpidgeon:** THEY’RE REFILLING THE SHIRLEY TEMPLE THINGS!! EAT MY DUST YOU DANCING FUCKERS

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** HOW ARE YOU STILL GOING LANCE

**lanceylance:** you mean to tell me that after doing the cupid shuffle, cha cha slide, cotton eyed joe, and wobble, you’re tired???

**kogayne:** WHO WOULDN’T BE

**shayfromstatefarm:** best decision of the night: switching my heels for socks after the first twenty minutes of this thing

**carrierpidgeon:** lance is like the fuckin g energizer bunny

**lanceylance:** WEAKLINGS, I’LL BE ON THE DANCEFLOOR

**kogayne:** i’m sweating, i’ll be at the table

**carrierpidgeon:** me too

**hunkerdunker:** count me in, i’m getting another plate of chicken

**shayfromstatefarm:** i need WATER

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** so it appears a whole group of kids somehow snuck by the breathalyzer

**kogayne:** w h a t

**shayfromstatefarm:** toward the back of the dancefloor

**shayfromstatefarm:** red dress, two black dresses, mr tanktop, mismatched buttons, and the three guys in button-downs with sperrys

**hunkerdunker:** drunk as fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** i think two of them are also high

**kogayne:** mismatched buttons and one of the sperry dudes

**kogayne:** high as freakin kites

**shayfromstatefarm:** how has no one from administration spotted them yet

**kogayne:** it’s /our administration/

**shayfromstatefarm:** shoot you right

**hunkerdunker:** which one falls on their ass and exposes themselves first

**carrierpidgeon:** twenty bucks on the blonde one with the black dress

**carrierpidgeon:** she’s already wobbling and those heels are /not/ helping

**kogayne:** what possesses a person to show up to a school function shitfaced

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay but consider: they didn’t show up like this, they somehow snuck in alcohol or weed

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmmmmmm highkey wanna investigate for shots and giggles

**carrierpidgeon:** *****shits

**kogayne:** yeah i’m /sure/ that’s what you meant

**carrierpidgeon:** stfu kogane

**kogayne:** if you come home drunk or high matt will skin me alive

**carrierpidgeon:** take it easy

**carrierpidgeon:** why get high on drugs when you can get high with Knowledge

**carrierpidgeon:** or construction fumes

**hunkerdunker:** why are you like this

**carrierpidgeon:** NerdLife™

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway, shay, wanna go to the bathroom with me and see what’s going on

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah sure!

**kogayne:** im gonna go check the guys’ room

**hunkerdunker:** you’re on your own, i’m holding down this table

**hunkerdunker:** unless u wanna go track down lance in that mess 

**kogayne:** solo investigation it is

**hunkerdunker:** :O

**hunkerdunker:** shouldn’t you never go alone for these things

**kogayne:** it’s a high school dance in a hotel ballroom, it’s not like the woods last month

**kogayne:** i’ll be Fine

**hunkerdunker:** you better be, bc lance isn’t checking his phone and i really don’t feel like coming to your rescue

**hunkerdunker:** i mean i’ll probably feel bad and end up coming in but,,, you know what i mean

**kogayne:** yeah i know

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so this whole operation is based in the girls’ room

**carrierpidgeon:** the bathroom is in a hallway before check-in, so some girls snuck in early and hid flasks and shit

**kogayne:** the men’s room has a window, guess where people are getting high

**kogayne:** literally i walked in and two boys were climbing in the window

**kogayne:** i turned and walked back out

**shayfromstatefarm:** i think two of the girls involved are in our physics class

**kogayne:** well smart students /do/ tend to figure out how to game the system

**kogayne:** how do you think i’ve been #1 so long?

**hunkerdunker:** a good work ethic, the same way we’ve all stayed in the top ten??

**kogayne:** no, it’s called “kiss ass first semester and bs everything second semester”

**kogayne:** i mean yeah that good work ethic thing helps but also make sure u have teachers willing to bump your grades when needed

**kogayne:** or exempt you from assignments completely

**hunkerdunker:** i feel played

**kogayne:** i mean i /also/ took so many ap classes that my mental stability is ruined forever

**hunkerdunker:** ,,,,

**kogayne:** I MEAN IM OKAY RIGHT NOW BUT IM JUST SAYING

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** where in this mess of sweaty bodies are you

**kogayne:** oh that’s right you’re not answering your phone

**kogayne:** smh i’m gonna kick ur ass, i can’t believe i have to dive into this

**kogayne:** i feel like i’m on the walking dead, just charging into masses of hungry zombies

**kogayne:** but instead of zombies it’s hyped-up high schoolers

**kogayne:** so basically the same thing

**kogayne:** AHA THERE YOU ARE

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** have the energizer bunny’s batteries finally died??

**lanceylance:** nah, captain doofus needed a rest from the music

**lanceylance:** after he charitably agreed to dance with me for six songs in a row

**hunkerdunker:** only one hour until sleepover time

**lanceylance:** i’m so excited, we haven’t had a group sleepover at your house since winter break last year

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** my moms were gonna prep most of it while we’re here, but of course, i made some food before i got here

**lanceylance:** HUNK FOOD BEST FOOD

**kogayne:** moms?

**kogayne:** there was only one woman there when we slept over last time??

**kogayne:** you’ve only ever mentioned your mom, singular????

**hunkerdunker:** ...wait we’ve been friends for how long

**kogayne:** sdrthesdnrkersk SORRY BUT WHAT

**hunkerdunker:** i have 2 moms

**hunkerdunker:** one is my mom

**hunkerdunker:** one is my tina

**hunkerdunker:** aka the samoan word for mom

**hunkerdunker:** y’know, because only my biological mom is samoan

**hunkerdunker:** and it’s easier to differentiate the two of them instead of being like “MOM!! NO, THE OTHER MOM!!”

**kogayne:** makes sense, but then

**kogayne:** where was your tina (can i say that?) when we slept over??

**hunkerdunker:** (yes) she was on the late shift at the hospital, she’s a doctor

**kogayne:** OH

**kogayne:** this whole time i thought your mom was the doctor

**kogayne:** okay that clears things up

**lanceylance:** see when keith and i get married, he’s dad and i’m daddy

**kogayne:** and then when our kids get into their teenage years and discover how fucked the term “daddy” has become, you’ll be reduced to “father”

**lanceylance:** ,,,,so anyway i’ll be dad and keith will be daddy

**kogayne:** (e_e)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**takashmeoutside:** obligatory end-of-homecoming check-in

**lanceylance:** i think i lost my voice screaming “don’t stop believing”

**allurable:** that’s the whitest thing you’ve ever said

**lanceylance:** yeah i know

**lanceylance:** but the whole crowd was into it i couldn’t help it

**takashmeoutside:** are you all okay otherwise

**takashmeoutside:** no one touched alcohol or drugs, correct?

**kogayne:** drugs and alcohol aren’t allowed at school functions

**takashmeoutside:** yeah and i was a high schooler once

**mattata:** i think i got drunk my senior hoco

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh] you did

**allurable:** i had to hold your hair back while you puked in shiro’s backseat

**kogayne:** SHIRO TOLD ME THAT HE MADE A DUMP RUN AND SOME STUFF WAS NASTY AND THAT’S WHY HIS BACKSEAT SMELLED LIKE SHIT FOR A WEEK

**takashmeoutside:** the only shit back there was one shitfaced holt

**lanceylance:** i’m amazed we’re not hearing about shiro getting drunk with him

**takashmeoutside:** i lost a bet the week before, i was the designated driver

**kogayne:** ERTHREWESEKREWKAKE SO YOU PLANNED TO GET DRUNK

**mattata:** we didn’t /plan/ to get drunk, it just sort of,,, happened

**allurable:** matt’s a lightweight

**mattata:** ALLURA

**allurable:** i speak the truth

**takashmeoutside:** SO BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND, WERE ALL OF YOU MORE RESPONSIBLE

**lanceylance:** i spent the entire night on the dancefloor, except when i was cuddling keith in the hall

**kogayne:** i mean, shay pidge and i discovered kids getting drunk and high in the bathrooms, but we didn’t partake

**carrierpidgeon:** this school has some sneaky kids

**takashmeoutside:** [sigh] of course it does

**takashmeoutside:** so what are you all up to now

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk is driving us all back to his house for a sleepover

**shayfromstatefarm:** he feels the need to let you know that there will not be any alcohol or drugs there

**takashmeoutside:** tell him i said thank you

**shayfromstatefarm:** he says it’s no problem

**lanceylance:** i dunno why you’re so concerned, i definitely didn’t plan on getting drunk

**lanceylance:** keith’s sworn off getting drunk for a while now

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m waiting until everyone goes off to college to get drunk so i can’t be ratted out

**lanceylance:** gremlin

**mattata:** what the fuck did you just say pidge

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk says “i’m not the type to overdrink, you gotta know your limits”

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m just like matt, i’m a lightweight

**allurable:** why do you know that

**shayfromstatefarm:** a tight community means a lot of wedding invites means a lot of alcohol

**takashmeoutside:** you know what i’m sorry i asked have fun

**lanceylance:** you kids stay safe too use protection xoxo

**takashmeoutside:** LANCE

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** psst

**kogayne:** we’re in the same room

**lanceylance:** yeah but you’re all the way over by the outlet and i’m on the couch and everyone else is asleep i didn’t wanna wake them

**kogayne:** what is it

**lanceylance:** come here i’m coooooold

**kogayne:** you’re wearing my blanket /and/ yours

**lanceylance:** i’m cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold

**kogayne:** but laaaaaaaaaaaance i’m on youtuuuuuuuube

**lanceylance:** we can watch together on my ipad, i brought that headphone splitter thing so we can both wear our own pairs of headphones

**lanceylance:** just cOME HEEEEERE 

**lanceylance:** i’m remembering how cute you looked with your glitter and i MISS YOUR FACE COME HEEEEERE

**kogayne:** if you want me over there you gotta beg

**lanceylance:** THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I’M DOING

**kogayne:** not begging hard enough

**lanceylance:** keeeeeeeith pls i’m begging u come get ur warm butt over here and snuggle up in my arms, i can literally see the goosebumps on you

**kogayne:** it’s pitch black in here

**lanceylance:** YES I KNOW AND I CAN STILL SEE THEM, COME HERE YOU STUBBORN LITTLE SHIT

**kogayne:** [sigh] i’m coming

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU 

**lanceylance:** i love youuuuu

**lanceylance:** and i had a really fun night and you’re the best boyfriend ever and i can’t wait to marry youuuu

**kogayne:** TRTRYTEFKDBKWR STOP THAT

**lanceylance:** oooooh someone’s flustered

**kogayne:** you little shit

**lanceylance:** *your little shit

**kogayne:** i hate u

**lanceylance:** love you too :)  <3

**kogayne:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> okay so there's not gonna be a sunday chapter and i already have a plan for the monday chapter, now i'm gonna go try and fucking finish chapter 17 of stars go down (i feel like i say that in every author's note, jiminy christmas)
> 
> _**and now an ad brought to you by Shameless Self-Promotion™**  
>  **[stars go down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/26462739)** is the third and final installment in the **[deceit so natural trilogy](http://archiveofourown.org/series/767406)** , which begins when prince lotor mistakenly believes lance has killed keith, and rapidly spirals out of control thanks to the shenanigans of team voltron. begin reading the epic trilogy here, with the first installment, **[where people go to die](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539)**._
> 
> SEE Y'ALL IN THE NEXT CHAPTER


	44. Cheater Cheater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance cheated on keith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually wrote this all on sunday, and then purposely waited until the middle of the school day to post it just to piss off my friends :)
> 
> i expect i'll be yelled at at some point today for that but oh well ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** why did i just get a text from some girl in our grade telling me she’s “so sorry about what happened with lance”

 **kogayne:** what happened with lance

 **lanceylance:** oh

 **lanceylance:** i cheated on you at homecoming

 **kogayne:** i’m sorry i just started laughing so hard i dropped my phone

 **lanceylance:** lmfao yeah i know, who do these people think they are

 **lanceylance:** someone started a rumor last night (aka a WHOLE 24 HOURS AFTER HOMECOMING, THAT’S HOW LONG IT TAKES THESE FUCKERS TO SCHEME) that while you left me alone to go sit or get water or whatever, i made out with this girl or something ridiculous like that

 **lanceylance:** funnily enough no one has any proof except one sketchy-looking photo

 **lanceylance:** and by sketchy i mean the angle is weird and there’s obvious photoshop, but half the kids at school are dumbasses and apparently can’t tell the difference

 **lanceylance:** anyway i’m like 99% sure one of paul’s friends started the rumor and circulated the photo, so now half the school thinks i cheated on you

 **kogayne:** yes, of course, you cheated on me. you, wearing the promise ring i got you, constantly gushing very loudly in front of everyone how much you love me, proclaiming how much of a loyal hoe you are. you, who piggybacked on me as we went to the car, and got into the same car together, and went home with each other. you, who tagged me in no less than 6 instagram posts from saturday night. yes. you cheated on me. it makes so much sense.

 **lanceylance:** SDFHGMTHERGSKDRLER YEAH I KNOW

 **kogayne:** wanna make things interesting

 **lanceylance:** OOOH WHAT’S UP

 **kogayne:** let’s fuck with everyone

 **kogayne:** we’ll tell everyone that you cheated on me bc you got wind that /i/ cheated on /you/ first

 **kogayne:** it’ll add some plausibility to this story

 **kogayne:** bc it’s like “oh where did keith disappear to all those times he left the dancefloor?” I WENT TO KISS A DIFFERENT BOY, DUNDUNDUNNNN

 **lanceylance:** OMFG

 **lanceylance:** YES LET’S DO IT

 **lanceylance:** how long do you think it’ll take the Gang to figure it out

 **kogayne:** if it takes longer than 2 seconds we’re going to have problems

 **kogayne:** anyway that means we can’t be mushy at school, so how committed to your role are you gonna be

 **lanceylance:** i’m a fantastic actor

 **lanceylance:** as far as everyone knows i’m completely heartbroken and torn between wanting to punch you or going to cry in the bathroom

 **lanceylance:** but also i’m not ditching the promise ring

 **kogayne:** oh shoot how are we gonna wear them

 **lanceylance:** i’m just gonna put mine on a chain and wear it under my shirt as a necklace

 **kogayne:** that’s smart, i don’t have a chain

 **kogayne:** nvm i’ll just steal one from shiro

 **kogayne:** ...aw this means we can’t give each other rides today

 **lanceylance:** commit to your role, kogane

 **lanceylance:** and expect gratuitous love messages throughout the day

 **kogayne:** “throughout the day” are we gonna be able to keep from breaking out laughing that long

 **lanceylance:** THIS IS SERIOUS BUS i can’t even finish this text i can’t take it seriously

 **lanceylance:** today is gonna be so fun but so challenging holy shit

 **kogayne:** a test of the ignorance and hivemind of the class of 2018

 **kogayne:** and a test of our own acting skills, determination, and will

 **lanceylance:** hoo boy

 **lanceylance:** also like, i know this is your idea, but pls let me know if it becomes overwhelming

 **kogayne:** you too, i don’t want you going to the bathroom for an /actual/ breakdown

 **lanceylance:** <3

 **lanceylance:** alright mullethead, let’s do this

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** why is word spreading that lance and keith cheated on each other

 **carrierpidgeon:** what did you fuckers do this time

 **lanceylance:** /I/ DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO THAT CHEATING ASSHOLE

 **shayfromstatefarm:** are we supposed to believe this

 **hunkerdunker:** here let me pretend to roll with this for a second: oh no, lance, how tragic, keith, how could you

 **hunkerdunker:** okay now that that’s over, what’s actually going on

 **kogayne:** oh thank goodness you guys aren’t morons

 **lanceylance:** one of paul’s cronies started a rumor that i cheated on keith at homecoming, so keith and i are gonna pretend keith cheated on me first, so i was retaliating, and now we hate each other

 **hunkerdunker:** so instead of shutting down the rumor...you added a /backstory/

 **carrierpidgeon:** that is the DEFINITION of FUCKING EXTRA

 **lanceylance:** if they’re gonna make shit up they could’ve at least made it interesting

 **lanceylance:** instead of something cool and original they went with a bland “flirty party boy cheats on quiet emo broody introvert boy” like??? that’s so cliche

 **lanceylance:** now it’s “emo broody introvert boy has secret badboy passionate side, which he uses for evil, leaving the party boy brokenhearted and revealing him as a vulnerable, sensitive soul, who only sought comfort in some random girl dancing with him”

 **hunkerdunker:** that made like 75% sense

 **lanceylance:** we had to make sure the kids at school could understand

 **carrierpidgeon:** werthewasdtm

 **takashmeoutside:** hi, good morning, my tired ass just had a heart attack upon opening the group chat before logic kicked in

 **takashmeoutside:** glad to hear no one actually cheated

 **takashmeoutside:** slightly disconcerted about this whole plot you two have cooked up

 **lanceylance:** shhh just go back to sleep, everything is under control

 **takashmeoutside:** famous last words

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hi i miss sitting next to you, why the fuck is jenna in my seat

 **lanceylance:** she heard the rumor and wants me to know she’s “always here to talk”

 **lanceylance:** i have never talked to her once before in my life

 **lanceylance:** ...scratch that, i think i talked to her once sophomore year, between breaking up with nyma and asking you out

 **kogayne:** oh so she’s one of those “lance is single i must snatch him now” people

 **lanceylance:** hhhhh i expect she won’t be the last today

 **lanceylance:** unfortunately, i’m rather attractive

 **kogayne:** so what are you gonna do?? u gonna flirt back????

 **lanceylance:** nah, that’s basically leading them on

 **lanceylance:** i’m just gonna pretend i’m so upset i can’t even think about another relationship right now and buy their sympathy instead

 **kogayne:** aw, sensitive lance

 **kogayne:** deep sensitive lance is one of my favorite lances

 **lanceylance:** and deep sensitive lance misses your fa

 **lanceylance:** wait a fucking minute

 **lanceylance:** ARE YOU IN THE BACK LEFT CORNER DESK

 **kogayne:** ...it was open

 **lanceylance:** YOU FUCKING ANIME NERD

 **kogayne:** YOU’RE ONE TO TALK

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** why do so many people buy this story wHAT THE FUCK

 **kogayne:** idk my forensics class is pretty skeptical

 **lanceylance:** i’ve only had two people out of like 20-something tell me that they don’t believe me, and only one of them pointed out my instagram posts

 **kogayne:** the first thing someone said to me was “you literally showed up in like six posts on lance’s instagram, you fucking liar”

 **kogayne:** they didn’t talk to me before that, they literally just walked into the room and started yelling at me

 **kogayne:** at the very least, word is spreading

 **lanceylance:** THESE DUMBASSES

 **lanceylance:** i’m actually highkey hurt that these people think so lowly of us, that we’d ever cheat on each other

 **kogayne:** hey, i think pretty highly of you

 **kogayne:** i love you

 **lanceylance:** :) love you too mullethead

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** hi, thought just occurred to me, what’s the seating situation at lunch

 **kogayne:** isn’t there an empty table near our usual

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yep

 **kogayne:** so i’ll just move to that one

 **carrierpidgeon:** ah yes, the angry emo loner kid isolates himself

 **carrierpidgeon:** a Classic

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’ll move with you in a show of solidarity and also so you’re not eating alone

 **kogayne:** thanks pidge

 **lanceylance:** i’m gonna send u snapchats of me shoving food down my throat

 **kogayne:** LANCE

 **lanceylance:** ;))))

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** YOU GUYS ARE RUINING PEOPLE’S HOPES AND DREAMS

 **lanceylance:** ugh finally the tables have turned

 **kogayne:** what happened

 **shayfromstatefarm:** thace’s class, what else is new

 **shayfromstatefarm:** first of all, paul is very confused as to where this keith cheating thing has come from, but he’s also taking full advantage of it, according to the texts i read over his shoulder while he wasn’t paying attention

 **hunkerdunker:** second of all, remember that girl who sits behind me who called you guys goals

 **kogayne:** she seemed nice, yeah

 **hunkerdunker:** she walks up to me and asks if the rumors are true and i’m like “idk man i think so??? they seemed pissed at each other earlier”

 **hunkerdunker:** and she gets this thousand-yard stare and sounds like she’s about to cry and goes “IF KLANCE IS DEAD WHAT HOPE IS THERE FOR THE REST OF US”

 **kogayne:** well, glad to see our ship name caught on

 **carrierpidgeon:** this whole thing is absolute madness i’m so glad you two did this

 **carrierpidgeon:** it’s only third period and i’ve got 17 betting pools going, i’m about to be so rich

 **kogayne:** gambling is illegal

 **carrierpidgeon:** suck my ass

 **kogayne:** i want a cut of the money

 **carrierpidgeon:** what’s in it for me

 **kogayne:** i’ll do your precalc homework for a week

 **carrierpidgeon:** i like math fuck off

 **kogayne:** i’ll buy you a Death Coffee the next five times you ask for one

 **carrierpidgeon:** done

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **lanceylance:** WHAT HAPPENED

 **kogayne:** I’M USUALLY EARLY TO THACE’S CLASS SO HE PULLS ME ASIDE AND HE’S LIKE “SO I HEARD THAT YOU’RE HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH LANCE”

 **lanceylance:** ERTJYRERDTMYRT WHAT DID YOU SAY

 **kogayne:** I’M LIKE “LISTEN, I’M OKAY, JUST LET THINGS HAPPEN” AND THACE GOT REALLY CONFUSED FOR A SECOND AND THEN HE LOOKS AT ME AND HE’S LIKE “...YOU’RE SHIROGANE’S COUSIN, YOU GOTTA BE UP TO SOMETHING”

 **kogayne:** AND I LOST IT I BROKE DOWN LAUGHING

 **lanceylance:** THACE DIDN’T ASK /ME/ IF EVERYTHING WAS OKAY

 **kogayne:** YEAH BUT THACE LIKE,,, KNOWS ME, SORTA, AND KNOWS SHIRO

 **lanceylance:** DSFFTYKUTYJDHSFA

 **lanceylance:** okay but speaking of okay, are you okay

 **kogayne:** i mean about halfway through class some boy slid his phone number to me

 **kogayne:** and i slid it back and wrote “not now” on it

 **lanceylance:** they’re gonna be shook tomorrow

 **kogayne:** yeah i know

 **kogayne:** how are you holding up

 **lanceylance:** i’m pretty sure at least 3 people are plotting your death for “hurting” me, because i’m a “sweet boy” who “doesn’t deserve this” and “fuck keith, he’s always been an asshole” (ding dong they are wrong)

 **kogayne:** oh fun

 **lanceylance:** this other boy came up to me and goes “you’re probably gonna get the lead in the play, good job, keep it up”

 **kogayne:** LMFAOOOO

 **lanceylance:** and then paul passed me on the way out of class and he wouldn’t look me in the eye

 **kogayne:** tfw when ur evil plot backfires and now the whole school is being played

 **lanceylance:** can’t wait to see his face tomorrow

 **lanceylance:** anyway i’ll see u at lunch but i won’t /really/ see you

 **lanceylance:** but i love youuuu

 **kogayne:** love you too :)

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** can someone tell lance that if he keeps making heart eyes at keith then this whole charade falls apart

 **carrierpidgeon:** these two are insufferable, keith’s cranked the emo up to 11

 **kogayne:** bc i just remembered that my next three periods are all with lance

 **lanceylance:** aw babe

 **kogayne:** on the bright side, in physics, our lab groups are basically permanent, bc everyone’s at partner limit and no one is willing to switch

 **kogayne:** so, TRAGICALLY, I’LL HAVE TO WORK WITH LANCE

 **lanceylance:** it’s monday it’s study hall

 **kogayne:** FUCK

 **kogayne:** i’ll just stubbornly refuse to leave my seat when study hall rolls around then

 **lanceylance:** same

 **lanceylance:** um just a warning paul is coming ur way

 **shayfromstatefarm:** oh boy

 **kogayne:** oh this should be fun -_-

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** what did he say

 **kogayne:** he’s “so sorry” about what happened with “mcclain” and he guesses that “these things just never last” and then made some suggestive comments that i’ll be bringing to guidance later

 **shayfromstatefarm:** send them to allura too

 **kogayne:** will do

 **kogayne:** why does he keep doing this, why can’t he just LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE

 **lanceylance:** y’wanna do the reveal now?

 **kogayne:** oh hell no i’m not letting that little prick ruin this, i wanna see his face tomorrow morning when we show up to school holding hands and sipping dunkin like the assholes we are

 **kogayne:** let him go to sleep thinking he’s successfully ruined the best thing in my life

 **lanceylance:** i’m the best thing in your life?

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** yeah of course you are??? why do you sound so surprised

 **lanceylance:** i mean i knew you loved me and stuff but i’m usually not up there on people’s lists of “best things in my life”

 **lanceylance:** i’m just kinda there

 **lanceylance:** it’s usually a rare occasion if i even break top five

 **lanceylance:** so,,, to hear i’m *the* thing,,,,

 **kogayne:** for a long time it was shiro adopting me

 **kogayne:** and then you came along and became my boyfriend and welcomed me into your family,,, and we’re gonna get married one day,,,,,

 **kogayne:** yeah, you are the best thing in my life

 **kogayne:** you’re passionate and considerate and have a beautiful soul and you try so hard to smile every day, even when it’s difficult, you’re just so Good??? and the fact that you’re my boyfriend????????

 **lanceylance:** you motherfucker we’re supposed to be angry at each other, now i’m about to cry

 **kogayne:** if anyone asks just say that you’re crying over our failed relationship

 **kogayne:** it’s only half-wrong

 **lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i wanna kiss ur stupid face

 **kogayne:** u gotta waaaaait ;)

 **lanceylance:** as soon as school is out i’m driving to your house

 **kogayne:** :)

 

**_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m reading over keith’s shoulder and he and lance are being so sappy it’s ridiculous, someone get some clorox up in here

 **hunkerdunker:** “someone get some clorox up in here” i

 **shayfromstatefarm:** oh so that’s why lance looks like he’s about to cry, they’re being Soft

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**allurable:** it’s lunchtime and none of you are talking in this group chat, what’s going on

 **allurable:** i read the earlier texts, is everyone alright, did you all die of affection deprivation

 **lanceylance:** keith made me cry

 **kogayne:** you aren’t crying

 **lanceylance:** I’M ALMOST THERE KEEP IT UP KOGANE

 **lanceylance:** ...WAIT DO NOT KEEP IT UP CUT IT OUT

 **shayfromstatefarm:** they’re being sappy, paul said some things to keith, most of the school thinks this breakup is real, pidge has a gambling ring

 **mattata:** it has been (1) day why is all of this nonsense occurring

 **kogane:** klance was Iconic and now people are shaken up over us

 **carrierpidgeon:** stfu matt you live for nonsense, if you were still in high school you’d be thriving right now

 **mattata:** i want in on this gambling ring

 **carrierpidgeon:** no can do, high schoolers only

 **mattata:** gremlin

 **carrierpidgeon:** tell me something i don’t know

 **allurable:** what do we mean, paul said some things to keith

 **kogayne:** nasty comments i don’t wanna repeat

 **kogayne:** i’ve already written them down and i’m bringing them to guidance after school

 **allurable:** i’ll make sure they reach the investigation, we’re incredibly close to getting zarkon out

 **allurable:** so everyone is okay otherwise?

 **carrierpidgeon:** yes, other than klance being ridiculous

 **carrierpidgeon:** ...so situation normal

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**dinezor:** i’m sorry, are we supposed to believe lance and keith cheated on each other and broke up?

 **dinezor:** especially after homecoming??? where they barely left each other’s side all night???

 **acxalutelynot:** not to mention, quick social media snooping turns up photos of them on lance’s instagram that haven’t been deleted, had the caption changed, or untagged keith

 **zethridofmyproblems:** that show of moving tables at lunch was convincing, unless you noticed them constantly watching each other and constantly texting

 **sippinganartini:** yeah i definitely saw that

 **dinezor:** DSTRRRDNRTK SORRY NARTI

 **lotoreal:** i very nearly asked kogane what was going on today

 **acxalutelynot:** “i very nearly did the thing acxa told me not to do”

 **lotoreal:** i was concerned, is all.

 **acxalutelynot:** yeah and /we/ understand that but /they/ do not

 **acxalutelynot:** and there is /nothing/ to text them about

 **lotoreal:** but on the off chance this /is/ a real breakup…

 **dinezor:** if they broke up for real then i’ll dump acxa

 **acxalutelynot:** i want you to read my username

 **dinezor:** that’s the point: i’m not breaking up with you because THEY DIDN’T BREAK UP, I AM WILLING TO PUT MONEY ON THIS

 **zethridofmyproblems:** i think pidge is running some betting pools actually

 **dinezor:** TELL HER TO DEAL ME IN

 

**_zethridofmyproblems > carrierpidgeon_ **

**zethridofmyproblems:** ezor would like to be dealt into one of your betting pools under the “this is all a charade” side

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

_(1) photo from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so, um, presumably, their group has also discussed this

 **lanceylance:** oh, great, my favorite people -_-

 **kogayne:** at least one(?) of them sees through it??? that’s one bright side???

 **mattata:** is it because they pay attention or because they /stalk you/

 **kogayne:** ...do they stalk us, do you think?

 **mattata:** um yes it’s super obvious

 **allurable:** i wouldn’t say /stalking/ i would just say they’re overly-concerned

 **hunkerdunker:** yes, overly-concerned people who text us out of the blue and somehow know what we’re generally up to

 **hunkerdunker:** s t a l k e r s

 **shayfromstatefarm:** nah, this isn’t actual stalking

 **shayfromstatefarm:** this girl in the neighborhood had a real stalker once, that was /horrifying/, she almost died

 **shayfromstatefarm:** this is just teenagers being weird

 **carrierpidgeon:** internet stalker

 **takashmeoutside:** stalkingisaseriousissuetheyarenotstalkerspleasechangethesubjectrightnowthanks

 **kogayne:** so mothman

 

**_carrierpidgeon > zethridofmyproblems_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** she’s been dealt in

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i miss you

 **lanceylance:** i’m literally sitting across from you but also same

 **kogayne:** i miss friday when i just slept on you and everything was right with the world

 **kogayne:** :(

 **lanceylance:** stoooooooooooop keith i’m gonna cry

 **kogayne:** can we nap together after school

 **lanceylance:** yes!!! yes of course

 **kogayne:** this whole thing has showed me i hate “fighting” with you, i don’t like being mad at you

 **kogayne:** i don’t like being away from you

 **kogayne:** like in the negative way

 **kogayne:** bc i mean codependence is unhealthy

 **kogayne:** but also

 **kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **lanceylance:** yeah no i get what you mean, if we ever broke up it would be awful i probably wouldn’t leave the house ever again and also i’d probably eat my weight in ben  & jerry’s and learn every line in star wars bc i’d have nothing better to do with my life

 **kogayne:** >:( do not get into unhealthy coping habits!!!

 **lanceylance:** boi take ur own advice

 **kogayne:** i’ll help you if you help me

 **lanceylance:** deal

 **lanceylance:** ...so i don’t feel like talking to the group chat, what should we talk about

 **kogayne:** [ryan bergara voice] are ghosts real

 **lanceylance:** i feel like every time you and pidge go cryptid hunting you aggressively act out buzzfeed unsolved

 **lanceylance:** she’s a really short female shane and you’re ryan

 **kogayne:** that actually happens an embarrassing percent of the time, yes, you would be correct

 **kogayne:** but are ghosts real, lance

 **lanceylance:** yes, ghosts are definitely real

 **lanceylance:** and bigfoot

 **lanceylance:** and nessie

 **lanceylance:** BUT

 **kogayne:** oh no

 **lanceylance:** the line has to be drawn somewhere

 **kogayne:** OH NO

 **lanceylance:** [leans in real close]

 **kogayne:** i wish u would irl

 **lanceylance:** too bad i have to pretend to hate u irl shut up stop interrupting

 **kogayne:** okay go on

 **lanceylance:** [leans in so close that ur probably getting turned on]

 **kogayne:** is this necessary

 **lanceylance:** [whispering] mothman isn’t real

 **kogayne:** TAKE IT BACK YOU DICK

 **lanceylance:** HE’S NOT REAL KEITH

 **kogayne:** THAT’S IT WE’RE BREAKING UP

 **lanceylance:** [throws hand over forehead] HOW TRAGIC, THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE, I WEEP FOR WHAT HAS BEEN, AND WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN [dies]

 **kogayne:** i feel like you’ve definitely done that before

 **lanceylance:** a long time ago, in a group chat far, far away

 **kogayne:** opinion on jar jar binks

 **lanceylance:** keith i swear to fuck if you feel that annoying motherfucker had any place being in star wars i will kick your ass

 **kogayne:** I HATE HIM RELAX YOU KNOW THIS

 **lanceylance:** good

 **lanceylance:** i’m too tired to kick ur ass

 **kogayne:** shhh just one period left, then we can nap together

 **kogayne:** in that hippo blanket

 **lanceylance:** do u like it

 **kogayne:** i fuckign love it

 **lanceylance:** oh good bc do you know how long it took me to find

 **lanceylance:** why do you even like hippos so much

 **kogayne:** i saw one at the zoo once when i was like, 6, and it blepped at me and it was all downhill from there

 **lanceylance:** do hippos even blep

 **kogayne:** this one did, i loved it, i still love it, i wonder if it’s doing okay

 **kogayne:** shit there’s the bell

 **lanceylance:** u hippo-loving mullethead

 **lanceylance:** love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~

 **kogayne:** love you too, who’s walking out the

 **kogayne:** door first

 **kogayne:** well that settles that

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** well.

 **carrierpidgeon:** it’s the end of the day, and a large portion of the school still thinks you two broke up.

 **carrierpidgeon:** you made it an entire day, color me impressed.

 **kogayne:** yeah i’m surprised too, i thought lance would break under the pressure

 **lanceylance:** excuse me mr “i miss you i wanna nap on you aaaaa i miss laaaaaaaaaance”

 **kogayne:** stfu mcclain

 **shayfromstatefarm:** any estimates on how much richer you’re going to be

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m looking at $673 at the very least

 **hunkerdunker:** ohmy gdo

 **lanceylance:** PIDGE WHAT THE FUCK

 **takashmeoutside:** if the office catches you you could get suspended or expelled

 **carrierpidgeon:** good thing the office is a shitshow and i don’t plan on getting caught!!

 **allurable:** my question is: you’re friends with lance and keith, why did so many people bet against you

 **carrierpidgeon:** students here aren’t always the brightest, i dunno if you could tell

 **mattata:** i’m so proud right now i’m actually crying, my sister just swindled half the school

 **carrierpidgeon:** :P

 **carrierpidgeon:** can’t wait for the dramatic reveal tomorrow

 **lanceylance:** can you tape it for us

 **lanceylance:** well i mean it’ll happen multiple times bc obviously we see everyone at different points in the day, BUT

 **kogayne:** film our dramatic entrance into the school carrying coffee

 **lanceylance:** and then edit it so it goes in slow motion

 **kogayne:** throw some cool music over it and some nice camera pans and zooms

 **carrierpidgeon:** you two are lucky i enjoy our friendship and also fucking with people

 **carrierpidgeon:** ...but not like fucking-fucking

 **carrierpidgeon:** fuck fucking-fucking

 **kogayne:** ...what

 **carrierpidgeon:** [cups hands around mouth] I’M A NON-FUCKING ASEXUAL

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** this was simultaneously one of the worst and one of the most interesting mondays ever

 **kogayne:** hurry up, i’m lonely

 **lanceylance:** yeah yeah i’m here, i couldn’t text back bc i was driving and being responsible

 **lanceylance:** you in your room?

 **lanceylance:** oh look, there you are at the door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all didn't _really_ think lance would cheat on keith, didja
> 
> (how many of you had heart attacks upon opening this chapter) (this chapter was the result of a random idea i got in the shower that i decided to run with for shits and giggles)
> 
> anyway, off to do other things, like homework and work on sgd


	45. I FORGOT TODAY WAS ELECTION DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the writer forgot today was election day aka the group has a day off from school aka shenanigans, ft. klance, holt sibs, broganes, hunay, and shalluratt, also ft. light team forest fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dramatic reveal is happening!!!!...........in tomorrow's chapter!!!! I FORGOT IT WAS ELECTION DAY I'M SORRY I DIDN'T HAVE SCHOOL AND THIS FIC IS HAPPENING IN REAL TIME
> 
> anyway someone asked what allura, matt, and shiro did for a living, that question gets answered :)

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i completely forgot that we had today off, i was looking forward to pissing off everyone this morning

**lanceylance:** gotta love election day, fucking everything up as usual

**kogayne:** well, i mean, not /everything/

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmmm????

**kogayne:** wanna spend today making up for lost time yesterday?

**lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!! YES

**lanceylance:** i missed you so much yesterday

**kogayne:** ugh me too, and yOU SHOVING PIZZA DOWN YOUR THROAT WASN’T HELPING

**lanceylance:** :) can’t help it, gotta make you flustered, it’s part of the Boyfriend Package

**lanceylance:** wanna know what else is part of the Boyfriend Package ;))))

**kogayne:** L A N C E

**lanceylance:** answer: a whole bunch of cuddles, i’m coming over!!!

**lanceylance:** do you want coffee

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** bring your homework, too

**kogayne:** BRING YOUR CALC STUFF, YOU ARE LEARNING TODAY

**lanceylance:** uuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhh fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

**kogayne:** lance mcclain you are going to pass calculus whether you like it or not

**kogayne:** i will make you know this material or die trying

**lanceylance:** better call the funeral home now, i’ll pick out your casket

**lanceylance:** don’t worry, i’ll give you a great eulogy

**kogayne:** just get your ass over here

**lanceylance:** love ya babe~

 

**_carrierpidgeon > mattata_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED

**mattata:** do your homework

**carrierpidgeon:** i did it all yesterday so i wouldn’t have to do it today

**mattata:** take a nap

**carrierpidgeon:** a waste of daylight hours

**mattata:** it’s cloudy as fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** semantics

**carrierpidgeon:** ughhhhh allura’s doing stuff for her dad, you’re working for ONCE

**mattata:** yes and i want Death

**mattata:** “excuse me, do you know what aisle i can find condoms in? you look like you’d know” 

**carrierpidgeon:** DID SOMEONE ACTUALLY SAY THAT TO YOU

**mattata:** a 50-something-year-old with a goatee and a stringy little ponytail, who then wINKED AT ME

**carrierpidgeon:** EW EW EW EW EW 

**mattata:** this is a fucking target, sir, not walmart, shave your face and stay the fuck away from me

**mattata:** the worst part is

**mattata:** i was restocking shelves

**mattata:** they were literally in the next aisle over, he just had to walk two feet and OPEN HIS DAMN EYES

**mattata:** i am a college graduate with an engineering degree i should not be stuck working in a tARGET, FUCK THE ECONOMY

**mattata:** is your school hiring

**carrierpidgeon:** how the fuck should i know

**carrierpidgeon:** besides, you’d need to go back to college for a teaching degree before you can even consider

**mattata:** MOTHER OF FUCK I’M STILL NOT DONE PAYING STUDENT LOAN DEBT

**carrierpidgeon:** how many times has allura offered to cover you

**mattata:** I WILL NOT TAKE HER MONEY, I’M THOUSANDS IN DEBT, SHE CAN’T JUST DO THAT FOR ME

**carrierpidgeon:** okay then jeez calm down

**carrierpidgeon:** why don’t you ask mom and dad if their company has a position open

**mattata:** don’t you think i’ve tried that

**mattata:** that’s what i was banking on through college, but there’s been NOTHING

**mattata:** BECAUSE DAD’S GENERATION HAS ALL OF THE JOBS I’M APPLICABLE FOR

**mattata:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS THE REASON MILLENNIALS HATE EVERYTHING

**carrierpidgeon:** at least you’re not shiro?

**mattata:** i will take shiro’s dead-end restaurant job over this shithole any day

**carrierpidgeon:** but you have the better benefits and insurance

**mattata:** BUT THE WEIRDOS I DEAL WITH ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah, but you’re not a homeowner raising a teenager by yourself, trying to get him into college

**carrierpidgeon:** ...wow do you think this is why shiro’s depression gets super bad some days

**mattata:** pidge you are killing my mood, please change the subject

**mattata:** yes, it probably is, but please

**mattata:** so what have you been doing all day

**carrierpidgeon:** i beat my high score on this level of space defenders four times in the last two hours

**carrierpidgeon:** i wanted to hang out with the Teens™ but hunk and shay are off helping shay’s uncle with some project, and lance and keith are doing calculus, i think

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re probably actually just making out but i was told the plan was calculus

**mattata:** go visit shiro at the restaurant then

**carrierpidgeon:** dontcha think he’ll throw me out

**mattata:** not if you sit quietly and order some food so you’re not loitering

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m broke, i don’t get my cash flood until tomorrow

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean there’s money i have stashed but shhhh that’s for christmas gifts

**carrierpidgeon:** also, i have no means of getting there

**mattata:** don’t you have friends your own age to hang out with?

**carrierpidgeon:** ...sort of? ish? not really friends, just more like “kids i have class with that sometimes i text about homework”

**mattata:** what are you gonna do when hunay and klance go off to college next year

**carrierpidgeon:** :( i don’t know 

**carrierpidgeon:** maybe if i start doing extra coursework outside of school and work my ass off then i can graduate early

**carrierpidgeon:** even if it’s just one year

**mattata:** i have no doubt you’re capable, but why would you rush getting into college

**mattata:** why would you throw away your high school experiences

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t really like high school???? and i’m too smart for the kids in my grade

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m not exaggerating, i’m on track to be valedictorian

**carrierpidgeon:** i like schoolwork, i like math and science, all these other kids think i’m weird

**mattata:** come on, there’s no way you’re the only ultra-nerd in your class

**mattata:** and what are you gonna do when you join the workforce and have to deal with people you don’t like?

**mattata:** the only reason i get through work is because of my coworkers

**mattata:** i made friends

**mattata:** please make some friends

**carrierpidgeon:** ugh can that wait until next year when i actually have to

**mattata:** katieee

**carrierpidgeon:** fine, i’ll give it a go starting tomorrow

**carrierpidgeon:** there are a few girls in chem that i think might like me

**carrierpidgeon:** a couple boys too

**mattata:** THAT’S THE SPIRIT

**mattata:** and if you come home dating any one of them, run them by me shiro and allura first, mom and dad can wait

**carrierpidgeon:** at this point i’m probably just gonna marry a robot but aight

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** please come down to the restaurant before i jump into the dumpster outside and wait for the garbage guys to take me away

**kogayne:** i’m in the middle of teaching lance how to do derivatives with log functions, can this wait

**takashmeoutside:** keith i’m dying

**kogayne:** stop being so dramatic

**takashmeoutside:** we’re so dead today it’s not even funny, i don’t even know why i’m on the schedule, there are three of us here and it’s three too many

**kogayne:** chill out

**takashmeoutside:** keeeeeeeeeith please even just order some takeout and come pick it up

**kogayne:** no

**takashmeoutside:** fine i’ll just ask lance

**kogayne:** YOU ARE DISTRACTING HIM FROM LEARNING

**kogayne:** if he doesn’t pass calc then he doesn’t get into the garrison school at arus and then he might not even go to arus and then we can’t be roommates and we’ll both be depressed and our lives will be ruined forever

**kogayne:** do you want to ruin my life, granola bar

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH PLEASE, JUST TAKE A BREAK FOR A LITTLE WHILE, I’LL MAKE YOU GUYS SOME REALLY GOOD SAUSAGE AND PEPPER GRINDERS, PLEASE JUST COME DOWN HERE BEFORE I DIE OF SHEER BOREDOM

**kogayne:** you are so dramatic why are you being like this

**kogayne:** ...are you having a Day

**takashmeoutside:** no i’m just really fucking bored and you’re the only person i can text who has the ability to come down

**kogayne:** [long sigh] we’ll be there soon, i want extra sausages

**takashmeoutside:** you would

**kogayne:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** shiro’s demanding i come to the restaurant because he’s bored

**kogayne:** wanna come with me and lance

**carrierpidgeon:** YES PLEASE I’M SO BORED I HAVE NOTHING TO DO

**kogayne:** we’ll be over soon

**carrierpidgeon:** THANK YOU SO MUCH HOLY SHIT

**carrierpidgeon:** KEITH YOU’RE MY SAVIOR

**kogayne:** yeah yeah i know

 

**_hunkerdunker > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so your uncle’s coffee shop is gonna be right across the street...from where shiro works

**shayfromstatefarm:** wait what?

**hunkerdunker:** look out the window, look at who just parked on the side of the road

**shayfromstatefarm:** :O

**shayfromstatefarm:** whoa this is wild

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is almost like a cheesy fanfic scenario

**shayfromstatefarm:** next thing you know lance and keith apply for jobs here

**hunkerdunker:** it’s kinda sad tbh

**shayfromstatefarm:** ????

**hunkerdunker:** shiro has like 3 degrees in advanced fields and he works in a restaurant

**hunkerdunker:** he has so much potential and yet,

**shayfromstatefarm:** maybe we can convince him to quit over there and come work over here

**shayfromstatefarm:** omg let’s rope allura and matt into it and just make it all of us, make this a strictly family affair

**hunkerdunker:** aw we’re all your family?

**shayfromstatefarm:** HECK YEAH

**shayfromstatefarm:** i talk to my grandma all the time about you guys, she loves you guys

**shayfromstatefarm:** she’s still waiting on something homecooked from you

**hunkerdunker:** :D

**shayfromstatefarm:** “just so i can learn how to make it and do it better” 

**hunkerdunker:** D:

**shayfromstatefarm:** i feel like you and her would get along

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...i’m getting so many ideas for thanksgiving and christmas

**hunkerdunker:** does it involve combining our families and me and your grandma being the dream team in the kitchen

**shayfromstatefarm:** YES

**hunkerdunker:** SIGN ME UP I’M SO DOWN FOR THIS

**shayfromstatefarm:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I’M SO EXCITED i love thinking about the holidays, i get all warm and fuzzy inside and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i feel like i’m gonna explode

**hunkerdunker:** hold on i’m coming back to the front i’m coming armed with HUGS

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK HUGS ARE THE BEST HUGS

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** I’M FINALLY FREE

**allurable:** paperwork is exhausting, why did i go into law

**mattata:** “i’m gonna follow in my father’s footsteps and also there’s money here”

**takashmeoutside:** hey you’re doing better than matt and me

**takashmeoutside:** i had to literally /beg/ keith to show up at the restaurant, and he shows up with lance and pidge

**mattata:** oh good, pidge found something to do today, she was complaining that she was bored

**mattata:** so what are you all up to now

**takashmeoutside:** my shift doesn’t end for another two hours

**mattata:** lucky asshole, i’m not out for another three

**takashmeoutside:** sUCKS TO SUCK, HOLT

**mattata:** ...but /does it/

**takashmeoutside:** there are words i have typed and regret

**allurable:** okay cool, so i’ll go home for an hour, visit shiro for an hour, and then both of us can go harass matt for an hour

**allurable:** and then we can all go do something together

**takashmeoutside:** i propose we all nap together because i am dead

**mattata:** i wish i was dead

**takashmeoutside:** :(

**mattata:** in the Dramatic sense

**mattata:** did pidge tell you about condom guy

**allurable:** ...wait, is he the guy with the goatee and the greasy ponytail

**mattata:** wait how do you know

**allurable:** i was in the store like three weeks ago just minding my business and he asked me where to find some, bc i made the mistake of wearing red that day

**mattata:** ...OH MY GOD THEN...EW I’M CALLING MANAGEMENT 

**mattata:** HE ASKED ME TODAY WHERE TO FIND THEM AND THEN TOLD ME I’D “LOOK LIKE I’D KNOW” LIKE???

**takashmeoutside:** maybe bc you were wearing a target employee’s outfit

**mattata:** HE WINKED AT ME AFTER

**mattata:** i want to take a bath in holy water

**allurable:** HE WINKED AT ME TOO

**mattata:** WHO EVEN IS HE

**allurable:** I DON’T KNOW

**takashmeoutside:** call your fucking manager what the fuck???

**mattata:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OLIA BETTER COME THROUGH FOR ME, I’M NOT DEALING WITH THIS WEIRD FUCKER EVERY TIME HE WANTS TO DO THE DIRTY

**mattata:** ALLURA WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING SOONER

**allurable:** THERE WAS A LOT GOING ON THAT DAY, SHIRO WAS HAVING A DAY™ AND WE NEED TO HELP HIM

**takashmeoutside:** YOU STILL SHOULD’VE SAID SOMETHING

**allurable:** SHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU NEEDED REST NOT MORE STRESS

**allurable:** but honestly i was so taken aback like?? he looked like the kind of guy you’d find in the woods drunk at 2 AM screaming about the second amendment

**mattata:** H O N E S T L Y

**allurable:** like??? go shop at walmart??????

**mattata:** THANK YOU

**takashmeoutside:** part of me regrets quitting my target job after college and part of me is grateful

**takashmeoutside:** we all know i could use those employee benefits but honestly we don’t get people like that in the restaurant

**takashmeoutside:** ESPECIALLY TODAY WHEN THERE’S LITERALLY NO ONE IN THE RESTAURANT

**takashmeoutside:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** maybe you should like, consider going back to target? or getting a different job??

**mattata:** PLEASE COME BACK TO TARGET I’M SO LONELY AND THERE’S THIS GUY WE’RE ALL COVERTLY TRYING TO GET FIRED

**allurable:** ??? you’ve never told us this before

**mattata:** his name is sendak, we all call him sendick because he’s a dick

**takashmeoutside:** HE WORKED THERE WHEN I WAS STILL THERE, REMEMBER

**takashmeoutside:** HE HATED ME

**mattata:** HE HATED /US/

**mattata:** HE STILL HATES ME

**mattata:** AND HALF OF MY COWORKERS

**mattata:** ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, HE’S ONE STRIKE AWAY FROM GETTING FIRED

**allurable:** i know how we can get him fired

**mattata:** ...oh no

**allurable:** oh yes

**takashmeoutside:** if i end up in the police station allura i swear

**allurable:** SUMMON KLANCE.

 

 ** _allurable_** _added_ ** _lanceylance_** _,_ ** _kogayne_** _,_ ** _mattata_** _,_ _and_ ** _takashmeoutside_** _to_ ** _Operation: Fire Sendak_**

**kogayne:** WE JUST GOT BACK TO CALCULUS ARE YOU KIDDING ME

**lanceylance:** HI ALLURA WHAT’S UP PLEASE SAVE ME FROM DERIVATIVE HELL

**allurable:** what are you two doing after school tomorrow?

**lanceylance:** uhhh there’s no gsa...keith, you have anything going on?

**kogayne:** the group chat name makes me very tempted to lie

**kogayne:** but no, i’m free, why

**mattata:** we’re trying to get shiro out of his restaurant job and back at target, but we need an open position first, and there’s an asshole here one incident away from being fired

**kogayne:** oh, sendak

**kogayne:** the name of the guy in the group chat

**kogayne:** aka the same guy who told me when i was 14 that i’d never get a girlfriend after he caught me looking at some cryptid books

**kogayne:** joke’s on him but anyway yeah he’s an asshole

**lanceylance:** ntrentjrejfwne you were out when you were 14, weren’t you

**kogayne:** yeah i was, couldn’t he smell the homosexual radiating off of me

**takashmeoutside:** why are you like this

**kogayne:** i’m really fucking gay for lance

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** that’s why you added me and lance here, isn’t it

**allurable:** you two are the biggest troublemakers we know, we need you to find a way to make sendak angry enough to wrongfully explode

**kogayne:** ah

**lanceylance:** EXCUSE YOU I AM SO RESPONSIBLE

**kogayne:** you took a sword from the halloween section and tried to fight paul, and then almost got stuck in a freezer

**lanceylance:** ...so yeah anyway i can be of assistance

**allurable:** GREAT! all you need to do is show up to target tomorrow during matt’s shift and be obnoxious!!

**lanceylance:** make out with keith in as many disgusting ways as possible, got it

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** OR we can sword fight, there’s gotta be lightsabers in the toy section, the last jedi is coming

**lanceylance:** hey keith wanna go on a date when the last jedi comes out

**kogayne:** yeah but idk if we should go to the midnight screening, it’s gonna be packed and i don’t like crowds

**lanceylance:** that’s fine, but we’re seeing it before it’s out of theaters

**kogayne:** oh of course

**lanceylance:** anyway, lightsaber fight?

**kogayne:** dibs on sith

**lanceylance:** you’d be such a hot sith ngl

**takashmeoutside:** I REGRET THIS GROUP CHAT

**mattata:** ah, young love

**lanceylance:** if i can’t flirt and make him flustered every day for the rest of our lives and let him know how much i adore him

**lanceylance:** tHEN WHAT, PRAY TELL, IS THE /FUCKING POINT/

**takashmeoutside:** YOU ARE LITERALLY IN THE SAME ROOM, /TALK TO HIM/

**kogayne:** oh he is

**lanceylance:** keith is so red right now like

**takashmeoutside:** LANCE

**allurable:** shhhh children thank you for your time, go back to calculus now

**lanceylance:** ahhh, tomorrow’s gonna be such a big day

**lanceylance:** the dramatic reveal, getting sendak fired, spending time being obnoxiously in love with keith, i’m so hyped

**kogayne:** sorry what was that third one

**kogayne:** didn’t hear it

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna cuddle the shit out of you in front of everyone tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** [throwing tangent lines and third derivatives] BE GONE, THOT

**lanceylance:** FIGHT ME SHIRO

**kogayne:** okay starboy, let’s get back into it, you have log functions waiting

**lanceylance:** remember me as i once was, a free-spirited, beautiful soul

**lanceylance:** because calc is gonna fUCKING KILL ME

**kogayne:** smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psssssst
> 
> if you're reading the [deceit so natural](http://archiveofourown.org/series/767406) trilogy, [stars go down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/26462739) FINALLY updated last night :)
> 
>  **...what do you mean you're not reading the[deceit so natural](http://archiveofourown.org/series/767406) trilogy?**  
>  it's got klance, team voltron shenanigans, all that good Angst, but also Fluff, that sweet sweet Team as Family dynamic, lotor in freeform bc i started the trilogy before season 3, and so much more!!  
> start here >>>>>> [where people go to die](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539)
> 
> anyway, i dunno if the next chapter of this thing is gonna be long or not...guess we'll find out tomorrow :)


	46. the reveal and other stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 3:11 AM as of me posting this chapter SOS also this chapter's mood and tone are all over the place bc i'm pmsing hardcore SEND HELP I AM DYING

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** TODAY’S THE DAY, MY BOYFRIEND AND I ARE ABOUT TO MAKE FOOLS OF HALF THE SCHOOL

**lanceylance:** AY PIDGEOTTO, YOU GOT THE CAMERA READY???

**carrierpidgeon:** currently chilling out right inside near the main entrance, ready whenever you are

**carrierpidgeon:** this place is pretty crowded, i think i saw paul somewhere

**lanceylance:** EXCELLENT

**kogayne:** these coffees make us look like douchebags

**carrierpidgeon:** aesthetic

**lanceylance:** alright, we’re leaving my car now

**kogayne:** pidge, roll camera

**carrierpidgeon:** roger 

**mattata:** hunk or shay can one of you please live-text these events

**shayfromstatefarm:** doors opening

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s them, hand-in-hand

**hunkerdunker:** strolling in, aaaaaaaaaand…………….

**hunkerdunker:** no one is saying anything, how anti-climactic

**hunkerdunker:** i lied some girl just gasped and shrieked “THEY’RE STILL TOGETHER?!”

**shayfromstatefarm:** people are already exchanging money, i can’t believe

**hunkerdunker:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here comes paul

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh shit, lance’s arm went for the shoulder, keith went for the waist

**hunkerdunker:** lance is doing the Intimidating Lean and the Eyebrow Lift, keith has settled for the Brood

**allurable:** AH, THEIR BONNIE AND CLYDE POSE

**takashmeoutside:** did bonnie and clyde ever actually pose like that

**allurable:** probably not but that’s what i call it

**hunkerdunker:** GUYS LANCE IS NOT HOLDING BACK WITH WORDS HERE

**hunkerdunker:** PAUL IS SO SHOOK RIGHT NOW

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is probably going to come back and bite him at some point but at the moment he’s never looked more dead and alive at the same time

**mattata:** PLEASE tell me pidge is getting this all on camera

**hunkerdunker:** yes she is

**hunkerdunker:** aaaand warning bell, off to class

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** i have never felt more of a rush than i did in those moments

**lanceylance:** should i feel dizzy

**allurable:** um no??

**lanceylance:** shay is right this is so going to come back later

**kogayne:** doesn’t matter, you just told him off in front of the whole school

**kogayne:** it was pretty hot if i’m being honest

**carrierpidgeon:** WHO WANTS THE VIDEO

**mattata:** SEND IT

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**takashmeoutside:** damn

**allurable:** lance did NOT MINCE WORDS

**kogayne:** that’s my boyfriend, i’m so proud of him :)

**takashmeoutside:** keith is a bad influence that’s it we need to stage an intervention

**lanceylance:** um did you not watch that video

**lanceylance:** never talk to me or my husband ever again

**kogayne:** :) :) :)

**kogayne:** bye shiro

**takashmeoutside:** BOI

**takashmeoutside:** remember whose house you live in

**kogayne:** lance will take me in if he has to

**lanceylance:** im watching you, shirogane

**takashmeoutside:** :O

**kogayne:** besides i’m 18

**takashmeoutside:** boi don’t test me

**kogayne:** i do what i want

**takashmeoutside:** pay attention in class??????????????

**kogayne:** I DO WHAT I WANT

**carrierpidgeon:** i stg if lance says something that keith immediately agrees to

**lanceylance:** ...WELL NOT ANYMORE

**shayfromstatefarm:** LET LANCE BE A GOOD INFLUENCE

**shayfromstatefarm:** go ahead lance

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU, SHAY

**lanceylance:** KEITH PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN LET’S DO THIS MBTI STUFF SHALL WE

**hunkerdunker:** WE’RE DOING MBTI STUFF IN PSYCH??

**lanceylance:** hell yeah, today we’re predicting what our type is gonna be and tomorrow we’re spending the whole period taking quizzes

**kogayne:** antok is teaching it in the basic way

**kogayne:** like “are you an introvert or extrovert, are you a sensor or feeler” but i /really/ hope he gets into the cognitive functions later on this week

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE YOU ON YOUR you know what i give up

**kogayne:** >:)

**carrierpidgeon:** ANTOK’S DOING IT THE WRONG WAY ARE YOU SHITTING ME

**kogayne:** and i mean, even the personality tests we take won’t be 100% accurate, but whatever

**kogayne:** and now that shiro has admitted defeat i’ll see y’all after class

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT THE SHIT

**mattata:** he even pulled out southern keith

**lanceylance:** (you’re welcome shiro  >;) )

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe

**takashmeoutside:** no scratch that, i can believe they’d double-team me like that, they already played the whole school

**lanceylance:** >;))))) see y’all after psych

**allurable:** ...is that...southern lance…

**mattata:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** what the fuck did we just witness

**takashmeoutside:** i feel like we’ve entered an alternate universe

**allurable:** you know those places where reality feels slightly distorted

**mattata:** like a highway rest stop

**takashmeoutside:** my room at 5 AM

**carrierpidgeon:** playgrounds at night

**shayfromstatefarm:** galleries in art museums that are empty except for you

**hunkerdunker:** bowling alleys

**allurable:** REGFJRTESHRN YOU HEATHENS I’M GETTING CHILLS BUT ANYWAY YES, THIS FEELS LIKE /THAT/

**takashmeoutside:** what is /happening/

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** SO I KNOW WE JUST SAW EACH OTHER LAST PERIOD BUT I’M FREAKING OUT

**kogayne:** what’s wrong???

**lanceylance:** IT SORT OF JUST HIT ME THAT WE REALLY DID THAT

**lanceylance:** WELL LIKE, I DID THAT

**lanceylance:** I TOLD OFF PAUL AND IT’S GONNA COME BACK AND BITE US IN THE ASS

**lanceylance:** I DIDN’T THINK IT THROUGH IT JUST KINDA HAPPENED AND

**kogayne:** hey hey hey it’s alright, it’s alright

**lanceylance:** [deep breath]

**kogayne:** that’s it

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** that’s not it

**kogayne:** listen, personally, i think shay was wrong, i don’t think this is gonna come back and bite us

**kogayne:** we made our point in front of everyone

**kogayne:** i don’t think paul and co will be trying any shit any time soon

**kogayne:** and if they do then they’re gonna be after /both of us/ and you know i’ve always got your back

**kogayne:** literally and figuratively

**lanceylance:** are you sure????????????

**kogayne:** not 100% but i’m not sweating it

**kogayne:** we did what we had to do

**kogayne:** someone had to put him in his place, it just happened to be us

**lanceylance:** i just

**lanceylance:** i don’t want him going after you

**kogayne:** you’d think he’d stop going after me by now

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** it’s alright, i can handle him

**kogayne:** granted i don’t end up in zarkon’s office again, but with this whole investigation, i’m,,, not as worried as i was, say, a month ago

**kogayne:** besides, i’ve got you with me, right? :)

**lanceylance:** :)

**lanceylance:** you make me feel braver, you know

**lanceylance:** i don’t think i would’ve been able to tell him off if you weren’t there

**kogayne:** you’re plenty brave on your own

**lanceylance:** well, then you help to bring it out

**lanceylance:** i’m so glad i have you

**kogayne:** me too

**kogayne:** i love you

**lanceylance:** :) love you too babe~ ;)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s third period and

**carrierpidgeon:** i have made

**carrierpidgeon:** $842 dollars

**allurable:** 842 dollars dollars

**carrierpidgeon:** shut up

**allurable:** grounded

**carrierpidgeon:** you can’t tell me what to do

**takashmeoutside:** smh she’s spent too much time with keith

**lanceylance:** I HEARD KEITH I’M HERE

**lanceylance:** ...where’s my boyfriend

**takashmeoutside:** hopefully doing calculus so he can teach it to you later

**lanceylance:** ahhh, ryner’s class

**lanceylance:** i fucking hate that class

**lanceylance:** also can someone tell paul to stop staring at me, it’s weird

**kogayne:** I HEARD LANCE IN DISTRESS

**takashmeoutside:** honestly what the fuck

**kogayne:** SHOULD I COME DOWN TO THACE’S CLASS AND MAKE A POINT

**lanceylance:** no, thace is giving me the look like “don’t you dare have kogane come into this room /again/ mcclain i heard about your shenanigans”

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...those are a lot of words to gather from just one look

**lanceylance:** i may be exaggerating

**hunkerdunker:** that seems more accurate

**kogayne:** /please/ i’m one of thace’s favorite students, and we’ll never be as bad as shiro and matt were

**kogayne:** we’ve only ever /cuddled/ in a wood closet

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH DO NOT FINISH THAT THOUGHT

**kogayne:** MEANWHILE MATT AND SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**mattata:** ;))))))

**takashmeoutside:** what is with everyone today

**takashmeoutside:** asking for real

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m getting rich

**carrierpidgeon:** watch out tangerine man, i’m coming for you

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE THE TEENS™ ACTING LIKE THIS

**mattata:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** hormones

**takashmeoutside:** they’re acting weirder than usual

**takashmeoutside:** i am their father and i am Confused

**mattata:** it must be bad, you’ve accepted that you’re their dad

**mattata:** thus, i must accept my role as Daddy

**allurable:** and i guess it’s time to be mom

**allurable:** but before we jump back into the main chat, let’s think about this

**allurable:** root causes, who’s actually acting out

**mattata:** hunk and shay seem to be acting pretty normal

**allurable:** pidge is getting money, she thinks she’s invincible

**mattata:** it also might be Glittery Florida Time

**allurable:** ah

**takashmeoutside:** what

_ (1) video from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** reference to this

**takashmeoutside:** ah

**takashmeoutside:** as long as i’ve known her, she’s never called it that

**mattata:** i told allura about it once while she was watching pidge, i forget what we were busy with

**takashmeoutside:** well, that clears that up

**takashmeoutside:** back to the topic at hand

**allurable:** lance and keith had the confrontation this morning, i’m willing to put money on that being the root cause of their...strangeness

**takashmeoutside:** okay so then here’s the plan

**allurable:** you haven’t been authoritative in 500 years, i’m impressed

**mattata:** i’m more than impressed ;)))))

**takashmeoutside:** this is why we can’t have nice things

**takashmeoutside:** allura, you see what’s up with lance, matt you take pidge, and i’ll take keith

**mattata:** ugh i have to text the Gremlin

**mattata:** time to see how much money i can get out of her

 

**_mattata > carrierpidgeon_ **

**mattata:** HELLO DEAREST SISTER OF MINE, WHY ARE YOU KEITH AND LANCE BEING FUCKING WEIRD

**carrierpidgeon:** that wasn’t subtle at all

**carrierpidgeon:** idk why you think i’m being weird, this is normal

**carrierpidgeon:** also, you’ll get like, 10% of whatever cash i make bc i’m making BANK 

**mattata:** is there glitter in miami

**carrierpidgeon:** ...maybe

**mattata:** thought so

**mattata:** you’re never nice to me without me prompting

**carrierpidgeon:** excuse me yes i am i’m the best sister

**mattata:** whatever helps you sleep at night kiddo

**carrierpidgeon:** >:| your cut is getting reduced to 5%

**mattata:** GREMLIN

**carrierpidgeon:** could be worse, i could make it some awful number like 7%

**mattata:** THAT’S NOT SIMPLE MATH YOU STOP THAT

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU’RE A NERD DO THE NERD CALCULATIONS NERD

**mattata:** YOU’RE A NERD TOO WTF

**carrierpidgeon:** YEAH SO I CAN CALL EM WHEN I SEE EM HAVE FUN WITH 7% TITAN

 

**_allurable > lanceylance_ **

**allurable:** is everything okay

**lanceylance:** ….what’s this about

**allurable:** you’ve been acting weird today

**allurable:** like, not-yourself weird

**allurable:** more so than usual

**lanceylance:** i’m kinda on edge

**lanceylance:** and regretting this morning

**lanceylance:** just overthinking as usual

**allurable:** :(

**allurable:** why

**lanceylance:** i feel like paul’s gonna retaliate and it’s gonna be worse than ever before and he’s gonna target keith and keith is gonna end up having a panic attack or breakdown

**lanceylance:** so Bravado Lance is just,,, here to lighten things

**lanceylance:** and also i’m trying not to crack in front of everyone else at school, this is the most badass i’ve ever been

**allurable:** lance don’t sacrifice your well-being for a temporary facade

**allurable:** have you talked to keith??

**lanceylance:** he’s the first person i talked to

**lanceylance:** he said he’s not sweating it so realistically i shouldn’t be either but :(((((( i’m worried about him like all the time

**allurable:** it’s okay

**allurable:** it’s natural to want to protect him

**allurable:** if he isn’t worried, you shouldn’t be either, but seeing as you are, try to channel your anxious energy into something positive

**allurable:** ...besides sassing shiro

**lanceylance:** i’ll do my best

**lanceylance:** thanks allura

**allurable:** any time

**allurable:** if you wanna talk i’m here

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so,

**kogayne:** i’m still riding the high of us telling off paul and watching him look as though someone just shoved him off a cliff and flipped him the bird as he fell

**takashmeoutside:** ...keith what the /fuck/

**kogayne:** and now lance is anxious and watching him be anxious is like watching a puppy cry and i don’t like it

**takashmeoutside:** care to elaborate

**kogayne:** he’s worried that crusty fucker is gonna come at me again

**kogayne:** SHIRO I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH WHY CAN’T HE SEE THAT

**takashmeoutside:** he loves you just as much, that’s why he’s anxious

**takashmeoutside:** have you actually /talked/ to him about it

**kogayne:** YES I TRIED AND I THINK HE’S STILL NERVOUS

**kogayne:** and also,,, sorry for sassing you earlier

**kogayne:** i still need you

**kogayne:** please don’t actually take me up on my challenge to kick me out of the house

**takashmeoutside:** ??? i wasn’t going to??

**takashmeoutside:** i knew you were exaggerating, relax

**takashmeoutside:** i’d never kick you out, no matter how insufferable you are some days

**kogayne:** hhhhhhhh

**takashmeoutside:** shhh shh it’s okay, take some deep breaths

**takashmeoutside:** where are you now

**kogayne:** fourth period started like ten minutes ago, i’m with thace

**takashmeoutside:** okay, you pay attention in class, and relax

**takashmeoutside:** lance’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, we’ll be fine, everything’ll be fine

**takashmeoutside:** why don’t you start thinking about later, and about getting sendak fired

**kogayne:** ...THAT’S TODAY

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY I CAN DO THAT, AT LUNCH I’LL TALK TO LANCE

**takashmeoutside:** you do that

**kogayne:** i will

**kogayne:** thanks shiro

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > hunkerdunker_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** so they’re very enthusiastic about taking down sendak

**shayfromstatefarm:** when’s a good time to tell them about the coffee shop

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ up to you

**hunkerdunker:** the real question is: do we do it before or after sendak gets fired

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’re going to run a man out of a job

**hunkerdunker:** yeah but sendak is awful

**shayfromstatefarm:** he still probably has bills to pay

**shayfromstatefarm:** not to mention he could always sue for wrongful termination

**hunkerdunker:** ...yeah we better tell them now

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** everyone, i’ve got an announcement to make

**lanceylance:** ARE YOU AND HUNK FINALLY ENGAGED

**hunkerdunker:** we’re both 17 slow down

**hunkerdunker:** we’re taking this one day at a time

**shayfromstatefarm:** no, anyway,

**shayfromstatefarm:** those of you unemployed or looking for a new job might want to pay attention

**kogayne:** …?

**shayfromstatefarm:** so as you know, yesterday, hunk and i were helping my uncle with a project

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s opening a coffee shop called Balmera Beans, and he’s looking for employees

**shayfromstatefarm:** if we get enough people, schedules can be as flexible as need be

**shayfromstatefarm:** and we’d be keeping it within a familial circle, instead of having to draw on the public

**takashmeoutside:** YOUR UNCLE OWNS THE COFFEE SHOP ACROSS FROM MY SHITTY JOB

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**shayfromstatefarm:** and i’ve been looking at employee benefits,,,, they’re not bad

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i need to get a job there

**kogayne:** i swore up and down i’d never do customer service but if it’s for shay’s family i’ll do it

**lanceylance:** ????? where’d this sudden fire come from

**kogayne:** well i mean i got all hyped to take down sendak but then shay brought up employee benefits and ????

**kogayne:** i was talking to shiro earlier about how i didn’t want him to take me up on the challenge to kick me out of the house

**kogayne:** and i got thinking about how shiro wanted us to get sendak fired so he could get a job at target for better pay and benefits

**lanceylance:** and

**kogayne:** ...i am a financial burden, i’ll put it out there

**kogayne:** i’m not gonna make shiro help me pay for college

**kogayne:** ….i need to start those scholarship essays sHIT ANYWAY

**kogayne:** i live under his roof and ???????? his job doesn’t pay him /that/ well

**kogayne:** we’ve only made it this far because of the will, but that’s gonna run out eventually

**kogayne:** i need a job, i’ve been freeloading for years and nOW I FEEL BAD THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT

**lanceylance:** i’m sure shiro doesn’t hold anything against you, if it’s any consolation

**lanceylance:** you’re taking what, five ap classes? and have multiple clubs to attend to? and somehow you’re gonna be valedictorian?

**lanceylance:** i’m sure he understands

**kogayne:** i need this job, lance

**lanceylance:** i’ll apply with you, and hope for the best

**lanceylance:** i mean, i have a feeling we’ll both get hired, there’s probably nothing to worry about there

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** yep, that’s it, let it all out before physics

**kogayne:** it’s study hall, can i nap on you

**kogayne:** i really need a nap

**kogayne:** rest

**kogayne:** anything to simulate the sweet release of death

**lanceylance:** ,,,babe,

**kogayne:** i know

**lanceylance:** yeah, of course you can nap on me, let me be your pillow, but pls,,,,,,,, don’t die i need you

**kogayne:** fine i won’t

**kogayne:** not yet

**lanceylance:** you’re forbidden

**kogayne:** fine

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**mattata:** i’m already employed, thanks for the offer tho

**carrierpidgeon:** MY BIRTHDAY’S NOT TILL APRIL, PLEASE 

**shayfromstatefarm:** we don’t open until december

**shayfromstatefarm:** when holiday shopping season is booming and people are in need of something warm

**shayfromstatefarm:** even so, i imagine we’ll be needing employees come april

**takashmeoutside:** ,,,,AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** i’ll take up your offer

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ll get you an application tomorrow!!

**lanceylance:** count me in

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^^^

**allurable:** ah, the kids are growing up

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge, we can start you now, we just have to limit your hours

**carrierpidgeon:** OH WORM??? SLIDE ME THAT APP

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**takashmeoutside:** shay, thank you for the offer, but i’m still going to look into target

**shayfromstatefarm:** that’s fine!! if that falls through, just text!!!

**mattata:** HELL YEAH MY BOYFRIEND’S GONNA GET MY ASSHOLE COWORKER FIRED SO HE CAN COME WORK WITH MEEEEE

**takashmeoutside:** lance, keith, you still up for tonight??

**takashmeoutside:** ...lance, keith??

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** they’re both knocked out

**allurable:** SLEEP DEPRIVATION, THAT’S WHAT IT WAS!

**takashmeoutside:** that would explain a lot

**hunkerdunker:** now you see what shay and i put up with on a daily basis

**shayfromstatefarm:** seriously they need to start sleeping more

**takashmeoutside:** remind me to harass keith about it later

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i’m in position, nobody sees me through this rack of star wars onesies

**lanceylance:** ooh we should buy some, i’ll be r2 and you can be chewbacca

**kogayne:** you fuckin furry 

**lanceylance:** :O

**kogayne:** anyway, are you in position

**lanceylance:** yes sirree

**kogayne:** is sendak coming

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmm as far as i can see he’s still going through the racks

**lanceylance:** AH HERE HE COMES

**kogayne:** if we get banned from here and have to go to riverside from now on, we’re blaming shiro

**lanceylance:** yes absolutely

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT, HERE GOES NOTHING

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so what’s the verdict here, is sendak fired, is shiro hired, are you guys banned

**kogayne:** sendak is not fired

**kogayne:** and we are one warning away from being banned

**lanceylance:** HOWEVER

**lanceylance:** another employee, apparently at her “wit’s end” because of “fucking teenagers these days,” quit

**lanceylance:** shiro applied

**takashmeoutside:** waiting on a response

**mattata:** he’s gonna get hired i can feel it

**carrierpidgeon:** so what do i have to do to get lance and keith banned

**kogayne:** pidge what the fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t talk to me, peasant

**lanceylance:** i’m having visceral flashbacks to 2012 tumblr, make it stop

**shayfromstatefarm:** i take it you finished counting your money

**carrierpidgeon:** $1569 dollars, 7% of which goes to matt, so that’s,,,,

**carrierpidgeon:** $109.83 for matt and $1459.17 for me

**hunkerdunker:** remember when your lowest estimate was like, 700

**hunkerdunker:** you’ve made double, how do you feel

**carrierpidgeon:** fantastic tbh

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**dinezor:** i was just at target and i saw the wildest thing

**dinezor:** lance and keith were there and got into a massive lightsaber battle, it was pretty impressive

**zethridofmyproblems:** who won

**dinezor:** keith

**dinezor:** lance held his own for a while but keith was doing all these cool moves and he’s better in general and i think lance got flustered

**dinezor:** kinda like when i look at acxa doing anything ever

**acxalutelynot:** :|

**dinezor:** ALSO, GUESS WHO CALLED IT, THOSE FUCKERS STAGED IT

**acxalutelynot:** yes, you were right, stop rubbing it in

**sippinganartini:** i heard that the small holt made like, $1500 

**zethridofmyproblems:** yeah, someone at my lunch table was out like, $60

**lotoreal:** i heard paul morvok hasn’t taken it well

**acxalutelynot:** can we go one day without bringing down the mood

**lotoreal:** just saying

**lotoreal:** i overheard him on my way out of school today, he’s not pleased that he’s been played

**dinezor:** isn’t he friends with those two kids lance and keith dated before???? that kid named after the candy and whatever his girlfriend’s name is??

**dinezor:** because i saw them in the hall today, they looked pretty pissed

**acxalutelynot:** can we just like, stay out of affairs that have nothing to do with us

**sippinganartini:** yes, i agree

**lotoreal:** we have an alliance, acxa. a deal’s a deal.

**acxalutelynot:** they don’t even /want/ the alliance i think they just said yes out of pity

**lotoreal:** whether or not you’re with me, i’m going to monitor the situation

 

**_dinezor > acxalutelynot_ **

**dinezor:** for a guy who said he didn’t want friendship with those guys, lotor’s sure trying hard to be their friend

**acxalutelynot:** “mutual agreement of protection and an open, amicable flow of information!! but not friendship!!”

**dinezor:** smh 

**dinezor:** i still don’t know how we ended up friends with him

**acxalutelynot:** some days i wonder how we’ve made it this far

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** gnight starlight

**kogayne:** gnight starboy

**lanceylance:** i love you and you’re not a burden on anyone so i hope you go to bed knowing how much you mean to me

**lanceylance:** my life would suck without you i love you with all my heart

**kogayne:** why are you trying to make me cry before i go to sleep you asshole

**lanceylance:** wipe the tears on your face they’ll clean your pores, trust me it works

**kogayne:** L A N C E  WTF

**lanceylance:** :) GOOD NIGHT 

**kogayne:** i love you too, don’t put yourself down and beat yourself up over things you can’t undo, the past is in the past and we can only move forward, and in our case we’ll be moving forward together, don’t you ever forget that

**lanceylance:** YOU DICK

**kogayne:** PAYBACK

**lanceylance:** <3

**kogayne:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter contains my/my friend's personal myers-briggs typing for the paladins don't @ us we tried our best


	47. the squad takes the mbti test and other shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's exactly what the title says

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i typed the paladins and by that i mean i talked with my friend beatrice about it and consulted the internet and did some light reading to see what best fit everyone in my personal opinion. also these are going by the show, and not necessarily their personalities in this fanfic, so pls don't come at me if u disagree. (shay, matt, and allura were the hardest to type, i feel like u could give shay anything and make a decent argument, but anyway)
> 
> here's the chapter, it's 3:22 i'm going to bed

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning sunshine!!

**kogayne:** you’re in a good mood

**lanceylance:** i had a dream and you were there and we were in space on a date in a space mall, it was great

**lanceylance:** until you found a knife shop and got into a fight with the owner because he tried to swindle you and you weren’t having it, and we got chased out by security

**kogayne:** ...you know what, as long as you’re happy this morning

**lanceylance:** we should go on a date soon

**kogayne:** saaaaaaturday? when the girls are at the mall? 

**kogayne:** unless you had something in miiiind?

**lanceylance:** :O YOU WANNA DO AN ESCAPE ROOM, JUST YOU AND ME??

**kogayne:** let’s do it

**kogayne:** is there a space-themed one

**lanceylance:** ...MAYBE

**kogayne:** you wanna do it, don’t you

**lanceylance:** I’VE HAD MY EYE ON IT SINCE THE LAST TIME WE WENT TO THE MALL AND HONESTLY I’VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER TO ASK YOU BUT I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN’T WANNA DO IT

**kogayne:** we both like space

**lanceylance:** YEAH BUT I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D WANNA DO AN ESCAPE ROOM I MEAN EVENTUALLY I GOT OVER IT BUT ANYWAY YEAH LET’S DO IT SATURDAY

**kogayne:** imagine if we run into the girls

**lanceylance:** dfersisdjgrejddksjh we’ll have to avoid them, i don’t want them thinking we’re stalking them

**lanceylance:** anyway do you want coffee

**kogayne:** yeah, can you pick me up before you go and we can go together

**lanceylance:** sure!!

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

_ (1) link from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** IT’S MYERS-BRIGGS DAY FUCKERS

**lanceylance:** TAKE THIS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU GET

**carrierpidgeon:** ooh, new info for the spreadsheet

**takashmeoutside:** for the what

**carrierpidgeon:** ...nothing

**mattata:** for the /what/

**kogayne:** you saw nothing

**takashmeoutside:** wh

**takashmeoutside:** YOU KNOW WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT?

**kogayne:** uhh no

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**kogayne:** ;)

**lanceylance:** don’t question it, i find it better that way

**lanceylance:** anyway shut up and take the quiz

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m an intp, i’ve known that for a while

**carrierpidgeon:** i tried to type all of you but obviously results directly from yourselves would be best

**carrierpidgeon:** also take multiple tests, do some reading:

_ (3) links from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**allurable:** oh boy

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**kogayne:** i’m an isfp, apparently

**carrierpidgeon:** i can see it

**lanceylance:** i’m an esfp!!!

**mattata:** you’re like the same person but one of you is an introvert

**carrierpidgeon:** NO THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT COGNITIVE STACK SHUT UP MATT

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean yeah okay they are pretty similar but their cognitive stacks are DIFFERENT

**kogayne:** close enough ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** what’s everyone else’s type come on you slowpokes

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah come on i wanna psychoanalyze everyone

**takashmeoutside:** infj

**carrierpidgeon:** of course shiro, perfectionistic little shit, gets the rarest type

**mattata:** hey i’m an enfj

**shayfromstatefarm:** leave it to the broganes to match almost completely with at least one s/o

**shayfromstatefarm:** also i’m an infp

**allurable:** yike i’m an estj, complete opposite

**hunkerdunker:** i’m almost the same as allura, i’m an esfj

**carrierpidgeon:** my complete opposite, how are we friends

**hunkerdunker:** i dunno man

**carrierpidgeon:** cool i’ve recorded all your responses and i’m spending the rest of the day in mbti hell

**hunkerdunker:** have fun

**kogayne:** send me any interesting stuff you find about me

**lanceylance:** let me know whether or not keith and i are compatible

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re compatible just shush

**kogayne:** you’re not going anywhere mcclain

**lanceylance:** um yes i am, that was the bell, i’m now going to spanish, goodbye kogane

**kogayne:** >:O

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTIN G ME 

**kogayne:** they,,,, they changed the show

**lanceylance:** THIS IS NOT THE SHOW I AUDITIONED FOR

**carrierpidgeon:** what happened?? my class was screaming i didn’t hear that announcement

**hunkerdunker:** i’m afraid to go to english now and sit in the same room as lance, that’s what happened

**lanceylance:** I COULD HAVE NAILED A COSTAZUELA BROTHER AND THEY GO AND CHANGE THE DMAN SHOEON WME

**kogayne:** why the /fuck/ did they change the show

**lanceylance:** I’M HEADED TO THE OFFICE TO FIND OUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** do you really think the administration is going to tell you anything

**lanceylance:** NO BUT I’M TRYING ANYWAY

**allurable:** what? what did they change the show to?

**hunkerdunker:** it’s called Midsummer/Jersey

**shayfromstatefarm:** a hybrid of jersey shore and a midsummer night’s dream

**kogayne:** i looked up the cast and script, how did this get approved

**kogayne:** one of lance’s first lines is gonna be “good pubic speaker”

**hunkerdunker:** they haven’t posted the cast list

**kogayne:** come on we all know lance is gonna get the lead, the lead is literally Bravado Lance

**kogayne:** and his love interest,,,, 

**kogayne:** their relationship is kinda like me and lance only slightly unhealthier and a lot weirder, but just as intense

**hunkerdunker:** but we /already had callbacks for the odd couple, why did they change it/

**lanceylance:** HI, THE OFFICE WON’T TELL ME HOW OR WHY, BUT SOMEHOW WE LOST THE RIGHTS TO THE ODD COUPLE, WHICH IS WHY THIS CAST LIST GOT DELAYED

**lanceylance:** SO THEY HAD TO SCRAMBLE TO FIND A NEW SHOW FOR US TO PUT ON, WHICH HAPPENS TO BE THIS ONE

**lanceylance:** also, keith, thank you for the vote of confidence

**kogayne:** of course

**lanceylance:** but /how am i supposed to pretend to like someone the way i like keith/

**shayfromstatefarm:** well before the lead was gonna be either plax, nyma, or ezor, and now that nyma is banned from the drama club,,,

**kogayne:** plax shouldn’t be too hard?? and i mean, you and ezor could probably make it work even tho she’s gay as hell

**mattata:** i just opened the group chat, what the fuck

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** mood.jpeg

**lanceylance:** WAY TO KILL MY GOOD MOOD, SCHOOL

**lanceylance:** I WAS ALL SET FOR THE ODD COUPLE AND THEN THIS SHIT HAPPENS

**shayfromstatefarm:** this could still be a good show

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s got enough pop-culture references to keep the audience entertained for a while

**shayfromstatefarm:** and i mean, it’s pretty wild

**hunkerdunker:** like shrek 2 but not

**mattata:** i’m reading through the script bc i got curious and yES HUNK

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I KNOW, I’M JUST IRRITATED, THIS IS NOT WHAT I AUDITIONED FOR, I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** so, the administration is a mess, as per the usual.

**dinezor:** “it was out of our hands” mmm okay sure i definitely believe that

**acxalutelynot:** so any idea what part you’re getting now?

**dinezor:** probably one of the two lead girls, which means i’ll probably have to kiss lance at some point, so that should be fun

**zethridofmyproblems:** “fun”

**dinezor:** who knows, maybe the whole experience will make us become real friends

**sippinganartini:** will it really though

**dinezor:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ worth a shot amiright acxa

**acxalutelynot:** whatever you say, ez

**dinezor:** how much do i have to pay someone to do the kissing scenes /for me/

**zethridofmyproblems:** you’re an actress, you have to pretend to like them

**dinezor:** read: i have to pretend not to be gagging as i continue the rest of the scene

**acxalutelynot:** i mean, it won’t be completely terrible, lance will be just as uncomfortable

**zethridofmyproblems:** bond over mutual discomfort

**zethridofmyproblems:** and acxa and keith can bond over having to watch you two kiss

**lotoreal:** the question is: would kogane /want/ to?

**dinezor:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ WORTH A SHOT

 

 ** _dinezor_** _added_ ** _acxalutelynot_** _,_ ** _zethridofmyproblems_** _,_ _and_ ** _sippinganartini to Let’s Go GNO_**

**dinezor:** i’m making a separate group chat for us hi hello

**sippinganartini:** i’m not complaining, but why?

**dinezor:** bc lotor’s jealous that keith won’t be his friend and it’s getting annoying

**zethridofmyproblems:** even though he told keith he didn’t wanna be friends

**sippinganartini:** true, he /is/ annoying in that respect

**dinezor:** honestly we need to stage an intervention

**dinezor:** make him and keith talk it out and be friends

**acxalutelynot:** they need to find a common ground and learn that they’re not out to get each other

**dinezor:** lotor could maybe stop implying keith is like, an awful person

**sippinganartini:** ?????

**dinezor:** lotor showed me some texts he sent to keith, and like, the ones that made lance go off?? he basically said keith can’t think for himself and that also he’s abusive

**acxalutelynot:** i keep telling him to keep his mouth shut and what does he do

**acxalutelynot:** i feel bad for lotor, really

**acxalutelynot:** he needs to learn to not meddle in other people’s lives tho

**dinezor:** hmmmmmmmmmmmm we’ll figure this out

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** tell me why zethrid is approaching the lunch table

**kogayne:** ythink lotor has to do with it

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t think so, i’ll go talk to her

**carrierpidgeon:** just like you fuckers, she appears to have a “protect the small one” instinct

**kogayne:** we can’t help it, you’re so tiny

**carrierpidgeon:** i will kick your ass, i’m like 2 inches shorter than you

**kogayne:** fight me

**kogayne:** while you were too busy being heterosexual, i studied the Blade

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m ace you bag of dicks

**lanceylance:** he did it for the Meme

**lanceylance:** DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD PIDGE KICKED ME

**takashmeoutside:** i’m so Tired, pls free me

**allurable:** pidge don’t kick lance

**shayfromstatefarm:** she’s talking to zethrid, you’re not gonna get a response right now

**lanceylance:** my shin is in PAIN why did she KICK THAT HARD

**kogayne:** do you need me to kiss it better

**lanceylance:** you’re gonna regret that

**kogayne:** i was being sarca

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** he’s flexible

**lanceylance:** I TOOK GYMNASTICS AS A KID, FUCKERS

**carrierpidgeon:** okay so zethrid was just asking about the show and stuff, nbd

**lanceylance:** is she doing crew

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah, she wanted to know abt rehearsals and stuff

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good night starlight don’t let the bedbugs bite

**kogayne:** why are you like this

**lanceylance:** because i can be and also bc i’m sleep-deprived but i have to finish this thing

**kogayne:** what thing

**lanceylance:** this thing fo

**kogayne:** lance??

**kogayne:** ...lance?????????

**kogayne:** i stg if you fell asleep on your phone

**kogayne:** [long sigh] good night, starboy, start sleeping better

**kogayne:** i’m picking us up in the morning, you’re gonna need coffee

**kogayne:** …  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i change the show??? bc my school changed the fucking show and the office won't explain why, and i was gonna write their theatre shenanigans based on my theatre shenanigans, so there, CHANGE IN SHOW
> 
> also i had to write a thing about mythology for ap lit and i'm lowkey nervous to turn it in bc my teacher critiqued some kids who turned theirs in early and said it wasn't what she was looking for (even though the rubric only really outlines format and not content). like, she said she wants us to discuss an issue important to us or whatever, so some kids wrote some REALLY GOOD poems or short stories, and then my teacher's like "mmmm nah you gotta expand more, what if the gods went to the prom!!" and she started suggesting shitty fanfic tropes and sdfghrjtewkerkte my friend and i were like, internally and externally screaming
> 
> and my poetry is always more abstract over concrete so i hope my teacher gets my message of feminism and women empowerment thru artemis, athena, aphrodite, and persephone or else i'm going to my creative writing teacher and getting a second opinion
> 
> anyWAY OFF TO BED


	48. the cast list & a roast fest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "roast fest" makes it sound a lot more interesting than it actually is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY SORRY SORRY I MEANT TO HAVE THIS OUT YESTERDAY BUT  
> last night i got in bed at like 9 and planned on lying down for a few hours and then spending half the night writing, but i fell asleep and slept through all of my alarms, and then i woke up at 4:45 AM feeling like shit, so i went back to bed for another four hours before realiZING IT WAS SATURDAY MORNING
> 
> ANYWAY HERE'S THE CHAPTER

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** FUCK I FELL ASLEEP FUKCKFUCKCMSJAKDOCAJ

**kogayne:** good morning to you too

**lanceylance:** I HAD A THING I NEEDED TO DO FOR SPANISH

**lanceylance:** AND I FUCKING /FELL ASLEEP/

**kogayne:** what did you need to do

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** THIS ENTIRE ASSIGNMENT

**kogayne:** you’re fucked

**lanceylance:** I’M SO FUCKED

**lanceylance:** I HAVE SPANISH  S E C O N D  P E R I O D

**lanceylance:** what if i skip psych and hide out in the library and do it

**kogayne:** don’t skip psych

**kogayne:** just work on it /during psych/ it’s a half day and i’m pretty sure antok either won’t care or won’t notice

**kogayne:** i’ll even cover for you

**lanceylance:** you don’t need to cover for me

**kogayne:** too late i’m covering for you, also get dressed so we can go get coffee

**lanceylance:** have i told you lately how much i love you

**kogayne:** yeah but it’s always nice to hear it again

**lanceylance:** i fucking love you

**kogayne:** :)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** CAST LIST IS UP THIS IS NOT A DRILL

_ (2) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I DON’T WANNA LOOK SOMEONE LOOK FOR ME

**carrierpidgeon:** didn’t even make the cut

**lanceylance:** W H A T

**kogayne:** she’s lying, you got the lead guy

**kogayne:** and it looks like you’re kissing ezor, congratulations

**hunkerdunker:** SHAY WE’RE MARRIED

**shayfromstatefarm:** YES FINALLY

**lanceylance:** i am kissing,,, ezor

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** ho boy

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** the cast list has been put out

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lotoreal_ **

**dinezor:** ah fuck

**dinezor:** it really happened

**acxalutelynot:** and it looks like lotor’s in love with plaxum, that should be interesting

**dinezor:** oh thank goodness, i was not kissing lotor

**lotoreal:** am i that unattractive

**dinezor:** i dunno how to put this but i am a huge lesbian

**dinezor:** like, huge

**dinezor:** unbelievable

**zethridofmyproblems:** okay donald trump

**dinezor:** NEVER ASSOCIATE ME WITH THAT MOLDY CLEMENTINE EVER AGAIN

**sippinganartini:** crusty tangerine

**acxalutelynot:** sweaty orange

**lotoreal:** why?

**dinezor:** BECAUSE WE CAN

**zethridofmyproblems:** do you think people in this school have nicknames for us the way we do for donald trump

**dinezor:** i hope mine is “acxa’s hot girlfriend”

**acxalutelynot:** i hope you don’t expect mine to match yours

**dinezor:** :O HOW DARE

**dinezor:** ANYWAY time for someone to step up and make a group chat for the drama club, wonder who’s gonna take one for the team

**dinezor:** i’ll do it i guess

**dinezor:** do i add crew or let them have their own chat

**acxalutelynot:** it’s probably more efficient to put us all in one chat

**dinezor:** :D YOU’RE DOING CREW??

**acxalutelynot:** i guess

**dinezor:** :D :D :D :D :D :D

**zethridofmyproblems:** you guys are cute

**dinezor:** isn’t acxa the cutest

**acxalutelynot:** anyway the group chat

**sippinganartini:** lmfao

 

**_dinezor_ ** _ added  _ **_acxalutelynot, lotoreal, madplax, lanceylance, kogayne, hunkerdunker, shayfromstatefarm, carrierpidgeon, floronawiththecorona,_ ** _ and 20 others to  _ **_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**dinezor:** so first, congrats to the cast!!! and thanks for joining us, crew!!

**lanceylance:** happy less-than-one-month till show!!!

**lanceylance:** WHO’S READY FOR LONG REHEARSALS EVERY DAY, I KNOW I AM

**lotoreal:** yes, i suppose rehearsals will be grueling

**hunkerdunker:** i mean, i can bake for the cast most days

**hunkerdunker:** assuming we’ll be there pretty late and run into dinner time

**madplax:** some of us can also go some nights and make runs to like, panera or mcdonalds

**shayfromstatefarm:** that works

**acxalutelynot:** and since crew probably won’t have much to do the first week or two, we can make earlier runs if the cast is still rehearsing

**carrierpidgeon:** lmao catch me still at school, no license or car here

**floronawiththecorona:** we’ll figure out some kind of system

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** you and me?

**lanceylance:** que

**kogayne:** during rehearsal breaks

**kogayne:** wanna go on minidates

**kogayne:** not every night obviously

**kogayne:** but some?

**lanceylance:** ahhhh yes!!!

**lanceylance:** yesyesyesyesyesyesyes

**kogayne:** someone’s enthusiastic

**lanceylance:** if i’m gonna be on that stage with ezor and lotor and plax then i need time with my boyfriend afterward

**lanceylance:** so i can shower u with aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the affection

**kogayne:** rttnyrewsdnmtyregsntuter

**lanceylance:** :) i love youuuuuuuuuuuuu, i’ll see you soon for fifth!!

**kogayne:** love you too 

**lanceylance:** OH BTW

**lanceylance:** can /i/ nap on /you/ during study hall today

**kogayne:** of course 

**kogayne:** fair chance i fall asleep on you too though

**kogayne:** like you apparently did on me on wednesday

**lanceylance:** i can’t help it, you were so cute and so cozy and it was so cold

**kogayne:** yo cant’ jsut ay that

**lanceylance:** CAN AND DID, FUCKER

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** is it still pining if two people are in a committed relationship with future plans to get married

**takashmeoutside:** what did they do now

**hunkerdunker:** lance won’t shut up about how cute keith is, it’s sickening

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T HELP IT I LOVE HIM

**lanceylance:** KEITH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

**lanceylance:** I WOULD ROB ALL THE STARS IN THE SKY TO GUARANTEE YOUR HAPPINESS

**kogayne:** fdhtjyterwfehgrehgthhyryjllkawd

**mattata:** i think you broke him

**takashmeoutside:** he’s been broken for a while, lance is just taking a sledgehammer to the wreckage now

**allurable:** it’s been a year and a half, why are they still like this

**lanceylance:** I HAVE TO ASSERT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM

**lanceylance:** HOW ELSE IS HE GOING TO KNOW

**carrierpidgeon:** do you ever shut up about keith

**lanceylance:** only occasionally

**lanceylance:** but then i start thinking about him again and remember that he exists and get super happy

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** what did you /do/ to him

**kogayne:** asked him out on a series of minidates for after rehearsals get going, and then agreed to nap with him during study

**takashmeoutside:** wtf

**kogayne:** he’s so cute

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA he’s so good

**kogayne:** i love him so much i need to punch something

**takashmeoutside:** “i love lance a lot, i have to resort to violence to release my feelings”

**kogayne:** we all have our own outlets, mine just happens to be a physical outlet

**kogayne:** besides i’m not gonna punch a /person/

**kogayne:** ...or at least, not lance or anyone in the group chat

**takashmeoutside:** k e i t h

**kogayne:** I NEED TO PUNCH SOMETHING

**takashmeoutside:** what class are you in right now

**kogayne:** ryner

**takashmeoutside:** metaphorically punch those functions with knowledge and the right variables plugged into the right places

**kogayne:** ugh fine

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** quick they’re asleep, let’s have a real discussion

**allurable:** what do you wanna discuss

**carrierpidgeon:** if we went to space and encountered hostile aliens, who would be the first to die

**takashmeoutside:** matt

**mattata:** shiro

**allurable:** both of them

**hunkerdunker:** ...okay 1. pidge what the fuck

**hunkerdunker:** 2\. why @ matt @ shiro @ allura

**takashmeoutside:** matt would try to impress them with memes and fail to see the danger of the situation

**mattata:** one of them would swing at keith and shiro would go dad mode and overestimate his fighting abilities

**allurable:** they’d probably die for each other 

**hunkerdunker:** okay um 1. uhhh don’t show memes to hostile aliens i guess

**hunkerdunker:** 2\. that’s accurate

**hunkerdunker:** 3\. that’s romantic but also wow what a lack of fighting skills

**shayfromstatefarm:** allura’s mixing up matt and shiro with keith and lance

**carrierpidgeon:** so what i’m hearing is half the group chat needs to improve their fighting skills

**carrierpidgeon:** let’s start a fight club

**mattata:** shhhhh don’t talk about it

**carrierpidgeon:** about what

**mattata:** fight club

**carrierpidgeon:** what’s that

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh] why are you both like this

**mattata:** i raised her this way you should be proud i raised a child and didn’t die

**carrierpidgeon:** yet

**mattata:** what

**carrierpidgeon:** what

**shayfromstatefarm:** i thought the point of starting the club that must not be named was to improve everyone’s self-preservation skills

**carrierpidgeon:** if he dies he fails his test

**mattata:** ...what test

**carrierpidgeon:** the one that hasn’t happened yet ;)

**mattata:** SHIRO SHE’S PLOTTING MAKE HER STOP

**takashmeoutside:** she’s your daughter

**mattata:** ALLURAAAAAA

**allurable:** pidge don’t kill matt

**carrierpidgeon:** not even a little bit

**mattata:** nO

**allurable:** no, not even a little bit

**carrierpidgeon:** ugh fine

**mattata:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** :)))))))))))) sleep with one eye open brother

**mattata:** SHIRO I’M SLEEPING AT YOUR PLACE TONIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** THANKS FOR THE INFO ;))))))

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** i just read the group chat and eXCUSE ME, KEITH AND I WOULD KICK ASS IN SPACE

**kogayne:** if an alien comes at us then we’re not the ones dying

**kogayne:** never speak to me or my husband ever again

**kogayne:** also please, we all know if an alien swung at me i’d be able to handle myself, that alien would be dead before shiro could even get moving

**takashmeoutside:** why are you underestimating my skills like this

**kogayne:** because i can

**mattata:** he’s spending too much time with my sister, they’re rubbing off on each other, make it stop

**lanceylance:** so if i’m rubbing off on keith and he’s rubbing off on pidge, that means i am also rubbing off on pidge

**kogayne:** and that means pidge is probably also rubbing off on you

**allurable:** a truly horrifying combination

**lanceylance:** meme team x cryptkids = UNSTOPPABLE

**carrierpidgeon:** INVINCIBLE

**lanceylance:** that means the same thing

**carrierpidgeon:** but mine sounds better

**lanceylance:** ummm no?

**carrierpidgeon:** um yes?

**kogayne:** leave the math to pidge

**lanceylance:** :O RUDE

**kogayne:** you talk constantly about how you’re bad at calc, shhhhh

**lanceylance:** YEAH BUT I LIKE ALGEBRA

**carrierpidgeon:** give me all the math

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m not asexual i’m mathsexual

**kogayne:** a(rithmetic)sexual

**carrierpidgeon:** rgfjtrhegsgetnrhers

**shayfromstatefarm:** i think this is the best development from the group chat all day

**lanceylance:** my math skills are being slandered, i need backup, keith has sided against me

**mattata:** i’M HERE MY BOY

**lanceylance:** THANKS MATT, GLAD I CAN RELY ON YOU

**lanceylance:** the TRUE meme team!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** >:O

**carrierpidgeon:** TAKE IT BACK MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** T A K E  I T  B A C K

**lanceylance:** NO

**lanceylance:** THAT’S SPANISH FOR NO

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE IS OFFICIALLY ON MY HIT LIST

**hunkerdunker:** ...you mean “shit list” right

**carrierpidgeon:** i know what i said

**lanceylance:** :O

**lanceylance:** BRING IT

**carrierpidgeon:** [throws calculus]

**mattata:** [DEFLECTS CALCULUS WITH ALGEBRA]

**lanceylance:** DON’T FUCK WITH ME, I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE

**lanceylance:** AND MATT

**shayfromstatefarm:** i lied, this is the worst development from the group chat all day

**carrierpidgeon:** I SEE YOUR MATT AND RAISE YOU KEITH

**kogayne:** hey wait nO DON’T SWING ME AT LANCE

**carrierpidgeon:** …

**carrierpidgeon:** [swings keith]

**takashmeoutside:** why are all of you like this, this is the most embarrassing thing i’ve seen all day

**kogayne:** need i remind you you were a weeb once

**takashmeoutside:** I THOUGHT WE WERE PAST THIS

**kogayne:** nope

**takashmeoutside:** i hate this group chat

 

**_allurable_ ** _ added  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ and  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ to  _ **_amazons™_ **

**allurable:** don’t forget we’re going to the mall tomorrow!! we’re finally getting pidge those dresses!!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t wait for my legs to feel free again, why did i stop wearing dresses,

**shayfromstatefarm:** leg hair

**carrierpidgeon:** my leg hair will flow in the wind

**carrierpidgeon:** anyone who makes a comment on it can DEAL WITH IT

**allurable:** buy dresses that go to the knee → only shave from the knee down

**shayfromstatefarm:** i thought everyone only shaved from the knee down

**allurable:** ???? what

**shayfromstatefarm:** do you shave the  e n t i r e  l e g

**allurable:** if my thighs are going to touch they are going to feel like baby butts

**shayfromstatefarm:** fair enough

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway do you guys wanna do other stuff when we’re there

**carrierpidgeon:** ESCAPE ROOM

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m down

**allurable:** YES PLEASE

**allurable:** matt and shiro did one last winter and won’t stop bragging about how they hold the mall record

**allurable:** we need to  c r u s h  t h e m

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m always down for ruining my brother’s high scores sign me the FUCK UP

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU ALREADY KNOW WTF IS GOIN ON

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** where are you

**lanceylance:** sorry

**lanceylance:** just finished talking to ezor

**kogayne:** i thought you were just going to talk to ryner real quick

**lanceylance:** i was but then i ran into ezor on my way to your car

**lanceylance:** we were talking about the show and also getting you and lotor to be friends

**kogayne:** /what/

**lanceylance:** i’ll explain in the car but basically it would be easier for everyone if our squads became actual friends instead of this “allies” nonsense

**kogayne:** / w h a t /

**lanceylance:** give me a sec

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** don’t worry about dinner i’m spending the night at lance’s

**kogayne:** and tomorrow we’re spending the day together

**kogayne:** so like, go hang out with matt or something

**takashmeoutside:** i was just about to text you asking when you were coming back

**takashmeoutside:** so dinner /tomorrow/

**kogayne:** don’t be surprised if lance shows up but also don’t be surprised if we end up going out to eat

**takashmeoutside:** whatever you decide lemme know in advance so i can plan my evening

**kogayne:** u got it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bye i'm gonna go write the saturday chapter now
> 
> ALSO SOME OF YOU GUYS MENTIONED YOU WANNA READ MY POEM SO HERE'S A QUESTION:  
> would you rather i posted it to instagram (@ nerdyspaceace) or post it in the end note  
> lemme know  
> unless you don't wanna see it  
> (...if u don't wanna see it don't let me know just keep that thought to urself)
> 
> OKAY BYE FOR REAL


	49. Mall Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls are headed to the mall. So are Lance and Keith. Matt, Shiro, and Hunk have a group chat now. Yes, those three. No, I am not joking. RIP Hunk...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is where i would apologize for not getting this up on saturday or sunday bc i felt like i got hit by a bus but then you'd all yell at me that it's not my fault and that health comes first so let's skip all that THE SATURDAY CHAPTER IS FINALLY HERE...ON MONDAY

**_amazons™_ **

**allurable:** GOOD MORNING SUNSHINES

 **allurable:** IS EVERYONE EXCITED

 **carrierpidgeon:** DRESS DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i have only ever seen pidge this enthusiastic about shopping the last time we went to best buy with hunk and lance

 **carrierpidgeon:** I’VE FORGOTTEN WHAT FEMININITY FEELS LIKE AND I’M READY TO FULLY EMBRACE IT ONCE MORE

 **carrierpidgeon:** AND IF ANYONE TRIES TO SHAME ME FOR THIS THEN I’LL SIC MY ROBOTS ON THEM

 **allurable:** THAT’S THE SPIRIT!

 **allurable:** i’ll be picking you both up in an hour!!!! so make sure you’re all ready!!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** I HAVE TO SHOWER BUT I’LL BE FAST

 **carrierpidgeon:** FUGERGWKE SAME, TIME TO POWERWASH

 **carrierpidgeon:** (and by powerwash i mean take a normal shower but whisper an endless stream of “fuck”s to myself)

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m suddenly very glad matt is at shiro’s so i don’t need to throw his ass out of the bathroom

 

**_dinezor > lanceylance_ **

**dinezor:** good morning!

 **lanceylance:** we’ve both decided that now isn’t the time

 **dinezor:** ...seriously

 **lanceylance:** things are still too charged at the moment

 **lanceylance:** keith is hesitant and i’m still angry over some of the things lotor insinuated about keith

 **lanceylance:** things neither of us have heard an apology for

 **lanceylance:** for now we think it’s best to call off the “alliance” and remove whatever awkwardness is there

 **lanceylance:** and just be civil to each other during rehearsals and stuff

 **dinezor:** oh come /on/ i spent an hour getting lotor to agree

 **lanceylance:** sorry, but our answer right now is no

 **lanceylance:** and if any of you even think about texting keith,

 **lanceylance:** don’t.

 **dinezor:** this is unfortunate

 **lanceylance:** yeah, it is

 **lanceylance:** maybe we can try again in a few months

 **lanceylance:** but right now, keith and i are both uncomfortable

 **lanceylance:** have a good day tho

 **dinezor:** you too, tell keith i say hi

 **lanceylance:** i will, tell acxa i say sup

 

**_dinezor > acxalutelynot_ **

_(2) photos from_ **_dinezor_ **

**acxalutelynot:** told ya so

 **dinezor:** gyjtrdf STOP RUBBING IT IN

 **acxalutelynot:** i’ll rub it in to lotor

 **acxalutelynot:** anyway, now what

 **dinezor:** be nice during rehearsal i guess

 **dinezor:** shouldn’t be too hard if i have to pretend to be in love with lance the whole time

 **acxalutelynot:** cool good to know

 **acxalutelynot:** so, what’s the agenda for today

 **dinezor:** avoid this entire situation by shopping

 **dinezor:** it’s mall day

 

**_Let’s Go GNO_ **

**dinezor:** get ready ladies, it’s mall day!!

 

 **_takashmeoutside > mattata_ ** _,_ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**_mattata_ ** _named the chat_ **_dammit shiro name these things yourself_ **

**takashmeoutside:** gee thanks matt

 **mattata:** ;)

 **takashmeoutside:** anyway it occurred to me that lance, keith, and the girls will all be out today, what do we do

 **hunkerdunker:** lance and keith are out today??

 **takashmeoutside:** spending the whole day together, according to keith

 **hunkerdunker:** good to know   
****

**takashmeoutside:** it’s just the three of us

 **mattata:** our octet is down to three

 **takashmeoutside:** yes

 **hunkerdunker:** so why don’t you and matt just go on a date too??

 **takashmeoutside:** because you’ll be alone, and that’d /suck/

 **hunkerdunker:** i mean, if you and matt went on a date,,,,

 **takashmeoutside:** ARE YOU KIDDING ME

 **hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(-_-)_/¯

 **takashmeoutside:** I EXPECT THESE SORTS OF THINGS FROM MATT AND LANCE AND SOMETIMES KEITH OR PIDGE, BUT NEVER YOU

 **hunkerdunker:** i had to

 **hunkerdunker:** the opportunity was /right there/

 **mattata:** screenshot saved, this is so going to the main chat later

 **hunkerdunker:** no, pls, my pristine reputation

 **takashmeoutside:** YOU SHOULD’VE THOUGHT OF THE CONSEQUENCES, HUNK

 **hunkerdunker:** so anyway if the three of us are hanging out today as you’ve implied, what are we doing

 **mattata:** sports center

 **mattata:** i vote sports center

 **takashmeoutside:** oh no,,

 **mattata:** they opened a new paintball attraction last week, i am going to kick your asses

 **mattata:** then, we go with the whole group next time, and we’ll be prepared, and we’ll kick ass even harder

 **hunkerdunker:** have fun against lance, he doesn’t miss

 **mattata:** so he says

 **hunkerdunker:** i’ve literally seen him, he has unbelievable aim

 **mattata:** damn right it’s unbelievable bc i don’t believe you

 **hunkerdunker:** alright ye of little faith, when lance kicks your ass don’t come crying to me

 **mattata:** the boy can try!!

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m waiting for the moment when /keith/ beats matt for trying to beat lance

 **hunkerdunker:** nah, we all know lance will be covering keith

 **hunkerdunker:** keith is good at many things but shooting isn’t really one of them

 **mattata:** sO ANYWAY, SPORTS CENTER? YES? I’LL PICK YOU GUYS UP IN AN HOUR

 **hunkerdunker:** not like i really have a choice but okay

 **takashmeoutside:** ^^^^^^^^^^^

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** look behind u but be really subtle about it

 **lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **lanceylance:** WHY ARE THEY HERE

 **lanceylance:** I KNEW SHAY ALLURA AND PIDGE WOULD BE SOMEWHERE HERE BUT NOT /THEM/

 **kogayne:** do u think lactose intolerant is with them

 **lanceylance:** oh i hope the fuck not

 **kogayne:** also, speaking of shay pidge and allura

 **lanceylance:** I THOUGHT THEY WERE DRESS SHOPPING NOT DOING AN ESCAPE ROOM

 

**_amazons™_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** rtdfytrmwrbteffg WHY IS KLANCE HERE

 **allurable:** probably got bored and decided to go on a date

 **carrierpidgeon:** TO THE MALL

 **carrierpidgeon:** TO THE SAME MALL THEY KNEW WE WERE GOING TO

 **shayfromstatefarm:** instead of complaining, what if we focus on kicking their butts at this escape room, shall we

 **carrierpidgeon:** THEY’RE GOING DOWN

 **carrierpidgeon:** TODAY, WE SHALL ESTABLISH A NEW MALL RECORD

 **allurable:** ...hold on turn around but be slick

 **shayfromstatefarm:** THAT WASN’T SLICK PIDGE

 **carrierpidgeon:** everything i do is automatically slick bc /i/ am slick

 **carrierpidgeon:** but ANYWAY WHY ARE THEY HERE

 **allurable:** do you think lance and keith know

 **shayfromstatefarm:** judging by the way they’re not-so-subtly watching them, yes

 **allurable:** do you think they’re doing the escape room too

 **carrierpidgeon:** looks like it

 **shayfromstatefarm:** so who wins: three girls, four girls, or two boys

 **allurable:** ummmm we’re winning, it’s /us/

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith and lance are doing the worst out of these three groups but i still say everyone beats the shatt record

 **allurable:** what, like it’s hard?

 **carrierpidgeon:** did you just quote legally blonde at me

 **allurable:** maybe

 **allurable:** oh, the boys are up, we’re NEXT

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**kogayne:** GET FUCKED, SHIRO

 **mattata:** that can be arranged

 **lanceylance:** retgfnngdrtrfg

 **kogayne:** KLANCE NOW HOLDS THE MALL RECORD FOR THE ESCAPE ROOM

 **takashmeoutside:** WHAT THE SHIT

 **kogayne:** TWENTY-ONE MINUTES AND FIFTY-SEVEN SECONDS

 **lanceylance:** compared to twenty-one minutes and fifty-eight seconds ;)

 **hunkerdunker:** wow, how do you feel, shatt

 **mattata:** YOU KNOW WHAT WE WOULD’VE BEEN FASTER BUT SHIRO CAN’T FUCKING DO MATH

 **mattata:** THE KGB ALMOST GOT US WITH /FUCKING MATH/

 **lanceylance:** you know who didn’t fuck up with the math? ME

 **lanceylance:** or keith but like, keith is usually better than me at math anyway, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **takashmeoutside:** YEAH BUT MATT CAN’T SOLVE RIDDLES TO SAVE HIS LIFE, I WAS DOING ALL THE HEAVY LIFTING WITH THE WORDS, MY BRAIN WAS FRIED

 **kogayne:** lance and i are a well-oiled machine

 **lanceylance:** we’re a good team

 **kogayne:** the best team

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** NINETEEN MINUTES AND FORTY SECONDS, SUCK ON /THAT/ MOTHERFUCKERS

 **lanceylance:** WHAT

 **kogayne:** they have pidge, allura, and shay

 **kogayne:** are we really that surprised

 **takashmeoutside:** I FEEL BETRAYED BY MY COUSIN AND MY GIRLFRIEND

 **mattata:** BETRAYED BY MY SISTER AND MY GIRLFRIEND WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE

 **hunkerdunker:** shay i’m so proud of you look at you leading your best life

 **shayfromstatefarm:** :)  <3

 **allurable:** the real question now is, do lotor’s friends beat us

 **kogayne:** doubt it

 **carrierpidgeon:** they beat lance and keith but lose to us i’m calling it

 

**_lanceylance > dinezor_ **

**lanceylance:** yeah so i know we had that weird morning but i saw you guys at the mall at the escape room so when ur done pls just text me ur time

 

**_dinezor > lanceylance_ **

**dinezor:** twenty minutes and twelve seconds :)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** yeah so i asked ezor they didn’t even beat matt and shiro case closed

 **carrierpidgeon:** i don’t believe you

 

**_carrierpidgeon > zethridofmyproblems_**

**carrierpidgeon:** hi this is completely random but you guys did the escape room today, right??? what was ur time

 **zethridofmyproblems:** i thought lance asked ezor?

 **carrierpidgeon:** i have a feeling lance is lying

 **zethridofmyproblems:** lmao okay, we did 20:12

 **carrierpidgeon:** thank you!

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

_(1) photo from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE YOU FUCKING LIAR

 **lanceylance:** I FEEL SO EXPOSED

 **kogayne:** wow lance and i suck

 **kogayne:** BUT NOT AS MUCH AS SHIRO AND MATT

 **mattata:** i mean, we don’t always /suck/

 **takashmeoutside:** why are we dating again

 **mattata:** my boyish charm and my roguish good looks

 **takashmeoutside:** nah that cant be it

 **mattata:** fuck off granola bar

 **allurable:** yikes™

 **hunkerdunker:** pronounced the way u pronounce nike

 **lanceylance:** no,

 **carrierpidgeon:** yes

 **shayfromstatefarm:** pronounce aristotle like chipotle and chipotle like aristotle

 **lanceylance:** heathens

 **allurable:** normally lance would jump right on this sort of thing

 **lanceylance:** PIDGE EXPOSED ME AND BRUISED MY EGO

 **carrierpidgeon:** aw does the wittle baby need some icy-wicy

 **lanceylance:** stfu ur like 2 feet tall

 **carrierpidgeon:** 2 feet of whoopass

 **kogayne:** leave my boyfriend alone gremlin

 **carrierpidgeon:** step aside, nessie believer

 **kogayne:** im his knight in dented armor and i am here to defend him, now stand down

 **carrierpidgeon:** fuckign try me knife boy

 **takashmeoutside:** can everyone chill, for like one day

 **lanceylance:** adios bitchachos me and keith are gonna go spend the rest of the day with each other bc HE IS BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU

 **kogayne:** yep sorry guys lance is my favorite person in the group chat

 **takashmeoutside:** >:O

 **kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** he’s also like my favorite person period

 **lanceylance:** :) that’s my boyfriend and he’s also my favorite person

 **lanceylance:** sorry hunk

 **hunkerdunker:** it’s okay i have shay

 **shayfromstatefarm:** :D

 **kogayne:** anyway i’m gonna goooo bc i’ve got a boy to spend the rest of the day with

 **allurable:** have fun!! pidge, shay, we’ve got dresses to try on!!!!

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

_(3) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** how do i look in this dress

 **kogayne:** WTF WHEN DID YOU GRAB THAT DRESS

 **lanceylance:** before i went in the dressing room

 **lanceylance:** anyway how do i look

 **kogayne:** hot as fuck, you look so good in red

 **kogayne:** and blue

 **kogayne:** and basically everything

 **kogayne:** one question: why

 **lanceylance:** dresses are gender neutral and i thought i’d look good in it

 **kogayne:** ur wrong ur HOT AS FUCK

 **lanceylance:** ;)

 **lanceylance:** lmao i have an idea

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

_(3) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** how do i look

 **carrierpidgeon:** better than me wtf

 **mattata:** why

 **lanceylance:** because i can

 **allurable:** it’s a good argument

 **allurable:** are u actually gonna buy it tho

 **lanceylance:** oh fuck no

 **lanceylance:** this shit is $200, i just wanted to fluster keith

 **kogayne:** you little fucker

 **lanceylance:** love ya baaaabe :)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

_(5) photos from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** what happens when you reject femininity for 500 years: how do pose

 **mattata:** i thought this was photoshopped

 **carrierpidgeon:** nah fam it’s me

 **allurable:** YES! PIDGE!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** !!!!!!!!! a Woman

 **shayfromstatefarm:** queen of the robots

 **carrierpidgeon:** bow before my army, we exterminate at dawn

 **allurable:** do you want that dress??? bc i’m buying it for you

 **carrierpidgeon:** hell to the fuckin YES thank you so much allura i owe you my life

 **allurable:** don’t mention it!! now we just have to set up an occasion for it

 **lanceylance:** does this mean i should go back and buy that dress too

 **kogayne:** sit down mcclain christmas is coming

 **lanceylance:** u right i’ve gotta spoil u

 **kogayne:** WRETYNMJRTESDFFTMYRTED I MEANT FOR EVERYONE BUT OKAY??

 **shayfromstatefarm:** LIGHTBULB

 **hunkerdunker:** ?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we should do a secret santa this year

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **mattata:** YES, I CAN FINALLY GIVE ONE OF YOU A DILDO,

 **shayfromstatefarm:** *including everyone but matt

 **takashmeoutside:** why is he like this

 **mattata:** why /aren’t you/ like this

 **takashmeoutside:** common sense and manners

 **carrierpidgeon:** smh

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ANYWAY I’M GONNA START ARRANGING THAT WHILE PIDGE AND ALLURA ARE STILL DRESS SHOPPING

 **hunkerdunker:** wbu??? no dresses??

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i chose one, you’ll see :)

 **hunkerdunker:** shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ;)

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so, dinner?

 **kogayne:** lance and i are going to buffalo wild wings, he challenged me to a wing-eating contest and i’m not about to fuckign lose

 **takashmeoutside:** okay have fun don’t choke

 **kogayne:** ...okay

 **takashmeoutside:** DID YOU JUST

 **kogayne:** BYE BROTHER DEAREST

 **takashmeoutside:** WE’RE COUSINS

 **kogayne:** WE’RE BASICALLY BROTHERS BYE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> play rehearsals started today so like,,, i have ideas for the monday chapter,,,,,,,, maybe it'll go up tonight, but...CALCULUS CALLS (does it ever not)
> 
> SEE YA WHENEVER THE NEXT CHAPTER GOES UP


	50. and now the nose starts runnin and it don't stop runnin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance is sick and stubborn as fuck aka the author is way-too-obviously projecting onto lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u believe i wrote this in like 3 hours
> 
> anyway lance is sick and pretty much everything that happens in this chapter has happened to me either last time i got sick (so like, a month ago) or today
> 
> like literally today

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnhhhhh

**kogayne:** oh no

**lanceylance:** i wanna be deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaad

**kogayne:** i’m gonna guess you’re being overdramatic based on you dragging out the letters for so long

**lanceylance:** remember yesterday, how i stayed home all day bc it felt like my head was in a hydraulic press

**kogayne:** do you feel better or worse

**lanceylance:** better but still not great :(

**lanceylance:** my ears won’t pop and i’m congested and i keep coughing and kill me i don’t wanna deal with a head cold

**kogayne:** so i take it you’re staying home from school today?

**lanceylance:** ???? wtf no calculus calls

**kogayne:** PLEASE WOULD YOU JUST STAY HOME AND REST

**lanceylance:** TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF REHEARSALS I HAVE TO BE THERE DAMMIT

**kogayne:** LANCE I WILL DO ALL YOUR WORK FOR YOU AND GET YOUR SCRIPT AND STAND IN AND READ YOUR LINES JUST FUCKING STAY HOME

**lanceylance:** I AM GOING TO SCHOOL

**kogayne:** LANCE  P L E A S E

**lanceylance:** SCREW YOU KOGANE

**kogayne:** MAYBE WHEN YOU’RE FEELING BETTER

**lanceylance:** ...did you just

**kogayne:** STAY HOME

**lanceylance:** TOO LATE, DO YOU WANT COFFEE OR NOT

**kogayne:** YES PLEASE BUT IF YOU GET ME SICK I’M COMING FOR YOUR HEAD

**lanceylance:** WE SPENT THE WEEKEND MAKING OUT YOU’RE GONNA GET SICK CONGRATULATIONS

**kogayne:** DAMMIT MCCLAIN

**kogayne:** OKAY BUT DON’T BE YELLING AT ME WHEN I’M HAULING ASS TO SCHOOL WITH TISSUES IN HAND

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** this is a callout post for lance WHY ARE YOU AT SCHOOL YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT

**lanceylance:** hunk, dear heart, you wound me

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m about to drag your ass to the nurse’s office

**lanceylance:** NOPE I’M NOT LEAVING I HAVE TO GO TO REHEARSAL

**kogayne:** why is he like this

**kogayne:** someone please tell me why my boyfriend is like this

**takashmeoutside:** you signed up for this

**takashmeoutside:** just like i signed up for matt

**kogayne:** neither of us read the fine print

**mattata:** i will kick your collective asses

**allurable:** matt sweetie shhhh don’t listen to them

**allurable:** WHO IS OUT HERE SLANDERING MY BOYFRIEND

**mattata:** your other boyfriend

**allurable:** DAMMIT SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** allura please it’s not what you think

**carrierpidgeon:** [shrieking] ALL THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APAAAAAAAAART

**mattata:** WHO GAVE HER CAFFEINE THIS EARLY

**lanceylance:** I GOT MYSELF AND KEITH COFFEE BUT NOT HER DON’T LOOK AT ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** DON’T YOU HAVE A SORE THROAT

**lanceylance:** MAYBE

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE COFFEE MAKES IT /WORSE/

**lanceylance:** I DO WHAT I WANT

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOU ARE GOING TO BE DEAD BY THE AGE OF 25

**lanceylance:** HERE FOR A GOOD TIME NOT A LONG TIME

**kogayne:** SIT DOWN MCCLAIN YOU’RE HERE FOR A LONG TIME SO HELP ME GOD

**kogayne:** HOW ARE WE GONNA RAISE A FAMILY IF YOU’RE NOT HERE

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**kogayne:** YEAH FUCKIN RIGHT FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** this went from 0 to 100 real quick did anyone get sleep

**kogayne:** lance is doped out on cold medicine

**lanceylance:** AM NOT

**kogayne:** YOU’RE TAKING THE MAXIMUM DOSAGE RIGHT DOWN TO THE SECOND YOU CAN TAKE THE NEXT ONE

**lanceylance:** IT SAYS WAIT FOUR HOURS I WAITED FOUR HOURS

**kogayne:** YOU FUCKING TIMED IT

**lanceylance:** I AM TRYING TO RESTORE MYSELF TO HEALTH, DON’T YOU WANT ME HEALTHY

**kogayne:** YOU HAVE TO CHILL WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST STAY HOME

**hunkerdunker:** that’s it, gang up on lance

**hunkerdunker:** if me keith pidge and shay come at him we should have no problem dragging him to the nurse

**lanceylance:** I’M FINE I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** this boy is not going to make it through the day i’m calling it now, who’s willing to bet on it

**kogayne:** i can’t bet against my boyfriend, i really shouldn’t take this bet,,,

**kogayne:** he can make it

**kogayne:** he’s stubborn as fuck and will probably collapse as soon as he gets home but he’ll make it

**carrierpidgeon:** $20 sound fair?

**kogayne:** fair enough

**carrierpidgeon:** take sides kids

**takashmeoutside:** pidge

**mattata:** pidge

**hunkerdunker:** pidge

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge

**allurable:** ...keith

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmm interesting, all of us are about to make $40

**kogayne:** mmm we’ll see

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** dyathink it’s possible to overdose on cough drops

**hunkerdunker:** this is not a question i want to see by fourth period

**shayfromstatefarm:** depends on the brand, what does the back say about dosage

**lanceylance:** it’s luden’s, it says take as many as you need

**takashmeoutside:** ...and how many have you had

**lanceylance:** thirteen, i think

**lanceylance:** might be fourteen, i’ve sort of lost track

**kogayne:** LANCE WHAT THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t think you can really overdose on luden’s but that amount will probably make you nauseous

**lanceylance:** oh

**lanceylance:** fun

**hunkerdunker:** tryresntresdfbersrbterws please go home

**lanceylance:** i adamantly refuse

**kogayne:** why are you like this

**lanceylance:** survival of the fittest

**carrierpidgeon:** this is natural selection at work

**lanceylance:** SEE PIDGE GETS ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** …

**hunkerdunker:** uhhhh

**mattata:** who’s gonna tell him

**lanceylance:** ……………..it was an insult wasn’t it

**kogayne:** please go home and get rest

**lanceylance:** remember when you came to school when your mental state was super fragile and i insisted on dragging you home but you stayed the whole day because you’re stubborn

**kogayne:** ...maybe…

**lanceylance:** payback fucker

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** period 5 update: i just almost died

**shayfromstatefarm:** we just watched him almost die

**allurable:** WHAT HAPPENED

**lanceylance:** i was sucking on a cough drop

**lanceylance:** but the thing is i’ve been mouth-breathing all day bc i’m pretty sure my nose doesn’t even exist anymore

**lanceylance:** actually scratch that it exists and it’s running and fuck my life but anyway

**mattata:** gonna get to the point soon orrrr

**lanceylance:** hush mathematics holt

**mattata:** did he just

**kogayne:** yep

**lanceylance:** so like, my mouth and throat are also at this weird disconnect, like you know when one of your senses is off sometimes it throws the others off

**lanceylance:** like my face is clogged my ears are clogged i’m a mess and so my throat and mouth are at this disconnect

**carrierpidgeon:** you already said that

**shayfromstatefarm:** i think he’s getting delirious

**takashmeoutside:** keith please take your boy to the nurse

**lanceylance:** I’M FINE ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** i went to breathe and i was sucking on the cough drop and it just

**lanceylance:** went to the back of my throat

**lanceylance:** i was about to choke to death so i just

**lanceylance:** swallowed

**lanceylance:** it wasn’t even halfway melted

**takashmeoutside:** what the fuck

**allurable:** i have to ask, which cough drop were you on

**lanceylance:** green apple

**allurable:** no

**lanceylance:** ummm i’m pretty sure i know which flavor i almost died on

**allurable:** no which number

**lanceylance:** oh ummm...17? i think?

**mattata:** someone cut this kid off please

**kogayne:** i took the bags from him

**lanceylance:** i almost died i don’t want any more

**mattata:** waitwaitwaitwait bags????

**shayfromstatefarm:** he had bags of honey, green apple, and wild cherry all in his backpack

**allurable:** i like that he’s prepared but isn’t that a bit,,, excessive?

**lanceylance:** um no

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** anyway back to physics lalalalaaaaaaa

**allurable:** he’s so sick someone please send him home

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m at rehearsal pls kill me

**kogayne:** i’m in the parking lot, all you have to do is say the word and you can go home

**lanceylance:** i have to power through

**lanceylance:** but also

**lanceylance:** idk what the director was thinking when he cast some of these parts

**lanceylance:** hunkerdunker over here has one of the biggest parts in the show, i’m proud of my boy

**lanceylance:** shay’s got a big role too

**lanceylance:** but some of our veteran theatre kids got shafted in favor of kids who can’t

**lanceylance:** read a single line

**lanceylance:** to save their life

**hunkerdunker:** why why why why why did they give this kid the role of puck 

**lanceylance:** THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING

**shayfromstatefarm:** seriously we’ve had to redo this scene 5 times they’re not even paying attention

**shayfromstatefarm:** AND IT’S JUST A FREAKING READTHROUGH, WE’RE NOT EVEN STAGING YET

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** also

**kogayne:** you’re whispering, this should be fun

**lanceylance:** not only do i kiss ezor

**lanceylance:** i read the script closer

**lanceylance:** i

**lanceylance:** also kiss plax

**kogayne:** uh congrats?

**lanceylance:** what the fuck do you mean congrats, are you not angry or jealous

**kogayne:** ...should i be jealous?

**kogayne:** i thought we agreed that we don’t cheat on each other

**kogayne:** we swindled half the school last week based upon that very premise???

**lanceylance:** >:( jealous keith is hot tho

**kogayne:** you’re so delirious why did i not drag you home

**lanceylance:** also lotor and i try to fight each other

**lanceylance:** like we start out friends??? i think???? it’s kind of ambiguous but then there’s the whole thing with the magic and the romances getting fucked up and then we wanna fight

**kogayne:** don’t actually get into a fight with him during rehearsal

**lanceylance:** but he was mean to you and didn’t apologize

**kogayne:** you fucking need rest

**kogayne:** do not pick a fight, do you understand

**lanceylance:** wow ur not being the hothead for once i must be in an alternate reality

**kogayne:** SEE WHAT YOU DO 

**kogayne:** YOU GO AND GET SICK AND NOW I HAVE TO BE THE RESPONSIBLE ONE

**lanceylance:** hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** at long last, rehearsal is over, dobby is a free elf

**carrierpidgeon:** you actually made it through the day

**lanceylance:** feel like shit tho!

**lanceylance:** keith, babe,

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**lanceylance:** i may be a bit dizzy right now,

**kogayne:** i’m coming in

**kogayne:** hunk don’t let him hurt himself

**hunkerdunker:** i’ve got him

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** cough up the cash

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t fucking believe

**kogayne:** allura and i are both about to be $100 richer

**allurable:** :)

**kogayne:** this is what you get for betting against his stubborn ass

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe

**kogayne:** i just got home, what

**lanceylance:** come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

**kogayne:** dammit lance

**lanceylance:** bring me to ur house :(

**kogayne:** you’re gonna get me, shiro, and black sick

**lanceylance:** can cats even catch human illnesses

**kogayne:** yes, actually

**kogayne:** dogs can’t

**lanceylance:** but baaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE I WANNA BE WITH YOU

**lanceylance:** AND AWAY FROM MY MOM, SHE’S TRYING TO FORCE A THIRD BOWL OF SOUP DOWN MY THROAT, PLEASE RESCUE ME

**kogayne:** smh i’m on my way

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** when you get home from work you’re going to have another mouth to feed

**takashmeoutside:** don’t tell me you’re bringing lance over

**kogayne:** fine i won’t but i’d be lying

**takashmeoutside:** the whole house is gonna get sick

**kogayne:** i’ve already been exposed, your fall is inevitable

**takashmeoutside:** i’m making soup for dinner then

**kogayne:** okay, no, number one, i’m getting us all takeout

**kogayne:** number two, your cooking sucks, but lance has also already had two bowls of soup, i am rescuing him from the Soup Demon

**takashmeoutside:** why do you have to be mean to mrs mcclain like that

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**kogayne:** it is midnight,

**kogayne:** and i have sneezed.

**kogayne:** and so it begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hydraulic press comment: yesterday/today
> 
> 10+ cough drops by lunch/5th period: last month
> 
> swallowed a whole cough drop after almost choking to death: today
> 
> rehearsal: today (can u tell i am not pleased w some casting choices)
> 
> also whenever i/my friends get sick we get weirdly aggressive and giggly and shouty so like,,,, yeah
> 
> anyway i'm gonna go work on sgd chapter 18 instead of doing my homework bc it's not even due till wednesday and also FUCK CALCULUS


	51. they're both sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's all lance's fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had 0 inspiration for this chapter and i'm pretty tired so it's not very long
> 
> idk if i'm gonna have a wednesday chapter (i probably will)
> 
> i feel like i'm on the verge of writing burnout and also i'm trying to smash through a bout of writer's block for sgd chapter 18
> 
> like i know where that chapter needs to end but it's a matter of getting there
> 
> anyway here's the chapter

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** sincerely, from the bottom of my cold little heart, fuck you

**lanceylance:** why did you text me, your room is across the hall

**kogayne:** I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D GET THIS UNTIL MORNING IT’S 3 AM WHY ARE YOU AWAKE

**lanceylance:** i dunno if you noticed but i’m CONGESTED I CAN’T FRICK-FRACKIN BREATHE

**lanceylance:** and also i miss cuddling with my boyfriend :(

**kogayne:** your sick little ass was put in the guest room specifically to reduce my chances of winding up a hot mess of snot and sinus pain but HERE WE ARE ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** you already acknowledged the fact that you were probably gonna get sick

**kogayne:** I WAS HOPING TO BE WRONG

**lanceylance:** anyway why are /you/ awake mr. high and mighty

**kogayne:** because i can’t breathe either

**kogayne:** also, my dinner was coming back up

**lanceylance:** I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO TO MCDONALDS AND WHAT DID YOU DO

**kogayne:** went to mcdonalds

**kogayne:** you spited my advice all day i had to get even

**lanceylance:** don’t cut off your face to spite the know-it-all

**lanceylance:** or however that saying goes

**kogayne:** don’t cut off your nose to spite your face

**lanceylance:** yeah that whatever

**lanceylance:** anyway, are you gonna stay home from schoooooooooool

**kogayne:** no, fuck you

**kogayne:** dinner stayed down, i’m going back to bed and going in

**lanceylance:** you fucking hypocrite

**kogayne:** it’s called getting even

**lanceylance:** ...anyway good night i love you  <3

**kogayne:** love you too  <3

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** day 2: keith and lance /both/ look like shit and they’re /both/ in school

**allurable:** shiro why did you let them out of the house

**takashmeoutside:** they threatened to cough all over me if i didn’t move out of the way and i don’t know about you all but i’d rather not get sick, thanks

**kogayne:** it’s just a matter of time

**takashmeoutside:** shut up keith

**kogayne:** don’t tell me what to do takashi

**lanceylance:** i don’t feel as awful as i did six hours ago!! but i’m still stuffy and my ears won’t pop and also my throat is not a throat it’s basically a garbage disposal

**lanceylance:** i am on a self-imposed vocal rest today bc i have rehearsal and i have to read those lines

**shayfromstatefarm:** REHEARSAL IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR HEALTH 

**lanceylance:** hey listen, i’m feeling better than keith, who was already muttering about being dizzy first period!!

**takashmeoutside:** keith i’m calling the office and coming to pick you up

**kogayne:** no!! 

**kogayne:** lance is LYING I’M FINE

**kogayne:** and plus we took my car to school

**carrierpidgeon:** we

**carrierpidgeon:** as in, you and lance crammed your germy selves into the same vicinity

**kogayne:** yes so?

**carrierpidgeon:** you two are unbelievable

**lanceylance:** I AM NOT LYING KEITH IS GOING TO COLLAPSE BEFORE THE DAY IS OVER MARK MY WORDS

**lanceylance:** tbh he should give me his car keys and let shiro take him home

**takashmeoutside:** yes i like lance’s idea

**kogayne:** fuck off i’m not going home

**lanceylance:** if you collapse i stg

**kogayne:** if i collapse you’ll /what/

**lanceylance:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i’ll have to drag your unconscious butt to the nurse bc i care about ur health

**lanceylance:** and then i’ll yell at u when ur conscious and force soup down ur throat

**kogayne:** oh no, not the soup, i’m so terrified

**lanceylance:** MARK

**lanceylance:** MY

**lanceylance:** WORDS

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** do i tell kogane and mcclain that they look like zombies

**acxalutelynot:** username

**lotoreal:** why are they both here? they sound awful.

**dinezor:** stubborn, but we’re not going to harass them

**sippinganartini:** seriously, what makes you think it’s a good idea to talk to them

**dinezor:** ^^^^^^^^ like, unless you apologize first for what you said about keith,,,

**lotoreal:** i was speaking the truth and looking out for mcclain’s well-being

**zethridofmyproblems:** referring to them solely by their last names really isn’t helping your case, on top of the whole “not-apologizing” thing

**lotoreal:** are you all on their side or something

**sippinganartini:** trying to mediate the situation is all

**dinezor:** there are no “sides” this isn’t some battle

**lotoreal:** they called off the alliance

**lotoreal:** battle lines have been drawn

**dinezor:** / o h  m y  g o d  you are so dramatic/

**acxalutelynot:** fine, you can say whatever you want to them, but don’t complain to us if things go downhill

**lotoreal:** is this what betrayal feels like

**dinezor:** erhrtdgtrfdersd THERE IS NO BETRAYAL THERE ARE NO SIDES THERE IS NO BATTLE

 

**_Let’s Go GNO_ **

**dinezor:** WHY IS HE LIKE THIS

**acxalutelynot:** i wish i knew

**sippinganartini:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**zethridofmyproblems:** should we like, give a head’s up to them that lotor might talk to them

**zethridofmyproblems:** just so no one’s face gets smashed in

**dinezor:** you know a situation is wild when zethrid is advocating peace

**zethridofmyproblems:** i’m not going to be the one bringing lotor down to the nurse if lance or keith loses their shit

**acxalutelynot:** so i seriously doubt there’ll be a physical confrontation, so maybe chill?

**dinezor:** she’s got a point, let’s just watch the situation play out

**zethridofmyproblems:** this should be fun

**zethridofmyproblems:** anyone got popcorn

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** lance is the quietest he’s ever been

**hunkerdunker:** it’s like someone sucked the soul out of him

**lanceylance:** vocal rest 

**hunkerdunker:** yes but there’s no life in your eyes buddy

**lanceylance:** i’m so tired

**allurable:** GO TO THE NURSE AND GO HOME

**lanceylance:** no, i have to make it to rehearsal

**shayfromstatefarm:** where did you get this mindset that school and rehearsal come before your health

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** i may appear dead but i’m still feeling better than keith

**kogayne:** are you doing this on purpose

**lanceylance:** maybe

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** what’s wrong

**lanceylance:** ???????????? i’m sick????????????????????

**kogayne:** and that’s it, the only reason you’re dead today?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** thanks for checking in though

**lanceylance:** how are you holding up

**kogayne:** i could be better

**lanceylance:** why don’t you just go home

**lanceylance:** pls take care of urself :(

**kogayne:** remember yesterday

**lanceylance:** :((( don’t hold my actions against me

**kogayne:** >:(((

**lanceylance:** keith pls don’t collapse i don’t like seeing u in pain

**lanceylance:** u literally almost passed out in antok’s class

**kogayne:** you almost passed out at the end of rehearsal yesterday

**lanceylance:** shhh that was yesterday, don’t be like me

**kogayne:** >:(((((((

**lanceylance:** babe pls at least EAT SOMETHING

**lanceylance:** EAT BEFORE U DIE

**kogayne:** i can’t even think about food

**lanceylance:** tell me you’ve at least been drinking water 

**kogayne:** i’ve gone through a bottle and a half already

**lanceylance:** what the fuck 

**lanceylance:** please go home

**kogayne:** no

**lanceylance:** hhhhhhh then at least, during rehearsal, chill in the auditorium instead of ur car, just so i know ur okay

**kogayne:** okay

**lanceylance:** i’ll see you at lunch

**lanceylance:** just one more period 

**lanceylance:** i love you

**kogayne:** i love you too 

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** lunch update: they’re both sick as hell and still here

_ (1) photo from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**allurable:** aw they’re being soft

**takashmeoutside:** they’re being soft but they look like shit

**allurable:** don’t be mean to them 

**allurable:** they’re not causing trouble let them be

**takashmeoutside:** keith should’ve stayed home

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance says he’s too lazy to actually text the group chat back but he’d like everyone to know that while he agrees with shiro he also appreciates his boyfriend so, and i quote, “¯\\_(ツ)_/¯”

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith would like to add a half-hearted “he’s not my real dad”

**shayfromstatefarm:** he would be more enthusiastic but he feels like death 

**takashmeoutside:** should’ve stayed hoooome

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith resents that

**carrierpidgeon:** for someone angry he sure looks exhausted

**carrierpidgeon:** how is sitting like that comfortable

**carrierpidgeon:** the lunch tables do not make for optimal “leaning on the person sitting next to you” conditions

**carrierpidgeon:** and yet, they’re wearing each other like freakin blankets

**hunkerdunker:** [long sigh]

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance would like to assert that “i love my boyfriend keith kogane i will be his blanket if he so desires”

**hunkerdunker:** “which i do”

**takashmeoutside:** they’re both going to come back here at the end of rehearsal and just lie on the floor crying i’m calling it now

**mattata:** hi, just woke up, what the fuck,

**mattata:** shiro and pidge are both gonna catch this and then get /me/ sick and i will fucking kill lance and keith

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith challenges you to come at him

**mattata:** ew no i’m staying healthy be gone demons

**allurable:** wait can we focus on the fact that he just woke up

**takashmeoutside:** i mean it’s only like 11:30

**mattata:** yeah it’s not like it’s like 1 

**carrierpidgeon:** that still doesn’t make it reasonable

**mattata:** u have no right to talk, miss “wakes up at 3 PM on saturdays”

**carrierpidgeon:** that is a blatant lie and you know it

**mattata:** >:\

**carrierpidgeon:** >:P

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** update 554: we’re doing a lab, 

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re willing to trade klance for pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** HELL YEAH SCIENCE

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING

**shayfromstatefarm:** electric fields and electric potential

**carrierpidgeon:** S C I E N C E

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** come back to the house seats i’m lonely

**lanceylance:** we’re staging another scene in literally 2 minutes

**kogayne:** laaaaaaaance

**lanceylance:** you’re either mean or extremely clingy when you’re sick 

**kogayne:** LAAAAAAAAAANCE

**lanceylance:** just this scene then i’m off for a while

**lanceylance:** also i’m driving us home, i don’t trust you behind the wheel in your current state

**kogayne:** hurry uuuuuuup

**lanceylance:** would you like to tell that to the director

**kogayne:** don’t test me i’ll fuckign do it

**kogayne:** i’ll cough in his face

**lanceylance:** how about don’t, or else you could get kicked out of crew,

**kogayne:** hhnnggggg fine

**lanceylance:** lance is sick → keith is responsible

**lanceylance:** lance is sick AND keith is sick → lance resumes role as responsible one

**kogayne:** Impulse Control

**lanceylance:** smh what would you do if we weren’t dating, what if we weren’t even friends

**kogayne:** shiro is then my impulse control

**lanceylance:** but he doesn’t go to school with us

**kogayne:** theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen i probably would’ve been expelled already

**lanceylance:** dammit keith

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** smh sit tight i’ll be done here soon

**lanceylance:** maybe if you’re good we can stop at dunkin

**kogayne:** don’t patronize me like i’m five

**lanceylance:** pls the only 5 you are is on a scale of one to four

**kogayne:** :)

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** finally, they Rest

**shayfromstatefarm:** about time

**takashmeoutside:** also if you value your health stay away from me, i just sneezed

**carrierpidgeon:** The First Sign

**mattata:** nice knowing ya, granola bar

**hunkerdunker:** rip in pieces

**takashmeoutside:** ...don’t you mean rest in peace

**hunkerdunker:** rip in pieces

**allurable:** destroy the disease

**takashmeoutside:** ….i’m making sure to bolt my doors now thanks

**allurable:** shay, pidge, we’re breaking in

**takashmeoutside:** oh hell no

**allurable:** we’re coming, takashi

**takashmeoutside:** stay back, heathens

**carrierpidgeon:** bye shiro

**shayfromstatefarm:** you had a good run

**takashmeoutside:** i feel completely and utterly bETRAYED

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i forgot to put the poem thing in the last few end notes, so here it is!!! pls be nice!!!! if u don't like it then kindly not say anything xoxo
> 
>  
> 
> **Filiae Domini**
> 
> Artemis mourns with bared teeth and ripped targets-turned-quivers  
> every girl victim to terror and coercion and lies,  
> manipulation, self-doubt, scrutiny, scandal, every girl paralyzed;  
>  _You are safe with me,_ and the arrow strikes home. _I am now your caregiver._
> 
> Athena attacks with a balance, justice and calculated derision.  
> Disbelief and patronization, Athena hurls back at her tormentors;  
> tears them a new one, rips ideas to pieces and reconstructs from the ground up,  
> a reputation built on needle-heads with unparalleled precision.
> 
> Persephone’s smiles are sickly-sweet as the flowers that led her to the Underworld  
> as she takes a seed, two, three then four, five then six, and knocks them back.  
>  _My destiny is my own, and I have decided this:_  
>  a life reclaimed, a chosen path unfurled. 
> 
> Aphrodite leads with frills and lace and half-lidded eyes—  
> some call them seafoam, others sapphire, still others veridian—  
> a connection established, this might be love, until Aphrodite turns;  
> love is a game, play and play wise.
> 
> _We are more than your daughters,  
>  more than saucer-eyed lambs raised for slaughter._  
> Sister, daughter, mother, aunt, cousin, friend;  
> do not be surprised when the goddess has had enough, and strikes back.
> 
> anyway thanks
> 
> for everyone reading sgd, since i'm feeling generous, here's a hint for chapter 18 (when's it coming? idfk): Local Gay Space Emo Wants To Fight Disembodied Robot Voice
> 
>  
> 
> if you're not reading sgd, or dsn in general, you should, here's [wpgtd](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539%22), the first fic in the trilogy :)


	52. happiness doesn't last forever kiddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the Angst returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wasn't really gonna write a wednesday chapter but then i got into it but then it got even longer bc someone in the comments mentioned the Thing abt the woods and i've been meaning to find a way to work some more abt that in and then i figured something out so hi hello the angst returns

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** good morning everyone

**madplax:** according to our director, bc of schedule conflicts and our half day, rehearsal

**madplax:** [deep breath]

**lanceylance:** ur killin me plax

**madplax:** is cancelled

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** rehearsal is fucking what

**kogayne:** why is this the text i wake up to

**kogayne:** outside of the drama chat

**lanceylance:** we literally cut rehearsal short yesterday

**lanceylance:** and now you’re telling me wE DON’T HAVE IT TODAY

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**hunkerdunker:** isn’t the show like, in under a month

**dinezor:** yes

**lotoreal:** we have had two rehearsals.

**lotoreal:** two.

**floronawiththecorona:** we haven’t even reached the halfway point in staging yet

**madplax:** look i don’t make the schedule don’t take it out on me

**lanceylance:** we’re not we’re all just Shook this is not what i expected when i opened my messages this morning

**madplax:** i didn’t expect the email i got but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m sorry but how are we going to pull this off

**madplax:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ (these smiley faces are crying on the inside)

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** uggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh tell the drama chat to shut uuuppppp

**lanceylance:** someone’s not feeling well still, are they

**kogayne:** u recover so quickly from this shit it’s nOT FAIR

**lanceylance:** i was sick for (2) days

**lanceylance:** today is your day 2

**lanceylance:** are you going to stay home today

**kogayne:** ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮

**kogayne:** hell 2 the fuckign NO

**lanceylance:** did you just unironically use 2 in place of to

**kogayne:** what kind of heathen do you take me for, that was purely ironic

**kogayne:** anyway i’m going to school

**lanceylance:** i’m about to go into your room and tie you to your bed so you can’t leave

**kogayne:** do i have to kinkshame you now

**lanceylance:** it’s only kinky if you make it kinky

**kogayne:** well, i made it kinky

**lanceylance:** apparently, which means /i/ have to kinkshame /you/

**kogayne:** oh /please/

**lanceylance:** are you being sassy with me right now

**lanceylance:** keith kogane it is barely 7 AM

**kogayne:** maybe i am, what are you gonna do about it

**lanceylance:** i am right down the hall i will kick ur ass

**kogayne:** come at me

**lanceylance:** u asked for it

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**takashmeoutside:** this is a callout for keith and lance: fuck you, i’m sick

**takashmeoutside:** also: THESE THINGS ARE NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR THIS MORNING, YOU TWO SHOULD BE GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL

**allurable:** do i even want to know

**takashmeoutside:** no

**mattata:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**kogayne:** it’s called multitasking

**takashmeoutside:** you, sir, are staying home, you’ll only be missing a half day

**kogayne:** um, no, it’s a half day, i can plow through

**takashmeoutside:** half the school is going to get sick and it’ll be your fault

**kogayne:** i can live with that

**kogayne:** and actually, lance got me sick and is /still/ sick so it’s his fault really

**lanceylance:** boi

**kogayne:** if i go down i’m taking u with me

**lanceylance:** >:(

**kogayne:** what happened to liking vengeful petty keith hmmmmm?

**lanceylance:** HE’S NOT ATTRACTIVE WHEN HE’S ATTACKING /ME/

**carrierpidgeon:** so are u guys getting coffee this morning bc i could really use some

**lanceylance:** what’s in it for me

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ if i get sick i place all the blame on keith?

**lanceylance:** FAIR ENOUGH

**kogayne:** wtf we’re taking /my/ car

**lanceylance:** sit ur ass down im driving 

**takashmeoutside:** yeah lance is driving i don’t trust u to drive in ur current state of health

**kogayne:** I FEEL ATTACKED

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s too early for this

**shayfromstatefarm:** calm down lovebirds

**kogayne:** i am not in love i am angry

**lanceylance:** sORRY i CARE ABOUT UR HEALTH

**kogayne:** DO YOU

**lanceylance:** STAY HOME

**kogayne:** NO

**takashmeoutside:** WOULD YOU CHILL

**kogayne:** NO

**lanceylance:** FUCK NO

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** MMMMMM SOMEONE IS REALIZING THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS

**kogayne:** MY BRAIN WILL NOT COMPUTE ANYTHING ULAZ IS SAYING

**lanceylance:** THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR COMING IN

**kogayne:** HHHHHHHHHHHHH

**lanceylance:** KARMA

**kogayne:** :(((((( i feel like crap :(((((((((

**lanceylance:** WHY DIDN’T YOU STAY HOME

**kogayne:** don’t yell at me :(

**lanceylance:** boi we were yelling two minutes ago

**kogayne:** :(((((

**lanceylance:** wow ur moods flip like THAT when ur sick 

**kogayne:** :((((((((((((((((( im sorry for being mean in the group chat this morning :(((((

**lanceylance:** aw wait do u think i’m actually mad

**kogayne:** …………….maaaaaaaaybe

**lanceylance:** babe noooooo

**lanceylance:** ahhh shhhhhhhhh it’s a half day we’ll be reunited soon, u can nap on me if u need

**kogayne:** :)))))) i love you 

**lanceylance:** i love you too 

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** I JUST COUGHED

**hunkerdunker:** OH NO

**hunkerdunker:** SAVE YOURSELVES

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ve spent too much time together, it’s too late for me

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU HEATHENS

**carrierpidgeon:** MATT’S BEEN WITH SHIRO AND NOW SHIRO IS SICK, BOY BETTER STAY AWAY FROM ME

**allurable:** we spent the weekend with shay

**allurable:** i’ve been with matt and shiro this week

**allurable:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE TO BE STRONG

**mattata:** i was wondering where this runny nose came from

**carrierpidgeon:** i am surrounded by diSEASE

**mattata:** the walking dead but the walkers are everyone who’s sick

**kogayne:** hhhhhhhnnnnnnnnn

**mattata:** look keith’s got it down

**kogayne:** it is 3rd period,

**kogayne:** and my brain does not understand calculus

**lanceylance:** oh how the turntables

**lanceylance:** is it really that hard

**kogayne:** probably not

**kogayne:** i just

**kogayne:** nothing is making sense today i just want to lie down why are we learning new things our next exam is friday and aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** why didn’t you stay home

**kogayne:** I HALF TO PLOW THROUGH

**carrierpidgeon:** why not quarter plow through

**hunkerdunker:** or eighth

**mattata:** you fifth to plow through huh

**kogayne:** fuck

**lanceylance:** wow you’re really sick

**kogayne:** thanks captain obvious

**lanceylance:** oh my god he even called me a nickname someone call the ambulance

**kogayne:** fuck ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooff

**lanceylance:** no can do, i’ll be seeing you in two periods

**kogayne:** hhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**lanceylance:** boi

**kogayne:** does anyone have advil

**kogayne:** or robitussin 

**kogayne:** or tylenol

**kogayne:** or literally anything useful

**hunkerdunker:** yes, actually

**hunkerdunker:** i have robitussin

**lanceylance:** why do you have /robitussin/

**hunkerdunker:** i came prepared

**hunkerdunker:** i may have dropped boy scouts after fourth grade but i did not drop my preparedness

**lanceylance:** ...this is good to know, actually

**hunkerdunker:** that doesn’t mean you can go and be reckless and expect me to give u bandaids and medicine every other day

**lanceylance:** u better be talking to keith and not me

**hunkerdunker:** @ both of you

**hunkerdunker:** and @ PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** excuse mE?

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING THIS YEAR TO WARRANT THIS

**hunkerdunker:** it’s just a matter of time

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM OFFENDED

**hunkerdunker:** don’t ask me for advil next time you have a headache bc you’re not sleeping properly

**carrierpidgeon:** unfriended blocked reported

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**dinezor:** did it just hit anyone else, like for real, that the show is in under a month

**dinezor:** what are we doing about the ad book

**dinezor:** what about sets

**dinezor:** SANDWICH BOARDS?

**dinezor:** COSTUMES???

**floronawiththecorona:** don’t forget we have to be off-book by the monday after thanksgiving break

**madplax:** that’s so soon kms

**lanceylance:** we’ll have had (6) rehearsals before then

**dinezor:** WHY DID WE START SO LATE, WHY CAN’T WE GO BACK TO DOING AUDITIONS IN SEPTEMBER AND BEGINNING REHEARSALS IN OCTOBER

**madplax:** i don’t make the decisions here

**lotoreal:** are we actually going to pull off this show?

**lanceylance:** i will cut off my right foot to make this show happen if it comes down to it

**lotoreal:** that was...oddly specific.

**hunkerdunker:** that’s just lance

**lotoreal:** ...i see…

**madplax:** also, lance,

**lanceylance:** yeaaaah?

**madplax:** if you get this whole cast sick you’re dead to me

**lanceylance:** wow just expose me to the whole group chat

**lanceylance:** at least it’s not the week of the show, do you remember the musical last year

**madplax:** HELL ON EARTH

**hunkerdunker:** you all drained my supply of cough medicine

**lanceylance:** i wish i knew of your supply of cough medicine

**shayfromstatefarm:** all because of myzax, had to go get the WHOLE CAST SICK BC HE WOULDN’T STAY HOME

**lanceylance:** are you trying to say something here, shay

**zethridofmyproblems:** if you become the myzax of this production

**lanceylance:** I WOULD NEVER

**lanceylance:** listen, if we all get sick now, there’s less of a chance we get sick again the week of the show, so like,,,,

**madplax:** i feel like there’s flawed logic in there somewhere

**hunkerdunker:** as usual

**lanceylance:** fuck u hunk

**hunkerdunker:** no thanks i have a gf

**lanceylance:** :O

**lanceylance:** are u trying to earn cool points by roasting me in front of everyone

**lanceylance:** [clutches chest] i am Wounded

**kogayne:** okay lbr the reason everyone got sick last year was bc we were all crammed in the auditorium and choir room for like, 6+ hours every day after school

**kogayne:** this week is only like, 2 hours a day so far

**kogayne:** and we’re not all stuck in the choir room doing makeup and costumes

**kogayne:** so i mean, like,,,,,, u shouldn’t really get sick this week

**madplax:** boi u don’t have to kiss lance during staging

**dinezor:** ^^^^^

**lanceylance:** mmmmm but he wishes he did

**carrierpidgeon:** is no group chat sacred

**acxalutelynot:** ez, if lance gets you sick, you’re staying very far away from me

**dinezor:** i will become the clingiest bitch in the game

**acxalutelynot:** lance, if i get sick,

**lanceylance:** NOT MY FAULT SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**lanceylance:** i’m almost better anyway, and we haven’t staged any kiss scenes yet

**dinezor:** define “almost better”

**lanceylance:** i’m in that stage where my nose gets clearer when i blow it instead of feeling 10x stuffier

**lanceylance:** and also my cough is dry

**dinezor:** good to know

**lanceylance:** KEITH ON THE OTHER HAND

**kogayne:** why

**lanceylance:** because i can

**lanceylance:** someone help him

**kogayne:** >:\

**lanceylance:** :)

**floronawiththecorona:** so is rehearsal gonna run long tomorrow to compensate for us losing out on today

**madplax:** i wish i had an answer

**lotoreal:** i wish we had a coherent schedule, so i could plan my life.

**lanceylance:** i try to be flexible, both physically and metaphorically

**carrierpidgeon:** and we’re going to leave it there

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** they were already sending whoops

**carrierpidgeon:** you are already dead to me

**lanceylance:** u little shit i got u coffee this morning

**carrierpidgeon:** ;)

**lanceylance:** why are we friends

**carrierpidgeon:** because of keith and hunk

**zethridofmyproblems:** really?

**hunkerdunker:** space nerd squad

**kogayne:** yeah our families have a history

**kogayne:** tldr pidge is basically my little sister

**kogayne:** even when she’s a pain in the ass

**carrierpidgeon:** i have to stay on-brand

**madplax:** doesn’t everyone nowadays

**carrierpidgeon:** sometimes brands evolve, my evolution will come eventually

**madplax:** i wish the evolution of this show would come

**madplax:** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** i have so many monologues to memorize :(

**madplax:** better be done by the 27th have fun

**hunkerdunker:** “fun” hahahahahahaha good one

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** i had no idea that the small holt was linked to the group through kogane and garrett

**sippinganartini:** what did i miss

**zethridofmyproblems:** drama chat

**sippinganartini:** elaborate please

**dinezor:** pidge is friends w lance bc of keith and hunk

**dinezor:** something about space and families

**lotoreal:** how interesting

**acxalutelynot:** you sound like you’re scheming

**lotoreal:** i’m not

**dinezor:** [squints] i don’t believe you

**lotoreal:** i’m not.

**zethridofmyproblems:** oh boy he threw in a period how intimidating

**lotoreal:** >:|

**acxalutelynot:** do you think we’re afraid of emoticons

**dinezor:** two can play the emoticon game

**dinezor:** ┌∩┐(◕◡◉)┌∩┐

**sippinganartini:** my text-to-speech just freaked out on me

**sippinganartini:** i don’t have shortcuts in my phone for all of these

**sippinganartini:** just stick to the basics and even the shrugging one please

**sippinganartini:** or put the shortcuts in my phone

**dinezor:** after school i’ll put them in!!

**sippinganartini:** thank you

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** keirtght hlrpe

**kogayne:** what’s wrong??

**carrierpidgeon:** mentlwa brekaodwn

**kogayne:** hey take some deep breaths

**kogayne:** 4, 7, 8 you know what to do

**kogayne:** what’s wrong

**carrierpidgeon:** enflgush

**kogayne:** english??

**carrierpidgeon:** yewha

**carrierpidgeon:** ufck osoruyr   
****

**kogayne:** take your time

**carrierpidgeon:** in egnlsuh

**carrierpidgeon:** we’ree wathcing a mvire

**kogayne:** okay, you’re watching a movie, 

**carrierpidgeon:** no trigger wanring

**carrierpidgeon:** theowods

**kogayne:** oh my god

**kogayne:** where are you right now

**carrierpidgeon:** abthrom

**kogayne:** bathroom?

**carrierpidgeon:** eyah

**kogayne:** okay, i’m gonna send shay

**kogayne:** she’s leaving right now

**carrierpidgeon:** i tohuhgt i was pover it 

**kogayne:** it’s gonna take some time

**kogayne:** we’re here for you, okay?

**kogayne:** do you want me to see if matt can pick you up now?

**carrierpidgeon:** no the’res 1 peirod lieft

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** you’re okay

**carrierpidgeon:** whyis tsitl afecitng me

**kogayne:** suppression and being over it are two different things

**kogayne:** there are a lot of things i thought i was over but really just suppressed

**kogayne:** ignoring things or acting like they didn’t happen doesn’t just make them go away

**kogayne:** has this happened before? between the Thing and now?

**carrierpidgeon:** no

**carrierpidgeon:** if elel so wkea

**kogayne:** you’re not weak

**kogayne:** this is normal

**kogayne:** we’re gonna get through this, i promise

 

**_kogayne > mattata_ **

**kogayne:** pidge had a mental breakdown

**kogayne:** from what she told me i’m pretty sure she was watching a movie in english and some scene triggered a breakdown over what happened in the woods

**mattata:** oh my god

**mattata:** does she need to be picked up??

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** there’s only one period of school left, she wants to stay

**mattata:** are you with her right now?

**kogayne:** no, she was in the bathroom, i sent shay

**mattata:** i was waiting for the day this caught up to her

**mattata:** tbh i found it weird that she liked, stopped saying anything after the police interview, but i didn’t wanna just be like “HEY REMEMBER THIS TRAUMATIZING EVENT YEAH WHY DON’T YOU DISCUSS IT”

**kogayne:** yeah i understand

**mattata:** hbu, how are u holding up

**kogayne:** i’m okay

**kogayne:** at the moment, i’m more worried about her

**mattata:** alright

**mattata:** thanks for letting me know

 

**_mattata_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ , _ **_takashmeoutside_ ** _ , _ **_allurable_ ** _ , _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ , _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ , and  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ to  _ **_Protect Pidge 2k17_ **

**mattata:** shay and keith already know, but pidge had a breakdown today

**mattata:** over what happened last month in the woods

**takashmeoutside:** is she okay???

**shayfromstatefarm:** not 100% but she went back to class for period 7

**allurable:** :(

**mattata:** can everyone just...look out for her??? especially those of you in school with her??

**lanceylance:** of course

**kogayne:** we’ve got her back

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ll watch out

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^

 

**_mattata > takashmeoutside_ **

**mattata:** :(

**takashmeoutside:** i know

**mattata:** we still don’t know who did it, do we

**takashmeoutside:** i haven’t heard from the police since they interviewed keith and pidge, but as far as i know, the investigation is still open

**mattata:** those assholes are still roaming free and i am angry

**mattata:** if i could catch them myself i would

**takashmeoutside:** me too

 

**_lanceylance > carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** hey pidgeon

**lanceylance:** keith and i were gonna go to wendy’s after school, you wanna come?

**carrierpidgeon:** ...sure

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks

**lanceylance:** any time, meet @ grumpypant’s locker when the bell rings

 

**_lanceylance > mattata_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m taking her to wendy’s

**lanceylance:** so don’t bother showing up to pick her up

**lanceylance:** we’re going back to the brogane house after, if u wanna pick her up from there

**mattata:** alright, that gives me an excuse to make shiro eat something

**mattata:** thanks, lance

 

**_mattata > carrierpidgeon_ **

**mattata:** hey kiddo, you okay?

**carrierpidgeon:** i guess

**carrierpidgeon:** please don’t baby me

**mattata:** i’m not trying to, just checking in

**carrierpidgeon:** i know, i just

**carrierpidgeon:** i feel weak

**carrierpidgeon:** like emotionally

**carrierpidgeon:** keith already told me i’m not weak and that this is normal but,,,

**carrierpidgeon:** :(

**mattata:** keith is right, you’re not weak

**mattata:** you’re one of the strongest people i know, and i’m proud to call you my sister

**mattata:** this is gonna take time to heal from

**mattata:** we’re all gonna be here for you, every step of the way

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks matt

**carrierpidgeon:** i love u

**mattata:** love u too sis

**mattata:** now go enjoy ur nuggs and take the afternoon to relax

**mattata:** later, why don’t we work on rover together

**carrierpidgeon:** really??

**mattata:** yes really

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

 

**_Protect Pidge 2k17_ **

**kogayne:** so what’s up with pidge

**mattata:** we worked on rover, i convinced her to sit down and talk with our parents

**mattata:** they’re looking into counseling

**mattata:** they wanted to a month ago but pidge wouldn’t go through with it, but she’s finally opening up to it

**takashmeoutside:** keith was the same way

**kogayne:** don’t

**takashmeoutside:** offer still stands

**kogayne:** not now

**kogayne:** head is still fuzzy i don’t wanna think rn

**lanceylance:** >:(

**kogayne:** keep ur mouth shut

_ (3) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** this is who pidge is gonna be seeing if ur interested or change ur mind or whatever

**kogayne:** ...thanks

**mattata:** mmm

**mattata:** i’m gonna go now, she wants to watch monster movies and i’m gonna be a responsible older brother and watch with her

**mattata:** keith, get some sleep and take some medicine

**mattata:** shiro, eat something, get some sleep, take some medicine

**mattata:** lance, force them against their wills if they refuse

**lanceylance:** gotcha

**hunkerdunker:** hunk, shay, allura, go to sleep bc there’s school and work tomorrow

**hunkerdunker:** okay hunk!

**allurable:** i’m not going to work tomorrow, i’m sick

**hunkerdunker:** which is why i’m going to bed: so i can prevent sickness

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**kogayne:** must be nice

**lanceylance:** TAKE UR MEDICINE DAMMIT

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey this is ur good night check-in

**lanceylance:** did you take the medicine i left on ur nightstand

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** are you lying

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** no

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** are you okay

**lanceylance:** like mentally

**lanceylance:** after today

**kogayne:** yeah, i mean

**kogayne:** seeing pidge in distress made me pretty uncomfortable, but i’m okay now, i guess

**lanceylance:** dude, i am saying this to you as your boyfriend and as someone who cares about your health: please get counseling

**lanceylance:** i saw your texts with pidge during study, i know you’ve been suppressing it too

**lanceylance:** do you remember when i showed up in the middle of the night bc you were having a breakdown?

**kogayne:** ...yeah

**lanceylance:** you haven’t said anything after that

**lanceylance:** it’s concerning

**lanceylance:** please, get counseling

**lanceylance:** i’ll even go with you

**kogayne:** ...fine

**kogayne:** not now tho, i’m going to bed now

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** good night

**kogayne:** night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when will the ability to pop my ears return from war  
> (it's been 3 days, they're so pressurized, sos)
> 
> also, that part in "the play" on the bmc soundtrack where everyone just starts screaming? that's Relatable as fuck
> 
> ALSO SO THAT BIT ABOUT THE CAST GETTING SICK THE WEEK OF THE SHOW
> 
> lemme set the scene: it is the week of our opening night. we are putting on the sound of music. captain von trapp gets sick at the end of tech week.  
> by the following monday, half the cast has caught his disease. by thursday, opening night, pretty much all of the leads (captain von trapp's friends, including myself) are coughing up lungs, chugging cold medicine, eating cough drops like they're candy, and drinking water to the point we're peeing every half hour. all of us end up on voluntary vocal rest during the school day just so we can ruin our voices at the show. by the finale of closing night, half the cast can barely talk bc we're losing our voices. it was a MESS i hope it doesn't happen again this year jeez louise


	53. drug dog day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just leave ur drugs at home for fuck's sake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO SORRY THERE WASN'T A THURSDAY CHAPTER i spent all afternoon doing college shit bc it suddenly hit me in a blind panic that i am very behind on apps and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> so we're gonna pretend all that happened was everyone complained about disease and had rehearsal
> 
> HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER (this is indeed taking place on a friday) (sorry it's short i'm very tired)

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** do you ever stay awake all night bc you had an anxiety attack abt college bc you realize you’re so behind bc kids are already getting accepted to places and you still haven’t applied anywhere and if you don’t apply soon you won’t get into your top school and you’re going to amount to nothing and be a giant failure and all of your hopes and dreams are dead and then the anxiety over all of this prevents you from actually being productive

**kogayne:** actually i was up all night bc of a stuffy nose and this cough but yikes

**kogayne:** sorry that came off rude

**kogayne:** and so did that ethrtrjkjqwwrkqkdldasdl how are you right now

**lanceylance:** FREAKIN OUT MAN

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP, I NEED TO HAVE EVERYTHING READY TO TALK TO GUIDANCE BY MONDAY OR ELSE I MIGHT NOT MAKE THE DEADLINE FOR A SCHOLARSHIP TO THE GARRISON SCHOOL

**kogayne:** ...FYUCK  I HAHEBT STSARTED

**lanceylance:** OH COOL GLAD WE’RE IN THE SAME BOAT

**kogayne:** IF WE GO DOWN WE GO DOWN TOGETHER

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i just love drug dog day

**kogayne:** im trapped in fucking calculus

**lanceylance:** sucks to SUCK hunk shay and i are with thace

**lanceylance:** aka i got him to proofread one of my college essays 

**kogayne:** mUST BE NICE

**mattata:** ahh drug dog day, the most Iconic one happened my senior year

**shayfromstatefarm:** why is everything senior year with you

**mattata:** coincidence

**takashmeoutside:** i remember that omfg

**allurable:** BIGGEST BUST IN THE SCHOOL

**hunkerdunker:** ohhhhhhh is that the one teachers sometimes reference all cryptic-like

**takashmeoutside:** twenty-seven kids

**takashmeoutside:** excluding the freshmen

**kogayne:** /excluding/

**mattata:** THIRTY FRESHMEN

**allurable:** the funky 57

**mattata:** a group of which i was not part

**carrierpidgeon:** i’d say i don’t believe u but mom and dad would’ve killed you for being caught in something like that, and you’re still alive, so

**mattata:** i am hurt, ye of little faith

**kogayne:** ryner just

**kogayne:** keeps assigning busywork, bc lance’s class can’t take our exam so neither can we

**kogayne:** LET ME OUT OF THIS HELLSCAPE

**lanceylance:** i would rescue you but like, they won’t let us out

**lanceylance:** i’m not gonna get told off by a cop

**takashmeoutside:** yes, good, let me emphasize: please, NOBODY GET TOLD OFF BY A COP

**carrierpidgeon:** i am going to proceed to be told off by an enforcer of the law

**takashmeoutside:** why are you like this

**carrierpidgeon:** because reasons

**carrierpidgeon:** hey keith do you know how to do this problem

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** ew you’re stuck in math too, you poor unfortunate soul

**lanceylance:** did you just reference the little mermaid

**kogayne:** ...no

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** eW IS THAT THE UNIT CIRCLE

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**kogayne:** ugh hold on

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** that’s how you do it

**carrierpidgeon:** THANKS HUNK

**kogayne:** thanks for saving me from doing that hunk

**lanceylance:** update: a paper airplane just hit the back of my head

**lanceylance:** this is war

**kogayne:** who

**lanceylance:** who the fuck do you think would bother me on a glorious friday with something as childish as folded paper

**hunkerdunker:** throw it back, this is what happens when the administration puts us in an enclosed environment for longer than usual

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk is advocating violence this is where i log tf out of this reality bc it’s the wrong one

**hunkerdunker:** it’s paper

**carrierpidgeon:** the trees send their regards

**lanceylance:** if i throw it back do you think he’ll get pissed bc he can’t take his own medicine

**kogayne:** throw it

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’d say don’t but i don’t care anymore, i just need to leave this classroom

**carrierpidgeon:** i wanna know what idiot made us have to have a drug search

**carrierpidgeon:** i should be in civics destroying at kahoot right now

**hunkerdunker:** isn’t kahoot a last minute thing and not a planned-ahead thing

**carrierpidgeon:** not according to my teachers

**carrierpidgeon:** kahoot is a battle to be prepared for, and i was prepared to WIN

**lanceylance:** so i threw it back and paul was about to like, deck me 

**lanceylance:** and thace gave him this LOOK

**kogayne:** good

**kogayne:** no one touches lance 

**lanceylance:** oooh Protective Keith™

**lanceylance:** smh why is zarkon on the intercom if he’s not lifting the stay-put

**kogayne:** …

**hunkerdunker:** oh are you fucking kidding me

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’re going to smell the food in my backpack

**carrierpidgeon:** wait, keith, we’re in the same wing,,,,

**lanceylance:** AND THEY CALLED OUR WING TOO

**carrierpidgeon:** !!!!

**lanceylance:** GANG SHIT

**hunkerdunker:** that sounded so white

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** LANCE

**allurable:** bonnie and clyde return

**takashmeoutside:** oh jiminy christmas

**kogayne:** what if i reverted to my emo phase to spite shiro

**lanceylance:** goodbye carefree cool kid reputation 

**shayfromstatefarm:** are you talking about your reputation or keith’s 

**lanceylance:** yes

**kogayne:** >:/

**lanceylance:** i loooove yoooouuuuuu

**carrierpidgeon:** gross

**takashmeoutside:** someone explain what’s going on

**kogayne:** locker search isn’t good enough, they’re calling us out of class to the auditorium and making us leave our backpacks

**carrierpidgeon:** all they’re gonna find in mine is goldfish and unfinished english homework but okay

**lanceylance:** all i have is lotion and stress

**mattata:** why do you have lotion

**lanceylance:** so my stress wrinkles go away

**kogayne:** nothing but cough drops and desperation

**allurable:** ah keith with the hard drugs

**kogayne:** yeah, all those green apple luden’s for this fUCKING COUGH THAT WON’T GO AWAY, WHY DOES LANCE RECOVER FROM DISEASE SO FAST

**lanceylance:** big family

**lanceylance:** the answer is always big family

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** hey where are you people

**hunkerdunker:** back row, closest to the exit

**carrierpidgeon:** AHA

**lanceylance:** i see sickypants approacheth

**kogayne:** i resent that nickname

**lanceylance:** sickypaaaaaaaaaaaaaants :)

**takashmeoutside:** keith and i are sickypants 2

**kogayne:** no, only i get that nickname, be gone, germyjeans

**mattata:** GERMYJEANS 

**allurable:** I’M WHEIZIZNG

**takashmeoutside:** SHUT UP YOU’RE BOTH SICK TOO

**hunkerdunker:** if only you people slept and ate properly

**hunkerdunker:** you know who only had a cough for two days? THIS KID

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOU KNOW WHO NEVER CAUGHT YOUR DISEASE

**shayfromstatefarm:** /THIS/ KID

**kogayne:** must be nice

**lanceylance:** i’m pretty sure half the cast is sick now 

**carrierpidgeon:** plax is gonna kick ur ass today

**lanceylance:** yeah probably

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** etrgnytyresfrntyntrse there are like six kids in the office i just passed the window

**allurable:** rip

**mattata:** recognize any of them??

**lanceylance:** two seniors, the rest idfk

**takashmeoutside:** when will these kids learn keep your drugs at home or on your person

**carrierpidgeon:** honestly smh

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** you rang?

**madplax:** I WOKE UP WITH A SORE THROAT

**floronawiththecorona:** I CAN’T STOP SNEEZING

**dinezor:** stay away from me nope not gettin sick nope not doin it

**carrierpidgeon:** here i’ll change the subject really quick: CREW KIDS, TODAY WE CLEAN THE /DUNGEON/

**kogayne:** we haven’t touched the dungeon since my freshman year

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah well according to the office that’s what we’re doing today

**kogayne:** THERE’S PROBABLY MORE DISEASE DOWN THERE

**lanceylance:** ripperoni

**lotoreal:** ah, this explains why i woke up with my sinuses clogged

**acxalutelynot:** it’s what he deserves

**lotoreal:** thanks acxa

**acxalutelynot:** you’re welcome lotor

**hunkerdunker:** do we have a timeframe on rehearsal today

**madplax:** shouldn’t be any later than 4 but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**madplax:** u know how these things go

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** ...is that you in the corner

**lanceylance:** maybe

**kogayne:** what the fuck were you doing

**lanceylance:** it’s called “trying to nap before we stage my next scene”

**kogayne:** are you sure you weren’t trying to audition for the role of contortionist in the circus

**lanceylance:** I WILL SLEEP WHEREVER I CAN

**lanceylance:** AND WHERE ARE YOU THAT YOU CAN SEE ME

**kogayne:** look up

**lanceylance:** oh hi

**kogayne:** ...so there’s no one else watching us rn…

**lanceylance:** :)

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** you and lance weren’t slick earlier

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** i send you back to the stage for five minutes to go find one of the flats and this is what you do 

**kogayne:** WHO RATTED ME OUT

**carrierpidgeon:** my lips are sealed

**kogayne:** smh

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway, um, i meant to ask earlier, but forgot when we were moving all that stuff

**carrierpidgeon:** are you actually gonna get counseling

**kogayne:** oh   
****

**kogayne:** i guess so, yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** i have my first session tomorrow

**carrierpidgeon:** can you come with me?

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean if it’s not a problem and if it is that’s totally fine but 

**carrierpidgeon:** i would really appreciate it if you could

**kogayne:** yeah of course

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks keith

**carrierpidgeon:** i really, really appreciate it

**kogayne:** no problem 

**kogayne:** i’ve got your back

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey so you don’t need to go with me to counseling

**lanceylance:** ???????????? u sure??

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** pidge’s first session is tomorrow, and she asked me to go with her

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** if either of you need anything lmk

**lanceylance:** i love you

**kogayne:** i love u too, get some sleep tonight

**lanceylance:** speak for urself sickypants

**kogayne:** >:(

**lanceylance:** :)  <3

**kogayne:** [long sigh]  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so there was a drug search at school today lmfao
> 
> i spend 2nd and 3rd period in the same classroom, and the drug search started 3rd period and went all the way to the beginning of 5. i spent tWO AND A HALF HOURS IN THAT DAMN CLASSROOM. 
> 
> ALSO I HAD MY SECOND CALC EXAM TODAY. I FAILED THE LAST ONE BUT I GOT A B ON THIS ONE, YA GIRL IS IMPROVING
> 
> anyway see u in the saturday chapter, assuming i find the time to write one (i wanna finish chapter 18 of sgd but we'll see)


	54. protect pidge and keith 2kforever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> counseling didn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so one, sorry this is going up so late on a sunday night
> 
> two, **this is a pretty sensitive chapter and i need to put disclaimers**  
>  1\. i've never been to therapy myself, but i've had friends who had, and i did some research on how a session is supposed to go down (also, all of my friends who have had therapy have, most of the time, hated it, so i mean...i hope i'm not too far off) so just call me out if i fucked up  
> 2\. i have some ~mildly political opinions~ in this chapter, but especially in one section with pidge, shay, and allura, you don't have to agree with them but please don't blow up in the comments section like "nOT ALL MEN" or something like that, i'm an ace girl writing from the pov of an ace girl on rape culture so i mean !!!!  
> 3\. i don't have a third thing this is me just fulfilling the rule of threes,,, uhhhhh if anything is super problematic lemme know???? thanks

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** good morning

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t wanna do this

**kogayne:** yeah me neither, but it’s supposed to help

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhnnn i know

**kogayne:** am i picking you up? are your parents picking me up? are we meeting up?

**carrierpidgeon:** matt’s bringing me, we can pick you up

**kogayne:** is matt there to make sure we actually go and don’t skip

**carrierpidgeon:** maybe

**kogayne:** of course

**kogayne:** alright

**carrierpidgeon:** we’ll be at ur house in about 20, be ready

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** GREAT NEWS EVERYONE

**carrierpidgeon:** I NEED A DIFFERENT COUNSELOR BECAUSE /WHAT THE FUCK/

**kogayne:** a trainwreck

**takashmeoutside:** i’m almost afraid to ask

**mattata:** it was so bad we literally got up and walked out

**carrierpidgeon:** MMMMMMMMMMMM I’M SO PISSED

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM NOT IN A GOOD ENOUGH HEADSPACE TO TALK ABOUT THIS

 

**_Protect Pidge 2k17_ **

**mattata:** before anyone freaks out and spams pidge’s phone, she /really/ doesn’t wanna talk to anyone

**mattata:** she’s with me, she’s currently killing off every character in until dawn to release her frustration

**mattata:** but seriously, she doesn’t want to talk to anyone

**mattata:** don’t text her

**allurable:** what happened?

**mattata:** a lot

**kogayne:** okay so we start this whole thing off by walking in, and the counselor goes “i’m sorry, i’m supposed to be talking to a katie right now?”

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh jeez

**hunkerdunker:** was the counselor,,,

**kogayne:** oh of course he was

**hunkerdunker:** mm there we go, there’s problem 1

**kogayne:** so pidge goes, “i’m katie.” and the counselor’s like, “...you’re a girl?”

**lanceylance:** yikes

**hunkerdunker:** ??????????????? how the fuck

**mattata:** the haircut

**mattata:** he’s like “oh, sorry, you have a boys’ haircut”

**kogayne:** so pidge already didn’t like this guy and neither did i

**kogayne:** so afterward matt and i introduce ourselves and the guy looks at matt and pidge and is like “okay, so you two appear to be...siblings” like he had this pause bc he wasn’t about to misgender two people in 5 minutes

**kogayne:** and they’re like “yep”

**kogayne:** and he looks at me and goes “and who are you?” and i’m like “i’m keith”

**kogayne:** AND THIS GUY GOES 

**hunkerdunker:** oh no

**kogayne:** “oh, are you her boyfriend?”

**hunkerdunker:** NOOOOOOOOO

**shayfromstatefarm:** YIKES

**takashmeoutside:** holy shit

**kogayne:** so i look at matt, and i look at pidge, and i have to calmly explain to him,

**kogayne:** “sir, i’m gay.”

**lanceylance:** DSFGDSADTHNGFDGS DID YOU ACTUALLY SAY “SIR I’M GAY”

**kogayne:** with the most deadpan look i could muster

**kogayne:** SO THEN

**allurable:** please don’t

**kogayne:** THIS GUY LOOKS AT ME, AND LOOKS AT MATT,

**allurable:** NOOOOO

**mattata:** the Worst

**kogayne:** “...so you’re /his/ boyfriend”

**mattata:** “i’m seven years his senior and dating his brother, sir”

**kogayne:** “so...why is he here, exactly?”

**takashmeoutside:** HOW DOES THIS GUY HAVE A JOB HOLY FUCK

**kogayne:** we don’t fucking know

**kogayne:** so pidge is like “this is my session can we begin please, he’s here for moral support” and i mean, i’ll give the guy a little credit, he looked /really fucking embarrassed/ 

**mattata:** so we begin the session and pidge is already getting anxious, actively thinking about and recounting what happened

**kogayne:** she omitted the part where we were cryptid-hunting and just told the guy we were hiking and got off-trail wHILE RUNNING AWAY FROM WOULD-BE ATTACKERS

**mattata:** then she got to the part where they got to that dropoff that they fell down and explained how these guys were closing in and taunting her and knocked keith out and accidentally shoved him down the dropoff, and pidge went after him

**mattata:** and talked about how she broke her arm and he got his concussion and other injuries and stuff and how she LITERALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO DIE

**kogayne:** and she talked about how it was nighttime by the time you guys and the cops found us and we got taken to the hospital

**kogayne:** and throughout it all she was talking about how terrified she was bc she’s never been that vulnerable, she’s been to these woods before, she thought she was safe, all that emotional stuff

**mattata:** by the end of it she was having a full-blown anxiety attack, it was awful

**kogayne:** this guy must have a fuckign script or something and was still too embarrassed about the beginning of our thing to even be like, sympathetic or whatever, he’s just like, “and how has this situation impacted your life so far?”

**mattata:** mind you, SHE IS HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK

**mattata:** she just looks at me and keith

**kogayne:** my heart  b r o k e

**mattata:** so i stepped up and explained how like, she’s suppressed it and then it came out the other day and her emotions have been all over the place since

**mattata:** and how she’s lowkey afraid to be alone near any man over the age of like, 25 that isn’t immediate family or someone she feels comf with, like her teachers

**kogayne:** so this fucking /genius/ has a /brilliant/ idea for pidge

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh no

**kogayne:** it must’ve clicked with him, “hey, i’m a man not related to her over the age of 25”, so he advised /exposure therapy/ for her to /get over her fear of men/

**allurable:** WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** WRONG MOVE WRONG MOVE WRONG MOVE 

**shayfromstatefarm:** does he mean /live her everyday life/

**kogayne:** then he said we should go /back/ to the exact spot we fell down to /make our peace/ with it

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m losing my shit right now how is someone that dense

**hunkerdunker:** are we sure this guy even has a license

**kogayne:** idk tbh

**mattata:** and at this point even pidge, through a fucking anxiety attack, knows this guy is spewing bullshit and honestly it’s making things worse so we have to “step out”

**kogayne:** these fuckers left me alone with the guy

**kogayne:** and he turns to me and asks me about how i felt about everything

**lanceylance:** oh jeez

**kogayne:** and about how i felt about these men coming onto me

**lanceylance:** hE DIDN’T

**kogayne:** i literally walked out and told him he’d get his money but we were done

**kogayne:** matt dropped me off at home and now i guess he and pidge are in their basement playing until dawn???

**kogayne:** it was a fucking disaster i don’t know how that guy has a job

**takashmeoutside:** was he flustered

**kogayne:** mmhm

**takashmeoutside:** he was probably nervous and started saying the wrong things

**takashmeoutside:** i mean, that’s no excuse, he should be acting professional, but it offers an explanation

**mattata:** either way, we’re not going back to that guy, my parents are LIVID

**shayfromstatefarm:** HOW DOES HE HAVE A LICENSE

**kogayne:** idk but he should get it revoked tbh

**mattata:** does anyone have any suggestions for good counselors to go to

**allurable:** wait, did you guys actually look into who pidge was going to see

**mattata:** my dad did

**mattata:** pidge wasn’t having it, remember

**allurable:** what was the guy again

_ (3) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**allurable:** mmm okay bc if you look at some of his reviews

**allurable:** “awful” “worst therapist i’ve ever had” “revoke his license” “this guy is the reason i have a therapist, he was that bad”

**mattata:** WHAT WEBSITE DID MY DAD EVEN LOOK AT THEN

**allurable:** probably this one, a few of the top reviews are positive but the likers look like they’re bots

_ (1) link from  _ **_allurable_ **

**mattata:** fucking old people and the internet i swear

**mattata:** alright from now on my dad is banned from looking into counselors for pidge

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve gotta find the therapist i had back in college, she was a wonderful woman

**takashmeoutside:** lemme do some quick googling

**mattata:** !!!! i remember you talking about her! you always seemed a lot better after your sessions

**takashmeoutside:** AHA

_ (1) link from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**allurable:** she’s getting excellent reviews

**mattata:** good

**mattata:** i’ll have to talk to pidge and my parents, not now tho, obviously

**kogayne:** obviously

**lanceylance:** tell her we hope she feels better!! 

**mattata:** will do

**lanceylance:** can you also let us know when she’s willing to have contact with other people again?? 

**mattata:** sure

**mattata:** just don’t go spamming her all at once

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** meanwhile, how are you doing

**kogayne:** could be better

**kogayne:** could be a lot better

**kogayne:** pidge tore my heart out and now i really can’t stop thinking about what she said when she was retelling everything

**kogayne:** and she didn’t even tell us??? that being around older guys is scaring her??? 

**kogayne:** obviously it’s up to her what we do and don’t know but now i’m thinking of all the times since then she’s been near older guys where we didn’t do anything bc we didn’t know

**kogayne:** that halloween party?? the photo studio??? the mall??

**lanceylance:** i’m like 99% sure she mixed up the definitions of suppress and repress now that i think about it

**lanceylance:** suppression is a conscious decision to just *not think about it* but repression is where you subconsciously tuck it away until something triggers it, like you literally forget it happened

**kogayne:** ??? what makes you think so

**lanceylance:** like, on a conscious level, she knew something bad happened in the woods, but i think she forgot what *actually happened*

**lanceylance:** she said herself, immediately after, that she didn’t remember all of the details to recount to the cops

**lanceylance:** and then, once she talked to the cops about it, i think somewhere in her mind she got the idea that it was done and over with, and she tucked it away

**lanceylance:** so something would subconsciously trigger her to be fearful of older men, but she wouldn’t be able to pinpoint it

**lanceylance:** up until the movie in english brought everything flooding back

**lanceylance:** whereas you and i have talked about it, you were /suppressing/ it

**lanceylance:** you’ve actively been making the decision to talk or think about it as little as possible, and any time you’ve gotten into a situation that stresses you out bc of it, you haven’t said anything, you’ve just pushed through

**lanceylance:** which, on that note, pls stop doing that, pls let me help you

**kogayne:** i don’t mean to i just

**kogayne:** don’t like opening up, especially when there are other people who could benefit from the attention

**kogayne:** like pidge

**lanceylance:** one person’s suffering doesn’t cancel out another’s

**lanceylance:** if pidge could see these texts she’d flip out on you

**kogayne:** i know

**lanceylance:** i mean, i know i’m one to talk, i know i withdraw too, but,

**lanceylance:** hhhh

**kogayne:** i know, i know

**kogayne:** we’re both trying, and we’ve both got ways to go

**kogayne:** we can help each other

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** i’m sorry if it’s coming off like i’m pushing you

**lanceylance:** i just hate seeing you in pain

**kogayne:** it’s okay

**kogayne:** hey um

**kogayne:** can you come and get me?

**kogayne:** i need to be out of the house but i really don’t trust myself driving right now

**lanceylance:** yeah, i’m leaving right now, i’ll be over in a few minutes

**lanceylance:** i love you

**kogayne:** thanks lance

**kogayne:** i love you too

 

**_amazons™_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** i would ask “how are you” but i don’t think i should

**carrierpidgeon:** I HATE

**carrierpidgeon:** I JUST

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM HAVING WAVES OF ANGER I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO DIRECT THEM I JUST HATE

**carrierpidgeon:** I’VE ALREADY KILLED THE ENTIRE CAST OF UNTIL DAWN TWICE

**allurable:** do you wanna vent

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** i really fucking hate the counselor i went to see and i’ve been freaking the FUCK OUT ever since

**carrierpidgeon:** I HATE IT

**carrierpidgeon:** I WISH THIS STUPID SITUATION WOULDN’T AFFECT ME ANYMORE I HATE THAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS I HATE THAT IT HAPPENED I HATE

**carrierpidgeon:** AND LIKE

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S SHIT LIKE ENTITLED BOYS AND MEN WHO THINK THEY OWN MY SEXUAL EXPERIENCES THAT MAKE THESE THINGS HAPPEN AND MAKE OTHER GUYS THINK THIS SHIT IS FUCKING OKAY TO DO

**carrierpidgeon:** LIKE WHEN PAUL CAME AT ME THAT ONE DAY IN THE CAFETERIA???? AND TOLD ME THAT I COULDN’T BE ASEXUAL BECAUSE I HADN’T HAD SEX YET????????? LIKE WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE SEX TO KNOW I WON’T LIKE IT AND I DON’T DESIRE IT

**carrierpidgeon:** CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THOSE GUYS IN THE WOODS HAD KNOWN

**carrierpidgeon:** THE TAUNTING WOULD’VE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE, THEY WERE ALREADY THREATENING NASTY THINGS AND I JUST

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** I FEEL GROSS

**allurable:** number one, i’m so sorry you even had to go through this at all, i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy

**allurable:** number two, you’re still young, it’s okay to be affected like this. this is a normal experience and (unfortunately) you’re definitely not alone

**allurable:** number three, if you feel gross, take a long shower

**allurable:** if you have violent urges still pent up, release them physically instead of through a video game. punch a pillow, find something you’re allowed to break and break it as hard as you can

**allurable:** i agree, the culture around female sex is so entrenched in entitlement and misogyny that it’s become extraordinarily unsafe. we need to educate and make clear that our bodies are our own, even if it seems like a losing battle. we’re here for you. we’re always here for you.

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^ don’t be afraid to speak up, either

**shayfromstatefarm:** suffering in silence will only make it worse for yourself. talking things out like this is healthy, and it builds your support network

**shayfromstatefarm:** and if anyone tells you otherwise, let us know. we’ve got your back.

**allurable:** do you want me to come over?

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhhhhhhhhh it would help having another girl here besides my mom, she’s been babying me this whole time, up until i started screaming about wendigos

**carrierpidgeon:** can both of u pls come over,,,, or like, bring me somewhere else

**allurable:** i can bring you both back to my place, i’m the only one home at the moment

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks, allura

**carrierpidgeon:** thank you guys so much

**carrierpidgeon:** <333

**shayfromstatefarm:** <3

**allurable:** <3

 

**_allurable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** did your sister tell you i’m coming to pick her up

**mattata:** no, the last thing she told me was “i’m going to fucking feed these dicks to the wendigos if it’s the last thing i do, fuck mike’s crusty white boy ass”

**allurable:** oh cool, i’m coming to pick her up, we’re gonna go get shay, and then we’re going back to my place

**mattata:** okay

**mattata:** thanks for helping her out like this

**allurable:** of course!!

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ and  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ to  _ **_CRYPTKID DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** OKAY SO ON MONDAY WE’RE NOT LETTING ANYONE NEAR PIDGE OR KEITH

**lanceylance:** NOT LOTOR, NOT HIS SQUAD (...okay so /maybe/ his squad is okay but nOT LOTOR)

**lanceylance:** DEFINITELY NOT ROLO, NYMA, OR PAUL AND HIS CRONIES

**hunkerdunker:** i’ve always been an advocate for peace but right now i can feel every violent urge i’ve ever suppressed fighting to get free

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ve got their backs

**shayfromstatefarm:** i really hate that we need group chats like this

**lanceylance:** don’t i know it

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** how are you doing

**kogayne:** i’m okay i guess

**takashmeoutside:** you sure? what are you doing right now?

**kogayne:** lance and i are in the treehouse in his backyard

**kogayne:** just relaxing

**kogayne:** i still don’t feel 100%

**takashmeoutside:** i didn’t expect you to

**takashmeoutside:** this is gonna take time to come back from

**kogayne:** i’m just angry, i guess

**kogayne:** this happened over a month ago, and it’s just now choosing to come back and bite us in the ass???

**takashmeoutside:** often these things never truly go away, even if you think you’re past it

**takashmeoutside:** there are some days i can’t even get in a car, if i’m being honest

**takashmeoutside:** it’s about learning to cope with it

**kogayne:** i should be coping with it

**takashmeoutside:** don’t be hard on yourself

**kogayne:** i have no problem being back in the woods, i have no problem being around older guys, i have no problem talking about sex, sO WHAT IS MY PROBLEM, WHY DO I STILL GET ANXIETY OVER THIS

**takashmeoutside:** maybe you’re not even worried about yourself so much as you are about pidge

**takashmeoutside:** or maybe you’re worried about how people will perceive you two and the situation?

**kogayne:** i don’t know

**kogayne:** i wanna be past this

**takashmeoutside:** i know

**takashmeoutside:** it’s going to take time, keith

**takashmeoutside:** take it as it comes

**takashmeoutside:** you’ve got a good support network

**takashmeoutside:** we’re all here for you

**kogayne:** ...yeah i know

**kogayne:** thanks

**takashmeoutside:** always

**takashmeoutside:** now, what’s the situation for dinner, are you coming home, staying over there, getting takeout,,,

**kogayne:** shiro, i love you, but i hate your cooking

**takashmeoutside:** i hate my cooking too

**takashmeoutside:** want me bring home a few roast beef sandwiches from work

**kogayne:** sure

**kogayne:** uh, can it just be us tonight

**takashmeoutside:** if that’s what you want, sure

**kogayne:** yeah, i uh, i told lance i just wanted to hang out with you tonight

**takashmeoutside:** that’s fine

**takashmeoutside:** any ideas in mind

**kogayne:** have you started buzzfeed unsolved yet

**takashmeoutside:** no

**kogayne:** good, you’ll be with the boogaras in no time

**takashmeoutside:** whatever you say, kiddo

 

**_< 3_ **

**mattata:** so

**mattata:** it’s been a day

**allurable:** no kidding

**mattata:** how’s pidge

**allurable:** she’s helping shay run lines for the show, she seems to be okay right now

**allurable:** it helps that she’s distracted

**allurable:** we talked through the situation, tho

**allurable:** she’s trying to make peace with it

**mattata:** good to hear

**mattata:** hey shiro, how’s keith

**takashmeoutside:** he got home from lance’s house, we had a rant session, i discovered he has a dartboard for his knives that he only uses when he’s super frustrated, and now we’re watching bu

**mattata:** so are you a shaniac or a boogara

**takashmeoutside:** don’t tell keith i’m a shaniac

**mattata:** lmfao

**mattata:** so he’s doing okay right now?

**takashmeoutside:** yeah

**allurable:** the police still haven’t found the guys, have they?

**takashmeoutside:** not as far as i know

**takashmeoutside:** i do have some good news, tho

**takashmeoutside:** unrelated to this whole situation

**allurable:** spill, we could use something positive

**takashmeoutside:** i got the job back at target

**takashmeoutside:** today was my last day at the restaurant

**mattata:** fUCKING FINALLY

**mattata:** when do you start

**takashmeoutside:** monday morning

**mattata:** nICE

**allurable:** congrats shiro!!

**takashmeoutside:** thanks

**mattata:** so when do we break the news to the gc

**takashmeoutside:** i’m gonna wait until pidge and keith are both feeling better

**allurable:** good call

**takashmeoutside:** okay, i’m gonna go, keith is yelling at me

**allurable:** alrighty goodbye  <3

**mattata:** see ya later shironater

**takashmeoutside:** pls never ever say that ever again i’m embarrassed on your behalf

**mattata:** IT’S CALLED IRONIC MEMEING LOOK IT UP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as per the usual, no sunday chapter
> 
> updates over the rest of the week might be sporadic between play rehearsals, college shenanigans, and the thanksgiving holiday, also i rEALLY WANNA UPDATE STARS GO DOWN, i wanna say i'm getting to a good part with keith but idk the plan on sgd changes every other freakin day but ANYWAY
> 
> thank you for all of your lovely comments and stuff they really make my day and uhhhhh that's it have a good night i am going to do calculus now (and no one is surprised)


	55. [olanrogers voice] it's a monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> typical monday shenanigans ft slightly more angst than usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i told you guys you all sUCK BECAUSE YOUR NICE COMMENTS MAKE ME CRY
> 
> seriously thank you guys so much i love all of you and i'm glad to hear this is actually helping some of you???? what??????????????? i'm yelling???? i love all of you i hope you all have wonderful days and also if you ever need to reach out i should make it known i'm open to listen!!
> 
> ANYWAY **tw for a depressive episode**

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** it’s that day again

 **lanceylance:** it’s a Monday

 **hunkerdunker:** astute observation

 **hunkerdunker:** it’s quite fascinating, please elaborate

 **lanceylance:** i can’t believe my best friend is sassing me before 8 AM on a MONDAY you're doing me so dirty right now

 **hunkerdunker:** you had to point out that it was a monday, i was perfectly content living the delusion that it was wednesday

 **shayfromstatefarm:** wednesday?

 **hunkerdunker:** yeah

 **hunkerdunker:** school today, school tomorrow, half day wednesday, and then we’re off till next monday, SO

 **hunkerdunker:** i was perfectly fine pretending that today was wednesday, tomorrow was thursday, and wednesday was friday

 **hunkerdunker:** and then LANCE OVER HERE HAS TO SHATTER THE ILLUSION

 **lanceylance:** I WASN’T AWARE YOU WERE DELUDING YOURSELF EXCUSE ME

 **allurable:** glad to open to the group chat to the usual monday shenanigans

 **hunkerdunker:** sTOP REMINDING ME THAT IT’S A MONDAY 

**mattata:** where’s that video of that guy

 **mattata:** in the target bathrooms

 **mattata:** “it’s a monday”

 _(1) video from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** THIS ONE?  >:)

 **hunkerdunker:** EFGHRDGSFHGYYJMHNGFD

 **shayfromstatefarm:** if only we could have mondays as entertaining as that, all we’ve got in store is homework and bitterness and teachers cramming before the holiday

 **lanceylance:** so you mean exactly what happened last week before the marking period closed

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yes

 **lanceylance:** hhhhaaaaaaaaa fUNNN TIMES

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey

 **kogayne:** hey

 **lanceylance:** what’s the story for today, are you going to school

 **kogayne:** yeah

 **lanceylance:** ywant me pick you up this morning and we can get coffee bc u probably stayed up all night cramming your homework

 **kogayne:** yes pls

 **kogayne:** sorry if i was distant this weekend, i’m just,,,

 **kogayne:** i’m processing

 **lanceylance:** hey shhh it’s okay, take all the time you need

 **lanceylance:** i wanna see u recover

 **lanceylance:** if there’s any way i can help, lemme know

 **kogayne:** i will

 **lanceylance:** get dressed, i’ll be over in 15

 

**_lanceylance > carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** hey pidgeotto, you want coffee?

 **carrierpidgeon:** sure

 **carrierpidgeon:** can you pick me up

 **lanceylance:** ofc!! get dressed, i’ll get keith and then we’ll grab u, i should be over in about 20

 **carrierpidgeon:** thanks lance

 **lanceylance:** any time

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** just a head’s up we are grabbing the pidgeon before we hit dunkin

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** we’re making a thanksgiving dinner in culinary this week i’m,,

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m actually crying this is the best news i’ve gotten all week

 **shayfromstatefarm:** SLIDE ME SOME OF THAT FOOD

 **lanceylance:** HELP A BRO OUT HUNK

 **hunkerdunker:** i’ll sneak out what i can

 **lanceylance:** BEST BRO BEST FRIEND IT’S A TWO-PLAYER GAME SO WHEN THEY MAKE AN ATTACK YOU KNOW YOU GOT A BROTHER GONNA HAVE YOUR BACK

 **shayfromstatefarm:** and who’s making the attack in this case

 **lanceylance:** my teachers with their asinine homework assignments and also my college apps

 **hunkerdunker:** have you applied yet

 **lanceylance:** nO

 **lanceylance:** the common app and fasfa and all that stuff are filled out but i need to do scholarship essays and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **shayfromstatefarm:** mood of the week

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i think i’m applying to my colleges by friday

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’m gonna take advantage of this thanksgiving holiday

 **lanceylance:** same

 **lanceylance:** which means today tomorrow and wednesday i’m cranking out essays, then wednesday night i’m collapsing in a puddle of my own blood sweat and tears

 **hunkerdunker:** well that wasn’t graphic at all

 **lanceylance:** i speak only the truth

 **takashmeoutside:** you’ll be fine, you’re not going to collapse in a puddle of your own bodily fluids

 **mattata:** i think i prefer lance’s wording omfg

 **mattata:** “bodily fluids” jfc shiro

 **mattata:** you make it sound like a crime scene or something

 **takashmeoutside:** :|

 **lanceylance:** college stuff is just stressful bUT I HAVE TO GET INTO THE GARRISON SCHOOL THIS HAS BEEN MY DREAM SCHOOL FOR  Y E A R S

 **lanceylance:** if i don’t get in wHAT DO I TELL MY FAMILY

 **lanceylance:** HOW DO I TELL THEM THAT I’M A COMPLETE AND UTTER FAILURE

 **takashmeoutside:** you’re not a failure

 **takashmeoutside:** regular decision deadline isn’t till what, first week of january?

 **lanceylance:** scholarship requires everything to be in by december

 **allurable:** you’ve got plenty of time

 **lanceylance:** I HAVE TEN DAYS WHY DID I PUT THIS OFF

 **allurable:** YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME  >:(

 **lanceylance:** DON’T YELL AT ME IT’S FIRST PERIOD I AM FRAGILE

 **takashmeoutside:** okay, it’s okay, you’ll be fine

 **takashmeoutside:** ten days /is/ plenty of time

 **mattata:** i didn’t apply till the literal last minute when i did mine, and i got in

 **lanceylance:** yeah but you’re a genius, i...am not

 **takashmeoutside:** you’re giving matt too much credit and giving yourself too little

 **mattata:** WOW RUDE

 **takashmeoutside:** i speak the truth

 **mattata:** ...yeah he speaks the truth, i was a little shit throughout high school and half of college

 **takashmeoutside:** have some faith in yourself

 **takashmeoutside:** just get those essays done

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m sure if you need help reading them through, the group chat can come together, or you can just send it to one of us

 **allurable:** i can proofread!!!

 **mattata:** people paid allura to write essays for them in hs and college

 **allurable:** :)

 **allurable:** if i ever got screwed over or heard of clients harassing my friends i sabotaged their essays :)

 **shayfromstatefarm:** iconic

 **lanceylance:** I STAN AN ICONIC QUEEN

 **lanceylance:** seriously tho, thanks guys

 **lanceylance:** allura, i might take you up on that offer

 **allurable:** !!! let me know when it’s done and i’ll take a look at it and do some editing

 **lanceylance:** :)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** I’VE JUST BEEN CALLED TO GUIDANCE GOOD MOOD IS DEAD GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

 **hunkerdunker:** didn’t you put in a request friday

 **lanceylance:** I STILL HAVE ANXIETY, HUNKETH

 **hunkerdunker:** did you just call me hunketh

 **mattata:** yeah he did

 **shayfromstatefarm:** how do you feel

 **hunkerdunker:** idk how to feel tbh

 **allurable:** good luck in guidance i’m sure you’ll be absolutely fine!!!!

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** GOOD MOOD RESTORED I LOVE BLAYTZ

 **lanceylance:** DUDE IS LIKE “DON’T SWEAT IT YOU’VE GOT TIME YOU’VE GOT THIS I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO AND YOU WON’T BE PENALIZED IF YOUR TEACHERS DON’T TURN THINGS IN ON TIME YOU’RE FINE”

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **allurable:** didn’t we try to tell him the same thing

 **takashmeoutside:** i suppose it’s more helpful coming from someone in the guidance office, who does this every year

 **lanceylance:** i actually feel confident about my ability to get into college now

 **shayfromstatefarm:** good for you!!

 **lanceylance:** hhhhh i feel so much better aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :)

 **hunkerdunker:** the group chat this morning: [consists mainly of lance screaming or otherwise just making noise over text]

 **lanceylance:** WATCH IT HUNKETH

 **hunkerdunker:** is that your new name for me

 **lanceylance:** yes absolutely

 **shayfromstatefarm:** what about hunky

 **lanceylance:** of course /you/ come up with that nickname for him

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **hunkerdunker:** i am /quite/ hunky, thank you

 **lanceylance:** yes yes you are

 **hunkerdunker:** :)

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** period 2 check-in, you okay?

 **kogayne:** i guess

 **lanceylance:** ...need space?

 **kogayne:** yeah

 **lanceylance:** u got it, love u, see u at lunch

 **kogayne:** love you too

 

**_lanceylance > carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** period 2 check-in, how are you

 **carrierpidgeon:** chemistry is mostly just Attack of the Morons

 **carrierpidgeon:** but i’m okay, i think?

 **carrierpidgeon:** i mean, it’s a normal monday feeling, i’m doing science, i like science

 **carrierpidgeon:** my class is full of the usual morons

 **lanceylance:** good to know

 **lanceylance:** lemme know if anything happens, alright?

 **carrierpidgeon:** alright

 **carrierpidgeon:** thanks for checking in

 **lanceylance:** i’ll be doing it every period, just tell me if it’s too much and i’ll back off

 **carrierpidgeon:** i think i’ll be okay for the day, you don’t need to keep checking

 **lanceylance:** u sure

 **carrierpidgeon:** im sure, im feeling a lot better, actually

 **carrierpidgeon:** thanks sharkboy

 **carrierpidgeon:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

 **lanceylance:** :D (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** i just remembered that we have rehearsal today, how am i supposed to sit through calculus knowing i’ll be back on the stage today

 **hunkerdunker:** fail calc → no garrison

 **lanceylance:** SHIT U RIGHT

 **lanceylance:** ...are the numbers on this worksheet the x values or y values

 **hunkerdunker:** y values…?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** max of 4 but min of 5??? no??

 **lanceylance:** tell me why ryner just got sassy with me and asked me if i watched the video

 **hunkerdunker:** so…?

 **lanceylance:** she said y

 **shayfromstatefarm:** but that’s wrong?

 **kogayne:** they’re x values

 **lanceylance:** thanks babe

 **kogayne:** pfv

 **lanceylance:** alright

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** do you need me to come pick you up? you’re acting even less like yourself today

 **kogayne:** no

 **kogayne:** i just

 **kogayne:** i don’t know

 **kogayne:** i don’t KNOW

 **takashmeoutside:** you’re having a depressive episode.

 **takashmeoutside:** i see the symptoms.

 **kogayne:** i hate this i hate it so much i shOULD BE OVER IT

 **kogayne:** I GAVE MYSELF A WHOLE DAY TO THINK AND RECHARGE

 **takashmeoutside:** and sometimes one day isn’t enough

 **kogayne:** i can’t afford to miss school every time my brain decides it wants to fuck me over

 **kogayne:** i hate it i hate pushing everyone away but i dON’T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR SOCIAL INTERACTION but NOT INTERACTING IS MAKING IT WORSE

 **kogayne:** HELP ME!!!!!

 **takashmeoutside:** take some deep breaths, keith

 **takashmeoutside:** what class are you in right now

 **kogayne:** thace

 **takashmeoutside:** what are you /supposed/ to be doing

 **kogayne:** reading through some play about dolls or something, i don’t know, i can’t focus

 **takashmeoutside:** i want to suggest that you go to guidance, but you’re gonna shoot me down

 **kogayne:** mmmm yeah i don’t feel like leaving class, people will start asking questions

 **takashmeoutside:** why do you care

 **kogayne:** because it makes me even more anxious

 **takashmeoutside:** so you would rather have an anxiety attack in class,,,

 **kogayne:** ugh i don’t know

 **takashmeoutside:** why don’t you put the phone down and try and do your schoolwork

 **kogayne:** fine

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** is everyone ready for rehearsal today!!!

 **dinezor:** as i’ll ever be

 **madplax:** still trying to get over this headcold @ LANCE

 **lanceylance:** NOT MY FAULT I HAVE TO KISS YOU

 **dinezor:** you auditioned

 **lanceylance:** for a DIFFERENT SHOW

 **carrierpidgeon:** i mean, you’ve got lunch and three more periods to get your act together

 **hunkerdunker:** don’t forget i have a large supply of cold medicine and the like

 **lanceylance:** an angel among men

 **madplax:** this club doesn’t deserve hunk

 **hunkerdunker:** most people don’t ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **hunkerdunker:** shay does tho

 **shayfromstatefarm:** :) i love you so much

 **lotoreal:** are you two always like this?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** not all the time, only sometimes

 **lotoreal:** normally kogane and mcclain are the ones acting like this

 **carrierpidgeon:** GUYS IT IS CHICKEN NUGGET DAY

 **carrierpidgeon:** I’VE JUST MADE THIS DISCOVERY

 **carrierpidgeon:** THIS TURNS THE WHOLE DAY AROUND

 **floronawiththecorona:** YES NUGGET DAY

 **madplax:** it’s been 84 years

 **hunkerdunker:** they’re good, but i’m still waiting on chicken tender day

 **hunkerdunker:** school tenders  > school nuggets

 **lanceylance:** YO TRUE

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** tell me i’m not the only one who noticed the abrupt subject change.

 **acxalutelynot:** could you maybe just leave them alone

 **acxalutelynot:** for like one day

 **sippinganartini:** what did i miss

 **dinezor:** hunk and shay were being cute in the drama group chat and lotor was like “well usually kogane and mcclain are the ones being like this” and pidge changed the subject to chicken nuggets like, immediately

 **zethridofmyproblems:** i’m like 99% sure they think lotor stalks them

 **lotoreal:** i don’t stalk them!

 **acxalutelynot:** you sent us to stalk keith freshman year

 **lotoreal:** IT’S CALLED GATHERING INTEL

 **acxalutelynot:** you’re acting like we’re like, i don’t know

 **dinezor:** in space fighting a war against a galactic empire or something like that

 **dinezor:** you need to be more chill

 **lotoreal:** ...did you just

 **dinezor:** you are jeremy, listen to your squip

 **zethridofmyproblems:** wasn’t the entire point of the show that squips were evil and not to be trusted

 **dinezor:** CHILL   
****

**zethridofmyproblems:** you know, we could start a debate over this, or we could focus on the fact that it’s time for lunch and i’m HUNGRY

 **sippinganartini:** must be nice having first wave

 **sippinganartini:** I HATE FOURTH WAVE LUNCH

 **dinezor:** third wave really isn’t any better

 **acxalutelynot:** okay but fOURTH WAVE

 **lotoreal:** you all are masters at changing the subject (¬_¬)

 **dinezor:** did you just emote at us

 **sippinganartini:** oh look that one’s actually in my shortcuts

 **sippinganartini:** DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES AT US

 **lotoreal:** i will do as i damn well please

 **acxalutelynot:** are you getting snippy

 **lotoreal:** i don’t know acxa, am i

 **dinezor:** snippy boy

 **lotoreal:** i am a man, excuse me

 **dinezor:** 17

 **dinezor:** boy

 **lotoreal:** you all are insufferable

 **dinezor:** you chose to befriend us that’s on you ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**mattata:** how are the cryptkids

 **hunkerdunker:** pidge seems pretty normal

 **hunkerdunker:** the fact that it’s nugget day seemed to lift her spirits

 **takashmeoutside:** and keith?

 **lanceylance:** silent but eating

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** did he talk to you at all? he won’t really talk to me

 **takashmeoutside:** depressive episode

 **takashmeoutside:** he’s just too stubborn to go home or go to guidance

 **takashmeoutside:** it’s nothing against you

 **lanceylance:** i know

 **lanceylance:** i just don’t think i’ve ever seen him this bad

 **takashmeoutside:** well, do you remember the day you were having it bad?

 **lanceylance:** yeah, but i still ended up like, opening up a little for him

 **lanceylance:** he literally /won’t talk/ and /won’t hold hands/ and /won’t be touched/ it’s sosososo bad what do i do

 **takashmeoutside:** you are giving him his space, right?

 **lanceylance:** ofc what kind of boyfriend do you take me for

 **takashmeoutside:** just double-checking

 **takashmeoutside:** he doesn’t /want/ to be distant, i can tell you that

 **takashmeoutside:** but he also doesn’t have the patience for social interaction

 **lanceylance:** i get it

 **lanceylance:** i’m just worried

 **lanceylance:** as usual

 **lanceylance:** lance mcclain, worrier supreme

 **takashmeoutside:** he’ll come around, give it time

 

**_mattata > carrierpidgeon_ **

**mattata:** and how are you today, dearest sister of mine

 **carrierpidgeon:** CHICKEN NUGGETS

 **mattata:** so you’re good then

 **carrierpidgeon:** yeah

 **carrierpidgeon:** some kid almost burnt his eyebrows off in chem today, it was great

 **mattata:** fucking morons

 **carrierpidgeon:** “mac, don’t play with the bunsen--DAMMIT” i /lost my shit/ it was a good way to end my lab period

 **mattata:** it was the /end of the period/

 **carrierpidgeon:** HELL YEAH i hate my chem class but sometimes it’s worth it

 **carrierpidgeon:** and i,,, might have made a friend? maybe?

 **mattata:** :O SPILL

 **carrierpidgeon:** alright so i was still like, out of it when i first got to class but then about halfway thru first period when we’re still going over the lab procedures, this girl named sherrie leans over and asks if i’m alright and apparently she’s /really/ into chem??? i never noticed??? she’s got pink hair and she’s pretty cool actually

 **mattata:** YES PIDGE!! MAKE! THOSE! FRIENDS!

 **carrierpidgeon:** i mean, we’re not like...friends yet???? but i guess we could be if i actually pursue this?????????

 **mattata:** GO FOR IT I SUPPORT YOU 100%

 **mattata:** THIS IS GREAT NEWS

 **carrierpidgeon:** :)

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** Y’ALL CAN SOMEONE LEAVE AND COME BACK TO REHEARSAL AND BRING ME DUNKIN

 **lanceylance:** PEPPERMINT MOCHA IS  B A C K  TIS THE FREAKIN SEASON BITCHES

 **hunkerdunker:** THREE MORE DAYS, THERE ARE /THREE MORE DAYS/ UNTIL THANKSGIVING, CAN YOU HOLD OUT

 **mattata:** i would but i have to go find shiro

 **lanceylance:** aren’t you at work

 **takashmeoutside:** oh yeah i forgot to tell everyone i got the job i’m employed again at target goodbye crappy restaurant pay hello wild customers

 **lanceylance:** NICE

 **carrierpidgeon:** speaking of employed,,,,

 **shayfromstatefarm:** no i don’t know when the apps are gonna be finished processing but you guys are like 101% guaranteed to be hired, it’s just a matter of us opening ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **allurable:** i would but i’m stuck helping my dad today

 **lanceylance:** that’s it after rehearsal i am taking my own ass to dunkin donuts who’s coming

 **carrierpidgeon:** ME

 **lanceylance:** i WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS MORNING

 **carrierpidgeon:** you didn’t see the sign

 **lanceylance:** it was too early and i was sleep-deprived

 **lanceylance:** ANY OTHER TAKERS

 **hunkerdunker:** i’ve got a killer headache, i’ve gotta pass in favor of a post-rehearsal nap

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve got coffee shop business to attend to, can’t walk in drinking a competitor

 **shayfromstatefarm:** (we’ll be making better peppermint mocha coffees, just you wait)

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** so he finally came around

 **takashmeoutside:** good to hear

 **lanceylance:** um, not exactly

 **lanceylance:** he kind of just collapsed into me

 **lanceylance:** and we were sitting around

 **lanceylance:** and out of nowhere he started having a breakdown

 **lanceylance:** i had to hand him off to hunk bc my scene was up and when i came back he was a  w r e c k

 **takashmeoutside:** he’s gotta get it out of his system

 **takashmeoutside:** by tomorrow he should be back near 100%

 **takashmeoutside:** what are you two up to now?

 **lanceylance:** well my scenes are done for the day, we’re currently sitting in the back hallway, i’m very discreetly texting you while keith tries to get it together

 **takashmeoutside:** update me later then, be with him right now

 **lanceylance:** u got it dude

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i really am sorry about today

 **lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’ve got nothing to be sorry for

 **lanceylance:** no need to apologize

 **lanceylance:** you’ve already apologized enough

 **lanceylance:** get some sleep, starlight, we’ve got a day and a half left to plow through

 **kogayne:** i just

 **kogayne:** i feel bad, i shouldn’t have been pushing you away, you wanted to help,

 **lanceylance:** shhhh shhhhhhhhhh

 **lanceylance:** shhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **lanceylance:** you weren’t in a good state of mind it’s oKAY

 **kogayne:** just

 **kogayne:** thank you

 **kogayne:** for still being there when i needed you

 **lanceylance:** of course, dummy, i’m always gonna be here

 **lanceylance:** you can’t get rid of me even if u tried, i’m like glitter

 **kogayne:** the herpes of crafting supplies

 **lanceylance:** dID YOU JUST COMPARE ME TO /HERPES/

 **kogayne:** ...indirectly, maybe

 **lanceylance:** erwstnrhterdfntrtdfntdf you little shit

 **lanceylance:** <33333

 **lanceylance:** i love u, now pls get some sleep, take care of urself, i’ll see you in the morning bright and early at the crack of doom

 **kogayne:** you mean dawn

 **lanceylance:** hahahahahahah no

 **lanceylance:** i love you  <3333

 **kogayne:** i love you too  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TELL ME WHY ALL OF MY AP TEACHERS GANGED UP ON US WITH THE HOMEWORK THIS WEEK, WHAT THE FUCK (except for ap psych, all we did in class was watch a video, best ap class 10/10 would recommend)
> 
> also that thing in calc???? actually happened today, half of us were crying and having giggle breakdowns, it was so bad we're all so drained save us we all hate that class
> 
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i have SHIT TO DO I HAVE TO GO GOODBYE I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I WILL _SEE YOU_ IN THE NEXT CHAPTER
> 
> BUH-BYEEEEEEEE


	56. 'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> general group chat shenanigans on the last day before thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS
> 
> so, uh, several things: sorry there was no tuesday chapter (we'll pretend it was just a relatively normal school day with keith recovering from his own feelings and usual gc happenings), sorry this is short, and also sorry this is going up at 12:40 AM eastern time on a thursday morning
> 
> on the bright side, i'm almost done with college app stuff before i officially apply!! and then it's a matter of time before acceptances/rejections come in!!!

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** buenos días, luz de las estrellas

 **lanceylance:** cómo estás

 **kogayne:** do u have to be this cute this early

 **lanceylance:** sí

 **lanceylance:** now answer the question

 **kogayne:** i’m good, actually

 **kogayne:** no homework got done but it’s a half day so it’s okay

 **lanceylance:** good to know, now that that Monday-Tuesday Depression Wave Of Crippling Sadness is over

 **kogayne:** do u have to bring it up

 **lanceylance:** sORRY SORRY SORRY

 **lanceylance:** but you are??? you’re feeling better???????

 **kogayne:** yes

 **lanceylance:** and you’re coming to school????

 **kogayne:** i thought that was obvious

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lanceylance:** hey i know it’s still early but i wanted to ask before i forgot: what are you and shiro doing tomorrow for thanksgiving

 **kogayne:** ,,,,, aaaaa every year since the accident we’ve usually either spent the day with the holts or the alteas

 **kogayne:** i think this year we’re going to the alteas

 **kogayne:** why

 **lanceylance:** my mom was asking

 **lanceylance:** bc, you know, we’ve reached that point in our relationship where our families are comf with each other and she knows that it’s just you and shiro so she wanted me to let you know,,,, you guys are invited this year

 **lanceylance:** but of course i know shiro’s dating allura and i don’t wanna split u and shiro up on thanksgiving so if u don’t wanna come that’s fine just!!! let me know!!!!

 **kogayne:** will do

 **lanceylance:** also are we getting dunks

 **lanceylance:** and also who’s driving who

 **kogayne:** you’ve covered me the last few times, i’ll drive

 **kogayne:** and yes to coffee

 **lanceylance:** bet i’ll be waiting

 **kogayne:** i’ll leave in about ten

 **kogayne:** i love you

 **lanceylance:** :) love u too mullethead

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** today is a waste we are doing nothing i should’ve stayed home

 **hunkerdunker:** calc

 **lanceylance:** half the class is in band and they’re all gone, prepping for the pep rally

 **lanceylance:** we can’t learn anything when everyone is gone, so ryner, THANK GOODNESS, basically just gave us a study hall

 **kogayne:** work on the homework due monday?

 **lanceylance:** hahahahahahaha no that’s a sunday night problem

 **carrierpidgeon:** this is why you’re barely managing a B- in that class

 **lanceylance:** as long as it’s not a C+

 **hunkerdunker:** you play a dangerous game

 **lanceylance:** i got a B- for the quarter so the score is lance 1, calc 0

 **carrierpidgeon:** for now

 **shayfromstatefarm:** smh leave him alone, let him learn the hard way

 **lanceylance:** SHAY

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** leave my boyfriend aLONE

 **carrierpidgeon:** ah, klance is finally back in action

 **kogayne:** so are the cryptkids

 **carrierpidgeon:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

 **kogayne:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

 **lanceylance:** Y’ALL ARE STEALING MY EMOTICON YOU FAKE HOES

 **lanceylance:** EVERYONE KNOWS FINGER GUNS ARE BI CULTURE

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** so it would appear kogane has recovered from whatever was plaguing him

 **dinezor:** why do you type like an old man

 **dinezor:** with this air of like, superior intellect

 **lotoreal:** because i can?

 **acxalutelynot:** so anyway

 **zethridofmyproblems:** what period are we getting called down for the pep rally

 **zethridofmyproblems:** 5, right?

 **sippinganartini:** 6 actually

 **zethridofmyproblems:** ????? what the fuck

 **acxalutelynot:** the school doesn’t seem to realize that that’s probably not enough time

 **dinezor:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ that means period 6 is wasted while everyone waits to get called down which means even LESS work is getting done

 

**_lotoreal > kogayne_ **

**lotoreal:** it appears you’re feeling better today

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_(1) photo from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** do i even bother responding

 **lanceylance:** turn on read receipts so he knows you’re not replying

 **kogayne:** erthresfdnhtrsdf

 **kogayne:** LANCE

 **lanceylance:** what

 **kogayne:** I DIDN’T EXPECT THAT RESPONSE FROM YOU

 **lanceylance:** he still hasn’t apologized ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** i fuckign love you

 **lanceylance:** ah jeez man i would hope so, we’re only promised to each other

 **kogayne:** :P

 **lanceylance:** :)

 **lanceylance:** are we cuddling at the back of the bleachers again

 **kogayne:** yes pls

 **lanceylance:** :D

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**takashmeoutside:** should i even ask what’s going on at that pep rally

 **mattata:** pidge what the FUCK is your snap story right now

 **carrierpidgeon:** absolute madness

 **carrierpidgeon:** so, business as usual

 **hunkerdunker:** who thought this was a good idea

 **shayfromstatefarm:** someone almost knocked me upside the head to get a tshirt

 **allurable:** wait what’s going on my battery is low and i don’t feel like opening snap

 **hunkerdunker:** someone thought it would be a good idea to throw free items into the bleachers at the pep rally as incentive to show up to the thanksgiving game tomorrow

 **hunkerdunker:** people are apparently passionate about free tshirts

 **lanceylance:** now see, if you had been smart like me and keith, you would’ve sat at the back of the bleachers, so all the madness is in front of you and can’t touch you

 **hunkerdunker:** i still don’t understand how we left from the /same class/ and you still managed to squeeze back there

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^ they were all full by the time hunk and i got there

 **lanceylance:** gotta go fast

 **mattata:** DID SOMEBODY SAY SONIC

 **carrierpidgeon:** pls, no,,,

 _(6) photos from_ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** have some spicy sonic memes

 **takashmeoutside:** this is why god doesn’t talk to us anymore

 **kogayne:** my boyfriend is enough of a meme, why am i being made to suffer more

 **carrierpidgeon:** LANCE THIS IS YOUR FAULT AS USUAL

 **lanceylance:** exCUDSWE ME

 **mattata:** i am perfectly capable of memeing without prompting from lance

 **mattata:** could i interest you in some Space memes

 **allurable:** my battery is dying matthew

 _(5) photos from_ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** they were already sending whoops

 **allurable:** THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS

 **takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe we’re dating a meme

 **mattata:** stfu weeb

 **takashmeoutside:** i am a Reformed Weeb excuse you

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** HEY

 **takashmeoutside:** WHAT

 **takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE WE SHOUTING

 **kogayne:** TO EMPHASIZE URGENCY

 **takashmeoutside:** WHY IS THIS URGENT, ARE YOU OKAY

 **kogayne:** WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR THANKSGIVING TOMORROW

 **takashmeoutside:** IT’S AN ALTEA YEAR

 **kogayne:** OH

 **takashmeoutside:** WHAT

 **takashmeoutside:** WHY

 **kogayne:** UH

 **kogayne:** LANCE KIND OF INVITED US OVER TO HIS HOUSE THIS YEAR

 **kogayne:** BUT IT’S COOL IF WE’RE GOING TO THE ALTEAS

 **takashmeoutside:** WELL IT’S JUST ALLURA AND HER DAD, I WOULD FEEL BAD NOT GOING

 **kogayne:** YES I UNDERSTAND THAT

 **kogayne:** OKAY I’LL TELL LANCE WE’RE OCCUPIED

 **takashmeoutside:** OKAY

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**takashmeoutside:** I WAS TALKING TO KEITH AND HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA

 **carrierpidgeon:** somehow those words make me afraid

 **hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^^ a brogane plot has a 50/50 chance of ending well

 **kogayne:** don’t rope me into this i have no idea what he’s doing

 **takashmeoutside:** WHAT’S EVERYONE DOING ON FRIDAY

 **shayfromstatefarm:** nothing

 **mattata:** it’s black friday we’re both working you heathen

 **takashmeoutside:** yeah but after our shift, matthew

 **mattata:** next person to call me matthew i swear

 **allurable:** you swear /what/, matthew

 **mattata:** ohohoho you are ASKING FOR IT

 **allurable:** asking for WHAT

 **mattata:** ;)

 **carrierpidgeon:** IF IT’S NOT KLANCE IT’S SHALLURATT IS NOTHING SACRED

 **carrierpidgeon:** HUNAY, THANK YOU FOR BEING DECENT HUMAN BEINGS

 **shayfromstatefarm:** you mean “thank you for /acting/ like decent human beings”

 **carrierpidgeon:** HONESTLY

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE /FUCK/

 **shayfromstatefarm:** :)

 **hunkerdunker:** :)

 **takashmeoutside:** so anYWAY MY PLAN

 **carrierpidgeon:** YES /PLEASE/

 **takashmeoutside:** i thought you were afraid

 **carrierpidgeon:** ANYTHING TO TAKE AWAY FROM THE OTHER TOPIC

 **mattata:** yeah, can’t ruin my revenge surprise

 **carrierpidgeon:** I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF THIS CHAT

 **lanceylance:** THAT’S AGAINST THE RULES

 **carrierpidgeon:** STFU MCCLAIN

 **kogayne:** LEAVE MY BOYFRIEND ALONE

 **carrierpidgeon:** I N S U F F E R A B L E

 **takashmeoutside:** SO IS EVERYONE FREE FRIDAY NIGHT

 **mattata:** yes

 **allurable:** yep

 **kogayne:** i have a feeling that i’m not going to be for very long but atm yes

 **lanceylance:** ^^^^^^^^^

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m free

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’m free what’s up

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’ll be in a food coma still but maybe i can make myself do things

 **takashmeoutside:** COOL

 **takashmeoutside:** so as everyone knows, we all have our own families and conflicting thanksgiving meal schedules

 **carrierpidgeon:** yes we were aware

 **mattata:** thanks for the insight granola bar

 **takashmeoutside:** why am i friends with the holt family

 **carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ your guess is as good as mine

 **takashmeoutside:** smh ANYWAY

 **takashmeoutside:** if everyone is willing

 **mattata:** no

 **takashmeoutside:** i haven’t even given my idea yet

 **mattata:** no

 **takashmeoutside:** remind me why we’re dating again

 **mattata:** no

 **takashmeoutside:** do u even wanna be together

 **mattata:** no

 **mattata:** WAIT SHIT

 **mattata:** GRTYJUTGDFSGNRHTF YOU DICK

 **takashmeoutside:** mmmm

 **kogayne:** who replaced shiro with a clone this isn’t my cousin who is he

 **kogayne:** lance how the fuck did you steal shiro’s phone from all the way in the gym

 **lanceylance:** the Force

 **carrierpidgeon:** he accio’d that shit

 **allurable:** 20 bucks he’s sleep deprived

 **carrierpidgeon:** my instinct is to bet against you but you’re probably right

 **takashmeoutside:** she’s right ANYWAY

 **takashmeoutside:** who’s willing to have a friendsgiving on friday night

 **takashmeoutside:** we don’t even have to cook another meal we could get leftovers or takeout or something

 **takashmeoutside:** but everyone can come over and we can all celebrate our friendship

 **allurable:** ...this is actually so sweet what the fuck

 **allurable:** I’M IN

 **mattata:** ^^^^^^^^

 **kogayne:** shiro i’m sorry i ever doubted you also i’m in

 **kogayne:** then again i don’t have much of a choice

 **lanceylance:** SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

 **hunkerdunker:** idc if we don’t have to make food this gives me an excuse to do some cooking count me in

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’m probably gonna have a TON of leftovers i can bring over

 **carrierpidgeon:** as long as we schedule in time for group video games so i can own lance’s ass

 **lanceylance:** keith already owns this ass sorry

 **kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops sorry pidge

 **carrierpidgeon:** DSFGNHGDSFT HEATHENS

 **takashmeoutside:** giant mario kart tournament with brackets and everything

 **kogayne:** YES

 **lanceylance:** TIME TO KICK ALL OF YOUR ASSES AT RAINBOW ROAD

 **kogayne:** STEP ASIDE THAT LEVEL WAS /MADE/ FOR MY GAY ASS

 **lanceylance:** BRING IT KOGANE

 **kogayne:** YOU’RE ON MCCLAIN

 **carrierpidgeon:** i am going to wipe the floor with both of you

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** so while the Adults™ work on friday, who wants to get into shenanigans at the mall

 **hunkerdunker:** keith is 18 he’s an adult too

 **kogayne:** don’t u dare put me in that category

 **lanceylance:** shhh he is a mere child, he has a mullet, don’t give him adult expectations

 **kogayne:** you love my mullet stfu

 **shayfromstatefarm:** anyway i vote yes on these mall shenanigans

 **carrierpidgeon:** has anyone here had their license long enough to legally drive us past 11

 **hunkerdunker:** hi hello it’s me

 **kogayne:** i mean i have too but

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we all trust hunk behind the wheel more than keith

 **shayfromstatefarm:** do you remember last year, after that one football game when we all got into a car with him as the driver

 **hunkerdunker:** i’ve never felt my pulse that fast

 **lanceylance:** the exact moment i knew he was the one

 **carrierpidgeon:** can i kick lance from this chat

 **kogayne:** no

 **hunkerdunker:** unfortunately no

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

 **lanceylance:** y’all are doin me so dirty

 **lanceylance:** except keith

 **lanceylance:** love ya baaaabe~

 **carrierpidgeon:** barf

 **lanceylance:** oh barf to you too

 **lanceylance:** so are we all in for mall shenanigans

 **carrierpidgeon:** i am going to raid every store i can find

 **lanceylance:** CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

 **kogayne:** oh boy

 **shayfromstatefarm:** friday is just going to be one wild day

 **lanceylance:** we’re gonna have to reinstate Team No Sleep as the gc name

 **carrierpidgeon:** not HOLIDAY HOES?

 **lanceylance:** sHIT

 **lanceylance:** it’s gonna be HOLIDAY HOES like all of december tho

 **lanceylance:** ferhrgewrgfd we’ll see

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** keith and lance are sitting on my couch, very intently texting with the most mischievous looks i’ve ever seen

 **allurable:** black friday plans

 **mattata:** pidge has the signature Gremlin Grin, it’s definitely black friday plans

 **takashmeoutside:** do we trust hunk and shay to be the responsible ones

 **allurable:** responsible enough to keep them in check but not enough to shut down these plans

 **mattata:** as long as they don’t show up to target while shiro and i are on shift

 **takashmeoutside:** true

 **allurable:** good luck to you two, maybe i’ll tell my dad i’m going to get him coffee and sneak away to see you guys

 **mattata:** PLEASE

 **takashmeoutside:** ^^^

 **allurable:** alright, will do!!

 **allurable:** shiro, i’ll see you and keith tomorrow,

 **allurable:** and either way, i’ll be seeing both of you friday!!

 **takashmeoutside:** <3

 **mattata:** <3

 **allurable:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okie dokie artichokies, i'm gonna try and finish sgd chapter 18 this weekend, and if it doesn't happen i will be severely disappointed in myself!! see ya when the next chapter of this goes up!!


	57. Thanksgiving Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanksgiving, ft. the local football game, matt and shiro beginning the target shifts from hell, and the high schoolers making a new game. (also, klance, because reasons.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanksgiving y'all, i'm thankful that i have such wonderful readers, i love all of you

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey starboy, happy thanksgiving. i want you to know that i’m incredibly grateful that you’re in my life, and i get to wake up every single day knowing that i have you, and that one day i’ll be waking up /next to you/ and raising a family with you. i have trouble showing it sometimes but i love you so much, i was pining after you for a while and i still can’t believe?? we actually got together??? i’m still in awe. i look at you and everything else fades away and?? i fucking love you so much, lance mcclain. the universe has thrown a lot of shit my way and the best thing it ever threw me was you. i’m so thankful for you, and i don’t know where i’d be without you. 

**lanceylance:** YOU ASSHOLE, 

**lanceylance:** I WAKE UP AND IMMEDIATELY START CRYING??? WHAT THE FUCK???

**lanceylance:** A S S H O L E

**lanceylance:** WHAT THE  F U C K

**lanceylance:** IT IS /THANKSGIVING/ AND YOU’RE OUT HERE DOING /THIS SAPPY SHIT/???

**lanceylance:** H O W  DID I LAND YOU

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** i love you so much,,,, i wanna kiss ur face like rIGHT NOW

**kogayne:** well are we going to the football game or what

**lanceylance:** YES and i have Sharky

**kogayne:** NICE i’m bringing the hippo for double the warmth

**lanceylance:** wanna get hot chocolate before we hit the field

**kogayne:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**lanceylance:** :) i’ll be there in about an hour, take a shower mullethead

**kogayne:** i showered already :))))

**lanceylance:** fUCK I’M SLACKING

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** happy thanksgiving everyone!! so thankful to be friends with all of you!!  <33

**hunkerdunker:** thankful for you too sunshine :)

**carrierpidgeon:** i guess i like my friends

**lanceylance:** FRIENDSHIP

**mattata:** thank u 4 ur contribution

**shayfromstatefarm:** but pls also remember thanksgiving was founded upon genocide :))))))))))))))))

**hunkerdunker:** mmmm yep

**lanceylance:** [long sigh] fuckign europeans

**mattata:** cool so we’re using the day to praise the fuck out of our friends before we enter the commercial hellscape that is black friday, correct

**allurable:** guess so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**kogayne:** good luck to you and shiro :)

**takashmeoutside:** i will personally fight you

**kogayne:** what do u think u’ll win

**kogayne:** i can take you

**takashmeoutside:** oh really?

**carrierpidgeon:** LET’S TAKE SIDES I’M ON TEAM SHIRO

**kogayne:** what the fuck,

**carrierpidgeon:** ur cousin is ripped my guy, idk how to tell you that u are a mere twig compared to him

**mattata:** ^^^^^ you have no chance i know how strong he is ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** AND WE ALL COULD’VE DONE WITHOUT THE WINKY FACE

**allurable:** team takashi!

**hunkerdunker:** sorry keith i’m with shiro

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m on keith’s side for this one, i feel like he’d pull something and yank the win out from under shiro

**lanceylance:** i’m siding with keith

**carrierpidgeon:** we didn’t expect anything else

**lanceylance:** i LOVE him

**kogayne:** oh man i would sure hope so

**hunkerdunker:** ...wait a minute is that you two at the front of the bleachers

**lanceylance:** ...IS THAT YOU AND SHAY

**carrierpidgeon:** WAIT YOU’RE ALL AT THE GAME

**takashmeoutside:** YOU’RE AT THE GAME???

**mattata:** WAIT IS EVERYONE AT THE FOOTBALL GAME

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH WHEN DID YOU GO TO THE GAME

**kogayne:** SHIRO WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** ?!

**kogayne:** I LITERALLY SHOUTED TO YOU THAT I WAS LEAVING WITH LANCE

**kogayne:** SINCE WHEN WERE YOU GOING????

**takashmeoutside:** ALLURA ASKED ME AND MATT TO GO AND MATT WAS BRINGING PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** I’VE BEEN STUCK WITH THE ADULTS™ ALL DAY WHEN THE TEENS™ ARE HERE???

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHERE ARE YOU PIDGE, I’LL COME GET YOU

**hunkerdunker:** KLANCE GET YOUR BUTTS UP HERE

**lanceylance:** COMING, HUNKERDUNKER

**mattata:** for a group chat that touts good communications skills and emphasizes their importance, how did we fuck this one up

**allurable:** it’s Us

**allurable:** obliviousness 101

**takashmeoutside:** smh

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** surreal thought: that was our last football game

**lanceylance:** like ever

**lanceylance:** at least, as high school kids

**lanceylance:** we’re never going to experience that again

**lanceylance:** ...yo what the FUCK

**lanceylance:** QUE MIERDA

**hunkerdunker:** CAN YOU NOT POINT THAT OUT

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** is this be more chill

**carrierpidgeon:** ...wait so this means that next year i’ll be the only kid in the gc still in high school

**carrierpidgeon:** ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

**lanceylance:** I NEED A MINUTE /HOLY SHIT/

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance mcclain, on-bringer of existential crises

**kogayne:** how am i going to survive the rest of my life with him

**hunkerdunker:** as his best friend for 13 years,

**hunkerdunker:** you /don’t/

**takashmeoutside:** you see, that realization fades with time as you realize that everything you do is your last time doing something

**takashmeoutside:** last time being in that exact spot at that exact age with the knowledge you have now, last time ever seeing thanksgiving as a high schooler, last time being with that exact same group of people in the stadium,

**kogayne:** hey shiro?

**takashmeoutside:** yes keith?

**kogayne:** SHUT THE FUCK UP WHAT THE /FUCK/

**hunkerdunker:** shiro are you okay

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**mattata:** he’s been like this for as long as i could remember

**allurable:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**kogayne:** what the hell he’s never like this

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** congratulations this entire group chat is having an existential crisis

**allurable:** SO ANYWAY

**mattata:** i’m taking pidge home i’ll text y’all later

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m about to knock myself into next week with a food coma and block out this crisis goodbye

**lanceylance:** keith are you leaving with me or shiro

**kogayne:** i feel like it’s easier to go with shiro

**lanceylance:** bet

**hunkerdunker:** and i will be going home to finish cooking

**shayfromstatefarm:** as will i

**allurable:** gotta go set up before the broganes arrive!!! goodbye everyone and happy thanksgiving!!!!

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey hope i’m not interrupting anything

**lanceylance:** not really, why

**lanceylance:** everything okay?

**kogayne:** yeah i’m fine

**kogayne:** i uh

**kogayne:** okay so you know how i turned down ur invite

**lanceylance:** yes????

**kogayne:** um

**kogayne:** okay so shiro and matt both have to be in target soon so they can prep to open for the sale and i don’t have anything else to do, allura was gonna go do stuff for her dad or something and???

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna impose but

**lanceylance:** smh just get ur butt over here

**lanceylance:** do you need a ride? i can pick you up

**kogayne:** nah shiro was gonna drop me off

**kogayne:** i just needed to make sure i wasn’t intruding

**lanceylance:** nah man!! clara and javier have been demanding to know why you didn’t come

**lanceylance:** the fam is gonna be so excited to see u omfg

**lanceylance:** I’M EXCITED TO SEE YOU

**lanceylance:** AAAAH :D

**kogayne:** why are you such a pile of mush

**lanceylance:** u love mushy lance u fucker

**kogayne:** of course i do :)  <3

**kogayne:** i’ll be over in about half an hour

**lanceylance:** i just told my family, you’re expected now

**lanceylance:** just a warning my mother is going to try and shove food down ur throat

**lanceylance:** “done with dinner this early? no way he ate enough.”

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**lanceylance:** i’ll do what i can to spare u but ultimately ur on ur own

**lanceylance:** good luck outrunning Mama McClain

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**takashmeoutside:** WE AREN’T EVEN OPEN YET AND THERE’S ALREADY A LINE STRETCHING AROUND THE FRONT OF THE STORE WHAT THE FUCK

**mattata:** pray for us we’re gonna die probably

**takashmeoutside:** i /just/ got rehired here why didn’t i wait till after thanksgiving to reapply

**mattata:** so u could see ur handsome boyfriend in ur final moments duh

**allurable:** i read that in the voice of amanda seyfried

**allurable:** “i’m a mouse, duh”

**mattata:** ...oh no

**lanceylance:** MATT AS KAREN

**carrierpidgeon:** ALLURA IS REGINA

**allurable:** excuse me

**kogayne:** psst shiro is gretchen

**lanceylance:** i’m cady

**lanceylance:** keith is aaron

**kogayne:** wait that means i have to date allura at some point and idk how to tell u this but uhhhh I’M GAY AS FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** ...so anyway i’m janis and hunk is damian

**shayfromstatefarm:** and i am spared, praise bless

**carrierpidgeon:** kevin

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ll take it

**mattata:** wrong wrong wrong if you’re gonna do this do it right

**mattata:** ur plastics cast is fine BUT

**mattata:** PIDGE is kevin

**mattata:** LANCE is damian

**mattata:** KEITH is janis

**mattata:** SHAY is cady

**mattata:** HUNK is aaron

**kogayne:** i’m down with this

**hunkerdunker:** allura and i, a true pan powerhouse pairing

**carrierpidgeon:** amazing ace-certified alliteration

**lanceylance:** bi boy bids you goodbye

**kogayne:** i’m gay

**mattata:** thanks for ur contribution

**kogayne:** okay so while i’m talking i have to publicly call out lance’s family

**lanceylance:** SDGHNTYRESDGTYMYRHD I WILL EXPOSE YOU

**kogayne:** i love them dearly but nEVER GO THERE FOR DINNER

**kogayne:** THEY WOULDN’T LET ME LEAVE THE TABLE TILL I ATE EVERYTHING THEY PUT ON MY PLATE, 

**kogayne:** I’M TRYING NOT TO FALL ASLEEP FROM ALL THE TRYPTOPHAN IN THE TURKEY AND????

**lanceylance:** DFGBNHTRHESFDNTH

**lanceylance:** i will EXPOSE

**kogayne:** YOU WOULDN’T

**lanceylance:** KEITH CAN

**kogayne:** STUFF A SOCK IN IT LANCE

**lanceylance:** charm any adult in a 50 mile radius, why does my family love him so much, half of them have only met him like 1 other time

**kogayne:** BOI

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** what, did u think i’d really expose? ;)

**kogayne:** i was THIS CLOSE to chucking your phone into the wall in full view of your family

**lanceylance:** my siblings would probably applaud you 

**lanceylance:** lmfao are u ever gonna tell the others

**kogayne:** i dunno

**lanceylance:** i really don’t get why you hide it…? like, your voice has been blessed by jesus, basically

**lanceylance:** if u were a mythical creature u’d be a fucking siren man

**kogayne:** i just...i don’t know

**kogayne:** it’s just not something i like a lot of people knowing

**kogayne:** i can’t explain it, it’s not like there’s some traumatizing event surrounding it, i just,,, like to keep it to myself, i guess

**kogayne:** well, and you

**kogayne:** ...and your family

**kogayne:** wow i am sort of bad at keeping this a secret

**lanceylance:** my family is sworn to secrecy, if it’s any consolation

**kogayne:** it is

**kogayne:** i dunno, maybe i’ll do something around christmas

**kogayne:** for now, i just,,, i like it this way

**kogayne:** just u and ur fam

**lanceylance:** okay

**lanceylance:** ur so cute wtf this is so soft

**kogayne:** dsasdfasfsdnhtdfhfkl I’M NOT CU

**kogayne:** fuck it i love it when u call me cute tbh

**lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** YOU CALL ME OUT ALL THE TIME FOR CALLING YOU CUTE

**kogayne:** ...yeah, bc i know you’ll keep doing it, it’s called reverse psychology

**kogayne:** but yeah i rlly like being called cute, congrats, why am i opening up like this, what did ur fam do to that turkey,,,,, is there like, truth serum in it

**lanceylance:** HOLD UP I NEED TO PROCESS I AM INTERNALLY SCREAMING

**lanceylance:** I MIGHT ACTUALLY START SCREAMING

**kogayne:** don’t scream, clara and javier will demand to know what’s up

**lanceylance:** THYTHRGEFST

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** dude how are you gonna go thru with our plans if you’re falling asleep

**kogayne:** something tells me lance won’t let me fall asleep

**kogayne:** just inject espresso directly into my bloodstream

**carrierpidgeon:** BIG MOOD

**carrierpidgeon:** CAN WE HIT UP DUNKS

**shayfromstatefarm:** are we gonna find an open one anywhere

**kogayne:** there’s gotta be a 24 hour one somewhere in the mall

**allurable:** hold on

**mattata:** what are you hooligans up to

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s rich, coming from the biggest hooligan in the group chat

**hunkerdunker:** nothing really, just some midnight shopping shenanigans

**takashmeoutside:** YOU FUCKERS ARE PART OF THE REASON I’M GOING TO BE A ZOMBIE ON MY SHIFT /TOMORROW/

**kogayne:** hold up, you’re working tonight,,, and then they expect you to go /back/

**takashmeoutside:** i get out at 1ish. i have to be back for 8.

**shayfromstatefarm:** yikes™

**lanceylance:** oof

**allurable:** i suppose i’ll be running you and matt coffee tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** allura, light of my life,

**mattata:** fiona to my shrek,

**allurable:** yeah yeah i’ve got you two covered

**lanceylance:** they’re so whipped

**carrierpidgeon:** need i pull up the screenshots of your cheesy nicknames for cryptid kogane over here

**carrierpidgeon:** OH HEY SPEAKING OF CRYPTIDS

**carrierpidgeon:** i have a new counseling session scheduled for saturday, with shiro’s college therapist

**carrierpidgeon:** keith, matt, you’re coming

**mattata:** i’m going to be so dead on saturday but okay

**kogayne:** sure

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m pretty sure nothing can be worse than the first guy so i’m slightly more optimistic here

**takashmeoutside:** she’s a good woman, i think you’ll like her

**carrierpidgeon:** i sure hope so

**carrierpidgeon:** ...okay can someone change the subject now before i start thinking about things

**lanceylance:** HUNK WHAT TIME ARE YOU PICKING EVERYONE UP

**hunkerdunker:** i dunno, in about three, four hours?

**hunkerdunker:** chill out for now

**lanceylance:** are we taking the old nissan or the minivan

**hunkerdunker:** considering there are five of us and we’re probably gonna buy stuff, minivan

**lanceylance:** DIBS ON THE BACK WITH KEITH

**carrierpidgeon:** good, the middle seats are separated, i can be all by myself

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve got claim on shotgun

**takashmeoutside:** i feel like i should be slightly more concerned about this but there is a growing mob waiting to get in the store, and unlike matt, i do not have the luxury of being on cashier duty

**kogayne:** are you /opening/

**mattata:** lmao no he’s on restock duty

**mattata:** /sendak/ is opening

**lanceylance:** rest in pieces fucker

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** okay here’s the plan

**hunkerdunker:** i’m leaving now

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll get shay first, just because she’s the closest and also my girlfriend, then i’ll get pidge, and klance’ll be the last to be picked up

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^ solely so we spend the least amount of time possible listening to you two suck face in the back seat

**lanceylance:** excuse me, we were just gonna cuddle and be soft, but now that you’ve insulted us

**hunkerdunker:** [long sigh]

**shayfromstatefarm:** same.jpeg

**hunkerdunker:** anyway

**lanceylance:** >:/

**hunkerdunker:** after we get you all, we hit the mall, and if dunkin isn’t open, starbucks in target probably is

**lanceylance:** STARBS, REALLY

**hunkerdunker:** suck it up

**hunkerdunker:** FUCK

**hunkerdunker:** I MEAN SHIT FHVUDJDGFDRE

**carrierpidgeon:** STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS SHUT UP

**lanceylance:** ……….

**lanceylance:** hey keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeith~

**kogayne:** hunk this is your fault

**hunkerdunker:** i live with my regrets every passing day

**hunkerdunker:** ANYWAY, i’m on my way

**kogayne:** you did not just rhyme that

**lanceylance:** NEW CHALLENGE

**carrierpidgeon:** CAN WE ADD MONEY

**lanceylance:** YES mostly because i know i won’t lose bc i’m good at this sort of stuff

**shayfromstatefarm:** i have concerns

**carrierpidgeon:** GO FOR IT, IT’LL MAKE UP FOR EVERY TIME YOU GROSSLY FLIRT WITH KEITH

**lanceylance:** the rest of this group chat, from now until 12 AM saturday, must be in rhyme

**hunkerdunker:** what if we choose not to text in this group chat

**lanceylance:** i will be very mad at that

**lanceylance:** we’ll just have to transfer the game over to there

**lanceylance:** as it’ll be the only way to make it fair

**lanceylance:** two lines must rhyme, back to back,

**carrierpidgeon:** ruin it, and you’ll catch flack

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re out when you break the chain

**carrierpidgeon:** and because of our motto, no pain no gain,

**lanceylance:** losers owe ultimate winner twenty bucks

**carrierpidgeon:** and that’s EACH, our friends, GOOD LUCK

**kogayne:** i hate both of you

**hunkerdunker:** what have we just agreed to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bloop
> 
> for anyone hoping for an update about the next update of stars go down: i know where i need to go, i'm aiming for an upload no later than 12 AM saturday (so like, approximately 24 hours from the time this chapter goes up), so keep an eye out


	58. "this whole thing reads like really bad shakespeare" -takashi shirogane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> black friday ft. rhyming assholes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so obviously this didn't go up on friday whOOPS

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**takashmeoutside:** we were supposed to close at midnight

**takashmeoutside:** tell me why it’s 12:30 and we’re still hunting down customers

**lanceylance:** hello, takashi allura and matt

**lanceylance:** you three are not rhyming, and we are doing just that

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s a game we created,

**lanceylance:** and we might’ve been berated

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i hate this game

**kogayne:** i think it’s lame

**mattata:** A RHYMING GAME BEING PLAYED IN THE CHAT?

**mattata:** WHAT A SITUATION, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT

**takashmeoutside:** i didn’t agree to this

**kogayne:** if we don’t rhyme it’s our cash we’ll miss

**takashmeoutside:** I AM NOT SUFFERING THROUGH BLACK FRIDAY JUST TO BE TOLD I HAVE TO COUGH UP CASH FOR A STUPID GAME

**allurable:** if i lose money then you’re taking the blame

**takashmeoutside:** what the fuck

**lanceylance:** come on and play you shmuck

**takashmeoutside:** i agreed to no such thing

**mattata:** is all we have just a fling?

**takashmeoutside:** wh

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** holler, holler

**lanceylance:** shiro owes the winner of this game twenty dollars

**takashmeoutside:** I’M NOT PLAYING

**kogayne:** what the fuck are you saying

**takashmeoutside:** HOW DID HE ROPE YOU INTO THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re ruining our bliss

**kogayne:** it’s lance

**lanceylance:** i know how to make cryptid kogane dance

**kogayne:** ...never put it like that again holy fuck

**lanceylance:** aw, am i out of luck

**carrierpidgeon:** i didn’t think this through

**carrierpidgeon:** seeing them flirt in rhyme makes me want to get hit over the head with a shoe

**kogayne:** i’m not flirting

**hunkerdunker:** i am going to steal the opportunity from lance to use the word “squirting”

**lanceylance:** HUNK YOU TRAITOR

**lanceylance:** TURNING ON THIS GAME’S CREATOR

**allurable:** what if we all just stop playing

**takashmeoutside:** you people are the reason my hair is graying

**lanceylance:** HOW DARE YOU ALL

**lanceylance:** LETTING THIS GAME CRUMBLE AND FALL

**kogayne:** i’m gonna send singular messages with dumb words so everyone else can’t rhyme so i can beat lance’s crusty ass: orange

**lanceylance:** um i googled it and found a word called sporange

**lanceylance:** it’s totally a word

**kogayne:** um no, none of us have ever heard

**kogayne:** it

**lanceylance:** it’s an alternative term for sporangium, which is a part of a fern or similar plant, you GIT

**shayfromstatefarm:** everyone can either just stop texting for one day or just send all of their thoughts in one big text so that when we reply you only have to rhyme the last word. besides, no one ever said it even had to make sense, just tack on a rhyming word to the end of the texts

**lanceylance:** YOU PEOPLE ARE NO FUN, WHAT’S NEXT

**lanceylance:** YOU’VE THROWN ME AND MY GAME UNDER THE BUS

**lanceylance:** ALL BECAUSE YOU /LOSERS/ HAVE TO MAKE A BIG FUSS

**lanceylance:** RHYMING ISN’T EVEN HARD 

**carrierpidgeon:** having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card!

**hunkerdunker:** or, we make a separate group chat without lance

**lanceylance:** THAT GROUP CHAT WOULDN’T STAND A CHANCE

**allurable:** actually it’s been going on for some time

**kogayne:** and it’s a safe haven where we don’t /have/ to rhyme

**lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR SOME TIME

**lanceylance:** I HAVE BEEN  B E T R A Y E D ,  WHAT A CRIME

**takashmeoutside:** you act like we don’t have one for keith or pidge 

**carrierpidgeon:** um i need a little bit of explanation, maybe just a smidge

**kogayne:** probably for the same reasons we have one for lance, which, thanks, glad to know u all have my back

**lanceylance:** gotta protect my boyf from attack :)

**kogayne:** so anyway everyone in favor of moving to the other group chat

**lanceylance:** i resent that

**lanceylance:** where’s your sense of fun and spirit???

**lanceylance:** i don’t hear it!!!

**kogayne:** alright starboy, put the phone down, it’s time to finish shopping so we can go home and sleep

**lanceylance:** you all are a disgrace to this game, tis for your pathetic lives i weep

**kogayne:** okay that’s enough

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE ALL BAD AT RHYMING, YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT STUFF

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**mattata:** SHIRO AND I ARE FREE

_ (1) photo from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** DO YOU SEE THESE LOOKS? THESE ARE LOOKS OF UTTER JOY

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re out, boy

**mattata:** fUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** better pay that 20 bucks :)

**lanceylance:** shiro and matt are out

**lanceylance:** next will probably be keith, without a doubt 

**kogayne:** ...you’re egging me on, aren’t you

**hunkerdunker:** so what are you gonna do

**kogayne:** if seven people lose and one person wins, that’s 7 x 20 = 140, which is 140 bucks for ME

**kogayne:** you’re on, lancey

**allurable:** matt shiro it is 2 in the freaking morning

**takashmeoutside:** yeah well those shoppers took forever to track down and then the manager didn’t want us losing out on sales so we had to ring them up

**mattata:** the Worst customers ever

**lanceylance:** sounds like an awful endeavor

**lanceylance:** NOW WHERE ARE YOUR RHYMES

**mattata:** we’re already out ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** is losing twenty dollars worth not having to scout

**shayfromstatefarm:** rhymezone for words to send to the chat

**hunkerdunker:** you’re really gonna give up, just like that

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m considering

**hunkerdunker:** don’t do a thing

**hunkerdunker:** go to bed, maybe you’ll feel different after some rest

**lanceylance:** OR YOU /COULD/ GIVE UP NOW, BECAUSE NO ONE BEATS LANCEYLANCE, HE’S THE BEST

**takashmeoutside:** keith pls put ur boyfriend to sleep

**kogayne:** i’ve been trying for the past half hour to make him count sheep

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE YOU STILL IN ON THIS BULLSHIT

**kogayne:** i’ve been challenged, now i can’t quit

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** OKAY SO NOW THAT WE’RE IN A SEPARATE CHAT

**kogayne:** oh thank god

**takashmeoutside:** where are all of you now

**takashmeoutside:** are you still out, did you go home…?

**kogayne:** we went home about half an hour ago

**kogayne:** and by home i mean pidge, lance, and i are all in the living room

**kogayne:** hunk and shay went to hunk’s house

**kogayne:** pidge is interrupting date night

**takashmeoutside:** and why was i not informed

**kogayne:** i was under the assumption you were either going home with matt or bringing matt here or even going to allura’s

**takashmeoutside:** so in short: you had no idea where i was going

**kogayne:** nope but i was assuming you were going wherever matt went

**kogayne:** and obviousy lance and i are joined at the hip and we weren’t just gonna leave pidge all by herself, but hunk and shay wanted some quality time together

**kogayne:** so lance and i took on the roles of Good Older Brother Figures, just as we’ve been raised to do

**takashmeoutside:** obviousy

**kogayne:** shut the fuck up granola bar

**takashmeoutside:** anyway, you were right, i am going out with matt

**takashmeoutside:** we’re gonna go back to his house and leave you kids alone

**kogayne:** okay have fun use protection xoxoxoxo

**takashmeoutside:** your boyfriend is rubbing off on you in the worst way possible

**kogayne:** expose me and you’ll regret it

**takashmeoutside:** blackmail folder xoxoxo

**kogayne:** what a hypocrite, matt’s rubbing off even worse on you

**takashmeoutside:** we’ve been friends forever, the rubbing off stage is over with, i can impersonate matt at the drop of a hat

**kogayne:** you just,,,,

**takashmeoutside:** FUCK

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** psst, is anyone still awake

**lanceylance:** for i have a proposition to make

**carrierpidgeon:** go to bed it’s 3 in the fucking morning

**lanceylance:** your comment has me mourning

**kogayne:** that’s the same word, you can’t rhyme that

**lanceylance:** spelled differently, eat a hat

**kogayne:** what the fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** he and i made the game, you’re a sitting duck

**kogayne:** i swear

**lanceylance:** boohoo, go whine about how it’s no fair

**kogayne:** YOU’RE SO RUDE WHEN WE PLAY GAMES LIKE THIS

**hunkerdunker:** wow, what a diss

**kogayne:** i can’t tell if that was sarcastic

**hunkerdunker:** that’s what makes it so fantastic

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge, why are /you/ awake

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE LOSERS TO OVERTAKE

**kogayne:** she’s playing mario kart online

**shayfromstatefarm:** am i supposed to believe that that’s fine

**kogayne:** no, actually, she’s yelling and lance is egging her on and i jUST WANT SLEEP

**lanceylance:** take ur own advice and count those sheep

**kogayne:** i’m about to leave my own house and go to the holt house with matt and shiro

**lanceylance:** do you expect your cousin to save u like some hero

**kogayne:** i will give u one more chance to shut up or you sleep alone

**hunkerdunker:** OH SHIT

**lanceylance:** oof, what a hit

**lanceylance:** hunk is out and my boyfriend has threatened me

**kogayne:** i will kick u out and lock the door and hide the spare key

**hunkerdunker:** ...FUCK I’M OUT

**kogayne:** u don’t need to shout

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** HUNK IS OUT

**takashmeoutside:** what’s this about me saving keith

**lanceylance:** ignore that text, pay attention to what’s underneath

**kogayne:** i threatened to leave and come to the holt house bc pidge is playing mario kart and he’s yelling and it’s 3 AM and i just wANT TO GO TO BED

**lanceylance:** i told him to go lie down his head

**takashmeoutside:** ...i can’t take this situation seriously when this whole thing reads like bad shakespeare i’m leaving good night 

**kogayne:** SHIRO YOU CAN’T LEAVE WHEN THE SITUATION ISN’T RIGHT

**takashmeoutside:** anyway bye

**kogayne:** LEAVING ME HIGH AND DRY

**takashmeoutside:** until you give up the game i don’t claim you

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**lanceylance:** GOOD MORNING CREW

**lanceylance:** let’s take a look at who’s still in

**lanceylance:** me and keith, pidge and shay, allura...that’s it, the rest of you live in non-rhyming SIN

**takashmeoutside:** it’s 9 AM and i’ve been at work for an hour already and i think i prefer my job to this group chat right now

**kogayne:** h o w

**takashmeoutside:** your boyfriend

**lanceylance:** I WILL NOT BEND

**allurable:** it’s funny because he’s the most flexible person here

**kogayne:** don’t cheer

**kogayne:** him on, pls don’t,

**allurable:** it’s too late for me to say i won’t

**lanceylance:** FLEXIBLE, YOU SAY?

**lanceylance:** HERE, LET ME JUST STRETCH AWAY

_ (4) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** how do you like these, grumpypants, dear boy of mine

**kogayne:** i will not give you the satisfaction, i will hardline

**kogayne:** my commitment to being mad at you until this whole thing is OVER

**mattata:** DID LANCE END UP SLEEPING ALONE LAST NIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** gave lance quite a fright

**lanceylance:** cryptid kogane has many knives,

**lanceylance:** unlike cats, i do not have nine lives,

**kogayne:** him and sharky in the guest room

**carrierpidgeon:** had lance in quite the gloom

**kogayne:** pidge got the couch

**carrierpidgeon:** i woke up to lance hardcore rhyming and keith being a grouch

**takashmeoutside:** so dinner’s gonna be awkard or………?

**allurable:** awkard

**lanceylance:** wow, i didn’t think this game was so hard

**allurable:** ...SHIT

**takashmeoutside:** so anyway, dinner

**takashmeoutside:** that’s still a thing, right

**kogayne:** dinner with all of us is on tonight

**kogayne:** lance doesn’t get food if he makes me keep rhyming like this

**takashmeoutside:** JUST QUIT HOLY SHIT

**kogayne:** i’ve been challenged, i will not quit

**takashmeoutside:** THEN STOP COMPLAINING

**allurable:** ah, quality broganes

**mattata:** ikr

**hunkerdunker:** i didn’t realize how freeing it is not to play this game

**lanceylance:** you should feel nothing but complete and utter SHAME

**hunkerdunker:** but i don’t

**kogayne:** and he won’t

**shayfromstatefarm:** so you’re saying we’re down to the final four

**carrierpidgeon:** and if the rest of you just give up, no one has to play anymore

**kogayne:** I WILL NOT GIVE IN

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe what i’m reading right now, i hate to say it but i’m going back to work bye

**lanceylance:** no one will miss ur traitorous ways, and when i say this, i do not lie

**allurable:** i’ll miss u and matt!! lance is a liar!!

**kogayne:** whose pants are on fire

**lanceylance:** mis pantalones no están en el fuego

**allurable:** i wish u would fuego away

**lanceylance:** OH, YOU DON’T SAY

**hunkerdunker:** that was cold but also such a great roast holy shit

**lanceylance:** THAT’S IT

**kogayne:** oh no

**lanceylance:** OHOHOHO

**lanceylance:** SOLO VOY A HABLAR ESPAÑOL

**hunkerdunker:** here, i’ll sabotage, since it’s hard for anyone to rhyme with that

**carrierpidgeon:** lance’s whole plan just went SPLAT

**lanceylance:** OKAY, SO NEW RULE: WE CAN ONLY RHYME WITH THE LAST THING A PERSON /STILL IN THE GAME/ SAID

**kogayne:** u really didn’t plan this ahead

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE RULES PARTWAY THROUGH THE GAME

**carrierpidgeon:** NOW /YOU/ SHOULD FEEL SHAME

**kogayne:** we really should’ve detailed the rules better

**kogayne:** and i’m gonna prevent lance from somehow rhyming better with wetter

**lanceylance:** I WAS GONNA USE LETTER BUT WHATEVER

**kogayne:** u’d never

**kogayne:** pass up the opportunity to make things dirty

**kogayne:** AND NO YOU CANNOT USE THE WORD SQUIRTY

**carrierpidgeon:** did you know i hate you because i’m willing to bet more money that lance wasn’t going to make this dirty until you gave him the idea

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU PIDGE

**lanceylance:** FUCK UFUKCGHTURDFNGFDERTHYRE

**hunkerdunker:** here, since you can’t rhyme with spam

**kogayne:** AND THE BIG HAM

**kogayne:** HAS BECOME BACON

**hunkerdunker:** and because that one’s hard too

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

**kogayne:** now you can leave

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s down to me, keith, and shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** we all knew lance was gonna lose anyway

**carrierpidgeon:** now if you and keith could just quit,,,

**kogayne:** never, meet me in the fuckign pit

**lanceylance:** keith does this mean we can cuddle and shit again, i was quite lonely last night

**kogayne:** fight

**kogayne:** me

**shayfromstatefarm:** i see

**shayfromstatefarm:** some tension

**carrierpidgeon:** EVERYONE, PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND APPREHENSION

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**allurable:** so wait are they in an actual fight

**carrierpidgeon:** nah more like they’re both being petty, both this morning and last night

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith is basically throwing back at lance what lance threw at him

**carrierpidgeon:** the decision to make lance sleep in the guest room was done on a whim

**takashmeoutside:** wow i really can’t believe he had the willpower

**allurable:** i thought you were working

**takashmeoutside:** i saw the change in group chat name and dropped everything

**mattata:** DSFGHTGSDFNTHTDF

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** i see

**allurable:** so when are they gonna make up

**hunkerdunker:** when the game is over, probably

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**kogayne:** shiro when are you and matt and allura coming home

**allurable:** i can come over right now

**takashmeoutside:** i’m not out until 12

**takashmeoutside:** it’s only 10:30

**mattata:** ^^^^^

**lanceylance:** can someone tell keith to fucking be nice

**mattata:** oh how the turntables

**kogayne:** be nice? i’m not able

**lanceylance:** BOI

**carrierpidgeon:** i feel like, in lance’s suffering, keith is currently taking great joy

**kogayne:** yes i am

**lanceylance:** oh shut up and scram

**kogayne:** this is my house, get out

**lanceylance:** excuse me

**kogayne:** i want to be

**kogayne:** perfectly clear: i said  l e a v e

**lanceylance:** i can’t believe

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** CORRAL YOUR COUSIN

**takashmeoutside:** do i have to

**lanceylance:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** you /did/ egg him on

**lanceylance:** you don’t think he’s serious with this whole kicking me out thing, do you

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh] why are you two like this

**lanceylance:** ...so is that a no

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** where’s the spare key

**takashmeoutside:** did he actually lock you out

**lanceylance:** your neighbor just gave me the stink eye for banging too loudly on the front door

**lanceylance:** i can hear pidge and keith laughing

**takashmeoutside:** it’s in the spare mailbox

**lanceylance:** ...THE FUCKER TOOK IT

**lanceylance:** I DIDN’T SEE HIM TAKE IT

**takashmeoutside:** he probably took it last night then

**lanceylance:** are there any alternate entrances into the house

**takashmeoutside:** the basement door should be unlocked, and if not...you’re out of luck

**lanceylance:** why is keith like this

**takashmeoutside:** bc he is

**lanceylance:** why did i fall in love with him

**takashmeoutside:** idk that’s a you problem

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**kogayne:** we’ve locked lance out

**carrierpidgeon:** and he can scream and shout

**kogayne:** but he’s staying out on the porch

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s pretty cold, he might need a torch

**shayfromstatefarm:** you guys are cruel

**kogayne:** *cool

**lanceylance:** kEITH YOU ASSHOLE LET ME IN

**hunkerdunker:** holy shit what happened

**takashmeoutside:** they locked lance outside and took the spare key

**lanceylance:** KEITH LOCKED THE BASEMENT TOO

**lanceylance:** LET ME IN YOU DICK

**kogayne:** nope, you thought you were slick

**kogayne:** making a challenge, roasting us

**kogayne:** making such a big fuss

**carrierpidgeon:** now you face the consequences of your actions

**kogayne:** and you can’t fool us with petty distractions

**lanceylance:** I WILL TAKE DRASTIC MEASURES

**lanceylance:** I WILL ROB YOUR LIFE OF ITS GREATEST PLEASURE

**kogayne:** you’re going to destroy all cryptids?

**carrierpidgeon:** and ruin the careers of the cryptkids?

**lanceylance:** I’M ACTUALLY OFFENDED

**carrierpidgeon:** your plans have been upended

**lanceylance:** i will give you two five minutes to let me back in the house

**carrierpidgeon:** or we could let you stay outside and continue to grouse

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** pls let me in i’m so cold

**kogayne:** your begging is getting old

**lanceylance:** oh shut the fuck up this is a private chat you don’t have to rhyme here

**kogayne:** i have one fear

**kogayne:** you’ll expose me to the chat and i’ll lose

**lanceylance:** LET ME BACK INTO YOUR HOUSE PLEASE

**lanceylance:** ...DID YOU JUST THROW MY BLANKET OUT THE DOOR

**kogayne:** and now it’s on the great outdoor floor

**lanceylance:** it’s called the GROUND YOU HEATHEN

**lanceylance:** LET ME IN

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**lanceylance:** KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH

**lanceylance:** YOU ARE THE WORST

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe matt, allura, and i had to let lance in

**carrierpidgeon:** why did you do that

**carrierpidgeon:** SHTITIRTHRJTHYIRG NO

**kogayne:** pidge is out, it’s now between me and shay, ohoho

**shayfromstatefarm:** have fun losing

**kogayne:** uh, no, i’m cruising

**kogayne:** riding this high

**lanceylance:** do you ever have regrets

**carrierpidgeon:** this group chat

**lanceylance:** ...HEY I MADE THIS GROUP CHAT

**lanceylance:** WHAT IS THIS, ROAST LANCE DAY

**carrierpidgeon:** just like most days

**lanceylance:** you and keith better run i’m coming for your asses

**kogayne:** IS THAT MY KNIFE

**lanceylance:** HA

**kogayne:** FUCK

**shayfromstatefarm:** looks like you’re out of luck :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** i believe i’m now owed 140 bucks?

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

**kogayne:** ...wow

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** >:(((((

**lanceylance:** you, sir, are a ginormous ASSHOLE

**lanceylance:** locking me out was LOW

**lanceylance:** JUST LIKE THE FUCKING TEMPERATURES, IT WAS 40 DEGREES

**kogayne:** yeah,,, i realized that was a dick move

**kogayne:** i’m sorry

**kogayne:** ...wait where are you, everyone else is in the living room or kitchen and you’re…???? not??? here???????

**lanceylance:** your room

**lanceylance:** in the blANKETS TRYING TO DEFROST

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**kogayne:** so i take it you wanna be left alone

**lanceylance:** um NO?? get your ass up here i miss you

**kogayne:** ...so how mad are you

**lanceylance:** we’re both sleep-deprived and we were both being ridiculous,

**lanceylance:** so:

**lanceylance:** not at all, really, i’m just giving you shit for the fun of it

**kogayne:** but i locked you out, in the cold

**lanceylance:** yeah, do you know how many times my siblings have done that over the years

**kogayne:** doesn’t make it right

**lanceylance:** you already said you’re sorry now gET UP HERE

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** hey, time for dinner, stop making out for a while and come hang out with the rest of the group

**lanceylance:** we weren’t MAKING OUT,,,

**hunkerdunker:** oh really?

**lanceylance:** why is that everyone’s first assumption

**hunkerdunker:** prior experience

**lanceylance:** ...you make a point, but anyway, no, we weren’t making out

**lanceylance:** i lured keith up here and shoved my cold hands up his shirt as revenge

**hunkerdunker:** well-played, tho i’m not sure i really needed to know that

**hunkerdunker:** anyway, come down now

**lanceylance:** aight

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**mattata:** well, the gremlin and i had fun tonight

**mattata:** keith, we’ll be seeing you bright and early tomorrow

**kogayne:** yep

**kogayne:** good night y’all

**allurable:** is that...southern keith

**takashmeoutside:** he’s exhausted

**takashmeoutside:** on the bright side, him going to bed this early means it’ll be easy to wake him up in the morning

**lanceylance:** yeah, if he doesn’t get out of bed i’ll just steal all the blankets till he leaves

**hunkerdunker:** you’re staying over there????

**lanceylance:** yep and while he’s with the holt sibs i’ll be stealing his sweatshirts and ruining pidge’s mario kart record

**carrierpidgeon:** TOUCH MY ACCOUNT AND I’LL KILL YOU

**lanceylance:** i’m jk

**carrierpidgeon:** FUCKIN BETTER BE

**kogayne:** HOW MANY OF MY SWEATSHIRTS DO YOU NEED

**lanceylance:** all of them

**kogayne:** smh next time we’re at your house i’m stealing all of /yours/

**lanceylance:** oh good bc you look so good in them,,,,

**carrierpidgeon:** and that’s my cue good night everyone

**allurable:** night

**shayfromstatefarm:** good night i expect money from those who haven’t coughed it up yet

**shayfromstatefarm:** AHEM, LANCE, MATT, HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** smh

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmm i’ll get to it, i haven’t been home since yesterday night and won’t be till tomorrow night probably

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m holding you to that

**carrierpidgeon:** you really want this cash

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep i do, you made that rule

**carrierpidgeon:** and i regret it, a lot

**lanceylance:** me too

**takashmeoutside:** okay everyone go to bed shhhhhhhhhhhh stop blowing up my phone good NIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess i have to go write the saturday chapter now huh
> 
> ANYWAY sgd updated last night so i guess i'll have to do some shameless self-promo
> 
> the _**[deceit so natural](http://archiveofourown.org/series/767406)**_ trilogy kicks off in _**[where people go to die](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539)**_ , when lotor mistakes lance for a galran spy who has just killed keith, and invites lance to come back to the empire with him. team voltron takes the opening and sends lance and keith in, and shenanigans ensue.   
> >>>sequel: _**[dynasty decapitated](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11473437/chapters/25727043)**_  
>  >>>>>>finale: _**[stars go down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/26462739)**_
> 
> see ya in the next chapter...maybe i can crank it out by like 3 AM my time lmao


	59. aaaaaAAAAA WHAT ARE CHAPTER TITLES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge has a good therapy session, ft. klangst (...a lot of kangst mostly), the impending robot apocalypse, and a big hero 6 fancast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this chapter hurt me emotionally to write why did i do that to myself

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** wake up asshole

 **kogayne:** good morning sunshine!

 **carrierpidgeon:** hi lance, wake keith up

 **kogayne:** he’s been awake, he’s in the shower right now

 **carrierpidgeon:** cool, tell him matt and i will be there in half an hour to pick him up

 **kogayne:** will do

 

**_it’s too early for this, shiro_ **

**takashmeoutside:** hey, you two, good luck today

 **carrierpidgeon:** thanks shiro

 **kogayne:** thanks cousin dearest of mine!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 **takashmeoutside:** ...lance is that you

 **kogayne:** no tis me keith your cousin whyever would you think that it’s his hot boyfriend

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith is in the shower

 **kogayne:** no i’m right herhtrjehty

 **kogayne:** hi, real keith here, thanks shiro

 **takashmeoutside:** what is going on in my house

 **kogayne:** definitely not a broken lamp that’s for sure

 **takashmeoutside:** that’s the second one in two months

 **kogayne:** whoops

 **kogayne:** also lance /might/ be on the floor grabbing at my ankles like some demon

 **takashmeoutside:** you know what i’m sorry i asked

 **carrierpidgeon:** you and me both

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **allurable:** oh no

 **mattata:** wrong ^

 **allurable:** what

 **mattata:** that was a good scream

 **lanceylance:** oh thank god

 **carrierpidgeon:** SHE’S SO NICE SHIRO THANK YOU FOR REC’ING HER WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE DONE THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE

 **takashmeoutside:** uhh you’re welcome?

 **carrierpidgeon:** she was automatically better than the other guy when she didn’t misgender me and didn’t mistake keith for my boyfriend or matt’s

 **shayfromstatefarm:** that’s good

 **mattata:** she actually recognized keith’s name after he explained who he was, she told me to tell shiro she says hi

 **takashmeoutside:** oh cool

 **carrierpidgeon:** we talked through everything and i only cried once

 **allurable:** ...so i take it you’re okay /now/?

 **carrierpidgeon:** yeah, i think so

 **carrierpidgeon:** we decided that we’re gonna do meetings bimonthly, unless my needs change

 **carrierpidgeon:** i felt a lot better after talking to her???

 **carrierpidgeon:** i mean, she didn’t tell me a ton of new stuff, yknow the whole nine yards like what’s happening is normal, i’m not weaker for it, that sort of stuff

 **takashmeoutside:** it /does/ help to hear it from a licensed professional

 **carrierpidgeon:** she gave me some “homework” to do before our next meeting tho

 **carrierpidgeon:** we talked about the reason i started getting therapy, yknow, the movie, and she wants me to BE CAREFUL and try and figure out any potential triggers for like, a breakdown

 **carrierpidgeon:** and find SOME sort of security item or person???

 **mattata:** ^^^ she wants pidge to find something or someone she feels comfortable with or could maybe carry around in case an episode comes on, especially if, for some reason, she starts dissociating or having a flashback

 **hunkerdunker:** just be careful with it, don’t accidentally set yourself off again

 **carrierpidgeon:** ik ik

 **carrierpidgeon:** all in all tho it was a pretty good experience, i’m...actually glad i went?

 **takashmeoutside:** good for you

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i didn’t wanna publicly call you out in the group chat

 **takashmeoutside:** how did things go for you?

 **kogayne:** fine, the woman you recommended is great, i felt pretty relaxed after leaving

 **takashmeoutside:** is something going on

 **kogayne:** ...nothing you need to worry about

 **takashmeoutside:** see you say things like that and then i worry

 **takashmeoutside:** what’s going on

 **kogayne:** nothing important

 **takashmeoutside:** keith

 **kogayne:** if something bad happens i’ll come to you

 **takashmeoutside:** can you just tell me what’s going on

 **kogayne:** it’s about me and lance, don’t worry about it...yet

 **takashmeoutside:** are you two fighting

 **kogayne:** no

 **kogayne:** just let me be mature and handle my own problems

 **takashmeoutside:** if you insist

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** look, i’m sorry.

 **lanceylance:** ...is this about yesterday

 **lanceylance:** wait where even are you, didn’t you come home????

 **kogayne:** it’s about more than just yesterday and yes i did i’m out back

 **lanceylance:** do we need to talk about this face to face orrrr

 **kogayne:** honestly i’d prefer to keep it over text just so i can organize my thoughts

 **lanceylance:** okay

 **lanceylance:** so what’s this about

 **kogayne:** i feel like i’m taking advantage of you

 **lanceylance:** .../what/

 **kogayne:** i

 **kogayne:** i have a lot of reasons, can you just...not respond until i get them all down

 **lanceylance:** ...okay…

 **kogayne:** one of the biggest things is yesterday, i know you said you’re not mad but i don’t get why you aren’t i locked you out of my fucking house in 40 degree whether bc i was being petty. i roast you all the time in the group chat but then i get petty when you roast me back and that’s not fair to you and??? you keep forgiving me /why/??? and then i keep ghosting on you and not telling you what’s wrong and that’s still not fair to you bc you’re so open with me and i shouldn’t be shutting you out???

 **kogayne:** i’m just so MEAN some days and you just??? take it in stride?????? why don’t you fuckign call me OUT why do you just TAKE IT

 **kogayne:** and you’re always there for me emotionally and i feel like i’m not there nearly as often for you, you know exactly what to say but some days i feel like you need help and you come to me and i just make things worse but you won’t tell me i’m making it worse,,, and then some days i’m such a downer for no fucking reason and you just roll with it what the fuck i’m not fair to you

 **kogayne:** and i’m SORRY and i’m sorry i haven’t realized and i’m sorry i didn’t apologize sooner

 **kogayne:** ...okay i’m done

 **lanceylance:** okay so i’m not sure how to respond to all of this

 **lanceylance:** i’m gonna guess that yesterday was your tipping point so i’ll address that first and get it out of the way

 **lanceylance:** yes, locking me out of your house was an incredibly shitty thing to do and yes if i get sick again i’m holding it against you, but i mean, you also did at least throw me the blanket

 **lanceylance:** and i know we were all overtired yesterday

 **kogayne:** that still doesn’t make it /right/

 **lanceylance:** no, i know it doesn’t, but i’m not gonna sit here and hold a grudge about it

 **lanceylance:** it already happened, i dunno what you want me to tell you

 **lanceylance:** “uhhhh, keith, that was bad, never do that again. blah blah blah authority”

 **lanceylance:** you already apologized and clearly you feel awful about it

 **lanceylance:** and as for everything else, we’ve been over it before: i’d tell you if it bothered me, like really truly deep down “this isn’t funny please stop right now” bothered me

 **lanceylance:** i don’t hold any of it against you, we’re two teenage boys i mean come on of course we’re gonna say ridiculous things to each other, that’s Teen Culture, gently bullying friends is how you show affection

 **lanceylance:** …”you” being a general term and not /you/ specifically

 **lanceylance:** and as for the whole thing about you not being there for me: what the /fuck/ are you talking about

 **lanceylance:** you’re always there when i need you and i /know you/ i know that you’re not exactly the best with words or comfort or people in general but you try your damn hardest and that’s all that matters to me, i /know/ you /care/

 **lanceylance:** obviously you’re not trying to hurt me on purpose

 **lanceylance:** ...okay so locking me out was kind of intentional but i would’ve been a lot more hurt or scared if you’d been *legitimately* angry at me

 **lanceylance:** if you were trying to hurt me on purpose or were being mean /consciously knowing/ that i’d forgive you, then yeah, i’d say you were taking advantage of me, but you clearly /aren’t/

 **lanceylance:** ...right

 **kogayne:** i’m not trying to be mean on purpose but it HAPPENS and i don’t get called out and the pattern continues and i just,,,

 **lanceylance:** so what do you want to come of this conversation

 **lanceylance:** how do we move forward from here

 **kogayne:** i just,,, can you pls like.../try/ and hold me a little more accountable for my actions

 **lanceylance:** kinda hard to do when they don’t really make me upset but i’ll do my best

 **lanceylance:** is there anything else

 **kogayne:** …

 **lanceylance:** keith?

 **lanceylance:** don’t tell me you’re thinking what i think you’re thinking, don’t go there

 **kogayne:** i’m sorry, i don’t /want/ to, but you deserve better

 **lanceylance:** listen to me: if people ran away when things got tough instead of working things out, the divorce rate would be a lot higher than it already is. walking away doesn’t improve situations or people. people don’t learn and grow if they refuse to make things better, and just walk out when the situation doesn’t suit them anymore.

 **lanceylance:** i’ve /watched it happen/, i’ve watched people in my family walk out and get walked out on, and i’ve watched them work through their problems. i’ve seen some of the /nastiest/ fights play out and everything turned out okay in the end because people sought help and they talked things out and improved as people

 **lanceylance:** and wow i use the word people way too much

 **lanceylance:** /anyway/

 **lanceylance:** look at us. we’re talking things through. that’s the healthy thing to do.

 **lanceylance:** you said yourself you don’t wanna break up. i sure as hell don’t wanna break up. we can slow down, if you want to, i’ll even stop wearing the promise ring if it makes you feel better, but i don’t think we have to go there.

 **lanceylance:** yeah, i’ll start calling you out more. if you feel like you need to start being nicer, then try and be nicer. but i promise you, i don’t think you’re taking advantage of me. you’re worried about this which clearly means you know you screwed up and you’re sorry for it. that’s all i can ask of you.

 **kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

 **lanceylance:** …????

 **kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU WILLING TO FORGIVE ME SO EASILY

 **lanceylance:** why do you want me to be angry?

 **kogayne:** BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE

 **lanceylance:** but i’m not

 **lanceylance:** i’m not angry, and i’m not gonna blow up or storm out on you

 **lanceylance:** it’s just gonna hurt worse in the long run, and despite whatever your brain is telling you right now, you don’t deserve me blowing up on you, it’ll just make things worse

 **lanceylance:** if you want /alone time/, i can leave, and i’ll come back whenever you’re ready to socialize again

 **kogayne:** ...why does this keep happening to us

 **lanceylance:** you’re gonna need to be a little more specific here

 **kogayne:** we don’t get like this with the others

 **kogayne:** we don’t fight like this with them

 **lanceylance:** ...we’re fighting?

 **kogayne:** ...you don’t think we’re fighting?

 **lanceylance:** i thought this was more of a “keith and lance are emotional again” type of situation

 **lancyelance:** dude, this isn’t anything we can’t work through

 **kogayne:** are you sure

 **lanceylance:** we’ve done it before we’ll do it again

 **lanceylance:** look at the ring you’re wearing

 **lanceylance:** that means we’re committed

 **lanceylance:** and nothing is coming between us

 **lanceylance:** i love you, okay? this can happen a million times and we’re still gonna talk through it and work together and at the end of the day we’ll be okay

 **kogayne:** ...okay

 **kogayne:** i

 **kogayne:** i’m sorry, i’m sorry we have to go over this again, i’m sorry

 **lanceylance:** it’s okay

 **lanceylance:** i’m like 99% certain you’re having another episode right now

 **lanceylance:** i’m here for you

 **lanceylance:** whatever you need, i’m here

 **kogayne:** thank you

 **kogayne:** i’m serious

 **kogayne:** thank you

 **lanceylance:** now, do you want me to go home, do you want me to come outside with you,,

 **kogayne:** please come outside

 **lanceylance:** i’m coming right now

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** cousin dearest of yours is having another depressive episode just a head’s up

 **takashmeoutside:** oh, so that’s what that was about

 **lanceylance:** that’s what /what/ was about

 **takashmeoutside:** he was having some problem and he wouldn’t tell me what it was about, just that it was about you and him

 **lanceylance:** oh

 **lanceylance:** that’s all he said?

 **takashmeoutside:** he wanted to, quote unquote, “handle his own problems”

 **lanceylance:** well i won’t send screenshots bc there are too many but do u remember back in like, september when matt called him out for taking advantage of me

 **takashmeoutside:** oh jeez

 **lanceylance:** keith finally believed it

 **lanceylance:** and now we’re sitting in the backyard

 **lanceylance:** he’s not doing so hot

 **lanceylance:** i mean, he’ll probably be over it soon, but,,,,

 **lanceylance:** just letting you know

 **lanceylance:** i probably won’t leave until after i’m sure he’ll be fine

 **takashmeoutside:** alright, thanks for letting me know

 **lanceylance:** sure thing

 

**_carrierpidgeon > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** heyo i’ve got a question

 **shayfromstatefarm:** shoot

 **carrierpidgeon:** im supposed to be looking for people i feel safe with in case of another breakdown

 **carrierpidgeon:** are u comf with me putting you down

 **carrierpidgeon:** bc yknow, we’re friends, and also if i end up in the bathroom again you’re kind of the only one who can go in

 **shayfromstatefarm:** im honored tbh, go ahead

 **shayfromstatefarm:** how are you rn

 **carrierpidgeon:** considering i’m thinking about things that make me happy and safe, pretty good

 **carrierpidgeon:** as soon as i’m done i’m gonna work some more on rover, this time i’m trying to get him to recognize speech and understand on a basic level what it means

 **carrierpidgeon:** matt says i’m the reason the robot apocalypse is scheduled to start in 2045

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yeah pidge um what the hell

 **shayfromstatefarm:** have u seen that robot i think from like, saudia arabia

 **carrierpidgeon:** SOPHIA

 **carrierpidgeon:** HELL YES I HAVE SHE’S BOTH AMAZING AND TERRIFYING

 **shayfromstatefarm:** they granted her CITIZENSHIP, PIDGE

 **carrierpidgeon:** YEAH I KNOW

 **carrierpidgeon:** AND IT’S SCARY BUT ALSO LOOK HOW FAR TECHNOLOGY HAS COME

 **carrierpidgeon:** AND I’M THINKING OF ROVER MORE ON A BAYMAX INSTEAD OF TERMINATOR LEVEL

 **carrierpidgeon:** IF WE USED TECHNOLOGY IN THE MEDICAL FIELDS INSTEAD OF THE MILITARY FIELDS OR ECONOMIC FIELDS THINK OF ALL THE GOOD WE COULD DO

 **carrierpidgeon:** TADASHI HAMADA WAS ONTO SOMETHING

 **shayfromstatefarm:** do u ever think about how tadashi is one letter away from takashi

 **carrierpidgeon:** and they look kind of alike

 **shayfromstatefarm:** both older brother figures who are dead inside

 **carrierpidgeon:** ...I HAVE AN IDEA

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WHO WOULD BE WHO IN BIG HERO 6

 **hunkerdunker:** i’ve actually thought about this and there are two ways it could go down and it depends solely on who you cast as tadashi and hiro

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ...OH MY GOD AND HIRO IS A LETTER OFF FROM SHIRO

 **carrierpidgeon:** SHAY WE’VE UNLOCKED A CONSPIRACY

 **hunkerdunker:** let me start with who’s the same in both versions: i am wasabi, obviously, and allura is honey lemon

 **allurable:** I LOVE HER

 **hunkerdunker:** lance is fred

 **lanceylance:** why did i see this coming

 **hunkerdunker:** because i know you so well

 **lanceylance:** yeah i guess 13 years of friendship will do that to you

 **hunkerdunker:** now, if you cast shiro as tadashi, which, i mean, on-point cast, then keith is hiro

 **takashmeoutside:** TADASHI  D I E S

 **carrierpidgeon:** yeah we know

 **takashmeoutside:** :O

 **hunkerdunker:** which then means pidge is gogo

 **carrierpidgeon:** AHAHAHAHA YES I LOVE HER

 **hunkerdunker:** sorry matt and shay, you’re not in either of these casts

 **shayfromstatefarm:** callahan’s daughter, it could be either of us

 **hunkerdunker:** true true

 **hunkerdunker:** however, if we cast MATT as tadashi and PIDGE as hiro, that means KEITH is gogo, and shay and shiro can duke it out for callahan’s daughter

 **carrierpidgeon:** does this mean keith has to get the Dyed Streak of East Asian Badassery

 **mattata:** if he had an emo phase then somewhere out there exist photos of keith with hair streaks, probably

 **carrierpidgeon:** KEITH CARE TO CONFIRM

 **lanceylance:** keith does not care to confirm

 **takashmeoutside:** okie doke

 **carrierpidgeon:** who says okie doke anymore

 **takashmeoutside:** um, all the cool people

 **mattata:** you wouldn’t know cool if it bit you in the ass

 **mattata:** which, i mean,

 **takashmeoutside:** gonna stop ya there

 **lanceylance:** KINKSHAME

 **takashmeoutside:** [long sigh]

 **mattata:** ;D

 **takashmeoutside:** remind me why we’re dating again

 **mattata:** [drapes myself over a red velvet chaise while the lights go out and candles are lit. i am wearing nothing but silks. between my teeth, i clutch a rose.] because you couldn’t resist all /this/

 **carrierpidgeon:** these are mental images of my brother i didn’t want or need

 **lanceylance:** shiro and allura are the only people who appreciate this thanks for nothing

 **hunkerdunker:** begone thot

 **mattata:** HUNK NOT YOU TOO, I’VE BEEN SIDED AGAINST BY THE NICEST PERSON IN THE CHAT,

 **mattata:** SHAY, YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE

 **shayfromstatefarm:** begone, thot

 **mattata:** :O

 **mattata:** HOW DARE

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** alright, i’m turning in for the night

 **lanceylance:** you gonna be okay

 **kogayne:** yeah, i think so

 **kogayne:** before you go,

 **lanceylance:** yeah?

 **kogayne:** i don’t wanna break up

 **lanceylance:** yeah i think i got that

 **kogayne:** no, like, i’m serious, i only ever float it to give you a way out, in case you ever need it

 **lanceylance:** and like i said, i’m like glitter, impossible to get rid of

 **kogayne:** /lance i’m trying to apologize stop being cute/

 **lanceylance:** :P

 **kogayne:** um, i meant to send this to you a few days before christmas, but i think now’s as good a time as ever...it’s not done, i’m not sure it’ll ever be done, but uh

 **kogayne:** here

_[(1) link](https://open.spotify.com/user/nerdyspaceace/playlist/7Dzo9DDrKNlGsLKuzKc6C7) from  **kogayne**_

**lanceylance:** ...wait what is this

 **lanceylance:** is this a playlist?? for me????

 **kogayne:** yeah, it’s songs that remind me of us

 **kogayne:** and our relationship, and you

 **lanceylance:** fuck sleeping i’m gonna listen to the whole thing

 **lanceylance:** saturday night don’t give a FUCK keith this is amazing

 **lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **kogayne:** i love you

 **kogayne:** like a lot

 **kogayne:** and,,,, i’m still really fucking sorry about today

 **kogayne:** and for everything i’ve done to you before

 **kogayne:** i’m trying to be better, i promise

 **lanceylance:** keith i’m gonna cry

 **lanceylance:** i love you so much never forget that okay??? even when ur being a LITTLE SHIT i still love you

 **lanceylance:** good night starlight  <3

 **kogayne:** good night starboy  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and as per the usual no sunday chapter
> 
> (lmao so i promo'd that playlist on instagram a few weeks ago but in case u didn't see it :P)
> 
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA prep for sporadic updates i've got school and drama club and college deadlines all coming up this week and i really wanna give more love to stars go down, chapter 19 is coming along nicely already
> 
> k bye see you whenever the next chapter is up!!


	60. we're not out of the woods yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the chapter title is an unintentional pun i apologize in advance bc that's a serious topic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the angst isn't gone yet mostly bc i need an outlet so here we are
> 
> **trigger warning for mentioned/implied/briefly discussed ASSAULT and DEPRESSION**

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey so i know it’s the middle of the night and you’re sleeping but i just wanted to tell you now before i forgot

**kogayne:** i feel safe with you

**kogayne:** the past couple days have had me jumpy but you make me feel like everything will be okay

**kogayne:** it may not have seemed like it

**kogayne:** but it’s true

**kogayne:** you make me feel safe

**kogayne:** thank you

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** whoa, what was going on with you last night????

**lanceylance:** you okay???

**kogayne:** i wasn’t in the middle of the night, but i guess i’m okay now

**lanceylance:** what happened?

**kogayne:** after everything that happened on saturday, i emailed my therapist about what happened to me in the woods, specifically, and how my depressive episodes have been getting worse, and then i fell asleep waiting for a response and woke up at like, 2 in the morning and finally checked my inbox

**kogayne:** she wanted me to start out basically doing what pidge did: compiling a list of things that make me feel happy or safe

**lanceylance:** but you’re okay right now?

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** and i take it your stubborn butt is coming to school

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** how bad was it yesterday

**kogayne:** on a scale of 1-10? ...7?

**lanceylance:** and you’re going to school today?

**kogayne:** yes we just established that

**lanceylance:** no that was in disbelief

**lanceylance:** why don’t you take a mental health day?

**kogayne:** don’t need it, i’m good now

**lanceylance:** ...alright 

**lanceylance:** who’s picking up who

**kogayne:** u did a bunch of the driving this weekend, i’ll come get u

**lanceylance:** okay

**lanceylance:** but if you end up feeling like crap in the middle of the day don’t be afraid to go home, i can get a ride from hunk or someone

**kogayne:** ...fine

 

**_STOP CAPTAIN DOOFUS 2K17_ **

**lanceylance:** rise and shine losers we’ve got a boy to defend

**carrierpidgeon:** what’s going on with mothman

**lanceylance:** depression levels at 7 on a scale of 10 yesterday

**carrierpidgeon:** what the hell

**lanceylance:** yeah i know

**lanceylance:** he says he’s fine now and is coming to school

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’d ask why he doesn’t take a mental health day but it’s keith

**lanceylance:** mmm basically yep

**hunkerdunker:** so what’s the game plan here

**lanceylance:** CONSTANT VIGILANCE

**lanceylance:** which is kind of difficult when none of us have him periods 2-4

**hunkerdunker:** i mean, 4 he has thace, and thace knows his family, which is good

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^ i’m just a couple classrooms away period 3

**shayfromstatefarm:** and if the rumors are true about ulaz and thace,,,, he’s with ulaz period 2, i don’t think we have anything to /seriously/ worry about

**shayfromstatefarm:** i mean obviously his mental health is serious but i don’t think we need to like, lose concentration in class over it for three periods

**lanceylance:** yeah, i know, it /is/ keith, but still,,,,,,,,,,,,,

**hunkerdunker:** yeah, we know

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** what was up with keith yesterday that had him a 7 on a 10 scale

**takashmeoutside:** he had an anxiety attack in the middle of the night saturday and it was all downhill from there

**takashmeoutside:** he didn’t want me to tell anyone, that’s why i told the group chat he was spending the day sleeping and doing schoolwork

**takashmeoutside:** he especially didn’t want you to know and worry even more than you already were on saturday

**lanceylance:** your cousin i swear

**takashmeoutside:** he thought he could work through it himself, and i mean, it took him four hours, but then he was out of it the rest of the day

**takashmeoutside:** he finally caved and emailed his therapist

**lanceylance:** how was he /actually/ this morning

**lanceylance:** bc he’s about to pick me up but if he’s lying about how well he’s feeling i’m sending him back home and i’ll take myself to school

**takashmeoutside:** he seems fine to me

**takashmeoutside:** i asked him how he was feeling this morning and he said he was like, a 2

**lanceylance:** i wish he was at 0 right now but alas, depression never sleeps

**takashmeoutside:** don’t i know it

**takashmeoutside:** thanks for checking in

**lanceylance:** ummmm of course???

**takashmeoutside:** are /you/ doing okay?

**lanceylance:** aside from worrying about knife boy’s mental health i’m good, just sTRESSED AS FUCK but that’s like a 24/7 mood until college apps are done and the fall show is over and midterms are done and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** ...so you’re saying i shouldn’t be worried right now

**lanceylance:** yes exactly

 

**_Lanceylance & the Lancers_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Lanceylance & the Lancers _ ** _ to  _ **_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** we forgot to do this on friday i can’t believe us, we’re such fake holiday hoes

**lanceylance:** is it appropriate to be listening to the phineas  & ferb christmas vacation soundtrack 24/7

**carrierpidgeon:** CHRISTMAS IS STARTING NOWWW

**hunkerdunker:** why are you both like this

**carrierpidgeon:** GRAB SOME HOLLY AND MISTLETOE ‘CAUSE WE’RE GONNA GO OUT TONIIIIGHT

**lanceylance:** WE’RE GONNA BASK IN THE ELECTRIC GLOW OF A MILLION LITTLE COLORED LIIIIIGHTS

**hunkerdunker:** i’m disowning both of you

**allurable:** WE’VE GOT A LOT TO DO BEFORE THE DAWN SO WITH A MINIMUM OF INTROSPECTION

**hunkerdunker:** oh come on not you too

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...I THINK YOU’VE BETTER PUT YOUR MITTENS ON, SHAKE YOUR JINGLE BELL IN MY DIRECTION

**hunkerdunker:** S H A Y

**carrierpidgeon:** YES SHAY

**lanceylance:** SUCK ON IT HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** not my job i’ll pass

**lanceylance:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk? making a sex joke?

**carrierpidgeon:** a Rare Boi

**lanceylance:** how do i catch this pokemon

**shayfromstatefarm:** already caught it sorry

**mattata:** I MISSED THE PNF SINGALONG

**hunkerdunker:** oh thank god

**mattata:** we’ve found the grinch

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s actually never stated that the grinch hates christmas, he just hated people

**kogayne:** what a mood

**carrierpidgeon:** good morning mothman!!!

**kogayne:** good morning

**kogayne:** does anyone wanna help me hide a body

**takashmeoutside:** keith the fuck did you do

**mattata:** you’ve summoned Dad, i must become Daddy

**takashmeoutside:** okay ignoring matt,

**mattata:** >:|

**kogayne:** i have the urge to get into a fight

**takashmeoutside:** can i ask /why/?

**kogayne:** rolo and nyma are up to something

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**hunkerdunker:** just when i thought we were done with them making our lives hell

**carrierpidgeon:** what makes you think so

**kogayne:** i never run into rolo between classes but i’ve seen him twice now, and we’ve only changed classes twice

**kogayne:** he made eye contact with me and i don’t like the look he gave me

**lanceylance:** that would explain why paul looks so relaxed today

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is sus

**hunkerdunker:** we’ll keep an eye on things

**takashmeoutside:** keith, whatever you do, do not get into a fight

**kogayne:** …

**takashmeoutside:** /do not get into a fight/

**kogayne:** fine

 

**_STOP CAPTAIN DOOFUS 2K17_ **

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMM WHY DOES SOMEONE ALWAYS COME ALONG AND RUIN OUR DAY

**carrierpidgeon:** can /i/ get into a fight

**hunkerdunker:** absolutely not

**carrierpidgeon:** i have a penchant for evading the administration

**shayfromstatefarm:** /absolutely not/

**lanceylance:** i’m wondering if i should get more people on board to watch his back

**lanceylance:** especially given yesterday

**carrierpidgeon:** ...you’re not talking about lotion and co are you

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** ...i mean, i might consider ezor and the girls but not legolas wannabe

**lanceylance:** but no i was thinking people we’re actually friends with, like plax and flor

**shayfromstatefarm:** not unless we get desperate

**shayfromstatefarm:** this whole thing is just a hunch we have, maybe we’re all just like, extra-cautious today

**lanceylance:** i hope

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** good morning everyone tomorrow is off-book for all the staging we’ve done so far

**dinezor:** oh shit

**floronawiththecorona:** ^

**hunkerdunker:** ^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

**lanceylance:** ^^^^

**madplax:** okay we get it no one is prepared for rehearsal

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**madplax:** ah, the lance scream, i was wondering when that would make its appearance

**hunkerdunker:** it was only a matter of time tbh

**lanceylance:** ^

**lanceylance:** are we doing tshirts

**lanceylance:** who’s in charge of tshirts

**lanceylance:** and senior jackets

**madplax:** mcclain where have you been

**lanceylance:** dying

**floronawiththecorona:** fair enough

**acxalutelynot:** i’m in charge of jackets

**acxalutelynot:** i haven’t taken any orders yet bc i need pricing

**floronawiththecorona:** ^^ same with tshirts

**floronawiththecorona:** i turned in the design today, we should get a price by the end of the week

**lanceylance:** bet

**lanceylance:** any idea if we’re finishing staging today

**madplax:** we are not, we’re wrapping tomorrow, i think today we’re getting near page 60

**dinezor:** we’re almost there

**zethridofmyproblems:** home stretch!

**shayfromstatefarm:** so close, yet so far

**hunkerdunker:** maybe i’ll make brownies and bring them to rehearsal tomorrow in celebration

**lanceylance:** AN ANGEL AMONG MEN

**hunkerdunker:** so i’ve been told

**carrierpidgeon:** meanwhile, crew:

**carrierpidgeon:** we’ve apparently got more shit in the dungeon to clear out

**zethridofmyproblems:** seriously?

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah apparently one of the teachers needed shit, i think it was woodshop or something, and they rifled through and made a mess

**acxalutelynot:** what a quality school we have here

**carrierpidgeon:** tell me about it

**carrierpidgeon:** at least you escape after this year

**lanceylance:** SENIOR SQUAAAAAAAAAD

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**takashmeoutside:** how’s keith

**carrierpidgeon:** watching paul intensely from across the cafeteria

**shayfromstatefarm:** hasn’t gotten in a fight yet though

**hunkerdunker:** keyword yet

**allurable:** of course

**takashmeoutside:** nothing’s happened so far today then

**lanceylance:** rolo and nyma aren’t in this lunch wave

**carrierpidgeon:** they have fourth wave, sucks to SUCK

**mattata:** well,

**carrierpidgeon:** APHOBIA

**mattata:** BIPHOBIA

**lanceylance:** anyway these meatballs have the consistency of rubber

**hunkerdunker:** is it just me or do they taste like they have bits of OLIVE in them

**carrierpidgeon:** i am an italian and i’m fucking OFFENDED how dare they serve us these pathetic excuses for meatballs

**mattata:** YIKES is it pasta today

**carrierpidgeon:** no, meatball sub, which explains a LOT

**allurable:** a disgrace

**carrierpidgeon:** YES EXACTLY

**carrierpidgeon:** and then lance tried to tell me that buttered noodles were mac n cheese

**lanceylance:** I SWEAR ONE OF THE LUNCH LADIES TOLD ME THAT’S WHAT THEY WERE

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE THAT THAT’S BUTTER, NOT CHEESE

**lanceylance:** I KNOW THAT BUT THE LUNCH LADIES DON’T

**carrierpidgeon:** HOLD ON WE’RE GOING BACK TO THE MAIN CHAT

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE THOUGHT BUTTERED NOODLES WERE MAC N CHEESE

**lanceylance:** EHJTREWSGNHGFD NO I DIDN’T

**lanceylance:** THE LUNCH LADIES DID THEY CONFUSED THE FUCK OUT OF ME

**carrierpidgeon:** LIE TO YOURSELF ALL YOU WANT

**hunkerdunker:** lance is a disgrace to foodies everywhere

**lanceylance:** H U N K

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay but think about this: the lunch ladies have been serving that to kids all lunch wave, don’t you think one of them should’ve realized

**shayfromstatefarm:** “hey, janice, i don’t think this is mac n cheese”

**shayfromstatefarm:** “what do you mean cheryl”

**shayfromstatefarm:** “this is clearly butter”

**shayfromstatefarm:** “nonsense this is cheese”

**shayfromstatefarm:** “janice i swear to you”

**kogayne:** gross butter, from the looks of it

**lanceylance:** keith was the smartest of us and got pizza for lunch

**carrierpidgeon:** and he’s being extra with his utensils again

**kogayne:** i have to let everyone know i am ARMED AND DANGEROUS

**lanceylance:** chill out edgelord

**kogayne:** i refuse

**takashmeoutside:** at least the knife is plastic and not real

**kogayne:** ...YEP

**takashmeoutside:** oh come on what the fuck keith

**mattata:** doesn’t keith have a pocket knife he keeps on him like 24/7

**takashmeoutside:** fUCK

**kogayne:** you KNOW THIS

**takashmeoutside:** YEAH AND /BECAUSE/ I KNOW IT SOMETIMES I FORGET ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S JUST A /THING/

**kogayne:** anyway

**takashmeoutside:** Teenagers, pls make sure my cousin doesn’t shank someone

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮

**lanceylance:** >:O

**takashmeoutside:** >:O

**carrierpidgeon:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA

**hunkerdunker:** pidge it wasn’t that funny

**carrierpidgeon:** laughing like that afterward makes it funnier

**takashmeoutside:** i resent that

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** just a warning: i saw rolo hanging out outside the school building, suspiciously close to the entrance to the dungeon

**kogayne:** fun.

**lanceylance:** what the FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** he wasn’t slick either

**carrierpidgeon:** as soon as he saw me coming he pretended to be on the phone with someone, asking for a ride as if he doesn’t drive himself to school every day and his car isn’t sitting in the parking lot

**carrierpidgeon:** so, you know, just a warning

**kogayne:** and you all call me out for having a pocket knife

**hunkerdunker:** well we just told you not to shank anyone with it

**hunkerdunker:** but, you know, if it happens to be in self-defense…

**lanceylance:** if he ends up needing to shank someone in self-defense i will commit murder

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** and i can help hide the body

**hunkerdunker:** sweeney todd

**lanceylance:** AW YEAH HUNK IS ON BOARD

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** keith, we can keep you inside doing other stuff if need be, bc honestly,,,

**kogayne:** the quicker we move stuff into the dungeon the quicker it’s done with and the quicker /nobody/ has to deal with him

**lanceylance:** ur mental health comes first

**kogayne:** i get the concern, but if it comes down to it, i can take him in a fight

**hunkerdunker:** hopefully it doesn’t come down to that

**lanceylance:** mmmm i’m not comfy with this

**lanceylance:** i’m not on for a bit where are you @ keith

**kogayne:** wood closet

**lanceylance:** can we talk, like face to face

**kogayne:** yeah

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

**zethridofmyproblems:** rolo

**floronawiththecorona:** DIDN’T HE GET KICKED OUT OF CREW WHEN NYMA GOT KICKED OUT OF THE SHOW

**zethridofmyproblems:** yes

**lanceylance:** WHAT HAPPENED

**carrierpidgeon:** lance you’re needed like ASAP

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**madplax:** SO WAIT WHAT HAPPENED

**acxalutelynot:** someone go get an administrator

**madplax:** OKAY I’M GONNA NEED TO EXPLAIN THINGS THOUGH

**acxalutelynot:** morvok’s kid and rolo and a bunch of their friends tried to jump keith

**acxalutelynot:** listen the situation is really sensitive right now can we get an administrator

**hunkerdunker:** is keith HURT

**acxalutelynot:** not physically

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh no

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** can anyone come get keith like right now

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT’S GOING ON

**shayfromstatefarm:** rolo paul and a bunch of guys tried to jump keith

**shayfromstatefarm:** administration is just getting there

**carrierpidgeon:** ekith si losign his shity

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m coming hold on

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** okay, wow, so rehearsal,

**dinezor:** are we still going or are we just gonna call it quits for the day

**madplax:** we have to keep going, we need to get this thing staged, we open next thursday

**acxalutelynot:** crew is taking care of what we can

**zethridofmyproblems:** how long until lance’s next scene

**floronawiththecorona:** not for a little while, why

**zethridofmyproblems:** he won’t leave pidge or keith until keith’s cousin gets here

**madplax:** that’s fine but send hunk and shay back out here, they’re needed in like, two pages

**zethridofmyproblems:** will do

 

**_concerned older brother™_ **

**takashmeoutside:** okay, so it took an hour, but i got keith’s version of things

**mattata:** ^ pidge told me hers as soon as she calmed down

**takashmeoutside:** he said he was warned about rolo waiting around on the side of the building near the dungeon

**mattata:** ^

**takashmeoutside:** and he thought, since it was just rolo, he could handle going out and moving things

**mattata:** ^

**takashmeoutside:** he didn’t know that there was a whole group of them, or else he wouldn’t have gone out

**mattata:** ^ pidge mentioned the rest of the Teens tried to get him to stay inside and do other set stuff

**hunkerdunker:** yep

**takashmeoutside:** and then he said rolo came up to him first, as sort of a distraction, and when keith tried to walk away, the other guys came in

**mattata:** that was right about when pidge got back outside and saw things happening

**takashmeoutside:** and i’m guessing you guys can tell where both of their minds went

**mattata:** this time, keith was the one who took it a lot harder

**mattata:** pidge is livid

**mattata:** but she also cried for a solid ten minutes so i mean

**takashmeoutside:** keith’s still pretty fragile right now, i would hold off on trying to contact him

 

**_CRYPTKID DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** so murder

**shayfromstatefarm:** got my shovel all ready

**hunkerdunker:** i’m so angry

**hunkerdunker:** how dare they??? what the fuck??????

**lanceylance:** a while back rolo was plotting some kind of revenge or something for something or other, that day nyma and rolo were trying shit with me??

**lanceylance:** they still had it out for keith, and

**lanceylance:** i fUCKIGN LET MY GUARD DOWN DAMMIT

**hunkerdunker:** we all did

**shayfromstatefarm:** they were waiting for when things were finally calm, or there was a situation they could exploit

**shayfromstatefarm:** they must’ve noticed something changed w keith’s attitude this past week

**lanceylance:** i am actually going to kill a person

**lanceylance:** i am ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL A PERSON

**hunkerdunker:** zarkon’s still in the office watch him do nothing

**shayfromstatefarm:** if he does nothing then it’s the final nail in the coffin, the district will have no choice but to shoehorn someone in

**lanceylance:** there have been like 17 final nails in the coffin if the district doesn’t replace him after this we need to replace the entire district

**lanceylance:** this has gone on long enough it’s almost fucking december

**lanceylance:** i am SICK AND TIRED of people coming after us for NO REASON other than we’re having the time of our lives and they’re MISERABLE like we all have our own battles to fight STOP ADDING MORE

**hunkerdunker:** amen

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** 8

**lanceylance:** whatever you need, i’m here

**kogayne:** i don’t know if i’m going in tomorrow

**kogayne:** ...it was bad

**kogayne:** i couldn’t /breathe/

**lanceylance:** shh shh i know, you’re okay now

**kogayne:** do you remember what he said about you that one day

**lanceylance:** ...yeah

**kogayne:** it was  w o r s e

**lanceylance:** whatever he said, he was wrong. 

**kogayne:** he sounded just like the guys in the woods, that’s what seto me oiff

**kogayne:** i wasd so  scasded

**lanceylance:** you’re okay, you’re safe now

**lanceylance:** do you want me to come over?

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** i’m leaving right now, do you wanna facetime until i get there?

_ Facetime with  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ and  _ **_lanceylance:_ ** _ 00:09:43.2 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stress has put me in a weird frame of mind hence the weird jumpy chapter
> 
> i got home from rehearsal and took a four hour nap and got back out of bed at like, 8:30, and now it's 1:15 AM and i need to shower and do my homework, so uh,,,,, bye


	61. the show gets staged ft. good friendships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the show is staged; shalluratt recounts a tale of assholes from their hs days; the squad cares about each other, ft. soft klance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I HAVE SO MANY THINGS DUE FRIDAY" i weep as my short attention span keeps bringing me back to this fanfic (i have the attention span of a walnut, i was not like this 3 years ago, what the fuck happened)
> 
> ALSO in the last chapter when keith said rolo sounded like the guys in the woods, it wasn't his voice, it was what he said that sounded similar to what the guys in the woods said :P
> 
> okay carry on

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** figured i’d let you know so you don’t go blowing up keith’s phone

**takashmeoutside:** he’s not going in

**lanceylance:** i’m relieved but also kind of surprised

**takashmeoutside:** he woke up and went to go get cereal, and about halfway through filling the bowl he just set it down, went back upstairs, and went back to bed

**lanceylance:** :(

**takashmeoutside:** i was supposed to go in for a shift today but matt’s finding someone to cover me

**takashmeoutside:** i didn’t want to leave him alone

**lanceylance:** thanks for letting me know

**lanceylance:** tell him to text me when he’s up to it?

**takashmeoutside:** you got it

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay, i know everyone loves thace, i do too

**shayfromstatefarm:** but  w h a t  the FUCK is this project

**carrierpidgeon:** yikes you know something is wrong when shay is stressed out and saying fuck

**shayfromstatefarm:** HE’S MAKING IT DUE FRIDAY WE HAVE SO MUCH DUE FRIDAY THACE WYD

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE OVERLOOKING THE REASON PAUL’S NOT IN CLASS

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s not in class?

**hunkerdunker:** i thought things were a lot quieter and more relaxed around here

**lanceylance:** Y’ALL, PAUL MORVOK IS OFFICIALLY EXPELLED, WE’RE FREE

**lanceylance:** okay, not totally free, rolo’s got OSS but they’re investigating the situation and there’s a chance he could get expelled too, karma is COMING FOR HIS ASS

**allurable:** congrats!! 

**mattata:** NICE

**hunkerdunker:** WHY DIDN’T I KNOW THIS

**lanceylance:** thace pulled me aside, i usually get here pretty early

**shayfromstatefarm:** what about nyma

**lanceylance:** she’s supposedly not involved so she’s off the hook for now but they’re keeping an eye on her

**shayfromstatefarm:** good to know

**takashmeoutside:** wait i wanna know the details on paul’s expulsion

**lanceylance:** well thace didn’t tell me /everything/…

**lanceylance:** and by that i mean he did but i have to keep it on the dl, yknow

**mattata:** we’re on the edge of our seats here mcclain

**lanceylance:** okay okay so after everything that went down yesterday the administrators got paul, rolo, and all of the guys involved in the office

**lanceylance:** and everyone remembers that paul and co have like, a history of trying to make our lives hell, like remember they’ve gotten into several fights w keith before so obvi there’s a recurring problem

**lanceylance:** and remember, paul’s dad got fired for being a dick, too

**lanceylance:** so they know paul and a few of his real close friends have been targeting keith

**lanceylance:** so they like, called his parents and did a mini investigation and went back through his files and basically he got expelled like right then, along with one or two other guys, i think

**lanceylance:** and then they remembered rolo being involved in shit with us a little while ago and gave him oss and they’re debating whether or not to give him another chance

**lanceylance:** they probably will tho bc he has a cleaner record

**lanceylance:** and then nyma supposedly had no role “whatsoever” in planning what happened yesterday so she got let off the hook

**lanceylance:** and like, they had this whole story prepared, but five or six crew kids were like “asshole that’s not what happened” and gave what really went down

**lanceylance:** SO

**lanceylance:** yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** NICE

**shayfromstatefarm:** this makes me feel a lot less stressed actually

**lanceylance:** except now his cronies who didn’t get expelled plus nyma plus rolo whenever his ugly face is let back into the school are probably gonna target us for revenge eventually ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** i mean if they were smart they’d back off

**takashmeoutside:** chances are revenge won’t happen

**takashmeoutside:** at least, not paul’s little group

**takashmeoutside:** if paul was the ringleader then his lackeys are all without someone to boss them around, they’ll either mellow out or dissolve the group, probably

**allurable:** ^^^ sophomore year man

**carrierpidgeon:** i feel like you guys have a lot of high school stories you haven’t shared with us

**allurable:** oh we do, we save them for times when our Children need Guidance

**hunkerdunker:** randomly capitalizing words in your sentence doesn’t make you Relatable

**allurable:** You Just Did It Too

**carrierpidgeon:** wait so do we get these stories or not, what’s with sophomore year

**takashmeoutside:** matt and i were juniors, allura was that sophomore that hung out with the juniors aka us 

**mattata:** modern golden trio, mind you

**mattata:** there was a group of kids that year that dubbed themselves the Fresh Kids on the Corner

**lanceylance:** oh my god

**allurable:** they thought they were hot shit   
****

**allurable:** they had no musical inclinations or associations tho

**takashmeoutside:** they took the name bc it got them attention

**mattata:** their leader was a massive dickbag named Seth

**allurable:** seth was sort of a legend

**allurable:** he, too, was a junior

**takashmeoutside:** according to the seniors that year, seth had been the kind of freshman who thought he was THE KING OF THE SCHOOL the moment he set foot in the building, constantly getting told off by teachers bc he wouldn’t shut up, on the football team, always with a group of guys, that sort of thing

**lanceylance:** i can picture like 5 different freshmen from this year i hate people like that

**takashmeoutside:** now, imagine: instead of maturing, he just gets worse

**takashmeoutside:** the senior and junior band kids and theatre kids, along with a select few sophomores,

**hunkerdunker:** oh jeez

**lanceylance:** ah, i see where this is going

**takashmeoutside:** decide that /enough is enough/, bc he had this thing where he’d show up to shows or concerts or competitions and just

**takashmeoutside:** steal all the attention by being an enormous shithead

**mattata:** those who made the mistake of confronting him directly would leave with their souls crushed

**allurable:** he was mean as fuck

**allurable:** and his lackeys were all mindless followers who thought he was funny, thought he was invincible, the whole nine yards

**shayfromstatefarm:** some things never change apparently

**takashmeoutside:** what happened next landed every senior in band or the drama club in detention and got five kids suspended, and very nearly expelled one student

**mattata:** together, the band and drama club came together and compiled a list of the greatest roasts and disses the school has ever heard, a public callout for seth

**mattata:** they then /hijacked the fucking intercom/ one day and exposed him to the whole school

**allurable:** seth lost his shit and transferred schools

**allurable:** this was the week before midterms

**allurable:** i don’t think he’s ever really excelled anywhere since then

**mattata:** he deserved it

**takashmeoutside:** as expected, seth’s little crew disbanded and all turned their lives around for the better by senior year

**lanceylance:** ...so the plastics after regina got hit by a bus

**allurable:** basically

**lanceylance:** WHY DOES NO ONE AT THIS SCHOOL TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS, SO MUCH INTERESTING STUFF HAPPENED NOT EVEN 10 YEARS AGO

**allurable:** they’ll probably accidentally give the students the courage to rebel and act like little shitheads if they tell this sort of stuff

**carrierpidgeon:** they already do that without these stories

**hunkerdunker:** the stories’ll just fuel their creative juices and make for even worse rebellions

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** WHO’S READY TO FINISH STAGING THE SHOW TODAY

**madplax:** ONLY THREE MORE PERIODS TO GET THROUGH

**lanceylance:** three periods too long

**floronawiththecorona:** I’VE GOT THE TSHIRT PRICING THEY’RE $12 THIS YEAR COUGH UP THE CASH LOSERS

**floronawiththecorona:** COME SEE ME AT REHEARSALS TODAY TOMORROW AND THURSDAY FOR ORDERS YOU MUST HAVE THE CASH READY

**carrierpidgeon:** NICE WHAT’S THE DESIGN

_ (1) photo from  _ **_floronawiththecorona_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** !!!!!!!!!!

**hunkerdunker:** THAT’S FANTASTIC

**lotoreal:** why are we all typing in caps lock?

**dinezor:** BECAUSE WE CAN

**lotoreal:** ...mmhmm…

**dinezor:** SPOIL-SPORT

**madplax:** FUDDY-DUDDY

**lanceylance:** what the fucky-ducky

**madplax:** LANCE THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS CHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** hnnnggg

**madplax:** i was talking about,,,, nvm

**lanceylance:** IS IT

**madplax:** ...MAYBE

**lotoreal:** why do i have the sneaking feeling you two are making a joke at my expense

**madplax:** NO REASON

**lanceylance:** NONE WHATSOEVER

**lotoreal:** ...mmhmm………

 

**_madplax > lanceylance_ **

**madplax:** hey i didn’t wanna like, be obnoxious and ask in the group chat, but how’s keith? i haven’t seen him all day, and after yesterday,,,

**lanceylance:** he’s home

**lanceylance:** i haven’t heard from him so he’s probably still sleeping, but i also haven’t heard from his cousin so i guess he’s okay rn?

**madplax:** good to know

**madplax:** if you don’t mind me asking...what was up with that?

**lanceylance:** hhhh i don’t wanna say a lot without asking keith first but we’ve got a rough past with rolo and paul being assholes, and keith has other issues that weren’t helping the situation

**madplax:** i see

**madplax:** well, tell him i hope he feels better soon!!

**lanceylance:** will do

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** tell me why i just woke up to 104 messages

**lanceylance:** bc you’re in two group chats that never sleep

**lanceylance:** how you feelin

**kogayne:** like i should’ve just sucked it up and gone to school today

**kogayne:** i’ve been scrolling through the chats trying to catch up

**kogayne:** now i feel like an idiot

**lanceylance:** /what the fuck/

**lanceylance:** you’re! not! an! idiot! for! taking! care! of! yourself!

**lanceylance:** don’t talk like that :(

**kogayne:** ugh i just

**kogayne:** i feel like i let my emotions get the better of me

**kogayne:** depression, anxiety, and ptsd 1923932, keith 0

**lanceylance:** shhh wrong every time you fight back you win those numbers should be flipped

**lanceylance:** taking care of yourself and taking time to recover is fighting back you win

**kogayne:** hhh

**lanceylance:** if i could come over and hug you right now i would but physics is kind of getting in the way of that

**lanceylance:** don’t worry i’m taking good notes for once although u still should probably copy hunk’s

**kogayne:** thanks

**lanceylance:** also what size tshirt do u need

**lanceylance:** medium, right?

**lanceylance:** i can spot u cash u can pay back whenever doesn’t really matter

**kogayne:** actually, i think i’m gonna come back for rehearsal

**lanceylance:** what in the what now

**kogayne:** sneak me in through the side door

**lanceylance:** the point of you staying home was to rest and recover

**kogayne:** i’m so BORED here and no offense to shiro but he is suffocating me

**kogayne:** does he know i’m not 5

**lanceylance:** he’s trying to help

**kogayne:** yeah i know but regardless i’m coming for rehearsal

**kogayne:** it’s also your very last time staging a fall show ever and i wanna be there

**lanceylance:** u don’t have to, it’s not a huge deal

**kogayne:** y e s  i t  i s

**kogayne:** plus i looked at the script, you pick up right with a fight scene

**lanceylance:** ...oh yeah i forgot about that, lotor and i try and kill each other

**kogayne:** don’t deprive me of watching this go down

**lanceylance:** we’ll have to run it multiple times before the show

**kogayne:** yeah but staging means you repeat the sections over and over again

**lanceylance:** boi

**kogayne:** anyway i’m coming to rehearsal dya want coffee or not

**lanceylance:** s t a y  h o m e

**kogayne:** n o

**lanceylance:** ...i wanna try that brown sugar whatever thing, the new one

**kogayne:** gotcha

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** correct me if i’m wrong, but wasn’t kogane absent today?

**acxalutelynot:** yeah, he wasn’t here

**lotoreal:** did mcclain just...sneak him into rehearsal?

**sippinganartini:** what’s happening

**dinezor:** keith stayed home today because of some bullshit that happened yesterday during rehearsal and he just made his grand entrance

**dinezor:** that is, lance let him in through the side door and did the cheesiest “pick up the love of your life and spin them around” thing ever

**zethridofmyproblems:** how did they not spill the coffee is my question

**dinezor:** the power of true love

**zethridofmyproblems:** okay, no, physics doesn’t give a shit about true love,

**dinezor:** aw, pidge hunk and shay went to say hi to him, this is honestly the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, it’s like watching a little family :)

**lotoreal:** so, like us.

**acxalutelynot:** minus the dysfunctional

**lotoreal:** i wouldn’t necessarily call us dysfunctional

**dinezor:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** pssst mothman

**kogayne:** pssst nessie denier

**carrierpidgeon:** :P

**carrierpidgeon:** glad to see you and all but also wHY THE FUCK DID YOU SHOW UP

**kogayne:** our last day of staging for a fall show ever, i wanted to see them play out the lance vs lotor vs plax vs ezor scene, and also i got bored at home

**carrierpidgeon:** ah yes, shiro still proving matt is the superior babysitter

**kogayne:** did you just imply he was babysitting me

**kogayne:** ...shit he was essentially bABYSITTING ME

**carrierpidgeon:** how did you get by him

**kogayne:** i ran out the door before he could catch me

**kogayne:** there are now skid marks from my tires in the driveway

**carrierpidgeon:** a known legend

**carrierpidgeon:** so now tell me the real reason why you’re here

**kogayne:** ???? i did

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re not just here bc hunk made brownies?

**kogayne:** i forgot about that tbh

**carrierpidgeon:** you forgot that HUNK, chef extraordinaire, made BROWNIES

**kogayne:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** disgraceful

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** how were you today

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m pretty good

**kogayne:** where even are you

**carrierpidgeon:** look up

**kogayne:** ...is that your hand

**carrierpidgeon:** huehuehuehue

**kogayne:** why are you on the catwalk

**carrierpidgeon:** people were being annoying and i felt like climbing up here so i did

**carrierpidgeon:** u can join me if u want

**carrierpidgeon:** i went thru the hatch in the left wing

**kogayne:** ...nah i’m good lance is almost off

**carrierpidgeon:** [whispers loudly] YOU’RE SO FUCKING WHIPPED

**kogayne:** rover is ur bf, lance is mine

**carrierpidgeon:** rover’s my child excuse you

**kogayne:** fine science is ur s/o lance is mine

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s more like it

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** BITCHES THIS SHOW IS STAGED

**lanceylance:** NICE WORK GUYS

**hunkerdunker:** we blew through like 40 pages in 4 hours holy shit

**floronawiththecorona:** hunk, thank you for the brownies, i love them and i want to marry them

**shayfromstatefarm:** i mean the obvious solution here would be to just marry hunk but sorry :)

**floronawiththecorona:** werhtewdfrtergrgf shay i love you

**hunkerdunker:** i love her too

**madplax:** shay and hunk are too good for all of us

**lanceylance:** angels among mere mortals

**madplax:** REMEMBER, IF YOU WANT A TSHIRT THEY’RE 12 DOLLARS TALK TO FLOR YOU HAVE TILL THURSDAY

**madplax:** TOMORROW WE BEGIN ACT I

**madplax:** IF YOU’RE OFF-BOOK FOR ACT I THAT WOULD BE APPRECIATED BUT IT’S NOT NECESSARY TILL SATURDAY

**dinezor:** can you believe the show opens in like 9 days

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**madplax:** BIG MOOD

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey

**lanceylance:** hey

**lanceylance:** u okay

**kogayne:** yeah i’m fine

**kogayne:** just wanted to tell you i love you

**lanceylance:** :) i love you too

**kogayne:** i mean it

**kogayne:** i’m bad at showing it but hot damn do i mean it

**kogayne:** my life would really suck without you

**kogayne:** you’re patient and kind but also a little shit and i love everything about you

**lanceylance:** ...you sure you’re okay

**kogayne:** yeah, i was just doing some thinking

**kogayne:** tomorrow, do you wanna help me do a thing in the group chat

**lanceylance:** yeah, sure, what is it

**kogayne:** i wanna do daily gratitudes

**lanceylance:** que

**kogayne:** i did some more emailing with my therapist while i was home today, and she suggested that if my depression is such a pervasive thing like it has been lately, that i start trying to find happy moments or things we’re grateful for each day

**kogayne:** she thinks it might help

**kogayne:** i wanna get the group chat involved

**lanceylance:** sure!!

**lanceylance:** i have a few right now

**kogayne:** shoot

**lanceylance:** you

**lanceylance:** and your beautiful eyes

**lanceylance:** and your soft hands

**lanceylance:** and how fiercely protective you are of your friends

**lanceylance:** and your voice

**lanceylance:** and your silky hair

**lanceylance:** and the way you look at the world and see the mystery in it and how you always find something new to explore

**lanceylance:** and how much love and wonder is in your heart, even when you don’t show it

**lanceylance:** and how much you love me

**lanceylance:** and how much i love you

**kogayne:** congratulations my screen protector has tear stains on it

**lanceylance:** i love you, starlight

**kogayne:** i love you too, starboy

**lanceylance:** get some sleep, okay? especially if you’re gonna go to school

**kogayne:** you got it

**lanceylance:** good night  <3

**kogayne:** night  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally spent my whole day at school daydreaming about klance, and then i took a nap after rehearsal and dreamed about protective klance, tHIS SHIP HAS LITERALLY TAKEN OVER MY LIFE (also i have some klance doodles on ig, they suck but lmao whatever. ig is nerdyspaceace)


	62. grateful hoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it is wednesday; drama rehearsals continue; the team begins daily gratitudes; other stuff (klance is still soft)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YA GIRL APPLIED TO COLLEGE OFFICIALLY   
> i applied to my top choice, a school that's not second choice but not a safety, and one of my safeties
> 
> anyway this didn't go up on time bc i've been taking four hour naps each day after rehearsal but then i've had homework to do so uhhh yeah it's late

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** buenos días, luz de las estrellas  <3

**kogayne:** good morning starboy

**lanceylance:** how you feeeeeeeeeeelinnnnnnn

**kogayne:** pretty good

**kogayne:** a lot better compared to the last few days 

**lanceylance:** that’s good to hear :)

**lanceylance:** you goin in today?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** i missed you yesterday

**kogayne:** yknow, till i went to rehearsal

**lanceylance:** i missed u too, mornings aren’t the same when i can’t see ur cute face

**kogayne:** skskdjdjfjdoalakdcmaoowf

**lanceylance:** im picking you up this morning

**lanceylance:** same dunks order as last time?

**kogayne:** we’re doing mobile this time?

**lanceylance:** no wait → i spend more time with u

**kogayne:** solid logic

**kogayne:** more time with me → more time i get to spend holding ur hand 

**lanceylance:** did u know ur my favorite person

**lanceylance:** with the softest hands

**lanceylance:** and the warmest smile

**lanceylance:** even when ur holding a knife and threatening to shank someone when ur half asleep

**kogayne:** DISKDJDJDKDNEELALALSKCOAPWOV YOU CAN’T DO TJIS TO ME THIS EARLY

**lanceylance:** can and did, mulletman

**lanceylance:** im leaving in 10, i’ll see you soon

**kogayne:** i’ll be anxiously awaiting your every moment, prince lanceylance

**lanceylance:** ohohoho we’re roleplaying? ;)

**kogayne:** fuck,

**lanceylance:** ;)))) so is this like a prince and commoner scenario, or a “princes from rival kingdoms fall in love” scenario, or like, “we’re in an arranged marriage and slowly fall in love” orrrrrrrrrr

**kogayne:** bOI JUST GO GET READY

**lanceylance:** we’re picking this up later!!

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** hey guys, so i have a thing i wanted to talk about

**mattata:** everything good?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** so, yesterday i was emailing my therapist aka pidge’s therapist aka our therapist

**allurable:** mm?

**kogayne:** my depression got...pretty bad the other day, and so i told her about it, and she suggested something i think the whole group chat could benefit from

**kogayne:** she suggested doing daily gratitudes, yknow, talk about what we’re grateful for each day and stuff like that

**kogayne:** so i thought like, if the group chat did it at the end of the day, everyone goes around and shares one good thing that happened, or that made us happy,,,, 

**kogayne:** everyone ends the day in a good mindset, ya know

**lanceylance:** i’m 100% on board

**allurable:** me too!!

**mattata:** count me in

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is actually such a good idea??

**hunkerdunker:** ^^ i like it, i’m in

**carrierpidgeon:** oh HELL YEAH POSITIVITY

**takashmeoutside:** let’s do it

**kogayne:** glad you guys are all for it

**mattata:** of course we’re in, man

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** y’all it’s first period and antok’s class is giving me anxiety

**kogayne:** ^^^

**takashmeoutside:** why

**kogayne:** we’re doing social psych and we’re learning about relationships and he’s talking about how hs/college relationships typically don’t work out and you’re probably ridiculous for thinking that you’re gonna marry whoever you’re dating right now and every

**kogayne:** single

**kogayne:** person

**kogayne:** in the room

**kogayne:** turned to look at lance and me

**hunkerdunker:** oh, fun,

**shayfromstatefarm:** can’t wait for 7th period

**mattata:** antok said the same thing when shiro and i were sitting in that class and look at us now

**mattata:** 7 years of pining later

**lanceylance:** i mean, he did say he personally thinks hs relationships that make it to marriage will probably last longer than college relationships that make it to marriage but,,,, he’s still skeptical

**lanceylance:** hhhhhhhnnnn

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s it first he skipped out on doing the cognitive functions and now he’s giving my friends anxiety antok is cancelled

**mattata:** didn’t we literally have this discussion back in like, september

**carrierpidgeon:** VIEWS CAN CHANGE WE’VE MOVED PAST THIS HUSH YOUR MOUTH MATTHEW

**allurable:** gonna play devil’s advocate here real quick

**allurable:** antok does have an obligation to teach you and teach you fact and the fact of the matter is that yes, most hs/college relationships don’t work out

**allurable:** he’s not supposed to lie to spare your feelings, BUT

**allurable:** there are plenty of cases that contradict this, so take solace in that

**allurable:** there’s a reason that “high school sweethearts” is a term

**lanceylance:** thanks allura

**kogayne:** ^

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmm

**carrierpidgeon:** when u guys have ur high school reunion in like 20 years i hope antok is still teaching so u can show up and fling this lesson back in his face 

**allurable:** girl what did i just say

**carrierpidgeon:** i still think it’ll be funny

**kogayne:** i think it’ll be funny

**lanceylance:** ^^^^^^^

**mattata:** it’ll totally be funny

**takashmeoutside:** once these kids graduate it’ll be 12 years till our reunion

**allurable:** and 13 till mine

**mattata:** can’t wait to give these teachers a heart attack

**allurable:** a good number of them were probably betting on who would end up with who beyond college, if we were to stay together

**takashmeoutside:** will there be /any/ winners

**allurable:** that’s a good question

**mattata:** thace probably

**takashmeoutside:** ythink thace thought we’d all end up in one big relationship?

**allurable:** i didn’t even think thace would bet

**hunkerdunker:** i mean we can ask 3rd period

**takashmeoutside:** ,,,,,,

**allurable:** ...have keith ask fourth

**mattata:** RTYHJTHREWRTHREG YES

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** according to thace,

**takashmeoutside:** i’m suddenly afraid and having regrets

**kogayne:** there are /no/ winners

**allurable:** FDHJYTRESDFHTYTJDS

**mattata:** BUT DID HE BET IS THE QUESTION

**kogayne:** he claims he stayed out of it /officially, but/

**kogayne:** ...he would’ve put money on shatt

**kogayne:** also lance he’s hoping we don’t let him down

**lanceylance:** HJRTJTYJYUKRKETJ HAVE HIM TELL THAT TO ANTOK, I’M PRETTY SURE ANTOK IS /WAITING/ FOR US TO LET HIM DOWN

**allurable:** tell thace i’m coming to ur school tomorrow just to have words with him

**kogayne:** i’m not going to threaten my english teacher with the wrath of allura altea, i want to keep my good grade in this class

**allurable:** i don’t claim you

**allurable:** i always knew lance was my favorite

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**lanceylance:** BUT

**allurable:** what

**mattata:** wait for it

**lanceylance:** (wait for it wait for it wait)

**allurable:** GOD HELP ME AND FORGIVE ME, I WANNA BUILD SOMETHING THAT’S GONNA OUTLIVE ME

**lanceylance:** WHAT DO YOU WANT BURR

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT DO YOU WANT BURR

**mattata:** IF YOU STAND FOR NOTHING BURR, THEN WHAT DO YOU FALL FOR

**lanceylance:** okay but a dot ham aside, my but was focused on the fact that sorry allura, keith is my fave :)

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■)_╭∩╮

**carrierpigeon:** keith using jemoticons is my aesthetic

**carrierpidgeon:** specifically, the sunglasses middle finger guy is my aesthetic

**kogayne:** (⌐■ヮ■)

**mattata:** keith is mashing them up and creating abominations that should not exist

**kogayne:** i do what i want

**kogayne:** fight the power

**shayfromstatefarm:** we expect nothing else

**hunkerdunker:** to quote thace:

**hunkerdunker:** “yep, that’s shirogane’s cousin alright”

**carrierpidgeon:** why does this make me think that shiro and matt were totally in that group of kids who got rid of the demon student known as seth

**mattata:** shiro was the ringleader among the juniors

**takashmeoutside:** MATT HSUH

**takashmeoutside:** CHILDREN, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS

**kogayne:** i’m gonna follow in ur footsteps

**carrierpidgeon:** u kind of already have

**kogayne:** even better

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh]

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** ddue i’m tfkrwiang out

**kogayne:** whoa what happened??

**lanceylance:** iappledid to thegarisosn 

**kogayne:** so why are you freaking out

**kogayne:** where even are you

**lanceylance:** ijust leftt guidancw

**lanceylance:** imworired aobut decisona

**kogayne:** decisions won’t be out for a little while

**kogayne:** take some deep breaths, okay?

**kogayne:** you’re gonna get in, i have complete and utter faith in you

**lanceylance:** dshggffafghdask

**lanceylance:** dido yu aplly

**kogayne:** i’m gonna tonight

**kogayne:** take it easy

**kogayne:** did you go back to class?

**lanceylance:** abtghroom

**kogayne:** okay, so lunch is in a few minutes

**kogayne:** u want me come meet u now, or can u make it to the cafeteria?

**lanceylance:** i’m oakdy

**lanceylance:** jsut nefvous

**kogayne:** you’re okay

**kogayne:** you’ll get accepted

**kogayne:** it’s out of your hands now, all you can do is keep doing whatever else you need to do

**kogayne:** like make it to rehearsal today

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** ah, there he is

**kogayne:** there’s the bell, i’ll see you soon

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** y’all

**allurable:** southern lance has made an appearance!

**lanceylance:** i

**mattata:** milked a cow?

**carrierpidgeon:** passed a calc test?

**hunkerdunker:** i know what he’s talking abouuuut :)

**kogayne:** ^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^

**lanceylance:** have applied to the garrison school at arus

**lanceylance:** ya boi is officially a college applicant, and i only panicked about it for ten minutes

**allurable:** CONGRATS LANCE

**takashmeoutside:** SCHOLAR

**lanceylance:** i skipped ryner’s class to go to guidance and apply bc fuck calc

**carrierpidgeon:** oh

**carrierpidgeon:** WAIT WHY DIDN’T I KNOW I’M SITTING AT THIS LUNCH TABLE WITH YOU AND YOU JUST DON’T SAY ANYTHING??

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** i’m a proud boyfriend look at him that’s my boyfriend right there

**lanceylance:** <3333

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** full runs start today, is everyone prepared

**hunkerdunker:** I FORGOT TO MAKE FOOD

**madplax:** i mean we’re aiming to be out by like, 5 the latest each night, till next week

**lanceylance:** HELL WEEK BEGINS IN LESS THAN ONE WEEK

**floronawiththecorona:** you make the small auditorium we share a hELL

**dinezor:** SO DO YOU

**hunkerdunker:** THAT’S WHY I’M IN HELL TOO

**lanceylance:** IT SUCKS TO BE ME

**madplax:** NO IT SUCKS TO BE ME

**kogayne:** IT SUCKS TO BE ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** IT SUCKS TO BE ME

**acxalutelynot:** IS THERE ANYBODY HERE IT DOESN’T SUCK TO BE

**zethridofmyproblems:** IT SUCKS TO BE ME

**lotoreal:** my theme song.

**dinezor:** LOTOR?

**acxalutelynot:** CRACKING A MUSICAL THEATRE JOKE?

**lotoreal:** i *am* in the drama club.

**dinezor:** and you’re a drama queen

**lotoreal:** then why don’t i have a crown, ezor?

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** y’all are seeing the drama chat right

**lanceylance:** SJSJDJSKAL WHAT THE HELL

**carrierpidgeon:** why are you both southern

**lanceylance:** cowboyfriends

**kogayne:** space ranger partners

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s space

**kogayne:** space cowboys

**lanceylance:** how cool would that be tho

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** lotor has a soul?

**hunkerdunker:** im just as surprised as u are tbh

**lanceylance:** nope nope nononononope he has no soul until he apologizes to knife boy

**carrierpidgeon:** he still didn’t apologize???

**kogayne:** nnnnnope

**lanceylance:** doing my bf so dirty

**hunkerdunker:** i really thought he would’ve apologized by now

**kogayne:** nope

**lanceylance:** and until he does he has no soul bc how can u be mean to keith, he’s precious

**carrierpidgeon:** Disgusted™ 

**kogayne:** only my friends can be mean to me, like pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

**kogayne:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

**lanceylance:** Y’ALL ARE STEALING THE BI TRADEMARK AGAIN

**kogayne:** will me proclaiming my love for you in the main group chat and completely ruining the cool reputation i’ve managed to maintain so far make you feel better

**carrierpidgeon:** you’ve just exposed yourself to all of us so it makes no difference now

**hunkerdunker:** besides, just like pidge, we all know you’re secretly soft

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s no secret

**shayfromstatefarm:** we also know you’re weak as hell for lance

**lanceylance:** we’ve discovered knife boy’s weakness: one sexy boy named lance charles mcclain

**carrierpidgeon:** what kind of middle name is /charles/

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**kogayne:** cute

**lanceylance:** did you just

**carrierpidgeon:** voluntarily

**kogayne:** ...i’ve been making it my personal mission to be more positive

**kogayne:** hence the gratitudes and stuff 

**lanceylance:** and i am here to support him whole-heartedly

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re with ya, dude

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey, babe,

**lanceylance:** yes mulletman

**kogayne:** where the FUCK ARE YOU

**lanceylance:** literally like 2 seconds away from being on

**kogayne:** ditch ur jacket backstage

**lanceylance:** why

**kogayne:** we have to go do set stuff

**kogayne:** outside

**kogayne:** where it’s like -20 degrees

**lanceylance:** okay it’s literally on the ground try not to get too much paint on it

**kogayne:** of course

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne _ **

**lanceylance:** i saw u put ur hair up and i almost forgot my line dickhead

**kogayne:** ;)

**lanceylance:** sToP bEiNg CuTe

**kogayne:** no

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** guys, i know it’s our first day doing full runs, and i love you dearly,

**floronawiththecorona:** FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY CAN YOU ASSHOLES PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CUES

**dinezor:** i’m sORRY

**dinezor:** I THOUGHT I HAD IT MEMORIZED

**lanceylance:** keith was being distracting sorry 

**kogayne:** TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS

**dinezor:** ^^^!!!!! acxa’s pretty distracting but you don’t see me missing cues bc of her! i only miss bc i overestimated how well i knew my part!!

**acxalutelynot:** don’t drag me into this,

**lanceylance:** KEITH WAS BEING DISTRACTING ON PURPOSE

**lotoreal:** ^ i watched it happen

**carrierpidgeon:** hey crew which one of you decided it was okay to kick over a paint can in the grass

**carrierpidgeon:** my sneakers would like a word with you

**hunkerdunker:** weren’t you wearing white converse today 

**carrierpidgeon:** THEYRE NOT WHITE ANYMORE

**lanceylance:** the future liberals want

**shayfromstatefarm:** djdlsksndeodfkdosw holy shit

**madplax:** L A N C E

**floronawiththecorona:** lance i love you

**lanceylance:** as most people do

**kogayne:** he’s mine tho so like,,, ur gonna have to fight me if u want his affections

**lanceylance:** (don’t attempt to fight him you’ll lose)

**kogayne:** id maybe yield for hunk but that’s about it

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** yknow if we both weren’t in relationships already

**lanceylance:** ;)

**hunkerdunker:** ;)

**shayfromstatefarm:** jeez hunk if u wanted lance that bad u should’ve let me know

**madplax:** yo what the fuck is going on

**lanceylance:** u already know what the fuck is going on

**zethridofmyproblems:** lmfao

**lotoreal:** ...what just happened?

**lanceylance:** hunk and i are getting married none of u losers are invited xoxo

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**dinezor:** keith how do u feel

**kogayne:** nobody competes with hunk

**zethridofmyproblems:** he’s got a point

**madplax:** drama club mvp solely for existing

**carrierpidgeon:** (but also for the food he’s bringing next week when we’re trapped here until ten at night)

**lanceylance:** the biannual 14 hours of hell per day

**acxalutelynot:** last year crew was here till almost 1 AM every night shut up 

**lanceylance:** I KNOW

**lanceylance:** MULLET WOULDN’T LET ME LEAVE

**carrierpidgeon:** ...WAIT YOU WERE HERE

**lanceylance:** for the musical? when crew was fixing the set at the last minute? yes indeed, he was my ride home or i was his

**lanceylance:** i slept in the car

**carrierpidgeon:** INSTEAD OF HELPING US

**lanceylance:** ...i’ve accidentally exposed myself gtg byeeee

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** now’s a good time to start gratitudes in the main chat, right?

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ sounds good to me!!

**lanceylance:** hey i wanna let u know i’m really proud of u

**lanceylance:** ur doing so well to help urself

**lanceylance:** i support you 100%

**kogayne:** :) i’m glad u have my back in all this

**lanceylance:** :)   
  


**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** hey guys, uh

**kogayne:** everyone feelin up to doing gratitudes?

**carrierpidgeon:** hECK YEAH

**takashmeoutside:** sure

**allurable:** !!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** let’s do it

**hunkerdunker:** yep

**lanceylance:** u already know my vote :P

**mattata:** hmmm i dunno

**kogayne:** stfu holt ur outnumbered

**mattata:** i was kidding anyway so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** so, uh,

**kogayne:** who wants to go first

**takashmeoutside:** go ahead, keith

**allurable:** ^^^^

**kogayne:** ah

**kogayne:** so, i’m really grateful that you all are on board with this, and uhhh i guess thanks lance for letting me wear ur jacket outside

**lanceylance:** ;)

**kogayne:** ok someone else go i’m done

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m grateful that we’re not doing sets at the absolute last minute this year, and also my mom is helping me get the pink out of my sneakers

**carrierpidgeon:** :P next

**mattata:** i’m grateful that shiro and i had coinciding shifts at target today and sendak was not on

**takashmeoutside:** dammit matt u took mine

**mattata:** suck it shiro

**takashmeoutside:** maybe later

**mattata:** ;))))

**takashmeoutside:** ANYWAY i’m grateful for keith taking a step in the right direction

**kogayne:** ertgewdbgesdfs shut up shiro

**takashmeoutside:** love ya cous

**kogayne:** southern shiro?

**allurable:** cursed™

**allurable:** i’m grateful that i didn’t have to do any work today, i got to SLEEP

**hunkerdunker:** must be nice

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful that i have all my lines and cues for the show memorized and it’s not even hell week

**shayfromstatefarm:** you go hunk

**lanceylance:** THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND

**hunkerdunker:** also i like my friends i guess

**shayfromstatefarm:** <3 ;) anyway i’m grateful that i know what’s going on in all my classes at the moment, and i worked ahead on my english project so i’m done

**lanceylance:** sHIT THAT’S DUE FRIDAY

**lanceylance:** ...o shit it me

**lanceylance:** i applied for the garrison today, goodbye stress, i’m so glad the stress of applying is gone and now all i have left is the stress of waiting on an acceptance

**kogayne:** you’ll get in

**kogayne:** anyway uh,,,,, that concludes today’s gratitudes

**kogayne:** uh

**kogayne:** [applause]

**lanceylance:** [applause]

**carrierpidgeon:** [applause]

**hunkerdunker:** [applause]

**shayfromstatefarm:** [applause]

**allurable:** [applause]

**takashmeoutside:** [applause]

**mattata:** I LIVE FOR THE APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE

**kogayne:** boi bye

**mattata:** u thought

**mattata:** i’ll be at ur house in 10

**kogayne:** lance i’m coming over

**lanceylance:** bet 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bye i'm gonna skip the thursday chapter and write the friday chapter while i watch gtlive play hidden agenda (any other theorists here???) (lmao i haven't watched a game theory video since like, september)


	63. sortings and other things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rehearsal, hogwarts house sortings, and other things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i was gonna finish this last night, right  
> it was about midnight, i was gonna lay down for about half an hour (i had alarms set to go off), get back up, stay up for another hour or two writing, and then call it quits. well, i fell asleep.  
> cue this morning, where i woke up at 4:50 in the morning in a blind panic because i thought it was a school morning, and i usually shower the night before. i run to the bathroom and have my shirt halfway off when i go "holy fuck, it's saturday, i can sleep for two more hours" and went back to bed
> 
> now i'm running on my second coffee of the day after being at rehearsal for six hours (which is where i finished this chapter)
> 
> saturday chapter is in the works as we speak :)

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **kogayne:** COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUU

 **mattata:** did i just witness keith willingly doing a text duet with lance first thing in the morning

 **allurable:** a (25 days of) christmas miracle

 **kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ christmas spirit, positivity, all that junk

 **lanceylance:** :D he’s a happy boi and it makes me happy

 **shayfromstatefarm:** [opens group chat] [sees christmas music] [closes group chat]

 **hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^ seriously

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m just thankful it’s december and not november this time

 **mattata:** hush gremlin too early for gratitudes

 **carrierpidgeon:** wtf it’s never too early to be grateful titan

 **takashmeoutside:** good m

 **takashmeoutside:** they’ve started with the christmas songs bye

 **kogayne:** wooooow shiro

 **takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lanceylance:** ANYWAY TODAY BEGINS 25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

 **lanceylance:** SOOOOOOOO

 **lanceylance:** GIDDY UP GIDDY UP GIDDY UP LET’S GO

 **takashmeoutside:** keith, he'll listen to u, make him stop, u haven’t even gone to school

 **kogayne:** LET’S LOOK AT THE SNOWWWWW

 **carrierpidgeon:** i can’t believe them

 **lanceylance:** instead of playing each other we’re playing the rest of u now

 **kogayne:** a good team

 **lanceylance:** the best team

 **kogayne:** (⌐■_■)

 **lanceylance:** (⌐■_■)

 **carrierpidgeon:** how do i get in on this secret sunglasses society

 **kogayne:** we’re not currently accepting new members but we’ll keep a copy of your resume on hand

 **carrierpidgeon:** :O

 **lanceylance:** sorry pidgeotto, looks like you’ve been

 **lanceylance:** (•_•) ( •_•) >⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

 **lanceylance:** denied

 **carrierpidgeon:** weren’t you already wearing sunglasses

 **lanceylance:** (⌐■_■)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

 **kogayne:** this is my boyfriend everyone, sometimes he doesn’t always pay attention but i like him more than most other humans

 **takashmeoutside:** it would help if you stopped referring to other people as “humans” with a “me vs them” tone

 **carrierpidgeon:** irrefutable proof keith is an alien

 **kogayne:**...shhhhh

 **carrierpidgeon:** whoa what

 **kogayne:** shhhhh you’re gonna blow my cover

 **hunkerdunker:** don’t worry it won’t leave the chat

 **carrierpidgeon:** YOU FOOL

 **carrierpidgeon:** THE GOVERNMENT MONITORS EVERYTHING

 **carrierpidgeon:** THE MEN IN BLACK WILL BE HERE ANY MOMENT

 **kogayne:** okay but all joking aside i’ve had literal nightmares about them

 **kogayne:** NOT LIKE, RECENTLY, BUT IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE

 **carrierpidgeon:** the aliens warning u via dream that you don’t have much longer before they come for u for trying to expose the government

 **kogayne:** IF THEY HAVEN’T COME YET FOR RYAN BERGARA THEN I’M SAFE

 **takashmeoutside:** why is this the conversation happening first thing in the fucking morning

 **kogayne:** always be prepared

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** get ur ass ready for school i’m leaving in 5

 **kogayne:** i’m already ready come now

 **lanceylance:** listen i can’t just do that on command

 **kogayne:** pls don’t say that

 **kogayne:** pfvpfvpfvpfv pls don’t

 **lanceylance:** sHIT SORRY I’M SORRY

 **kogayne:** it’s okay i just

 **kogayne:** i can’t, not lately

 **lanceylance:** [whispers as i reach out to hug u gently and pat ur head] don’t tell me it’s okay it’s not okay if i set u off just tell me when i’m saying something wrong so i can help u i love u so much don’t give me a pass just bc i’m ur boyf

 **kogayne:** wtrewfhgewfg you know what i mean

 **lanceylance:** i know but still

 **lanceylance:** anyway i’m leaving now

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re doing nothing in chem on this wonderful friday so i’m here to start personality discourse, as usual

 **allurable:** hit me with it

 **carrierpidgeon:** what’s everyone’s hogwarts house

 **lanceylance:** hello identity crisis old friend!!

 **kogayne:** slytherin

 **takashmeoutside:** no

 **lanceylance:** wrong

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith you are NOT a slytherin

 **allurable:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **hunkerdunker:** omfg

 **kogayne:** sjdkdldlsk then what house do u fuckers think i’m in

 **carrierpidgeon:** gryffindor

 **takashmeoutside:** gryffindor

 **lanceylance:** the gryffindoriest gryffindor i’ve ever met

 **shayfromstatefarm:** gryff no doubt

 **kogayne:** so then my hybrid house

 **lanceylance:** id place you in ravenclaw before i put u in slyth or puff

 **lanceylance:** ur a gryffinclaw, knife boy

 **kogayne:** and i take it u are too

 **allurable:** idk if lance is a slytherclaw or a slytherdor

 **allurable:** but one thing is for sure: the boy is a slytherin

 **carrierpidgeon:** slytherclaw? for LANCE?

 **hunkerdunker:** slytherclaw

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^ i don’t think he’d fit as well in gryffindor as a secondary

 **lanceylance:** im a slytherin but im no snake :P

 **mattata:** what about me

 **carrierpidgeon:** gryffinclaw with a ravenclaw primary

 **takashmeoutside:** huffleclaw with ravenclaw primary

 **kogayne:** i agree with shiro but then again apparently i was wrong about myself so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **allurable:** shiro’s right

 **hunkerdunker:** ^^^

 **hunkerdunker:** im a huffleclaw with a hufflepuff primary

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yes u are

 **lanceylance:** no doubt

 **kogayne:** true

 **mattata:** oh definitely

 **carrierpidgeon:** even i can’t disagree

 **hunkerdunker:** so is shay

 **shayfromstatefarm:** really?

 **carrierpidgeon:** mmmMMMmmMmMmmmmMMMmmm

 **allurable:** she feels more like a gryffinpuff with puff primary

 **lanceylance:** yep

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i’ve felt that way

 **hunkerdunker:** welp ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **allurable:** what about me

 **takashmeoutside:** gryffinclaw with the gryff primary

 **mattata:** gryffinclaw with the claw primary

 **allurable:**...oop

 **lanceylance:** claw primary

 **kogayne:** gryff primary

 **carrierpidgeon:** yikies

 **shayfromstatefarm:** claw

 **hunkerdunker:** gryff

 **allurable:** im going with claw primary ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **takashmeoutside:** sort me

 **allurable:** gryffinpuff with the gryff primary

 **kogayne:** ^^

 **mattata:** accurate as fuck

 **allurable:** yep

 **shayfromstatefarm:** absolutely

 **carrierpidgeon:** and i’m a slytherclaw

 **carrierpidgeon:** i have one primary and you get one guess

 **allurable:** HMMMM

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ur favorite color is green BUT

 **shayfromstatefarm:** u seem to favor ravenclaw

 **hunkerdunker:** as much as i want to say slytherin shay’s right

 **kogayne:** yeah ur a fuckin nerd

 **lanceylance:** ^^^^

 **kogayne:** is that the whole chat

 **allurable:** yep

 **kogayne:** so we’ve got gryffinpuffs shay and shiro, gryffinclaws me and allura, huffleclaws matt and hunk, and slytherclaws lance and pidge

 **kogayne:** with hufflepuffs hunk and shay, ravenclaws  allura pidge and matt, slytherin lance, and gryffindors me and shiro

 **lanceylance:** i am inimitable i am an originallll

 **kogayne:** those lyrics aren’t even yours

 **lanceylance:** shhhhh no one needs to know

 **shayfromstatefarm:** smh

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** GOOD NEWS EVERYONE, MY UNCLE TEXTED ME, EVERYONE WHO APPLIED FOR THE COFFEE SHOP GOT THE JOB

 **kogayne:** NICE WHEN DO WE START

 **shayfromstatefarm:** not until after the show

 **shayfromstatefarm:** so basically not until after next weekend

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we’ve got other family friends working until then

 **lanceylance:** homygod im officially employed

 **kogayne:**!!!!

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** im so relieved

 **kogayne:** i can finally start helping shiro

 **lanceylance:** :( are u still thinking that you’re a burden?

 **kogayne:** i mean, i know you all dont think of me that way, but i still feel like it some days

 **kogayne:** im trying

 **lanceylance:** at least you’re trying

 **lanceylance:** i love u and i know shiro loves u too

 **lanceylance:** ur never a burden

 **kogayne:** i know

 **kogayne:** i love u too

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** EVERYONE READY

 **madplax:** I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT

 **lotoreal:** oh?

 **madplax:** NUMBER ONE, I HOPE YOU ALL LOOK DECENT, IT’S HEADSHOT DAY

 **lanceylance:** i always look more than decent, i am an adonis among you trolls

 **kogayne:** :O

 **lanceylance:** okay except for keith and hunk

 **hunkerdunker:** ;)

 **madplax:** whatever helps u sleep at night

 **madplax:** ANNOUNCEMENT TWO: DON’T FORGET WE HAVE REHEARSAL SATURDAY, 9-3

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i was up till 4 last night...i was going to sleep in…

 **madplax:** YOU KNEW FULL WELL WE WERE HAVING SATURDAY REHEARSAL

 **floronawiththecorona:** why were you up till 4

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i overestimated how much i had left to do on a project in design

 **dinezor:** oof that’s rough

 **zethridofmyproblems:** ouch

 **lanceylance:** shay havent you learned from my bad habits

 **shayfromstatefarm:** apparently not ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **acxalutelynot:** okay so what are we doing at rehearsal, is crew outside again

 **carrierpidgeon:** :)))))

 **kogayne:** hey starboy give me ur jacket when we get to the auditorium

 **lanceylance:** i gotchu

 **acxalutelynot:** hey ezor

 **dinezor:** smh i’ll leave it with my backpack

 **acxalutelynot:** thank u darling

 **dinezor:** damn right i’m a darling

 **dinezor:** /your/ darling

 **acxalutelynot:** yep

 **hunkerdunker:** ...hey shay do u wanna flirt or be courteous to everyone else in this chat

 **shayfromstatefarm:** im down with the courteous thing

 **hunkerdunker:** mmm me too

 **lanceylance:** :O

 **dinezor:** :O

 **acxalutelynot:** :O

 **kogayne:** :O

 **lotoreal:** are you all done?

 **lanceylance:** no??

 **acxalutelynot:** username

 **kogayne:** never

 **dinezor:** nope

 **carrierpidgeon:** heathens

 _(1) audio file from_ **_dinezor_ **

**zethridofmyproblems:** im disowning ezor and acxa

 **lanceylance:** mmm and what about me and keith

 **zethridofmyproblems:** i never claimed you two to begin with

 **kogayne:** im too cool for someone to claim (⌐■_■)

 **lanceylance:** babe,

 **kogayne:** *correction, one person has claimed me

 **kogayne:** i claim him back (⌐■_■)

 **lanceylance:** (⌐■_■)

 **carrierpidgeon:** oh not this shit again you two already did this once today

 **lotoreal:** they’re always like this?

 **lanceylance:** the kogane-mcclain guide to being badass boyfriends

 **acxalutelynot:** ez they’ve one-upped us

 **floronawiththecorona:** excuse me why is the drama chat suddenly the relationship chat my single ass does not appreciate this

 **madplax:** ^

 **lotoreal:** ^

 **carrierpidgeon:** my single ass doesn’t give a fuck i just think they’re annoying

 **lanceylance:** im about to be the most extra person here

 **madplax:** anyway we have rehearsal later bye

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I MEMORIZED MY LINES FOR THE SHOW

 **lanceylance:** SHOUTOUT TO MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND FOR RUNNING LINES WITH ME

 **kogayne:** :)

 **hunkerdunker:** i have like, 2 scenes left to memorize

 **hunkerdunker:** they’re both scenes with puck

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hunk and i memorized all of our scenes together tho

 **hunkerdunker:** ;D

 **allurable:** good job u guys, making me proud

 **lanceylance:** only the best for u allura

 **takashmeoutside:** how’s rehearsal going

 **kogayne:** lance’s jacket is the only reason i’m not a popsicle right now

 **mattata:** outside again????

 **kogayne:** yep

 **carrierpidgeon:** I CAN’T FEEL MY FINGERS, TEXTING IS A STRUGGLE

 **takashmeoutside:** do you guys need help? i got off of work early today

 **kogayne:** i brought this up to the assistant director and he nearly screamed

 **takashmeoutside:** is he someone i went to school with

 **kogayne:** i think?

 **takashmeoutside:** so i’ll be on my way

 **kogayne:** cool, i’m still going home with lance

 **takashmeoutside:** fine by me

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** IT’S GRATITUDE HOUR BITCHES

 **lanceylance:** today i’m grateful that i know all of my lines :)

 **kogayne:** im grateful that lance’s jacket is warm and lance is willing to give it to me even when there’s a chance for paint to get on it

 **carrierpidgeon:** im grateful today was our last day doing sets outside

 **hunkerdunker:** im grateful that it’s friday which means i can go to bed without worrying about homework

 **shayfromstatefarm:** im grateful my design project is turned in and away from me

 **takashmeoutside:** im grateful i got out of work early bc sendak came in when i was leaving and i was not about to deal with him

 **mattata:** im grateful that i’m on the brogane couch with my two loves and pizza

 **allurable:** im grateful for the fact that everyone is in a good mood and this monster movie doesn’t suck

 **carrierpidgeon:** does EVERYONE HERE LIKE MONSTER MOVIES???

 **shayfromstatefarm:** they’re cool ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **carrierpidgeon:** mmmm we need to have movie night tomorrow

 **kogayne:** brogane house

 **takashmeoutside:** sure

 **lanceylance:** HELL YEAH

 **hunkerdunker:** im in

 **shayfromstatefarm:** me too

 **mattata:** YE

 **allurable:** count me in

 **carrierpidgeon:** so we’re all in

 **carrierpidgeon:** nice

 **takashmeoutside:** matt allura and i will be the movie committee

 **lanceylance:** i’ll bring lots of blankets

 **kogayne:** pillow duty

 **hunkerdunker:** shay if u come over after rehearsal we can do snacks together

 **shayfromstatefarm:** sure!!

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’ll sleep till it’s time

 **mattata:** sounds good

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** bu?

 **kogayne:** they’re in the uk for the rest of the season

 **lanceylance:** yes but are we watching

 **kogayne:** duh??

 **lanceylance:** :D let me finish up with this thing i’m doing for my mom and i’ll be right down, get the tv set up for it

 **kogayne:** !!! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don't come at me for my hogwarts sortings :P (you're welcome to have friendly debates tho)
> 
> anyway see ya in the next chapter which hopefully will be up later


	64. saturday rehearsals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...basically what the title says, not much happens here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is short bc i ran out of inspiration and i'm Tired (it's monday morning, it's officially hell week for my drama club, sos), but i have some fun stuff in the notes

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** yo keith and i are going to dunks before we hit rehearsal, who wants what

**carrierpidgeon:** blueberry muffin, peppermint mocha iced coffee

**hunkerdunker:** croissant and hazelnut hot coffee

**shayfromstatefarm:** plain bagel untoasted w butter and a dunkaccino

**kogayne:** we gotchu

**allurable:** you kids have fun!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk or shay can one of you pick me up

**hunkerdunker:** i got u

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks my guy

**hunkerdunker:** you got it dude

**mattata:** thanks hunk i am failing in my brother duties so thanks for picking up my slack

**hunkerdunker:** are you still at the brogane house

**kogayne:** why do u think i spent the night with lance

**hunkerdunker:** makes sense

**hunkerdunker:** okay pidge im leaving now

**shayfromstatefarm:** see y’all at rehearsal

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**lanceylance:** keith and i’ll be a few minutes late, we forgot a couple things in the mobile order and this line is LONG AS FUCK

**kogayne:** where did all these people come from, there were not this many cars outside

**madplax:** that’s alright, flor’s taking the sat and i know a couple other people are coming late

**madplax:** besides it’s not like we ever start right on time

**dinezor:** the people that *are* already here are taking their sweet old time eating breakfast so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**zethridofmyproblems:** yo just a head’s up narti’s coming to this rehearsal, she didn’t wanna sit home and be bored all day

**zethridofmyproblems:** also, we have an announcement to make at rehearsal

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** DOES THIS MEAN I’M NOW THE ONLY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS GROUP CHAT?

**dinezor:** yep!

**acxalutelynot:** congratulations, now you’re basically a one dollar bill

**lotoreal:** ???

**acxalutelynot:** a single

**zethridofmyproblems:** OH SHIT

**sippinganartini:** oh dear

**dinezor:** ROASTED

**lotoreal:** what the fuck acxa,

**acxalutelynot:** seize the opportunity when it arises

**dinezor:** ^^^ now get backstage ur gonna be on eventually

**lotoreal:** why are we all friends

**dinezor:** we bonded over mutual disgust for a good 95% of the school and also our classes all happened to fall together

**dinezor:** now we know too much to back out

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**allurable:** hello children how is rehearsal

**lanceylance:** there’s a scene where lotor and i try to kill each other and i think he actually just tried to kill me, nbd tho

**kogayne:** i’m sorry what

**lanceylance:** to be fair the director wanted us to make it look more believable bc we’ve been going too easy on each other but i think lotor got a little too into his role

**lanceylance:** i don’t think he did it on purpose

**kogayne:** i’m sorry what

**hunkerdunker:** are you sure it was in your best intentions to say anything

**lanceylance:** yknow i’m having regrets

**carrierpidgeon:** you guys need to work this whole lotor situation out i’m so Tired

**carrierpidgeon:** just go up to his face and be like “apologize to my boyfriend”

**shayfromstatefarm:** she’s right, it’s gone on long enough

**takashmeoutside:** just do the same thing you guys did about that three year grudge

**takashmeoutside:** use ur communication skills

**takashmeoutside:** bc i too am getting tired of hearing about zarkon’s demon child

**hunkerdunker:** i wouldn’t say he’s a demon,

**shayfromstatefarm:** more like a woodland sprite that insists on getting all up in your business

**mattata:** so a gremlin

**carrierpidgeon:** excuse me /i/ am the gremlin he is not a gremlin get with the program

**allurable:** smh should’ve cast lotor as puck instead of whoever else got the role

**shayfromstatefarm:** YES thank you allura that’s exactly what i was going for

**allurable:** happy to be of assistance

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FINE i could use an apology anyway

**lanceylance:** wanna do it during the lunch break

**kogayne:** can we do it during a scene where u two aren’t on, like one of the hairdresser scenes

**lanceylance:** ye sure

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** lunch i was hoping we could go on a mini date and make a food run to like, mcdonalds or something

**lanceylance:** ur so sappy wtf

**lanceylance:** yes to the mini date but i just

**lanceylance:** why are u so Cute

**kogayne:** erythrwfasdtyjmjtrsfaetyj

**lanceylance:** Lanceylance used Fluster! It was super effective!

**kogayne:** ERTRHEDFHTRD FUCK OUTTA HERE NERD STOP DOING ME DIRTY LIKE THIS

**lanceylance:** keith is the cuteeeeeest

**kogayne:** bye i’m gonna rig a set to fall down in the middle of the show

**lanceylance:** :O HOW DARE

 

**_kogayne > lotoreal_ **

**kogayne:** so i know we’re not on the best terms right now

**kogayne:** would you mind having a chat with lance and i during one of the hairdresser scenes? it won’t take long

**lotoreal:** ...sure

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lotoreal_ **

**lotoreal:** what am i supposed to make of this?

**dinezor:** HONESTLY IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU GUYS WORKED THINGS OUT

**lotoreal:** ???

**dinezor:** u never apologized for insinuating that keith was abusing lance, remember

**lotoreal:** honestly i’ve been so busy it slipped my mind

**sippinganartini:** well get with the program

**acxalutelynot:** go talk to them during that scene

**dinezor:** ^^^ i’ll make sure u don’t miss a cue

**zethridofmyproblems:** GOOD LUCK

**lotoreal:** uh, thanks?

 

**_Let’s Go GNO_ **

**zethridofmyproblems:** ABOUT FUCKIN TIME

**dinezor:** TELL ME ABOUT IT

**dinezor:** KEITH AND LANCE FINALLY GOT THEIR ACTS TOGETHER AND NOW LOTOR HAS TO GET HIS TOGETHER EVERYTHING IS FALLING INTO PLACE EVERYONE CAN BE FRIENDS OR AT LEAST WE DON’T HAVE TO BE IN THIS AWKWARD STATE OF TENSION ANYMORE I CAN LIVE THE REST OF MY SENIOR YEAR WITH ONLY THE STRESS OF MY CLASSES AND COLLEGE STUFF

**acxalutelynot:** okay ez chill out

**dinezor:** i am the complete opposite of chill

**sippinganartini:** we know, because i’m the chill one and we’re nothing alike

**dinezor:** actually we’re both badasses who can rock a pair of heels

**sippinganartini:** you’ve got me there

**dinezor:** ;D

**sippinganartini:** oh good, you picked an easy emoticon this time

**dinezor:** I PUT ALL THE WACKY ONES INTO THE TRANSLATOR

**sippinganartini:** they still take longer to read than “teeth-smile winky face”

**dinezor:** shit u right

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** good news everyone i don’t need to kick lotor’s ass, he finally apologized and EVEN ADMITTED he was kind of overstepping his boundaries a little

**lanceylance:** everything is resoooooolved thank GOD

**kogayne:** we’re not friends but we’re not in that weird state anymore

**takashmeoutside:** so if you’re not friends, what are you

**kogayne:** acquaintances

**lanceylance:** people who go to school and happen to be in the same club

**carrierpidgeon:** rtyredfggrf i’m sorry but i read shiro’s text in jack frost’s voice

**carrierpidgeon:** “this whole time i thought you were a kangaroo. if you’re not a kangaroo, WHAT ARE YOU”

**lanceylance:** jack frost is an icon and part of the reason i am secure in my bisexuality

**kogayne:** what?

**lanceylance:** that boy is Fine

**hunkerdunker:** he’s also a reckless little shit with a penchant for getting himself into trouble and needing his friends to help him out sometimes

**hunkerdunker:** oh i wonder where we’ve seen that before

**kogayne:** are you insinuating something hunk

**hunkerdunker:** no keith whyever would i do that

**hunkerdunker:** besides jack’s hair is white and he wears blue a lot and your hair is black and you wear red a lot

**kogayne:** yeah mmhmm i totally believe you

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** hoyl shit it all makes snese

**carrierpidgeon:** snese

**shayfromstatefarm:** watch out everyone i gotta snese

**allurable:** oocha

**shayfromstatefarm:** OOCHA I’M CRYING

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna expose keith real quick, rotg jack frost is half the reason keith got involved with cryptid hunting, after he saw jamie bennett carrying around that book of mythical creatures

**carrierpidgeon:** and jack frost was in it

**carrierpidgeon:** and KEITH’S GAY ASS

**kogayne:** PIDGE,

**carrierpidgeon:** WAS SO IN LOVE WITH MR. “ALONE FOR 300 YEARS AND USING HUMOR AS A COPING MECHANISM FOR HIS CRIPPLING ANXIETIES” THAT HE WANTED TO GO OUT AND LOOK FOR HIM

**kogayne:** I WAS TWELVE WHEN IT CAME OUT PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU JUST TURNED 13

**kogayne:** SHUT UP

**allurable:** wears blue a lot, a little shit who uses humor to cope with anxiety, keith is attracted to him, where have we seen this before

**lanceylance:** ALLURA

**mattata:** we’ve unlocked a conspiracy

**hunkerdunker:** holy shit jack frost is just the klance lovechild

**shayfromstatefarm:** #confirmed

**kogayne:** idk how to feel about this

**lanceylance:** me either

**kogayne:** ...PIDGE IS THAT YOU WHEEZING ON THE CATWALK

**carrierpidgeon:** this is one of the greatest developments in the group chat in a while

**carrierpidgeon:** we’ve gone from wheezing to straight-up crying 

**kogayne:** unfriended blocked reported

**lanceylance:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** IF YOU LEAVE TO GO GET FOOD PLEASE BE BACK BY ONE, DO NOT DO SOMETHING RIDICULOUS AND GO TO LIKE, OUTBACK FOR A SIT-DOWN MEAL

**lanceylance:** is that supposed to be @ me and keith

**madplax:** no it was a general note but if the shoe fits

**kogayne:** no outback here, just mcdonalds

**carrierpidgeon:** pls bring me back some nuggs and fries

**lanceylance:** it’s not wendy’s

**carrierpidgeon:** i know and i am disappointed but also desperate

**lanceylance:** we gotchu

**hunkerdunker:** shay and i are hitting subway, we’ll be back asap

**dinezor:** catch me and the Girls (and lotor) at the deli supporting our local small business like good citizens

**madplax:** OKAY I DIDN’T NEED EVERYONE CALLING OUT THEIR LUNCH DESTINATIONS JUST BE BACK BY THE TIME REHEARSAL GETS GOING AGAIN JEEZ LOUISE

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**floronawiththecorona:** I AM FREE FROM SAT HELL, DID ANYONE BRING ME FOOD OR DO I NEED TO RUN TO THE CONVENIENCE STORE BEFORE REHEARSAL GETS GOING AGAIN

**madplax:** i gotcha covered, i got u a salad from panera

**floronawiththecorona:** i knew there was a reason u were my best friend

**madplax:** damn right

**lanceylance:** that’s cute but hunk and i are still ur best friend goals

**hunkerdunker:** we’re going for best bromance in the yearbook

**hunkerdunker:** shay and i are also going for best mom and dad figures, and also cutest couple

**kogayne:** so are lance and i,

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk we’ve already lost just accept defeat

**dinezor:** YOU’RE ON, KLANCE

**lanceylance:** keith look we’re so iconic our ship name is spreading even more

**madplax:** [quiet chanting] this will not be the relationship chat again this will not be the relationship chat again this will not be the relationship chat again

**madplax:** ANYWAY IF YOU’RE NOT BACK YET YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES TO HAUL ASS BACK TO THIS AUDITORIUM

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** i just remembered why i hate hell week, aside from being in this school for hours on end

**allurable:** mmm?

**lanceylance:** headaches

**lanceylance:** HEADACHES

**lanceylance:** hhhhnnnn i wanna diiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee

**kogayne:** no you don’t

**lanceylance:** HHHHHHHNNNNNNNN

**allurable:** headaches?

**allurable:** do you know what’s causing them

**lanceylance:** breathing the same stale school air, dehydration probably, not eating well enough probably,

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** shh i’ll drive us back to your house, u rest

**kogayne:** does anyone have anything incredibly pressing that can’t wait the five minute drive between the school and lance’s house before we dip

**takashmeoutside:** wear a seatbelt

**kogayne:** Thanks For The Advice

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** so are we all still on for movie night tonight

**allurable:** idk, depends on how lance is feeling

**kogayne:** he’s napping right now, if he stays asleep for the next few hours his headache should go away, and then we’ll go back to my house

**takashmeoutside:** my house

**kogayne:** hush granola bar you know what i meant

**mattata:** so we’re still on then

**kogayne:** yes

**mattata:** oh good

**hunkerdunker:** shay and i are doing some experimenting with popcorn, we’ll let you know how it turns out

**mattata:** idk whether to be excited or afraid

**carrierpidgeon:** if you can’t trust hunk with food you can’t trust anyone with anything, i’m EXCITED

**mattata:** hey pidge who brought you home

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m at hunk’s house freeloading and watching tv while he and shay slave in the kitchen

**shayfromstatefarm:** honestly it’s better that she’s in there

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**hunkerdunker:** this was voluntary this is not slavery

**hunkerdunker:** shhhhhhhh i volunteered to do food

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^^

**kogayne:** y’all wanna do gratitudes in person today before we start the movies so we all have that warm fuzzy feeling

**carrierpidgeon:** that was one of the softest things you’ve ever said

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m in

**hunkerdunker:** ^

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^

**allurable:** ^

**takashmeoutside:** ^

**mattata:** nnnnnnnnnnnnooooooYES

**kogayne:** dead to me

**mattata:** ur existence would be dull without me

**mattata:** if i was not here, the odds of you and pidge ever becoming friends would be significantly lower than they were

**carrierpidgeon:** i hate when u have a valid point

**kogayne:** ikr

**mattata:** RUDE

  
**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**takashmeoutside:** okay, brogane house is ready for guests

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk and i are cleaning up, the two of us and pidge will be there soon

**kogayne:** lance is stubbornly refusing to get out of bed

**kogayne:** not because his head hurts anymore,

**kogayne:** only because he’s being a little shit

**hunkerdunker:** pick him up

**shayfromstatefarm:** threaten to go get his mom

**lanceylance:** OKAY I’M UP JEEZ SHAY WHO ARE YOU SATAN

**kogayne:** shiro we’ll be over in under ten minutes :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was gonna be longer but i wasted 3 hours of my life today on pinterest  
> [here's a pinterest board for this fanfic (it's also for my friend group tho so some of it doesn't totally match up)](https://www.pinterest.com/eileensholo/squad-up/)  
> [here's a klance-related board (mostly squad up but applicable to klance across all universes)](https://www.pinterest.com/eileensholo/space-ranger-partners/)  
> [here's a pinterest board for everyone reading deceit so natural >;)](https://www.pinterest.com/eileensholo/deceit-so-natural/)
> 
> ALSO I'M TAKING FANFIC REQUESTS  
> read [this post](https://www.instagram.com/p/BcRDNyRg8-y/?taken-by=nerdyspaceace) and [this post](https://www.instagram.com/p/BcRDXS-gA9a/?taken-by=nerdyspaceace) on instagram, and then either leave your requests in the comments there or in the comments here, PLEASE MAKE SURE TO READ THE RULES BEFORE REQUESTING THANKS. all requests will be posted to ao3 in one big fanfic where each chapter is a one-shot
> 
> okay thanks idk when the next chapter of squad up is going up this week is literally going to be hell on earth i have no life this week bye


	65. drama club senior night aka pidge is sentimental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a summary of the monday chapter that doesn't exist: rehearsal happens and lance has a migraine bc oh my god does this boy not take care of himself, who are you, keith
> 
> actual summary for this chapter: secret santa is happening, there's rehearsal, it's senior night, yada yada

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao so there was no monday chapter bc i came home from monday rehearsal with a killer migraine, if you're wondering what happened to it just refer to everything lance says at the beginning of this chapter
> 
> have fun reading kids

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** the sun hasn’t even risen what’s gone wrong now

**lanceylance:** MY STUPID MIGRAINE FROM YESTERDAY

**lanceylance:** I CAN FEEL THE LITTLE FUCKER TRYING TO COME BACK

**kogayne:** did you eat this morning? did you drink water?

**lanceylance:** ...not yet…

**kogayne:** /lance/

**kogayne:** how late did you go to bed last night?

**lanceylance:** OKAY HEAR ME OUT

**kogayne:** oh no

**lanceylance:** I LAID DOWN FOR LIKE, SIX HOURS AFTER REHEARSAL, MY MIGRAINE DIDN’T SUBSIDE ENOUGH FOR ME TO STAND IN THE SHOWER WITHOUT PASSING OUT TILL LIKE, ONE IN THE MORNING

**kogayne:** don’t tell me you showered at one in the morning

**lanceylance:** i did, and i ate food

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** and then i did my homework

**kogayne:** L A N C E

**lanceylance:** and i went to bed at four

**kogayne:** LANCE WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** smh you’re not driving today, i am

**kogayne:** and we are getting dunkin and you are getting breakfast

**kogayne:** i will not let you pass out on me in the middle of the school day, dO YOU UNDERSTAND

**kogayne:** make sure you have a water bottle in your backpack, coffee will get you going but it won’t keep you healthy and feeling like not-death

**lanceylance:** are you speaking from experience

**kogayne:** MAYBE

**kogayne:** get dressed and get ur act together i’ll be there soon

**kogayne:** EAT A GRANOLA BAR OR SOMETHING JUST GET FOOD IN YOUR SYSTEM

**lanceylance:** you’re cute when you’re concerned for my health

**kogayne:** dO NOT 

**lanceylance:** i love youuuuuuuuuuuu

**kogayne:** smh

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** this is a callout for my boyfriend if he collapses during the day i am not responsible

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on with lance now

**lanceylance:** SWFDGHFJNFERS SHUT UP KEITH

**shayfromstatefarm:** is his migraine back

**kogayne:** not yet but it’s threatening to

**lanceylance:** the WORST

**kogayne:** yeah his migraine was pretty bad yesterday

**lanceylance:** YOU KNOW FOR A FACT I WAS NOT REFERRING TO THE MIGRAINE

**kogayne:** :P

**shayfromstatefarm:** does he have food in his system

**hunkerdunker:** does he have water, does he need painkiller

**carrierpidgeon:** does he need someone to yell at him until he gets his life in order

**kogayne:** uhhh yes, yes, not yet, i already filled that role sorry

**lanceylance:** aw u guys care so much but aLSO I CAN HANDLE MYSELF THANK YOU VERY MUCH

**kogayne:** you almost collapsed during rehearsal yesterday, i had to carry you out to the car

**allurable:** LANCE STOP WORKING YOURSELF TO DEATH PLEASE AND THANK YOU

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ONCE THIS WEEK IS OVER I’M FREE, MOSTLY

**lanceylance:** AFTER THAT IT’S JUST CHRISTMAS STUFF

**shayfromstatefarm:** SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS STUFF IS EVERYONE STILL IN FOR A SECRET SANTA

**mattata:** DILDO SEASON IS UPON US

**shayfromstatefarm:** EVERYONE BUT MATT

**mattata:** NONE OF YOU APPRECIATE ME

**allurable:** i appreciate you  <3

**mattata:** why thank u princess  <3

**takashmeoutside:** i appreciate u too but i stg if i end up with a dildo,,,

**kogayne:** um,

**takashmeoutside:** KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

**lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** I NEED IMMEDIATE DEATH

**mattata:** ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m going to remove everyone from this group chat and delete it so my soul can be cleansed

**carrierpidgeon:** then i’m going to jump in a pool of bleach

**lanceylance:** lemme in on that bleach deal

**shayfromstatefarm:** so phallic objects aside, ARE WE DOWN FOR A SECRET SANTA OR NOT, I NEED TO GET THINGS ORGANIZED SO I CAN HAVE RAX PICK WHO HAS WHO

**kogayne:** ah, rax

**hunkerdunker:** i’m in!!

**kogayne:** ^

**lanceylance:** sign me up

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m down

**takashmeoutside:** count me in

**allurable:** !!!

**mattata:** let’s do it

**shayfromstatefarm:** GREAT, EXPECT A TEXT LATER FROM RAX WITH THE PERSON YOU HAVE, I SWEAR I WON’T LOOK AT IT

 

**_raxattacks > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**raxattacks:** so you’re all doing your secret santa?

**shayfromstatefarm:** YEAH

**shayfromstatefarm:** did u organize the list already

**raxattacks:** yep, you’ve got shiro

**shayfromstatefarm:** i can’t even ask keith what to shop for for his cousin,,,

**raxattacks:** sucks ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_raxattacks > hunkerdunker_ **

**raxattacks:** hey hunk, this is rax, here about the secret santa

**raxattacks:** you have been assigned keith, good luck

**hunkerdunker:** thanks dude

 

**_raxattacks > lanceylance_ **

**raxattacks:** hi lance, it’s rax with ur secret santa assignment

**raxattacks:** you’ve got matt

**lanceylance:** OHOHOHOHOHOHO

 

**_raxattacks > carrierpidgeon_ **

**raxattacks:** hey pidge, it’s rax, your secret santa assignment is:

**raxattacks:** shay

**carrierpidgeon:** i won’t let ur sister down

 

**_raxattacks > mattata_ **

**raxattacks:** hey matt

**raxattacks:** ur secret santa assignment is hunk

**mattata:** DILDO TIME

**raxattacks:** shay has a specific note here that says you are not allowed to give people phallic or generally sex-related objects

**mattata:** DAMMIT

 

**_raxattacks > takashmeoutside_ **

**raxattacks:** hi shiro, i’ve got your secret santa assignment

**raxattacks:** you have lance

**takashmeoutside:** okay, thanks

 

**_raxattacks > kogayne_ **

**raxattacks:** hey keith, it’s rax

**raxattacks:** your secret santa assignment is allura

**kogayne:** thanks for the head’s up

 

**_raxattacks > allurable_ **

**raxattacks:** hi allura, rax here,

**raxattacks:** your secret santa assignment is pidge

**allurable:** okie doke thanks

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** huehuehuehuehue

**takashmeoutside:** we should’ve banned matt /and/ lance, that laugh concerns me

**kogayne:** whoever has lance as their secret santa: rest in pieces 

**lanceylance:** oh hush ye of little faith

**mattata:** whoever has lance as a secret santa is one lucky guy 

**mattata:** or girl

**mattata:** or whatever u identify as, we don’t judge here

**allurable:** we only judge our fashion sense

**kogayne:** i thought we judged on whether or not you’re a good person

**carrierpidgeon:** i judge based on intellect ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** im with keith here

**shayfromstatefarm:** why are we judging ppl tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** i thought we didn’t judge here

**lanceylance:** we all judge, some of us just choose kindness and keep our mouths shut 

**kogayne:** is that supposed to be @ me

**lanceylance:** nooo

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■) im judging u behind these glasses

**lanceylance:** bOI

**mattata:** do u ever have regrets 

**takashmeoutside:** [gazes wistfully into the distance] every day

**mattata:** mmMmmmmMMmmMMMMmmm

**takashmeoutside:** like the breakup

**mattata:** i

**mattata:** AaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** oh my god you broke matthew holt

**takashmeoutside:** :)

**mattata:** u asshole,,,

**lanceylance:** the broganes are plotting to break half the gc i’m calling it now

**kogayne:** ;)

**lanceylance:** MAKE IT STOP

**carrierpidgeon:** [long sigh]

**hunkerdunker:** hmmm

**hunkerdunker:** hey, shay,

**shayfromstatefarm:** [spins around real cute-like and bats my eyelashes] yes hunky?

**hunkerdunker:** JSKDKFKSAL

**lanceylance:** WHAT IS HAPPENING, DID SOMEONE SPILL A LOVE POTION

**lanceylance:** THAT’S IT IM GONNA GO SAVE MYSELF AND PAY ATTENTION TO SPANISH FOR ONCE

**kogayne:** see u at lunch ;)

**lanceylance:** MMMFFF

**shayfromstatefarm:** see u next period hunk :)  <3

**takashmeoutside:** see u at work matt, and i’ll see u soon allura ;)))

**allurable:** w hat

**carrierpidgeon:** i actually hate this group chat

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**hunkerdunker:** are u ever violently reminded in the middle of physics that tonight is senior night

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**madplax:** omfg no i’m already crying thinking about it shut up hunk

**carrierpidgeon:** hell yeah i get to make all of u senior fuckers cry

**kogayne:** i can see the underclassmen now:

**kogayne:** “keith, at first, i thought u were like super emo...i was right”

**floronawiththecorona:** trynredntredfbnthredf

**carrierpidgeon:** dammit keith how’d u find my speech for u

**kogayne:** the aliens told me

**carrierpidgeon:** :O

**acxalutelynot:** are u kidding me rn

**kogayne:** they’re out there

**madplax:** time to Go keith is bringing conspiracy theories into the drama chat

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**floronawiththecorona:** real talk tho i remember freshman thru like, fall of junior year where keith was just like, rlly broody and stuff and never talked to anyone besides a select few people, and now he’s sending aliens and emoticons to the group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** #character development

**kogayne:** once u find a core group of ppl u trust with ur life, they help u out of ur shell

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**hunkerdunker:** :D

**shayfromstatefarm:** <3

**lanceylance:** <<<<<33333333333333

**dinezor:** aw just like me and acxa and lotor and zethrid and narti!!

**zethridofmyproblems:** <3 

**acxalutelynot:** ur cool i guess

**lotoreal:** ^

**dinezor:** nvm ur all sarcastic assholes

**madplax:** efghtnfsda

**lotoreal:** oh dear, your words cut so deep, i am in so much pain, ezor

**dinezor:** YOU’VE BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** HOLY FUCK SHIRO I AM SO FUCKING GAY

**takashmeoutside:** congrats on coming out i’m so proud of u

**kogayne:** EGHNRFSGDHGD SHUT UP

**kogayne:** SHIRO IT’S NOT FAIR

**takashmeoutside:** i’m gonna regret asking but /what/ isn’t fair, keith

**kogayne:** LANCE

**takashmeoutside:** i thought i was done with this when u two finally got together

**kogayne:** SHIRO HE’S SO HOT IT’S NOT FAIR

**takashmeoutside:** what prompted this

**kogayne:** FOR HIS COSTUME HE LITERALLY

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** his costume is him literally screaming, got it

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** LIKE

**kogayne:** HE’S IN SKINNY JEANS, AND A LEATHER JACKET, AND SUNGLASSES, AND HOLY SHIT HIS HAIR EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM 

**kogayne:** HOW DO I TURN OFF THE GAY THOUGHTS

**kogayne:** THERE’S A STRETCH OF THE PLAY WHERE HE’S ON THE GROUND PRETENDING TO BE ASLEEP, HOW DO I FOCUS ON MOVING SETS AND SHIT WHEN HIS GORGEOUS FACE IS ON THE GROUND LIKE 2 FEET AWAY FROM ME

**takashmeoutside:** you are the most whipped person i’ve ever met, and i’m dating matthew holt

**kogayne:** I CAN’T HELP IT THAT I’M DATING THE PRETTIEST BOY IN THE UNIVERSE

**takashmeoutside:** if matt saw this he’d probably try and fight u 

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** AT LEAST I’M NOT ALONE IN THIS HELL

**takashmeoutside:** what, is someone else pining over lance 

**takashmeoutside:** do u have a new enemy to fight

**kogayne:** ...SHIT

**kogayne:** NOT THAT I KNOW OF BUT THERE ARE PROBABLY PEOPLE OUT THERE

**takashmeoutside:** /why did i say something/

**kogayne:** BUT NO I MEANT SHAY

**kogayne:** listen,,, i am gay as fuck, i will acknowledge handsome men when i see them, and hunk?? in leather? 

**takashmeoutside:** don’t let lance see this

**kogayne:** i am 42069% sure that lance would agree with me

**takashmeoutside:** did you just

**kogayne:** no whatever do u mean cousin dearest of mine

**takashmeoutside:** why are you like this

**kogayne:** because i am

**kogayne:** gotta go l8r h8r

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** is everyone staying for senior night

**zethridofmyproblems:** yep

**dinezor:** of course

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** I HAVE WAITED FOUR YEARS FOR THIS

**hunkerdunker:** yep

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah

**lotoreal:** yes

**acxalutelynot:** yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** mmhmm

**floronawiththecorona:** yeah

**madplax:** okay then, we’re all meeting in the choir room

**madplax:** for all freshmen and/or newbies going, we’ll explain what this is when everyone is gathered

**madplax:** seniors, do you all have tissues

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** i came prepared, i have packets upon packets, i think i have enough to give out to every senior and then some

**madplax:** hunk this club doesn’t deserve u

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** hey so i wanted to keep the ones in the choir room short just so everyone could go and then everyone could go home and rest but i wanted to expand upon the ones for you guys

**carrierpidgeon:** sometimes i don’t really show it but i really appreciate you guys a lot, you guys are basically my role models and i don’t know how i would’ve made it this far without any of you, i’m so glad we’ve all been able to do this club together and honestly when u guys go to college next year i don’t know how i’m going to be able to function

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk, you’re basically my best nerd friend and doing crew with you the first couple years and then watching u transition into this confident guy on stage has been fucking incredible, you’re killing it out there, man, i’m sososo proud of you. you’re gonna do great things next year no matter where u go and i’m glad to have been along with you for part of the journey

**carrierpidgeon:** shay, girl, in this circle of guys i am so glad to have another girl around and i’m so thankful you’ve been there for me when i needed you. you’re such a sweetheart in general and you’re always ready to lend a hand to literally anyone in need? and you’re there with words of wisdom? fuckin drama club mom i swear, idk what i’m gonna do without u in school to hold me together and be the big sister i never had next year

**carrierpidgeon:** lance, u big fucking memer, how am i supposed to get thru my days next year without watching u shove food down ur throat at lunch or hear u cracking stupid jokes 24/7 or watch u defend ur friends without a second thought????? what am i supposed to do without you next year to lighten the mood when we need it the most?? jfc you’re just like matt (but lowkey better but don’t tell him i said that) and?????? HOW DO FUNCTION, WHO AM I GOING TO YELL MEMES AT ACROSS THE HALLWAY AND GET THE EXPECTED RESPONSE i’m gonna miss u so much and holy sHIT

**carrierpidgeon:** and keith, holy fuck man do we go back, u knew me basically from the time i was born bc ur cousin and my brother just had to be best friends. life with u has been a rollercoaster and it’s gonna be so weird for u to just not be here next year. we’ve been thru a /lot/ of shit together, like you’re my cryptid-hunting partner and you’re kinda the reason i’m like, still here??? i don’t wanna get into that bc god knows that was awful but i’m so glad you’ve been in my life, watching u grow up and growing up alongside of u has been a JOURNEY and you’ve basically been another big brother to me since day one. i love u man, i’m really gonna miss u

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna miss all of u

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NEXT YEAR WHEN YOU’RE ALL AWAY AT COLLEGE BEING SCHOLARS AND SHIT

**lanceylance:** pidge i’m actually crying

**kogayne:** what the fufck pidge i’m sobibng

**hunkerdunker:** PIDGE WE LOVE YOU TOO

**shayfromstatefarm:** WE’RE GONNA MISS U SO MUCH WE’RE ALL GONNA HAVE TO VISIT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** TAG URSELF I’M THE TERRIFIED SCREAMING

**carrierpidgeon:** NEVER LET THIS GROUP CHAT DIE, OKAY

**carrierpidgeon:** WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE THE NAME BUT NEVER LET IT DIE

**hunkerdunker:** WE’RE KEEPING THIS ONE AND HOLIDAY HOES ALIVE FOREVER

**shayfromstatefarm:** GLAD WE’RE ALL IN AGREEMENT

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** hello fuckers it’s gratitude time

**takashmeoutside:** i read the text and thought it was from lance

**takashmeoutside:** ...wait, you’re at lance’s, aren’t you, does he have your phone

**lanceylance:** nope that was all him

**kogayne:** they say when u spend a long time with a person u start to pick up on their habits and mannerisms

**mattata:** that’s a LIE if that was true shiro would be the biggest memer in the chat right now

**allurable:** or maybe the three of us just need to spend more time together

**mattata:** i am 100% down for that

**takashmeoutside:** ^^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** if it’s not you two, it’s klance, and on the hellish days, hunay jumps in

**shayfromstatefarm:** so like, earlier this afternoon

**carrierpidgeon:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**kogayne:** so anyway i’m grateful for the drama club, the final nights before a show always somehow brings the club closer together, no matter how many weeks we’ve spent rehearsing beforehand

**lanceylance:** i’m grateful that we managed to pull the show together in literally like two weeks

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful for that no calc homework thing we had going on today, ryner came through for once

**shayfromstatefarm:** SAME i’m also grateful that it’s tuesday, we’re one step closer to the show and one step closer to the weekend

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m grateful to have so many honorary older siblings

**kogayne:** PIDGE I WILL CRY AGAIN I SWEAR

**takashmeoutside:** ah, senior night, i was confused before i rememebered

**mattata:** reMEMEbered

**takashmeoutside:** i have made a Mistake

**takashmeoutside:** anyway i’m grateful that everyone’s having a good time, it seems

**takashmeoutside:** unless anyone wants to speak up so i’m not glossing over anything

**kogayne:** ur good

**lanceylance:** ^^^

**mattata:** ^

**carrierpidgeon:** all good in mr. rogers’ neighborhood

**hunkerdunker:** peachy

**shayfromstatefarm:** agreed

**allurable:** everything’s fine here

**takashmeoutside:** okay cool

**allurable:** i’m grateful for this secret santa we’re doing, i think it’ll be fun

**mattata:** honestly i’m grateful for shiro’s typo

**takashmeoutside:** tell me u didn’t take screenshots

**mattata:** i didn’t take screenshots

**lanceylance:** why the fuck u lyin

**allurable:** why u always lyyyin

**carrierpidgeon:** MMMmmmMMmmMM OH MY GOD

**kogayne:** STOP FUCKIN LYIN

**mattata:** :)

**takashmeoutside:** >:|

**kogayne:** i love this group chat

**takashmeoutside:** okay keith is mushy it’s getting late time for bed

**kogayne:** >:|

**carrierpidgeon:** “yep that’s shirogane’s cousin alright”

**kogayne:** ANYWAY GOOD NIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SOME FUN STUFF
> 
> I GOT AN A- ON MY LAST CALC QUIZ AKA ONE I TOOK YESTERDAY AND I HAD ONLY A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT I WAS DOING, IT BROUGHT MY GRADE UP LIKE 6 OR 7 POINTS ALSO I UNDERSTAND THE NEW SECTION WE'RE DOING AND FINISHED MY HOMEWORK BEFORE SCHOOL ENDED I WAS SO LIT
> 
> also psych today was essentially one big study hall so i plotted up through chapter 21 of stars go down, chapter 19 might be done and posted within the next 48 hours (insert eyeballs emoji here). if you're reading stars go down/dsn, prep for brogangst and shallurangst and langst and ANGST IN GENERAL TBH :)
> 
> also i'm still taking fic requests over on my instagram @ nerdyspaceace, just be patient and don't expect them right away, i got more requests than i expected and also like, other fics and life obligations, but anyway. i'm almost done writing one and guess what, there's angst, what's new
> 
> okay bye


	66. opening night!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> recap of a wednesday chapter that didn't happen: final day before opening night, the group does a thing where the seniors share their prior experiences with the drama club/crew and say nice things to every member who shows up for this event
> 
> actual chapter summary: it's preview day at school and opening night, aka the squad doesn't leave the fucking auditorium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my name is eileen and i write fanfiction backstage
> 
> aka i was backstage writing and one of my friends is like "are you writing another voltron fanfic" bc he knows i write voltron fanfics and i'm like "yep" and he goes "you should write one where they're all in a play" and i had to explain to him that my buddy,,, my pal,,,,,, am there doing that
> 
> he looked at me and went "of course you did" and went back to playing pokemon with my brother bc of course i did

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** so there’s a lot i’ve said to you and about you in the past, and i already said some stuff earlier during circle, but it’s always nice to give you another reminder of how much u mean to me, especially in writing so u can see it over and over again

 **kogayne:** im already gonna cry and u haven’t said anything yet, don’t do this to me,,,

 **lanceylance:** i remember the day clearly,

 **kogayne:** oh my god you’re gonna get so sappy

 **lanceylance:** oh just wait till i reenact this in person

 **kogayne:** L A N C E

 **lanceylance:** i was having a grand old time in the auditorium, prepping for our tenth rehearsal of a feudin’ over yonder, and in walks this MULLET with a bunch of the crew kids

 **lanceylance:** your messy mop of hair had never walked in with crew before that day, and i could not BELIEVE my greatest middle school rival was invading MY club

 **kogayne:** / L A N C E /

 **lanceylance:** i spent that whole rehearsal being the BIGGEST HAM with the few lines i had, just to prove i was better than you, while you spent the whole rehearsal showing off your muscles and lifting the heaviest shit you could find

 **lanceylance:** we both got in trouble in our own ways—you dropped three boxes and your arms were sore for two days, and i butchered my line so badly that the director spent ten minutes reprimanding the cast on the proper way to deliver your lines

 **lanceylance:** when wizard of oz came around i got stuck in my costume and u got SO DISTRACTED watching me that you broke a set piece and we both swore up and down never to talk about it to anyone. you helped me out of my costume and i helped you fix that piece and that was the beginning of our begrudging friendship

 **kogayne:** i still have a piece of that door

 **lanceylance:** okay james p sullivan

 **kogayne:** :P

 **lanceylance:** over the summer we got closer through pidge and hunk and shay and our little group really began pulling together

 **lanceylance:** sophomore year during bigtop i kissed nyma in the middle of rehearsal after we got together, and u made sure that my props were in the wrong places at the most random times and i never found out until two months later that it was u

 **kogayne:** i remember being so pissed at u and then pissed that i couldn’t even tell u

 **lanceylance:** i remember being pissed that u were pissed and wouldn’t tell me why u were pissed

 **kogayne:** wow we were bad at communicating

 **lanceylance:** then in the winter we got a lot closer and i realized that nyma made me absolutely miserable, while u made me happy, i liked you

 **lanceylance:** like really liked you and ur cute face and ur soft hair and sparkly eyes

 **kogayne:** whipped

 **lanceylance:** stfu ur just as whipped

 **lanceylance:** then during annie auditions i remember breaking up with nyma and she cussed me out so badly that hunk literally picked me up and dragged me away from her and it SHOOK ME and hunk had to leave bc his mom couldn’t wait and u sat and talked to me before i auditioned and calmed me down and then shiro drove us home

 **kogayne:** he made fun of me the entire car ride as soon as you got out of the car

 **lanceylance:** during rehearsals crew was always doing something or other and i remember asking hunk to talk me up to you and he and shay couldn’t take it anymore and set us up and on fuckign STAR WARS DAY we both asked each other out, except i asked u to join the dark side bc ur favorite color was red and u asked me to join the jedi bc my favorite color was blue and we ended up rejecting both sides and running away together

 **kogayne:** becoming grey jedi with ur boyfriend is the peak of modern romance

 **lanceylance:** apparently, bc it was enough to keep me around :P

 **kogayne:** yeah thank GOD

 **lanceylance:** :) then during auditions for arsenic junior year u were there to support me and i landed the lead and hunk got a good role when he switched over from crew to cast and u celebrated for me but then roasted hunk for abandoning u bc he was joining shay in the cast

 **kogayne:** but then we had pidge so it was okay

 **lanceylance:** hunk was lowkey offended

 **kogayne:** i mean i would be too

 **lanceylance:** but that was the year cast and crew really began merging and that rivalry started by the upperclassmen from before we even went to this hellhole of a school was finally over

 **kogayne:** about time

 **lanceylance:** then during the musical last year everyone’s voice started going out bc of fUCKING MYZAX and on our one year i was on vocal rest so u used the whole day to tell me how much u loved spending a year with me, and i got so flustered and cOULDN’T SAY ANYTHING

 **kogayne:** my best move

 **lanceylance:** u dick

 **lanceylance:** and then over the summer we got really REALLY close like closer than ever and we looked at engagement rings as a joke but i knew,

 **lanceylance:** i was so far gone

 **lanceylance:** i was already plotting the proposal

 **kogayne:** u CANT DO THIS TO ME

 **lanceylance:** and then u, u asshole

 **kogayne:** yes, i am an asshole,

 **lanceylance:** u had to take advantage of that ONE FOOTBALL GAME before rehearsals even got going where we were selling at the drama club table and fUCKIN GAVE ME A PROMISE RING AND I MELTED, ABSOLUTELY MELTED, U FUCKER

 **kogayne:** :)

 **lanceylance:** and then during rehearsals ur constant presence in the auditorium is so calming, and snuggling between scenes on the days crew isn’t doing stuff has been so, so wonderful

 **lanceylance:** shit happened between summer and now and you’ve gone through things no one should but u came out on the other side of it and you’re so strong, and i’m glad i’ve been at your side through it all

 **lanceylance:** honestly this hell club is fantastic on its own, but i’m glad i’ve shared these last four years in it with you, and i’d say the usual thing and be like “i’m gonna miss u so much after graduation” but i’m not going anywhere and neither are you  <3

 **kogayne:** i am CRYING, PIDGE WAS BAD ENOUGH ON SENIOR NIGHT, HOW AM I GONNA TOP THIS

 **lanceylance:** umm u can’t

 **kogayne:** try me, just u wait

 **lanceylance:** okay then ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lanceylance:** ur on!!

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** PREVIEW DAYYYY

 **dinezor:** can’t wait to spend the whole day breathing in that sweet sweet auditorium air

 **lotoreal:** oh dear, i do hope that was sarcasm

 **dinezor:** boi

 **lanceylance:** i’m missing ryner’s class which should be stressing me out but dO I CARE NO BC I’M MISSING HER CLASS

 **kogayne:** i get to spend the whole day with my boyfriend

 **carrierpidgeon:** KOGANE WE ARE NOT DOING THIS

 **lanceylance:** :D best part is, i don’t have a huge part during the previews, which meeeaaans~

 **dinezor:** if only acxa was willingly like this

 **acxalutelynot:** we have standards, ez

 **lanceylance:** see, keith and i also have standards, just very different ones

 **hunkerdunker:** we are going to be trapped in the auditorium all day

 **shayfromstatefarm:** please spare us

 **lanceylance:** no

 **kogayne:** let me love him

 **lanceylance:** yeah let him love me

 **carrierpidgeon:** adamant refusal

 **hunkerdunker:** ^

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ^

 **floronawiththecorona:** team anti

 **madplax:** ^^^

 **zethridofmyproblems:** yeah me too

 **carrierpidgeon:** stand down, klance, i’ve amassed an army

 **kogayne:** no

 **lanceylance:** us against the world

 **madplax:** ooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOoOoOoOoOoOoH MY GOOOOOoooooOoooOOOOoOoOoOoOoOOOOOD

 **madplax:** LANCE WAS NOT LIKE THIS THREE YEARS AGO

 **lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmm what are you tryna say plax,

 **madplax:** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

 **lanceylance:** i am going to marry the shit out of keith kogane

 **kogayne:** lance mcclain is going to marry the shit out of me

 **lanceylance:** the love of my fucking life

 **kogayne:** the oxygen i breathe

 **lanceylance:** sun to my moon

 **kogayne:** day to my night

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i just found lance’s twitter page he went to bed at fucking four in the morning

 **lanceylance:** yep and so did keith bc we were up texting

 **kogayne:** wait what did he tweet

 **kogayne:** L A N C E

 **lanceylance:** love ya babe ;)

 **madplax:** im blocking u both from this group chat

 **lanceylance:** if we bring munchkins for everyone will that change your mind

 **floronawiththecorona:** mmmm yep carry on

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** there are 10 hours till the show opens should i be having heart palpitations

 **allurable:** that’s normal for your final fall opening night!! :)

 **lanceylance:** ALLURA YOU ARE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE

 **takashmeoutside:** make sure crew has their act together!! don’t let a set fall apart!!!

 **mattata:** MAKE SURE CREW IS CLEARED OUT BEFORE THE CURTAIN OPENS

 **kogayne:** that’s their own problem

 **carrierpidgeon:** matt was a problem child

 **kogayne:** what do you mean “was”

 **carrierpidgeon:** shit u right

 **mattata:** :O

 **takashmeoutside:** matt is not a problem, matt is the solution to all of life’s problems

 **kogayne:** shiro’s being nice to his boyf what the fuck is goin on

 **takashmeoutside:** i love matt and allura

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I’VE ALREADY DEALT WITH KEITH AND LANCE BEING MUSHY IN THE DRAMA CHAT

 **mattata:** takashi shirogane is a Man

 **mattata:** My Man

 **allurable:** My Men

 **mattata:** Our Man

 **shayfromstatefarm:** the love potion is spreading

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hunk this is your fault

 **shayfromstatefarm:** oberon just HAD to send puck with the iphone potion

 **mattata:** w h a t

 **kogayne:** have u read the script

 _(1) link from_ **_kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** why did u send that so fast

 **kogayne:** i have it saved to my phone

 **kogayne:** for reasons

 **takashmeoutside:** i don’t wanna know

 **carrierpidgeon:** for once, me neither

 **kogayne:** good bc it’s nothing u need to worry about

 **lanceylance:** [squints] wyd mulletman

 **kogayne:** like i said nothing u need to worry about

 **lanceylance:** mmmm

 **kogayne:** nothing bad i promise

 **shayfromstatefarm:** okay everyone phones down get in places for the next run

 **shayfromstatefarm:** which means LANCE, detach yourself from keith and get your ass to the back of the auditorium

 **shayfromstatefarm:** KEITH, get backstage so u can move sets

 **kogayne:** why are previews so much work

 **shayfromstatefarm:** shhh stop complaining

 **shayfromstatefarm:** pidge, make sure light and sound are ready

 **carrierpidgeon:** gotcha

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hunk

 **hunkerdunker:** yes?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** you’re doing amazing sweetie :)

 **hunkerdunker:** is that genuine or a meme

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yes

 **hunkerdunker:** <3

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** great runs today everyone, we’re breaking 7th period and then we’re doing another run before the show

 **kogayne:** w h a t

 **lanceylance:** so theoretically, if keith and i were to sneak out to dunkin donuts and get /more food/, seeing as another run will bring us right to call time,

 **madplax:** i’m not /saying/ we’d break school protocol and sneak you back in through the side door,

 **madplax:** /but/

 **madplax:** if i just so happened to be leaning against it and accidentally opened it, and you two were just coincidentally arriving back,

 **lanceylance:** with food for the rest of the cast and crew

 **madplax:** well then...no one can be opposed to that, now, can they

 **madplax:** ;D

 **lanceylance:** ;D

 **lanceylance:** KEITH GET UR BUTT TO HOUSE WE’RE LEAVING

 **kogayne:** omw

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** my buddy my dude older brother man, i need caffeine and i need it BAD

 **kogayne:** one Death Coffee, on me

 **carrierpidgeon:** one down, four to go

 **carrierpidgeon:** thank you

 **kogayne:** any time, now make sure we can get back in when we get back

 **carrierpidgeon:** i gotchu

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**allurable:** you guys, matt and shiro and i are coming to see the show all three nights, it’s been decided

 **lanceylance:** DO YOU HAVE TO PRESSURE ME LIKE THIS

 **allurable:** yes, all in the name of Friendship

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m sure you guys will be fantastic

 **allurable:** i mean, nowhere near as fantastic as our classes were, that’s hard to beat

 **carrierpidgeon:** WROOOONG

 **carrierpidgeon:** your cast and crew were divided, constantly at war,

 **kogayne:** ours are UNITED

 **hunkerdunker:** (tbh i’ve literally never seen a more closely intertwined cast and crew than this one, we’re gonna kill it out there)

 **shayfromstatefarm:** pidge, you’re going to need to make sure the next couple years that this tradition carries on, never let the divide grow again

 **carrierpidgeon:** i will carry my duties with honor

 **allurable:** WELL THEN

 **mattata:** MAY THE BETTER CAST WIN

 **hunkerdunker:** (but there are so many variables, like what show everyone is doing,)

 **mattata:** HUSH

 **kogayne:** so anyway we’re winning

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** YO I KNOW WE OPEN IN LIKE 10 MINUTES BUT ONE MORE NOTE I FORGOT TO MAKE EARLIER TODAY: IF I HEAR EVEN A PEEP IN THESE WINGS LIKE I DID DURING PREVIEWS I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT EVERY ONE OF YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU REGRET IT

 **lanceylance:** [starts screaming in the wings]

 **madplax:** BOI DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH

 **lanceylance:** ...maybe

 **madplax:** ...lance what the fuck

 **lanceylance:** ;D

 **zethridofmyproblems:** do you wanna like, talk to guidance tomorrow,

 **lanceylance:** NAH I’M GOOD, ASK ME WHEN MY DEPRESSION REALLY KICKS IN THO

 **dinezor:** ANYWAY CAN WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT

 **kogayne:** yo is anyone recording the show

 **acxalutelynot:** i think someone’s recording every night, why

 **acxalutelynot:** do you want a copy

 **kogayne:** yes, as soon as possible

 **lanceylance:** WYD MULLETMAN

 **kogayne:** SHH DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT IT’S NOTHING BAD I’M JUST DOING A THING

 **lotoreal:** a “thing,” how specific

 **kogayne:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **madplax:** THE BALCONY IS ABOUT TO SPEAK

 **dinezor:** ryrterrerwdbrtegdb PLAX

 **madplax:** gotta be in character, pHONES AWAY WE OPEN IN FIVE

 **zethridofmyproblems:** thank u five minutes

 **lanceylance:** thank u five minutes

 **floronawiththecorona:** thank u five minutes

 **shayfromstatefarm:** thank u five minutes

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** pssst, starboy,

 **kogayne:** you’re gonna do great tonight. i’m really proud of how far you’ve come in this club, from little shit freshman with like, two lines, to senior with one of the leads (also ur hot as fuck in ur costume). break a leg out there.

 **lanceylance:** :D  <3 <3 <3

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** keith where are you

 **kogayne:** doin set stuff for act ii, why

 **lanceylance:** i can’t go out to the front in my costume

 **lanceylance:** go get me candy

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m already out front what do you want

 **lanceylance:** anything with loads of sugar, i’ve got homework to do when i go home

 **hunkerdunker:** oh my god there’s school tomorrow

 **shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **carrierpidgeon:** lance, i gotchu,

 **carrierpidgeon:** also highkey trying to skip tomorrow and just come in for the show

 **hunkerdunker:** i feel that on a spiritual level

 **carrierpidgeon:** lance i sent acxa back with two bags of skittles

 **lanceylance:** are they the sour ones

 **carrierpidgeon:** yes

 **lanceylance:** nice

 **lanceylance:** thank u carrier pigeon

 **carrierpidgeon:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **allurable:** pfft

 **allurable:** btw you guys are doing great so far!! act i is fantastic!!

 **mattata:** i’m still not over the first scene with hunk and shay,

 **hunkerdunker:** THE SLAP WAS FAKE I PROMISE

 **shayfromstatefarm:** so was mine dw abt it

 **mattata:** SHOOK

 **takashmeoutside:** do you know how hard it is to imagine hunk and shay cheating on each other when you know them personally

 **takashmeoutside:** good acting out there, guys

 **allurable:** shay’s dress and flower crown is the best thing i’ve ever seen

 **shayfromstatefarm:** THANK YOU :D

 **allurable:** okie doke kids, kick ass in act ii!!!

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** WHERE’S THE FUCKIN MIC TAPE

 **kogayne:** JESUS FUCK NOT THIS AGAIN

 **kogayne:** WE DO THIS EVERY SHOW

 **lanceylance:** THE FRESHMEN LOST THE MIC TAPE WHERE THE FUCK IS IT

 **kogayne:** WHY DIDN’T YOU TEXT THE GROUP CHAT

 **lanceylance:** NOT ABOUT TO HAVE PLAX LOSE HER SHIT ON THE FRESHMEN

 **kogayne:** WHY CAN’T WE GO ONE SHOW WITHOUT A MIC TAPE FIASCO

 **lanceylance:** F I N D  T H E  F U C K I N G  M I C  T A P E

 **kogayne:** OKAY SO I CHECKED SOUNDBOARD AND IT’S NOT UP HERE

 **kogayne:** IT’S NOT SOMEHOW OUTSIDE IN THE CONCESSION STAND

 **lanceylance:** THEN WHERE IS IT

 **kogayne:** WHICH FUCKER PUT IT ON THE PROP TABLE AND THEN HALF-BURIED IT

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JUST GET IT BACKSTAGE WE HAVE LIKE THREE KIDS SCRAMBLING THEY’RE ON IN LIKE ONE MINUTE

 **kogayne:** OMW

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** do u ever look at the underclassmen and for a moment feel like sharpay evans when troy and gabriella auditioned for the show and didn’t take it seriously but snatched the parts from sharpay and ryan

 **kogayne:** o m f g

 **kogayne:** what’s happening backstage now

 **lanceylance:** two of the sophomores are running lines

 **kogayne:** WHAT

 **lanceylance:** MMMM

 **lanceylance:** IT’S NOT EVEN TO KEEP THEM SHARP IT’S LITERALLY BC “IF I SCREW THIS UP AGAIN I’M LITERALLY GONNA JUST WALK OFF THE STAGE”

 **kogayne:** how did this show come together,

 **lanceylance:** a damn MIRACLE

 **lanceylance:** a lot of SPITE and DETERMINATION and LACK OF SLEEP and TOO MUCH CAFFEINE

 **kogayne:** shit u right

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**dinezor:** holy shit we actually did it

 **madplax:** I AM FREE OF THIS AUDITORIUM

 **lanceylance:** yeah till tomorrow

 **madplax:** HUSH MCCLAIN

 **carrierpidgeon:** y’all did great, light and sound thought u were awesome

 **kogayne:** SET CREW KNOWS OF YOUR SINS

 **floronawiththecorona:** shut up hypocrite, i saw u with lance

 **lanceylance:** welp

 **kogayne:** i’m not referring to makeouts i’m referring to other things

 **madplax:** DAMMIT GUYS WHO FUCKED BACKSTAGE

 **kogayne:** NO ONE FUCKED

 **madplax:** THEN WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SINS

 **kogayne:** I COLLECTED NO FEWER THAN SEVEN LOOSE SCRIPTS AND THEY WERE /NOT/ THE ONES BEING USED AS PROPS BY THE HAIRDRESSERS BC THOSE ONES WERE ON THE PROP TABLE

 **kogayne:** MEMORIZE YOUR DAMN LINES

 **madplax:** you all have been exposed by keith kogane, watch ur fuckin backs

 **madplax:** anyway other than that GREAT RUN I WILL SEE YOU ALL BRIGHT AND EARLY IN HELL BC I SWEAR IF ANY OF YOU SKIP OUT ON SCHOOL WHILE I GO IN AND SUFFER BC I HAVE THREE QUIZZES I CAN’T AFFORD TO MISS,

 **lanceylance:** shh good night everyone

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i’m gonna take advantage of u sleeping and use this time to get back at u, u little shit

 **kogayne:** first of all i was sort of crushing on you in middle school, ngl

 **kogayne:** so when we got to freshman year and you joined the drama club i came home and complained about it to shiro bc we had that “rivalry” and honestly why did u have to join that club, no fair, u were cute

 **kogayne:** shiro roasted me for that before he told me to join crew anyway, so i did

 **kogayne:** i still remember watching u screw that line up bc u were trying to prove something, that was the funniest shit i’d ever seen at that point and i knew u were doing it to spite me, like way to make me feel like a winner, u idiot

 **kogayne:** and then the box incident, i still remember waking up and moving my arms and realizing i fucked up bc i was lowkey trying to impress u

 **kogayne:** honestly oz was a hot fuckin mess for the two of us so stumbling upon you trapped in the costume was the second funniest shit i’d ever seen. u had a habit of making me laugh back then, and i wouldn’t have told u but seeing u then was the highlight of my days. when the set door broke and u saw me scrambling to try and fix it i honestly thought u would either make fun of me, bc i thought u genuinely didn’t like me, or you’d go rat me out, but you didn’t

 **kogayne:** both of us were so terrified of the director and the upperclassmen that you helped me and i helped you and somehow we became friends, and i was really glad for it. you were so easy to become friends with once some of my walls started coming down, and you opened ur door wide

 **kogayne:** still, i didn’t think you’d ever like me enough to date me. i heard rumors u were bi but i only ever saw u flirt with girls so i didn’t think i had a chance. rolo and i started going out and he was okay at first, he was nice enough, and i won’t lie, he was genuinely a good boyfriend the first few months. when i saw u going out with nyma tho, part of me was still angry and still jealous, even tho it was irrational. when u kissed nyma during bigtop rehearsals i hid ur shit to make u notice me and it was so childish and petty but it gave me an excuse to talk to you

 **kogayne:** then i started to realize that rolo wasn’t making me happy, not the way hanging out with you was. as time went on and he started to talk shit about the things i liked and i realized things were going down a toxic route, i wanted out, especially when it became clear that he was only using me to make nyma jealous

 **kogayne:** funny how that worked out

 **kogayne:** sophomore year was so wild, and when nyma finally cussed u out during ur breakup i knew i couldn’t just sit there and let u take it alone

 **kogayne:** me comforting u wasn’t me trying to move in and sweep u off your feet

 **kogayne:** some things never change and one of those things is me never wanting to see you in distress. at that point i’d mostly known you as happy-go-lucky, and i had no idea how deep your depression could run. seeing you really shaken like that was scary because i’d been there, i know what that feels like, i couldn’t just leave you to that, especially when u loved drama club and your audition was happening literally in like 5 minutes

 **kogayne:** when we drove u home that day shiro knew about you, even if he pretended he didn’t know that much. by that point i wanted to consider us friends, given the group that had formed over the summer. i’d talk about you. i got roasted to hell and back as soon as you left the car but it was so worth it

 **kogayne:** us getting together was the cheesiest shit ever and i can’t believe hunk and shay set us up like that, honestly who even are our friends

 **kogayne:** (also if we don’t do a star wars theme for prom this year, since prom is star wars day, i’m fighting u)

 **kogayne:** (i won’t really but how cool would that be)

 **kogayne:** since sophomore year i’ve watched you land fantastic roles in every other show we’ve done since then, from arsenic to now. it’s been a wild ride, from show week in the musical last year to how quickly this show has moved. and even outside of drama club, with our friend group and our classes and the bullies and the,,, other situations,,, it’s been...something. and i’m glad you’ve been the one constant through it all.

 **kogayne:** i’m gonna tell you right now that some nights i do stay up and look at my promise ring and wonder if you just wear it out of pity bc you think i’ll feel bad if you don’t. sometimes i stay up and wonder if maybe we are moving too fast, or wonder if you actually want this, but looking back on it, and reading what you said to me earlier, and looking at this ring now…

 **kogayne:** i’m excited to see what the future’s got for us. even if it all goes to hell, if we’re still holding hands and are at each others’ sides, it won’t matter, bc all that matters is you.

 **kogayne:** good night starboy, i love you  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway it was preview day at school and opening night and also not ALL of this actually happened but i'll let u guess what's real and what i made up here
> 
> also it's 4 AM and i did no homework and i have to be in school in three and a half hours bye


	67. CLOSING NIGHT (THE FUCK?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> closing night is...friday?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this is the friday chapter, this got longer than intended and i wrote much of it backstage
> 
> gonna work on the saturday chapter and hopefully have it posted before 12 AM monday

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIT, MAKING ME CRY THE SECOND I WAKE UP

**kogayne:** good morning starboy :)

**lanceylance:** don’t innocently smile at me, you asshole

**lanceylance:** you knOW FULL WELL WHAT YOU’VE DONE

**kogayne:** :))))

**lanceylance:** when we started dating i was under the impression you’d be mushy like, once a month and that’s it, your stoic personality takes over the other 95% of the time

**lanceylance:** i can’t beLIEVE

**lanceylance:** i love you,,, so much

**lanceylance:** i am so glad to be your boyfriend, and i am so glad you’re my boyfriend, and i keep going back to the last thing you said about the promise rings and stuff and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA i wear this thing bc i wanna show the world that i love keith kogane with all my heart and i’m not going anywhere

**lanceylance:** you’re absolutely right, you’re the only thing that matters. the world could be falling apart but as long as i’ve got you i know i’ll be okay.

**kogayne:** two dudes bein’ sappy first thing in the morning bc they’re real gay

**lanceylance:** :D

**lanceylance:** so, we need to make a game plan for tonight with the group chat, as it IS diner night

**kogayne:** milkshake here i come!!

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** GOOD MORNING FUCKERS HAPPY DAY 2 WHAT’S OUR PLAN FOR TONIGHT

**hunkerdunker:** oh shit it’s diner night isn’t it

**lanceylance:** YEP

**hunkerdunker:** okay i’ve got this

**carrierpidgeon:** hit us with it

**hunkerdunker:** okay so we’re all going home after school till call, right

**lanceylance:** affirmative

**kogayne:** lance is my ride today i don’t have a choice

**lanceylance:** :P

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** ye

**hunkerdunker:** okay so then i take the minivan and i pick everyone up for the show, and then i take all of you to the diner and you can just shower me with praise for being a great friend

**kogayne:** sounds good to me

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU BEST FRIEND

**hunkerdunker:** yeah i know i’m fantastic

**hunkerdunker:** after the diner what are we doing, are we having our own sleepover,

**lanceylance:** is anyone even hosting the cast sleepover on saturday

**hunkerdunker:** i think plax was gonna…? 

**shayfromstatefarm:** we can ask the group chat

**hunkerdunker:** okay but anyway are we doing anything tonight or are we just going home after the diner

**carrierpidgeon:** i vote sleepover mostly bc i want another mario kart tournament

**kogayne:** i can ask shiro if we can host

**carrierpidgeon:** nah you guys host all the time, i’ll ask my parents right now

**carrierpidgeon:** update: we’re good to sleep over

**carrierpidgeon:** one thing: the Adults are going to be there, and my parents are going to go on date night

**kogayne:** mario kart tournament at one AM

**lanceylance:** you’re on

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** i have some bad news, pls don’t kill the messenger

**lanceylance:** what?

**dinezor:** plax?

**madplax:** like i said, don’t kill the messenger,

**shayfromstatefarm:** what’s going on?

**madplax:** tonight is closing night.

**lanceylance:** um, what?

**madplax:** because of the snow tomorrow, all activities in the district have preemptively been cancelled 

**lanceylance:** are you fucking kidding me

**hunkerdunker:** w h a t

**madplax:** i had no say, i just wanted to tell you guys before we got blindsided and heard it over the announcements

**acxalutelynot:** thanks 

**lotoreal:** thank you, plax

**madplax:** im just as disappointed as the rest of you, so we’re doing senior flowers tonight, and also circle is going to be twice as long to compensate for loss of a night

**madplax:** trust me, if i was deciding, we’d be doing another show, but tonight, unfortunately, is our last. i’m so sorry.

**carrierpidgeon:** we understand, it’s not your fault

**dinezor:** thanks for letting us know 

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** my fucking senior show are you shitting me

**kogayne:** i know, i’m just as pissed as you

**kogayne:** it’s not fair, but there’s nothing we can do

**lanceylance:** dude i wanna cry, i was so ready for my senior show

**lanceylance:** ugh

**lanceylance:** can u meet me in the bathroom?

**kogayne:** of course

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**allurable:** wait are the rumors about the show true?

**hunkerdunker:** it already got out to the public?

**allurable:** whoever’s handling your social media accounts posted about it on twitter and facebook

**lanceylance:** im so upset wtf man

**lanceylance:** i’ve actually been crying for ten minutes

**hunkerdunker:** is that why you left calc?

**lanceylance:** ...maybe

**shayfromstatefarm:** blaytz or boyfriend

**kogayne:** who do you think 

**lanceylance:** ^

**takashmeoutside:** im so sorry you guys 

**mattata:** you guys worked your asses off to get this show together

**allurable:** you don’t deserve this

**shayfromstatefarm:** tell me about it

**lanceylance:** all we can do tonight is put on our best performance

**lanceylance:** man :(

**takashmeoutside:** hey, no matter what, we’re proud of you guys. you did the best you could and you did it in an impressive amount of time. you’re carrying on our legacy ;)

**mattata:** all of you truly are our legacy

**mattata:** i mean that from the bottom of my heart 

**lanceylance:** we wear this badge with pride

**kogayne:** ^^^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**allurable:** im sure you’ll all kill it out there tonight, give it your all for your final performance

**lanceylance:** we won’t let you down ;)

**allurable:** im sure of it :)

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**floronawiththecorona:** i know we’re all pretty bummed about the show not happening tomorrow bc mother nature had to be a bitch, but are we all still down for cast diner night?

**dinezor:** of course!!

**madplax:** give me smoothies or give me death

**carrierpidgeon:** CHICKEN STRIPS

**zethridofmyproblems:** FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS

**lanceylance:** FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS

**shayfromstatefarm:** FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS

**carrierpidgeon:** ya fuckign memers

**carrierpidgeon:** truly matthew holt’s legacy

**lotoreal:** isn’t that name spray painted on the inside of the wood closet?

**carrierpidgeon:** there’s a backstory that few people know for that

**kogayne:** PIDGE AKDKDJSKSKNEOEKVMSQKQNFFK

**carrierpidgeon:** shhhh im not actually gonna tell it

**hunkerdunker:** you would probably be killed if you did

**shayfromstatefarm:** by a hitman in the dead of night, the whole shabang

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah matt’s always been a bit extra

**kogayne:** aLwAyS

**lanceylance:** i wish we’d been friends sooner so i could’ve seen them in their high school years 

**kogayne:** PFFFFT NO YOU DON’T

**carrierpidgeon:** insufferable

**carrierpidgeon:** even more than you two

**madplax:** there was a high school couple more intense and obnoxious than klance?

**kogayne:** oh you have NO idea

**kogayne:** for all the shit we get, shiro and matt were SO MUCH WORSE

**floronawiththecorona:** drama crew legends

**kogayne:** smh 

**carrierpidgeon:** if they hadn’t been friends with allura they would’ve gotten into some crazy shit

**carrierpidgeon:** impulse control

**dinezor:** so diner

**hunkerdunker:** i think everyone’s in?

**acxalutelynot:** does anyone need rides

**hunkerdunker:** i have a full car so don’t ask me

**hunkerdunker:** scratch that i have room for one person but tbh you’ll be like, a sixth wheel, i wouldn’t recommend it

**madplax:** are lance and keith in ur car

**lanceylance:** MAYBE

**madplax:** yeah that should be enough to scare everyone else off

**lanceylance:** BOI WHAT THE Factually you know what let me romance my boyfriend in peace 

**lanceylance:** he deserves all the love in the world 

**kogayne:** <3333

**carrierpidgeon:** oh god someone else take me

**hunkerdunker:** too late you’ve made your choice

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  
  


**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**acxalutelynot:** so ez and i are gonna go pick up a massive pizza for the cast

**acxalutelynot:** everyone down with plain

**dinezor:** ^^^

**lanceylance:** yeah

**kogayne:** yep

**madplax:** ofc

**hunkerdunker:** sure

**floronawiththecorona:** yep

**lotoreal:** yes

**zethridofmyproblems:** yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**acxalutelynot:** okay cool

**acxalutelynot:** we should be at school in time for call

**madplax:** u fuckin better be

**madplax:** actually the earlier everyone can show up the better, we need time for circle and stuff

**madplax:** (so like, if u could be here even by 4:30)

**lanceylance:** we’ll be there soon

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** shay and i are leaving now

**hunkerdunker:** we’re getting pidge first, then we’ll get klance

**carrierpidgeon:** alright

**lanceylance:** the boyf and i will be waiting on the front porch

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s like 40 degrees

**lanceylance:** anyway we’ll be waiting on the front porch

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** where did you disappear to

**kogayne:** setting up the stage, why

**lanceylance:** i’m done with my makeup and i’m bored

**kogayne:** ...and…?

**lanceylance:** we’re going out in public after the show, aren’t we

**kogayne:** ...yes………?

**lanceylance:** can i do ur makeup when ur done setting up

**kogayne:** depends, what do you wanna do to my face

**lanceylance:** as much as i possibly can before circle

**lanceylance:** u have a perfect face so i’m going to make it double perfect

**kogayne:** dtytrewadfnhhnsdadg

**kogayne:** i’ll be there soon, i trust ur makeup skills

**lanceylance:** :DDDD

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** CIRCLE IN FIVE MINUTES GET YOUR ASSES TO THE CHOIR ROOM

**madplax:** FINAL. FALL. CIRCLE.

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** DO WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED

**allurable:** DO WE HAVE THE BOUQUETS

**allurable:** DO WE HAVE MONEY

**allurable:** ARE WE GOING TO LOWKEY STALK THEM AT THE DINER

**allurable:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** FLOWERS ACQUIRED

**takashmeoutside:** MONEY IS NO ISSUE 

**mattata:** I AM ALL FOR WATCHING OVER THEM AT THE DINER MOSTLY BC I WANT DINER FOOD

**takashmeoutside:** ^^^^^

**allurable:** ALRIGHTY THEN

**allurable:** WHO’S DRIVING

**takashmeoutside:** I’LL DRIVE, YOU TWO CAN BATTLE FOR SHOTGUN

**mattata:** LISTEN HERE SHOTGUN HAS BEEN MY SPOT FROM THE MOMENT YOU GOT YOUR LICENSE

**mattata:** ALLURA I LOVE YOU BUT I WILL THROW HANDS

**allurable:** OKAY YOU HAVE SHOTGUN

**mattata:** THANK YOU LOVE

**allurable:** YOU’RE WELCOME MEMELORD

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**lanceylance:** FUCK YOU GUYS I’M IN HOUSE AND STILL CRYING

**madplax:** STOP CRYING HOUSE OPENS IN TWO MINUTES

**kogayne:** 32 minutes till curtain

**dinezor:** AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU 32 MINUTES

**acxalutelynot:** thank you 32 minutes

**hunkerdunker:** thank you 32 minutes

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** break a leg out there, starboy

**kogayne:** razzle-dazzle ‘em

**lanceylance:** are u trying to make me cry harder iN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE

**kogayne:** <3 

**lanceylance:** you are the absolute worst  <3

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WE HAVE A SITUATION

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON PIDGE YOU CAN’T JUST TEXT THESE THINGS OUT OF NOWHERE

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M KEEPING AN EYE ON YOUR BOY BUT ROLO AND NYMA DECIDED TO COME AND SUPPORT THE SHOW, THEY’RE HERE

**kogayne:** FUCK WHA THRE FUCL

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE HAS NOTICED AND IMMEDIATELY DUCKED HIS HEAD, WHAT A SMART KID

**kogayne:** I DON’T KNOW WHETHER I SHOULD BE MAD THAT THEY SHOWED UP AFTER THEY GOT BANNED FROM THE CLUB OR GLAD THEY SHOWED UP BC THIS UNDERFUNDED CLUB IS GETTING EXPOSURE AND IS GENERATING AN AUDIENCE FOR OUR LAST SHOW

**carrierpidgeon:** UHHH YES?

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** THANKS FOR THE HEAD’S UP

**kogayne:** SHOULD WE NOTIFY THE GROUP CHAT BC HALF THE CLUB HATES THEM

**carrierpidgeon:** ABSOLUTELY

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** some unsavory meatsuits have walked into the auditorium, just a head’s up

**lotoreal:** i have a lot of not-friends at this school, you’re going to have to be a little more specific.

**carrierpidgeon:** rolo and nyma are here

**madplax:** joke’s on them we have their money now

**madplax:** and now they’re under our direction for like 2 hours

**madplax:** and if they try anything during the show crew will probably kick their asses

**kogayne:** we gotchu

**carrierpidgeon:** ^

**madplax:** :) nothing to worry about

**madplax:** now, we’ve got 15 minutes to curtain, let’s BREAK OUR LEGS

**carrierpidgeon:** thank you 15 minutes

**lotoreal:** thank you, 15 minutes

**kogayne:** thank you 15 minutes

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**allurable:** act i tonight is even better than last night!!

**lanceylance:** oh thank god

**lanceylance:** we want our final show to be better than our opening

**lanceylance:** does anyone wanna be nice and get me skittles again

**kogayne:** on it

**lanceylance:** love u babe

**takashmeoutside:** did someone do keith’s makeup

**lanceylance:** :D

**takashmeoutside:** i still have better wings

**lanceylance:** D:

**kogayne:** D:

**carrierpidgeon:** damn

**allurable:** we all know i do the best wings tho

**takashmeoutside:** mmm not this time

**allurable:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** makeup competition: lance vs shiro vs allura

**allurable:** would we be doing this on ourselves or on a willing participant

**carrierpidgeon:** why not both

**kogayne:** oh fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** i said willing

**kogayne:** MMMMM WE ALL KNOW I’LL END UP SAYING YES TO LANCE

**lanceylance:** i won’t make u do it, i can get hunk to do it

**hunkerdunker:** i wasn’t gonna reply to the chat but i feel the need to politely decline

**kogayne:** i mean i WANT to

**kogayne:** but i need to mentally prepare

**lanceylance:** ???????????????????

**kogayne:** u make me Flustered sometimes

**lanceylance:** ;D it’s what i’m best at, u look so cute

**carrierpidgeon:** so wait is this an actual thing, who’s doing makeup on who

**carrierpidgeon:** well i mean there’s keith and lance

**takashmeoutside:** MATT

**allurable:** MATT

**allurable:** DAMMIT

**mattata:** sorry princess, he got me first~

**shayfromstatefarm:** ALLURA I’LL BE YOUR CANVAS

**allurable:** THANK YOU SHAY

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk u wanna help me judge

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**hunkerdunker:** sorry guys but this show already has my pores crying

**shayfromstatefarm:** at least satan’s waterfall didn’t line up its visit to you with to the show

**shayfromstatefarm:** BREAKOUTS ARE THE WORST AND I HAVE LIKE 3 DIFFERENT CAUSES AT ONCE THIS IS AWFUL

**carrierpidgeon:** DAMMIT SHAY IS THAT THE REASON MINE SHOWED UP YESTERDAY

**kogayne:** isn’t a thing when girls spend too much time together their periods sync

**allurable:** actually there’s no scientific evidence for it and periods can fluctuate so it might just be that u sync up for a few months and then fall out of sync

**shayfromstatefarm:** periods do whatever the fuck they want

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** also by the way there are like 5 minutes to act ii, lance i’m coming with ur skittles right now

**lanceylance:** thank u keith thank u 5 minutes

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**acxalutelynot:** can someone keep rolo’s crusty ass from hanging around near the doors to the wing behind the auditorium

**acxalutelynot:** *not keith

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna go near him anyway

**lanceylance:** I’VE GOTTA GET ON STAGE DO NOT LET MULLETMAN NEAR THE DEVIL

**zethridofmyproblems:** i’ll take some of the freshmen with me and scare him off

**acxalutelynot:** thanks zeth

**acxalutelynot:** i hope he’s not still there when we run out after the show

**kogayne:** i mean, i have a knife on my person,

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**acxalutelynot:** as tempting as it is: USERNAME

**lotoreal:** not a wise decision

**kogayne:** it’s /only/ if he’s still back there when we do the run

**hunkerdunker:** no (orders from lance)

**kogayne:** hmph fine

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** i’m being held hostage backstage by the other crew kids

**kogayne:** is rolo still being a weirdo outside

**carrierpidgeon:** um i can’t exactly go and look, i’m on sound atm

**kogayne:** send one of the freshmen to go look

**carrierpidgeon:** fine

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** yes, for whatever reason, rolo’s still chillin in the hall, missing all of act ii

**carrierpidgeon:** i think i see nyma in the audience tho?

**kogayne:** i’m really considering confronting him

**carrierpidgeon:** DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU GOT INTO A CONFRONTATION WITH HIM

**carrierpidgeon:** IT SHOOK /ME/ AND IT /DEFINITELY/ SHOOK /YOU/

**kogayne:** MMMM BUT HE’S OUT THERE

**carrierpidgeon:** ugh

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll take care of things

 

**_carrierpidgeon > zethridofmyproblems_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** rolo’s still being a fucking weirdo in the hallway

**carrierpidgeon:** can u pls do me a favor and make him either sit back in his seat or fUCKIN LEAVE

**zethridofmyproblems:** yeah! i’m on it

**carrierpidgeon:** thank youuu

 

**_zethridofmyproblems > carrierpidgeon_ **

**zethridofmyproblems:** he’s headed back to his seat, he looks pissed that he’s been caught but he’s gonna be nice and quiet now

**carrierpidgeon:** thank u so much

**zethridofmyproblems:** no problem!!

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s back in house, situation has been dealt with

**kogayne:** what did you do

**carrierpidgeon:** sent zethid to talk to him

**kogayne:** didn’t we try that earlier and he stuck around

**carrierpidgeon:** well it worked this time

**kogayne:** mm

**kogayne:** thanks

**kogayne:** err, tell zethrid i say thanks

**carrierpidgeon:** just thank her when we go to the diner

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** ...dyou think he’ll follow us to the diner

**carrierpidgeon:** no, i think you’re getting overly worried for nothing

**kogayne:** okay bUT WHAT IF

**carrierpidgeon:** is your anxiety kicking in

**kogayne:** ???? I DUNNO I DON’T CONTROL THAT SORT OF THING AND IT DOESN’T GIVE ME WARNING

**carrierpidgeon:** are your hands shaking

**kogayne:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** are you suddenly sweaty or clammy

**kogayne:** NOT THAT I’VE NOTICED

**carrierpidgeon:** does ur stomach feel the same way it does the night before a big test

**kogayne:** I KNOW WHAT NERVES ARE PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** do not get overly defensive with me kogane

**kogayne:** sORRY

**carrierpidgeon:** IS YOUR ANXIETY KICKING IN OR NAH

**kogayne:** BOI

**carrierpidgeon:** *GURL

**kogayne:** GURL

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM ABOUT TO SEND ACXA BACK THERE

**kogayne:** I’M FINE

**carrierpidgeon:** ARE YOU LYING

**kogayne:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** BETTER FUCKIN NOT BE

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** TOOK THOSE RIGHT NOW, I AM  F I N E

**carrierpidgeon:** ALRIGHT THEN I’LL TALK TO YOU ON STAGE AFTER BOWS ;D

**kogayne:** IF YOUR SENIOR SPEECH MAKES ME CRY ON STAGE I WILL KILL YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** SHHHH EVERYONE WILL BE CRYING NO ONE WILL BAT AN EYE

**kogayne:** HOLT I SWEAR

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** i’m going to go to the diner with my makeup running bc of my TEARS

**madplax:** i CAN’T BELIEVE

**lanceylance:** that was our last fall show…….holy shit……..

**hunkerdunker:** E M O T I O N S

**shayfromstatefarm:** can we have one big cry at the diner

**floronawiththecorona:** i think we all need it

**lanceylance:** ^^^^^^!!!!!!!!!!!

**madplax:** YES

**madplax:** also the party room only holds 20, first come first serve, losers have to sit in the restaurant

**hunkerdunker:** dear everyone who i’m driving: if you don’t get to my car in the next minute i’m leaving without you

**lanceylance:** HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** beep beep bitch

**lanceylance:** H U N K

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**allurable:** CONGRATS ON YOUR CLOSING NIGHT GUYS, IT WAS AMAZING

**allurable:** I’M SO PROUD OF ALL OF MY CHILDREN BUT ESPECIALLY MY SENIOR BABIES

**kogayne:** yeah lance is a baby

**lanceylance:** JUST BECAUSE I’M A MESS OF TEARS

**kogayne:** :P

**carrierpidgeon:** if lance is a baby but he’s dating keith what does that make keith

**carrierpidgeon:** does this mean keith has a daddy kink

**kogayne:** EW OH MY GOD I TAKE IT BACK I HATE THE DADDY KINK

**kogayne:** I WON’T BE ASSOCIATED WITH MATT

**mattata:** excuse me, that kink is purely ironic

**carrierpidgeon:** i have Regrets

**lanceylance:** shiro and allura are suspiciously silent on the topic of mathematics’ daddy kink

**mattata:** THAT’S NOT MY NAME

**allurable:** UH

**takashmeoutside:** UM

**kogayne:** I WANT BLEACH AND I WANT IT NOW WE’RE STOPPING AT TARGET AFTER THE DINER

**hunkerdunker:** GLADLY

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**lanceylance:** are we ever gonna do a cast sleepover orrrr

**floronawiththecorona:** is anyone willing to host one when we’re mostly all free

**lotoreal:** i have the house for it, however, my father is rather…

**madplax:** we all hate ur dad sorry dude

**lotoreal:** ...yes, that.

**lotoreal:** if it’s any consolation, i, too, have an intense dislike for him.

**madplax:** ...damn u alright

**lotoreal:** i’ve been dealing with this for years, i’m past the point of being upset

**lotoreal:** i have friends, i have this club.

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** do you ever suddenly feel really bad for giving lotor shit

**lanceylance:** now that you two have worked things out, yes

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah

**kogayne:** hhnnn

**hunkerdunker:** should we like, say something

**kogayne:** maybe monday

**kogayne:** i’m exhausted i can’t add another problem to deal with to my schedule 

**shayfromstatefarm:** uh

**kogayne:** OKAY SO THAT CAME OFF REALLY RUDE BUT LIKE HE’S JUST TALKING TO THE DRAMA CHAT AND EVERYONE ELSE IS THERE BUT I’M PERSONALLY NOT STEPPING UP TILL MONDAY I WANT TO FINISH THIS MILKSHAKE AND TO GO TO THE HOLT HOUSE AND PLAY MARIO KART AND THEN TO CRASH

**shayfromstatefarm:** that’s what i thought, i just wanted confirmation

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** pssssssssssssst

**kogayne:** PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST

**lanceylance:** why are u texting me

**lanceylance:** ...wait wHERE ARE YOU

**lanceylance:** I WAS SLEEPING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU WHERE DID YOU GO

**kogayne:** i got hungry, i’m raiding the fridge

**kogayne:** shiro and matt and allura are all asleep on top of each other in front of the wii and it’s stuck on the wii sports resort loading screen i might actually cry this is so funny but also rlly cute but also good blackmail

**lanceylance:** you’re getting sappy for shiro it’s time for you to sleep

**kogayne:** okay but do u want anything from the kitchen, i forgot to ask

**lanceylance:** you texted me,,,, when i could’ve been asleep

**kogayne:** i heard you moving around when i got up but i forgot to ask upstairs, do u want food or not

**lanceylance:** no i don’t

**kogayne:** hey do you wanna come back to my place tomorrow and spend the day with me

**kogayne:** and watch it snow

**kogayne:** and help me decorate the tree

**lanceylance:** you’re such a sap

**lanceylance:** this is the cutest thing i’ve ever read hELL YEAH I’LL COME OVER

**lanceylance:** now pls come back upstairs ur side of the guest bed is COLD and now I’M COLD i want my heater back

**kogayne:** smh is that all i am to u

**lanceylance:** yes absolutely why else do i keep u around ;)

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** i’m comin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo...yeah, it snowed here, the saturday show got cancelled and a large chunk of the cast couldn't do a sunday matinee, so...last night i took my final fall bow. my last fall production with my school. i'm still shook tbh.
> 
> today i was doing christmas decorating with christmas music blasting and i literally burst into tears in the middle of christmas eve/sarajevo 12/24 bc i have a lot of fandom and not-fandom memories attached to it and also i was thinking about sappy christmas klance and???? christmas hasn't felt like christmas for me for a few years, and this is the first time it actually has in a while, so like,,,, idk
> 
> i'm a sappy mess this weekend
> 
> see y'all in the next chapter


	68. saturday snow day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it snows. everyone's having discourse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i roast donald trump several times in this chapter and also i let u guys know where i stand on the fantastic beasts controversy w johnny strepp 
> 
> :P

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** you know what i just realized

 **mattata:** that the snow has trapped me here with u and i can’t escape to my boyfriend or my girlfriend

 **carrierpidgeon:** no

 **carrierpidgeon:** there’s no way aliens are real, roswell was just one big mess, area 51 is not an alien base

 **kogayne:** PIDGE WHAT THE FUCK

 **kogayne:** TAKE IT BACK

 **carrierpidgeon:** HEAR ME OUT

 **carrierpidgeon:** the president is supposed to know if aliens are real, right

 **carrierpidgeon:** like that’s a big secret that they need to know

 **lanceylance:** i think i know where she’s going with this

 **carrierpidgeon:** don’t you think if aliens were real,

 **kogayne:** i’m WAITING HERE PIDGE

 **carrierpidgeon:** president blabbermouth a) would’ve exposed them already and/or b) started an intergalactic war

 **takashmeoutside:** you just crushed the hopes and dreams of every boogara out there, congrats

 **kogayne:** ...WAIT YOU LIED TO ME?? YOU’RE A SHANIAC????

 **takashmeoutside:** ...i said nothing of the sort

 **kogayne:** BETRAYED BY MY OWN COUSIN

 **kogayne:** but anyway, PIDGE, I’VE COME TO COUNTER YOUR CLAIM

 **carrierpidgeon:** i just presented an open and shut case against /myself/ what are you going to do

 **carrierpidgeon:** I WANTED TO BELIEVE TOO, KEITH

 **kogayne:** L I S T E N

 **kogayne:** EVERYONE KNOWS THE MEN IN BLACK ARE THE PEOPLE /REALLY/ IN CHARGE OF THIS ALIEN SHIT

 **kogayne:** AND PRESIDENT BABYHANDS IS INCOMPETENT AS FUCK, HE PROBABLY WAS TOLD ALIENS ARE REAL BC IT’S PROTOCOL AND THEN HAD HIS MIND WIPED, SO TECHNICALLY, HE /KNEW/, HE /WAS TOLD/ AS PROTOCOL WOULD HAVE IT, BUT THE MEN IN BLACK CAME AFTER HIM BC THAT INFO IS TOO SENSITIVE FOR HIM TO REALLY HAVE

 **carrierpidgeon:** SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT

 **carrierpidgeon:** OR THEY THREATENED HIM INTO KEEPING QUIET

 **takashmeoutside:** what would they even threaten him with

 **kogayne:** his money

 **lanceylance:** taking away that small loan of a million dollars

 **hunkerdunker:** taking that awful toupee off his head

 **shayfromstatefarm:** getting rid of whatever spray tan he uses

 **allurable:** releasing his tax returns

 **mattata:** 24 hour marathon roast session on live tv

 **carrierpidgeon:** banning trips to mar a lago till 2018

 **takashmeoutside:** ...you all have made some good points but i still think aliens just don’t exist

 **kogayne:** how are we related

 **takashmeoutside:** i ask myself that every day

 **allurable:** “that’s shirogane’s cousin alright”

 **kogayne:** i don’t see it

 **takashmeoutside:** yeah me neither who even are you

 **kogayne:** idk man how’d you even find me

 **takashmeoutside:** idk how did u get into my house

 **kogayne:** the front door was open now i live here deal with it

 **carrierpidgeon:** matt they’re starting to sound like us

 **mattata:** who are you and why do you know my name

 **hunkerdunker:** is this what it’s like to have siblings

 **lanceylance:** yeah

 **hunkerdunker:** ...what the fuck

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

_(15) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i took a pretty boy outside for a photoshoot

 _(8) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** and i got some shots when he wasn’t looking ;)

 **kogayne:** WRTNYJTHREWAD

 **takashmeoutside:** i can’t tell if you’re flustered or if you’re still shivering too hard to type coherently

 **allurable:** he typed coherently right before that

 **mattata:** Takashi used ROAST! It was super ineffective!

 **mattata:** Allura used CALLOUT! It was super effective!

 **takashmeoutside:** thanks mathematics

 **mattata:** fuck off granola bar

 **allurable:** thank you my love

 **mattata:** you’re welcome princess

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m being double-teamed by my boyfriend and girlfriend what is this nonsense

 **mattata:** actually,

 **carrierpidgeon:** NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

 **carrierpidgeon:** STOP MAKING THIS CHAT DIRTY YOU HEATHENS

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hold on back up can we appreciate keith and lance’s photos here, who did you sell your soul to to get that quality on an iphone

 **kogayne:** it’s a secret

 **lanceylance:** goatman

 **kogayne:** dammit lance

 **shayfromstatefarm:** seriously keith why didn’t you take photography

 **kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i like forensics better

 **kogayne:** besides you need a steady hand if you’re gonna take clean crime scene photos

 **takashmeoutside:** hold on

 **kogayne:** shhhhh

 **lanceylance:** OWO

 **lanceylance:** WHAT’S THIS

 **lanceylance:** DOES DEAR OLD TAKASHI HAVE DIRT ON KEITH WE HAVEN’T HEARD

 **takashmeoutside:** you told me

 **kogayne:** shut up shiro

 **takashmeoutside:** tha the only reason you took forensics

 **hunkerdunker:** if it’s fucking cryptids

 **takashmeoutside:** was to find better ways to look for cryptids

 **lanceylance:** so it wasn’t *fucking* cryptids, just finding them

 **carrierpidgeon:** wretjyuyresftmyrd

 **shayfromstatefarm:** captivating cryptids and where to find them

 **carrierpidgeon:** OH MY GOD NO DO NOT BRING UP THAT MOVIE SERIES, JKR IS DEAD TO ME

 **kogayne:** NO WE’RE NOT DOING MORE HARRY POTTER DISCOURSE IN THE GROUP CHAT I’VE HAD ENOUGH DISCOURSE

 **lanceylance:** DISCOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURSE

 **carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE FEELINGS

 **shayfromstatefarm:** WE ALL DO

 **allurable:** GIVEN OUR FEELINGS ON THE CURRENT COMMANDER IN CHIEF I THINK WE ALL AGREE WITH WHATEVER FEELINGS YOU HAVE ABOUT HARRY POTTER RIGHT NOW

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **lanceylance:** JEREMY

 **allurable:** J-Je-Jeremy?

 **lanceylance:** hewwo? mistew jewemy?

 **carrierpidgeon:** KILL IT WITH FIRE

 **kogayne:** that’s it u fuckin furry i’m breaking up with u

 **lanceylance:** no!! can’t we wowk dis out?

 **kogayne:** NOPE BYE

 **lanceylance:** but keef! i wuv u so much!

 **hunkerdunker:** w h a t  am i reading

 **carrierpidgeon:** MY EYES HAVE SEEN HELL

 **mattata:** what happens when teenagers get trapped inside on a snow day and get deprived of their final day of their play?

 **mattata:** U T T E R  M A D N E S S

 **lanceylance:** keef? whewe did you go??? you’we my boyfwiend, come back!!

 **kogayne:** come outside, lance~

 **carrierpidgeon:** shiro drop whatever you’re doing and videotape whatever’s about to happen

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m on it

 _(1) video from_ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **lanceylance:** life update: i am drenched in snow

 **lanceylance:** fuck u keith

 **kogayne:** :)

 **kogayne:** OH FUEHRTYREW

 _(1) video from_ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** the thrilling sequel

 **kogayne:** fuck u lance

 **lanceylance:** now we’re even

 **kogayne:** um, no,

 **lanceylance:** the fuck do you mean um no

 **kogayne:** i’m not playing to get even, i’m playing to win

 **kogayne:** COME HERE

 **lanceylance:** SHITSHTISHTIISHRHITHSITY

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** :(

 **allurable:** that’s tuesday, isn’t it

 **takashmeoutside:** yeah

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m not ready for it

 **mattata:** is it just you going or is keith skipping school

 **takashmeoutside:** just me

 **takashmeoutside:** he offered to go but i told him his education is more important

 **allurable:** why not go in the afternoon?

 **takashmeoutside:** i just...i’d prefer to do it without him there

 **allurable:** you don’t want him to see you breaking down

 **takashmeoutside:** ...that’s a big part of it, yeah

 **takashmeoutside:** he’s had a lot to deal with lately, i don’t think he needs “stressed shiro” on top of it all

 **mattata:** so you’re just gonna go alone?

 **allurable:** ^^^????

 **takashmeoutside:** that was the plan

 **allurable:** i’ll go with you, you don’t have to go alone

 **mattata:** me too

 **mattata:** your parents were practically our parents

 **takashmeoutside:** i just

 **takashmeoutside:** seven years already

 **takashmeoutside:** it doesn’t feel real

 **takashmeoutside:** i miss them so much

 **mattata:** it’s okay

 **allurable:** we’re here for you

 **mattata:** they’d be proud of how far you’ve come and what you’ve accomplished

 **takashmeoutside:** sometimes it doesn’t feel like much

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m 25 with (3) degrees and working at /target/

 **mattata:** yeah but you’ve also been raising your cousin since he was 11 and you’ve been kicking ass under awful circumstances

 **allurable:** not to mention you’ve come to terms with who you are and who you love and you openly embrace it

 **mattata:** your parents would be  s o  proud of you, kashi

 **allurable:** i know /we/ are

 **takashmeoutside:** :) i love you two

 **allurable:** <3

 **mattata:** <3

 **takashmeoutside:** <3

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** Y’ALL

 **carrierpidgeon:** Fear

 **lanceylance:** I FOUND SOMETHING ON INSTAGRAM

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m also now afraid bc i’ve seen lance’s recommendeds

 **lanceylance:** THAT WAS AFTER KEITH TOOK MY PHONE AND SEARCHED A BUNCH OF SHIT TO MAKE THAT STUFF POP UP EXCUSE YOU

 **kogayne:** :P

 **lanceylance:** ANYWAY

 **lanceylance:** I FOUND A NEW EMOTICON

 **carrierpidgeon:** why god

 **lanceylance:** ‘,:)

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHY GOD

 **lanceylance:** or ,’:) it doesn’t look as good tho

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m going to fling myself out a window

 **hunkerdunker:** i wanna join you

 **carrierpidgeon:** bet let’s go

 **lanceylance:** you all are dead to me

 **carrierpidgeon:** that’s the goal !

 **takashmeoutside:** chill out edgelords, i’ve dealt with enough from keith over the years

 **kogayne:** BOI

 **kogayne:** YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT MY EMO PHASE TILL I EXPOSED MYSELF

 **lanceylance:** all i can think about whenever someone says they’ve exposed themselves is that section in the play

 **shayfromstatefarm:** sit down mcclain

 **lanceylance:** sitting

 **kogayne:** can we talk about how it’s gonna rain on tuesday and it’s gonna wash away all the snow

 **carrierpidgeon:** it’s no longer looking a lot like christmas

 **lanceylance:** this snow got the last night of the show cancelled, and now mother nature has the audacity to wash it all away? the SLANDER! SAD!

 **carrierpidgeon:** nO, WE ARE NOT GOING BACK TO THIS CONVERSATION

 **allurable:** PIDGE START SOME DIFFERENT DISCOURSE

 **carrierpidgeon:** LET’S START PERCY JACKSON DISCOURSE, WHAT’S EVERYONE’S GODLY PARENT

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **carrierpidgeon:** idk whether i’m more athena cabin or hephaestus cabin

 **mattata:** you and i are both hephaestus kids

 **allurable:** nah, matt’s athena, pidge is hephaestus

 **allurable:** have u seen the boy near spiders

 **mattata:** thtrrerkqwkergk i feel so exposed

 **allurable:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **hunkerdunker:** i claim demeter

 **lanceylance:** my killer good looks should immediately put me into the aphrodite cabin, but i clearly am a child of poseidon, because of both my killer good looks /and/ my swimming abilities

 **takashmeoutside:** someone’s full of themselves

 **kogayne:** that’s rich coming from someone clearly in the zeus cabin

 **takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **allurable:** i like to think i’m from the iris cabin

 **shayfromstatefarm:** your aesthetic seems to definitely fit

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’m a hebe kid

 **kogayne:** who

 **shayfromstatefarm:** smh fake fans

 _(1) link from_ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** oh makes sense

 **kogayne:** since i was apparently wrong in my hogwarts sorting where would you guys put me

 **carrierpidgeon:** hades, u fckn edgelord

 **takashmeoutside:** w r o n g

 **takashmeoutside:** nemesis

 **kogayne:** okay even i know that that’s wrong

 **lanceylance:** nike, obviously? doesn’t back down from a challenge??? competitive?????? intense and driven??????????? my boyfriend is the child of a shoe brand

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m not gonna lie i expected lance to put keith in the aphrodite cabin

 **lanceylance:** as tempting as it is to put my attractive boyfriend in the cabin for immensely attractive people, he clearly fits the nike cabin more

 **kogayne:** thank you lance

 **lanceylance:** you’re welcome keith

 **kogayne:** :)

 **lanceylance:** :D

 **carrierpidgeon:** so anyway

 **shayfromstatefarm:** everyone who applied for a job at my uncle’s café, who’s available to start working on monday afternoon? that includes you too, pidge!!

 **kogayne:** i mean i’ve got nothing better to do

 **lanceylance:** ^^^

 **hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^

 **carrierpidgeon:** pidgey is a free elf

 **shayfromstatefarm:** do i allow my uncle to put lance and keith on the same shift

 **takashmeoutside:** if you don’t they’ll hang around like lovestruck puppies and won’t work as hard

 **lanceylance:** we make a good team!!! put us on!!!!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** alright but if u two goof off you’re fired

 **kogayne:** we make the best team, just you wait

 **lanceylance:** JUST YOU WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT

 **allurable:** ALEXANDER HAMILTON

 **mattata:** WE ARE WAITING IN THE WINGS FOR YOU

 **kogayne:**...YOU COULD NEVER BACK DOWN

 **lanceylance:** :D YOU NEVER LEARNED TO TAKE YOUR TIIIIIIIIIIME

 **takashmeoutside:** CAN WE GO ONE DAY WITHOUT SOME SORT OF SINGALONG

 **mattata:** NO

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

_(17) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** photoshoot round 2: boyfriend covers himself in christmas lights, outside, in the cold and snow, purely for the aesthetic

 **kogayne:** he’s beautiful, look at him

 **lanceylance:** WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE CUTE LIKE THIS

 **kogayne:** Loving Lance Hour

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **carrierpidgeon:** THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING CAN YOU TWO TONE DOWN THE SAPPINESS FOR LIKE, ANOTHER WEEK OR TWO AND THEN YOU CAN MCFREAKIN LOSE IT

 **lanceylance:** i want a sequel to that vine when vine 2 comes out

 **hunkerdunker:** the burger king guy

 **shayfromstatefarm:** nah do it in wendy’s, wendy and ron are both redheads

 **carrierpidgeon:** matt and i are going to recreate the krispy kreme vine

 **mattata:** *we are going to get banned from krispy kreme

 **kogayne:** is matt even athletic enough for that

 **mattata:** you fuckin bet i am, just ask shiro and allura

 **carrierpidgeon:** THE FUCK DID I SAY MATTHEW

 **takashmeoutside:** takashi shirogane cannot be reached for comment at this time, please try again later.

 **allurable:** allura altea cannot be reached for comment at this time, please contact her publicist.

 **mattata:** BETRAYAL

 **lanceylance:** HEY YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST THOUGHT OF, HOW ARE WE GONNA GO SHOPPING FOR OUR SECRET SANTA GIFTS

 **lanceylance:** LIKE?

 **kogayne:** ...you drive...t-to the STORE...and you PURCHASE ITEMS…

 **lanceylance:** YEAH BUT SHOPPING BY YOURSELF IS NO FUN BUT YOU CAN’T JUST TELL PEOPLE WHO YOU HAVE FOR YOUR SECRET SANTA BC WHAT IF SOMEONE GETS EXPOSED

 **carrierpidgeon:** SHOP ONLINE?

 **lanceylance:** THAT’S NO FUN, THEN YOU CAN’T HOLD HANDS WITH YOUR S/O AND CLUTCH A HOT DRINK IN A HOLIDAY CUP AND WALK AROUND TO ALL THE STORES WITH THEIR PRETTY LIGHTS AND ACT LIKE TEENAGE GOOFBALLS

 **kogayne:** is this your weird way of asking me on a christmas shopping date

 **lanceylance:** m-maybe

 **takashmeoutside:** yOU TWO ARE IN THE SAME ROOM

 **takashmeoutside:** I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** lance is staying for the night we don’t feel like driving in the snow

 **takashmeoutside:** isn’t your car good in the snow

 **kogayne:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **kogayne:** Let Me Love Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm making the executive decision that seeing as the saturday chapter is going up on a monday night at 8:15 PM i'm not writing a monday chapter, we're jumping right to tuesday
> 
> also in case u missed it i finished the first of the fanfic requests last night  
> [my life, my love, my drive](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12981834) is set 7 years before the start of this fanfic so i dunno, go read it if u want, it's shalluratt :P
> 
> k bye see u in the tuesday chapter


	69. slow tuesday ft. brogangst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the 7 year anniversary of the day shiro buried his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is short, i didn't have a lot of inspiration for it

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** :((((

 **lanceylance:** i almost asked what was wrong before i remembered

 **lanceylance:** you gonna be okay at school today??

 **kogayne:** hhhh i guess

 **kogayne:** i’m more worried about shiro

 **kogayne:** i still wish i was going with him but i’m gonna feel ten times worse if i do

 **lanceylance:** it’s okay

 **lanceylance:** he doesn’t hold it against you that you’re not going

 **lanceylance:** he told u not to, after all

 **kogayne:** i know

 **kogayne:** i still feel BAD though

 **kogayne:** they were his parents but they were my aunt and uncle and they took me in

 **kogayne:** and their death is the only reason shiro took me in

 **kogayne:** i just

 **kogayne:** i feel like i’m dissing their memory by not going

 **lanceylance:** ...maybe you don’t have to go with shiro

 **lanceylance:** why not go after school?

 **kogayne:** i don’t know

 **kogayne:** we’re gonna have to get to the café and idk,,,

 **kogayne:** like

 **kogayne:** i know when i visit my dad’s grave i feel like shit afterward, and he wasn’t around for that long

 **kogayne:** i lived with my aunt and uncle for a lot longer so

 **kogayne:** ugh i hate this i hate it so much

 **lanceylance:** you don’t have to go if you don’t want to

 **lanceylance:** all i’m saying is, if you end up wanting to, you still can, you just don’t have to with shiro

 **lanceylance:** and it’s not like you’d be going alone

 **lanceylance:** i’d go with you if you wanted

 **kogayne:** i’m not gonna make u go to a graveyard with me two weeks before christmas

 **lanceylance:** dude,

 **kogayne:** :( i know

 **lanceylance:** whatever you decide, i support u

 **kogayne:** if i need space,,,,

 **lanceylance:** u got it

 **lanceylance:** whatever u need, i got u

 **kogayne:** i don’t deserve u

 **lanceylance:** shhh yes u do, i know for a fact you’d do the same for me

 **lanceylance:** u deserve the world

 **kogayne:** can u pick me up

 **lanceylance:** of course

 **lanceylance:** i’ll be there in 10

 

 ** _lanceylance_** _added_ ** _mattata_** _,_ ** _allurable_** _,_ ** _carrierpidgeon_** _,_ ** _hunkerdunker_** _,_ _and_ ** _shayfromstatefarm_** _to_ ** _Brogane Defense Squad_**

 **lanceylance:** i’m pretty sure matt and allura and probably pidge are already know but today’s the anniversary of the funerals so like, be nice to the broganes today

 **lanceylance:** please

 **carrierpidgeon:** damn it’s been 7 years already

 **mattata:** i still remember that day

 **allurable:** me too

 **mattata:** that was,,, a rough time

 **allurable:** yeah

 **hunkerdunker:** ...wait isn’t keith in school? i swear you two walked in together this morning

 **lanceylance:** yeah, he is

 **lanceylance:** don’t question it

 **hunkerdunker:** okay

 **shayfromstatefarm:** if there’s anything we can do for them, let us know

 **lanceylance:** will do

 **mattata:** allura and i are going with shiro today, we’ll give updates as necessary

 **allurable:** ^^^ we’re giving them all the space and support they need

 

**_STOP CAPTAIN DOOFUS 2K17_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so, like, do we even bother with the main gc today

 **carrierpidgeon:** do we keep it to the brogane chat

 **carrierpidgeon:** do we make a chat just without shiro

 **carrierpidgeon:** bc obviously we’re not gonna blow up his phone while he’s at a graveyard grieving his parents

 **carrierpidgeon:** ...in which case do we just keep it here, bc matt and allura are with him?? do we move to the high school chat and keep keith in the loop?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** easy there pidge

 **carrierpidgeon:** well i don’t wanna be like, sending memes and stuff while they’re suffering

 **lanceylance:** i think it’s best we just stay here for now

 **lanceylance:** i’ve got my eye on keith

 **lanceylance:** if he wants to talk, i’m sure he’ll end up texting the high school chat

 **lanceylance:** if shiro wants to talk, he’ll show up in one of the group chats

 **shayfromstatefarm:** well-said

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ doin my best

 

**_mattata > takashmeoutside_ **

**mattata:** hey

 **mattata:** i’m leaving my house now, i should be over in like, five minutes

 **takashmeoutside:** okay

 **mattata:** how you holdin up this morning?

 **takashmeoutside:** ...i’m alright, i guess

 **takashmeoutside:** it’s...this day is always weird

 **takashmeoutside:** and i already know i’m going to be out of it later, but there’s nothing i can /do/ about it

 **mattata:** it’ll be okay

 **mattata:** you’ve got me, you’ve got allura, you’ve got everyone else

 **mattata:** we’re /here/ for you

 **mattata:** always have been, always will be

 **takashmeoutside:** thanks, matt

 **takashmeoutside:** i’ve...been kinda reflective the past couple hours

 **takashmeoutside:** i wanted to say thanks, for not dropping me when we broke up

 **takashmeoutside:** you didn’t need to stick around, especially not after how i treated you

 **takashmeoutside:** but you did

 **mattata:** it’s called love, takashi, get with the program

 **mattata:** (i’m just kidding)

 **mattata:** (...okay sort of)

 **mattata:** (i love you)

 **takashmeoutside:** i love you too

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so it was...something

 **kogayne:** how you feelin?

 **takashmeoutside:** could be better

 **kogayne:** yeah, me too

 **takashmeoutside:** what period?

 **kogayne:** 5, i can’t focus on circuits for more than two minutes before my mind starts wandering

 **kogayne:** i still remember the funeral

 **kogayne:** they weren’t my parents but they might as well have been

 **kogayne:** i wish i’d gone

 **takashmeoutside:** no, you don’t

 **takashmeoutside:** it’s muddy and gross and freezing out

 **kogayne:** nah, i still wish i went

 **kogayne:** i’m thinking of asking shay to find someone to cover for me so i can go after school

 **takashmeoutside:** did shay put you on today?

 **kogayne:** i think so?

 **takashmeoutside:** double-check

 **kogayne:** alright

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** hey, shay, who’s on schedule today?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we put hunk, lance, and pidge on today

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i took you off

 **lanceylance:** i forgot to tell u

 **lanceylance:** sorry

 **kogayne:** oh

 **kogayne:** it’s okay

 **kogayne:** thanks

 **carrierpidgeon:** how you doin, mothman

 **kogayne:** ...can’t focus much tbh

 **kogayne:** wish i’d gone with shiro

 **carrierpidgeon:** :( i’m sorry man

 **hunkerdunker:** ^^^

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** can you just drop me at home after school?

 **lanceylance:** yeah, sure

 **lanceylance:** are you gonna go to the cemetery

 **kogayne:** probably

 **kogayne:** it’s...something i need to do alone

 **kogayne:** pls don’t take it personally

 **lanceylance:** i won’t

 **lanceylance:** i love you

 **lanceylance:** you’re strong and i hope you know that

 **kogayne:** <3

 

**_Brogane Defense Squad_ **

**allurable:** shiro is emotionally out of commission, how’s keith

 **lanceylance:** distant

 **lanceylance:** quiet

 **lanceylance:** i think he and shiro need time together to process

 **mattata:** yeah, i’m getting that sense

 **shayfromstatefarm:** so we’re staying in this group chat for the rest of the day then

 **carrierpidgeon:** looks like it

 **lanceylance:** i wouldn’t even speak in the other group chat tomorrow until they do

 **hunkerdunker:** ^^^^ this might take a few days of recovery

 **shayfromstatefarm:** is everyone ready to be on emotional standby

 **allurable:** been here for a while now

 **mattata:** ^

 **lanceylance:** ^^

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** you’re right, this is awful

 **takashmeoutside:** i told you

 **kogayne:** i’m coming home

 **takashmeoutside:** you really didn’t have to go

 **kogayne:** yes, i did

 **kogayne:** they took me in

 **takashmeoutside:** i get it

 **kogayne:** yeah

 **kogayne:** and uh

 **takashmeoutside:** i know

 **kogayne:** let me say it

 **kogayne:** thank you

 **kogayne:** i say it a lot lately but i don’t know where i’d be if you gave up on everything and just let the state take me

 **kogayne:** i genuinely appreciate the sacrifices you made

 **takashmeoutside:** and i’d do it all over again

 **takashmeoutside:** wanna do a movie marathon?

 **kogayne:** yeah, that sounds good

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** pssst, kashi

 **allurable:** we love u

 **mattata:** a whole lot

 **allurable:** you’re one of the strongest people we know

 **mattata:** you’ve gone through things no person should

 **allurable:** <3333

 **mattata:** <3333

 **takashmeoutside:** thank you two, for being here

 **takashmeoutside:** <3

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

_(1) link from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** idk what ur mental state is at this moment but here’s a vine compilation in case u need it, i almost broke a rib laughing at this one

 **lanceylance:** i love u, good night

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like, i'm debating whether to keep writing this every day, or write this every other day, bc i've been exhausted bc of school lately and been falling behind on this, and some days i just don't have the inspiration to do a chapter
> 
> like this is going up on a wednesday, but this is the tuesday chapter. i wasn't gonna write a wednesday chapter, but then something ridiculous happened in yearbook that i'll elaborate on in the next chapter when it goes up, but like,,,
> 
> what do u guys think
> 
> ("GET SOME SLEEP, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, _TAKE A BREAK_ " you all scream, and then we burst into song)
> 
> see ya in the next one


	70. this chapter is so sappy omfg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this ended up being mostly sappy klance idk what happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you know you all are gems and i don't deserve u guys
> 
> more stuff in the ending note
> 
>  
> 
> **just a warning early on in this chapter there are n*zi mentions bc the characters briefly discuss wwii bc someone in my yearbook class was being so ridiculous i wanted to bash my head into a wall, i literally texted my mom like "mom i'm gonna cry i can't take these kids anymore" but anyway**

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** we’ve missed several days of gratitudes so i’m starting them early this morning, i’m grateful for all of you, for being a great support network

**lanceylance:** !!!

**lanceylance:** i’m grateful that we’re doing this now so we don’t forget and also i’m grateful that even tho the show was only two days, they were a great two days

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i’m grateful that all my tests and quizzes this week have been cancelled in preparation for the holidays

**lanceylance:** we still have one more week after this tho?

**carrierpidgeon:** shhhh don’t question it

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful that it’s already wednesday and i finished all of my homework so now my study hall is free for me to do whatever

**shayfromstatefarm:** unless someone else assigns homework before then

**hunkerdunker:** [long sigh] ryner

**shayfromstatefarm:** ryner

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m grateful that the stuff we’re doing is relatively easy for me

**kogayne:** must be nice

**lanceylance:** [distant muffled screaming]

**kogayne:** anyway KEEP GOING WHERE IS SHALLURATT

**takashmeoutside:** hello

**takashmeoutside:** i’m gonna piggyback on keith’s and be grateful for this support network, and also grateful that i’ve come out on the other side of everything with no regrets

**allurable:** i’m grateful that we’ve all been such a solid group for so long and that we’ve all made it this far

**mattata:** i’m grateful that it’s pasta night at the holt house

**kogayne:** what a way to finish out, thank you for your contribution

**carrierpidgeon:** PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** so who’s tryna slide me an invite for pasta night

**mattata:** the parental units approve of everyone in this group chat dropping by if they so desire

**lanceylance:** NICE

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** update i hate everyone in this school i’m going to cry why are people like this

**kogayne:** whO HURT YOU

**lanceylance:** “what was the n*zi army called? was it called the soviet union?” “who did the n*zis kill?” “were they white?” “wait then where was the soviet union?”

**lanceylance:** i am going to THROW MYSELF OUT A WINDOW

**carrierpidgeon:** EXPOSE THEM

**lanceylance:** gfrbenthetg i don’t even know!! they were two seniors in my spanish class!! i’m not friends with them or anything!!! but HOLY SHIT!!! one of them sat on my left and the other sat on my right and they wOULDN’T STOP it just progressively got worse

**hunkerdunker:** my brain is crying

**lanceylance:** HOW can you get to be a SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL and know NOTHING about world war ii!!! WE COVERED IT IN HISTORY LAST YEAR

**lanceylance:** L A S T  Y E A R

**shayfromstatefarm:** how did you not blow a fuse

**lanceylance:** patience yields focus

**takashmeoutside:** why do you children summon me

**kogayne:** shiro has a chant to summon him, demon confirmed

**carrierpidgeon:** do we do one demon ep per season or more

**kogayne:** come at me

**kogayne:** hEY THERE DEMONS, IT’S ME, YA BOI

**lanceylance:** DO NOT SUMMON EVIL SPIRITS JESUS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** tfw you’re both boogaras but one of you is also shane

**lanceylance:** he’s the most shaniac-like boogara i’ve ever met and then some days it’s like he /is/ ryan bergara

**kogayne:** :P

**allurable:** i just caught up to the chat and my brain is also now crying

**allurable:** have they not been paying attention to current events where people have been called n*zis for their ideals

**lanceylance:** apparently  not

**lanceylance:** idk the whole thing made me wanna bash my head into a wall

**lanceylance:** still contemplating it tbh

**kogayne:** don’t bash ur head into a wall

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** reason #344654356578646 why i don’t miss high school

**allurable:** who keysmashes on the number keyboard

**mattata:** the teenager posts accounts

**carrierpidgeon:** nah i don’t think they keysmash i think they just select numbers at random

**carrierpidgeon:** there are up to like, what, 5? random number choosing, not keysmashing

**mattata:** selective keysmashing

**allurable:** “selective keysmashing”?

**takashmeoutside:** valid

**allurable:** invalid??????

**hunkerdunker:** i am so very glad that this is the conversation we’re having second period on this wonderful wednesday

**mattata:** honestly what would you Teens do without us

**carrierpidgeon:** rejoice, bc there’s no one around to bust us when we do things

**takashmeoutside:** you forget you’re talking to matt, anything you do, he’s probably done

**mattata:** lemme know when you fuck up a frat party with nothing more than ur superior intellect and a laptop, then we’ll talk about trouble

**allurable:** *superior intellect, laptop, and allura watching your back

**kogayne:** oh?

**allurable:** we’ll save that one for when you actually go off to college and go to frat parties

**kogayne:** smh i’m never hearing this story then

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^

**allurable:** oh?

**kogayne:** not interested in going

**kogayne:** drunk college kids and weird boys? not my type

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^^^!!!!!!!

**allurable:** ah

**allurable:** then when u get into the garrison and are ready to go off i’ll tell it

**allurable:** pidge, you’ve gotta wait another two years

**carrierpidgeon:** DAMMIT

**kogayne:** shh i’ve got u covered

**carrierpidgeon:** THANKS MY GUY

**kogayne:** NO PROBLEM MY GAL

**allurable:** how dare

**kogayne:** FIGHT THE POWER

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** you okay?

**kogayne:** yeah why?

**lanceylance:** [gestures wildly to the main group chat]

**kogayne:** oh that

**kogayne:** yeah i’m,,, i’m good on that topic right now

**kogayne:** i just have no plans to go to frat parties in colleges

**kogayne:** i mean, even before the Thing i had no inclination but now it’s like ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** i mean if u wanna go to frat parties when we hit college by all means go ahead but i’ll be chilling out in the dorms

**lanceylance:** yeah, no, i get it

**lanceylance:** i just wanted to check up on you

**lanceylance:** especially given yesterday and also bc i don’t see ur cute face for 2 more periods

**kogayne:** yeah, i’m okay

**kogayne:** i miss ur pretty face

**lanceylance:** MFGMFDFHGN

**lanceylance:** I

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** can i let u in on like, an important secret

**kogayne:** no

**lanceylance:** fuck u

**kogayne:** :P go for it

**lanceylance:** ur the first person i’ve let call me pretty

**lanceylance:** i never liked it till we started dating

**kogayne:** WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING

**lanceylance:** I LIKED IT WHEN YOU SAID IT

**kogayne:** ??????

**lanceylance:** okay so like

**lanceylance:** when i first came out

**lanceylance:** people would call me pretty boy like, to mock me, make me feel emasculated or something ridiculous like that

**lanceylance:** and it was weird and made me really uncomf

**lanceylance:** but then when we started dating we were already friends and we like, knew abt each others’ problems to a degree but i didn’t think it was like, super important to mention it

**lanceylance:** so the first time u said it i was like “oh?” and then i was like “wait he means it to be cute fUCK WHY IS HE LIKE THIS”

**lanceylance:** it’s like u and being called cute

**kogayne:** i see

**kogayne:** so what ur trying to say here is: it is 100% okay to keep telling u ur pretty

**lanceylance:** shower me in affection, knife boy

**kogayne:** alrighty then starboy, most beautiful boy in the universe

**lanceylance:** i’m blushing so hard rn just so u know

**kogayne:** :)

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** out of curiosity what’s everyone’s favorite type of chocolate

**mattata:** HERE WE GO WITH THE DISCOURSE

**takashmeoutside:** this question has the ability to end friendships

**allurable:** okay, who’s the first victim

**takashmeoutside:** what are our choices here

**carrierpidgeon:** white milk or dark

**takashmeoutside:** milk. done. next.

**mattata:** ^^^ i’m with the boyfriend

**hunkerdunker:** i have to respectfully disagree, dark chocolate is the supreme chocolate

**allurable:** ^^^ healthiest for you, too

**lanceylance:** ^^^^!!!! tho milk chocolate isn’t terrible, i won’t unfriend matt and shiro over that

**shayfromstatefarm:** team dark!

**carrierpidgeon:** wtf??? white chocolate is the best tho??

**lanceylance:** what the FUCK pidge

**hunkerdunker:** i am INSULTED

**carrierpidgeon:** LISTEN if it’s any consolation dark is my second fave

**lanceylance:** yeah, out of THREE OPTIONS

**shayfromstatefarm:** HOW do you go from SUGARY CHOCOLATE IMPOSTOR to BITTER CHOCOLATE OF HAPPINESS

**carrierpidgeon:** bc i can

**lanceylance:** I DON’T TRUST PEOPLE WHO LIKE WHITE CHOCOLATE GURL BYE

**kogayne:** …[whistles and walks out]

**lanceylance:** BACK THE FUCK UP MULLET, WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT

**kogayne:** i like white chocolate best

**lanceylance:** W H A T  T H E  F U C K

**lanceylance:** I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED

**takashmeoutside:** disowned

**carrierpidgeon:** keith and i can go live in a tree house which is cover for a super top secret cryptid-hunting base it’s fine

**kogayne:** gonna go find an alien who appreciates my love for white chocolate fuck u all

**lanceylance:** BOI BYE TAKE UR WHITE CHOCOLATE LOVING BUTT OUTTA HERE

**kogayne:** can’t wait for the moment u come cRAWLING BACK TO ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** 4, 3, 2…

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**kogayne:** ;)

**allurable:** pidge why did u start this discourse

**carrierpidgeon:** scientific reasons

**shayfromstatefarm:** so it has absolutely nothing to do with a certain holiday that’s coming up in less than two weeks where people exchange gifts, the same holiday in which chocolate is more than acceptable to present as one such gift

**carrierpidgeon:** nOPE NOT AT ALL

**allurable:** mmmhmmmmmmmmm [squints]

**carrierpidgeon:** STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT

 

**_< 3_ **

**mattata:** how’s the most beautiful man in the world doing today

**takashmeoutside:** i dunno, how are u

**allurable:** stop stealing ur pickup lines from the internet u fkcing nerds

**mattata:** :P

**mattata:** but seriously how are u kashi

**takashmeoutside:** doing good

**takashmeoutside:** now how are /you two/

**allurable:** shhhhh you are the one who needs attention

**takashmeoutside:** no i don’t hOW ARE YOU TWO

**allurable:** I’M GOOD

**mattata:** JUST PEACHY

**mattata:** ARE YOU BUSY RIGHT NOW

**takashmeoutside:** I DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING TILL MY SHIFT TONIGHT WHY

**mattata:** BET I’M COMING OVER

**allurable:** SO AM I

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE YOU BOTH COMING OVER

**allurable:** QUALITY CUDDLE TIME

**mattata:** WORST COOKS IN AMERICA MARATHON

**takashmeoutside:** YOU TWO I SWEAR

**allurable:** LOVE YOUUUU

**mattata:** ^^^^

**takashmeoutside:** :D

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** it’s wednesday, you know what that means???

**lanceylance:** ...study hall?

**kogayne:** STUDY HALL YEAH

**kogayne:** can i sleep on u again

**lanceylance:** ofc

**lanceylance:** no promises i stay awake tho

**kogayne:** fine by me, i just wanna be with u

**lanceylance:** UR SUCH A SAP 

**kogayne:** YEAH BUT I’M YOUR SAP

**lanceylance:** you are,,,,,

**lanceylance:** i can’t even put into words what i feel right now i feel like my chest is gonna explode w how warm and fuzzy it is, i just wanna be with u too,,, wHAT THE FUCK I’M TEARING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS

**kogayne:** we’ll be reunited soon, just one more period

**lanceylance:** see you soon, starlight, cutest boy in the infinite galaxies, light of my life,

**kogayne:** ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY TOO

**lanceylance:** IF I GO DOWN I’M TAKING YOU WITH ME

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**hunkerdunker:** it is my Third day of this job and i already Hate Customer Service

**mattata:** welcome to my world

**takashmeoutside:** ^^^

**allurable:** oooh what’s up

**hunkerdunker:** lance shay and i are the only ones on right now and customers are being RUDE they WON’T SHUT UP LIKE WE’RE DOING THINGS AS FAST AS WE CAN

**allurable:** so why are you on your phone right now

**hunkerdunker:** we hit a lull between high school getting out and elementary getting out

**allurable:** wait so ur rude customers were high schoolers

**hunkerdunker:** are you surprised

**kogayne:** that’s it i’m putting on an apron

**kogayne:** i gotta make up for yesterday anyway

**shayfromstatefarm:** >:( you were GRIEVING

**kogayne:** yes and now i’m not, i’m coming in there before exhausted parents walk in with screaming children

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah and i’m content to continue doing my homework in this corner

**carrierpidgeon:** oH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

**carrierpidgeon:** SOMEONE COME GET LANCE HE’S STOPPED WORKING

**takashmeoutside:** ...did keith put his hair up

**carrierpidgeon:** THE FUCK DO YOU THINK, SHIRO

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** get ur act together mcclain, customers are coming

**lanceylance:** KEITH IT’S GO TIME

**kogayne:** GOOD TEAM

**lanceylance:** BEST TEAM

**carrierpidgeon:** [headdesk]

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** that shift

**lanceylance:** [collapses]

**shayfromstatefarm:** chins up, let’s do gratitudes

**kogayne:** good idea

**kogayne:** you wanna start?

**shayfromstatefarm:** sure

**shayfromstatefarm:** today i’m grateful for the week officially being half over

**carrierpidgeon:** BIG MOOD THE WEEKEND CAN’T COME SOON ENOUGH

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m grateful for PASTA NIIIIIGHT

**mattata:** PIDGE TOOK MINE SO LIKE UH

**mattata:** i love my bf and gf and i’m glad we can all roast food network shows together

**takashmeoutside:** i’m grateful that they’re both stubborn and rise up when i fall short

**mattata:** <333

**allurable:** ;D

**allurable:** i’m grateful that i’ve finally figured out something that’s been bugging me for a while

**mattata:** ...what?

**takashmeoutside:** ...wait what?

**carrierpidgeon:** ??????????????????????????????

**allurable:** shh i’ll let u guys know more later

**allurable:** continue on with gratitudes

**hunkerdunker:** ?? okay then

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful that the last customer i served tipped me, what a nice old lady, i hope she has a nice night

**lanceylance:** i’m grateful that the shift from hell is over

**kogayne:** aaaand i guess i’m closing out? i’m grateful that today was pretty relaxing, minus work

**kogayne:** a good day to recover

**carrierpidgeon:** YE GRATITUDES

**carrierpidgeon:** alright so is everyone coming over soon bc i want this pasta asap

**mattata:** i’ll be returning w shiro shortly

**allurable:** i gotta stop by my house first then i’ll be over

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m leaving now

**hunkerdunker:** ^

**lanceylance:** be there soon i gotta do a couple things first

**kogayne:** i’ll be over asap i’m gonna stop home first

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna be a little shit and start sending u texts while ur sleeping so u have something nice to wake up to

**lanceylance:** just to get back at u for making me FEEL THINGS in my HEART and making me CRY IN CLASS

**lanceylance:** you are perfect

**lanceylance:** i wanted to tell you that

**lanceylance:** i don’t mean it in the sense that you’re flawless, but in the sense that i love every single thing about you

**lanceylance:** you make me so much happier than anyone else does

**lanceylance:** even on your bad days when you think i don’t wanna “deal with” you

**lanceylance:** even on the days u distance yourself from everyone

**lanceylance:** dammit i’m crying that was not the goal of these texts

**lanceylance:** i love you

**lanceylance:** some people say that if you say “i love you” too much then it loses all meaning but personally i think being able to say it as often as possible is powerful

**lanceylance:** there’s a lot of shit going on in the world and you’re one of the brightest spots, and i want you to know that every way, every chance i get

**lanceylance:** i don’t wanna wait

**lanceylance:** as soon as i’m 18 i wanna run away with you

**lanceylance:** and maybe it’s just sleep deprivation talking or maybe it’s that thing where you spill your deepest feelings in the middle of the night, but it’s true

**lanceylance:** if we could run away together now, i’m not sure i could stop myself

**lanceylance:** but i also want u to be comfortable

**lanceylance:** i would wait a thousand years for you

**lanceylance:** we can move as slow or fast as you want

**lanceylance:** i just know

**lanceylance:** i love you and want you with every fiber of my being

**lanceylance:** that’s all i’ve got for now, i’m crying too hard to properly see my phone screen now

**lanceylance:** i love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ridiculous amount of klance in this chapter was brought to you by me listening to my klance playlist at 12:30 AM and crying, like full-on, tears down my face crying
> 
> i love them so much but ANYWAY
> 
> HERE'S THE GAME PLAN, HUDDLE UP TEAM  
> i'm gonna try and do like, a chapter either a) every other day or b) as often as something interesting happens or i have the inspiration, and lately i've been shooting for 2k minimum per chapter, but i'm lowering it to at least 1k. hopefully in a week and a half when christmas break rolls around, i can get more stuff out. i'm also stepping back a bit from this because i wanna a) finish stars go down by february and b) work on those fic requests.
> 
> SO YEAH, SEE YA WHENEVER THE NEXT ONE GOES UP, I LOVE ALL OF YOU YOU ARE ALL ANGELS


	71. this is so full of klance it wasn't supposed to bE LIKE THIS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a delayed opening; klance is sappy as hell; allura has an announcement; other stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i'm gonna take a break and space out chapters" i say as i upload for the third day in a row
> 
> my brain is doin me so dirty
> 
> also there are gratuitous amounts of klance, this chapter is mostly them being soft and in love, idk why my brain's been on like, SUPREME KLANCE MODE the past few days, i've been living and breathing this ship, sEND HELP
> 
> anyway we had a delayed opening today and tomorrow's a half day so these past two days of school have been a waste, basically
> 
> (also everyone who commented that white chocolate is their fave: as a rep of Team Dark Chocolate, Meet Me In The Pit)

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**kogayne:** I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE

**takashmeoutside:** are you okay?? 

**kogayne:** I CAN’T

_ (4) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** HE’S TOO GOOD FOR ME WHY IS HE LIKE THIS

**kogayne:** I WENT TO CHECK MY PHONE TO SEE IF WE HAD A DELAY AND THEN???  W H Y

**takashmeoutside:** why are u coming to me with ur crisis

**kogayne:** THIS BOY IS THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** so are you gonna text him back or what

**kogayne:** WHAT DO I EVEN SAY, HOW DO I TOP THAT

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t think he’s asking you to top it

**takashmeoutside:** tbh i’m sure he’d understand if u just started screaming

**kogayne:** i love him so much shiro it  h u r t s

**takashmeoutside:** SO WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME

**takashmeoutside:** / T E L L  H I M / 

**kogayne:**  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** lance,

**lanceylance:** yes, mi universo?

**kogayne:** wHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** YOU CAN’T /DO THIS TO ME/

**lanceylance:** whatever do you mean, light of my life,

**kogayne:** I GO TO CHECK IF WE HAVE A DELAY AND THEN I WAKE UP TO ALL OF THIS AND I CAN’T GO BACK TO SLEEP BECAUSE /HOLY SHIT/

**kogayne:** I

**kogayne:** I CAN’T 

**kogayne:** you are

**kogayne:** the BEST THING that’s ever happened to me and if yOU KEEP TALKING LIKE THIS THEN I WON’T BE ABLE TO STOP MYSELF EITHER, I WOULD RUN AWAY WITH YOU IF YOU ASKED

**lanceylance:** so what if we did

**lanceylance:** once we’re 18, we don’t need parental consent to get married

**lanceylance:** so, /what if/ we got married like, legally, and then just /waited/ to have a ceremony

**lanceylance:** a romeo and juliet where no one dies and they actually know what they’re doing

**lanceylance:** and i mean, we have time to think on it, bc my birthday isn’t till july

**lanceylance:** all i’m saying is, if you’re still down for it by july,

**lanceylance:** i would do it

**kogayne:** trhrthtykjygfasfdrsgg

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna rush

**lanceylance:** and i won’t rush you

**kogayne:** but

**kogayne:** i would do it

**kogayne:** if we’re both certain in july, 100% certain that we’re spending the rest of our lives together, i would do it

**lanceylance:** i’m 100% certain right now

**kogayne:** me too

**kogayne:** but you never know what’ll happen between now and then

**lanceylance:** [takes ur face in my hands]

**lanceylance:** boi,

**kogayne:** CAUTION

**lanceylance:** i know

**kogayne:** you’re certain? we’re not gonna get to college and you’re gonna decide that someone there is better than me?

**lanceylance:** you’re the only one i want

**lanceylance:** you /always/ will be the only one

**kogayne:** us against the world

**lanceylance:** you know it  <3

**lanceylance:** am i picking u up

**kogayne:** nah, my car is better in the snow, i’ll come get you

**lanceylance:** im putting together a mobile order for dunks now, you want the usual

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** i’ll get you first then we’ll go pick it up

**lanceylance:** i’ll submit when you get here

**kogayne:** alright, i’ll leave my house at like, 9

**lanceylance:** prince lanceylance will be awaiting his knight in dented armor  <3

**kogayne:** so we’ve decided i’m a knight now?

**lanceylance:** yes. you, sir, are a vigilante knight doing good where he can. occasionally, you rail against the crown. the king looks down upon you, and insists his son, the handsome prince lanceylance, marry another prince or princess to secure an alliance with the neighboring kingdom 

**kogayne:** did you write a whole backstory for this

**lanceylance:** yes now shhh im not done

**lanceylance:** one day, prince lanceylance is riding his horse when he is ATTACKED by those seeking to eliminate him, heir to the throne

**lanceylance:** he is saved by this masked knight, who’s been smitten with the prince for some time! the prince falls in love with the masked do-gooder, and once he sees that his knight is HOT AS FUCK, and a wonderful person at heart, they engage in a secret romance, until the king is ASSASSINATED, and prince lanceylance ascends the throne!! his first order is to pardon his knight, loved by many, hated by the scum of the earth, and appoints his knight not only as his personal guard,

**kogayne:** oh my god

**lanceylance:** but as his husband. they get married and smooch and live happily ever after, the end.

**kogayne:** write a children’s book

**lanceylance:** bet

**lanceylance:** ...now i really wanna do a photoshoot w u

**lanceylance:** it gives me an excuse to dress up in a crown and cape and gives me another excuse to kiss u

**kogayne:** i have an excuse to carry around a giant knife

**lanceylance:** u mean a sword

**kogayne:** giant knife

**lanceylance:** smh 

**kogayne:** anyway this photoshoot idea...i’ll keep that in mind

**lanceylance:** do it when we get a really good snow

**lanceylance:** none of this 3 inch stuff

**lanceylance:** do it when we get full ground coverage and everything is pretty

**kogayne:** still not as pretty as u tho

**lanceylance:** trytrhetytdf FUCKER

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**allurable:** y’all i’ve got an announcement

**kogayne:** what is it

**mattata:** lura?

**takashmeoutside:** ally?

**kogayne:** oh my god u two have nicknames for her why have i never heard these

**takashmeoutside:** ignorance

**mattata:** hush u and lance are always ridiculous w ur nicknames let us live

**shayfromstatefarm:** allura what’s this announcement

**allurable:** i’m going back to school to get a teaching degree in civics!!

**mattata:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** THAT’S OUR GIRLFRIEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** THAT’S SO COOL OH MY GOD

**carrierpidgeon:** how did you come to this decision

**carrierpidgeon:** and i’m gonna guess you’re teaching high school??

**allurable:** yep!!

**allurable:** all the bs that’s been going on at ur school and what’s been going on in the government at large has motivated me, and my background in law’s gonna help a bunch

**allurable:** may as well pass my knowledge on to the younger generation

**mattata:** YES LURA GET EM

**allurable:** i’m mostly gonna be taking night classes but i’m taking day ones when i can 

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU CAN DO IT

**allurable:** oh i know i can

**takashmeoutside:** i’m proud of you

**mattata:** me too

**allurable:** :)

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey, babe,

**kogayne:** yeah?

**lanceylance:** you free this saturday?

**kogayne:** should be, aside from our shift at bb, why

**lanceylance:** can u come dildo shopping with me

**kogayne:** um

**kogayne:** i love you, you know i do, and you know i want you just as much as you want me, but,

**kogayne:** considering we’ve never /actually/ fucked,

**lanceylance:** what????

**kogayne:** i am not comfortable w using a dildo

**lanceylance:** hOLY SHIT 

**lanceylance:** OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T OPEN THIS PROPERLY

**lanceylance:** KEITH IT’S NOT FOR US

**lanceylance:** i’m matt’s person for the secret santa, so i figured part of his gift would be a dildo, just to throw his joke back in his face

**kogayne:** OH 

**lanceylance:** babe i’m so sorry

**lanceylance:** listen, if i wanted to get one for u or for /us/ i would’ve talked to you first, /especially/ given we haven’t actually fucked 

**kogayne:** it’s okay

**kogayne:** /holy shit/

**lanceylance:** sooo

**kogayne:** my question is why do we need to /go shopping/, why not order it online

**lanceylance:** bc then it either shows up at my house, where someone has a chance of getting to it before me, or it shows up at /your house/, and if shiro finds it that’s gonna lead to an awkward conversation

**kogayne:** u right

**lanceylance:** and i,,,, don’t wanna shop for it alone

**kogayne:** makes sense

**kogayne:** yeah, i’ll go with you

**lanceylance:** the worst-case scenario here is that we run into /matt/ shopping for whoever his secret santa is

**kogayne:** ...i /really/ hope it’s not one of us

**lanceylance:** sO THEN YOU DON’T HAVE ME

**kogayne:** I NEVER SAID THAT

**lanceylance:** own up kogane, who’s your person

**kogayne:** i got allura, and NO, I AM NOT GETTING HER A DILDO

**lanceylance:** I WASN’T GONNA ASK

**kogayne:** BUT YOU THOUGHT IT

**lanceylance:** NO??

**kogayne:** [squints]

**lanceylance:** SO ANYWAY, saturday?

**kogayne:** i can’t believe we’re going on this date

**lanceylance:** the peak of modern romance

**kogayne:** i think the fuck not

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** this shift is kicking my ass

**hunkerdunker:** i thought that customer was going to kick my ass

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on at bb

**hunkerdunker:** dude in his 40s walks in with a more complicated coffee order than i’ve ever heard anyone get at starbucks, like ever, and i fucked up just a little bit and he went off on me

**shayfromstatefarm:** he was threatened with security and promptly left with his coffee

**hunkerdunker:** on the bright side the woman who came in after him tipped me extra but like,,,

**hunkerdunker:** I Love Verbal Abuse A Week And A Half Before Christmas

**carrierpidgeon:** by fall out boy

**mattata:** ft. panic! at the disco

**kogayne:** w guests mcr

**carrierpidgeon:** EMO KEITH

**mattata:** MCR IS DEAD AND HAS BEEN FOR A FEW YEARS NOW

**kogayne:** THEY’RE ALIVE IN MY HEART

**mattata:** lance come get ur boi

**lanceylance:** LET HIM LIVE I LOVE MY EMO BOYFRIEND

**kogayne:** >:)

**takashmeoutside:** smh

**shayfromstatefarm:** alright kids put your phones down we’ve gotta finish out this shift

**kogayne:** ugh

**lanceylance:** think of the Money

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^^^^ employee discount coffee

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** WE’RE FREE, IT’S TIME FOR GRATITUDES

**kogayne:** SOMEONE ELSE GO FIRST

**takashmeoutside:** i’m grateful that tomorrow is friday which means my shortest shift of the week

**carrierpidgeon:** tomorrow’s a half day at school and so is next week

**lanceylance:** y’all should be saving these tomorrow gratitudes for tomorrow

**lanceylance:** i’m grateful for keith ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** w h y  a r e  y o u  l i k e  t h i s

**lanceylance:** <3333

**kogayne:** i’m grateful for lance tho so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** why are you bo

**hunkerdunker:** nvm i’m grateful that i’m going christmas shopping after school tomorrow with my beautiful girlfriend

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m grateful that we’re finally putting christmas decorations up around the shop tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** you guys didn’t put up decorations yet?

**shayfromstatefarm:** nah, we wanted to get into a rhythm before they went up

**shayfromstatefarm:** better late than never

**takashmeoutside:** i see

**takashmeoutside:** i’m grateful for the pizza rolls i had for lunch

**kogayne:** MUST BE NICE, LUNCH TODAY SUCKED

**takashmeoutside:** :P

**mattata:** i’m grateful that sendak tripped and fell at work today

**lanceylance:** trhegtnyrtehrtersdbte

**takashmeoutside:** I MISSED IT

_ (1) video from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** i gotchu covered

**takashmeoutside:** hoyldhit

**carrierpidgeon:** AHAHAHAHAHA

**allurable:** i’m grateful i made this decision to go back to school but also HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO FUNNY

**kogayne:** it’s what he deserves

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** HALF DAY TOMORROW WHAT’S THE GAME PLAN

**kogayne:** wasting our extended study hall sleeping instead of door decorating

**lanceylance:** BET

**kogayne:** then we come back to my house tomorrow before we take the late shift at bb

**lanceylance:** :D sounds like a plan to me

**kogayne:** good night starboy, i love you

**lanceylance:** good night starlight, can’t wait to marry the fuck out of you

**kogayne:** GRTNYTETYJUMTYB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does the klance relationship seem unrealistic
> 
> probably
> 
> do i care
> 
> nOPE
> 
> (also the fcc voted to repeal net neutrality so tHAT'S FUN, CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH THAT, FUCK THE GOVERNMENT. AJIT PAI AND/OR GOVERNMENT AGENT READING THIS: MEET ME IN THE FUCKING PIT YOU CORPORATE GREEDY TRICK ASS BITCHES)
> 
> see ya whenever the next chapter is :P


	72. WHY IS THERE MORE KLANCE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance is soft and it's fRIDAY BITCHES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this _is_ the friday chapter going up at 3:30 AM on a monday
> 
> i wrote the beginning part w kl on friday morning at like 3 AM (and yes that dream did happen--you'll see what i mean) and the rest over the span between friday afternoon and now

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** psst are you awake

**kogayne:** lance it’s 3 AM

**lanceylance:** sO WHY ARE YOU AWAKE

**kogayne:** finishing something for ulaz’s class why are you awake

**lanceylance:** had a weird dream but that’s not what i’m texting about

**kogayne:** ???? wtf???????

**lanceylance:** shhh i’ll tell the group chat later but anyway i started thinking about u to calm down

**kogayne:** calm do

**kogayne:** WHAT WAS YOUR DREAM ABOUT THAT YOU HAD TO CALM DOWN

**lanceylance:** 75% sure i got visited by satan but that’s nOT THE POINT SHHHH I’VE COME TO SEVERAL CONCLUSIONS ABOUT LOVE AND MARRIAGE I FEEL THE NEED TO SHARE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I LOVE SPACE

**kogayne:** WE’RE COMING BACK TO THE DREAM DISCUSSION BEFORE YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP

**lanceylance:** OKAY CAN I IMPART MY WISDOM ON YOU NOW

**kogayne:** FINE GO AHEAD

**lanceylance:** okay so number one i figured out another thing i hate

**kogayne:** ?

**lanceylance:** people who think marriage is the end of the world and yet go thru with it anyway

**lanceylance:** literally there’s a whole genre of wedding cake topper that’s just “we don’t even wanna get married” and i hate it like if you don’t wanna get married and all you do is complain that you’re tied down and can’t have fun anymore don’t fuckin get married???

**lanceylance:** aND THEN I SAW THIS TWEET THE OTHER DAY THAT PISSED ME OFF BC I THOUGHT ABOUT U

**kogayne:** u think about me a lot

**lanceylance:** it’s my happy place but anyway

**kogayne:** etryhewrntyre

**lanceylance:** the tweet was somethin like “getting married at 21 is like leaving the party at 7:30” or something like that and i almost threw my phone, bc wHY DO PEOPLE THINK MAKING YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER OFFICIAL IS SO BAD, WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR PARTNER THAT MUCH

**lanceylance:** getting married at 21 just means now u get to do a buncha cool stuff with someone u love, why do people hate it that much

**lanceylance:** if being in a relationship is limiting your freedoms according to ur peanut brain then wHY BE IN A RELATIONSHIP THEN

**kogayne:** you’re very passionate about this

**lanceylance:** I AM

**lanceylance:** the way i was raised, romance is very important in my family and thus very important to ME

**lanceylance:** everyone’s all like “oh look at lance what a flirt” but like

**lanceylance:** ever since we started dating i’ve only ever genuinely flirted with u???? i mean sometimes i flirt with hunk but like, we’re best friends and have been for years 

**kogayne:** yeah i get u and hunk u don’t need to explain it

**lanceylance:** but anyway like

**lanceylance:** you’re my best best best friend??? shh don’t tell hunk but listen,,, i like u best

**kogayne:** WERTYJUJRHEWF

**lanceylance:** so i don’t get all these people who think that relationships are basically lifetime jail sentences

**lanceylance:** and i don’t get people who don’t take it seriously

**lanceylance:** literally why is it socially acceptable to think that the person you VOLUNTARILY GOT MARRIED TO is a dead weight on your life

**lanceylance:** romance should be the wind beneath ur wings, people in love should lift each other up, not constantly complain about “oh i gotta go spend time with my s/o now” like???? wtf u should be HAPPY TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM WHY IS IT A CHORE 

**lanceylance:** sorry i’m getting ranty

**kogayne:** no it’s okay i agree 100%

**lanceylance:** anyway the whole marriage discussion brings me to the other point i wanted to make which pertains more to us

**kogayne:** oh?

**lanceylance:** i’ve come to the conclusion that marriage is mostly just a mindset

**lanceylance:** and tbh while i can’t wait for the day when i can make it official and have everyone recognize us as husbands, 

**lanceylance:** we don’t /need/ a piece of paper or ceremony to think of it that way

**lanceylance:** we joke all the time abt people acting like married couples before it’s official but that’s literally??? what it is????? it’s marriage without the things that make it Marriage

**kogayne:** ,,,, where are you going with this

**lanceylance:** sometimes i think of us as already married tbh

**lanceylance:** we spend a lot of time at each others’ houses and if we both get accepted to the garrison then we’ll literally be living together, just without all the bills (but even then,,, tuition,,,)

**lanceylance:** ...is that weird

**lanceylance:** am i coming on too strong? it’s 3 AM my perceptions are not the greatest rn

**kogayne:** i’ve never thought about it that way

**kogayne:** i actually really like it

**kogayne:** it’s a lot more grounding too

**kogayne:** “lance is my husband and he loves me” 

**kogayne:** that brings me down to earth so much faster than “lance is my boyfriend and he loves me” 

**lanceylance:** it’s the connotation of the title

**lanceylance:** boyfriend implies there’s still a potential end

**kogayne:** boyfriEND

**lanceylance:** husband implies forever

**kogayne:** u wanna be my forever

**lanceylance:** that depends u wanna be mine

**kogayne:** damn fuckin right i do

**lanceylance:** then hell yeah i’ll be your forever

**kogayne:** good we’re already promised to each other so i was hoping you wouldn’t back out

**lanceylance:** never

**kogayne:** now,

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK SATAN VISITED YOU IN A DREAM

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** i had this really weird dream and like, everything kept going pitch black so i could hardly see, and like, we were fighting and then we made up and then we were in physics and then brendon urie from the emperor’s new clothes video was there and i started yelling that i’d repent and everything suddenly went to normal?

**kogayne:** wHAT THE FUCK??

**lanceylance:** it was one of those dreams where i’d wake up every five minutes and then fall back asleep and be right back into it, and i think i almost had sleep paralysis a couple times?

**kogayne:** WHY DIDN’T YOU TEXT ME SOONER???

**lanceylance:** i was gonna text u if i started freaking out really badly but i’m okay so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** so then what do you mean we were fighting?? 

**lanceylance:** idk it was over something dumb and hunk and shay were there too

**lanceylance:** it was like the play sorta, where we were all fighting for like no reason

**lanceylance:** but then we all almost drowned and so then we realized the fight was dumb and we made up

**kogayne:** what the fuck

**kogayne:** hold on so i googled what drowning in dreams means: “If you drown to death, then it refers to an emotional rebirth. If your survive the drowning, then it means that a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil. To see someone drowning in your dream suggests that you are becoming too deeply involved in something that is beyond your control.”

**lanceylance:** …

**kogayne:** are you really okay?

**lanceylance:** yeah i thought i was??

**kogayne:** so you don’t know what’s going on that caused your dream?

**lanceylance:** i mean, i’ve been thinking a lot about us and our future, but we survived the drowning, so,,,,

**kogayne:** and that last part?

**lanceylance:** we are totally in control 

**kogayne:** you sure you’re okay? 

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** are /you/ okay?

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** go to bed, i’ll pick u up in the morning

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** i love you, please know that 

**lanceylance:** i hold that thought close to my heart every day

**lanceylance:** i love you too <333

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’d like to thank not only god but jesus for this door decorating contest bc my english class is having a holiday party and i am going to overdose on capri sun

**hunkerdunker:** why

**carrierpidgeon:** BECAUSE I CAN

**carrierpidgeon:** I’VE NEVER FELT SO FREE

**carrierpidgeon:** IF ONLY I’D WORN A DRESS TO SCHOOL, THEN I WOULD BE MY MOST POWERFUL SELF

**shayfromstatefarm:** GOOD THING YOU DIDN’T IT’S LIKE -2 DEGREES

**lanceylance:** that’s literally the celsius temperature right now according to my snapchat

**carrierpidgeon:** yes which is why instead of a dress i went “friday? half day? door decorating? SWEATPANTS SEASON” 

**hunkerdunker:** i mean i showed up in a onesie so

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god you are NOT wearing a onesie

**hunkerdunker:** i am

_ (1) photo from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** he is

**shayfromstatefarm:** i am also

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** she is

**carrierpidgeon:** this is iconic i’m gonna cry this is so great

**carrierpidgeon:** pls take a picture together so i can make u guys christmas cards

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** here, they roped me into taking a picture bc of my “phenomenal photography skills”

**carrierpidgeon:** who said that

**shayfromstatefarm:** me

**carrierpidgeon:** nice alliteration

**shayfromstatefarm:** thank

**carrierpidgeon:** so how’s your door-decorating going

**kogayne:** the science department went with a jungle theme, everyone here is currently killing each other over staplers

**carrierpidgeon:** w h a t

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re making vines and by that i mean we’re making paper chains and there are only so many staplers to go around

**carrierpidgeon:** if only you could be making 6 second shitposts instead

**lanceylance:** ikr

**shayfromstatefarm:** some kid was standing on a chair trying to tape them to the ceiling and his friend shoved him and lance got it on camera if u want a more-than-6-second shitpost

**carrierpidgeon:** SEND IT

_ (1) video from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** rip

**carrierpidgeon:** “TYLER I’M GONNA END U” wrethewtrherwr

**carrierpidgeon:** lowkey wanna sneak on down to the science wing now :P

**lanceylance:** tag urself i’m the kid yelling

**kogayne:** i’m tyler

**lanceylance:** boi 

**kogayne:** :P

**hunkerdunker:** sneak on down to the science wing, pidge, we’ll cover u

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah, this contest is pretty chaotic anyway, i’m sure no one will notice

**shayfromstatefarm:** two girls took like, 3 laps around the school bc they were bored

**shayfromstatefarm:** haven’t gotten caught yet, they’re going for lap 4

**carrierpidgeon:** BET I’M COMING

**takashmeoutside:** this doesn’t sound responsible but i was up late last night listening to keith swear while doing a project so i’m too tired to give Good Advice

**kogayne:** “listening to keith swear while doing a project” is code for “staying up late rewatching the office by himself wondering why he didn’t invite matt and/or allura over”

**takashmeoutside:** SHUT UP KEITH

**mattata:** aw, i totally would’ve come over

**allurable:** SHIRO WHY DIDN’T YOU INVITE US

**takashmeoutside:** keith i’m going to kill you

**kogayne:** i have a knife collection are you sure that’s the best idea

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**lanceylance:** DONKEYYYY

**mattata:** DONKEYYY

**lanceylance:** :O

**mattata:** :O

**lanceylance:** w-what are we

**kogayne:** i’m coming for u next holt

**mattata:** w-we are nOTHING AT ALL

**mattata:** BYE

**lanceylance:** *bi

**shayfromstatefarm:** are you ever suddenly reminded that the only other members of the bi squad in this friend group are two giant memers

**allurable:** i mean, the pan squad is me and shiro and hunk, we’re pretty stable

**kogayne:** [looks around]

**carrierpidgeon:** [empty chairs at empty tables]

**kogayne:** ...solo squad?

**carrierpidgeon:** SOLO SQUAD

**shayfromstatefarm:** you know who else would be part of the solo squad

**kogayne:** who

**shayfromstatefarm:** han

**shayfromstatefarm:** yknow

**lanceylance:** NO STAR WARS SPOILERS SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** THIS IS ABOUT THE FORCE AWAKENS IT CAME OUT TWO YEARS AGO

**lanceylance:** YEAH AND SOME PEOPLE HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET

**shayfromstatefarm:** EVERYONE IN THIS CHAT HAS SEEN THE FORCE AWAKENS

**kogayne:** i’m still bitter, that was one of my dates with rolo  >:(

**shayfromstatefarm:** EW REALLY

**kogayne:** YEAH

**hunkerdunker:** my dude,

**kogayne:** shut UP i hate thinking about it

**takashmeoutside:** ...wait is that the date where the popcorn incident happened

**kogayne:** S H I R O

**allurable:** yikes

**shayfromstatefarm:** popcorn incident?

**kogayne:** ugh there’s this whole thing but all you need to know is that rolo wouldn’t stfu during the movie so someone tried to dump popcorn on him but it got dumped on me instead

**kogayne:** the magic was ruined, i ended up going with shiro to see tfa again the next weekend

**kogayne:** the (1) time i did something with rolo i genuinely enjoyed and he fUCKED UP

**kogayne:** i should’ve dumped him right there smh

**takashmeoutside:** yeah why didn’t you

**kogayne:** I WAS CONFLICTED AND SOCIALLY AWKWARD DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION

**kogayne:** ...he was also my ride home

**lanceylance:** does anyone know what class rolo is in so i can go beat him up with a lightsaber

**carrierpidgeon:** he might be in sociology but idk

**kogayne:** see, now lance is a genuine star wars fan and wON’T GET POPCORN DUMPED ON ME WHEN WE GO TO SEE TLJ

**carrierpidgeon:** are we going as one big group or did y’all have your own plans

**lanceylance:** we kind of planned on going, just the two of us

**kogayne:** i mean y’all can come if u want,

**lanceylance:** ^^

**hunkerdunker:** nah we’ll leave you nerds to it

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** so we’re definitely gonna go to the same theater as them and just watch the movie from different seats, right

**carrierpidgeon:** oh definitely

**hunkerdunker:** duh

**takashmeoutside:** what kind of older brother would i be if we didn’t

**mattata:** you’re cousins

**takashmeoutside:** semantics

**allurable:** “yep that’s shirogane’s cousin alright”

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** after a long afternoon,

**kogayne:** it’s Gratitude Hour

**kogayne:** i’m thankful for the new buffet place that opened next to the dollar store, what a good way to spend the afternoon w my boy

**lanceylance:** :)

**lanceylance:** i’m grateful for these nEW SOCKS, THE DOLLAR STORE HAS SO MANY GOOD PAIRS OF FUZZY SOCKS GUYS

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m grateful for the half day bc i came home and immediately took a four hour nap 

**takashmeoutside:** i’m grateful for the season finale of bu proving, once again, shaniacs reign

**kogayne:** fight me, moldy bread lover

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful that we wasted the entire school day doing absolutely nothing, i got to see my friends and chill out

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^ i’m grateful that we had the day off from bb to relax after this week

**allurable:** i’m grateful that i did absolutely nothing today

**allurable:** felt good to not be going 1002435 miles an hour

**mattata:** aaaaand i’m grateful that after yesterday, sendak didn’t even come into work today, and literally half of us started celebrating

**takashmeoutside:** true story

**kogayne:** welp, nice round of gratitudes today, i’m gonna go sleep for 500 years now

**lanceylance:** ^^^ i’m gonna go join him good night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so that dream was really fuckin weird and i hate dreams where it's like pitch black and i can't see it's so disorienting i hate it
> 
> anyway no saturday chapter and no sunday chapter, may or may not be a monday chapter depending on my homework load bc it's the last week before break so now my teachers are gonna cram
> 
> as it is at 2 AM i remembered a bunch of assignments i didn't do that are due tomorrow that i'm gonna have to cram but rIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO BED GOOD NIGHT


	73. pidge is a ray of sunshine and keith is quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge finally gets her cast off after 500 years; keith's not having a great day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so no saturday sunday OR monday chapter, i was busy using the week to get ahead on my homework, i'm now finished with everything due through tomorrow and tbh through friday
> 
> this is the tuesday chapter, the wednesday chapter is currently being written

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** TODAY’S THE DAY

**carrierpidgeon:** I KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE 

**carrierpidgeon:** I GET MY CAST OFF AFTER 500 YEARS AND THEN IT’S STRAIGHT TO THERAPY

**carrierpidgeon:** lmao straight

**carrierpidgeon:** not in this fuckign group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** ...IS ANYONE GONNA RESPOND OR AM I JUST GONNA KEEP SHOUTING INTO THE VOID

**mattata:** I WAS SLEEPING I HAVE THE DAY OFF

**mattata:** AND I KNOW YOUR PLANS ALREADY

**carrierpidgeon:** WELL EXCUSE ME WHERE ARE THE REST OF MY FRIENDS WHO ARE GENERALLY ALL FOR IGNORING CLASSROOM INSTRUCTIONAL TIME IN FAVOR OF MEMES AND SUFFERING

**lanceylance:** SORRYYY MY SPANISH TEACHER’S IN A BAD MOOD TODAY

**lanceylance:** NOT TRYING TO GET SKINNED ALIVE

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY WOULD YOUR SPANISH TEACHER SKIN YOU ALIVE

**lanceylance:** I DUNNO

**mattata:** it would be so much easier to run him over in the parking lot and make it look like an accident

**lanceylance:** ,,,, mmmmm filing that one away

**mattata:** wAIT NO LANCE DON’T

**lanceylance:** T O O  L A T E

**takashmeoutside:** why is this the first thing i open the group chat to

**allurable:** LANCE NO

**lanceylance:** LANCE YES

**takashmeoutside:** [long-suffering sigh]

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** lance did you get enough sleep last night

**lanceylance:** NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

**takashmeoutside:** probably not

**shayfromstatefarm:** HEY TOTALLY GONNA INTERRUPT AND MAKE THIS ABOUT ME

**hunkerdunker:** YES DARLING

**carrierpidgeon:** [holding back a scream]

**shayfromstatefarm:** I GOT INTO THE TAUJEER SCHOOL OF ARUS U

**hunkerdunker:** !!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY FUCKGIN GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!

**allurable:** YES SHAY GET THAT ACCEPTANCE

**shayfromstatefarm:** AND I GOT A SCHOLARSHIP AND IT’S NEARLY A FULL RIDE

**takashmeoutside:** HOLY SHIT

**mattata:** GO SHAY GO

**allurable:** HOW DID YOU FIND OUT SO SOON, DID YOU DO EARLY DECISION

**shayfromstatefarm:** YEAH

**lanceylance:** IT WAS BINDING RIGHT

**shayfromstatefarm:** YEAH

**lanceylance:** BET

**lanceylance:** CONGRATS SHAY I’M SO PROUD

**carrierpidgeon:** YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

**kogayne:** CONGRATS SHAY

**allurable:** WAIT SO HUNK AND LANCE AND KEITH, YOU ALL APPLIED TO THE GARRISON SCHOOL AT ARUS, WHEN DO YOU FIND OUT

**hunkerdunker:** i initially did regular decision but they asked if i wanted to change to early decision ii so i did so i find out by february

**lanceylance:** i kept regular decision i’m not ready for that level of commitment lmao

**allurable:** bUT WHEN DO YOU FIND OUT

**lanceylance:** idfk, april?

**takashmeoutside:** but i thought the garrison school was ur dream school

**lanceylance:** binding commitment like that is still scARY

**allurable:** i see

**allurable:** KEITH WHEN DO U FIND OUT

**kogayne:** same as lance

**shayfromstatefarm:** the gc the day u guys find out is going to be a hot mess

**lanceylance:** so we all agree i’m hot

**carrierpidgeon:** sHAY WHY DID YOU WORD IT LIKE THAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** SORRY IT’S EARLY I FORGOT HE’S A HEATHEN THIS EARLY

**hunkerdunker:** he’s a heathen 24/7, the heathenness never sleeps

**lanceylance:** is that even a word

**carrierpidgeon:** it looks like it shouldn’t be, but yes, according to merriam-webster, it is

**hunkerdunker:** :)

**mattata:** ~the more you knooooowwww~

**lanceylance:** the opposite of my Calc Mood, in which i am millard fillmore

**carrierpidgeon:** ...what?

**lanceylance:** i know nothing

**allurable:** DID YOU JUST MAKE AN APUSH JOKE

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE STFU

**lanceylance:** >:O DID ANYONE APPRECIATE IT

**hunkerdunker:** decently-crafted, 7.5/10

**lanceylance:** BETTER THAN MOST OF MY TEST GRADES, I’LL TAKE IT, THANKS BUDDY

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk i disagree

**lanceylance:** SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** that joke was pretty good it deserves at LEAST an 8

**lanceylance:** NVM CARRY ON THANKS SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** HELL YEAH BI SOLIDARITY (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**mattata:** LANCE I GIVE IT A 10/10 (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**allurable:** i can’t believe

**takashmeoutside:** i can

**mattata:** these are my children, i have raised them well

**hunkerdunker:** does that make shiro and allura my parents

**allurable:** yes my son

**carrierpidgeon:** AND WHAT ABOUT ME AND KEITH, ARE WE JUST STREET URCHINS

**takashmeoutside:** adopted

**takashmeoutside:** well, we adopted keith, matt adopted you, bc lowkey you’re a fucking memer like the rest of them

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ can’t argue with that

**mattata:** MEME TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

**shayfromstatefarm:** i hate this family

**lanceylance:** ETRYTRSEGTNRED SHAY YOU JUST MEMED I’M SO PROUD TO CALL YOU MY SISTER

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh god you’re all rubbing off on me make it stop

**lanceylance:** ...YOU CAN’T STOP THE BEAT

**takashmeoutside:** okay go back to class now goodbye

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i wanna bash my head into a fucking wall

**takashmeoutside:** welp, this isn’t good

**kogayne:** everything is TOO LOUD 

**kogayne:** THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE

**takashmeoutside:** ???

**takashmeoutside:** are you at lunch?

**kogayne:** YEAH

**kogayne:** SOME CLASS CHANGED LUNCH SHIFTS AND LIKE 3 KIDS SAT AT OUR TABLE AND NOW WE’RE FULL AND EVERYONE IS SCREAMING 

**takashmeoutside:** ...sensory overload

**kogayne:** YEAH I FUCKING KNOW WHAT IT IS

**takashmeoutside:** okay

**takashmeoutside:** can you remove yourself from the situation?

**takashmeoutside:** get to the bathroom or something and try and calm down

**kogayne:** okay

**takashmeoutside:** you haven’t had sensory overload in a while, is something going on that you’re not telling me about

**kogayne:** ...i may or may not have had a mental breakdown last night

**takashmeoutside:** /keith/

**kogayne:** just

**kogayne:** thinking about the past and thinking about how every single thing that’s gone wrong or went wrong for someone i was close to is my fault

**takashmeoutside:** no, keith, don’t think like that

**takashmeoutside:** is there anything in particular

**kogayne:** ...there was a lot

**kogayne:** i couldn’t sleep well either

**kogayne:** i’m...i’m having a rough day

**takashmeoutside:** who drove you to school today, you or lance?

**kogayne:** lance

**takashmeoutside:** i’m at work, do you want me to send matt to go and get you

**kogayne:** no, there’s only 3 more classes, once lunch is over i think i’ll be okay

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** text me if you need anything else

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** thanks

**takashmeoutside:** of course

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** didn’t wanna say anything earlier

**lanceylance:** and didn’t wanna follow u and make a big scene or anything

**lanceylance:** but are you okay?

**lanceylance:** wait no i phrased that wrong you’re not okay

**lanceylance:** is there anything i can do

**kogayne:** i wanna be left alone

**kogayne:** sensory overload

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** i love you

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** MY ARM IS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**carrierpidgeon:** I WISH IT’D HAD FULL FUNCTIONALITY DURING THE SHOW BUT I’M BACK BITCHES

**shayfromstatefarm:** at least it happened at this time of year and not over the summer, imagine taking that off and having an awkward tanline

**carrierpidgeon:** shay that is /nightmare fuel/

**carrierpidgeon:** just kidding i stay inside in the dark with only the glow of my laptop no matter the season

**hunkerdunker:** pale child

**carrierpidgeon:** i burn easily ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** i /get/ burned easily

**carrierpidgeon:** are you a chestnut

**lanceylance:** yes and this group chat is an open fire

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT IS WITH THE PUNS TODAY

**lanceylance:** i’m in a punning mood

**takashmeoutside:** we can tell

**lanceylance:** ah yes, deadpan shiro making his appearance

**hunkerdunker:** is there any other shiro

**carrierpidgeon:** *matthew holt and allura altea need not reply

**mattata:** ;)

**allurable:** :P

**carrierpidgeon:** maaaaaaaaaaaatt get off your phone it’s time to Go

**mattata:** smh fine

**hunkerdunker:** have fun at therapy!

**hunkerdunker:** ...wait that came out wrong

**carrierpidgeon:** i got what you meant

**carrierpidgeon:** i will

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m in a good mood today!!

**hunkerdunker:** pidge? bright and sunny?

**carrierpidgeon:** my attitude is brighter than my future

**mattata:** you have one of the brightest futures of all of us

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah no shit sherlock

**mattata:** ...SHE WASN’T BEING SELF-DEPRECATING

**carrierpidgeon:** no that’s lance’s job

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** except today

**lanceylance:** i had espresso

**lanceylance:** so now

**lanceylance:** i won’t be so depresso

**shayfromstatefarm:** i feel like he’s riding a caffeine high right now and he’s gonna crash later

**lanceylance:** YEAH PROBABLY

**allurable:** one of us will break your fall

**lanceylance:** betbetbetbetbet

**lanceylance:** calc can’t even bring me down because i understand what we’re doing 

**lanceylance:** i am fucking INVINCIBLE

**takashmeoutside:** lance + 2 hours of sleep + espresso = oh god someone stop him

**lanceylance:** hey get out of here with your faulty math

**carrierpidgeon:** math is my thing heathen

**takashmeoutside:** ??? you’re not the only person capable of math in this group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** yes but i’m the best at it

**takashmeoutside:** i have 3 college degrees, you’re a sophomore in high school

**carrierpidgeon:** shut up granola bar

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** sorry about today

**kogayne:** i shouldn’t have been giving you the cold shoulder

**lanceylance:** what’s going on with you?

**kogayne:** depression doesn’t sleep, i guess

**kogayne:** i ended up in a bad spot last night

**kogayne:** i couldn’t sleep, so there was no chance of sleeping it off

**kogayne:** i’m sorry

**lanceylance:** hey shh it’s okay, you don’t need to apologize for needing space

**kogayne:** i didn’t even tell you what was going on, lance

**lanceylance:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**lanceylance:** do you wanna tell me what happened

**kogayne:** it’s nothing important

**lanceylance:** :( keeeeeeeeeeeith

**kogayne:** self-hatred

**kogayne:** that’s the best i can sum it up

**kogayne:** i was thinking about the past and blaming myself for everything that’s ever gone wrong in my life or in the lives of anyone i’ve ever been close to

**lanceylance:** babe :(

**lanceylance:** i’m not gonna lie and say “none of it is your fault” bc everyone plays a role in situations but not /all/ of it was your fault, and i’m willing to bet /most/ of whatever you were thinking about wasn’t your fault

**lanceylance:** is there anything specific still bothering you

**kogayne:** not really

**kogayne:** i just got up from a 4 hour nap

**lanceylance:** it’s literally 8 PM now you won’t sleep tonight

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** i’ll try anyway but

**kogayne:** i don’t know

**lanceylance:** it’s okay

**lanceylance:** you’re strong, i need you to know that and understand it. you’ve been through a lot in 18 years that honestly no 18-year-old deserves to have been through. you’ve still got healing to go through, but you’re /trying/, and it shows. i love you, and i’m here for you every step of the way.

**kogayne:** thanks

**lanceylance:** <333

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WHOOOOOOO’S READY FOR GRATITUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDES

**hunkerdunker:** holy shit you are in a /really/ good mood

**carrierpidgeon:** MY THERAPIST GAVE ME A BUNCH OF CANDY CANES AFTER OUR SESSION TODAY AND IT’S BEEN A GOOD DAY, THAT’S WHAT I’M GRATEFUL FOR

**lanceylance:** i understand calculus!!! there’s my gratitude!!! thank jesus for antiderivatives!!

**hunkerdunker:** i’m thankful that we confirmed there’s no physics test before break!!! no stress here!

**shayfromstatefarm:** I GOT INTO COLLEGE WITH A SCHOLARSHIP I CAN RELAX NOW

**allurable:** i befriended an old lady in my college class today, we’re plotting to take over

**carrierpidgeon:** rhrtasjddlfljnfgh leave it to you

**takashmeoutside:** matt wasn’t here to witness me knock over a display at work today bc he would’ve snapchatted it

**mattata:** WHAT

**takashmeoutside:** i knocked over an entire gingerbread family

**takashmeoutside:** the father got decapitated and one of his gingerbread children lost an arm

**mattata:** hrthfgnfdmthgmf

**mattata:** regardless, i’m glad i had the day off

**kogayne:** i’m glad the day is over

**carrierpidgeon:** ...AND THAT WRAPS GRATITUDES FOR TODAY

**takashmeoutside:** alright kids, go to bed, three more days of school

**carrierpidgeon:** two and a half, actually

**hunkerdunker:** and since four of us are drama club seniors, we’re in the holiday assembly friday, we miss the whole day, so really, for us, two days

**carrierpidgeon:** MUST BE NICE

**carrierpidgeon:** moments like these make me wish i joined band 

**shayfromstatefarm:** band misses so much school

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s why i didn’t, it would fuck up my grades

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean i’m sure i /could/ stay on track but that’s more stress i don’t want/need

**lanceylance:** smart choice 

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway GOOD NIGHT and by GOOD NIGHT i mean I’M GONNA STOP ANSWERING THE GROUP CHAT BUT CATCH ME ON STEAM ALL NIGHT

**mattata:** smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (lmao so yeah i had a mental breakdown monday night and was...slightly off on tuesday. not sure if anyone actually noticed or just chalked it up to exhaustion.)
> 
> ALSO IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, I POSTED A NEW ONE-SHOT  
> this is another one of my fic requests from instagram, and this one is set in the future in the canon universe (it's klance :P): **[mirage](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13065555)**
> 
> okie dokie see you in the wednesday chapter (it feels so freeing to have no homework and _be ahead_ on assignments wowie)


	74. this got more depressing than intended whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> general group chat shenanigans; keith is NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY (ft. klance and team forest fire)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, uh, you all read the chapter title

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

_ (24) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning here are some cute photos of us and also of baby animals i hope your day is better today <3333

**kogayne:** the sixth from the bottom is my favorite

**lanceylance:** ahhhh!!!

**lanceylance:** you’re being cute this morning, how are you

**kogayne:** feeling better, at the moment

**kogayne:** yesterday was just...weird

**kogayne:** im hoping there’s no repeat for today but my depressive episodes are just,,,

**lanceylance:** i know

**lanceylance:** whatever u need, i’ve got u

**lanceylance:** i’ve always got u

**kogayne:** i have you too

**kogayne:** please know that

**kogayne:** i know it seems like u have to help me more often than not but i swear, 

**lanceylance:** we’re in this together!!

**lanceylance:** 1\. have each other

**lanceylance:** 2\. take over the world

**lanceylance:** 3\. ???

**lanceylance:** 4\. profit

**kogayne:** <3

**kogayne:** uh

**lanceylance:** whaaaaaaat’s on ur mind buddy, my man,

**kogayne:** :/

**lanceylance:** [squishes ur face] what’s up, light of my life

**kogayne:** i think i’m gonna schedule a visit to my therapist before the week is over

**kogayne:** as in like, tomorrow

**kogayne:** ...can u go with me

**lanceylance:** umm yes of course???

**kogayne:** also

**lanceylance:** i’ve already prepped the mobile order, i’m leaving in 15 :)

**kogayne:** how the fuck

**lanceylance:** we’re CONNECTED

**lanceylance:** #driftcompatible 

**kogayne:** you’re ridiculous

**lanceylance:** yeah but i’m also *your ridiculous

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** looooooooooooove youuuuuuuuuuu see you soon!!!!!

**kogayne:** love you too

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

_ (4) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** WHO HURT HIM

**takashmeoutside:** according to my recent conversations with him, his brain

**lanceylance:** are you sure that’s it???

**takashmeoutside:** he would’ve told one of us if it was anything else, and so far, he hasn’t given a specific cause

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**lanceylance:** i am going to make this boy into a blanket burrito until he feels better

**takashmeoutside:** don’t you think your teachers will notice

**lanceylance:** I WILL MAKE THIS BOY INTO A BLANKET BURRITO UNTIL HE FEELS BETTER

**lanceylance:** ...unless he still needs space, in which case i’ll leave him alone while watching over him like his damn guardian angel

**takashmeoutside:** good to know

**takashmeoutside:** he’s waiting on you to come pick him up btw

**lanceylance:** I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW I AM COMING MULLETMAN

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** now that i’ve gotten into college can i just

**shayfromstatefarm:** not

**shayfromstatefarm:** do anything

**allurable:** do your work keep up the good grades

**allurable:** honor roll

**allurable:** keep your class rank

**hunkerdunker:** is it possible to fall out of the top 10 at this point in the year

**allurable:** i don’t think any of you should try finding out

**carrierpidgeon:** but if they did

**carrierpidgeon:** and then they wrote down everything they did

**carrierpidgeon:** and their observations

**carrierpidgeon:** it automatically becomes SCIENCE

**mattata:** EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S ONLY SCIENCE IF YOU WRITE IT DOWN

**carrierpidgeon:** EXACTLY THANK YOU MATT

**mattata:** ANY TIME LITTLE SIS

**hunkerdunker:** pidge why don’t you try

**carrierpidgeon:** hoe i am a sophomore, my class hasn’t turned competitive yet, i will not sacrifice valedictorian, not even for science

**lanceylance:** slytherin pidge making an appearance

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m adaptable, i flow between my primary and secondary where necessary

**lanceylance:** i can’t tell if that’s more of a ravenclaw or slytherin statement

**allurable:** it feels like slytherin to me

**takashmeoutside:** SHOULDN’T YOU ALL BE IN CLASS

**lanceylance:** all we’re doing in psych is watching a movie and i sit next to a wall, antok /doesn’t give a shit/

**lanceylance:** and i’ve already filled out the movie guide so i mean ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** and what’s mothman up to

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** he use the sleep

**carrierpidgeon:** damn i wanna use the sleep

**takashmeoutside:** don’t you have a lab to do

**carrierpidgeon:** hush

**carrierpidgeon:** and no, i don’t, we just finished one

**carrierpidgeon:** the next few days are gonna be a WASTE

**hunkerdunker:** just keep pushing on through!!

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** Y’ALL

**takashmeoutside:** so has half of the group chat just adopted “y’all” as the new greeting

**lanceylance:** hell yeah

**lanceylance:** what’s up shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** i was in the bathroom, right

**carrierpidgeon:** WAS THERE A FIGHT

**hunkerdunker:** did you stumble upon 15 kids vaping again

**shayfromstatefarm:** no and no

**shayfromstatefarm:** there was one other girl in there

**shayfromstatefarm:** and like i exit my stall after i’m done peeing, right

**carrierpidgeon:** yes, that would be the thing normal humans do,

**shayfromstatefarm:** and the other girl is leaving her stall too

**shayfromstatefarm:** she’s one of those girls u don’t know whether or not u wanna kiss them or be them, right

**allurable:** OH GOD THOSE GIRLS INTIMIDATE THE FUCK OUT OF ME

**carrierpidgeon:** [whispers] i’m 99% sure people consider you /one of those girls,/ allura

**shayfromstatefarm:** killer makeup, cute hair, cute outfit

**shayfromstatefarm:** looks at me, smiles, goes “i like your eyebrows,” and walks out

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m???? i’m gonna think about that the rest of the day

**hunkerdunker:** wait did she wash her hands

**shayfromstatefarm:** she didn’t actually use the toilet, not that i heard

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...she was in the stall next to the window, i wonder if she actually was vaping

**carrierpidgeon:** could’ve been one of those people who just randomly climbs in and out of windows

**kogayne:** what’s a girl

**carrierpidgeon:** MOTHMAN HAS ARRIVED

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT’S UP MOTHMAN

**kogayne:** my desire to be at home

**takashmeoutside:** i can leave work and come get u

**allurable:** or i can come get u

**kogayne:** no i meant

**kogayne:** nvm i’m not gonna leave

**kogayne:** just gotta get through today and tomorrow, then friday i’m in the auditorium basically all day

**kogayne:** ...again

**lanceylance:** yeah but u have me  <3

**kogayne:** <3

**carrierpidgeon:** someone sneak me into the skit, get me on the soundboard, anything, i need some way to get out of class on friday

**lanceylance:** there might actually be a way to worm you in on lights

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE TWO FUNCTIONING ARMS AGAIN I’LL TAKE IT

**lanceylance:** i’ll find some way to get you in

**carrierpidgeon:** and this is why you’re one of my honorary older brothers

**lanceylance:** touched, truly

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** wanna see some cryptid memes i found

_ (11) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** oh also the news hasn’t been focused on it but the government apparently discovered aliens a while ago, in like, 2004

_ (2) links from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** yO WHAT THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** the government has been a shitshow so this somehow got overlooked

**kogayne:** w h a t

**carrierpidgeon:** congratulations aliens are like 99% probably real and have been here

**kogayne:** hoyl shit

**carrierpidgeon:** hoyl

**carrierpidgeon:** that sounds like, idfk like a cooking oil brand

**kogayne:** egrytujrhes

**kogayne:** thanks for these, nessie denier

**carrierpidgeon:** i gotchu

**carrierpidgeon:** now for the love of GOD CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHEN YOU’RE SAD SO I CAN SEND MORE SHITTY MEMES AND YOUR BOYFRIEND CAN HELP YOU AND SO CAN THE REST OF THE GROUP CHAT

**kogayne:** did shiro or lance say something

**carrierpidgeon:** no, you ghosted again

**kogayne:** it’s right before christmas,

**carrierpidgeon:** dude,

**kogayne:** and you were having such a good day,

**carrierpidgeon:** dUDE

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t make me put lance in this chat

**carrierpidgeon:** on behalf of lance and the entire group chat: WE CARE ABOUT YOU, WE DON’T CARE IF WE’RE HAVING A GOOD DAY, DON’T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM SPEAKING UP DAMMIT

**kogayne:** HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT I FEEL LIKE MY PROBLEMS ARE INSIGNIFICANT AND THAT I CAN HANDLE MYSELF AND NOBODY NEEDS TO WORRY ABOUT ME 

**carrierpidgeon:** WE’RE GONNA WORRY ANYWAY 

**kogayne:** I’M USED TO LONE-WOLFING IT, PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU’RE NOT A LONE WOLF ANYMORE, YOU HAVE A PACK, LET THE PACK CARE FOR ONE OF ITS OWN

**kogayne:** WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE PACK FALLS APART 

**kogayne:** WHAT THEN

**kogayne:** I’M BACK ON MY OWN

**carrierpidgeon:** ...the pack isn’t going to fall apart

**kogayne:** and how do you know that

**kogayne:** everything in my life falls apart at one point or another

**kogayne:** my mom leaves, my dad dies, my aunt and uncle die, my cousin loses his arm and gets ptsd and breaks up with his boyfriend, i find a boy i like and he doesn’t like me, my other boyfriend turns out to be a giant asshole, i get harassed in my senior year by multiple students and administrators, one of my favorite activities gets corrupted bc of some drunk shits, and now i can’t even enjoy being a senior bc my own brain won’t shut the fuck up

**carrierpidgeon:** ...i don’t know how to reply

**kogayne:** i’m sorry fuck i’m soru 

**carrierpidgeon:** no

**carrierpidgeon:** shut up

**carrierpidgeon:** listen

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t imagine what losing your real parents and then losing your parent-figures feels like

**carrierpidgeon:** but you’ve got shiro. you’ve always had shiro. he was too stubborn to let you go and thank god he didn’t. you’ve had me and matt forever. you’ve known me basically since i was born. i haven’t gone anywhere. matt and shiro may have broken up but they were still friends, and now they’re back together /and/ dating allura. shiro may have lost his arm but he copes with it the best he can.

**carrierpidgeon:** rolo’s a giant dick who doesn’t deserve another thought. you pined after lance for a long time and you’ve got him now, don’t you? 

**carrierpidgeon:** and honestly, fuck the kids and the administrators in this school, there are only a few who i’d consider saving if this place burned down. you’re gonna be out of here in less than a year, they don’t deserve a thought, either

**carrierpidgeon:** and finally: the woods? worst experience of my life. hands down. but it could’ve gone a lot /worse/ than it did if either of us had been there alone

**carrierpidgeon:** stop blaming yourself for situations out of your control

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t speak on your brain

**carrierpidgeon:** brains are wildly complicated and basically do whatever the fuck they please, and sometimes they like to fuck with our perceptions

**carrierpidgeon:** let me tell you: this group chat’s been a gang since your freshman year, no one’s leaving, not this late in the game

**kogayne:** i’m still /scared/

**kogayne:** there’s some girl in my forensics class, just a month ago her friend group of over /ten years/ fell apart

**kogayne:** that could be us

**carrierpidgeon:** if that becomes us i will drop engineering as my planned major and go into early childhood education

**carrierpidgeon:** even /if/ this group were to fall apart, you won’t be alone

**carrierpidgeon:** you’ve got shiro, definitely, and i don’t think he, allura, and matt plan on breaking up, so you’ve got them, and by extension, you have /me/

**carrierpidgeon:** and trust me, i’ve listened to lance gush about you before, that boy’s not going anywhere

**carrierpidgeon:** ...and then hunk is lance’s best friend, and shay is dating hunk…

**carrierpidgeon:** now that i think about it i seriously doubt this group chat /can/ fall apart

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean it /can/ but the probability is incredibly low due to group interactions,

**kogayne:** i got it

**kogayne:** ...thanks for this, pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** any time, now go like,,,, do schoolwork or something, or like, look at pictures of dogs

**carrierpidgeon:** here i have some of bae bae in my phone

_ (8) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** thanks

**kogayne:** sorry that you had to like, deal with this

**carrierpidgeon:** BOI

 

**_carrierpidgeon > lanceylance_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i will tell you this once

**lanceylance:** ...i am slightly afraid

**carrierpidgeon:** 1\. hug your boy tight and make sure he knows he’s loved

**carrierpidgeon:** 2\. if you ever break his heart, i will break /you/

**lanceylance:** what’s going on with mulletman

_ (7) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** holy shit

**carrierpidgeon:** no shit sherlock

**lanceylance:** thanks for letting me know

**carrierpidgeon:** no problem

**carrierpidgeon:** and i meant what i said

**carrierpidgeon:** hurt him and i will make your life hell

**lanceylance:** i have no doubts

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** after school

**lanceylance:** you, me, conspiracy doc binge

**lanceylance:** i’ve got plenty of blankets and plenty of snacks

**lanceylance:** if u end up needing to vent, vent away

**lanceylance:** if you don’t wanna talk, you don’t have to

**lanceylance:** if you wanna sleep, let me be your pillow

**lanceylance:** just /please/ let me be with you

**kogayne:** ...did pidge tell you

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** you know i’m not going anywhere

**lanceylance:** i know ur brain is telling you otherwise

**lanceylance:** But The Glitter Is Here To Stay 

**kogayne:** i know, it’s just...sometimes i feel like everyone only acts like they care bc they’re obligated to, not because they actually care

**kogayne:** and some days i feel it would be so much easier to cut everyone off and fend for myself without having to worry about making others feel bad for me

**lanceylance:** i know

**lanceylance:** some days my brain is the same way

**lanceylance:** it doesn’t make it true

**lanceylance:** you are loved

**lanceylance:** we love you for you and we care because you’re /family/, you deserve love

**lanceylance:** i could go on about how much i love you for paragraphs but u know that already

**lanceylance:** but know

**lanceylance:** you are my universe

**lanceylance:** my sun, my moon, every star, every galaxy

**kogayne:** u fucker i’m crying in the middle of english

**lanceylance:** meet me in the bathroom

**lanceylance:** you need to be loved right now, not to analyze poems

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** so keith’s been,,, pretty out of it today

**lanceylance:** we got to my house and he fell asleep after a long cry, so like,,,

**lanceylance:** do we bother with gratitudes

**hunkerdunker:** after seeing him during physics, and seeing how drained he looked,,,

**shayfromstatefarm:** it feels wrong

**lanceylance:** like, he started gratitudes as a way to help himself recover, but,

**lanceylance:** idk, it feels cruel to like, force him to be positive right now

**carrierpidgeon:** we could do double gratitudes tomorrow if he’s in a better mood

**takashmeoutside:** that’s probably a good idea

**lanceylance:** i’m so upset for him, he was supposed to be feeling better this morning, and it all just went downhill

**takashmeoutside:** depression doesn’t care, it does what it wants

**takashmeoutside:** it doesn’t care if you’re at 47% or 87%, it’ll attack whenever it sees fit

**lanceylance:** well hopefully he’s recharging right now

**lanceylance:** hopefully after crying and sleeping he’ll feel a little better

**takashmeoutside:** i take it he’s spending the night

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna go for the night

**lanceylance:** sleep tight y’all

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah, i’m going too

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** night everyone

**mattata:** night kids

**allurable:** see you all in the morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the bathroom thing happened today, i'm still thinking about it
> 
> everyone at school likes my eyebrows yet my aunt and mother and sister all criticize them, i sense generational differences
> 
> also,,,, i nEED TO STOP ISOLATING MYSELF THIS KEEPS HAPPENING (dear keith: sorry i keep projecting on u ily)
> 
> I'M BETTER NOW BUT UHHHH YEAH THIS WAS MOSTLY A VENT BYE SEE Y'ALL TOMORROW


	75. they discuss the milk fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they discuss the milk fic; keith goes to therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i read the milk fic for the first time the other day and i can't look at milk the same way anymore. not gonna slander the author of the milk fic bc it's actually really well-written but also wHAT THE FUCK
> 
> **EDIT 02/03/18: the author of the milk fic is apparently a manipulative piece of shit so never mind your fanfic was nasty idc how well-written it was. okay kids read on**

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** there are not enough turbo shots in this coffee to keep me going today

**lanceylance:** #pray4lance

**carrierpidgeon:** dude what time did you sleep

**lanceylance:** like 4:30 in the morning

**hunkerdunker:** AND WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP

**lanceylance:** 6

**hunkerdunker:** L A N C E

**shayfromstatefarm:** why do you do this to yourself

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE I CAN

**lanceylance:** IT’S CALLED ANXIETY, LOOK IT UP

**hunkerdunker:** dude,

**lanceylance:** I’M FINE NOW I JUST NEED MORE SLEEP

**shayfromstatefarm:** smh come to the café after school

**lanceylance:** i cannot i already have plans

**shayfromstatefarm:** wha

**shayfromstatefarm:** OH

**lanceylance:** YE

**shayfromstatefarm:** COME AFTER

**lanceylance:** I’LL SEE LATER

**takashmeoutside:** why are all of you shouting this early in the morning

**lanceylance:** IT’S CALLED CAFFEINE, SHIRO, LOOK IT UP

**takashmeoutside:** do not sass me,

**carrierpidgeon:** erfhrthktrtdhfmndfg is that your dad voice

**takashmeoutside:** i am being ATTACKED

**allurable:** i would save u but this is too funny to pass up

**takashmeoutside:** FAKE GIRLFRIEND

**mattata:** i’m with allura on this

**takashmeoutside:** FAKE BOYFRIEND

**carrierpidgeon:** dad voice dad voice dad voice dad voice

**takashmeoutside:** smh i’m not even your dad, matt is, we established that the other day

**mattata:** daddy™ 

**carrierpidgeon:** i think the fuck not

**mattata:** ...paternal unit™ 

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s better

**hunkerdunker:** it sounds like a robot

**carrierpidgeon:** why do you think i agreed to it

**lanceylance:** hey, question,

**allurable:** shoot

**lanceylance:** what happens in the event that my teacher takes my phone and makes me read my texts out loud, do you think i have time to pull up a google doc and begin reading like, an essay

**carrierpidgeon:** as long as you don’t get caught changing apps

**takashmeoutside:** i’m concerned as to why this is a question you have

**lanceylance:** we’re wrapping our movie in antok’s class and my phone brightness was up too far, next time i get caught i have to read my texts out loud

**mattata:** I’M GONNA SEND THE ENTIRETY OF THE MILK FIC

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**allurable:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** HELL TO THE FUCKING NO

**hunkerdunker:** ...wait, what’s the milk fic

**lanceylance:** D O  N O T

**lanceylance:** LOOK IT UP IF YOU WANT BUT I WON’T RECOMMEND IT

**carrierpidgeon:** i didn’t drink milk for a solid month after that

**hunkerdunker:** ...wait is this anything like that freakin skin fic or whatever you made me read three years ago

**carrierpidgeon:** WORSE

**lanceylance:** SO MUCH WORSE

**hunkerdunker:** ...uh

**kogayne:** [whispers] do iiiiiit

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe your fucking entrance to this chat is mysterious whispering

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**carrierpidgeon:** HAVE /YOU/ READ THE MILK FIC?

**kogayne:** i’ve more than read it

**shayfromstatefarm:** W H A T  DOES THAT  M E A N

**lanceylance:** he comes back to the chat and he’s about to expose us, there’s the keith i know and love but also KEITH SHUT UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...WAIT

**mattata:** HOLY SHIT

**kogayne:** OKAY, NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING, 

**lanceylance:** [headdesk] why did you SAY SOMETHING

**kogayne:** ALL WE DID WAS A DRAMATIC READING

**carrierpidgeon:** ...so who was who

**lanceylance:** WE ARE NOT DISCLOSING

**kogayne:** that’s confidential

**hunkerdunker:** i’m gonna regret asking but can someone send me the link

_ (1) link from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** HERE YOU GO

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m erasing this link from my phone

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**hunkerdunker:** YOU NASTY MOTHERFUCKERS

**lanceylance:** WE WARNED YOU

**hunkerdunker:** I CAN’T TELL IF IT WAS BETTER OR NASTIER THAN THE SKIN FIC

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** yo, hunk shay and i just got called out of thace’s class to the office, did something happen??? are you okay????

**kogayne:** i was literally just about to text you bc i just got called out of ryner’s class

**lanceylance:** oh shit wait i bet this is about the holiday assemblies tomorrow, i’m willing to bet all the drama seniors are getting called down

**kogayne:** probably

**lanceylance:** okay cool so i’ll be seeing ur cute face in a few minutes, you doing okay?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** i love you

**lanceylance:** <3333

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** SHOUTOUT TO THE OFFICE FOR GIVING ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK

**madplax:** FLOR AND I WERE READING SMUT ON THE SCHOOL WIFI WHEN WE WERE CALLED DOWN AND THOUGHT WE GOT CAUGHT

**lanceylance:** djdkskaenemd we were discussing the milk fic first period

**madplax:** OH MY GOD

**lotoreal:** ...what?

**hunkerdunker:** DON’T ASK

_ (1) link from  _ **_madplax_ **

**madplax:** HAVE AT IT

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS IS THE SECOND TIME TODAY I’VE HAD TO REMOVE THIS DIRTY LINK FROM MY PHONE YOU DICKS

**hunkerdunker:** i read it for the first time today and i want eye bleach

**lanceylance:** we told him not to

**hunkerdunker:** I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS, I WAS OUT OF THE LOOP

**lotoreal:** i have concerns about clicking this link

**zethridofmyproblems:** DON’T

**dinezor:** DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

**acxalutelynot:** i advise against it

**hunkerdunker:** WHY HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE READ THAT ABOMINATION

**floronawiththecorona:** word spreads, i got curious after i found this random post on insta

**madplax:** we’re best friends so obviously she had to show me

**lanceylance:** keith and i spend too much time on the internet

**hunkerdunker:** CLEARLY

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...i found it all on my own

**hunkerdunker:** W T F

**shayfromstatefarm:** i found the weird part of the internet ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^ that’s how i found it

**acxalutelynot:** ezor sent it to me

**dinezor:** WEIRD PART OF THE INTERNET SQUAAAAAD

**lotoreal:** ...i am...in shock

**kogayne:** i’m not

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^

**kogayne:** i have a question why are we still on this topic, can we like,,,, talk about the holiday show tomorrow

**dinezor:** you’re no funnn

**kogayne:** wersdtrgs pfv rethrsgetrs

**lanceylance:** so does everyone know what they’re doing for the holiday show tomorrow

**lanceylance:** have you all looked over the scripts

**dinezor:** YEAH I’M SO HYPED TO MISS CLASS ALL DAY TOMORROW

**hunkerdunker:** break basically starts for us at the end of today

**shayfromstatefarm:** woooooooooooooo

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** PANIC RELEASED A NEW CHRISTMAS SONG I’M ALIVE

**takashmeoutside:** isn’t panic down to just urie now

**kogayne:** SHUT UP AND LET ME LIVE SHIRO

**allurable:** i’m sorry i can’t talk about panic right now i’m still thinking about tmf

**kogayne:** YOU ALL ARE AWFUL FRIENDS

**lanceylance:** baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe

**kogayne:** *except for lance and pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** (⌐■_■) 

**lanceylance:** (☞⌐■_■)☞ 

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(■_■)_/¯ 

**allurable:** is this a cult

**lanceylance:** cool kids only

**kogayne:** bye allura

**allurable:** :O

**hunkerdunker:** HOLD ON ZARKON’S MAKING A WEIRD ANNOUNCEMENT EVERYONE STOP TEXTING FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES

**allurable:** … :)

**kogayne:** BHOL SHITT 

**lanceylance:** BITCH THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** TELL ME I’M DREAMING THERE’S NO WAY THIS IS REAL

**allurable:** merry christmas we got your asshole principal fired

**shayfromstatefarm:** HIS LAST DAY IS TOMORROW AND WE WON’T EVEN BE IN CLASS I’M ALIVE

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** I’M LITERALLY CRYING TEARS OF JOY PLEASE MEET ME IN THE BATHROOM

**lanceylance:** COMIN MULLETMAN

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** aaand there’s final bell

**lanceylance:** every senior in this group chat is basically on vacation now!!

**carrierpidgeon:** MUST BE NICE

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE TWO QUIZZES TOMORROW

**hunkerdunker:** ouch

**shayfromstatefarm:** yikies

**kogayne:** what classes

**carrierpidgeon:** chem and english

**hunkerdunker:** gross

**carrierpidgeon:** tell me about it

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** are you ready

**lanceylance:** yeah, you want me drive?

**kogayne:** i’ll drive there, who drives back depends on what happens and how i am after

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** i love you <333

**kogayne:** i love you too

**kogayne:** thanks for agreeing to come with me

**lanceylance:** of course, what are husbands for

**kogayne:** <3

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**kogayne:** hey guys, good news, therapy didn’t suck, i only broke down twice

**takashmeoutside:** what???

**kogayne:** i’m okay now, i swear

**kogayne:** things got a little emotional but i’m okay now

**kogayne:** who’s ready for gratitudes??

**carrierpidgeon:** can we do two each to make up for missing yesterday

**kogayne:** sounds good to me, who’s starting

**allurable:** i think u should

**mattata:** ^^^^

**kogayne:** i’m grateful that my therapist was able to squeeze me in today, and also zarkon’s ass is out of a job

**lanceylance:** MOOD

**carrierpidgeon:** !!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m grateful that tomorrow’s a half day and that i don’t have any homework, i can go to bed at a decent hour maybe

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful that i'm getting out of class tomorrow and also that CAPRICORN SEASON STARTS TOMORROW

**lanceylance:** ahh buddy that’s your season!!!

**hunkerdunker:** yeah!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m grateful that tomorrow’s ugly sweater day, my favorite day, and also that we get to skip class to hang out together

**takashmeoutside:** im grateful that tomorrow’s my last day at work before christmas and that i get to spend my day wrapping gifts

**mattata:** u like gift wrapping?

**takashmeoutside:** it’s therapeutic

**mattata:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ anyway i’m grateful that i’m *not* gift wrapping and also that my mom made a shit ton of cookies

**carrierpidgeon:** OH WORM?

**allurable:** im grateful that i’m done with classes for the week and also my old lady friend knit me a scarf????

**takashmeoutside:** lmfao

**allurable:** i gotta get her something nice for next time i have class

**lanceylance:** ...am i the last one

**allurable:** yeah go ahead

**lanceylance:** im grateful for no calc tomorrow and also my boyfriend :)

**takashmeoutside:** nice round of gratitudes today kids

**allurable:** NOW GET SOME SLEEP

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** hey

**takashmeoutside:** what’s up

**lanceylance:** just texting to let you know about keith

**lanceylance:** he says he’s fine now but please watch out for him

**lanceylance:** he /did/ break down twice during therapy, and one of the breakdowns was /bad/

**lanceylance:** shaking, hyperventilating, shiro it was so bad i wanted to start crying too

**takashmeoutside:** what happened that his breakdown got that bad?

**lanceylance:** he was basically telling her what happened but it got to him

**lanceylance:** i don’t think he’s ever explained his situation out loud

**lanceylance:** i’ve never heard him like that and i never want to hear it again

**takashmeoutside:** he seems okay now...thanks for letting me know

**lanceylance:** no problem

**lanceylance:** and yeah, i definitely think talking about it helped him, but just watch out for him, alright?

**takashmeoutside:** are you asking me to watch out for my little brother

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** i mean i know you always do but like

**takashmeoutside:** im joking

**takashmeoutside:** is he the real reason you were up till 4:30 in the morning

**lanceylance:** woooow how did you knooow

**lanceylance:** but yes, he was

**lanceylance:** i wanted to make sure he was okay

**takashmeoutside:** thank you for that

**takashmeoutside:** but take care of yourself too

**lanceylance:** i will

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good night starlight

**lanceylance:** i love you more than words will ever be able to express

**kogayne:** :) i love you too

**kogayne:** thanks for coming with me today

**lanceylance:** of course

**lanceylance:** i’d do anything for you 

**lanceylance:** get some sleep, alright?

**kogayne:** you too

**kogayne:** night <3

**lanceylance:** night <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friday chapter is about halfway done :P
> 
> yeah so i was writing the milk fic part of this chapter on the school wifi and my friend was reading over my shoulder so she was trying to look up another raunchy trilogy when we were both called to the office bc we're both in drama and lemme just say, HEART ATTACK
> 
> also thanks for all ur kind words and support i love each and every one of you


	76. christmas eve eve eve aka friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's an assembly at school; keith and lance continue to be wildly in love with each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boop i ran out of inspiration for this :P

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning love of my life how are you

**kogayne:** texts like that honestly make me feel really fucking happy so i’m feeling great thanks

**lanceylance:** :))) am i picking u up

**kogayne:** sure if u want

**lanceylance:** bet i’ll be over in 20 minutes

**lanceylance:** be ready

**lanceylance:** also after i brought u home yesterday i went to target and bought us matching ugly sweaters, be prepped to put it on when i come over 

**lanceylance:** so like, if u wanna stay shirtless till i get there,,,

**kogayne:** why are u like this

**lanceylance:** because you’re beautiful

**lanceylance:** and also we’re gonna look adorable together in our sweaters

**kogayne:** i love you so much, you have no idea

**lanceylance:** if it’s anything like the way i love u,,,

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** seriously

**kogayne:** i can’t thank you enough for the last few weeks

**kogayne:** you haven’t had to take care of me

**lanceylance:** i /want/ to take care of you

**lanceylance:** i /want/ to protect you and keep you safe

**lanceylance:** you are everything to me

**lanceylance:** when get officially married i’m gonna husband the FUCK out of you, you absolutely wonderful human deserving of all the love in the universe

**kogayne:** ,,,,

**kogayne:** speaking of protecting

**kogayne:** yesterday you said u couldn’t sleep because you were having anxiety

**lanceylance:** i was lying

**lanceylance:** well, a little

**lanceylance:** i was watching you to make sure you were okay, you’d had a really rough day 

**lanceylance:** and before u start feeling guilty or tell me i didn’t have to, i know you’d do the same for me

**kogayne:** thank you 

**lanceylance:** i love you 

**kogayne:** i love you too

**kogayne:** see u soon

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**madplax:** SENIORS AND ANY UNDERCLASSMEN ON LIGHTS OR SOUND, GET YOUR ASSES TO THE AUDITORIUM SO WE CAN RUN THROUGH THIS A FEW TIMES BEFORE THE ASSEMBLIES

**carrierpidgeon:** SHOUTOUT TO LANCE FOR GETTING ME IN ON SOUND MY WONDERFUL BROTHER FIGURE

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

**madplax:** SPEAKING OF LANCE

**lanceylance:** hello, yes,

**madplax:** i sWEAR TO JESUS

**lanceylance:** [long sigh] i will not make out with keith backstage or stare at him so lovingly that i almost miss a cue

**madplax:** there ya go

**kogayne:** fight the power

**madplax:** u can hold hands for bows now chill

**kogayne:** let me love him

**lanceylance:** ^^^^

**madplax:** insufferable

**dinezor:** WISH ACXA WOULD MAKE OUT WITH ME BACKSTAGE

**acxalutelynot:** s t a n d a r d s

**lanceylance:** we have different standards ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** :D

**carrierpidgeon:** y’all are cute

**madplax:** MMMM

**madplax:** CAN YALL JUST GET HERE

**lanceylance:** mulletman and i are coming

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**allurable:** pidge sent us snaps of ur holiday skit, y’all are cute

**allurable:** whoever cast lotor as scrooge im wheezing

**lanceylance:** plax and flor worked on the script

**lanceylance:** very glad hunk and shay were cast as mr and mrs cratchit

**lanceylance:** bc i can’t be married to anyone but my husband

**hunkerdunker:** did u two run off and get married while we weren’t looking

**lanceylance:** no but the thought has crossed our minds

**takashmeoutside:** why am i not surprised

**kogayne:** i love him

**kogayne:** i would kill for him

**takashmeoutside:** don’t you mean you would die for him

**kogayne:** i know what i said

**kogayne:** lance give me the word and they’re dead

**allurable:** did something happen

**lanceylance:** no it’s just a general note

**lanceylance:** thanks babe ;D

**carrierpidgeon:** you two,,,,,

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re lucky to have each other

**mattata:** pidge? not roasting them?

**carrierpidgeon:** starting my new year’s resolution early

**mattata:** which is…?

**carrierpidgeon:** be nicer to klance in relation to klance

**lanceylance:** TOUCHED, TRULY

**carrierpidgeon:** [eye twitch]

**kogayne:** gonna completely change the subject, can someone give me a new show to watch

**kogayne:** bu isn’t gonna be back for a while

**carrierpidgeon:** one vine compilation per week

**lanceylance:** jacob sartorius

**shayfromstatefarm:** the entirety of the crash course channel

**hunkerdunker:** learn all of the epic rap battles of history videos by heart

**carrierpidgeon:** PERFORM THEM WITH ME

**takashmeoutside:** binge every youtube gamer ever

**kogayne:** ...SO DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME SHIRO TRIED TO START A GAMING CHANNEL

**takashmeoutside:** NO SHUT UP WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT

**mattata:** RTYJRHEHTYTESDNRTHE SHIRO SWORE ME TO SECRECY I CAN’T BREAK UP OUR VOW

**mattata:** THAT VOW WHEN WE WERE 12 WAS SACRED

**takashmeoutside:** IT STILL /IS/ SACRED NOW KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

**kogayne:** ...shirogamer

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** i can’t believe it took the district this long to fire my father

**acxalutelynot:** how are you holding up?

**lotoreal:** well, my father’s in a rage, as can be expected

**lotoreal:** he thought he was invincible, he clearly is not

**dinezor:** are you at home with him right now?

**lotoreal:** once it looked like he was going to start getting physical, i snuck off to the library

**zethridofmyproblems:** do you need a place to stay tonight?

**lotoreal:** probably

**zethridofmyproblems:** house is open 

**zethridofmyproblems:** i think we need to get the whole group together, it’s been a while

**sippinganartini:** can someone come get me

**dinezor:** i’ll get you!

**acxalutelynot:** lotor, got a way to zeth’s or did you run?

**lotoreal:** i ran

**lotoreal:** i would appreciate a ride

**acxalutelynot:** i’ll come get you

**dinezor:** sorry your dad’s a massive fucking dick

**lotoreal:** you and me both

**lotoreal:** i’m just glad to see him removed

**lotoreal:** maybe now people will stop taking their anger at him out on me

**zethridofmyproblems:** we hope so

**sippinganartini:** maybe with the break people will forget all about it come time to go back to school

**acxalutelynot:** and if they don’t, don’t hesitate to tell us

**dinezor:** ^^^^^!!

**lotoreal:** i’m beyond the point of being affected 

**dinezor:** mmmmm 

**zethridofmyproblems:** …

**lotoreal:** do you not believe me?

**acxalutelynot:** do you believe yourself 

**lotoreal:** ...how long until you can get here

**acxalutelynot:** should be about 5 minutes

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** I FORGOT TO FUCKING ASK BEFORE I BROUGHT YOU HOME

**kogayne:** are you finally proposing bc honestly over text isn’t the way to do it ur game is weakening 

**lanceylance:** etrhjyrhetherwt shut the fuck up keith

**kogayne:** :)

**lanceylance:** I MEANT

**lanceylance:** okay number one stop being cute wetegrw

**lanceylance:** I MEANT,

**lanceylance:** what do you and shiro usually do for christmas

**kogayne:** christmas eve is usually at the holt house with the alteas

**kogayne:** christmas day is usually at the alteas or our house, just us, no holts

**kogayne:** why

**lanceylance:** who’s hosting christmas day this year

**kogayne:** i’m like 99% sure it’s our turn

**lanceylance:** okay 

**lanceylance:** well uhhh

**lanceylance:** obviously i don’t wanna force you to do anything

**kogayne:** i sense a but

**lanceylance:** but

**lanceylance:** if there’s a chance u could sneak away from holt christmas for a while

**lanceylance:** my family mostly celebrates on the 24th, it’s this thing called nochebuena, basically christmas is celebrated on christmas eve

**lanceylance:** and like, actual christmas day is mostly eating leftovers and roasting everyone who came to visit the night before

**lanceylance:** and like, you saw how my family reacted to you on thanksgiving,

**lanceylance:** and some members

**lanceylance:** may

**lanceylance:** have gotten u a few things

**lanceylance:** and,,, i wanna see u,,,,

**lanceylance:** BUT IF YOU’RE BUSY AND CAN’T GET AWAY OR DON’T WANT TO LEAVE OR LOOK RUDE IT’S FINE

**kogayne:** one moment please

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** SHIRO I WANNA MARRY HIM

**takashmeoutside:** not again,

**kogayne:** HE

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** HE!!!!

**takashmeoutside:** is this some weird way of asking if u can duck out of christmas eve early to go to the mcclain house

**kogayne:** MAYBE

**takashmeoutside:** i mean you’re 18 technically i can’t stop you now so i appreciate you asking

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t see much of a problem, just don’t leave after an hour

**kogayne:** what kind of person do you take me for

**takashmeoutside:** just making sure

**kogayne:** ALSO

**takashmeoutside:** you wanna invite him over on christmas day don’t you

**kogayne:** YEAH

**takashmeoutside:** absolutely not

**kogayne:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** i’m joking

**kogayne:** [clutches chest] don’t do me dirty like this

**takashmeoutside:** are you being sarcastic with me

**kogayne:** you weren’t being serious i felt the need to return the favor

**takashmeoutside:** boi

**kogayne:** mayon

**takashmeoutside:** /what/

**kogayne:** like some people pronounce crayon as cran

**kogayne:** mayon

**takashmeoutside:** i dunno whether to pin this on too much time with lance or too much time with the holt siblings

**kogayne:** never too much time with lance

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes i wonder what’s gonna happen to u guys when the honeymoon phase finally wears off

**kogayne:** we stay committed bc we’re in this for the long haul and i love him, that’s what

**kogayne:** we’ve already seen each other at some of our lowest points and we’re not afraid to call each other and ourselves out, that’s called LOVE BITCH

**takashmeoutside:** don’t sass me kogane

**kogayne:** shut up shirogane

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** idk what time i’m coming over but christmas eve/nochebuena i’m COMING OVER

**lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**kogayne:** also

**kogayne:** if you have nothing to do on christmas day...pls come over…

**lanceylance:** ! ! ! ! ! ! !

**lanceylance:** YEAH I’LL COME OVER

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** what are you doing tomorrow

**lanceylance:** i can’t hang out i’ll tell you that right now, my mom’s got a shit ton of baking to do and i got roped into it

**kogayne:** damn i’ve got gift-wrapping to do i was hoping to bribe u into helping

**lanceylance:** sorry babe :P

**kogayne:** it’s alright,  i love you <33

**lanceylance:** :D love u too  <33333

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** chop chop people it’s time for gratitudes and then i have things to do

**lanceylance:** YOU CAN’T RUSH GRATITUDES PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** w a t c h  m e

**mattata:** and just what do you have to do that’s so important

**carrierpidgeon:** top secret holiday shenanigans, matthew

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYWAY I’M GRATEFUL FOR THE BREAK BEGINNING TODAY

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful that i spent the day goofing off in the auditorium

**takashmeoutside:** i did absolutely nothing today 10/10 would recommend

**allurable:** i made the best batch of christmas cookies i will ever make in my lifetime

**mattata:** i kicked some kid’s ass in call of duty and he shrieked that i was gay and i went “actually i’m bi” and he got real quiet and whispered “what the fuck” and logged out so that’s my gratitude, i will never top that moment

**allurable:** congratulations u ruined his life

**mattata:** GOOD

**mattata:** homophobic little shit got what was coming

**shayfromstatefarm:** nice

**shayfromstatefarm:** my gratitude is that my house is ready for christmas

**kogayne:** [distant muffled shrieking]

**lanceylance:** [LOUD AND IMMEDIATE SHRIEKING]

**carrierpidgeon:** #relatable

**lanceylance:** MY GRATITUDE IS THAT ZARKON’S FIRED FOR GOOD WOOOOO

**kogayne:** dammit lance u took mine

**kogayne:** so my gratitude is that we’ve successfully rid the school of morvok, paul, AND zarkon in like 4 months, what a team this group chat is

**carrierpidgeon:** rolo’s punk ass better watch out we’re coming for him next

**lanceylance:** nobody hurts our boyfriend and gets away with it

**lanceylance:** *my boyfriend, our boy

**mattata:** isn’t he out of chances

**mattata:** didn’t they consider expulsion for his last offense

**lanceylance:** ;) exactly 

**kogayne:** you guys :’)))

**lanceylance:** [INHALE]

**takashmeoutside:** oh dear

**lanceylance:** /I LOVE YOU BABYYYYYYY/

**kogayne:** htyrdrgsfdhmtyd

**takashmeoutside:** i think keith just threw his phone upstairs

**lanceylance:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA so i need to tell you where life's been in the last few days and where it's going (ALSO SIDE NOTE I DIDN'T REALIZE BEX WAS JEWISH/JEWISH HOLTS ARE A POPULAR HC UNTIL A COUPLE DAYS AGO AND I'D ALREADY HAD EVIDENCE FOR THE HOLTS CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS PLANTED IN THIS FANFIC AND OTHERS BEFOREHAND SO I APOLOGIZE BUT I'M RUNNING WITH THE CHRISTMAS THING)
> 
> 1\. i figured out why i've been so down lately: my period is coming within the week and that good ol' seasonal depression is kicking in. also, it's holiday time, and my mom makes me stressed tf out around the holidays. literally it's like 3 AM on christmas eve rn and i have 0 wrapping done, i'm about to pull an all-nighter so she doesn't murder me  
> 2\. the vld fandom was in some ace discourse on twitter today and i saw some things from accounts i follow that i wish i didn't so i've been kinda out of it today, i wasted several hours lying in bed doing nothing today (just like yesterday oops)  
> 3\. i'm gonna be busy the next few days bc family is here and there's still stuff to be done but i wanna do at least one christmas chapter. i may end up posting a oneshot instead, depending on how much writing i can get done, bc i want to write interactions that aren't over text, but we'll see, so i'm gonna be a really cliche youtuber for a minute: IF YOU WANNA KNOW WHEN I POST NEW FANFICS CONSIDER SUBSCRIBING TO ME :P
> 
> yeah, so like i said, 3 AM on christmas, time to do alllllllll the wrapping


	77. christmas eve!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's christmas eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao no christmas chapter considering it's already the 26th
> 
> i'm on vaca so expect more fic updates/oneshots outside of this fic
> 
>  
> 
> **tw for mentions of homophobia and biphobia**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** merry christmas eve starlight

**kogayne:** feliz nochebuena chico de las estrellas

**lanceylance:** DID YOU JUST

**kogayne:** mayyyyyybeeeee

**lanceylance:** that’s it nochebuena is cancelled nothing my family does can top this moment 

**lanceylance:** i love you so fucking much when are you coming

**kogayne:** how late does your family plan to spend hanging out

**lanceylance:** didkdjajajdk probably through like 1 AM

**kogayne:** alright well i get to the holt house at like, 5:30, so i’ll probably leave between 9:30 and 10 and head for your place

**kogayne:** the holts don’t go very late i’ll only be ditching like an hour early at most

**lanceylance:** !!!!! bet

**lanceylance:** im so excited to see u oh my god

**kogayne:** we just saw each other friday

**lanceylance:** i know but i missed u yesterday

**kogayne:** c o d e p e n d e n c e  i s  u n h e a l t h y

**lanceylance:** yeah i know and i know distance can do us good bc it’s supposed to show us how nice it is to be together and familiarity breeds contempt and all ur cute quirks are gonna be annoying one day and blah blah blah

**lanceylance:** but

**lanceylance:** have u considered

**lanceylance:** i still missed you a whole fuckin lot

**lanceylance:** bc ur my fuckin boyfriend/unofficial husband

**lanceylance:** and i love u

**kogayne:** aw babe :)

**lanceylance:** U USED BABE THIS IS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

**kogayne:** well i’m your baby and you're mine sooo 

**lanceylance:** WHAT is UP WITH YOU

**lanceylance:** what the FUCK IS UP KYLE

**kogayne:** christmas makes me sappy when it’s not making me sad

**kogayne:** and you make me sappy in general

**kogayne:** sappy 2

**kogayne:** (i’m trying to milk this for all it’s worth beforethe seasonal depression sets back in shhhh)

**lanceylance:** i support you whole-heartedly

**lanceylance:** so how did wrapping go

**kogayne:** i finished at 4 AM and got up at 7 

**lanceylance:** K E I T H

**kogayne:** did ur mom finish her baking

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** she never finishes

**lanceylance:** she set me free at like 11 at night

**lanceylance:** i crashed

**kogayne:** what time did u get up

**lanceylance:** just now

**kogayne:** ,,, so ur first thought was to text me

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** i love u so much it physically pains me sometimes

**lanceylance:** i wanna snuggle with u right now

**kogayne:** gotta wait till tonight starboy

**lanceylance:** are you going back home after, or are you staying over, or am i going over,,,

**kogayne:** well since christmas is at my place tomorrow i was gonna go home and help shiro do some last-minute prepping, and if u wanna come, if ur fam doesn’t mind,

**lanceylance:** if i have u ask my mom there’s no way she’ll say no

**lanceylance:** i’m like 99% sure she likes u better than me

**kogayne:** nooooo

**lanceylance:** yeeeeeaaaaah

**kogayne:** nooooOOOOOO

**lanceylance:** yeeeeeEEEEEAAAAAAH

**kogayne:** NOOOOOOOOO

**lanceylance:** YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** lance ur mom loves u

**lanceylance:** yeah but she loves u more

**kogayne:** how does she love me more than her own son

**lanceylance:** bc she doesn’t know u well enough yet ;P

**kogayne:** [clutches chest] i’m wounded

**lanceylance:** mmm what a shame [files nails]

**kogayne:** u ass

**lanceylance:** i have a great ass thank u

**kogayne:** why are u like this

**lanceylance:** whatever do u mean dearest boy of mine

**kogayne:** u know exactly what i mean

**lanceylance:** u know u love me when i’m extra as fuck

**kogayne:** i love u all the time but fine underestimate me or whatever

**lanceylance:** :P

**lanceylance:** i gotta go the mother is yelling at me and she’s threatening me with a shoe /and/ a spoon

**kogayne:** r u n

**kogayne:** see u tonight starboy  <3

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**allurable:** mother nature is really out here blessing us with snow tonight

**carrierpidgeon:** we haven’t seen a white christmas in so long i’M SO PUMPED

**mattata:** BIG MOOD i remember in like 2015 when it was fucking 70 degrees

**takashmeoutside:** dammit china

**allurable:** RTTYMRHETRTYRTHD

**kogayne:** I KNOW WE ALL HAVE THE SAME VIEWS BUT WE ARE NOT DOING POLITICS ON CHRISTMAS EVE OR DAY

**lanceylance:** usually when my family starts talking politics at least 2 people leave in a huff and someone starts going for character attacks

**kogayne:** oh no

**lanceylance:** don't worry that’s a dinner thing u won’t be here for that 

**carrierpidgeon:** can u film it

**lanceylance:** pidge i love u but i’m not trying to get killed by whichever relative spots me

**shayfromstatefarm:** if your relatives get like that why do u invite them back

**lanceylance:** idk it’s the adults and power plays or something like that

**allurable:** pettiness™ 

**lanceylance:** yeah basically

**hunkerdunker:** ur family dude,,,

**lanceylance:** hunk tía stella says hi and that she’s still waiting on ur fuckin flan recipe that u claim to have

**hunkerdunker:** I SWEAR I GAVE IT TO HER AT UR BIRTHDAY PARTY

**lanceylance:** welp!! she doesn’t have it!!

**hunkerdunker:** djsjsjsjwjw hold on

_ (2) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** HERE

**lanceylance:** she says thanks

**carrierpidgeon:** any reason you’re texting so much 

**lanceylance:** the one homophobic relative i have has arrived

**kogayne:** can i fight them

**hunkerdunker:** is it ur uncle,,,

**lanceylance:** he’s not my uncle yet, tía carmen needs to dump jackson’s crusty ass

**lanceylance:** nobody likes him

**lanceylance:** i can’t wait for emely to drag his ass at dinner

**carrierpidgeon:** isn’t that the sister with the kids 

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** ^

**lanceylance:** she’s threatened to fight jackson before

**hunkerdunker:** WAIT WHEN

**lanceylance:** THANKSGIVING

**kogayne:** WAIT HE WASN’T THERE WHEN I WAS THERE

**lanceylance:** HE GOT PISSY DURING DINNER SO THEY LEFT EARLY

**kogayne:** YOUVE GOTTA KEEP HIM THERE TILL I GET THERE 

**lanceylance:** WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF

**kogayne:** I WANNA SEE EMELY FIGHT HIM

**hunkerdunker:** congratulations lance this is the boy you wanna marry

**lanceylance:** well emely always was my favorite sibling and they’re a lot alike so,

**hunkerdunker:** smh im gonna go i’ve got family arriving

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^

**takashmeoutside:** yeahhh, keith you gotta come downstairs we’ve gotta leave soon

**allurable:** !!! i’m gonna leave soon too

**mattata:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY LOVES ARE COMING

**lanceylance:** must be nice

**kogayne:** i’ll be over soon enough <333

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry mcclain i’ve got claim on your boyfriend for a while ╭∩╮(■_■)╭∩╮

**kogayne:** i’ll destroy her in mario kart don’t worry

**carrierpidgeon:** nah son we’re playing space defenders

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**lanceylance:** smh i’ll go do battle with jackson then

**lanceylance:** gotta tell my mom to stop letting him come back

**lanceylance:** ...am i alone now

**lanceylance:** YEP BYE

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

_ (2) videos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** i risked my life for these

**carrierpidgeon:** SKSKDALJDHFEKSKCW

**kogayne:** ew is that jackson

**lanceylance:** yeah

**kogayne:** how come you’ve never told us about him before

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE OF THIS, HE’S AN EMBARRASSMENT

**kogayne:** every family has those

**mattata:** that’s usually my job ;D

**lanceylance:** shsjslwksn i just don’t like talking about him he’s gross and awful 

**lanceylance:** i never actually came out to him he just kinda found out

**shayfromstatefarm:** wait what

**lanceylance:** i didn’t think it was important to tell him and then last christmas i mentioned “boyfriend” and i shit you not he did a spit take

**lanceylance:** i was already out to the rest of my family like 2 years or so before that

**lanceylance:** we collectively remembered that no one said anything to him or tía carmen

**carrierpidgeon:** o m f g

**lanceylance:** since then he’s been an ass about it

**lanceylance:** always making comments when i’m around to hear

**lanceylance:** so leading up to /this/ he said some shit 

**lanceylance:** it wasn’t nice shit

**kogayne:** do u wanna share so i know just how badly i need to hurt him

**lanceylance:** calm down knight it’s christmas you’re not doing any fighting

**lanceylance:** i mean for him to /really/ hurt me i would need to value his opinion but ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** he just,,, said some generic homophobic stuff, kept calling me gay instead of bi bc apparently being bi is “just a phase,” yknow the usual bullshit

**lanceylance:** em apparently didn’t like it and she wENT OFF

**lanceylance:** god i love my sister

**kogayne:** are you okay tho

**lanceylance:** ?? yeah i’m fine

**lanceylance:** like i’m not even lying 

**lanceylance:** bc right after this video jackson got up and walked out and tía carmen called him

**lanceylance:** and dUMPED HIS ASS

**lanceylance:** MCCLAIN FAMILY 4738, JACKASS 0

**kogayne:** NICE

**hunkerdunker:** HOLY SHIT

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M YELLING

**lanceylance:** tía carmen apologized for him wisksjdjej i’m LIVING 

**mattata:** A VICTORY FOR THE GAYS

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** so i don’t need to be gross with u in front of ur family now lance

**lanceylance:** i mean u still could if u wanted to

**lanceylance:** “im so glad he’s gone, i was about to throw him out myself. couldn’t have him here when keith gets here.” -mama mcclain, 12/24/17, 8:15 PM

**kogayne:** lance i love your mom

**hunkerdunker:** who doesn’t

**lanceylance:** jackson probably 

**carrierpidgeon:** ur homophobic not-uncle can choke

**lanceylance:** welp ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** okay gotta go!! my fam is getting suspicious!!!!

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** how not to do a 3-way mistletoe kiss: a guide co-written by allura altea, matthew holt, and takashi shirogane 

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** matt,,, buddy,,,,,

**mattata:** I’VE BEEN BETRAYED

**takashmeoutside:** pidge is dead to me

**allurable:** why am i dating them

**allurable:** Utter Embarrassments

**mattata:** i already told u i’m the family embarrassment u signed up for this

**takashmeoutside:** when we became friends when we were 5 i was unaware excuse me

**mattata:** too late eat a dick

**takashmeoutside:** u free later

**carrierpidgeon:** you two are banned from all future holt gatherings allura is the only one allowed back

**allurable:** hell yeah

**takashmeoutside:** dammit mart

**carrierpidgeon:** mart

**lanceylance:** marty the zebra? walmart?

**kogayne:** paul mart blall cop

**mattata:** shiro you are dead to me

**mattata:** keith, you too, solely for the paul blart joke

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** are you really all texting in the same room 

**carrierpidgeon:** maybe

**lanceylance:** did u guys do space defenders yet

**carrierpidgeon:** whooped keith’s ass

**kogayne:** unfortunately

**kogayne:** we’re switching to mario kart now, i’ll give u an update after gaynbow road

**hunkerdunker:** hi, been lurking, had to let u know that joke made me almost choke to death 

**kogayne:** WHOOPS SORRY

**lanceylance:** keith how dare

**lanceylance:** you almost killed my BEST FRIEND

**kogayne:** There Can Only Be One

**kogayne:** square up hunk

**hunkerdunker:** fight me keith

**kogayne:** oh so we’re really doing this, okay then

**kogayne:** what’s your weapon of choice

**hunkerdunker:** my SELF

**carrierpidgeon:** rip keith

**lanceylance:** rest in pieces

**kogayne:** shit u right

**shayfromstatefarm:** nobody can beat my boyfriend

**kogayne:** hunk is too nice if i actually tried to fight him i’d feel too guilty

**hunkerdunker:** i am a ray of sunshine,

**hunkerdunker:** you get hurt if you touch me

**shayfromstatefarm:** lmfao

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey, i’m leaving the holts’ place now

**kogayne:** i’ll be over soon

**lanceylance:** it’s snowing, drive safe!!

**kogayne:** what kind of person do u take me for, i am all about safety

**lanceylance:** u dick

**kogayne:** ,,,,yes i do have a nice dick

**lanceylance:** ERYTJRHENYRTH DUDE

**kogayne:** :P yeah i’ll be safe, love u

**lanceylance:** love u too

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i hear so much gossip with lance’s family especially when half of them are drunk holy shit

**takashmeoutside:** are you here to text me about the latest gossip

**kogayne:** well no, i was gonna gush about my boyfriend bc i CAN’T WITH HIM, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, but i just wanted to let u know

**takashmeoutside:** one of these days i’m gonna come to u gushing about matt and allura and you’re gonna have to endure it

**kogayne:** gladly

**kogayne:** /anyway/

**kogayne:** first of all u know how i gush about him and wanting to marry him all the time to u

**takashmeoutside:** unfortunately

**kogayne:** asshole

**takashmeoutside:** damn right, continue

**kogayne:** so like, his mom greets us and she basically told me lance does the same thing about me with her, i’m?????

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** i swear u two are gonna end up eloping and not telling anyone

**kogayne:** ...nooo

**kogayne:** ANYWAY and then he brought me upstairs and gave me an early christmas gift and???? HE MADE US MATCHING BRACELETS THAT HAVE OUR INITIALS INSIDE OF A HEART, AND ALSO HE GOT ME A RED POLAROID CAMERA, I’M??????

**kogayne:** i wanna marry him 

**kogayne:** I WANNA /MARRY THE FUCK OUT OF HIM/, SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** i can tell

**takashmeoutside:** nice to know, stop texting me, go hang out 

**kogayne:** ALRIGHT BYEEE

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** 12 AM FELIZ NAVIDAD

**mattata:** HAPPY CRIMMUS

**takashmeoutside:** IT’S CHRISMIN

**kogayne:** MERRY CRISIS

**carrierpidgeon:** MERRY CHRYSLER

**hunkerdunker:** murr chrimsus

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...merry christmas…?

**allurable:** MANAGEABLE CHRYSANTHEMUMS

**carrierpidgeon:** vine kids, normal kid, allura

**kogayne:** magnus chase

**mattata:** nerd

**carrierpidgeon:** mango cheese

**lanceylance:** marriage counseling

**hunkerdunker:** multitudinous chickens

**shayfromstatefarm:** why am i in this group chat

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** keith and i got to his house safe, buenas noches y feliz navidad

**mamamcclain:** buenas noches y feliz navidad, hijo

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYONE STILL UP FOR GRATITUDES OR IS THAT JUST NOT HAPPENING? BC MATT PASSED THE FUCK OUT

**lanceylance:** keith’s out and i’m pretty sure i can hear shiro snoring upstairs

**allurable:** i’m too tired

**shayfromstatefarm:** i was about to go to bed

**shayfromstatefarm:** and i think hunk already went to sleep, holidays usually have him out early, i was actually surprised he was up at midnight

**carrierpidgeon:** ALRIGHT THEN GOOD NIGHT I’M RIDING THIS SUGAR HIGH BY MYSELF GONNA GO FUCK SHIT UP ON STEAM BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bloop i'm here to do shameless self-promo, i posted two new oneshots in the last two days
> 
>  **[a knight in dented armor](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13133343)** >>> fic request for instagram user **cursedraccoon** , ft. tender klance and a cockblocking cat.  
>  **[just want you here tonight](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13153149)** >>> klancemas eve oneshot set during this chapter, in which keith goes to lance's house for christmas eve, ft. a duet and mrs. mcclain being proud of her sons.
> 
> see y'all in the next one


	78. Pidge Has a Confession; Lotor Has a Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge has a confession; lotor's got a crisis; klance are still in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _WAKE UP AND SMELL THE PROJECTION_
> 
> it's 11:37 AM and i wrote this entire chapter this morning, who am i
> 
> i've got stuff to talk about in my personal life in the end note :P
> 
> ALSO IDK IF YOU NOTICED BUT I CHANGED MY USERNAME TO MATCH MOST OF MY OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA, I WAS PREVIOUSLY **SASSYSUNSHINE** BUT I AM NOW **NERDYSPACEACE** , I MADE THE ANNOUNCEMENT ON INSTAGRAM (@ NERDYSPACEACE) BUT HERE IT IS AGAIN IN CASE U MISSED IT
> 
> okay carry on 
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING FOR IMPLIED/REFERENCED/DISCUSSED *PHYSICAL* ABUSE**

**_carrierpidgeon_** _added_ ** _kogayne_** _,_ ** _mattata_** _,_ _and_ ** _takashmeoutside_** _to_ ** _I’M HAVING A CRISIS_**

**kogayne:** what’s going on

**kogayne:** do i need to hurt someone

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M HAVING A CRISIS AND I’M SCARED I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

**mattata:** DID SOMEONE HURT YOU

**mattata:** WHERE ARE YOU

**takashmeoutside:** DO YOU NEED SOMEONE TO PICK YOU UP

**carrierpidgeon:** I FORGOT YOU ALL DON’T STOP TO LISTEN HOLD ON LEMME PUT A VOICE OF REASON IN THIS CHAT

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added  _ **_allurable_ ** _ to  _ **_I’M HAVING A CRISIS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** ALLURA I’M HAVING A CRISIS AND I NEED HELP I’M SCARED AND DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

**mattata:** PIDGE IF YOU DON’T EXPLAIN IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES I’M TRACKING YOUR LOCATION

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M AT THE MALL

**carrierpidgeon:** MATT I TOLD YOU THIS MORNING I WAS GOING TO THE MALL WITH THAT GIRL FROM CHEM

**carrierpidgeon:** SHERRIE, REMEMBER HER

**mattata:** OH YEAH

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M HERE WITH HER AND A COUPLE OTHER GIRLS AND LIKE 2 GUYS AND????

**carrierpidgeon:** I

**carrierpidgeon:** FUCK I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS SOMEONE HELP ME

**kogayne:** ...pidge i need you to very slowly try and describe what you’re feeling as best you can

**allurable:** sorry i just looked at my phone what the hell is going on

**allurable:** ...oh my god

**carrierpidgeon:** HHHHH CAN YOU ALL STOP REACTING LIKE THAT I’M GETTING ANXIOUS OVER HERE

**kogayne:** breathe, nessie denier

**kogayne:** tell me how you feel

**kogayne:** ignore all of them

**kogayne:** focus on me, what’s going on

**mattata:** rude

**kogayne:** matt, /shut the fuck up/

**carrierpidgeon:** so like

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhhhh i don’t

**carrierpidgeon:** okay like

**carrierpidgeon:** MMMMM MY BRAIN WON’T WORK

**kogayne:** do the best you can

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ve been getting closer to sherrie at school, right

**carrierpidgeon:** like i would consider us friends

**carrierpidgeon:** so like,

**carrierpidgeon:** she invited me to go to the mall

**carrierpidgeon:** and none of us were doing anything so i was like OH YEAH SURE I’LL GO, I COULD USE SOME FRIENDS

**kogayne:** we’re proud of you for that

**kogayne:** go on

**carrierpidgeon:** bUT THEN

**carrierpidgeon:** f fu cl 

**carrierpidgeon:** u know how it’s like

**carrierpidgeon:** supposed to be a ~thing~ that girls throw “no homo” out the window

**carrierpidgeon:** like it’s this thing that we generally don’t give a fuck if we come across as very homo

**allurable:** yep

**allurable:** that’s how i figured out i was pan

**carrierpidgeon:** …

**allurable:** ...pidge…

**carrierpidgeon:** I MIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** NOT BE AS ARO AS I THOUGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** I THINK

**carrierpidgeon:** I MIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** u know when ur computer is running slow so u put in like 20 commands and then the computer catches up and they go off all at once and it’s chaos

**mattata:** ye

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT’S HOW MY BRAIN FEELS RIGHT NOW

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** take ur time it’s okay

**carrierpidgeon:** I MIGHT BE HOMOROMANTIC

**carrierpidgeon:** OR LIKE, DEMIHOMOROMANTIC? IS THAT EVEN A THING

**kogayne:** do you have a crush on sherrie

**carrierpidgeon:** ...yes

**carrierpidgeon:** everything was fINE but then one day after we got closer thINGS STARTED TO CHANGE

**kogayne:** call it my ~gaydar~ or whatever you wanna call it but that sounds demihomoromantic to me, that’s definitely a thing

**kogayne:** unless you like boys too

**carrierpidgeon:** i have never looked at a boy like i just looked at sherrie

**kogayne:** ur a gayce congrats

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** [shrieks even louder]

**kogayne:** do u want me to come pick u up, or come secretly scope out the situation

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhh yeah pls come i need someone here 

**kogayne:** do i have permission to bring and/or tell lance, or do u just want me there

**carrierpidgeon:** idk if i’m ready to tell the rest of the group chat,,,,,,

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** i’ll be there soon

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll text u whatever store we’re at when u get here

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_< 3_ **

**mattata:** WELL THAT WAS SOMETHING

**takashmeoutside:** wow, keith really /is/ the only person in the group chat who doesn’t like girls

**mattata:** HOW DID HE MANAGE TO GET THROUGH TO HER

**allurable:** that cryptkid bond

**allurable:** i’m proud of her for coming to terms with it

**mattata:** i’m mostly just concerned that she’s on the edge of an anxiety attack at the mall

**allurable:** well that’s why keith’s going to watch out for her 

**allurable:** like a super secret spy

**mattata:** should i go too

**mattata:** just like

**mattata:** extra protection

**allurable:** why don’t we all go

**mattata:** the whole gc?

**takashmeoutside:** *this* gc

**mattata:** ah

**mattata:** AW HELL YEAH DATE DAY

**allurable:** i’m gonna teach you two how to properly do an escape room

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me

**mattata:** WE HAD MALL RECORD FOR A LONG FUCKIN TIME

**mattata:** IF KASHI WASN’T SO BAD AT MATH

**takashmeoutside:** IF MEMELORD COULD SOLVE BASIC RIDDLES

**allurable:** smh i’m teaching you how to win

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** MORNIN SUNSHINE

**lanceylance:** HOW IS MY FAVORITE PERSON

**kogayne:** stuck in traffic

**lanceylance:** where are you that you’re stuck in traffic and why are you tEXTING WHILE DRIVING

**kogayne:** it’s bumper to bumper, i’m hardly moving, and i’ve got text to speech on

**kogayne:** extra safe

**lanceylance:** okay but where are you?

**kogayne:** on my way to the mall to do some last minute shopping before new year’s eve

**lanceylance:** and i wasn’t invited i am hURT

**kogayne:** :P

**lanceylance:** so is that what you’re doing today

**lanceylance:** roaming the mall for gifts

**kogayne:** yep

**kogayne:** idk when i’ll be getting home

**kogayne:** sorry starboy

**lanceylance:** it’s fine

**lanceylance:** u have fun, be careful, don’t get into a fight with a knife salesman

**kogayne:** no promises ;)

**lanceylance:** text me when u get home so i know ur safe!!

**kogayne:** i’ll snapchat u stupid stuff, don’t worry

**lanceylance:** <33333

**kogayne:** <3

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** u doin anything today, hunketh

**hunkerdunker:** nah why

**lanceylance:** wanna have an Us Day

**hunkerdunker:** :) sure

**lanceylance:** bet

**lanceylance:** i cover games and movies, u got snacks?

**hunkerdunker:** wouldn’t have it any other way

 

**_HOLIDAY HOES_ **

**_shayfromstatefarm_** _renamed_ ** _HOLIDAY HOES_** _to_ ** _the weird space between xmas and nye_**

**shayfromstatefarm:** IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR WHERE TIME DOESN’T EXIST AND DAYLIGHT HOURS ARE MEANINGLESS

**shayfromstatefarm:** AKA IT’S NOON AND I JUST WOKE UP I AM A SHAM

**hunkerdunker:** good afternoon darling

**shayfromstatefarm:** good afternoon hunky

**lanceylance:** since u all get grossed out by me and keith can i just,

**shayfromstatefarm:** no

**hunkerdunker:** absolutely not

**lanceylance:** >:P

**shayfromstatefarm:** why is this: :P 

**shayfromstatefarm:** a group chat favorite

**lanceylance:** playful yet versatile

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^ basically

**shayfromstatefarm:** mmm anyway where is everyone else why is the gc dead, is everyone still sleeping

**lanceylance:** keith’s off on his own mission aka last minute shopping, idk where the others are

**lanceylance:** asleep? out? phones dead? idk man ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** everyone’s alive just busy

**lanceylance:** hey question i know we’re all hanging out on NYE but /who the fuck is hosting/

**allurable:** I CAN HOST

**hunkerdunker:** awesome, that just means i have less cleaning at /my/ house to do this week

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll still bring food tho!!

**lanceylance:** i can’t wait for the secret santa gift swap, my person’s gonna have a great time

**hunkerdunker:** i would be afraid for your person but you’re generally good at gifts

**lanceylance:** ‘,;)

**hunkerdunker:** nvm i’m mildly afraid for your person now

**shayfromstatefarm:** still not as afraid for lance’s person as i am for matt’s

**hunkerdunker:** rip to whichever poor soul that is

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** u here yet

**kogayne:** just got here, sorry

**kogayne:** there was an accident on the highway, it took forever to get off and take the backroads

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s okay

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ve been dragged into VS

**kogayne:** ...yeah i’m gonna wait outside

**kogayne:** or like,,,

**kogayne:** isn’t there a JCPenney across from VS

**carrierpidgeon:** ye

**kogayne:** yeah i’ll be hanging out over there

**carrierpidgeon:** okay

**carrierpidgeon:** um, thanks for coming

**kogayne:** any time, nessie denier

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**_lotoreal_ ** _ left  _ **_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**dinezor:** uhhh 

**acxalutelynot:** what the fuck

**zethridofmyproblems:** well this isn’t alarming /at all/

**sippinganartini:** um

**dinezor:** you don’t think something’s going on, do you?

**dinezor:** like, with his dad?

**acxalutelynot:** SHIT

**acxalutelynot:** /SHIT/

**zethridofmyproblems:** should we add him back??

**sippinganartini:** if he left because he doesn’t want his dad to see anything, then his dad probably has his phone, or is going through it

**acxalutelynot:** fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

**dinezor:** should one of us try /calling/ and seeing what’s up

**acxalutelynot:** probably

**acxalutelynot:** i’ll do it

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**acxalutelynot:** so the call ended with a phone getting smashed

**acxalutelynot:** specifically, lotor’s

**dinezor:** oh my god

**zethridofmyproblems:** he needs to get out of that house

**zethridofmyproblems:** things were bad but ever since his dad got fired they’ve been worse

**acxalutelynot:** i’m gonna go drive over and lurk near his house

**dinezor:** we’ve gotta do something about this

**sippinganartini:** he’s still a minor for a few more months, his dad still legally has charge

**zethridofmyproblems:** does he have another relative he can stay with or something?

**dinezor:** his mom and dad had like, a falling out, but as far as i know she’s just as dangerous to him

**dinezor:** and idk if he has other relatives

**dinezor:** or like, ones willing to take him in

**acxalutelynot:** he needs emancipation is what he needs

**dinezor:** isn’t that a difficult process

**acxalutelynot:** there’s a bunch of legal bullshit 

**zethridofmyproblems:** ...you know keith

**acxalutelynot:** i’m pretty sure we all know keith

**dinezor:** lance made sure we knew keith

**zethridofmyproblems:** okay well doesn’t he live with his cousin

**zethridofmyproblems:** shiro or whatever

**dinezor:** ...oh my god doesn’t shiro go out with alfor altea’s daughter

**zethridofmyproblems:** ding ding ding

**dinezor:** ZETH YOU’RE A GENIUS

**zethridofmyproblems:** thanks i try

**dinezor:** here i’m gonna make a group chat

 

 ** _dinezor_** _added_ ** _acxalutelynot_** _,_ ** _zethridofmyproblems_** _,_ ** _sippinganartini_** _,_ _and_ ** _kogayne_** _to_ ** _WE HAVE A PROBLEM_**

**kogayne:** this is the second crisis group chat i’ve been in today, what’s going on

**dinezor:** second?

**kogayne:** not important, what’s going on

**dinezor:** we need a way to get into contact with allura altea, and since your cousin is dating her, we figured you were the fastest way there

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** why do you need to get into contact with allura

**sippinganartini:** lotor

**kogayne:** what happened to lotor?

**dinezor:** okay so i’m pretty sure you know by now his dad is a piece of shit

**dinezor:** he’s also abusive and ever since he got fired it’s been worse

**dinezor:** this morning lotor left our group chat so we called to see what was going on and his phone got smashed

**acxalutelynot:** lotor needs emancipation

**acxalutelynot:** his situation isn’t safe

**acxalutelynot:** legally, he can’t just walk out, because he’s 17 and still considered a minor

**kogayne:** hold on, i’m actually gonna add allura to this chat

**_kogayne_ ** _ added  _ **_allurable_ ** _ to  _ **_WE HAVE A PROBLEM_ **

**allurable:** this is the second crisis chat today, keith

**allurable:** ...wait who are you people, i don’t have these numbers

**dinezor:** ezor!

**acxalutelynot:** i’m acxa

**zethridofmyproblems:** zethrid

**sippinganartini:** narti

**allurable:** oh you’re lotor’s friends

**allurable:** what’s up

_(2)_ _photos from_ ** _acxalutelynot_**

**acxalutelynot:** lotor needs help

**allurable:** shit

**allurable:** have you been able to get into contact with him since his phone was smashed?

**acxalutelynot:** i’m on his street near his house, and things are suspiciously quiet

**acxalutelynot:** ...hold on

**allurable:** okay, while she takes care of whatever that is, i’m going to call my father

**allurable:** if there’s any concrete evidence you can find of zarkon’s abuses, document them, gather them, do whatever you need to do

**allurable:** this kind of thing will take some time so i want this to move as quickly as we can make it

**allurable:** once you get into contact with lotor again, please contact my father directly

_ (1) link from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** this link includes his email address, his phone number, and his mailing address

**sippinganartini:** will do

**dinezor:** thank you

**allurable:** of course

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**acxalutelynot:** hi everyone, i’m...as okay as i can be -lotor

**dinezor:** what /happened/

**acxalutelynot:** my father needed somewhere to project his anger, and i made the mistake of coming downstairs for breakfast -lotor

**zethridofmyproblems:** holy shit

**acxalutelynot:** acxa’s taking me to the walk-in -lotor

**dinezor:** WHAT

**acxalutelynot:** i’m okay, just need to get a few things checked. i…don’t want to talk about it. in any capacity, we’ll be able to provide medical documentation for this. acxa showed me the other group chat. thank you, for reaching out. -lotor

**sippinganartini:** we’ve got you

**dinezor:** jeez 

**acxalutelynot:** once we’re through at the walk-in...can we all meet up at acxa’s? -lotor

**sippinganartini:** yeah

**zethridofmyproblems:** sure

**dinezor:** omw now

 

**_the weird space between xmas and nye_ **

**kogayne:** today’s been a day

**carrierpidgeon:** tell me about it

**allurable:** you have no idea

**lanceylance:** ...is everyone okay?

**kogayne:** i mean, yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** i...have something to confess

**shayfromstatefarm:** you okay, pidge?

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah, uh

**kogayne:** it’s okay

**carrierpidgeon:** um

**carrierpidgeon:** fuck 

**carrierpidgeon:** i

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m not as aro as i thought

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m like

**carrierpidgeon:** 86% sure i’m demihomoromantic

**carrierpidgeon:** still ace

**carrierpidgeon:** but uh

**carrierpidgeon:** i have a thing for girls

**carrierpidgeon:** i think

**carrierpidgeon:** still a little questioning

**carrierpidgeon:** tentative label

**carrierpidgeon:** uh...surprise

**shayfromstatefarm:** !!!!!!

**hunkerdunker:** aw pidge!!

**lanceylance:** congrats on figuring something out!!

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks

**carrierpidgeon:** nowplsstopfocusingonmeplschangethesubjectidon’twantattention

**mattata:** allura tried to show me and shiro how to “properly” do an escape room and we fucked up so badly that we didn’t even beat our old score

**allurable:** they’re hopeless

**takashmeoutside:** matt still can’t solve riddles

**mattata:** AND KASHI STILL CAN’T DO MATH

**takashmeoutside:** I HAVE 3 STEM DEGREES I’M PRETTY SURE I CAN DO MATH

**mattata:** AND YOU WORK AT A FUCKING TARGET

**takashmeoutside:** SO DO YOU

**lanceylance:** hunk and i had a great day together thanks for asking

**hunkerdunker:** :P

**lanceylance:** we beat our high scores on space defenders, he kicked my ass at mario kart, and then somehow beat me at ddr

**kogayne:** /hunk/ beat /you/ at dance dance revolution

**hunkerdunker:** absolutely crushed him

**lanceylance:** i’m changing my name and fleeing the country, i can’t show my face in public anymore

**hunkerdunker:** i made up for it by apologizing with some new snack recipes

**lanceylance:** AND THEY ARE FANTASTIC

**lanceylance:** shay are u sure i can’t have him

**shayfromstatefarm:** smh you’re gonna have to talk to keith about this too

**kogayne:** mmmmm boi

**lanceylance:** ;D

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** pssst

**lanceylance:** [looks around]

**lanceylance:** [drops voice to whisper]

**lanceylance:** i still like u best~

**kogayne:** :P suuuuuure u do

**kogayne:** ;)

**kogayne:** and uh

**kogayne:** i lied a little about today

**lanceylance:** ...what

**kogayne:** nothing big, it was for pidge

**kogayne:** she was at the mall with some friends when she made her discovery

**kogayne:** she needed me there

**kogayne:** she wasn’t sure when to come out with it to the rest of the gc

**kogayne:** sorry i didn’t tell you

**lanceylance:** it’s okay

**lanceylance:** it took me like 3 weeks to tell hunk i was bi, i get the feeling

**kogayne:** i don’t like lying to you,

**lanceylance:** but sometimes u gotta

**lanceylance:** look, as long as you’re not lying about anything super important, and you’re not cheating on me, i’m okay with it

**lanceylance:** we’re going out but we’re still individuals, there are some things we keep to ourselves

**lanceylance:** and we have other friends, and there are things we keep between us and them

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** i’m just making sure

**lanceylance:** i know and i appreciate it  <3

**lanceylance:** listen, i trust you

**lanceylance:** i know you won’t hurt me

**kogayne:** and i know /you/ won’t hurt /me/

**lanceylance:** trust is what makes a relationship work

**lanceylance:** and that, combined with communication, is what makes it last

**kogayne:** it’s things like this that make me love u even more

**lanceylance:** oh?

**kogayne:** you’re calm about this

**kogayne:** you know what to say

**kogayne:** you’re reassuring

**lanceylance:** you don’t grow up in a huge family without picking up on stuff ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**kogayne:** see, i never had that

**kogayne:** the closest thing i’ve had to a stable family has been shiro and the holts

**kogayne:** i’m always waiting for someone else to come along and then leave me

**kogayne:** i never had parents or siblings to look up to

**kogayne:** i just...i get anxious sometimes, thinking i might do something and you’ll leave, too

**lanceylance:** The Glitter Is Not Leaving

**lanceylance:** but in all seriousness, i know

**lanceylance:** i’m here for you every step of the way

**lanceylance:** i love you

**kogayne:** i love you too

**kogayne:** and lance?

**lanceylance:** yeah?

**kogayne:** please don’t ever feel guilted into staying

**lanceylance:** shhhhhhhhhhhhh we’re not going there, look at that promise ring, we’re in this for life

**lanceylance:** are you home

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** can i come over

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** listen

**lanceylance:** if i wasn’t /sure/ you were the one, i wouldn’t have introduced you to my family and had you come over for nochebuena

**lanceylance:** i never understood people who could bring a person home to their family, dump them, and then bring over the next bae like it’s nothing

**lanceylance:** if i take u to meet my family, you’re pretty damn special

**lanceylance:** now, i’m coming over

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** i really, really love you

**lanceylance:** <333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay notes time sit on the edge of the stage kids [flips open script]
> 
> 1\. i'm going the serious route with lotor here. if i fuck up or something comes off as especially disrespectful, please let me know, bc child abuse is a _serious_ issue and i don't wanna downplay it
> 
> 2\. "why does keith get anxious like this like, every five chapters" bc he has anxiety and needs constant reassurance and he's never had constants in his life the way lance has, he's a scared boy in love, moving on (no one's actually asked this i'm just getting out of the way before someone gets fed up and _does_ ask)
> 
> 3\. YEAH SO UHH PIDGE'S ARC...a lot of u were calling her aro in the comments in the last few chapters and i'm sitting here with this arc planned like "...weLP SHIT". she's still on the aro spectrum, demi specifically, but in relation to girls only. bc uhhhh...yeah hi, uh, i think _i_ might be demi _bi_ ro. uhhh yeAH that's a thing. i know i'm definitely demiro, but for a while now i've been questioning whether i liked guys _and_ girls...(this questioning has been going on for like, probably a year or more now) and uh, if i'm questioning for over a year...there's probably some validity to it...so hi, second time coming out, sort of, i'm still kinda questioning, not sure if i should put a label on it, i just know that...there's a strong possibility i like girls. and guys. but still don't wanna fuck either of 'em. demibiro-ace. i'm rambling MOVING ON
> 
> 4\. i think that's it? i had a pretty good christmas, thanks for all the well-wishes. i'm aiming for a new chapter of SGD this week as well as a couple more fic requests, so keep an eye out


	79. the saturday chapter goin up on a tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance is in love ft. an update on lotor's situation and the great Emo VS Prep War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I HAD 0 INSPIRATION AND WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY EXTENDED AMOUNT OF WRITING TIME TO WORK ON STARS GO DOWN I'LL TALK MORE IN THE END NOTE

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i wish you were awake right now

**kogayne:** i m acrualy crying

**kogayne:** i just love you so much

**kogayne:** everything about you is perfect and i don’t deserve you you’re such a good person and i’m??! not????

**kogayne:** you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i don’t know how or why i got so lucky but holy shi

**kogayne:** im literally sobbing it’s 4’in the fucking morning and i’m crying over how much i love you

**kogayne:** why can’t we be married why can’t we permanently live together i just wanna spend the rest of my life with you 

**kogayne:** you make me feel safe and like everything is okay and!?? i miss you so much right now 

**kogayne:** even tho i just saw u like 12 hours ago 

**kogayne:** i’ve never ever wanted anyone the way i want you 

**kogayne:** sometimes it hurts to breathe my chest aches oh my god i

**kogayne:** i’m so in love with you

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** you have to kill me you have to

**hunkerdunker:** lance, 

**hunkerdunker:** it is 9 in the morning 

**hunkerdunker:** what could you possibly have gotten into

**lanceylance:** my fUCKIN BOYFRIEND

**hunkerdunker:** did keith get into a fight

**hunkerdunker:** is he okay

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** i have to die

**lanceylance:** hE WAS ALONE AND CRYING AND I DIDN’T HEAR MY PHONE GO OFF

**hunkerdunker:** [looks into the camera like i’m on the office]

**hunkerdunker:** do you two ever chill

**lanceylance:** HELP ME

**lanceylance:** if i tear my heart out of my chest and wrap it do u think he’ll like it

**hunkerdunker:** i mean he takes forensics,

**lanceylance:** okay good, help me surgically remove it

**hunkerdunker:** okay, dude, all you really have to do is text him back

**hunkerdunker:** u did text him back, right

**lanceylance:** ...yEAH

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN’T HEAR MY PHONE GO OFF I’M SORRY

**kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE YOU WERE CRYING ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND I WASN’T THERE

**lanceylance:** IT’S ACTUALLY A BIG DEAL THAT I DIDN’T HEAR MY PHONE GO OFF

**kogayne:** why

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE

**lanceylance:** I HAVE MY PHONE SET SO THAT IF ANYONE IN MY FAVORITES CALLS OR TEXTS WHILE I’M SLEEPING IT’LL BYPASS DO NOT DISTURB

**lanceylance:** BC I CARE ABOUT U GUYS

**lanceylance:** AND I /DIDN’T HEAR IT/ YOU COULD’VE BEEN /DYING/

**kogayne:** WELL I’M STILL HERE

**lanceylance:** BUT

**kogayne:** STILL ALIVE

**kogayne:** DEATH CAN MEET ME IN THE FUCKIN PIT

**lanceylance:** don’t tempt thanatos like that

**kogayne:** COME AT ME THANNY

**lanceylance:** OKAY ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** TO MY MAIN CONCERN

**lanceylance:** /WHY WERE YOU CRYING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP AT 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING/

**kogayne:** BECAUSE I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I WAS DELIRIOUS

**kogayne:** I STARTED THINKING ABOUT YOU AND???

**kogayne:** O-KAY SO EARLIER IN THE DAY WHEN WE WERE AT WORK I WAS THINKIN ABOUT LIKE, COLLEGE, AND GETTIN PRETTY ANXIOUS

**lanceylance:** WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING

**kogayne:** HOLD ON I’M GETTING THERE

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** SHUT UP LANCE

**kogayne:** OKAY SO LIKE

**kogayne:** oh this’ll make you upset probably shit aNYWAY

**lanceylance:** WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT A POTENTIAL BREAKUP AGAIN, ARE YOU SHITTING ME

**kogayne:** OKAY LISTEN NOT /EXACTLY/

**lanceylance:** [SQUISHES UR FACE] WE’RE COMMITTED, KOGANE

**kogayne:** LISTEN I /KNOW/

**kogayne:** L I S T E N

**lanceylance:** OKAY SORRY LISTENING

**kogayne:** SO I’M SITTING THERE AT WORK AND THIS GROUP WALKS IN RIGHT

**lanceylance:** WAS IT THE BIG GROUP

**kogayne:** YEAH

**kogayne:** AND I’M SITTING THERE LIKE,

**kogayne:** [hold on gotta drop the caps to get into my deeper thoughts] (whoosh we’re going back in time to yesterday afternoon. i am sitting behind the counter on my break. watching you. you’re adorable. you, mr. people skills mcsocialite, are chatting them up with an ease like no other. i am enamored. and also vaguely jealous for no reason other than there were pretty people in that crowd.)

**lanceylance:** you’re getting really into this, what a nerd

**kogayne:** “hmm. look at lance. talking to them. it’s so easy for him. i’d probably be lowkey crying inside if that was me. how does he do it? …i bet they’re nice people if we go to know them. probably. is this what it’s gonna be like in college? wow, it is. we’re gonna meet people. new people.”

**lanceylance:** wait a mINUTE YOU WENT BACK TO THE “LANCE IS GONNA FIND SOMEONE COOLER THAN ME IN COLLEGE” MINDSET DIDN’T YOU

**kogayne:** ONLY A LITTLE SHHH HEAR ME OUT

**lanceylance:** KEITH HOW MANY TIMES

**kogayne:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**kogayne:** I HAVE /ANXIETY/ LANCE

**lanceylance:** YEAH I KNOW /I HAVE ANXIETY TOO/

**kogayne:** GOOD NOW SHHHH

**lanceylance:** KEITH I SWEAR

**kogayne:** [ahem let me get back into the Cinematic Mode] (i am sitting there. watching you talk to a girl who’s clearly checking you out. i will myself not to be Jealous As Fuck, because you are downright oblivious. but still, i cannot help but wonder.) “there are going to be people in college who like lance. it’s inevitable. lance is the prettiest person on the planet. and one of the most caring. and the funniest. anyone would be lucky to have him. he’s so lovable. and what if he clicks with someone more than me? it’ll take meeting that person for him to know.”

**lanceylance:** ke ith 

**kogayne:** “what if we took a break in college. just for like, a week. at max. to see if we meet anyone new. to test if we’re really gonna make this work, or if maybe there are better people for us out there.”

**lanceylance:** ,,,

**kogayne:** but then

**kogayne:** you turned

**kogayne:** to go fill their order or whatever

**kogayne:** and you looked at me and winked and gave me the most ridiculously sunny smile

**kogayne:** “nopenopenopenope can’t do it, there’s no one else but him. he’s mine. i won’t be able to deal with a week of not being able to kiss his face and watching him talk to other people. oh god how do i tell him about this. wHAT IF he thinks it’s a good idea. distance is healthy, right? ...NOPE CAN’T DO IT. i don’t care how selfish it sounds, that boy is mine. he wants me, too. he loves me. and i love him.”

**kogayne:** so then

**kogayne:** this morning

**kogayne:** like, 4 in the morning, specifically

**kogayne:** i was thinking about you, and thinking about that, and i just???

**kogayne:** started crying

**kogayne:** because that’s what you do when you’re up at 4 in the morning thinking about your boyfriend and the fact that you wanna marry him

**lanceylance:** okay i wanna get serious for a quick second then we can get back to yelling

**kogayne:** mmm

**lanceylance:** if you’re still serious about the break in college, or like, you warm back up to the idea...i’ll do it. i probably won’t like it, but i’ll do it. i agree, distance is healthy. so is meeting people. 

**lanceylance:** just know,

**lanceylance:** if we go through with it,

**lanceylance:** there’s a chance i end up not meeting anyone bc i’ll be thinking about you the whole time.

**kogayne:** u just exposed my plan

**lanceylance:** fuckin what

**kogayne:** ur the social butterfly, i figured u would end up at parties meeting people while i hid out in the dorms, 

**lanceylance:** why do u hate urself so much

**lanceylance:** why do u think so little of urself

**lanceylance:** you are one of the most talented passionate and driven people i know, and???? you treat yourself like crap??? why do you think you’re so undeserving of love

**kogayne:** it’s not that i think i’m undeserving...i’m just used to instability, it’s just...expected at this point, i guess

**kogayne:** it’s not so much a matter of if someone leaves but mostly when

**kogayne:** i’m still not exactly used to having people who enter my life and don’t leave

**kogayne:** (the holts don’t count, matt was friends with shiro, not me) 

**lanceylance:** congratulations i’m not fucking leaving, i will make sure you know how much i love you

**kogayne:** i’m sorry we had to have this conversation again

**lanceylance:** i will have this conversation as often as we need to, talking thru ur fear is the best thing to do

**lanceylance:** are you doing anything particularly important today

**kogayne:** do you see the snow outside

**lanceylance:** do i care

**kogayne:** ...anyway i’m not doing anything

**lanceylance:** cool i’m coming over

**kogayne:** lemme shower first

**lanceylance:** okie doke

**lanceylance:** <33333333333

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i just got out of the shower, the front door is unlocked

**kogayne:** if u feel the need to be extra, so is the back door

**lanceylance:** ON MY WAY MULLETMAN

 

**_Let’s Go GNO_ **

**dinezor:** well, it’s a morning

**acxalutelynot:** lotor still hasn’t left my house

**acxalutelynot:** we are entering day 3 of him hiding from his father

**dinezor:** i don’t blame him

**dinezor:** has his dad come looking

**acxalutelynot:** we got a call last night and flatout told him we don’t know where the fuck lotor is, and instead of suggesting that maybe we should look, or he should call the cops, he just hung up

**acxalutelynot:** after saying some not-nice things about lotor and about my family

**acxalutelynot:** so that’s how that went

**dinezor:** :(((( u guys okay

**acxalutelynot:** for the most part, yeah

**acxalutelynot:** zarkon didn’t come by and check last night, and he’s definitely not gonna leave with the snow today

**zethridofmyproblems:** sometimes mother nature fucks with us but today she’s done well

**sippinganartini:** so glad i have this group chat to let me know that i’m not the only one who can’t see the roads today

**dinezor:** NARTI I JUST CHOKED

**zethridofmyproblems:** on what

**dinezor:** MY OWN SPIT

**zethridofmyproblems:** what a lovely image that conjures up

**dinezor:** acxa be cute, say something nice to me

**acxalutelynot:** sorry still imagining you choking on your own spit

**dinezor:** am i at least adorable in ur vision

**acxalutelynot:** username

**dinezor:** dead to me

**zethridofmyproblems:** SO ANY IDEA WHAT WE’RE DOING FOR NEW YEAR’S

**sippinganartini:** can’t wait to watch the ball drop

**dinezor:** N A R T I

**dinezor:** anyway I CAN HOST A PARTY

**acxalutelynot:** cool, i can go shopping for food 

**zethridofmyproblems:** i got decorations covered

**sippinganartini:** oh good

**dinezor:** zeth pls stop ur girlfriend before i hurt myself from laughing too hard

**zethridofmyproblems:** narti keep going

**dinezor:** :O

**dinezor:** OKAY THEN ZETH

**acxalutelynot:** anyway lotor’s been in contact with allura’s dad, he’s agreed to aid him

**acxalutelynot:** they’re building up the case

**acxalutelynot:** ALSO lotor said he’d bring his dazzling personality (aka he’s rifling through my board games and making jokes)

**zethridofmyproblems:** excellent

 

**_the weird space between xmas and nye_ **

**allurable:** ALRIGHT

**mattata:** whatever happened it’s lance’s fault

**lanceylance:** >:O HOW DARE

**kogayne:** what’s going on?

**allurable:** jeez u scaredy-cats i was just gonna talk about NYE

**mattata:** oh

**allurable:** first of all, secret santa exchange is happening, so make sure you have your gifts

**lanceylance:** keith and i have a STORY for you guys when we do that

**kogayne:** SHUT YOUR MOUTH

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMM

**allurable:** NOTED

**allurable:** NUMBER TWO

**allurable:** SEVERAL JOBS THAT NEED TO BE DONE

**allurable:** FOOD SHOPPING, BAKING, DECORATION SHOPPING, DECORATING AND SETUP, GAMES AND MUSIC

**lanceylance:** whatever i do i want keith with me

**allurable:** decoration shopping

**lanceylance:** BET

**kogayne:** fear™

**lanceylance:** stfu

**kogayne:** ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** I CAN HANDLE GAMES

**mattata:** I CAN HELP

**allurable:** HOLTS ON GAMES

**hunkerdunker:** leave the baking to me

**shayfromstatefarm:** we can both go food shopping

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll do setup 

**allurable:** u just wanna spend more time with me

**takashmeoutside:** yeah so what

**allurable:** okay you know what fair enough

**mattata:** shit put me on that decorating list too, i want in

**allurable:** i’ll put u down on both lists

**carrierpidgeon:** so if matt’s decorating that means he’s going early so i guess put me down on that list too since he’s my ride

**allurable:** nice, anyone else wanna come early

**lanceylance:** nah i’m good but if plans change i’ll let u know

**carrierpidgeon:** “let me consult keith in a separate chat and then i’ll get back to you”

**lanceylance:** YOU KNOW WHAT PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M WHAT

**lanceylance:** L E T  M E  L I V E

**carrierpidgeon:** F U C K  N O

**lanceylance:** i am perfectly capable of making decisions on my own, without keith’s input,

**kogayne:** ^^^^^^^^

**lanceylance:** BUT I LIKE HAVING IT BECAUSE I LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH HIM

**kogayne:** ^^^^^^!!!!

**hunkerdunker:** and after this morning i have no doubt in my mind

**carrierpidgeon:** OHO? 

**lanceylance:** H UNK

**hunkerdunker:** he loves keith a lot

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CHIMED IN WITH A 

**kogayne:** HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER wait a minute

**kogayne:** DON’T DISTRACT ME

**lanceylance:** POUR THE CHAMPAGNE

**kogayne:** L A N C E

**takashmeoutside:** do i even wanna know

**shayfromstatefarm:** probably not

**takashmeoutside:** ...wait a minute are u two sitting in the same room...but shouting at each other in the /group chat/

**lanceylance:** LET US LIVE SHIRO

**kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU HOME I THOUGHT YOU WENT TO TARGET

**takashmeoutside:** DO YOU SEE THE SNOW OUTSIDE

**lanceylance:** DIDN’T STOP ME FROM GETTING OVER HERE

**allurable:** wait hold on,

**shayfromstatefarm:** /all three of you/ are now in the same house, yelling in the group chat

**lanceylance:** shiro just started shouting upstairs  t h a n k s

**mattata:** damn sounds like a party over there i wish i was there

**shayfromstatefarm:** but the roads

**lanceylance:** D I D N ‘ T  S T O P  M E

**carrierpidgeon:** DO NOT LET MATT BEHIND THE WHEEL IN THE SNOW

**kogayne:** SHIRO KINDLY REQUESTS WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT

**allurable:** PIDGE START SOME DISCOURSE

**carrierpidgeon:** I DUNNO WHAT DISCOURSE TO START

**carrierpidgeon:** ????????????????

**carrierpidgeon:** OH I KNOW

**carrierpidgeon:** WHO HERE’S A PREP AND WHO’S AN EMO

**kogayne:** i hate u

**carrierpidgeon:** fuck nessie

**kogayne:** hate 2

**takashmeoutside:** i am neither

**mattata:** he raised keith he’s a fuckin emo

**takashmeoutside:** I AM NOT

**allurable:** “that’s shirogane’s cousin alright”

**carrierpidgeon:** the broganes are emo fucks

**kogayne:** meet me in the pit

**shayfromstatefarm:** i like to think i’m a prep

**hunkerdunker:** ^

**kogayne:** pidge is a fucking emo too

**carrierpidgeon:** TAKE IT BACK KOGANE

**allurable:** sorry pidge but on the prep-emo scale you score much closer to emo

**carrierpidgeon:** I’VE BEEN BETRAYED

**takashmeoutside:** i mean matt is too

**mattata:** KASHI

**allurable:** he’s not wrong, only an emo would crash a frat party with his laptop and then escape out the window on the second floor

**kogayne:** OKAY CAN YOU JUST TELL THIS DAMN STORY ALREADY

**allurable:** NOPE

**mattata:** i can’t believe,,,

**allurable:** meanwhile i am very much a prep

**lanceylance:** so am i

**lanceylance:** WHICH MEANS

**carrierpidgeon:** watch him bring this back to klance

**lanceylance:** STFU PIDGE

**lanceylance:** WHICH /MEANS/

**lanceylance:** IF THERE’S A WAR BETWEEN EMOS AND PREPS

**carrierpidgeon:** wait for it

**allurable:** (wait for it wait for it wait)

**lanceylance:** GOD HELP AND FORGIVE M but no ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** KEITH AND I ARE ROMEO AND JULIET

**allurable:** in romeo and juliet who’s the emo and who’s the prep

**shayfromstatefarm:** romeo cried over a girl he was infatuated with when she didn’t like him back and dick jokes couldn’t even pull him out of it and then basically spoke poetry about juliet

**hunkerdunker:** romeo is an emo

**shayfromstatefarm:** BUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** FUNNILY ENOUGH

**shayfromstatefarm:** JULIET IS ALSO AN EMO FOR BASICALLY THE SAME REASONS

**kogayne:** lance we’re a sham

**lanceylance:** BUT THEN, IF THEY’RE BOTH EMOS

**carrierpidgeon:** after examining this situation and realizing i am the only remotely dateable person in this situation for keith to maintain his status as juliet, i am HOPPING THE FUCK OFF THIS TRAIN

**kogayne:** bye this discourse is cancelled

**hunkerdunker:** this group chat is cancelled

**lanceylance:** boi i made this group chat how dare

**lanceylance:** u know what i don’t need this i’m gonna go romance the boyf with star wars and snuggles

**carrierpidgeon:** u know what it’s not the new year yet I WANT EYE BLEACH

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^

**lanceylance:** GROUP CHAT CANCELLED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. thursday morning at 4 AM i was crying over voltron bc i love the palalalalalaladins so much
> 
> 2\. the game plan from here on out is to get a new year's eve oneshot up (yes i know it's already january 2nd and nearly january 3rd stfu) and then get the january 2nd/tuesday chapter up
> 
> 3\. [keith's playlist is really emo lmfao](https://open.spotify.com/user/nerdyspaceace/playlist/2AxtK0gkw0VEYeQ99haxNx)
> 
> 4\. [lance's is basically my party playlist (but he's got some self-empowerment songs on there too)](https://open.spotify.com/user/nerdyspaceace/playlist/3dSla8dSD5EODMq1Wqv82J)
> 
> 5\. [in case u missed the klance playlist a while back](https://open.spotify.com/user/nerdyspaceace/playlist/7Dzo9DDrKNlGsLKuzKc6C7)
> 
> 6\. if you're following stars go down, but missed it, i posted chapters [20](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/30141450), [21](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/30226917), and [22](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/30288831) this past week
> 
> 7\. SEE YA IN THE NEXT ONE


	80. RETURN TO HELL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> school is back in session ft. a new principal and mulletman shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao i'm still working on the nye oneshot, but i was at school today with a lot of free time, so i wrote this chapter and started the wednesday chapter

**_the weird space between xmas and nye_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_the weird space between xmas and nye_ ** _ to  _ **_RETURN TO HELL_ **

**lanceylance:** why do we have to come in today, i am utterly exhausted, i’m breaking out, my skincare routine is suffering, i am surviving off of nothing but caffeine, send help

**takashmeoutside:** is this keith on lance’s phone

**kogayne:** RUDE

**lanceylance:** nope it’s me, casually dying

**lanceylance:** and don’t drag the boyf like that, i love him

**kogayne:** :)

**allurable:** is your new year’s resolution to be even mushier with each other orrrrrr

**lanceylance:** oh we’re mushy on the regular

**kogayne:** yep

**takashmeoutside:** w h a t

**kogayne:** did you not see us on new year’s

**lanceylance:** i love bein mushy with keef

**carrierpidgeon:** it is the second day of the new year and i already want to break my “be nice to klance on the subject of klance” resolution

**lanceylance:** betcha you can’t make this last until the first week is over, i bet you break before that

**carrierpidgeon:** are you trying to make me break my no gambling resolution

**mattata:** wait since when did you have a no gambling resolution

**carrierpidgeon:** i made it i just never told anyone about it

**carrierpidgeon:** because you’d have all started placing bets right then and there about how long i’d last and i’d break my resolution like right there

**lanceylance:** OHOHOHO?

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING

**lanceylance:** NOTHINNNNN

**shayfromstatefarm:** u probably shouldn’t have said anything

**carrierpidgeon:** [long sigh] yep

**hunkerdunker:** hOLD ON EVERYONE SHUT UP THERE’S AN ANNOUNCEMENT

**allurable:** ohhhhhh

**lanceylance:** what kind of name is /kolivan/

**kogayne:** better than zarkon

**takashmeoutside:** WAIT A MINUTE

**mattata:** IS THAT YOUR NEW PRINCIPAL

**allurable:** MMMM YEAH THAT’S THE BEST THE DISTRICT COULD DO

**carrierpidgeon:** wait don’t tell me they hired another asshole

**allurable:** MMMMMMMMMM SHIRO, MATT, YOU GUYS WANNA TAKE THIS ONE

**takashmeoutside:** he’s not an asshole /per se/…

**shayfromstatefarm:** wait how do u guys know about him

**mattata:** he was That Teacher our junior year

**hunkerdunker:** what do you mean That Teacher

**mattata:** ...he was /weird/

**takashmeoutside:** he was the old AP english teacher for 11th grade before whoever they have now

**kogayne:** WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE ENGLISH TEACHERS

**takashmeoutside:** not always, sometimes it’s the science teachers

**lanceylance:** chaotic good x chaotic good 

**carrierpidgeon:** stop making this look like the tags on a fucking fanfic

**shayfromstatefarm:** do u think people write fanfiction about ulaz and thace

**kogayne:** shiro matt story PLEASE

**takashmeoutside:** OKAY SO LIKE

**mattata:** HE WAS JUST ONE OF THOSE WEIRD TEACHERS

**takashmeoutside:** we’re like 99% sure he was an ex-con at one point

**takashmeoutside:** he had a wild distrust of authority and roasted zarkon any chance he got

**mattata:** i’m 100% sure he’s an ex con he had that aloof attitude and talked about a LOT OF QUESTIONABLE THINGS

**mattata:** dude would stop halfway through stories to think about how to word it

**takashmeoutside:** lowkey scared the fuck out of me

**kogayne:** OUT OF /YOU/?

**mattata:** HE’S AN /EX-CON/ WHAT DO YOU EXPECT

**takashmeoutside:** his analyses of stuff got like...weirdly dark sometimes

**mattata:** THE SPEECH

**takashmeoutside:** DON’T BRING UP THE SPEECH

**lanceylance:** SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH

**carrierpidgeon:** SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH

**mattata:** he’s a conspiracy theorist

**kogayne:** I’M ON BOARD

**mattata:** he doesn’t trust the government

**carrierpidgeon:** SIGN ME UP

**mattata:** we read a speech once by like, ronald reagan or something and we were supposed to analyze it and the guy started going into these conspiracy theories abt reagan it was FUCKIN WEIRD

**takashmeoutside:** all we’re saying is he’s better than zarkon but also be careful bc THIS IS THE MAN WHO DISTRUSTS ANYONE IN A POSITION OF POWER, NOW IN A POSITION OF POWER

**carrierpidgeon:** but isn’t being a teacher a position of power 

**mattata:** YEAH  E X A C T L Y

**carrierpidgeon:** idk he still sounds cool

**mattata:** i mean, i’m pretty sure he’s friends with some teachers, like thace and ulaz and antok and a couple others???

**takashmeoutside:** ^^ ulaz actually got him the job teaching

**mattata:** i have a suspicion they were all in a gang once

**kogayne:** so what i’m hearing is i can’t cross this guy the way i crossed zarkon 24/7

**takashmeoutside:** there’s a buncha yellow tape everywhere

**kogayne:** got it

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** keith and pidge i love u both dearly but why are u not more disconcerted about this kolivan guy

**kogayne:** shiro and matt said many things about him and homophobe was not one of them

**lanceylance:** THAT DOENS’T

**hunkerdunker:** doenst

**carrierpidgeon:** whomst

**shayfromstatefarm:** whomst the fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** whomst the fucm

**lanceylance:** awful friends

**lanceylance:** THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE’S NOT STILL SKETCHY

**kogayne:** i’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt

**lanceylance:** ARE NONE OF YOU WONDERING WHY HE LEFT TEACHING AND JUST MYSTERIOUSLY RESURFACED AS OUR PRINCIPAL

**hunkerdunker:** yeah that seemed a little weird to me but i wasn’t gonna say anything

**lanceylance:** THIS IS SUS

**kogayne:** should i get myself sent to the office to do some recon

**lanceylance:** NO????

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith what the fuck

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** you are banned from trying to purposely get yourself into the office

**kogayne:** i can make it look like an accident

**lanceylance:** NO

**lanceylance:** HUNK BACK ME UP

**hunkerdunker:** keith do not get yourself sent to the main office just to try and get some info on the new principal

**kogayne:** >:(

**carrierpidgeon:** can /i/

**lanceylance:** N O

**shayfromstatefarm:** the cryptkids i swear

**kogayne:** i’m gonna do it

**lanceylance:** we are still in the same classroom i will kick your ass

**kogayne:** if we get into a fistfight then we /both/ get sent down

**hunkerdunker:** ABSOLUTELY NOT

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^

**kogayne:** you all are no fun

**lanceylance:** THERE IS A LINE BETWEEN FUN AND BAD DECISIONS

**kogayne:** i like to play jumprope with that line

**lanceylance:** boy phone down we’re talking face to face bc u need to not with the reckless shit

 

**_Let’s Go GNO_ **

**dinezor:** is lotor’s phone fixed yet

**acxalutelynot:** yeah

**acxalutelynot:** i wouldn’t add him back to the other gc yet tho, he’s like, pissed

**zethridofmyproblems:** did someone come at him about the new principal

**acxalutelynot:** two different kids

**dinezor:** kill them

**acxalutelynot:** okay, no,

**zethridofmyproblems:** why not it seems like a good idea to me

**sippinganartini:** i can see no downsides to that

**acxalutelynot:** NARTI IT IS FIRST PERIOD

**dinezor:** i just snorted so loudly my teacher gave me a dirty look

**sippinganartini:** more than i can give you

**acxalutelynot:** you all are ridiculous

**dinezor:** hey wild idea

**acxalutelynot:** i am afraid

**dinezor:** so lotor’s not fighting with keith anymore, let’s make a big squad group chat with him and his friends

**acxalutelynot:** or not

**dinezor:** TOO LATE I’M DOING IT

 

**_dinezor_ ** _ added  _ **_acxalutelynot_ ** _ , _ **_zethtridofmyproblems_ ** _ , _ **_sippinganartini_ ** _ , _ **_lotoreal_ ** _ ,  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ , _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ ,  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ ,  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ , and  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ to  _ **_SCHOOL SQUAD_ **

**dinezor:** hello!!!

**kogayne:** maybe i can get a second opinion, i welcome this strange development

**lanceylance:** NO

**acxalutelynot:** ez what did you get us into

**kogayne:** SHOULD I GET MYSELF SENT TO THE OFFICE TO INVESTIGATE THIS NEW PRINCIPAL

**lanceylance:** EVERYONE SAY NO

**hunkerdunker:** hold on why is this group chat a thing

**dinezor:** i felt like it

**dinezor:** i feel like our squads should be friends

**lotoreal:** oh dear this is why my phone is blowing up

**dinezor:** don’t get sassy with me 

**carrierpidgeon:** oh this group chat is about to be lit there are 10 of us

**sippinganartini:** disclaimer: i have a text-to-speech thing so be careful with emoticons, not all of them are saved to my shortcuts so pls try not to make text-to-speech freak out

**lanceylance:** do u have the finger guns one saved

**sippinganartini:** u mean this (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** YEAH

**sippinganartini:** finger gun away

**lanceylance:** BET (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**sippinganartini:** i already have regrets

**lanceylance:** >:(

**kogayne:** now u know how i feel when u won’t let me dO WHAT I WANT

**lanceylance:** BOI

**lotoreal:** i mean, technically, nobody can stop you

**lanceylance:** i will physically restrain him if i have to

**acxalutelynot:** just...find him after school? and talk to him? 

**dinezor:** getting sent to the office sounds more fun tho

**kogayne:** thanks ezor glad SOMEONE IS ON MY SIDE

**lanceylance:** this is biphobia

**dinezor:** how

**lanceylance:** I’M BI AND I DON’T LIKE IT

**carrierpidgeon:** keith if u don’t do the thing soon i’m gonna do the thing

**kogayne:** i’m gonna have to wait till ryner’s class, i’ve got ulaz next

**carrierpidgeon:** dammit kogane i wanna find out about the principal

**lotoreal:** i can tell you now that anyone is better than my father, especially someone who was so vehemently against him

**kogayne:** ...so what do /you/ know about him bc i heard some interesting stories

**lotoreal:** you mean aside from the fact that he was in a gang, has been arrested for charges i’m still not sure about, and has a high distrust of the government?

**kogayne:** ...why do u know that

**lotoreal:** i did research

**lotoreal:** my father had concerns about his replacement, and we found out early because we’re still connected to the district

**shayfromstatefarm:** well okay then

**kogayne:** uhhh thanks for the info

 

**_RETURN TO HELL_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** matt u were right he actually is an ex-con

**takashmeoutside:** hold up what’s that

**carrierpidgeon:** ezor made a high school group chat for their squad and ours for like no reason

**allurable:** matt, shiro, we’re finally free

**carrierpidgeon:** uh uh uh not so fast this is still my favorite group chat

**allurable:** DAMMIT

**carrierpidgeon:** this group chat has produced some quality memes

**allurable:** what about the meme potential of the other group chat with 10 high schoolers instead of 5 high schoolers and 3 adults

**mattata:** i’m an adult?

**allurable:** yes matthew

**mattata:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** mood

**allurable:** sometimes loving you two is difficult

**takashmeoutside:** yeah but u put up with us anyway

**lanceylance:** dealing with keith rn be like

**kogayne:** fight me mcclain

**kogayne:** aha, there’s the bell, one more class until i get sent to the office

**takashmeoutside:** i’m sorry, /what/

**lanceylance:** AHA THE SENSIBLE GROUP CHAT

**hunkerdunker:** keith wants to purposely get sent down to the office so he can go see for himself what’s up with this kolivan guy

**takashmeoutside:** no

**allurable:** don’t

**mattata:** we literally told u not to cross him

**kogayne:** i’m not gonna try and cross him i just wanna meet him

**takashmeoutside:** do NOT

**allurable:** just find him after school or between classes wtf keith

**lanceylance:** that’s what acxa told him to do

**takashmeoutside:** and that’s exactly what he should do, not purposely get in trouble

**mattata:** there are literally a million other ways to get in touch with the principal that don’t involve purposely sabotaging your own record

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m sorry what reality are we in where matt’s being sensible on the topic of doing questionable things

**mattata:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_RETURN TO HELL_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** [sigh]

**hunkerdunker:** “keith kogane to the main office please, keith kogane to the main office”

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH WHAT DID YOU DO

**lanceylance:** he’s in the office i’m not sure he can exactly text back right away

**lanceylance:** anyway can we talk about the fact that i’m in thace’s room and there’s no fucking heat, i’m a popsicle

**hunkerdunker:** if i get hypothermia i’m suing the school

**shayfromstatefarm:** i didn’t bring my jacket with me bc i was under the impression i would be taken care of

**carrierpidgeon:** there’s maybe one wing in this school where every classroom has a fully functional heating system

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m literally shaking that’s how cold it is in my classroom rn

**lanceylance:** i think i have an extra jacket in my locker, do u want it

**carrierpidgeon:** PLEASE

**lanceylance:** alright, locker’s in the science wing, number is 4056 and the combo is 6-42-6

**carrierpidgeon:** THANK YOU SO MUCH HOLY SHIT

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

 

**_RETURN TO HELL_ **

**kogayne:** SO I MET KOLIVAN

**mattata:** WHAT DID YOU DO

**kogayne:** i requested a meeting to talk about a scholarship (⌐■_■) 

**lanceylance:** YOU LITTLE SHIT

**takashmeoutside:** you’re going to be the reason i’m gray before i’m 30

**kogayne:** ANYWAY kolivan seems pretty cool but like...offputtingly mysterious

**lanceylance:** is that a word

**carrierpidgeon:** it is when it’s spelled with a hyphen

**carrierpidgeon:** off-puttingly

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith what scholarship 

**kogayne:** um

**kogayne:** one for orphans

**kogayne:** i kind of didn’t /need/ to talk to him about it but i claimed i needed help with it

**kogayne:** so, yknow, getting scholarship money where i can

**kogayne:** BUT YEAH KOLIVAN IS STRANGE

**takashmeoutside:** I TOLD YOU

**kogayne:** i had to confirm ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey u okay

**kogayne:** i mean i’m freezing

**lanceylance:** :( you know what i’m talking about

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** im okay 

**kogayne:** thanks for checking in

**lanceylance:** wouldn’t be lance if i wasn’t concerned ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** also when we hit lunch and physics, if you’re still cold, we can snuggleeee~

**kogayne:** why are u so

**kogayne:** Good

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** i love you so much

**lanceylance:** i love you too

 

**_RETURN TO HELL_ **

**_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ renamed  _ **_RETURN TO HELL_ ** _ to  _ **_we’re gonna be happy in 2018_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** GRATITUDE HOUR

**shayfromstatefarm:** grateful that most of my classes had heat today

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M GRATEFUL LANCE GAVE ME A JACKET BC HOLYVSHIT

**lanceylance:** im grateful that the fucKIN CAFÉ HAD HEAT

**kogayne:** grateful for lance, he was very warm today

**takashmeoutside:** i’m sensing a pattern here

**hunkerdunker:** grateful for culinary, we were making cookies, it was sO WARM

**mattata:** uhhhhh im grateful for my customers, someone gave me cash for no reason other than i was doing a good job today

**allurable:** GRATEFUL FOR THE OLD LADY IN MY CLASS SHE EMAILED ME A GIFT CARD TO AMAZON

**takashmeoutside:** ...i got to sleep in bc i have the late shift ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** GOOD JOB TODAY GUYS

**lanceylance:** time to ignore all my homework and SLEEP!

**hunkerdunker:** smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M WORKIN ON THE WEDNESDAY CHAPTER AND I'VE GOT TONS OF INSPIRATION FOR IT
> 
> also i was standing in the hallway today with [amanda](http://archiveofourown.org/users/akbull21) and [beatrice](http://archiveofourown.org/users/periphvna), and amanda was talking about reading a klance oneshot and this kid from my creative writing class happened to be walking by and turned around at the mention of the word "klance" and gave us a _look_ and then pretended they hadn't and proceeded to keep walking, so tHAT HAPPENED
> 
> ANYWAY SEE U IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OR THE NYE FIC WHICHEVER HAPPENS FIRST (PROBABLY THE NEXT CHAPTER)


	81. we're all freezing to death because the school can't afford proper heating (save us) by fall out boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's cold in school, ft. other shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this is the wednesday chapter

**_we’re gonna be happy in 2018_ **

**lanceylance:** WHERE IS THE USUAL HEAT IN ANTOK’S ROOM

 **lanceylance:** THIS IS IT, THIS IS HOW I DIE

 **lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT’S SO DAMN COLD MY FINGERS ARE SHAKING

 **mattata:** where’s ur heater

 **kogayne:** FREEZING TO DEATH IN GUIDANCE

 **takashmeoutside:** why are you in guidance

 **kogayne:** scholarship stuff

 **hunkerdunker:** the culinary room is nice and toasty（＾ω＾）

 **lanceylance:** hunk you have 5 seconds to stop that

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hello, design is an icebox,

 **carrierpidgeon:** CHEM HAS THE HEAT ONNNNNNNNNNN

 **allurable:** why is there no heat in your school building

 **lanceylance:** it’s a public school?

 **kogayne:** idk budget?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** the district doesn’t give a shit?

 **takashmeoutside:** i wonder how many heaters are broken

 **kogayne:** at least 3, according to what i overheard in the office yesterday

 **lanceylance:** well it’s probably like 17 now

 **lanceylance:** seriously this cold snap needs to eeeeeeeeeend i want hot weather back, i will take sweating to death over freezing to death

 **hunkerdunker:** nah man, i’ll still take the cold

 **hunkerdunker:** you can keep putting on layers, but you can only go so far in the hot weather before you’re lying around naked and still suffering

 **carrierpidgeon:** DISCOURSE: HEAT SQUAD VS COLD SQUAD

 **kogayne:** pidge it’s too early for discourse

 **carrierpidgeon:** D I S C O U R S E

 **carrierpidgeon:** anyway i’ll take the cold, i have the heat of my laptop vent to keep me warm

 **lanceylance:** smh where’s my hot weather squad

 **kogayne:** present

 **lanceylance:** i knew there was a reason i liked you

 **kogayne:** i would hope so

 **carrierpidgeon:** disowned

 **kogayne:** square up

 **mattata:** sorry pidge, i’m with the hot weather squad, i’m still traumatized from that february flu

 **takashmeoutside:** smh i’ll take the cold weather, i’m content hiding in sweaters all season

 **allurable:** ^^^^^^^^^

 **carrierpidgeon:** THANK YOU SENSIBLE PEOPLE

 **hunkerdunker:** i’ve already made my side clear ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i grew up in hot weather before i moved here, i’m used to it

 **carrierpidgeon:** shit list

 **shayfromstatefarm:** okay then

 **allurable:** shouldn’t u be like, doing chemistry

 **carrierpidgeon:** i could be

 **carrierpidgeon:** but i don’t wanna

 **allurable:** why not

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **allurable:** that’s not a reasonable answer

 **carrierpidgeon:** sorry motherboard malfunction gtg

 **allurable:** oH

 **carrierpidgeon:** B Y E

 **lanceylance:** MMMM SHE SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED, KEITH IS IN GUIDANCE, WHAT’S HAPPENING TODAY Y’ALL

 **lanceylance:** WHY DID THE GROUP CHAT SUDDENLY DIE

 **lanceylance:** the heat in the culinary room and the cold in the design room must have claimed hunk and shay

 **lanceylance:** idk shiro and matt and allura are probably sleeping or doing like, taxes or something

 **lanceylance:** I AM THE LAST ONE STANDING

 **lanceylance:** I AM INVINCIBLE

 

**_SCHOOL SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** is this group chat any less dead

 **lotoreal:** highly considering suing the school for the fact that i feel as though i’m living in the arctic circle.

 **dinezor:** hi lance!!

 **lanceylance:** hi ez hi lotoreal

 **lanceylance:** where’s everyone else

 **lanceylance:** the boyf, pidgeon, shay, and hunk all are dead apparently

 **dinezor:** APOCALYPSE

 **lanceylance:** lookin more and more likely tbh

 **zethridofmyproblems:** my fingers are too cold to type properly it took me five minutes to write this

 **sippinganartini:** ^

 **lanceylance:** ah

 **lanceylance:** ...so anyone got any interesting stories

 **lotoreal:** it’s first period.

 **lanceylance:** i mean,

 **lanceylance:** okay then i’ll check back in later

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** did u actually go to guidance for scholarship stuff

 **kogayne:** yeah??

 **takashmeoutside:** and you’re not lying??

 **kogayne:** ?????? no??????

 **takashmeoutside:** are you getting sassy with me

 **kogayne:** no i’m just confused

 **takashmeoutside:** confused as to what

 **kogayne:** where have i given indication that i needed to go to guidance for my feelings

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m just checking in because i know you and i know you’ll cover if you have to

 **takashmeoutside:** lance isn’t the only one who can read u

 **kogayne:** well okay then

 **kogayne:** thanks

 **kogayne:** but i swear it was for scholarship stuff

 **takashmeoutside:** just making sure

 **takashmeoutside:** how’s it going with the scholarship stuff

 **kogayne:** pretty good?

 **kogayne:** i will literally take any money i can get

 **takashmeoutside:** you do know you have a college fund from the will, right

 **kogayne:** that’ll run out eventually

 **kogayne:** college is expensive as fuck

 **takashmeoutside:** you do know i have a decent-paying job right

 **kogayne:** TARGET IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY FOR COLLEGE

 **kogayne:** let me do this

 **takashmeoutside:** just letting u know ur not a financial burden

 **kogayne:** SHIRO

 **takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ have fun the rest of the school day!!

 **kogayne:** SQUARE UP TAKASHI

 

**_we’re gonna be happy in 2018_ **

**lanceylance:** what are the odds we have no school tomorrow

 **carrierpidgeon:** well the science department says we’ll probably have a delay but the math and social studies departments have both agreed that we’re not gonna be here tomorrow

 **kogayne:** thace says there’s no chance we’re gonna be here and if we end up here anyway he’s gonna call out sick

 **lanceylance:** him and me both

 **mattata:** me if i get put on schedule tomorrow

 **takashmeoutside:** ^^^

 **allurable:** you know what must suck

 **hunkerdunker:** straws

 **lanceylance:** this mouth

 **carrierpidgeon:** LANCE I SWEAR

 **allurable:** i’m gonna pretend lance didn’t say anything

 **allurable:** i was gonna say, if you’re a teacher from a different town

 **allurable:** and like, the town you teach in has school, but your town is cancelled or delayed or getting out early

 **allurable:** what if you can’t even leave your house

 **kogayne:** time to call in a sub

 **shayfromstatefarm:** MY PHONE JUST GOT ALL OF THESE MESSAGES

 **shayfromstatefarm:** SORRY LANCE

 **lanceylance:** SHAY LIVES

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i hate the service in this building

 **shayfromstatefarm:** also: i’m kind of banking on no school

 **shayfromstatefarm:** like lance yesterday, i plan on doing no homework tonight

 **lanceylance:** i’m not doing my homework tonight regardless of whether or not we’re here tomorrow

 **lanceylance:** i just wanna know our odds

 **hunkerdunker:** according to the snow day calculator i found, we’re probably not gonna be here

 **lanceylance:** BETBETBETBETBETBET

 **lanceylance:** OOOOOH LUNCH BELL, I HOPE THE CAFETERIA IS WARM

 

**_we’re gonna be happy in 2018_ **

**lanceylance:** They Are Trying To Kill Us

 **shayfromstatefarm:** DID THE CAFETERIA HEATER BREAK BETWEEN TODAY AND YESTERDAY

 **kogayne:** seems like it

 **carrierpidgeon:** smh

 **allurable:** are you all okay

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m wearing long sleeves and two sweatshirts AND A VEST AND I’M STILL COLD

 **lanceylance:** OH, IS THE COLD SQUAD COMPLAINING ABOUT THE COLD NOW

 **carrierpidgeon:** WE WERE JUST CHOOSING WHICH WAY WAS A PREFERABLE WAY TO DIE, THEY’RE BOTH AWFUL BUT I’D STILL TAKE THE COLD

 **lanceylance:** SO STOP COMPLAINING

 **carrierpidgeon:** NO

 **kogayne:** meanwhile, can we appreciate this:

 _(3) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** hunk and shay, cuter than all of us 2kForever

 **lanceylance:** BLANKET-SHARING IS /KLANCE’S/ THING HOW DARE YOU TWO

 **hunkerdunker:** :P

 **shayfromstatefarm:** not even sorry

 **shayfromstatefarm:** trying to conserve heat here

 **allurable:** if anyone gets sick from being so cold lemme know

 **takashmeoutside:** please don’t get sick

 **kogayne:** yeah we don’t exactly have control over that

 **takashmeoutside:** :|

 

**_SCHOOL SQUAD_ **

**acxalutelynot:** NO

 **zethridofmyproblems:** HAHAHAHAHA

 **lotoreal:** you’ve got to be kidding me.

 **lanceylance:** DAB ON EMMMMMMMMM

 **kogayne:** why are you like this

 

**_we’re gonna be happy in 2018_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR WE HAVE A STAY-PUT WHILE WE’RE IN LUNCH I’M LIVING

 **takashmeoutside:** why??

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ we have absolutely no idea

 **lanceylance:** i get more cuddle time with keith

 **hunkerdunker:** and i get more cuddle time with shay

 **carrierpidgeon:** i get more time to eat my sandwich

 **mattata:** tag urself i’m pidge

 **allurable:** u heathen, i was pidge

 **mattata:** excuse me, in college, i was pidge

 **takashmeoutside:** i was never pidge

 **carrierpidgeon:** you know what shiro,

 **mattata:** SORRY WE CAN’T ALL HAVE AN S/O AT ANY GIVEN POINT IN OUR ACADEMIC CAREERS

 **kogayne:** an signifcant other

 **mattata:** i was reading it as “an es-oh” but whatever

 **kogayne:** anyway can’t relate

 

**_SCHOOL SQUAD_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** why do we have a stay-put, is anyone in the know

 **acxalutelynot:** rumor going around is that it had to do with the heating system

 **shayfromstatefarm:** see in these situations i always assume medical emergency but that makes sense

 **acxalutelynot:** again, just a rumor, but i have a reliable source

 **kogayne:** lotor?

 **lotoreal:** no

 **acxalutelynot:** the teachers are talking, they’re not very subtle

 **dinezor:** are they ever

 **sippinganartini:** only when they explain their assignments

 **acxalutelynot:** IF I GET ONE MORE VAGUE ASSIGNMENT AND THEN GET DOCKED POINTS FOR THINGS THAT AREN’T EVEN MENTIONED IN THE INSTRUCTIONS OR RUBRIC

 **lanceylance:** wow did someone say SALT SQUAD

 **dinezor:** if you change this gc name so help me

 **_lanceylance_ ** _renamed_ **_SCHOOL SQUAD_ ** _to_ **_SALT SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** i was in the process while ur text sent oH WELL

 **dinezor:** MCCLAIN

 **lanceylance:** you rang?

 **dinezor:** KOGANE COME GET UR MAN

 **kogayne:** lance keep going

 **dinezor:** OH COME ON

 **dinezor:** WAIT NO

 **lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **sippinignartini:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **dinezor:** i am being ATTACKED

 **dinezor:** I AM A BEAUTIFUL INNOCENT LESBIAN I DON’T DESERVE THIS

 **lanceylance:** i was attacked in another group chat yesterday, it is /your/ turn to suffer

 **dinezor:** ACXA

 **acxalutelynot:** [long sigh] [draws gun] i wish i didn’t have to do this

 **lanceylance:** WAIT ACXA NO

 **kogayne:** LANCE

 **acxalutelynot:** I WON’T HESITATE

 **kogayne:** DON’T SHOOT HIM SHOOT ME INSTEAD

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m disowning both of you

 **kogayne:** listen,

 **lanceylance:** we had a plan

 **lotoreal:** i’m sorry /what the hell is happening/

 **kogayne:** while acxa turned to shoot me,

 **lanceylance:** i’d use the split second where she changes targets to draw my own guns and fire

 **lanceylance:** because i am the sharpshooter

 **kogayne:** and i can’t shoot straight

 **kogayne:** or do anything, for that matter

 **acxalutelynot:** same

 **zethridofmyproblems:** yeah

 **sippinganartini:** basically

 **dinezor:** relatable

 **lanceylance:** mood

 **carrierpidgeon:** tell me about it

 **hunkerdunker:** shit u right

 **shayfromstatefarm:** accurate

 **lotoreal:** me too

 **carrierpidgeon:** wow, ten people in this chat and not a single one is straight

 **lanceylance:** neither are any of the ones in a relationship either

 **carrierpidgeon:** you know what lance

 **carrierpidgeon:** choke

 **lanceylance:** anything specific you want me to choke on

 **carrierpidgeon:** CRUSHING DEFEAT

 **lanceylance:** depression is hibernating right now, try again in like a week

 **lotoreal:** ...are you okay?

 **lanceylance:** peachy

 **lanceylance:** stay-put + blanket + keith + reason to snuggle with him = good day

 **acxalutelynot:** ur so whipped

 **lanceylance:** so is ur girlfriend

 **lanceylance:** how’s it going for u, lotoreal

 **lotoreal:** ...well, i suppose?

 **lotoreal:** if you’re asking about the emancipation case, i believe the alteas are making headway

 **lotoreal:** i just hope this case doesn’t drag out to may

 **lotoreal:** then the struggle becomes pointless

 **lanceylance:** oh

 **lanceylance:** i was just checkin in with ur feelings but that’s cool too

 **lotoreal:** oh.

 **lotoreal:** i’m well.

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** SOMEBODY HELP HIM

 **kogayne:** omfg

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE HELL

 **lanceylance:** I GENUINELY FEEL BAD

 **hunkerdunker:** that whole conversation

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i mean think about it tho, u grow up with a dad like zarkon,

 **hunkerdunker:** what’s he gonna do if he wins the case

 **kogayne:** i have other info on that but idk if i’m allowed to disclose

 **kogayne:** i kinda got added to a group chat with the other girls and allura

 **kogayne:** okay scratch that i got added to a group chat with the other girls bc they needed allura so i added allura

 **lanceylance:** dude don’t disclose if u don’t think it’s ur place

 **kogayne:** alright i guess

 **kogayne:** i mean it’s not like,

 **kogayne:** yeah u know what nvm

 

**_we’re gonna be happy in 2018_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WE FOUND OUT WHY WE HAD A STAY-PUT

 **kogayne:** if it got any worse we would’ve needed an evacuation

 **takashmeoutside:** i’m sorry wHAT

 **shayfromstatefarm:** don’t worry it happened in one of the classes that was at lunch aka a science class

 **shayfromstatefarm:** there was smoke in one of the classrooms

 **takashmeoutside:** WHAT

 **kogayne:** they had to call the fire department

 **kogayne:** and get electricians

 **kogayne:** they shut off the heat in that room

 **hunkerdunker:** they had to air out the hallway and the classroom, so they had to have the doors open and fans on

 **hunkerdunker:** they think it was an electrical fire but they can’t be sure

 **hunkerdunker:** but anyway if it got worse they would’ve had to put us outside but they didn’t wanna do that so they just put us in stay-put and hoped for the best

 **carrierpidgeon:** yeah i wasn’t about to go outside in 15-degree weather

 **lanceylance:** but if the school was burning

 **carrierpidgeon:** IF THE SCHOOL WAS BURNING I’D GO OUTSIDE

 **carrierpidgeon:** STOP ATTACKING ME

 **lanceylance:** NO

 **lanceylance:** anyway i’m just upset study hall got cut short

 **mattata:** why

 **lanceylance:** less snuggle time w keef

 **carrierpidgeon:** u sad whipped little man

 **lanceylance:** i’m one of the tallest people in this gc!!

 **carrierpidgeon:** …?

 **carrierpidgeon:** it’s shiro, matt, shay, hunk, allura,, you, keith, me

 **lanceylance:** WHAT

 **kogayne:** she’s right

 **lanceylance:** I AM NOT THE THIRD SHORTEST PERSON HERE

 **kogayne:** but you are

 **shayfromstatefarm:** rip

 **lanceylance:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

 **lanceylance:** i can never show my face in public ever again, this is too much

 **kogayne:** hey ur still taller than me

 **kogayne:** and i think you’re pretty cute

 **carrierpidgeon:** EVERY TIME

 **carrierpidgeon:** CAN U TWO NOT

 **kogayne:** LET ME LOVE HIM

 **lanceylance:** YEAH LET HIM HEAL MY BRUISED EGO

 **carrierpidgeon:** keep it up and your ego won’t be the only thing that’s bruised

 **takashmeoutside:** OKAY KIDS SETTLE DOWN

 **shayfromstatefarm:** Dad Voice strikes again

 **takashmeoutside:** yeah i’d rather not have u all killing each other

 **takashmeoutside:** or at least, if u kill each other, can u do it when i’m not aware so i can’t be held as an accomplice in a court of law

 **allurable:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **mattata:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

 **takashmeoutside:** why

 **mattata:** because i can

 **kogayne:** HEY I JUST REALIZED PIDGE BROKE HER BE NICE TO KLANCE RESOLUTION

 **carrierpidgeon:** FUCK THIS IS YOUR FAULT

 **takashmeoutside:** Would You Please Settle Down

 **lanceylance:** this reminds me of that vine

 **hunkerdunker:** [sigh] there’s always a vine

 **lanceylance:** where the two employees are beating the shit out of each other and the guy just has a Slightly Raised voice and he’s like “CAN I GET A WAFFLE”

 **shayfromstatefarm:** rtytjrhegwrdnrewg STOP

 **allurable:** CAN I GET A WAFFLE

 **carrierpidgeon:** waffle machine Broke

 **mattata:** MCDONALDS MEMES

 **takashmeoutside:** CAN YOU ALL GO TO CLASS

 **takashmeoutside:** MATT CAN YOU GO BACK TO WORK

 **mattata:** no

 **takashmeoutside:** PLEASE

 **mattata:** No

 **takashmeoutside:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **carrierpidgeon:** MOOD AF

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** i’ve been refreshing the school website for the last HOUR and FINALLY:

 _(1) photo from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**dinezor:** I CAN SLEEP IN

 **acxalutelynot:** I CAN GO TO BED EARLY

 **lanceylance:** now i can not do my homework and feel even LESS guilty about it

 **carrierpidgeon:** 0-1 is -1

 **lanceylance:** EXACTLY

 **lanceylance:** but actually now i have -10 guilt

 **zethridofmyproblems:** what’s the opposite of guilt

 **carrierpidgeon:** in a court of law, innocence

 **kogayne:** here? probably pride

 **lanceylance:** +10 pride

 **lanceylance:** that SLYTHERIN PRIDE

 **lotoreal:** you’re a slytherin too?

 **dinezor:** WE ARE NOT DOING HOUSE DISCOURSE

 **carrierpidgeon:** DISCOURSE DISCOURSE DISCOURSE DISCOURSE

 **zethridofmyproblems:** battery dying byeee

 **sippinganartini:** oh wow my phone just died

 **carrierpidgeon:** but

 **sippinganartini:** dead bye

 **acxalutelynot:** last time we tried to sort each other there was almost a fistfight

 **kogayne:** smh gryffindors

 **lanceylance:** boi you’re a gryffindor

 **kogayne:** yeah so i should know

 **acxalutelynot:** put it this way: we could only come to a definite conclusion on lotor

 **dinezor:** ACXA WON’T ACCEPT THAT SHE’S A RAVENCLAW

 **acxalutelynot:** I SAID WE’RE NOT DOING THIS

 **dinezor:** AX COME ON

 **dinezor:** AX??

 **dinezor:** DAMMIT

 **kogayne:** welp

 **lanceylance:** she thinks she’s a slytherin doesn’t she

 **dinezor:** yep

 **dinezor:** she’s not even close

 **lanceylance:** sounds like mulletman

 **lanceylance:** boi has a better chance of being in ravenclaw before he’s a slytherin

 **kogayne:** dON’T DRAG ME LIKE THIS

 **lanceylance:** I DO IT WITH LOVE

 **dinezor:** anyway i’m gonna go, good night y’all

 **lotoreal:** acxa’s making me put the phone down to sleep

 **lotoreal:** she also doesn’t want me dealing with “traitors”

 **lotoreal:** good night

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** wait keith

 **kogayne:** yes that’s me

 **carrierpidgeon:** were u gonna tell us that lotor’s been staying with acxa

 **kogayne:** yeah

 **kogayne:** guess he just exposed himself ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **hunkerdunker:** sorry i just looked at my phone really fast and had a heart attack

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m sitting here like “who just sent nudes to the group chat”

 **shayfromstatefarm:** no one, thankfully

 **carrierpidgeon:** I Am Changing The Subject

 **kogayne:** ALIENS

 **lanceylance:** oh boy

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **kogayne:** yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?

 **lanceylance:** so like, everyone’s getting snowed in tomorrow

 **lanceylance:** can i come over

 **kogayne:** lemme ask shiro but i’m down for u being stuck over here

 **lanceylance:** COLD WEATHER CUDDLES

 **kogayne:** u fucking sap

 **lanceylance:** u love sappy lance

 **kogayne:** damn right i do

 **kogayne:** also shiro’s cool with it, although he might end up sneaking over to the altea house

 **kogayne:** so it might end up being just us

 **lanceylance:** ~eyebrow wiggles~

 **kogayne:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **lanceylance:** ~EYEBROW WIGGLE INTENSIFIES~

 **kogayne:** why are u like this

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** anyway, we’re not doing anything till ur 18,

 **lanceylance:** WAIT DID U

 **lanceylance:** BOI THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS EYEBROW WIGGLING ABOUT

 **kogayne:** WHA

 **kogayne:** HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO INTERPRET THAT

 **lanceylance:** IDK JUST NOT LIKE THAT

 **kogayne:** THAT’S LIKE THE ONLY WAY SOMEONE CAN INTERPRET THAT

 **lanceylance:** I WAS TALKING ABOUT A MOVIE MARATHON OR SOME SHIT OR LIKE, 1V1 MARIO KART

 **kogayne:** OH

 **lanceylance:** WHY ARE /U/ LIKE THIS

 **kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** anyway shiro never deleted his old failed gaming channel

 **kogayne:** i have the link saved

 **lanceylance:** LET’S DO IT

 

**_we’re gonna be happy in 2018_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _renamed_ **_we’re gonna be happy in 2018_ ** _to_ **_SNOW HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** it’s time for gratitudes i’m grateful there’s no school tomorrow

 **hunkerdunker:** U TOOK MINE

 **shayfromstatefarm:** DAMMIT LANCE

 **mattata:** I’LL GO SECOND, MY BOSS ALREADY TEXTED ME AND TOLD ME STORE’S CLOSED TOMORROW

 **takashmeoutside:** COME ON MATT

 **mattata:** well,

 **takashmeoutside:** I DON’T HAVE TO SEE SENDAK’S FACE TOMORROW, PUT IT THAT WAY, MOVING ON ALLURA UR TURN

 **allurable:** night class is already cancelled

 **hunkerdunker:** mmm i already did all of the homework, so i won’t be freaking out tomorrow night

 **lanceylance:** i mean i won’t be either,

 **hunkerdunker:** why are u not afraid of not getting it done in time for class

 **lanceylance:** bc i’m not

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ……….

 **shayfromstatefarm:** so anyway i’m grateful that i can sleep in tomorrow morning

 **kogayne:** i’m grateful for everything i have planned tomorrow

 **carrierpidgeon:** can u just say lance and move on

 **kogayne:** i could but it’s more than that

 **kogayne:** >;)

 **takashmeoutside:** yeah so allura i’m definitely leaving for ur house now

 **mattata:** i’m already here slowpoke

 **carrierpidgeon:** I’M GRATEFUL MATT IS OUT OF THE HOUSE

 **mattata:** fight me

 **carrierpidgeon:** get on call of duty right now, i’ll kick your ass

 **mattata:** BRING IT

 **lanceylance:** cool, good round of gratitudes everyone, i’m heading on over to keith’s

 **kogayne:** :D

 **hunkerdunker:** ...shay u wanna come over

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’ll leave in 10 :D :D :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay-put during lunch happened, i get so lucky with lunchtime stay-puts :P
> 
> also the conversation abt living in a different district happened, credit to [amanda](http://archiveofourown.org/users/akbull21) for inspiring that section
> 
> ANYWAY school was out today for snow and then at like, 4 or 4:30 i got a text saying we're cancelled for tomorrow too, so
> 
> don't think i'm gonna write a thursday chapter, might do one for friday but i rEALLY WANNA FINISH THE NYE ONESHOT so byeee see ya whenever


	82. matt's bad romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> recap for thursday & friday chapters that didn't happen: lance and keith spend two straight (lmfao nothing straight about them) days at the brogane house by themselves; hunk and shay spend two straight days at hunk's; pidge spends two straight days by herself with her parents at the holt house; shalluratt spends two straight days together at the altea mansion.
> 
> saturday chapter summary: matt's having issues thanks to a douchebag in 7/11 at 2 AM, ft. the holt sibs, broganes, and other gc shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is long for absolutely no reason
> 
> here we gooo
> 
>  
> 
> **trigger warning for implied/referenced homophobia**

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**mattata:** quick question

**lanceylance:** at 2 AM?

**mattata:** yeah, i’m at 7/11

**takashmeoutside:** so am i

**allurable:** that makes 3 of us

**kogayne:** that explains why shiro never came home today

**lanceylance:** gave me an excuse not to leave

**kogayne:** so what’s ur problem

**mattata:** oh good!! keith’s awake!!

**mattata:** you might have an answer to this

**kogayne:** uhh?

**mattata:** how do u get away with murder and make it look like an accident

**kogayne:** what?

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT

**allurable:** do u have an answer or not

**takashmeoutside:** we need it before this guy leaves

**lanceylance:** elaborate please?

**shayfromstatefarm:** sorry i just opened the group chat what’s happening

**mattata:** some guy saw me and shiro and allura and made some nasty comments

**takashmeoutside:** he more than did that

**kogayne:** yeah i’m gonna hop out on this one, lance can take this

**lanceylance:** um

**lanceylance:** hunk take it away bud i’m gonna go hang out with keith

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M GONNA SEE IF SHERRIE’S AWAKE  B Y E

**hunkerdunker:** i saw my name what’s happening

**hunkerdunker:** oh

**takashmeoutside:** dammit the guy just left

**shayfromstatefarm:** are u guys gonna explain what he said or just leave it

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t feel like repeating it

**mattata:** it’s nothing incredibly important

**allurable:** /matt/

**mattata:** it’s not

**hunkerdunker:** uhhh okay then i’m gonna go to bed?

**shayfromstatefarm:** me too

 

**_mattata > carrierpidgeon_ **

**mattata:** u still up

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s 4 in the morning

**carrierpidgeon:** of course i am what’s up

**mattata:** u don’t think i’m a joke, do you

**carrierpidgeon:** ...what’s going on, brother of mine

**mattata:** i

**mattata:** okay so u know earlier

**carrierpidgeon:** when u were at 7/11 at 2 AM for no reason

**mattata:** yeah 

**mattata:** uh, number one, sorry if shiro or i said anything that may have set u off

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean u didn’t, i stopped looking at the gc before u went any further, but go on

**mattata:** okay so like

**mattata:** the guy

**mattata:** number one he insinuated some pretty nasty things about us bedroom wise but then he like, looked at me, and like,

**mattata:** how do i put this in terms you’ll be comfortable with and will make me comfortable to explain to u

**mattata:** he was like, comparing me to shiro

**mattata:** and like “oh, you two are with /him/?” and...pretty much shit all over my self-esteem

**mattata:** and i was fine for a bit but now kashi and lura are asleep and i’m??? thinking

**carrierpidgeon:** overthinking sounds more like it

**carrierpidgeon:** what’s eating at you this time

**mattata:** i’m...just not as good as them, i guess

**mattata:** shiro’s all buff and stuff and i know allura likes that and he’s got 3 degrees and allura’s got her life together and she’s beautiful and shiro likes that and i’m...just matt

**mattata:** i’m a fuckin noodle with one degree and hair i can’t bother cutting

**mattata:** and they’re just??? so cool????? and i

**mattata:** i’m a fucking joke

**mattata:** half the time i say something in a group chat i just get told to stop talking, and half the time that happens it comes from one of them, and??????????

**carrierpidgeon:** oh jeez

**carrierpidgeon:** this is a relationship problem

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m literally the last person u should be asking

**mattata:** BUT YOU’RE THE SMARTEST PERSON IN OUR FRIEND GROUP ASIDE FROM SHIRO AND ALLURA

**carrierpidgeon:** not in the romance department, i’m hopelessly pining, so

**carrierpidgeon:** u want relationship advice, try klance or hunay, not me

**carrierpidgeon:** just know that i’m ur little sister, i’m not obligated to think ur cool, but i think ur one of the coolest and smartest people around

**carrierpidgeon:** ur the one who kept me interested in stem when i was getting made fun of for it, you’re the reason i like video games and can kick anyone’s ass (bc u kicked mine for so long i had to level up my skills just to be anywhere near u) and just bc u have one degree doesn’t mean ur any less intelligent or awesome than anyone else

**carrierpidgeon:** u may be a noodle but i know shiro and allura love u a lot, they don’t care that ur a noodle, it just means ur easier to cuddle with bc they can cuddle all of u

**carrierpidgeon:** also i’m sorry that i’ve been rude in the group chat, i wish u would’ve told me sooner or like, punted me down the stairs or something, i love u and i don’t wanna see u get hurt

**mattata:** those were some of the nicest things u’ve ever said to me

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m not always a gremlin ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** now can i get back to mario kart

**mattata:** are u winning or is ur girlfriend

**carrierpidgeon:** SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND YET

**mattata:** :P

**carrierpidgeon:** also what do u take me for, of course i’m winning

**mattata:** ah, that’s my baby sister

 

**_mattata_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ , _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ , _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ , and  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ to  _ **_matt’s bad romance_ **

**kogayne:** should i be afraid that this is a notification i’m getting at 4 AM

**mattata:** i don’t feel like typing everything out but here

_ (5) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**kogayne:** oh

**lanceylance:** RELATABLE

**kogayne:** wha

**kogayne:** okay u and i are talking later

**hunkerdunker:** jeez

**hunkerdunker:** matt, i’m sorry if i’ve ever told u to shut up or that you were being obnoxious

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

**lanceylance:** same

**kogayne:** yep

**mattata:** WHY ARE ALL OF YOU AWAKE I THOUGHT I’D GET MAYBE LIKE TWO OF YOU, IF THAT

**kogayne:** uhhh

**lanceylance:** not important let’s focus on you right now

**kogayne:** number one: did you talk to shiro and allura before they went to sleep

**mattata:** ...no…

**lanceylance:** are

**lanceylance:** are you kidding me

**hunkerdunker:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**mattata:** I DIDN’T WANNA BOTHER THEM WITH IT OR MAKE THEM FEEL BAD

**kogayne:** how did u manage a relationship for four years

**mattata:** KEITH

**kogayne:** u should’ve talked to them

**mattata:** BUT

**mattata:** MMMMMM

**shayfromstatefarm:** bottling things up is no good for anyone

**shayfromstatefarm:** but it’s especially not good in a relationship

**kogayne:** relationships are built on communication

**kogayne:** yeah there are times when u don’t wanna tell ur s/o what’s up but that can lead to bitterness and resentment for both parties

**kogayne:** bitterness for u, bc ur not getting the help/attention u need, and bitterness for ur s/os bc they’re not being told what’s bothering u, so they’re gonna read it as anger, then they’ll be angry bc ur angry and not saying why

**kogayne:** like dude, i get it, u don’t wanna feel like a burden, but ur in a relationship bc they want all of u

**lanceylance:** ^^^^!! they don’t just want happy matt, they want sad matt and angry matt and every matt there is

**lanceylance:** ur s/os are there to lift u up when ur down

**shayfromstatefarm:** but they’ll never know to help u if u don’t tell them. i say as soon as possible, you sit down with them and have a serious discussion about the relationship. 

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**lanceylance:** but also it would’ve been better to discuss it before u went to bed but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**mattata:** why

**kogayne:** so u don’t go to bed bitter and wake up bitter

**lanceylance:** ^^^ especially if ur serious about being with them forever

**lanceylance:** when keith and i started getting serious, like...what, 8 months in

**kogayne:** oh jeez this story

**lanceylance:** i mean we can skip over that part if u want

**kogayne:** nah it’s fine

**kogayne:** i had my first mental breakdown in front of lance, right

**kogayne:** right around this time of year, actually. last year.

**kogayne:** i went radio silent on him like, all day afterward, bc i was embarrassed and angry he saw me like that and stuff like that and i didn’t wanna talk about it

**lanceylance:** which is RIDICULOUS bc i was basically on the verge of a breakdown when nyma and i broke up sophomore year and u were RIGHT THERE and you’d SEEN ME BREAK DOWN AFTER THAT

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** yeah i know go on

**kogayne:** anyway lance literally drove over to my house ILLEGALLY and picked me up and we went to the park and sat down

**lanceylance:** on the swings bc i’m romantic like that

**kogayne:** stfu u sap

**lanceylance:** ;D

**kogayne:** and we basically came to the conclusion that we’re not allowed to go to bed mad at each other or bothered about something that has to do with each other

**kogayne:** we vowed right there that it didn’t matter if we stayed up for hours, we’d work through any issues between us before we went to sleep so we could wake up feeling better and not bitter

**lanceylance:** TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK

**lanceylance:** but also like

**lanceylance:** keith’s got depression, i’ve got depression

**lanceylance:** i know u and shiro have depression

**lanceylance:** it’s genuinely hard some days to open up and it’s just too much

**lanceylance:** but bottling things isn’t a good habit to get into

**lanceylance:** open up to shiro and allura as soon as possible so u guys can work this issue out

**mattata:** ...alright

**mattata:** thanks

**lanceylance:** anytime dude!

**kogayne:** no problem

**hunkerdunker:** of course

**shayfromstatefarm:** always

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s 25

**kogayne:** yeah i know

**kogayne:** just be grateful he wasn’t texting you at 4 AM when he discovered he was polyam and still hopelessly in love with shiro /and/ allura

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO, I CAN’T BE GRATEFUL

**hunkerdunker:** YOU TOOK IT TO THE PHYSICS GROUP CHAT, KEITH

**kogayne:** ...WHOOPS

**hunkerdunker:** also, lance

**lanceylance:** WHOOP GOTTA GO TO BED

**kogayne:** no you don’t, sit down

**hunkerdunker:** SIT DOWN MR. “TALK ABOUT UR FEELINGS”

**hunkerdunker:** why did u say matt’s statements were relatable

**hunkerdunker:** what’s going on with you

**lanceylance:** it’s nothing like, huge

**lanceylance:** not enough for an episode or attack

**lanceylance:** and it’s not really anything lately

**lanceylance:** but sometimes i do just feel like a joke, yknow

**lanceylance:** like, other than when i’m trying to be

**lanceylance:** i didn’t mean it like “oh i’m being attacked all the time and i’m just not gonna tell u guys”

**lanceylance:** sorry if it came off that way

**hunkerdunker:** don’t apologize

**kogayne:** pls tell us when ur feeling like that :(

**shayfromstatefarm:** we wanna support u

**lanceylance:** i know i know i will

**lanceylance:** i love u guys

**hunkerdunker:** we love u too man

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i wanna kill a person

**kogayne:** can you and matt take a note out of allura’s book and stop sending cryptic texts to open up ur rants

**kogayne:** u can just start with the rant u know

**takashmeoutside:** okay number one, i know matt talked to you guys last night

**kogayne:** DID YOU GO SNOOPING THROUGH HIS PHONE

**takashmeoutside:** NO??? KEITH WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** CAN YOU NOT WORD THINGS THE WAY YOU DO

**takashmeoutside:** no, i talked to matt. and allura. the three of us talked. matt told us he went to you guys and showed us the texts.

**kogayne:** are you here to ask for relationship advice

**takashmeoutside:** well number one i wanna kill the guy in 7/11

**takashmeoutside:** number two i feel like i should thank him bc...wow okay that sounds bad, i don’t wanna thank him, but matt’s opening up, so

**kogayne:** yeah i get what you mean

**takashmeoutside:** number whatever: HELP ME MAKE THIS BETTER

**kogayne:** ???? uhhh be nicer to matt?

**takashmeoutside:** yeah i got that

**kogayne:** show ur appreciation more often?

**kogayne:** keep in mind:

**kogayne:** u broke up freshman year of college and for a while u thought u would get back together, and then u went and asked out allura and then dated her for like, 5 years??? before u got back with matt, so

**kogayne:** there’s 5 years of established relationship matt missed out on, he’s gonna view u guys as a lot closer by default bc now he feels like an intruder on this relationship

**kogayne:** or like, that’s according to the psychoanalysis lance and i did last night

**takashmeoutside:** why were u and lance psychoanalyzing my boyfriend

**kogayne:** WHAT ELSE WERE WE SUPPOSED TO DO

**takashmeoutside:** go to sleep???

**kogayne:** absolutely not

**kogayne:** lance needed help too

**takashmeoutside:** wow can u believe this is our lives

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m happy with it, could be a lot worse

**takashmeoutside:** true

**takashmeoutside:** thanks

**kogayne:** yep

**kogayne:** don’t be urself up too much over it, also tell matt and allura lance and i say hi

**takashmeoutside:** will do

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll probably be home later

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** lance refuses to go home, i am entering day 3 of lanceland

**takashmeoutside:** wow don’t sound so down abt it

**kogayne:** ??? I LOVE LANCELAND SHUT UP SHIRO

**kogayne:** besides this is practice for when we’re married

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ have fun, tell lance i say hi

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■) gotcha

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** is anyone alive enough to come to the café today and work

**kogayne:** lance and i can come

**lanceylance:** did u just volunteer me

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** ...yeah sure

**carrierpidgeon:** i can go if someone picks me up

**lanceylance:** we can

**hunkerdunker:** i’m comin in

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh wow i didn’t think i’d manage to get all of you

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** cabin fever

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah that sounds more like it

**shayfromstatefarm:** the roads are still questionable and it’s still cold as fuck so we don’t expect a ton of customers but w/e

**allurable:** you kids have fun

**takashmeoutside:** keith bring me back coffee

**kogayne:** fine

**mattata:** hey pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah yeah i’ve got u covered

**lanceylance:** allura u want me stop at ur house when i bring the two of them home

**allurable:** sure, thanks!!

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** update i hate people

**takashmeoutside:** welcome to the club

**allurable:** what happened

**lanceylance:** chit-chattin with the crew, yknow, fillin out orders

**lanceylance:** casual employee banter

**lanceylance:** hunk told me to do something straight

**lanceylance:** i forgot i was in public and made a bi joke and some dUDEBRO, FROM ACROSS THE FUCKIN CAFÉ, STANDS UP

**lanceylance:** AND GOES ON A HOMOPHOBIC TIRADE ABOUT HOW HE DOESN’T WANT HIS MEAL “TARNISHED” BY “UNCLEAN HANDS” 

**hunkerdunker:** which we all knew was code for anyone who’s not straight

**carrierpidgeon:** joke’s on that fucker

**shayfromstatefarm:** rax kicked him out

**lanceylance:** granted we got applause from everyone else in there when we pointed out that it doesn’t matter who you like, we’re all in the café for food and drinks

**hunkerdunker:** well, except for this lady with an “i wanna speak to the manager” haircut who walked out with her two kids

**lanceylance:** true, but

**lanceylance:** still

**lanceylance:** shay if this affects business i am so sorry

**shayfromstatefarm:** ???? why sorry

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s 2018 these people need to get with the program

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m gonna put an lgbt+ safe space sticker on the front door

**shayfromstatefarm:** see what happens then

**kogayne:** promo the café at the next gsa meeting

**lanceylance:** we haven’t had gsa in so long

**hunkerdunker:** blame drama club

**kogayne:** yeah i know but listen i’m serious

**kogayne:** promo the café at gsa as a safe space for lgbt+ youth and others to hang out, and then we can host hangouts there with other gsas in the other schools?????

**shayfromstatefarm:** KEITH THAT’S ACTUALLY REALLY SMART

**kogayne:** thanks i try

**carrierpidgeon:** when /is/ the next gsa meeting

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ this week??? next week??? i forget

**takashmeoutside:** shouldn’t all of you be working right now

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s almost closing

**hunkerdunker:** we haven’t had a customer in 15 minutes

**carrierpidgeon:** every time someone opens the door the cold air comes in and hOLY SHIT even the walk to lance’s car is gonna be brutal

**lanceylance:** i’m not looking forward to it

**takashmeoutside:** so what are you all doing now

**hunkerdunker:** well i’m on register

**shayfromstatefarm:** i volunteered to sit behind the counter with him

**carrierpidgeon:** my shift already ended

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ve been doing homework

**mattata:** VOLUNTARILY?

**carrierpidgeon:** i got desperate, i had nothing else to do

**allurable:** and what’s klance up to

**hunkerdunker:** do we really wanna know

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** we’re cold

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...i can barely see u

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE BLANKETS

**lanceylance:** i’ve had them stashed back here from day 1

**kogayne:** he’s prepared

**lanceylance:** he keeps stealing my jackets, i gotta stay warm somehow

**kogayne:** wearing your s/o’s jacket is modern romance, lance

**carrierpidgeon:** why do i feel like when u do senior jackets for drama u two are just gonna wear each others’

**kogayne:** ????? wasn’t it obvious??????

**carrierpidgeon:** u two are ridiculous

**carrierpidgeon:** scute tho

**kogayne:** thanks we try

**kogayne:** hey do u guys wanna do gratitudes now in case we freeze to death on the way home

**shayfromstatefarm:** sure

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah why not

**kogayne:** cool who’s going first

**mattata:** thankful for this friend group

**mattata:** u guys are supportive af

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**takashmeoutside:** i’m thankful for matt. been here for 20 years no matter what bullshit i’ve put him through

**mattata:** kASHI U CAN’T DO THIS TO ME

**allurable:** i am also grateful for matthew holt, college with him was an experience and i’m glad he’s here now  <3

**mattata:** L U R A

**carrierpidgeon:** gonna totally interrupt i’m grateful for coffee

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s hot and it keeps me awake

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...how many of your coffees did you make by yourself today

**carrierpidgeon:** ALL OF THEM

**shayfromstatefarm:** AND HOW MANY ESPRESSO SHOTS DID YOU USE

**carrierpidgeon:** A L L  O F  T H E M

**shayfromstatefarm:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** GET BACK TO GRATITUDES SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** I’M GRATEFUL THAT ALL MY FRIENDS WORK HERE BUT SERIOUSLY ONE OF US NEEDS TO GO ON PIDGE DUTY

**hunkerdunker:** smh

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful that today was a slow business day bc i’m tired

**lanceylance:** shoutout to the inventor of blankets, whoever decided to make big pieces of fabric that kept u warm, ur a fuckin genius

**kogayne:** shoutout to lance for thinking ahead and stashing blankets here, and also being really warm

**takashmeoutside:** half of ur gratitudes lately have consisted of lance and heat

**kogayne:** I LOVE LANCE AND I LIKE BEING WARM, IS THERE A PROBLEM

**lanceylance:** :) soft keef

**takashmeoutside:** HE’S YELLING AT ME HOW IS THAT SOFT

**lanceylance:** he does it with love

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** love for me

**lanceylance:** look at this fond face

**kogayne:** ur being just as cute hold on

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** can we appreciate this

**carrierpidgeon:** i’d say “get a room” but u kind of already did

**hunkerdunker:** two can play at this game

**lanceylance:** keith...me...there are already two of us

**hunkerdunker:** -_-

**hunkerdunker:** THREE CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME

_ (4) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** look at my fUCKIN GIRLFRIEND

**hunkerdunker:** she makes the apron really work

**hunkerdunker:** the rest of us are fools, mere mortals in the presence of a goddess

**shayfromstatefarm:** H UNK

**hunkerdunker:** :)

_ (7) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** bUT LOOK AT HUNK

**shayfromstatefarm:** there’s so much here to love

**shayfromstatefarm:** the slight eyebrow tilt, the distant look in his eyes, thoughtful, pondering the universe

**hunkerdunker:** mostly pondering whether or not my car is gonna start but i’ll take the universe :P

**hunkerdunker:** <3333

**lanceylance:** i fuckin hope my car starts

**kogayne:** i can hotwire it probably

**takashmeoutside:** why do u know how to hotwire things

**kogayne:** don’t question it and you’ll be fine

**carrierpidgeon:** i know how to hotwire a car too

**mattata:** WHY DO /YOU/ KNOW HOW TO HOTWIRE A CAR

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t question it and you’ll be fine

**hunkerdunker:** the cryptkids are we surprised

**kogayne:** ALL I DID WAS RESEARCH IT

**takashmeoutside:** W H Y

**kogayne:** SURVIVAL TACTICS

**kogayne:** YOU DON’T MAKE A HABIT OF SPENDING HOURS INVESTIGATING THE PARANORMAL AND THE CRYPTIC WITHOUT STUDYING UP ON SURVIVAL SKILLS

**takashmeoutside:** but when would

**takashmeoutside:** you know what never mind

**kogayne:** THERE ARE LIKE 57 DIFFERENT SCENARIOS I COULD LIST WITHOUT THINKING

**allurable:** honestly u guys should be grateful it’s for survival skills and not because they’re like, leading double lives as master criminals

**kogayne:** ...yeah let’s go with that

**lanceylance:** hannah montana hid her identity for years and keith is even sneakier than miley soooo

**kogayne:** shut up lance

**lanceylance:** the up has been shut

**takashmeoutside:** …….um…...wHAT

**kogayne:** SHHHHHHHHH YOU SAW NOTHING

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** BUT IT’S RIGHT THERE

**kogayne:** SHHH NO IT’S NOT

**carrierpidgeon:** [waves hand] you have seen nothing

**takashmeoutside:** your jedi mind tricks only work on the weak

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah so it’s working right

**takashmeoutside:** :O

**mattata:** pffffft

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay it’s been like half an hour since we had a customer, i think we should close early and call it a night

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s cold and dark and i wanna go home, and it’s only a half hour till regular closing anyway

**shayfromstatefarm:** all hands on deck, the sooner we close up the sooner everyone goes home

**lanceylance:** BET

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** lance wants me to come over

**kogayne:** i’m going to his house, but we’ll swing by and drop off your coffee first

**takashmeoutside:** how are you two not sick of each other

**takashmeoutside:** your young hormonal brain should be bored by now

**kogayne** : stfu u dated matt for four years and then went to college and were roommates 

**takashmeoutside:** /and they were roommates/

**kogayne:** this conversation is cancelled

**takashmeoutside:** smh

**kogayne:** but honestly i’m like never sick of him

**kogayne:** anyway how’s it going with matt and allura

**takashmeoutside:** we talked more, we talked through anything that’s been bothering all of us, we’re working through it together. no one’s breaking up with anyone, we’re all good over here

**kogayne:** see

**kogayne:** all good in the neighborhood

**kogayne:** ...right

**kogayne:** or is there anything you’re not telling me

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me who’s the concerned adult and who’s the troublesome teen in this relationship

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** but no, we’re all good

**takashmeoutside:** thanks for helping us out this morning

**kogayne:** no problem, i come to you screaming about lance enough, it was all i could do to return the favor

**takashmeoutside:** is there any other wisdom you’d like to impart

**kogayne:** not really, uhhh

**kogayne:** idk, we’ve all had depressive episodes before

**kogayne:** keep an eye on matt the next few days?

**kogayne:** (and yes i know u think he’s attractive and u keep an eye 24/7 U KNOW WHAT I MEAN)

**takashmeoutside:** damn u beat me to it

**takashmeoutside:** yeah i will

**takashmeoutside:** u said u had something to take care of with lance?

**kogayne:** everything’s being taken care of

**kogayne:** nothing super awful or super pressing, just gotta make sure he doesn’t have a sudden downward spiral and we should be good

**kogayne:** although if he did i wouldn’t care, i’d be there bc everyone knows i put him thru hell every other week

**takashmeoutside:** i’m sure he doesn’t mind

**kogayne:** which is exactly why i wouldn’t mind if he did

**kogayne:** TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK

**takashmeoutside:** u two rub off on each other so much it’s scary

**kogayne:** like matt didn’t rub off on u over the course of 20 years

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** welp

**kogayne:** i’m gonna go, i’ll see u in like, 10 minutes

**takashmeoutside:** u gonna grab a change of clothes or nah

**kogayne:** lance has been wearing my clothes for the last three days, it’s time for me to return the favor

**kogayne:** ...okay i might grab pants bc he’s a leggy boy but otherwise i’m good

**takashmeoutside:** alright see u soon

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** i’m gonna regret answering this bc i was about to go to sleep but what’s wrong

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** are u finally with sherrie

**carrierpidgeon:** smh i wish

**carrierpidgeon:** she just texted me asking for an all night video game tournament on steam with some of her other friends i’m?????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** sTOP TEXTING US, GO KICK THEIR ASSES AND MAKE US PROUD

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY I WILL

**kogayne:** GO GET EM NESSIE DENIER

**hunkerdunker:** ...can i go to sleep now

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**lanceylance:** go

**kogayne:** night

**hunkerdunker:** GOOD NIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the original, scrapped version of this chapter, matt ran out at 3 AM and sat in his car in negative degree weather, wanted to break up with shiro and allura, and lance and shiro got into a screaming match. ...yeah there's a reason the original got scrapped :P
> 
> anyway y'all are great i want y'all to know that
> 
> i don't reply to all of the comments but i read all of them and i appreciate each and every one of u, i'm glad y'all like this <3
> 
> no sunday chapter, monday may or may not happen,,,,, ANYWAY see y'all whenever the next one goes up
> 
> (drinking game: take a shot every time i say "y'all"...i'm not even from the south wtf)


	83. BONUS: the scrapped version of matt's bad romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The slighlty ooc, overly-dramatic version of chapter 82 that I scrapped. Because you heathens kept asking for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno why you guys kept asking for this but ask and ye shall receive I guess?
> 
> Disclaimer: As this is the scrapped version, nothing here is story canon, **so you do not need to read this if you don't want to**. I scrapped this because it ended up mildly ooc, especially regarding Shiro and Pidge (in my personal opinion). Half of this was written at 2 AM on a caffeine high while I was on my "Black Paladin Lance 2k18/Shiro is a clone and can't be trusted 2k18/these will both be canon in season 5 or I will make it happen 2k18" mood. So, uh, yeah. The chapter also ends abruptly because that's where I fell asleep, and when I woke up and read it I went "lmao hell no."
> 
>  **Trigger warnings:**  
>  -Irresponsible drinking (people get tipsy, not full-on drunk, but idk I felt like putting this)  
> -Depressive episode mentions/explanations  
> -Anxiety attack mentions  
> -Runaways (like, if the idea of running away/being a runaway is triggering...idk I feel like this is needed)
> 
> Okay read on remember I scrapped this for a reason!!!

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i fucked up, you have to help me

**kogayne:** it’s 3 AM

**takashmeoutside:** shut up and listen

**kogayne:** ...you did something bad

**takashmeoutside:** yes i fucked up and it’s about matt.

**kogayne:** ...shit

**kogayne:** hold on

 

**_kogayne_ ** _ added  _ **_takashmeoutside_ ** _ and  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ to  _ **_shiro’s having a crisis_ **

**takashmeoutside:** why

**kogayne:** bc if it’s about matt then u need relationship advice

**takashmeoutside:** OKAY CAN YOU SHUT UP WE CAN DO THAT LATER

**takashmeoutside:** LISTEN

**takashmeoutside:** allura matt and i were goofing around earlier and we were a LITTLE tipsy on leftover alcohol from nye and we said some things that might’ve been a little hurtful

**lanceylance:** oh no

**takashmeoutside:** matt laughed it off like it was nothing but we KNEW something was up but he didn’t wanna talk about it so we left it alone and went to sleep

**takashmeoutside:** and i just woke up to go to the bathroom and MATT ISN’T HERE, HIS CAR IS GONE

**takashmeoutside:** AND HE WON’T ANSWER HIS PHONE

**kogayne:** WHY DID YOU GO TO BED WITHOUT RESOLVING THE ISSUE

**takashmeoutside:** WE DIDN’T WANNA PUSH HIM

**lanceylance:** okay we’ll come back to that

**kogayne:** DID YOU TRY TRACKING HIS PHONE

**takashmeoutside:** I DID, MATT MUST’VE SHUT IT OFF BC HE’S NOT COMING UP

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna try and text him

**lanceylance:** if keith texts he might get suspicious but if i text he might just assume i wanna talk about memes

**kogayne:** i’ll check in with pidge

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** hey did ur bro randomly come home by any chance

**carrierpidgeon:** no?

**carrierpidgeon:** why?

**kogayne:** no reason

**carrierpidgeon:** um no there’s clearly a reason you’d be texting me about matt at 3 AM

**kogayne:** um, something happened with shiro and allura, and next thing u know matt’s not in the house

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG HE’S BEEN GONE

**kogayne:** uh, no

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** i’ll try and find out more but if he comes home please text me

**carrierpidgeon:** if u find out more let me know before i lose my shit

**kogayne:** alright

 

**_lanceylance > mattata_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** check out these spicy memes

**lanceylance:** what do u think of them

**mattata:** i know what you’re doing and i don’t wanna talk.

**lanceylance:** can u at least tell me where u are? 

**mattata:** no, because you know damn well someone’s gonna come after me. tell everyone i’m fine. tell shiro and allura i’m sorry, but i can’t. i can’t date both of them anymore. i’m breaking up with them.

**lanceylance:** ...what?

**lanceylance:** hold on hold on hold on

**lanceylance:** i promise i won’t show this conversation to anyone, i won’t send screenshots, but i wanna at least know why

**mattata:** it’s not important.

**lanceylance:** yeah, that’s where you’re wrong, it’s pretty important.

**lanceylance:** it was important enough for you to run out in the middle of the night in freezing weather bc being in that house was too overwhelming.

**mattata:** ...you swear you won’t say anything?

**lanceylance:** i’ll only tell everyone what you want me to. it’s not my place to tell them whatever’s bugging you. BUT, you’re going to have to open up eventually.

**lanceylance:** now what’s going on?

**mattata:** i knew there was a reason shiro and i didn’t get back together after we broke up the first time.

**mattata:** i love him and i love allura to pieces but the two of them are just so much closer than either of them are to me

**mattata:** and sometimes they’ll say things and it seems like all i am is a walking joke to them

**mattata:** sometimes the group chat even does it and i’m fucking done, i can’t do it anymore

**mattata:** this is sophomore year of college all over again and i’m not here for it

**lanceylance:** dude…

**lanceylance:** you told them, right?

**mattata:** …

**lanceylance:** you need to tell them

**lanceylance:** lack of communication is the reason so many relationships fail

**lanceylance:** i think if you told them, and told the group chat, things’ll work out a lot better than if you keep this bottled and go through with a breakup

**lanceylance:** i’m not saying you need to tell them tonight, or even today, or even in the next few days, but you need to do it sooner rather than later.

**lanceylance:** take some time for urself, but don’t act irrationally

**lanceylance:** especially not on impulses you got at 3 in the morning

**mattata:** ...i am 25 years old

**mattata:** sitting in a cold car by myself at 3 AM on a friday

**mattata:** getting relationship advice from a high schooler

**mattata:** glad to know this is my life

**lanceylance:** yeah also please go somewhere warm

**lanceylance:** go to a 24 hour restaurant or come over here or go home or back to the alteas’ but please go somewhere other than out in the cold

**lanceylance:** and text me /with proof/ that you’ve gotten somewhere warm

**mattata:** ...fine

 

**_shiro’s having a crisis_ **

**lanceylance:** so i was able to reach matt

**takashmeoutside:** IS HE OKAY

**lanceylance:** he’s okay in the sense that he’s alive, if that’s what you meant

**lanceylance:** he wouldn’t say where he was, just that he was fine

**lanceylance:** he’s sitting in his car somewhere, and i told him to go somewhere warm, and he said he would, but i don’t think he’s going back to allura’s

**kogayne:** speaking of allura is she even awake, does she know what’s going on

**takashmeoutside:** no but i’m gonna have to tell her, bc if i go back to sleep and she wakes up before me…

**takashmeoutside:** lance did he say what was up

**lanceylance:** he did but it’s not my place to tell you

**takashmeoutside:** I AM HAVING A CRISIS

**lanceylance:** WELL BOY SHIRO YOU’D THINK YOU’D HAVE HANDLED IT BETTER

**takashmeoutside:** LANCE I’M NOT PLAYING AROUND

**lanceylance:** AND NEITHER AM I, DO YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION TO WHAT GOES ON

**kogayne:** okay guys,

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE 25 AND YOU’VE ALREADY GONE THROUGH IT ONCE WITH MATT AND MISSED HIM PINING FOR SEVEN YEARS, YOU’D THINK BY NOW YOU’D HAVE LEARNED TO FIGURE OUT WHEN HE’S BOTHERED

**lanceylance:** YOU SEE KEITH AND I DO IT OFTEN ENOUGH, YOU CAN READ KEITH, AND YET SOMEHOW YOU HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT HOW TO READ MATT? AND YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 20 YEARS?

**takashmeoutside:** I DON’T SEE YOU YELLING AT /HIM/ TO OPEN UP AND COMMUNICATE IF THAT’S WHAT YOU AND KEITH ALWAYS ACT SO HIGH AND MIGHTY ABOUT

**lanceylance:** HIGH AND MIGHTY? /HIGH AND MIGHTY/? FOR ADVOCATING A BASIC RELATIONSHIP BLOCK THAT PEOPLE ALWAYS SEEM TO OVERLOOK?

**kogayne:** LANCE. SHIRO. ENOUGH.

**lanceylance:** AND FOR THE RECORD, I /DID/ TALK TO HIM, BUT HE’S /HURTING/ RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE DEPRESSION. KEITH HAS DEPRESSION. I HAVE DEPRESSION. MATT HAS FUCKING DEPRESSION. YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO OPEN UP, ESPECIALLY WITH THINGS THAT ARE AFFECTING YOU DEEPLY. I HAVE /WATCHED/ YOU GO SILENT IN THE GROUP CHAT. I KNOW THERE ARE DAYS /YOU/ REFUSED TO OPEN UP.

**takashmeoutside:** I’VE NEVER RUN OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN NEGATIVE DEGREE WEATHER AND GIVEN MY BOYFRIEND A HEART ATTACK.

**kogayne:** LANCE, BACK OFF. SHIRO, BACK OFF.

**kogayne:** SHUT UP. YOU’RE BOTH GETTING RIDICULOUS.

**kogayne:** WE’RE ALL CONCERNED FOR MATT, OKAY? HE’S KIND OF THE REASON WE’RE TEXTING?

**kogayne:** everyone breathe.

**kogayne:** shiro, what did you and allura say?

**takashmeoutside:** it...was mostly me

**kogayne:** oh my god

**takashmeoutside:** i didn’t mean to hurt him, i just said some things that...probably dug a little deeper than they should’ve

**takashmeoutside:** y’know, he’d make a joke, and i’d...tell him to shut up, and then i may have mentioned his 7-year pining

**kogayne:** …

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** he just got home and went straight to his room

**kogayne:** thanks for letting me know

**carrierpidgeon:** do you know what happened with him?

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** what the fuck

**kogayne:** i’m internally screaming and lance threw his phone across the room

**kogayne:** and right before this lance and shiro were at each others’ throats

**carrierpidgeon:** good bc i’m about to fucking kill him

**carrierpidgeon:** do the three of them just not talk?? do they just hang out and fuck? how do they not know that matt has a lot of insecurities about college and the relationship?

**kogayne:** can you elaborate? matt only told lance what was up but lance won’t say anything bc it’s not his place (which i can respect but like,,,)

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s told me he sometimes feels like a third wheel in that relationship

**carrierpidgeon:** after shiro got together with allura he was pretty torn up, he’s told me stories about getting blackout drunk and waking up on quad benches or on the sidewalk or in the dorm and not remembering a single thing

**carrierpidgeon:** and now that shiro and allura have been together for years, matt feels like he’s missed out on a lot

**carrierpidgeon:** there are inside jokes he doesn’t know about and u can literally see that they’re a lot closer to each other than they are to him

**kogayne:** ...holy shit…

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s been trying to push through it but it’s been eating at him and i think he finally hit his breaking point

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna go try and talk to him and see if i can get any more out of him but no promises on whether or not i can tell u anything else

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** i really don’t know how to reply to shiro, and lance doesn’t wanna say anything else to him atm

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro and matt are 25 and need to learn to deal with their fucking issues

**carrierpidgeon:** especially if shiro’s blowing up on lance

**carrierpidgeon:** why did they blow up anyway

**kogayne:** lance called him out and he tried to call lance out

**carrierpidgeon:** fucking good for lance

**carrierpidgeon:** i know u love shiro dearly and i love matt dearly but they need to get it together so GOOD FOR LANCE, make sure he knows i’m proud of him

**carrierpidgeon:** bc honestly, if you take shiro’s side here, i will actually kill you

**kogayne:** i mean i’m not really trying to take sides here but uhhh yeah shiro’s fucked up pretty bad, so

**kogayne:** lance is ALSO anxious that shiro’s gonna come here and kick him out of the house so i’m gonna go deal with that for the night

 

**_mattata > lanceylance_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** i’m home. i swear.

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** get some sleep

**lanceylance:** text me in the morning, alright?

**lanceylance:** or have pidge text me

**lanceylance:** or text keith

**lanceylance:** just get into contact with me or keith tomorrow morning

**mattata:** alright. 

**mattata:** thanks.

**lanceylance:** np

 

**_shiro’s having a crisis_ **

**lanceylance:** matt got home safe. i’m going to bed.

**lanceylance:** good night.

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i’m going to bed too

**kogayne:** in the meantime, here are several things for you to consider. know that i love u like ur my brother but ur being absolutely fucking ridiculous, ur 25 and need to get ur shit together

**kogayne:** u managed 3 college degrees while taking care of me, u can manage this

**kogayne:** 1\. you and lance need to make up. he’s currently on the verge of an anxiety attack but he doesn’t want any more contact tonight.

**kogayne:** 2\. you, matt, and allura all need to sit down and have a serious discussion. i’ll be contacting him in the morning about this, too, but the three of you need to fucking communicate.

**kogayne:** 3\. lance was making valid points. you had a couple too, but you spent a lot of time deflecting. i know you like to think you know what you’re doing, but next time, listen. 

**kogayne:** i’m going. i’ve got a boy to take care of. i’ll text you in the morning.

**takashmeoutside:** ...alright.

**takashmeoutside:** tell lance i’m sorry.

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** night

**takashmeoutside:** good night

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**_mattata_ ** _ left  _ **_SNOW HOES_ **

**_takashmeoutside_ ** _ left  _ **_SNOW HOES_ **

**hunkerdunker:** ummm what?

**hunkerdunker:** did something happen last night?

**kogayne:** try 3 AM

**shayfromstatefarm:** ????????

**kogayne:** who wants to take this one

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t wanna i’m still angry

**allurable:** i’ll do it. 

**shayfromstatefarm:** uhh?

**allurable:** matt and shiro were here last night. we all drank, and we got tipsy, and shiro and i accidentally made some comments that poked at matt’s insecurities

**carrierpidgeon:** they more than poked they fucking stabbed him

**allurable:** matt laughed it off, and we made the wrong move by not talking to him about it and asking him to open up more

**allurable:** he went to bed justifiably hurt, and ended up leaving in the middle of the night

**allurable:** shiro woke up and freaked out and ended up in a group chat with lance and keith

**allurable:** things were said

**lanceylance:** shiro and i blew up on each other.

**allurable:** so far, matt hasn’t reached out to me or shiro

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah because he’s a fucking wreck

**hunkerdunker:** ...oh…

**shayfromstatefarm:** um

**allurable:** pidge, please let him know i’m sorry, from the bottom of my heart, and ask him if he’d be open to contact with me.

**carrierpidgeon:** he said thanks for the apology but no, he doesn’t wanna talk to anyone today

**allurable:** i understand. as soon as he’s ready, please have him text me.

**carrierpidgeon:** ...alright

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT

**kogayne:** okay so we’re gonna have to make u and shay swear to secrecy here

**shayfromstatefarm:** we don’t have many friends outside of this group chat, idk if you noticed

**kogayne:** just do it so i have proof

**shayfromstatefarm:** what happens in this chat stays in this chat

**hunkerdunker:** we won’t breathe a word

**kogayne:** alright so last night shiro texts me freaking out about matt, so i added him and lance to a group chat, bc i figured we could do some relationship counseling

**kogayne:** he confessed basically what allura did: they were drinking, they said some things matt took to heart, matt wouldn’t say anything about it, they went to bed

**kogayne:** they wake up, bam, matt is gone

**lanceylance:** i got into contact with matt. he was out in the cold in his car alone and wouldn’t tell me where he was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [goes to bed]  
> [wakes up]  
> [squints]  
> [whispering] _the fuck was i doing last night_
> 
> yep so there it is
> 
> no sunday chapter, but you all were clamoring for the scrapped version of the last chapter so here's a present
> 
> also in case u missed it, i posted a new short klance oneshot that takes place during [chapter 60](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12199533/chapters/29346441): [offstage, unscripted](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13297263)
> 
> it started as a warmup but it got longer than i intended so i posted it, it's not long tho it's like 1.7k words
> 
> k bye see y'all whenever the next chapter is


	84. STRESS UP THE WAZOO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're so stressed and the author is clearly projecting (it's no secret at this point lmfao)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I'M STRESSED HERE ARE SOME **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  1\. they're making jokes about dying again  
> 2\. they're all delirious (no one is sleeping hELP THEM)  
> 3\. mental breakdowns/stress breakdowns/anxiety attacks (induced by school)  
> 4\. talks of therapy/going to therapy/lack of professional help  
> 5\. stalking/abusive parental relationship
> 
> **seriously this is me word-vomiting the stresses of myself/my friends so if high-stress situations are triggering be careful reading this pls i love all of you**

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**kogayne:** i have regrets

**takashmeoutside:** did you finally accidentally shank yourself in your sleep

**kogayne:** ahahahahahahahaha what’s sleep

**kogayne:** i’ve been up for 26 hours and i want death

**lanceylance:** WHY WERE YOU UP ALL NIGHT

**kogayne:** crammed all my homework 

**lanceylance:** WE HAVE STUDY HALL

**kogayne:** everything is due before study

**lanceylance:** ...fUCK

**lanceylance:** F U C K

_ (4) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** calc squad this is for you 

**lanceylance:** did i tell you i fUCKING LOVE YOU

**lanceylance:** keith im actually gonna cry

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith is mvp for the day

**hunkerdunker:** why did none of you do it

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE

**hunkerdunker:** i thought you said you didn’t care if it didn’t get done

**lanceylance:** i was LYING ryner SCARES ME

**hunkerdunker:** ...that’s fair

**lanceylance:** anyway KEITH YOU’RE LITERALLY MY FAVORITE PERSON I’M BUYING YOU COFFEE AND PICKING YOU UP

**lanceylance:** ANYONE ELSE NEED CAFFEINE

**hunkerdunker:** hazelnut 

**shayfromstatefarm:** surprise me

**carrierpidgeon:** DEATH COFFEEEEEEEEEE

**hunkerdunker:** NO PIDGE NOT YOU TOO

**kogayne:** lance come get me before u go to dunkin 

**lanceylance:** uh duh i’m gonna need help carrying the coffees, there are 5 and trays only carry 4

**kogayne:** smh is that all i’m good for

**lanceylance:** yep, that and calc answers 

**kogayne:** unboyfriended blocked reported

**lanceylance:** gonna spam boyfriend requests until you add me back

**carrierpidgeon:** n o  p l e a s e  d o n ‘ t

**allurable:** what did i just open the group chat to

**takashmeoutside:** they broke up

**allurable:** oh cool

**kogayne:** [deletes request]

**lanceylance:** [spams harder]

**hunkerdunker:** does anyone know if lance got sleep

**carrierpidgeon:** he logged out of steam at 2 AM but his game started slipping at 1 so he probably slept

**lanceylance:** I LOGGED /IN/ AT 1 

**carrierpidgeon:** HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

**lanceylance:** GREMLIN

**mattata:** i saw that klance broke up and i had a heart attack

**kogayne:** all i am is a coffee carrier apparently

**lanceylance:** told him he’s a calc answer-giver too but apparently that’s not good enough smh

**mattata:** HEART ATTACK

**mattata:** CAN YOU TWO NOT 

**lanceylance:** no

**kogayne:** no

**lanceylance:** it’s our job to keep you people on your toes

**kogayne:** ^^^

**hunkerdunker:** ...wait, pidge, did you get sleep

**carrierpidgeon:** those 5 minutes i napped on my laptop were beautiful 

**shayfromstatefarm:** why do you all hate yourselves

**lanceylance:** heheheheh (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞  

**hunkerdunker:** dad pls stage an intervention

**shayfromstatefarm:** dad please

**mattata:** i have to be responsible??

**takashmeoutside:** alluraaaaaaaa

**allurable:** don’t look at me, these kids knew better than to ask me, own up takashi

**takashmeoutside:** keith, start getting more sleep

**mattata:** pidge, lance, start fUCKIN SLEEPING

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**lanceylance:** DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

**mattata:** I’M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT TO DO

**lanceylance:** FIGHT ME

**mattata:** LET’S GO

**lanceylance:** KEITH WE’RE MAKING A PIT STOP

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** WE’RE GONNA GO STRAIGHT TO DUNKIN I NEED CAFFEINE MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** BUT

**kogayne:** C A F F E I N E

**takashmeoutside:** maybe you should stay home

**kogayne:** I HAVE TO WIN

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH YOU WILL DIE

**kogayne:** I WILL FIGHT DEATH THANATOS CAN MEET ME IN THE PIT

**lanceylance:** WE’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS, YOU CAN’T TEMPT THANATOS LIKE THAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** should i be surprised that this isn’t the first time that conversation has come up for you two

**kogayne:** THE  P I T

**lanceylance:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** THE BIT

**carrierpidgeon:** CH

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** NO SLEEP

**kogayne:** I HATE MYSELF

**lanceylance:** BABE NO

**kogayne:** H A T E

**lanceylance:** L O V E

**takashmeoutside:** CAN YOU GUYS JUST GO TO SCHOOL

**kogayne:** F I G H T  M E

**takashmeoutside:** N O

**lanceylance:** KEITH I’M COMING I’LL EVEN LET YOU WEAR MY JACKET

**kogayne:** BUT IT’S COLD

**lanceylance:** SHHHH IT’S 30 DEGREES TODAY IT’S WARM ENOUGH

**lanceylance:** YOU ARE WEARING MY FUCKING JACKET

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**kogayne:** calc kids prep for a mental breakdown next period

**lanceylance:** NO

**hunkerdunker:** NOT THURSDAY PLEASE

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT DID RYNER DO

**mattata:** um

**kogayne:** there’s a packet due tomorrow, a packet due thursday, a worksheet due thursday, one of our online assignments due thursday, and a quiz on thursday

**lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

**hunkerdunker:** WE ALREADY HAVE A MIDTERM AND A TEST AND OTHER HOMEWORK DUE BY THEN

**allurable:** do none of your teachers talk

**lanceylance:** NOPE

**hunkerdunker:** NEVER

**carrierpidgeon:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT’S COMMUNICATION

**shayfromstatefarm:** DID ANYONE TELL HER WE ALREADY HAVE A LOT GOING ON THAT DAY

**kogayne:** “oh well”

**lanceylance:** i’m throwing myself out a window bye

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ve gotta stop the teachers before they fUCKING KILL US

**lanceylance:** I KNEW IT WAS SUSPICIOUS THAT RYNER DIDN’T POST SHIT WHEN WE HAD THE EXTRA DAY OFF

**hunkerdunker:** okay game plan: we all gang up on hira and make her move this test or so help me i will actually have a breakdown

**lanceylance:** TOO LATE ALREADY THERE

**kogayne:** IS HE ACTUALLY HAVING A BREAKDOWN

**shayfromstatefarm:** YEAH

**kogayne:** LANCE :(

**hunkerdunker:** he’s heading to the bathroom

**kogayne:** lance if u see this i’m coming in too

**mattata:** do ur teachers like, hate u 

**shayfromstatefarm:** well half of them are all pissy over things that are happening with the district

**carrierpidgeon:** some zarkon loyalists are coming out of the woodwork and questioning why he had to be terminated halfway through the year, why couldn’t we wait until second semester started, blah blah blah buLLSHIT

**hunkerdunker:** some are angry that it’s been so cold

**carrierpidgeon:** and then some are generally assholes!!

**allurable:** you poor children

**carrierpidgeon:** is that fucking sarcasm

**allurable:** nO I SWEAR

**takashmeoutside:** ur teachers are actually trying to kill u congrats

**mattata:** why now, wasn’t last week like, super easy

**carrierpidgeon:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**hunkerdunker:** even worse is this fucking midterm schedule, now we have tests on the same days as midterms instead of a separate week

**shayfromstatefarm:** and homework

**carrierpidgeon:** and quizzes

**shayfromstatefarm:** don’t forget about projects

**hunkerdunker:** hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

**takashmeoutside:** ...are you all okay

**mattata:** well lance is in the bathroom having a breakdown, keith and pidge didn’t sleep, hunk is clearly losing it...how u doin shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** internally crying externally holding it together bc nO ONE ELSE IS APPARENTLY

**allurable:** tag urself i’m shay

**mattata:** keith 

**takashmeoutside:** ...hunk

**shayfromstatefarm:** everything is due all at once happiness doesn’t exist hell is empty and all the devils have teaching degrees

**allurable:** i just spit my coffee

**shayfromstatefarm:** i finished my coffee by the end of first period

**carrierpidgeon:** same

**hunkerdunker:** i’m about to finish mine

**hunkerdunker:** lance’s has been gone since first i’m pretty sure

**mattata:** u all are really concerning actually

**takashmeoutside:** do more of u need to start seeing a therapist

**hunkerdunker:** if school continues this way then yeah probably

**takashmeoutside:** ...noted

**takashmeoutside:** anyone got an update on keith and lance

**hunkerdunker:** bell’s about to ring and he hasn’t come back

**hunkerdunker:** nvm there he is

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** go home maybe?

**lanceylance:** THEN I’LL HAVE EVEN MORE WORK TO DO

**lanceylance:** also shiro or keith or pidge...can u slide me that therapist’s contact info  l m a o

**takashmeoutside:** um yeah sure??

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

_ (1) link from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** THANKS

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** on a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should i be for lance

**kogayne:** it was bad

**kogayne:** he started laughing and crying at the same time and then so did i and it was just the two of us, giggly tired crying messes in the bathroom

**takashmeoutside:** /keith/

**kogayne:** lmfao lance and i are emailing my therapist asking for a joint session

**takashmeoutside:** please take a nap when u come home

**kogayne:** I WOULD BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO

**takashmeoutside:** N A P  you can’t do your mounds of homework if you haven’t had any rest

**kogayne:** fine but lance is coming over and he’s napping with me

**takashmeoutside:** that’s fine, as long as you two get rest

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** i texted my uncle we’ve all got the next few days off

**shayfromstatefarm:** older family members can take over this week

**lanceylance:** ANGEL

**hunkerdunker:** PRAISE

**kogayne:** i was gonna call out anyway so 

**carrierpidgeon:** PUT ME ON I’M NOT DYING, NOT LIKE THE REST OF YOU

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay

**kogayne:** let it be known thursday afternoon i’m collapsing and not getting up for 500 years

**lanceylance:** lemme in on that deal

**kogayne:** u and me

**kogayne:** us against the world

**lanceylance:** us against calc

**kogayne:** and physics

**shayfromstatefarm:** don’t forget english

**hunkerdunker:** throw psych in for good measure

**lanceylance:** why did i take so many ap classes

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re all asking ourselves that

**hunkerdunker:** at this point being blasted out into space and taking down an intergalactic empire sounds more appealing

**lanceylance:** THERE’S NO CALCULUS IN SPACE

**takashmeoutside:** well actually,

**lanceylance:** NOPE

**lanceylance:** CALLING IT NOW SPACE IS GOVERNED BY MAGIC AND QUESTIONABLE SCIENCE WITH NO EXPLANATION

**lanceylance:** GRAVITY? I DON’T KNOW HER

**hunkerdunker:** i propose thursday afternoon before u guys go and disappear from the world of the waking we all get in someone’s car and scream

**shayfromstatefarm:** CATHARTIC SCREAM

**kogayne:** honestly can we do it every day until thursday

**kogayne:** bc we all know it’s gonna get progressively worse

**hunkerdunker:** true

**lanceylance:** OKAY HERE’S THE PLAN

**lanceylance:** WE ALL CHOOSE A SECTION OF CALC WE THINK WE CAN HANDLE AND DO IT, AND THEN WE SWAP ANSWERS AND DOUBLE CHECK EACH OTHER

**hunkerdunker:** I’M ON BOARD

**kogayne:** THAT’S ACTUALLY GENIUS

**shayfromstatefarm:** COUNT ME IN

**kogayne:** did anyone ask if it was a group quiz…

**hunkerdunker:** FUCK

**shayfromstatefarm:** WE WERE TOO BUSY DYING

 

**_SCHOOL SQUAD_ **

**dinezor:** anyone with ryner for ap calc rip in pieces

**dinezor:** i salute u brave souls

**lotoreal:** yeah, what’s going on with that?

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**acxalutelynot:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** ACXA I FORGOT YOU’RE IN MY CLASS

**acxalutelynot:** spent most of the year so far suffering in silence

**lotoreal:** do your teachers not talk

**kogayne:** NOPE

**lanceylance:** [LOUD SHRIEKING]

**carrierpidgeon:** they’ve been like this all day

**carrierpidgeon:** also keith and i didn’t sleep and lance got maybe 4 hours

**sippinganartini:** how are you all still functioning

**hunkerdunker:** they’re not

**lanceylance:** we’re not!

**zethridofmyproblems:** ????

**zethridofmyproblems:** go to guidance??

**lanceylance:** n o p e

**lanceylance:** i don’t need a call to my mother telling her i’ve been losing my shit

**kogayne:** shiro already knows i’m a mess

**carrierpidgeon:** N O P E

**carrierpidgeon:** I WILL NOT BE WORSE THAN MY BROTHER

**sippinganartini:** did your brother end up in guidance a lot?

**carrierpidgeon:** try the front office for shenanigans

**carrierpidgeon:** the man, the myth, the memer: matthew holt

**hunkerdunker:** she’s hyping matt now someone stop her

**lotoreal:** ...well…

**lotoreal:** this is...interesting

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**acxalutelynot:** cathartic screaming, that’s a mood

**dinezor:** does anyone like...need a hug

**lanceylance:** i need 5000 years’ worth of sleep and to not have homework

**hunkerdunker:** i think they’re all good in the hug department

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i don’t know how they can write when they’re all over each other like that

**lanceylance:** the power of LOVE

**kogayne:** and stubbornness

**lanceylance:** also i’m cold

**kogayne:** so am i

**lanceylance:** he’s warm

**kogayne:** so is lance

**dinezor:** ...well if anyone needs anything, ask?   
****

**dinezor:** seriously i don’t know how you guys are like, alive

**lanceylance:** hahahahahahahahahahahaha

**dinezor:** uhhhh

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**_dinezor_ ** _ added  _ **_lotoreal_ ** _ to  _ **_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**dinezor:** is anyone else actually super concerned

**lotoreal:** i have my concerns

**acxalutelynot:** i mean, we can keep an eye out?

**zethridofmyproblems:** ^^^

**zethridofmyproblems:** at lunch they seemed...okay?

**zethridofmyproblems:** granted they all looked exhausted

**zethridofmyproblems:** and lance was slumped over the cafeteria table

**sippinganartini:** yeah that’s kind of unsettling

**sippinganartini:** speaking of concerning and unsettling,

**lotoreal:** i’m pretty sure the guest bedroom at acxa’s house is mine now

**acxalutelynot:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ his dad came by yesterday so we had to pretend we weren’t home

**lotoreal:** i may have been having a heart attack

**dinezor:** lotor :(

**lotoreal:** he probably knew we were there

**lotoreal:** he was quite angry

**lotoreal:** and screamed outside for a while about being abandoned by everyone

**dinezor:** can he fuckin chill, it’s his fault

**lotoreal:** apparently not.

**acxalutelynot:** we called the cops on him

**acxalutelynot:** they’re now aware of the situation and are getting into contact with whoever the hell’s working on the emancipation case

**lotoreal:** i could be free within the span of a week if things work out smoothly

**sippinganartini:** (read: if lotor’s dad doesn’t pull some bullshit)

**zethridofmyproblems:** i mean, half the school district hates him

**dinezor:** both students and staff

**zethridofmyproblems:** and anyone who’s ever met him

**lotoreal:** and me

**acxalutelynot:** yeah, he’s not exactly got the cleanest track record

**dinezor:** welp

**dinezor:** lotor, i’m sorry your situation fucking SUCKS, but i’m glad things are at least...working out…????

**lotoreal:** i suppose

**lotoreal:** i wouldn’t be here without your support

**dinezor:** aw

**zethridofmyproblems:** we’ve always got your back

**sippinganartini:** figuratively and sometimes literally

**acxalutelynot:** you said it yourself, we’re a family

**lotoreal:** and when did i say that

**acxalutelynot:** play rehearsal

**acxalutelynot:** i said we were dysfunctional

**acxalutelynot:** i was wrong

**acxalutelynot:** we’re a damn good family

**lotoreal:** i like this family better than any other one i’ve got

**dinezor:** aww u guys  <33333

**zethridofmyproblems:** AFTER-SCHOOL GROUP HUG

**dinezor:** hELL YEAH

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**kogayne:** GRATITUDE TIME LET’S GO LANCE AND I HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO

**kogayne:** GRATEFUL THAT SHIRO WOKE US UP BC WE MIGHT’VE ENDED UP SLEEPING TILL LIKE 10 PM AND THAT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN GOOD

**lanceylance:** GRATEFUL THAT KEITH’S GONNA HELP ME WITH THE CALC HOMEWORK

**takashmeoutside:** grateful i’m not in high school anymore, hot damn

**allurable:** grateful that you all are helping each other, we’ve raised you well

**mattata:** grateful that i /don’t/ have pidge shrieking to me about calculus

**takashmeoutside:** i’m sensing a theme here

**shayfromstatefarm:** grateful my uncle gave us the next few days off holy shit

**hunkerdunker:** grateful i got sleep last night bc i’m not suffering as badly as i could be

**carrierpidgeon:** grateful i’m not a senior yet and that lance got me coffee this morning

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ K BYE KEITH AND I ARE GONNA GO FRY OUR BRAINS

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** if u need help u can ask, i was good at calculus

**takashmeoutside:** do u guys need anything

**takashmeoutside:** blanket, water, snacks

**kogayne:** condoms

**takashmeoutside:** wHAT

**kogayne:** i thought u weren’t like a regular mom, i thought u were a cool mom

**takashmeoutside:** HEART ATTACK, KEITH

**kogayne:** ;))))))

**takashmeoutside:** ...LANCE

**kogayne:** HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH

**takashmeoutside:** why do i even try

**kogayne:** THANKS FOR THE OFFER, KEITH AND I ARE GOOD THO

**takashmeoutside:** here, while i have u here and not keith, did his therapist email u guys back

**kogayne:** yeah, we’ve got an appointment saturday

**takashmeoutside:** okay

**takashmeoutside:** how are u right now

**kogayne:** good i think?

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ gonna go now byeeeeeeeeee keith’s getting his phone back

**kogayne:** yeah he’s lying a little

**takashmeoutside:** am i speaking to keith now

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** i’m really concerned

**takashmeoutside:** oh?

**kogayne:** Bravado Lance is showing up again and he’s got it turned up to fuckin 13

**takashmeoutside:** the phrase is turned up to 11

**kogayne:** I KNOW

**kogayne:** he’s gonna have another breakdown and i can /feel it coming/ and tHERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO TO STOP IT

**takashmeoutside:** whenever it happens, you’ve gotta be ready to help him with it

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** just thought i’d tell u

**kogayne:** bc if it happens here i feel like u should know what’s going on in ur own house

**takashmeoutside:** noted

**takashmeoutside:** okay, go back to doing your piles of homework, good luck

**kogayne:** thanks

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** why are they like this

**allurable:** if they don’t get sleep tonight i will literally call them out of school tomorrow

**mattata:** i’m on Pidge Duty, it’s now my jOB to make sure she gets sleep tonight

**takashmeoutside:** keith’s not sleeping lance is cracking pidge isn’t sleeping hunk and shay are borderline losing it

**takashmeoutside:** i really don’t miss high school 

**mattata:** nnnnnope

**allurable:** thank god we’re free of THAT hell

**takashmeoutside:** yeah

**takashmeoutside:** you’d think the administration would notice that students are starting to crack under pressure

**mattata:** /starting/?

**takashmeoutside:** *have been cracking

**allurable:** the worst part is, they’re not even like, going to get help, they’re literally gluing each other back together

**mattata:** well remember when lance went to ryner for help and she was like “the fuck do you mean you don’t understand”?

**mattata:** NO ONE’S HELPING THEM

**takashmeoutside:** i’m debating whether or not to get into contact with thace and let him know what’s going on

**allurable:** if things get any worse, float the idea in the main chat and see what happens

**takashmeoutside:** sure

**mattata:** good

**mattata:** i’m gonna go for the night, good night  <3

**allurable:** night potter

**allurable:** night weasley

**takashmeoutside:** good night u two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Calculus Teacher Is Trying To Kill Us
> 
> oKAY SO THEY CHANGED THE MIDTERM SCHEDULE FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW (they keep changing it to try some bullshit that never works and then end up reverting to the old schedule for finals) and MIDTERMS ARE TAKING PLACE DURING THE SCHOOL DAY AND WE'RE JUST HAVING REGULAR SCHOOL so AT THE MOMENT on the day of my ap lit exam i also have a calc quiz, a physics test, multiple homework assignments for calc, and other things due before then
> 
> i have calc last period and the day was okay before then but i literally almost started crying right then and there why does she hate us
> 
> ALSO ON A BETTER NOTE  
> does anyone listen to starset. like, i found them over the summer and they're my favorite band now and yesterday i had transmissions on repeat and today i've got vessels on repeat like wow, i did not give these albums enough love. ALSO IT'S WEIRD because transmissions has two of my favorite songs but i like vessels as the better album overall??? help?? IF YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED TO STARSET BUT LIKE ROCK/ALTERNATIVE/ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLEASE GIVE THEM A CHANCE THEY'RE A MASH OF ALL THREE AND IT'S SO COOL AND THEIR SONGS ARE ALL SPACE-THEMED (half of my fanfics started bc i sent klance aus to my friend based on starset songs shhhh)
> 
> OKAY BYE I'VE GOT A LOT OF HOMEWORK TO DO


	85. THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> general shenanigans; pidge has a problem (ft. team forest fire)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my calc teacher gave us mORE WORK DUE THURSDAY but my physics teacher moved our test...to the day we have the second half of our ap lit midterm. we really can't win but we'll take what we can get
> 
> ONWARD

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** I Don’t Wanna Do This

**allurable:** Then Fuckin Stay Home

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO

**allurable:** did you at least sleep last night

**takashmeoutside:** he was here last night i made them both sleep once the clock hit midnight

**lanceylance:** the boyf was warm 

**mattata:** WHIPPED

**lanceylance:** HELL YEAH I AM

**carrierpidgeon:** how much homework did u knock out

**lanceylance:** a good chunk of it

**lanceylance:** it helps that keith can do calculus

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m a good boyfriend

**lanceylance:** the BEST boyfriend stop selling urself short

**shayfromstatefarm:** ACTUALLY hunk is the best boyfriend, so,

**lanceylance:** shit u right

**kogayne:** true

**kogayne:** better than all of us 2kforever

**hunkerdunker:** aw :)

**hunkerdunker:** glad this is what i open the group chat to, and not sleep-deprived screaming

**carrierpidgeon:** I HEARD SLEEP DEPRIVED-SCREAMING HERE I AM

**hunkerdunker:** please no

**mattata:** I THOUGHT YOU WENT TO BED ON TIME

**carrierpidgeon:** HAVE YOU MET ME

**mattata:** I WAS ON PIDGE DUTY

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M A SNEAKY CHILD

**mattata:** K A T I E

**carrierpidgeon:** YEAH DAS ME

**hunkerdunker:** can we go (1) day without this nonsense

**carrierpidgeon:** where’s the fun in that

**allurable:** why are all of you like this

**kogayne:** excuse me it’s just pidge today

**lanceylance:** wait till calc, there’s still a chance for more screaming today

**hunkerdunker:** if she assigns more work i sWEAR

**lanceylance:** u and me both buddy

**shayfromstatefarm:** he didn’t say anything

**lanceylance:** didn’t have to, we’re connected at the brain

**hunkerdunker:** 13 years of friendship will generally do that

**lanceylance:** (⌐■_■) 

**kogayne:** BOI /WE’RE/ THE SUNGLASSES TEAM

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(■_■)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** square up hunk

**hunkerdunker:** alright let’s go

**lanceylance:** wow

**lanceylance:** u know, in the past, i always dreamed of girls fighting over me

**lanceylance:** then i discovered i was bi

**lanceylance:** this is actually great

**kogayne:** this knight in dented armor will fight for the hand of his prince if he has to

**lanceylance:** :O :D

**hunkerdunker:** u guys are weird nvm u can have him

**kogayne:** mhm that’s what i thought

**lanceylance:** AND SO PRINCE LANCEYLANCE AND KEITH THE DENTED KNIGHT RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET IN THEIR SENTIENT ROBOT LION

**shayfromstatefarm:** wha

**shayfromstatefarm:** why do u still think about that dream

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE IT WAS FREAKIN WILD MAN i wrote it all down and sometimes i go back and look at it when i’m bored

**shayfromstatefarm:** u know what

**shayfromstatefarm:** whatever floats ur boat

**lanceylance:** um i don’t float in boats, i take submarines so i can explore the ocean

**allurable:** ?

**lanceylance:** born too late to explore the earth and too early to explore the galaxy, but who the fuck knows what’s in the ocean?! we’ve only explored like 5% of it i’m willing to bet atlantis is real and mermaids are real and there’s magic

**carrierpidgeon:** ur really optimistic aren’t u

**lanceylance:** AT THE MOMENT YEAH :D

**lanceylance:** TILL CALC COMES ALONG AND RUINS EVERYTHING, CAN’T WAIT TILL THEN

**kogayne:** >:(

**kogayne:** if u have another breakdown i’m signing us both out and taking u home

**lanceylance:** o shit ur 18 u can do that

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** O SHIT HUNK UR BIRTHDAY IS IN FOUR DAYS

**hunkerdunker:** YEP

**hunkerdunker:** pls don’t plan anything for me or get me anything i just want a chill birthday

**lanceylance:** BUT IT’S YOUR 18TH

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** NOT EVEN A SURPRISE PARTY

**hunkerdunker:** nah

**lanceylance:** LET ME LOVE YOU DAMMIT

**hunkerdunker:** no

**lanceylance:** H U N K

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK WE’RE GONNA THROW A PARTY NOW IT’S NOT A SURPRISE

**hunkerdunker:** hmmm fine, who’s making the cake

**kogayne:** SHIRO IS BANNED

**shayfromstatefarm:** uh me duh

**hunkerdunker:** okay good bc shay’s about the only one of you i /trust/ with this

**takashmeoutside:** yeah don’t let me near that cake i can’t cook for shit

**mattata:** he survived college on ramen noodles, me, and allura

**allurable:** and too much mcdonald’s

**mattata:** LMAO TRUE

**kogayne:** i survived those years on mrs. holt’s cooking

**kogayne:** anyway don’t worry hunk i won’t let them go overboard

**kogayne:** i feel u on the “no attention” thing

**hunkerdunker:** thanks dude

**kogayne:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** finger guns are my thing u heathen

**kogayne:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** stOP

**kogayne:** MAKE ME

**carrierpidgeon:** HEY CAN U GUYS BRING ME COFFEE

**kogayne:** why should we

**carrierpidgeon:** bc u love me

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

**carrierpidgeon:** Blease

**lanceylance:** never say Blease again and we have a deal

**carrierpidgeon:** U GOT IT I NEED THIS CAFFEINE

**mattata:** u guys need to stop enabling her smh

**kogayne:** nope

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** what’s going on

**kogayne:** do i need to beat someone up

**carrierpidgeon:** i found out,,, that sherrie likes girls

**kogayne:** SO U HAVE A CHANCE

**carrierpidgeon:** ...no

**carrierpidgeon:** i found out she likes girls

**carrierpidgeon:** bc she just asked out this other girl yesterday

**carrierpidgeon:** and she said yes

**carrierpidgeon:** ...sherrie has a girlfriend now and it’s not me.   
****

**kogayne:** :( i’m so sorry

**carrierpidgeon:** we were getting closer

**carrierpidgeon:** i thought i had a chance

**kogayne:** hey don’t act like you don’t still have a chance

**kogayne:** i pined after lance and he dated two other girls before he got to me

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah but u had a boyfriend then too

**kogayne:** listen, i genuinely thought i liked rolo

**carrierpidgeon:** but u still liked lance

**carrierpidgeon:** just

**carrierpidgeon:** how did u deal with that

**carrierpidgeon:** watching him date plax and then watching him date nyma

**kogayne:** are u sure it’s best to ask /me/

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m texting u aren’t i

**kogayne:** yeah but we know i don’t exactly have the best track record with coping mechanisms

**carrierpidgeon:** well u and lance got to where u are in one piece and everyone knows i’m more like u than him so start talking

**kogayne:** okay well let me preface this by saying (oh god i’m gonna quote antok u need to disown me after this) that not all hs relationships work out. lance and i are a fluke. i’ve genuinely never met anyone i want more than i want him. most relationships in hs aren’t like that.

**carrierpidgeon:** disowned

**kogayne:** thanks

**kogayne:** anyway, it’s not like i just shut down

**carrierpidgeon:** except that one day u came over and lied on the floor and started screaming

**kogayne:** freshman year was rough okay

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** i stayed friends with him

**kogayne:** even if i couldn’t date him i liked having him in my life

**carrierpidgeon:** okay angelica

**kogayne:** shut up if u ever tell lance i listened to satisfied nonstop sophomore year before we dated he will never let me hear the end of it

**carrierpidgeon:** oh don’t worry, that’s been in the blackmail folder a while, i’m just waiting for the right time to use it

**kogayne:** HOLT I SWEAR

**carrierpidgeon:** but anyway continue pls

**kogayne:** i stayed friends with him and i still maintained hobbies and stuff

**kogayne:** that’s...really all u can do

**kogayne:** don’t let ur lack of a relationship with someone u like ruin ur life

**kogayne:** stay friends with her

**kogayne:** u still could have a chance with her, i mean, look at lance and i now

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah but it was /easy/ for you guys

**kogayne:** easy how

**carrierpidgeon:** ur ex and lance’s ex are assholes

**carrierpidgeon:** sherrie’s girlfriend is in a couple of my classes and she’s sO NICE I CAN’T HATE HER

**kogayne:** hey, plax and lance dated and plax is a nice person

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah but,,,

**kogayne:** but what

**carrierpidgeon:** i

**carrierpidgeon:** I DON’T KNOW

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT!

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** listen, don’t be so torn up about it

**kogayne:** things will work out

**kogayne:** probably

**kogayne:** ur a sophomore

**kogayne:** u’ve got time

**carrierpidgeon:** u and lance got together sophomore year

**kogayne:** we got with rolo and nyma that year too and look where that ended

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT THEY WERE ASSHOLES

**kogayne:** JUST LET ME GIVE YOU ADVICE DAMMIT

**carrierpidgeon:** LET ME STRESS DAMMIT

**kogayne:** THIS IS WHY YOU TALK TO LANCE ABOUT THESE THINGS DAMMIT

**carrierpidgeon:** I’VE KNOWN YOU SINCE MY LITERAL BIRTH DAMMIT

**kogayne:** how weird is it that i’ve been part of your entire life but you haven’t been there for all of mine

**carrierpidgeon:** we are not doing this

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway, thanks

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna go do this lab now

**kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME DURING A LAB

**carrierpidgeon:** gotta goooo byeeeeeee

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**kogayne:** i probably shouldn’t say anything but be nice to pidge today

**lanceylance:** WHO HURT HER

**shayfromstatefarm:** what’s going on with pidge? 

**hunkerdunker:** did she have a panic attack???

**kogayne:** okay chill out

**kogayne:** she’s fine

**kogayne:** okay no she’s not fine but she /is/ fine

**kogayne:** i’m not making sense

**shayfromstatefarm:** nope

**hunkerdunker:** only a little

**kogayne:** if u tell her i told u she might kill me but look out for her okay

**kogayne:** sherrie has a girlfriend

**kogayne:** it’s not pidge

**kogayne:** pidge just found out today. they got together yesterday.

**lanceylance:** nooooo :(

**shayfromstatefarm:** aw :(((

**hunkerdunker:** poor pidge i’m so upset wtf

**hunkerdunker:** SHE WAS SO HAPPY

**kogayne:** just

**kogayne:** keep this on the dl

**kogayne:** don’t act sus, but like, don’t tease her about it or whatever

**kogayne:** situation normal just avoid the topic entirely

**hunkerdunker:** got it

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟ-ﾟ)☞ 

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**kogayne:** calc kids surrender your sanities now

**lanceylance:** R Y N E R

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT NOW

**kogayne:** we got another worksheet guess when it’s due

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** it’s one of the ones she’s probably gonna grade too

**kogayne:** also we worked on another packet in class

**lanceylance:** I AM GOING TO FAIL THIS FUCKING CLASS

**shayfromstatefarm:** isn’t your grade stable right now

**hunkerdunker:** i don’t think your grade can drop like, 30 points in a week

**lanceylance:** DON’T TEST ME

**kogayne:** just warning you ahead of time

**lanceylance:** thanks gonna go fling myself out a window now

**kogayne:** okay, /no/,

**lanceylance:** whyyyyyy did i take her claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssss

**takashmeoutside:** did anyone try telling her again that you already have a lot going on that day

**kogayne:** “what? it’s just another worksheet”

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** do u need to meet me in the bathroom again

**lanceylance:** NO HUNK’S GOT ME COVERED

**hunkerdunker:** :)

**hunkerdunker:** (the smiley face is crying on the inside)

**shayfromstatefarm:** that’s a big ol mood right there

 

**_SCHOOL SQUAD_ **

**acxalutelynot:** how’s everyone’s sanity today

**lanceylance:** what sanity

**lanceylance:** i don’t know her

**dinezor:** u poor souls

**zethridofmyproblems:** very glad i took honors calc bc we’re basically doing nothing

**lanceylance:** mUSt beN ICE 

**sippinganartini:** oh it is

**lotoreal:** paradise, truly

**lanceylance:** i am bEING ATTACKED

**kogayne:** I HEARD THE BOYFRIEND IN DANGER 

**kogayne:** oh

**dinezor:** hey ax how come u don’t rush to my defense like that

**acxalutelynot:** bc i like watching u kick ur problems’ asses urself

**acxalutelynot:** ;)

**dinezor:** SHE WINKED IN A GROUP CHAT I’M MAKING PROGRESS GUYS

**kogayne:** see i’m his knight, sooo

**dinezor:** ax and i are both princesses we just happen to know how to wield weapons

**lanceylance:** i know how to wield a weapon too but i just like watching keith do it

**carrierpidgeon:** and i’m a sorceress living out in a hut in the woods by myself bc u all disgust me

**zethridofmyproblems:** if this is a fantasy au we’re living in then i’m definitely a knight

**sippinganartini:** i’ll take the hermit sorceress role

**carrierpidgeon:** see, it has its perks

**hunkerdunker:** ...i’ll chill out and be a common baker

**shayfromstatefarm:** are we gonna pull a cinderella ii where i fall in love with you but we omit all the meddling relatives and just have our happily ever after

**hunkerdunker:** YEP

**shayfromstatefarm:** NICE

**lotoreal:** i’m a shapeshifter prince from a nearby kingdom, i turn into a dragon, i take over all of your kingdoms

**lanceylance:** ...wouldn’t we have to be dead for that to happen

**lotoreal:** or exiled, your call

**dinezor:** you’re chipper this morning

**lotoreal:** things on the emancipation case are looking optimistic

**lotoreal:** i feel supported

**lanceylance:** it’s called the power of Friendship

**lanceylance:** and also i have a plot twist to ur side of the story

**lotoreal:** oh?

**lanceylance:** you’ve been cursed. you’re just seeking help. the power of friendship prevails, you take control of your curse and turn it into an asset, everyone merges kingdoms and we all live happily ever after

**kogayne:** hunk how did u get his mood to turn around so fast

**hunkerdunker:** The Power Of Friendship

**kogayne:** seems legit

**lotoreal:** i enjoy this plot twist

**lotoreal:** i use my powers to incinerate our enemies

**dinezor:** and who would that be

**kogayne:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I HAVE A WHOLE LIST

**kogayne:** YOU WANT IT

**dinezor:** WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY ENEMIES, KEITH

**kogayne:** I FUCKED UP A LITTLE IN THE SOCIAL DEPARTMENT FRESHMAN YEAR

**lanceylance:** as it was if things went differently we’d probably have killed each other instead of gotten together

**kogayne:** if pidge and hunk and shay didn’t make us become friends i definitely would’ve shanked him at some point

**dinezor:** shanked?

**kogayne:** ...oh

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith carries like 3 knives at all times

**acxalutelynot:** isn’t that...not allowed?

**kogayne:** i haven’t been caught yet

**kogayne:** i don’t plan on getting caught

**sippinganartini:** one question

**sippinganartini:** why

**kogayne:** survival

**carrierpidgeon:** ALWAYS PREPARED

**kogayne:** in another life i could’ve been a boy scout

**lanceylance:** omfg i’m imagining you in the uniform

**shayfromstatefarm:** i used to be a girl scout ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** lance and i used to be cub scouts

_ (5) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE THOSE

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**carrierpidgeon:** omfg

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO CUTE

**lanceylance:** keith i swear

**kogayne:** :)

**lanceylance:** WHAT ARE YOU UP TO KOGANE

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

_ (5) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** HE’S ALWAYS BEEN CUTE IT’S NOT FAIR

**takashmeoutside:** I THOUGHT WHEN YOU GOT TOGETHER I WOULD BE DONE HEARING ABOUT HOW IT’S NOT FAIR THAT HE’S SO CUTE

**kogayne:** HE’S A PERFECT HUMAN WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** W H A T  T H E  F U C K

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**takashmeoutside:** YOU’RE DATING HIM

**takashmeoutside:** YOU WIN

**kogayne:** I DON’T KNOW HOW I WON THOUGH

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** DOES LANCE DO THIS TO ANYONE

**takashmeoutside:** BECAUSE I GET THESE MESSAGES FROM KEITH AT LEAST TWICE A WEEK

**hunkerdunker:** [slowly raises hand]

**hunkerdunker:** he doesn’t do it as often but he’s just as intense about it

**hunkerdunker:** but mostly he does it in person during school

**hunkerdunker:** thace knows a lot about how keith has pretty eyes now

**allurable:** they’re both so whipped for each other

**allurable:** honestly it’s adorable

**takashmeoutside:** IT’S NOT ADORABLE WHEN I GET BOMBARDED WITH TEXTS LIKE THIS /REGULARLY/

 

**_SCHOOL SQUAD_ **

**kogayne:** absolutely nothing ;)

**lanceylance:** BOI

**carrierpidgeon:** Disgusting™

**dinezor:** how many of you now have that saved to a blackmail folder

**carrierpidgeon:** the folder that keeps on giving

**lanceylance:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** >:)

**lanceylance:** GREMLIN

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** FUCKIN BLESS

**kogayne:** HIRA MOVED THE TEST IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY

**takashmeoutside:** so no more screaming when u guys get home

**lanceylance:** no i’m still gonna scream

**kogayne:** we still have a lot of calc to do but we don’t have to study for physics now

**lanceylance:** (keith acts like i was gonna study)

**kogayne:** WE WERE GONNA STUDY MCCLAIN

**hunkerdunker:** lance why do you do this to yourself

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ self-hatred my guy

**hunkerdunker:** /lance/

**kogayne:** babe nooo :(

**lanceylance:** it was u yesterday it’s mY TURN TODAY

**allurable:** i’d say go to therapy but u already scheduled an appointment 

**lanceylance:** ;D

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so are gratitudes happening

**hunkerdunker:** bc shay’s passed out

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so are they

**mattata:** pidge’s been out for like, three hours

**hunkerdunker:** cool, so makeups tomorrow

**allurable:** looks like it

**hunkerdunker:** well good night then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this went up at 4 AM bc cALCULUS 
> 
> also i didn't realize that many of you liked starset?? i thought i'd get like 3 people lmao   
> as for my favorite song i can't choose so i'll list my top 5 in no particular order  
> 1\. monster (this was my fuckin gateway song)  
> 2\. point of no return (regular and acoustic, i'm counting it as 1 song here for purposes :P)  
> 3\. it has begun  
> 4\. everglow (it's been growing on me a lot lately)  
> 5\. starlight OR last to fall OR my demons (don't make me fuckin choose this one fluctuates)
> 
> ANYWAY i'm gonna go now idk if there's gonna be a wednesday chapter, as it is it's 4 AM and i've gotta go to school and do my leftover calc and then i wanna do some oneshot stuff (i still have a crapton of requests to do yikies) and i wanna work on chapter 23 of SGD bc i have it outlined so love you all byeeeeeeeeeeee


	86. so much happens here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wednesday chapter that didn't happen: screaming over calc probably  
> thursday chapter: calc and prom stuff happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i came home from school at 3:30, after astronomy club, and napped for 6 straight hours
> 
> it's currenty 4:14 AM as i write this
> 
> help

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** welcome to the day from hell everyone!! i still have an entire worksheet left to do!!!

**hunkerdunker:** same

**kogayne:** we fell asleep

**shayfromstatefarm:** consider this my gift to everyone today

_ (2) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**hunkerdunker:** THANK YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND   
****

**lanceylance:** shay wins mvp for the day and it’s not even first period

**shayfromstatefarm:** thanks i try

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith after u take that quiz u gotta text answers asap

**kogayne:** hahahaha you’re assuming i’m doing it right

**kogayne:** but i’ll do my best

**lanceylance:** well if we all get different answers from you and /ours/ are consistent then we’ll know you fucked up and we’ll let you know

**shayfromstatefarm:** and if our answers are inconsistent then it’s every man for themselves

**hunkerdunker:** may the best answer win

**lanceylance:** maybe we’ll get lucky and she’ll give us another group quiz?

**kogayne:** BAHAHAHAHAHA

**hunkerdunker:** buddy don’t delude urself

**lanceylance:** yeah i know

**takashmeoutside:** why are u all like this so early

**lanceylance:** BEEN RIDING AN ANXIOUS HIGH ALL WEEK

**kogayne:** and caffeine

**allurable:** u all consume so much caffeine to survive,,, ur literally gonna die

**lanceylance:** HERE FOR A GOOD TIME NOT A LONG TIME

**kogayne:** HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU 

**lanceylance:** LET ME LIVE

**allurable:** but you just

**allurable:** never mind

**carrierpidgeon:** are u all doin ur cathartic scream after school

**hunkerdunker:** oh yes absolutely

**shayfromstatefarm:** we need it

**lanceylance:** i’ve been looking forward to it every day since we decided we were gonna do it

**mattata:** gO GET COUNSELING WTF

**lanceylance:** we’ve been oVER THIS, KEITH AND I ARE GOING ON SATURDAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** I DON’T NEED IT I JUST NEED MORE SLEEP I SWEAR

**mattata:** WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU

**hunkerdunker:** WE’RE STRESSED

**lanceylance:** OUT

**kogayne:** ...WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIIIIIIIIIIME

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU FUCKIN G EMO

**kogayne:** TO THE GOOD OLD DAAAAAAAAAAAAAYS

**carrierpidgeon:** CALCULUS BROKE KEITH KOGANE YOU’VE HEARD IT HERE FIRST GUYS GALS AND NON-BINARY PALS

**lanceylance:** WAIT SINCE WHEN ARE U A THOMAS SANDERS STAN

**carrierpidgeon:** ...SHIT

**lanceylance:** EGTNHREWFRT

**carrierpidgeon:** HE’S A GOOD PERSON LET ME BE

**mattata:** u know, the five of u high schoolers could be the sanders sides

**lanceylance:** :D

**shayfromstatefarm:** there are 4 sanders sides and 5 of us

**mattata:** ur regular thomas bc out of all of u you’re the most stable

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh good i’m not the only one who knows it

**takashmeoutside:** ...i already see where matt’s going with this

**kogayne:** ...MATT NO

**mattata:** hunk is patton

**kogayne:** MATT

**hunkerdunker:** um duh

**mattata:** pidge is logan

**carrierpidgeon:** i would sure fuckin hope so

**mattata:** even tho staying up till the wee hours of the morning and hunting for cryptids in the woods isn’t exactly the most logical thing a person can do with their life

**carrierpidgeon:** u act like u weren’t also a sleep-deprived high schooler

**mattata:** mOVING ON

**kogayne:** MATT I SWEAR

**mattata:** lanceisromanandkeithisvirgil

**lanceylance:** BETBETBETBETBETBET

**kogayne:** YOU ALL HAVE NO RESPECT

**lanceylance:** i’m calling keith hot topic for the rest of his life

**kogayne:** LISTEN HERE

**carrierpidgeon:** egtrhytesdhtrgetynrtef congrats emo boy

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** y’all the Straights are at it again

_ (2) links from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**allurable:** ...wtf

**allurable:** wTF

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know where to begin with this

**kogayne:** “micro-cheating” who names this shit

**lanceylance:** i am ANGRY half of this is legit cheating and half of this is “do not establish any meaningful relationship outside of your relationship with your s/o with any person ever”

**kogayne:** sorry lance i’m micro-cheating on you with this whole group chat

**hunkerdunker:** same, sorry shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh no i was about to tell you the same thing

**lanceylance:** keith we have to break up it’s too much

**carrierpidgeon:** can we just think abt how these articles are specifically written for hetero relationships too

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**carrierpidgeon:** not to erase anyone who’s not a strict homo but also like???

**lanceylance:** I KNOW

**allurable:** the one on the girlfriend one just says “booty shorts” like let me wear my fuckin booty shorts in peace, if someone gets distracted that’s their fault i JUST WANNA LOOK CUTE

**lanceylance:** like

**lanceylance:** okay so some of those are legit like don’t be sus about ur relationship with another person or act like ur not dating someone if u are

**lanceylance:** but also if i see a fuckin meme that reminds me of plax i’m gonna fuckin send it and be like “look at this meme it reminds me of u”

**lanceylance:** bc i know keith won’t fuckin shank me for it

**kogayne:** it’s called being secure in ur relationship and talking with ur partner, and also having healthy relationships outside of the one with ur s/o

**lanceylance:** WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE

**allurable:** remember kids if ur s/o tries to control who u can and can’t talk to, that’s abuse, dump their ass

**kogayne:** sorry lance u have to leave the group chat i’m the only one ur allowed to talk to ever

**lanceylance:** damn 

**lanceylance:** but in all honesty like

**lanceylance:** okay some of those are valid like if you’re gonna leave the house without ur wedding ring and flirt with other people like??? shitty. dump their ass

**lanceylance:** dON’T DUMP THEM FOR HAVING OTHER FRIENDS

**allurable:** u okay there bud

**lanceylance:** I GOT MYSELF HEATED I TAKE LOVE SERIOUSLY AND THESE ARTICLES ARE JUST

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** tl;dr: communicate with ur partner and set ur boundaries is it so freakin hard

**hunkerdunker:** well i think he’s also screaming bc we have calc in two periods

**kogayne:** i have it next period :’)

**hunkerdunker:** rip

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** i hope this delivers before ryner takes ur phones

**kogayne:** it’s not bad, it’s really not

**kogayne:** it’s not a group but it’s not so bad that u can’t do it

**kogayne:** you’ll all be fine

**kogayne:** also i memorized my answers and wrote them down

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i could kiss u rn

**lanceylance:** lunch, u n me

**hunkerdunker:** i was gonna say something nice but lance ruined it

**lanceylance:** fIGHT ME

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**lanceylance:** NOT AS BIG OF A DICK AS IT COULD’VE BEEN

**mattata:** ...can i have context

**mattata:** OH WAIT UR QUIZ

**lanceylance:** i was about to ask what u thought i meant but u know what i don’t wanna know

**mattata:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**hunkerdunker:** im glad it’s over, now i wish the day would be over so i could go home and rest

**shayfromstatefarm:** just three more periods just three more periods just three more periods

**lanceylance:** I SPEND THE REST OF THOSE THREE PERIODS WITH MY BABY SOOO

**hunkerdunker:** YO SAME

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS CHAT WHIPPED FOR SOMEONE

**lanceylance:** HOPE LESS

**lanceylance:** ROMANTICS

**lanceylance:** COME ON HOPE A LITTLE LEEEEEESS ROMANTICS

**mattata:** ...what

**allurable:** whomst

**lanceylance:** it’s a band called make out monday

**kogayne:** one of the band members sounds suspiciously like lance and i’m not entirely convinced he’s not leading a double life

**lanceylance:** lance-as kansas

**kogayne:** no

**carrierpidgeon:** that sucked

**hunkerdunker:** 0/10

**shayfromstatefarm:** rip

**lanceylance:** SORRY NONE OF THE STATES RHYME WITH MY NAME

**hunkerdunker:** a true tragedy

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** yo so i just heard some girl in the lunch line talking about prom dress shopping

**lanceylance:** which reminds me that we need to start prom planning

**lanceylance:** are we going as our own group? bigger group? pidge, do u want one of us to take u to prom??

**carrierpidgeon:** nah i’m all good, thanks tho

**carrierpidgeon:** not comf spending several hours around mostly seniors

**carrierpidgeon:** just gonna

**carrierpidgeon:** chill out on steam

**carrierpidgeon:** with friends

**lanceylance:** okay then do u mind if we move to a different chat so u don’t have to hear prom talk

**carrierpidgeon:** go right on ahead

**lanceylance:** cool

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** SO WHAT’S THE PLAN

**kogayne:** well how are we getting there

**hunkerdunker:** who are we going with

**hunkerdunker:** i mean not date-wise, that should be obvious

**lanceylance:** well are we gonna drive ourselves? are we getting a party bus?

**shayfromstatefarm:** rax got a party bus his senior year

**kogayne:** pretty sure matt and shiro did too

**kogayne:** but they’re expensive, we’d need a decent-sized group to go with

**shayfromstatefarm:** what if we did one for drama and crew seniors

**kogayne:** so who would that be

**kogayne:** there’s four of us

**hunkerdunker:** lotor’s squad is five

**kogayne:** so nine

**shayfromstatefarm:** if plax and flor go that’s 11

**lanceylance:** if they bring dates that aren’t each other that’s 13

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’re best friends

**lanceylance:** u never know, they might go as friends or something ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** anyway, if lotor brings a date, that brings us to 14 people

**kogayne:** current min: 11, current max: 14

**kogayne:** i still feel like we need a few more people, bc most of the smaller buses are like, what, 20 people max??

**kogayne:** if we want to not pay a billion dollars we need to get more people

**hunkerdunker:** well who else would go with us??

**lanceylance:** smh this is what happens when half of our friend group is introverted

**shayfromstatefarm:** i don’t see u and hunk making a billion other friends, extrovert boy

**lanceylance:** smh 

**lanceylance:** anyway i’ll look into the bus tonight and start getting quotes

**lanceylance:** in the meantime do we wanna make a group chat for prom

**hunkerdunker:** do it

 

 ** _lanceylance_** _added_ ** _kogayne_** _,_ ** _hunkerdunker_** _,_ ** _shayfromstatefarm_** _,_ ** _madplax_** _,_ ** _floronawiththecorona_** _,_ ** _dinezor_** _,_ ** _acxalutelynot_** _,_ ** _sippinganartini_** _,_ ** _zethridofmyproblems_** _,_ _and_ ** _lotoreal_** _to_ ** _PROM 2K18_**

**lanceylance:** hey everyone so i’ve got a question

**lanceylance:** hypothetically speaking

**madplax:** oh here we go

**lanceylance:** if we were to get together a party bus for prom for the drama and crew seniors, plus like, dates and a couple other friends, would you be on board

**lanceylance:** bc keith hunk shay and i were discussing and we thought it would be a good idea

**lanceylance:** also party buses are expensive so we need as many people as we can to minimize the cost

**madplax:** i’m down

**dinezor:** HELL YEAH

**acxalutelynot:** sure

**lotoreal:** wow i can’t believe i’m invited

**zethridofmyproblems:** i’m in

**sippinganartini:** sure

**floronawiththecorona:** count me in

**lanceylance:** okay cool

**lanceylance:** i’m assuming everyone in a relationship is bringing each other as a date, right

**kogayne:** mmm i dunno i was thinking about asking a girl

**lanceylance:** grtewfertge shut the fuck up keith

**kogayne:** ;)

**sippinganartini:** what’s with lance and ez always spamming random letters

**dinezor:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** sORRY IT’S HABIT

**lanceylance:** but okay yeah

**lanceylance:** plax, flor, lotion,

**lotoreal:** oh, so we /are/ at that stage of friendship

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ do u all plan on bringing dates

**madplax:** if someone asks then i’ll probably say yes, depending

**floronawiththecorona:** ^^^

**lotoreal:** i mean, i planned on going alone, i didn’t plan on asking anyone and i don’t see myself /getting/ asked

**lanceylance:** okay bc there’s 11 people in the chat and if plax and flor bring dates that’s 13

**lanceylance:** if y’all have any other friends who aren’t assholes who u think might wanna come, add them to the chat

**_madplax_ ** _ added  _ **_blumpyfumpy_ ** _ and  _ **_swirnupanddown_ ** _ to  _ **_PROM 2K18_ **

**madplax:** this is blumfump and swirn

**madplax:** say hi

**swirnupanddown:** don’t even ask

**swirnupanddown:** my parents wanted my name to be unique, just dON’T ASK

**blumpyfumpy:** name’s fulton, blumfump is a nickname

**madplax:** we call him blum sometimes

**madplax:** anyway they’re not assholes

**madplax:** u guys interested in a party bus with all of us for prom

**blumfump:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ why not

**swirnupandown:** yeah

**lanceylance:** cool, what’s the situation with dates

**swirnupanddown:** tba

**lanceylance:** cool, that at least brings our minimum to 13 and our max to 15 or 16

**lanceylance:** i think that’s good for now

 

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**takashmeoutside:** are gratitudes happening /today/

**mattata:** i’m up

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m up

**allurable:** i’m up

**takashmeoutside:** keith??? lance????? shay????? hunk???????

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re all asleep probably

**carrierpidgeon:** do u think maybe we should make gratitudes a once-a-week thing

**takashmeoutside:** keith was the one who started them, i’d talk to him

**takashmeoutside:** tomorrow, i guess, since he’s sleeping

**carrierpidgeon:** okay bet then i’m going to bed good night everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to sleep now before school, i'm so glad it's a half day or else i'd be dead
> 
> notes:  
> -that microcheating article pissed me off i had to put it in  
> \--a straight: a heterosexual-heteroromantic person  
> \--a Straight: "no homo bro!!!"/really weird about romance and communication?? why is this a thing/"I don't have anything against the LGBT community, _but_ ,"/etc
> 
> icymi: i posted a new oneshot: [almost taken (not now, not ever)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13339704): fic request for instagram user **kylienelson11** for **soft + klance** , set about 4 years after the pilot episode, it's just keith and lance. in the morning. in bed. being soft n shit. that's it.
> 
> byeee


	87. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> summary of the non-existent friday chapter: half-day at school; klance goes to target; ?????
> 
> summary of this chapter: the saturday chapter!! it's hunketh's birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao this is going up on the 14th (which, coincidentally, is my birthday, i am now the same age as hunk garrett, whoop)
> 
> sorry this is going up so late, i would've had a friday chapter _and_ had this up on time but,,, my mental health took a nosedive on thursday night and didn't recover till yesterday night,,,,, i was creatively out of commission for two days and it sUCKED but i'm back now
> 
> i don't have any major trigger warnings for this one, mostly just swearing??? oh well enjoy :P

**_SNOW HOES_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_SNOW HOES_ ** _ to  _ **_HUNK DAY_ **

**lanceylance:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST FRIEND BUDDY OF MINE

**lanceylance:** MY LIFE WOULD BE INCOMPLETE WITHOUT YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE RAY OF SUNSHINE, BETTER THAN ALL OF US FOREVER, A GORDON RAMSAY AMONG PAULA DEENS, WOODY TO MY BUZZ, MY EXTERNAL VOICE OF REASON, ONE OF MY FAVORITE HUMANS, I’M SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE HAPPY 18TH CONGRATS ON BEING A LEGAL ADULT

**shayfromstatefarm:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD, THE BEST COOK I KNOW, THE BEST ENGINEER AND HUGGER I KNOW, ALL-AROUND GREATEST HUMAN IN THE UNIVERSE, HAPPY 18TH

**shayfromstatefarm:** DAMMIT LANCE YOU BEAT ME TO IT

**lanceylance:** HAD THAT MESSAGE READY TO GO SINCE 11:30 SUCK IT SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO THANKS 

**hunkedunker:** lmfao thanks guys!!! i love the both of you very much!!!

**allurable:** AAAAA HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNK!! :D

**takashmeoutside:** happy birthday!

**mattata:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNK

**carrierpidgeon:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PARTNER IN NERD-DOM

**kogayne:** happy birthday!

**hunkerdunker:** :D :D :D :D thanks guys!!! why are all of us awake!!

**carrierpidgeon:** boi i don’t sleep we established that

**kogayne:** midnight on a friday? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** well now it’s saturday

**kogayne:** here’s a thought: let me live

**carrierpidgeon:** no fuck you

**kogayne:** t( -_- t )

**carrierpidgeon:** ┌∩┐(◕◡◉)┌∩┐

**lanceylance:** what the everloving fuck is that

**hunkerdunker:** an absolute monstrosity

 

**_HUNK’S BIRTHDAY TEAM_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** so is everyone set with what they need to do when they wake up

**carrierpidgeon:** U READY LANCE

**lanceylance:** ALWAYS READY, PIDGEOTTO

**lanceylance:** SHAY, YOUR DISTRACTORS ARE READY WHENEVER

**kogayne:** shiro and i have the list ready to go, we’ll leave bright and early in the morning

**mattata:** i will be over as soon as possible

**allurable:** ^^^^^ so will i

**shayfromstatefarm:** good

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance, pidge, i trust you to pick up the birthday boy and deliver him in one piece when the rest of us are ready

**lanceylance:** “drive so much like keith that hunk nearly has a heart attack in the passenger seat and get him feeling alive on his 18th” got it

**shayfromstatefarm:** so help me if you actually do that

**kogayne:** hey wAIT A MINUTE

**takashmeoutside:** you have some explaining to do

**kogayne:** LANCE STOP EXPOSING ME LIKE THIS

**lanceylance:** uhhh keith is definitely the safest driver ever and i have absolutely never screamed as we tore down an empty freeway

**takashmeoutside:** YOU WHAT

**kogayne:** um he just said we didn’t tIME TO GO TO BED GOOD NIGHT

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** u better be ready, after therapy we have sTUFF TO DO

**lanceylance:** I KNOW

**kogayne:** heading over now, u want coffee

**lanceylance:** yep yep yep let’s mOVE IT

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** what’s the plan

**kogayne:** after therapy i’m dropping lance back at his house, he’s going to pidge’s and then they’re going to hunk’s

**kogayne:** and then i hit target

**kogayne:** how’s your shift so far

**takashmeoutside:** sendak had the unfortunate luck of being put on with me and matt

**kogayne:** pffffft and you two are all hyped for the party later

**takashmeoutside:** exactly why sendak can’t stand being on shift with us

**takashmeoutside:** i mean he can’t stand us in general

**takashmeoutside:** but we hadn’t opened and he already threatened to fight matt

**takashmeoutside:** granted matt walked in on his second coffee of the day, shrieking

**kogayne:** why

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know

**kogayne:** and you’re dating him

**takashmeoutside:** [sigh] i know

**takashmeoutside:** but he’s a ray of sunshine and i love him so

**kogayne:** okay remember that

**takashmeoutside:** ...what are you up to

**kogayne:** nothing

**takashmeoutside:** you’re just compiling lists of things aren’t you

**kogayne:** coded by person and occasion

**takashmeoutside:** you’re spending too much time with pidge

**kogayne:** cryptkids never sleep

**kogayne:** anyway lance and i gotta go byee

**takashmeoutside:** i’m watching u kogane

**kogayne:** FIGHT ME SHIROGANE

 

**_HUNK DAY_ **

**lanceylance:** HUNK, PIDGE, I AM ON MY WAY TO COME GET YOU GUYS

**lanceylance:** IT’S ELEVEN IN THE MORNING YOU FUCKERS BETTER BE SHOWERED AND PRESENTABLE

**hunkerdunker:** HOW DID THERAPY GO

**lanceylance:** ABSOLUTELY FINE ARE YOU READY OR NOT

**hunkerdunker:** I’M ALL SET

**lanceylance:** PIDGEOTTO?

**carrierpidgeon:** [LOUD SHRIEKING]

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT’S WITH THE HOLTS AND SHRIEKING TODAY

**mattata:** [SHRIEKS HIGHER]

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYTHING YOU CAN SHRIEK I CAN SHRIEK LOUDER

**shayfromstatefarm:** i regret opening the group chat

**allurable:** mood

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY PIDGE ARE YOU READY WE HAVE TO GO GET HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** idk why u guys need to go wild with this, it’s not a surprise party

**lanceylance:** SHUT UP LET US LOVE YOU

**shayfromstatefarm:** IT’S YOUR FREAKIN BIRTHDAY

**carrierpidgeon:** LET US SPOIL YOU

**kogayne:** ALL THE BEST ON YOUR DAY OF BIRTH

**hunkerdunker:** o KAY THEN

**carrierpidgeon:** YES LANCE I’M READY

**lanceylance:** BET I’M COMING

 

**_HUNK DAY_ **

_ (3) videos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** this is what happens when lance challenges hunk to a rematch in ddr

**lanceylance:** H O W

**lanceylance:** I USED TO BE SO GOOD AT THIS GAME

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** fuck you

**hunkerdunker:** we gotta clear that with shay and keith first

**lanceylance:** :O you’re not calling me disgusting

**lanceylance:** been an adult for less than a day and already acting out what the fuck

**hunkerdunker:** i can do what i want now

**lanceylance:** appARENTLY

**hunkerdunker:** including kicking your ass at ddr

**lanceylance:** REMATCH REMATCH

**kogayne:** your ego is gonna get bruised harder 

**lanceylance:** R E M A T C H

**allurable:** rip lance

**hunkerdunker:** gonna rip his game to shreds

**lanceylance:** LET’S GO RIGHT NOW

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge i want more videos

**carrierpidgeon:** (⌐■_■) on it 

**kogayne:** good more videos for the locker

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT ARE YOU STOCKPILING THESE THINGS FOR

**kogayne:** NOTHIIIIIN

**lanceylance:** i’ve learned to stop questioning him

**lanceylance:** mostly

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** tell ur asshole coworker to get out of the birthday decoration aisle

**takashmeoutside:** why is sendak in the birthday decoration aisle

**kogayne:** i dunno, tell him to get out

**takashmeoutside:** you’re a customer, just walk around him

**kogayne:** but he’ll start shit

**kogayne:** he’ll be like “what are you doing here” and then he’ll remember we’re cousins and he’ll be like “what did takashit put you up to now”

**takashmeoutside:** does he actually call me takashit

**kogayne:** yeah i’ve heard him say it before

**kogayne:** i was here with lance the other day actually

**kogayne:** yknow to get hunk somethin for his birthday

**kogayne:** and i hear sendick’s voice and he’s like “yeah so takashit can eat my ass” or something like that and the coworker he was talking to was like “who”

**kogayne:** and he repeats it and they’re like “whO??” bc apparently everyone forgot your name is takashi

**takashmeoutside:** I WEAR A NAMETAG

**kogayne:** anyway he sighs and he goes “shito” and your other coworker was like “OH SHIRO”

**takashmeoutside:** if he was saying “yeah so takashit can eat my ass” that implies he was telling a story about me which means for the entire duration of the story one of my coworkers didn’t know who he was talking about

**takashmeoutside:** this /also/ means he’s got /two/ rude nicknames for me

**takashmeoutside:** do u know if he has any for matt

**kogayne:** no but to be fair takashi and shiro open up a lot more opportunities than matt

**kogayne:** except for shatt but then i’m pretty sure people would assume we’re talking about /you and matt/

**takashmeoutside:** why did none of us call it miro

**kogayne:** you either die a miro or live long enough to see yourself become a shatt

**kogayne:** we really shatt the bed on this one

**takashmeoutside:** you and lance are perfect for each other i swear

**kogayne:** damn right

**kogayne:** oh finally sendak’s GONE

**kogayne:** k bye i’ll stop bothering you now have a nice rest of the afternoon at work

 

**_HUNK DAY_ **

**mattata:** shiro and i are heading on over now

**shayfromstatefarm:** cool

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith and allura already did a lot of the decorating, all that’s left really is to organize other stuff

**shayfromstatefarm:** so lance, pidge, hunk, if you wanna come over in about half an hour

**lanceylance:** my ego is dead

**carrierpidgeon:** lance’s ego: pls stop hurting me

**carrierpidgeon:** lance, allowing hunk to beat his ego with a stick: what

**hunkerdunker:** we switched to mario kart per lance’s request and i beat both of them

**carrierpidgeon:** we would’ve played space defenders but i’d have owned both of their asses

**lanceylance:** they’re being meeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaan

**lanceylance:** that’s it once we’re at shay’s i’m challenging you fuckers to call of duty

**kogayne:** o shit

**carrierpidgeon:** BAHAHAHA YOU’RE ON

**hunkerdunker:** COUNT ME IN, THE HUNTER IS ABOUT TO BECOME THE HUNTED

**lanceylance:** PREPARE TO KISS MY ASS

 

**_HUNK DAY_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re ready

**shayfromstatefarm:** did anyone kill each other in the half hour since we last talked

**carrierpidgeon:** lance took my phone and put it on a high shelf

**hunkerdunker:** pidge kicked lance in the shins

**lanceylance:** then she chased me around the house, shrieking like a banshee

**takashmeoutside:** why do the holts shriek so much

**mattata:** survival

**hunkerdunker:** lance started shrieking higher

**mattata:** amazing

**allurable:** they could be siblings i swear

**hunkerdunker:** to some degree all of us are pidge’s older siblings

**hunkerdunker:** i’m the responsible older brother who does the cooking

**hunkerdunker:** keith is the one that beats up the people who are mean to her

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■) 

**hunkerdunker:** lance is the jokester who plays games with her

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**hunkerdunker:** shay’s the older sister who helps her with Feminine things

**shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** shiro is basically dad

**takashmeoutside:** naturally

**hunkerdunker:** matt’s the fun dad

**mattata:** AYYYYYYYYYYYY LMAO

**hunkerdunker:** allura’s her mom

**allurable:** excuse me i am vodka aunt

**mattata:** no ur not

**takashmeoutside:** wine mom

**allurable:** smh

**hunkerdunker:** anyway long story and speculation short, yes we’re ready, we’ll be over as soon as lance and pidge stop trying to murder each other and actually get into lance’s car

**lanceylance:** idk how i’m supposed to DRIVE with BRUISED SHINS

**carrierpidgeon:** SUCK IT UP

**lanceylance:** SUCK MY ASS

**carrierpidgeon:** ew no don’t you have a boyfriend for that

**kogayne:** i’m gonna pretend i didn’t read that

**hunkerdunker:** i think we all will

**hunkerdunker:** anyway we’ll probably be there in like 5 minutes

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** u got both presents right

**kogayne:** um obviously

**kogayne:** i’m prepared

**lanceylance:** yes of course u are

**lanceylance:** love u see u soon  <3

 

**_carrierpidgeon > mattata_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HEY ASSFACE DO U HAVE BOTH GIFTS

**mattata:** YEAH I DO U FUCKIN PEANUT

**carrierpidgeon:** GREAT THANKS DICKHEAD

**mattata:** NO PROBLEM TROLL

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > hunkerdunker_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** i did my best with ur cake and dinner but i don’t have hunk-level cooking skills

**hunkerdunker:** the fact that u tried is all that matters 

**hunkerdunker:** i, for one, am excited to taste whatever you’ve made

**hunkerdunker:** granted it’s not your grandmother’s soup

**hunkerdunker:** bc i love your grandma but her soup gives me nightmares

**shayfromstatefarm:** lmfao no it’s not her soup

**shayfromstatefarm:** don’t worry, i think you’ll like it 

**hunkerdunker:** i’m sure i will  <333

**hunkerdunker:** u think if we distract klance and pidge long enough, we get some time to ourselves?

**shayfromstatefarm:** ;) i like the way u think

**shayfromstatefarm:** i can’t wait to see you  <3

**hunkerdunker:** you too  <3

 

**_HUNK DAY_ **

**hunkerdunker:** awwwwww you gUYS THIS IS BETTER THAN I EXPECTED

**mattata:** did you doubt our party-planning skills

**hunkerdunker:** no, not exactly, just thought

**mattata:** jUST THOUGHT WHAT, HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND

**allurable:** wow, only 3 more babies in the group chat before you’re all adults

**lanceylance:** aw pidge is gonna be the last baby for a while

**carrierpidgeon:** I WILL COME AT YOUR SHINS AGAIN MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** BRING IT

**carrierpidgeon:** SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN

**kogayne:** [polishes knife] i’m sorry what

**shayfromstatefarm:** pls don’t get blood on the carpet, gram’s gonna make me clean it if that happens

**kogayne:** mmmmmm

**kogayne:** if someone controls her feet and stays away from my boyfriend’s shins we won’t have that problem

**carrierpidgeon:** IF LANCE KEPT HIS MOUTH SHUT

**lanceylance:** IF YOU WEREN’T A TINY GREMLIN

**carrierpidgeon:** TINY? I AM CHAOS, I AM DESTRUCTION,

**mattata:** you’re 5’2”

**carrierpidgeon:** 5’2” OF WHOOPASS

 

**_hunkerdunker > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**hunkerdunker:** qUICK, THEY’RE DISTRACTED

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** lmao do they expect us to not notice them slipping away

**lanceylance:** shhh let them go

**lanceylance:** let them be together

**kogayne:** ;) keep the group chat distracted for longer?

**lanceylance:** hell yeah

 

**_HUNK DAY_ **

**lanceylance:** SORRY DID I HEAR SOMETHING

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT ME

**lanceylance:** IS THERE SOMETHING BITING MY ANKLE

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT ME YOU FUCKING TITAN

**takashmeoutside:** maybe giving pidge 3 pieces of cake was a bad idea

**allurable:** ythink

**mattata:** YTHINK

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me matthew, you authorized it

**mattata:** I’D ALREADY HAD 2 DRINKS

**takashmeoutside:** smh

**allurable:** getting drunk at an 18 year old’s birthday party what kind of

**mattata:** I WAS NOT DRUNK

**mattata:** LANCE WE HAVE TO TEAM UP TO TAKE THESE FUCKERS DOWN

**lanceylance:** LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**takashmeoutside:** oh no

**allurable:** wELP

**carrierpidgeon:** BRING IT ON FUCKERS

 

**_HUNK DAY_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so anyway before it’s no longer my birthday i wanna say thank you to everyone for a great day

**hunkerdunker:** that was the most fun i’ve had in a long time

**lanceylance:** ALL THE BEST FOR MY BEST FRIEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** of course  <3333

**kogayne:** happy birthday man :)

**carrierpidgeon:** THE BEST ON HUNK DAY

**takashmeoutside:** a good way to ring in 18

**mattata:** ^^^^ 

**allurable:** we love u hunk!!

**hunkerdunker:** i love u guys too :D

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** if i sneak away with shay

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna act like i don’t notice a thing ;) go get her, u beautiful majestic lion man u

**hunkerdunker:** :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okie dokie
> 
> no sunday chapter
> 
> i might write a monday chapter but i got mORE CALC HOMEWORK ON FRIDAY, SHE GAVE US FOUR MORE PACKETS DUE TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY, WE MOVED THE PHYSICS TEST TO TUESDAY SPECIFICALLY TO AVOID THIS
> 
> anyway i'm also working on a oneshot for the requests and i'm tRYING TO WRITE CHAPTER 23 OF SGD BUT _WHAT ARE WORDS_
> 
> K BYEEE


	88. pls slow down ur gonna kill us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent monday chapter: ???? they're all dead basically, no one did anything except sleep
> 
> tuesday summary: pls slow down with the work we want our lives back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the birthday wishes <3
> 
> sorry this is so late i'll talk more in the end note
> 
> **trigger warning for a mentioned anxiety attack**

**_HUNK DAY_ **

**_hunkerdunker_ ** _ renamed  _ **_HUNK DAY_ ** _ to  _ **_suffering_ **

**hunkerdunker:** why do our teachers hate us so much

**lanceylance:** everybody failed in thace’s class, i haven’t met one person who passed

**shayfromstatefarm:** i mean i got a 70

**shayfromstatefarm:** that’s barely a C-

**kogayne:** if he doesn’t curve the grades i’m throwing hands

**lanceylance:** start coming down to my class and making out with me again, it’s much more effective

**kogayne:** u just want an excuse to kiss me

**lanceylance:** u /are/ very kissable, and very show-offable

**lanceylance:** like yES LOOK AT WHAT A CUTE BOY I’M KISSING

**carrierpidgeon:** do u guys have to do this before first period

**mattata:** I HEARD FAILURE I’M HERE

**takashmeoutside:** mATT NO

**allurable:** wait what happened

**lanceylance:** the multiple choice on thace’s midterm

**lanceylance:** everyone failed

**lanceylance:** except shay apparently

**shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** i mean, we haven’t taken the full exam, maybe he’s waiting to fix it

**hunkerdunker:** maybe he’s fucking with us

**kogayne:** by playing with our midterm grades?

**lanceylance:** when he knows he has students whose grades give them massive anxiety?

**shayfromstatefarm:** or who have parents who’ll see the F and flip out?

**hunkerdunker:** u know what, u right

**allurable:** do u all need hugs

**allurable:** or caffeine

**lanceylance:** keith and i already covered them

**kogayne:** we have a whole bunch of free drinks racked up, time to start using them

**lanceylance:** and then restock them for when the musical rolls around

**hunkerdunker:** speaking of musical do we have an update for when auditions are

**hunkerdunker:** weren’t they supposed to be this month

**lanceylance:** yeah they’re supposed to be

**lanceylance:** no one’s really heard anything

**hunkerdunker:** apparently

**allurable:** do u guys know what the musical is

**lanceylance:** unless some odd couple bs happens and we lose the rights at the last minute, we’re supposed to be doing the little mermaid

**allurable:** ur gonna be eric and plax is gonna be ariel i’m calling it

**kogayne:** ^^ that was my prediction

**allurable:** unless keith auditions, he might have a shot at eric

**lanceylance:** he /does/ look like eric, /and/ now we /all/ know he can sing

**kogayne:** mmmmmmmm nah

**kogayne:** that means kissing a girl, no thanks

**kogayne:** i only wanna kiss boys and tbh i only wanna kiss (1) boy

**mattata:** WHIPPED

**kogayne:** yes i am thanks for noticing

**allurable:** ur one to talk holt

**mattata:** i can relate, he is more easily identifiable

**allurable:** whatever lets u sleep at night

**mattata:** ANYWAY what else is happening in ur sad sad teenage lives

**lanceylance:** ryner gave us more calc on friday :’)

**kogayne:** (it’s a lot, half of which is due today, half tomorrow)

**shayfromstatefarm:** and we’re all gonna fail our physics test today sooo ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** oh dear

**lanceylance:** :)))))) gonna be a fun day

**lanceylance:** the cryptkid therapist is officially my therapist, she told me to try and eliminate stress where i could, tHERE’S NO WAY TO DO THAT

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** tag urself 

**hunkerdunker:** i’m the stressed-out screaming

**kogayne:** i’m the caffeine-fueled screaming

**takashmeoutside:** did anyone sleep last night

**hunkerdunker:** no

**kogayne:** no

**shayfromstatefarm:** hahahahahahahahaha you’re funny

**lanceylance:** sleep? i don’t know her

**carrierpidgeon:** not a wink!

**takashmeoutside:** I THOUGHT WE WENT OVER THIS LAST WEEK

**lanceylance:** OUR TEACHERS ARE TRYING TO KILL US

**kogayne:** i mean, antok pushed the projects back,

**lanceylance:** BUT RYNER AND THACE AND HIRA

**kogayne:** yeah they need to chill

**hunkerdunker:** RYNER ESPECIALLY

**allurable:** i’m tempted to start doing your homework and projects for you, you kids need to sLEEP

**lanceylance:** I WISH I COULD

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** so i started doing ryner’s homework that’s due /tomorrow/

**kogayne:** and i’ve discovered that she copied the same questions twice for like, 27 out of the 30 we have in the second packet

**kogayne:** we basically have two of the same packet

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE LYING

**kogayne:** NO I’M NOT GO LOOK

**shayfromstatefarm:** HOLY SHIT

**kogayne:** nobody in my class has told her so far and i’m not gonna shhhh keep this on the dl until after u guys have class

**hunkerdunker:** trust me our mouths are shut

**lanceylance:** and how /is/ my least favorite teacher

**kogayne:** -_- she hasn’t assigned any new work, that’s all i can say

**kogayne:** did u guys finish the essays for thace

**lanceylance:** uh duh why do u think we’re texting back

**kogayne:** boi

**lanceylance:** :P

**kogayne:** how do u guys think u did

**shayfromstatefarm:** i made historical and literary connections if i don’t get at least an A on this essay i’m going to fight

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^ it would also be nice if he could cURVE THE MULTIPLE CHOICE GRADES

_ (1) audio file from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** is that the world’s saddest violin

**lanceylance:** yES bc shay and hunk probably have better essays than i do and that multiple choice last week sUCKED i’m literally gonna fail thace’s class bc of this freaking midterm why did i take this class

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** wanna meet in the bathroom? we’ve got time

**lanceylance:** hhh no that’ll look sus, i can wait till lunch

**kogayne:** u sure?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** thanks tho

**kogayne:** listen, don’t beat urself up over this

**kogayne:** this isn’t gonna matter in 10 years

**lanceylance:** UM ACTUALLY

**kogayne:** here we go

**lanceylance:** IF I FAIL THIS CLASS, I DON’T GRADUATE, I DON’T GET INTO THE GARRISON, I GET HELD BACK, MY LIFE GETS RUINED FOREVER

**kogayne:** ur not gonna fail this class, we have a whole second half of the year left

**kogayne:** i will make /sure/ u don’t fail this class

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm

**kogayne:** are u having an anxiety attack

**lanceylance:** ...MAYBW??

**kogayne:** ur not gonna make it to lunch

**lanceylance:** YES I WILL

**kogayne:** seriously, leave class if u need to

**kogayne:** i’ll text u when i’m done with my essay

**kogayne:** i love you

**lanceylance:** i love u too 

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** does anyone understand

_ (2) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i can help with the first page

**lanceylance:** nnnnope i got nothin

**carrierpidgeon:** give me like 20 minutes to teach myself calculus and i’ve got u covered

**hunkerdunker:** mm aren’t u in class

**carrierpidgeon:** aren’t all of u in class

**carrierpidgeon:** the point of this entire group chat is for us to text in class without the adults™ yelling at us

**hunkerdunker:** welp

**hunkerdunker:** anyway u can’t seriously

_ (2) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** can’t what, hunk

**hunkerdunker:** what the fuck

**lanceylance:** I QUIT

**carrierpidgeon:** calm down i pulled those from google

**shayfromstatefarm:** lmfaooo

**lanceylance:** B O I

**carrierpidgeon:** ;D

**lanceylance:** >:(

**lanceylance:** I AM STRUGGLING ENOUGH

**lanceylance:** S T O P

**carrierpidgeon:** MAKE ME

**lanceylance:** I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND

**carrierpidgeon:** ...shit

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m sorry

**lanceylance:** hhhhh it’s fine i’m sorry i’m just super fuckign stressed right now

**carrierpidgeon:** :(

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i just read the group chat

**kogayne:** im done with thace’s essay

**kogayne:** please let me help you

**kogayne:** lance??

**lanceylance:** we’ve got 5 minutes to lunch i can hold out

**kogayne:** why do you do this

**lanceylance:** do what

**kogayne:** you’re so ready to help other people when they’re down but then won’t take the same help for yourself

**kogayne:** stop putting other people before your own needs

**kogayne:** let me be here

**lanceylance:** im sorry

**lanceylance:** im like .5 seconds away from losing it

**kogayne:** as soon as the bell rings i’m coming to u and we’re gonna go to the bathroom to talk about this, alright?

**lanceylance:** hhnnnn

**kogayne:** everyone’s changing classes, no one will notice, and if anyone says anything, they’ve got me to deal with

**kogayne:** you’ve had my back, let me have yours

**lanceylance:** gethrewfafergwf alright

**lanceylance:** sorry

**kogayne:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**kogayne:** no apologies

**kogayne:** see u soon

 

**_hunkerdunker > kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** everything okay with lance

**kogayne:** he was bottling all through last week

**kogayne:** it carried over to this week

**kogayne:** ryner refusing to slow down really isn’t helping

**hunkerdunker:** we’ve just gotta make it through next week

**hunkerdunker:** once we take that exam we’re smooth sailing for the rest of the year

**kogayne:** i told him that

**kogayne:** he’s calmed down for now

**kogayne:** he also said he’s staying the rest of the day bc he’s stubborn

**hunkerdunker:** of course he is

**kogayne:** i told him to take a mental health day tomorrow and now he’s trying to fight me

**hunkerdunker:** how the tables have turned

**kogayne:** are u taking his side

**hunkerdunker:** no just being scientific and making an observation

**hunkerdunker:** it’s only science if u write it down

**hunkerdunker:** which means baking, technically, is SCIENCE

**kogayne:** what

**hunkerdunker:** needed materials and a written set of instructions

**hunkerdunker:** some people write down notes as they go like “more flour to make it drier’ and stuff like that

**hunkerdunker:** therefore

**hunkerdunker:** SCIENCE

**kogayne:** ...i hate that you have a valid point

**hunkerdunker:** hate is a strong word

**kogayne:** i strongly dislike the fact that you have a valid point

**hunkerdunker:** u hate me cuz u aint me

**kogayne:** u JUST SAID HATE WAS A STRONG WORD

**hunkerdunker:** :P

**kogayne:** why are we friends

**hunkerdunker:** ur boyfriend

**kogayne:** mm right

**hunkerdunker:** i mean it’s not the worst decision we’ve made

**kogayne:** :P glad to have u buddy

**hunkerdunker:** right back atcha

 

**_suffering™_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i need the day to be over so i can go home and work on rover

**carrierpidgeon:** some kid in robotics pissed me off so now i need to kick his ass

**kogayne:** who

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ some fuckin dip 

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s a dudebro who whines about how nerds have it “so hard” and how it’s difficult to create a functionining robot

**carrierpidgeon:** like boi fuckin try me, my robot will kick ur robot’s ass

**carrierpidgeon:** except rover’s not gonna be a fighting robot

**carrierpidgeon:** working on rover just helps me to calm down

**kogayne:** okay but what are u gonna do to stick it to the kid

**carrierpidgeon:** make a robot and then have it fight his robot

**kogayne:** ATTACH KNIVES

**takashmeoutside:** i heard keith being a bad influence, i have arrived

**kogayne:** killjoy

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m definitely attaching knives to this robot

**carrierpidgeon:** knives and a fUCKIN SLEDGEHAMMER

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ve seen this kid’s prototypes his robots are wEAK

**mattata:** okay but what did he do to piss you off

**carrierpidgeon:** challenged my general knowledge of robotics

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s january this kid should know by now that i’m at the top of the class

**carrierpidgeon:** fuckin prick

**kogayne:** don’t just use the robot to kill his robot

**kogayne:** kill him

**takashmeoutside:** kEITH

**kogayne:** k i l l  h i m

**allurable:** what the fuck has ur workload done to u

**shayfromstatefarm:** no one knows how they did on the physics test

**hunkerdunker:** some questions we’re like HELL YEAH GREAT JOB and then others we’re like HELL NO BAD JOB

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** and then lance is just not having it today

**allurable:** you all need to go home and rest

**kogayne:** we know

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re TRYING

**hunkerdunker:** naps all day every day

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** lance needs me i’m spending the night at his place

**takashmeoutside:** how is he

**kogayne:** stress-crying

**kogayne:** i feel that

**takashmeoutside:** yikes

**takashmeoutside:** yeah, go be with him

**takashmeoutside:** both of u need to get some rest

**takashmeoutside:** hunk and shay too

**kogayne:** we know

**kogayne:** once next week is over we’re napping for 500 years

**takashmeoutside:** good

**takashmeoutside:** tell lance i hope he feels better

**kogayne:** i will

**kogayne:** night

**takashmeoutside:** good night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no wednesday or thursday chapter
> 
> these past few weeks have been fucking killing me, i'm physically and emotionally exhausted, so i'm stepping away from this fic for a while, maybe i'll do an upload or two a week until february bc my ass is getting kicked in every way right now
> 
> (of course, last time i said this, i uploaded 3 days in a row before chilling, but this time i'm serious)
> 
> i really need a break, i wanna focus on other fanfics, but Pressing Life Issues come before Eileen Can Do What She Wants also i have a killer headache i just wanna go to bed but before i go
> 
> icymi: new oneshot: **[covenant](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13389897)** : fic request for instagram user **agreekgeek** for prompt **introduction + platonic kidge**
> 
> yeaahhhh go read some cryptkids if u haven't already, it's set in the canon universe post-s04
> 
> okay bye love u guys


	89. filler chapter i wrote from 1-3 AM on a whim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance gets a drunk text from nyma; klance is in love, what else is new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 3 AM on a sunday (beatrice i told u half an hour ago i was going to bed i'm sORRY I LIED) but anyway i got a random idea at about 12:30 and i needed to write it
> 
> this is a filler chapter (bc y'all don't usually get a sunday chapter and i don't have the energy to continue atm with any of our current arcs even tho this might turn into another arc)
> 
> anyway i've been doing projects most of the day and i still have more to do later sooooo here goes
> 
> sorry if ur fave character is anyone who isn't keith, lance, nyma, or rolo, they're literally the only people who appear in this chapter

**_thatsnymaname > lanceylance_ **

**thatsnymaname:** ccomeplte ashit

**thatsnymaname:** heabrtokeen

**lanceylance:** what do you want

**thatsnymaname:** fuckk you

**thatsnymaname:** istill lovert youj

**lanceylance:** excuse me?

**lanceylance:** ...are you drunk??

**thatsnymaname:** assdfohle

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m losing my shit

**kogayne:** are you okay???

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** wHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

**kogayne:** what the fuck

**lanceylance:** [intense shrugging and wild italian gesticulating]

**kogayne:** you’re not even italian

**lanceylance:** pidge and matt have taught me well

**lanceylance:** anyway WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WHY DID SHE TEXT ME

**kogayne:** seems like drunk typing to me but then again, i don’t exactly get drunk

**kogayne:** and i’ve never had an incident where shiro drunk-texted

**kogayne:** or anyone for that matter

**lanceylance:** keith /why/ did she text /me of all people/

**lanceylance:** i cAN’T EVEN DECIPHER HALF OF HER TEXTS

**kogayne:** “complete ass-shit?” maybe? for the first one

**lanceylance:** and the second is “heartbroken”

**lanceylance:** the third is fuck you

**lanceylance:** and the last is asshole

**lanceylance:** okay so i can decipher more than half bUT THAT FOURTH ONE

**kogayne:** i can’t tell if it’s “i still love you” or “i still loved you”

**kogayne:** like, does she still love u right now or did she still love u even when she cussed you out to the point you nearly had an anxiety attack sophomore year

**lanceylance:** I DON’T KNOW AND I DON’T LIKE IT

**lanceylance:** WHAT IF IT’S BOTH

**lanceylance:** i don’t like her i don’t want her i want my mulletman :(

**kogayne:** yeah i know i’m not worried about that i have other concerns

**kogayne:** 1\. why is she drunk

**kogayne:** 2\. where is she drunk

**kogayne:** 3\. why is she texting you

**kogayne:** when’s the last time she texted you

**lanceylance:** SOPHOMORE YEAR BEFORE WE BROKE UP

**kogayne:** ohhhh this isn’t good, that means she probably had to go looking for your contact or start a new conversation, bc i doubt she’s so unpopular that you’re near the top of her recent conversations after two years

**lanceylance:** HWAT THEIFUCK

**lanceylance:** keeeeith i don’t like thiiiis

**kogayne:** block her number

**lanceylance:** i don’t block numbers

**kogayne:** why not

**lanceylance:** i think it’s petty

**lanceylance:** and if for some reason someone were to ever need help and by some fluke they contacted me i want to help them

**kogayne:** it’s for your mental health??????

**lanceylance:** mmmm i’m less bothered that she texted and more bothered by what she actually said

**kogayne:** right so if she texted you to harass you, completely sober,

**lanceylance:** we are not getting into my texting habits at 1 AM on a sunday

**lanceylance:** anyway what do i say

**lanceylance:** what if she needs help

**lanceylance:** like yeah she’s an awful person but also?????? she could be vulnerable

**kogayne:** i hate when you’re right

**lanceylance:** moral compass™

**kogayne:** yeah yeah

**kogayne:** i dunno, text her back?

**kogayne:** if u don’t wanna deal with her, i can text

**kogayne:** what’s her number

**lanceylance:** why don’t u have it

**kogayne:** i deleted her and rolo from my contacts right after the breakups

**lanceylance:** smh

_ (1) contact from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** so this is u saying u want me to text her

**lanceylance:** mhm

**kogayne:** i won’t be rude but can i be a little cold

**lanceylance:** i don’t control u ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** ;)

 

**_kogayne > thatsnymaname_ **

**kogayne:** why are you texting lance

**thatsnymaname:** whoo tf attoruu

**kogayne:** it’s keith.

**thatsnymaname:** fukv you

**kogayne:** what’s going on

**thatsnymaname:** sortotle lance

**kogayne:** that wasn’t even english

**thatsnymaname:** heor

**kogayne:** ????

**thatsnymaname:** boyifiend fstrealer

**kogayne:** excuse me

**thatsnymaname:** hoes 

**kogayne:** what

**thatsnymaname:** rlol is bet ret

**kogayne:** yeah glad to know you’re very happy together, why were you drunk-texting my boyfriend

**thatsnymaname:** becuase  ican

**kogayne:** are you safe right now?

**thatsnynaname:** of ocurse

**kogayne:** where are you

**thatsnymaname:** partyu 

**kogayne:** mmhmm

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** have a nice night, maybe stop texting my boyfriend

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (4) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** ???

**lanceylance:** did she call us hoes

**kogayne:** apparently

**lanceylance:** “boyfriend stealer” aww cute she’s acting like she /wasn’t/ using me to get rolo by the end of our relationship!

**lanceylance:** because apparently being eye candy and making people jealous is all i’m good for  >:(

**kogayne:** shhh you know that’s an incorrect statement

**kogayne:** anyway do we...do we text rolo?

**kogayne:** and at least see if he knows what’s up with nyma? or is at least aware that she’s drunk and at a party????

**kogayne:** i mean he doesn’t control her,

**kogayne:** but also i know if /you/ were drunk at a party and texting your ex i think i’d wanna know

**lanceylance:** hhhh i’d text him but leave out the part about me

**kogayne:** oh no duh i’m not about to have him come after you

**lanceylance:** do u even feel up to texting him

**lanceylance:** especially after,,,, what happened,,,,,,

**kogayne:** i’d rather do it than send u in

**lanceylance:** babe, i’m about to throw ur mental health argument back in ur face,

**kogayne:** nO UR NOT

**kogayne:** what’s his number

_ (1) contact from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m surprised you didn’t have his memorized

**kogayne:** lance i love u but i don’t even think i have /urs/ memorized

**kogayne:** mmmmmmm but i probably should memorize it in case of an emergency

**kogayne:** u know what i just thought of

**lanceylance:** what

**kogayne:** we’re both gonna be adults by college

**kogayne:** we can technically put each others as one of our emergency contacts

**kogayne:** granted you’re okay with me spilling my medical history to u at some point

**lanceylance:** we’re gonna be married someday, may as well

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** :( okay now to text jackass mcassholepants

 

**_kogayne > yolorolo_ **

**kogayne:** hi, it’s keith

**yolorolo:** what, finally crawling back to me?

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i’m gonna kill him next time i see him

**lanceylance:** murder is bad

**lanceylance:** (but also...i’ll get the shovel)

**kogayne:** i fucking love you

 

**_kogayne > yolorolo_ **

**kogayne:** i’d never dream of intruding on your relationship like that

**kogayne:** i’m just here to tell you to check in on nyma

**yolorolo:** what, did you do something?

**kogayne:** no??? what the fuck???

**kogayne:** it’s 1 AM on a fucking sunday i’m at home

**yolorolo:** so you’re still the loner kid who skips parties

**kogayne:** what, are you at that party with her?

**yolorolo:** ...go on…

**kogayne:** rumor going around that she’s been drunk-texting random people, she hasn’t contacted me but i thought i’d check in, like a good person

**kogayne:** good night.

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** he’s about to run into my knife 10 times

**lanceylance:** YOU COULD’VE LET ME DO IT

**kogayne:** no, he hates you and he’s staying faaaaaaar away from you

**lanceylance:** STOP TAKING PUNCHES FOR ME

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO KEEP YOU SAFE FROM HARM AND I WILL TAKE EVERY PUNCH FOR YOU

**kogayne:** I’D CATCH A GRENADE FOR YA

**lanceylance:** THROW MY HAND ON A BLADE FOR YA

**kogayne:** JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN FOR YA

**lanceylance:** I’D DO ANYTHING FOR YA

**kogayne:** I WOULD GO THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN

**lanceylance:** TAKE A BULLET STRAIGHT THROUGH MY BRAIN

**kogayne:** I WOULD DIE FOR YA BABY

**lanceylance:** AND YOU WOULD DO THE SAME

**kogayne:** immensely grateful u changed that lyric or else i would’ve had to yell at u

**lanceylance:** wow i can’t believe we’d die for each other

**lanceylance:** how about we live for each other instead

**kogayne:** mmm i like that better

**lanceylance:** we’ve gotta live so we can go to college and dorm together and then graduate together at the top of our class and get good jobs together and get married and get a house or an apartment or whatever we can afford in the economy we graduate into and so we can adopt kids together and raise them together and grow old together and cause trouble in the nursing homes

**kogayne:** u fucker stop trying to make me cry

**lanceylance:** no fuck u

**kogayne:** not till ur 18 we established this already

**lanceylance:** dntyfdgndgfnf

**kogayne:** in the meantime we do everything else that makes a relationship

**lanceylance:** mood

**lanceylance:** it’d be nice and all to see u in all ur sexy glory but i also wanna see u with fuckin bedhead in my pajama pants with morning breath and a cup of coffee

**lanceylance:** and see u talk about mothman while we walk around the woods

**lanceylance:** or see u get excited in hot topic and then pretend ur not that excited to find a shirt u like

**lanceylance:** or see u get all serious when u talk about ur problems 

**lanceylance:** or see that victory in ur face when u ace a test and see u pretending not to internally freak out when u fail mr. “it’s not the end of the world” bc u know u could’ve done better

**lanceylance:** or see u all dopey after u get ur wisdom teeth out (shiro told me u don’t have them out and i’m wAITING FOR THE DAY)

**lanceylance:** or get into jousts with u with lightsabers at target bc we’re basically 5

**lanceylance:** i want it all with u

**kogayne:** i’m fUCKING CRYING, LANCE

**lanceylance:** :)

**lanceylance:** there’s only one clear solution now

**kogayne:** ????

**lanceylance:** i have to come over and cuddle u till ur not sad anymore

**kogayne:** WHY ARE U LIKE THIS

**lanceylance:** what kind of boyfriend would i be if i wasn’t completely extra with everything, including showering u in affection

**kogayne:** I AM INADEQUATE

**lanceylance:** not ur not

**kogayne:** not ur not

**lanceylance:** shut up

**kogayne:** :P

**lanceylance:** ur just not good at verbally showing affection so u like to make up for it w physical stuff bc i know when i have a bad day i don’t go to u to be like “give me wisdom, knife boy” i go to u bc i know you’ll hold me and make sure everything is okay

**kogayne:** but u do that for me

**lanceylance:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**lanceylance:** trust me ur not inadequate i have the highest standards and u meet all of them

**kogayne:** “highest standards”

**lanceylance:** my family loves u

**lanceylance:** i love u

**lanceylance:** ur not a complete asshole to other people (except if they deserve it)

**lanceylance:** ur passionate

**lanceylance:** ur driven

**lanceylance:** ur protective instinct goes on a lot faster than mine does tbh

**lanceylance:** ur a good person, keith, and i’m lucky to call u mine

**kogayne:** ertnyrefwrbnbebgd u comin over or what i’m dYING OVER HERE

**lanceylance:** :) i’m cominnnnn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep there it is the chapter i wrote in 2 hours on a whim
> 
> (also don't be concerned abt it being 3 AM i slept for 15 hours yesterday)
> 
> anyway before i go i made another klance playlist last week but forgot to post it, the Bois have made a roadtrip playlist: [open road](https://open.spotify.com/user/nerdyspaceace/playlist/0dZ0dKa52QB1EyYwFTnpIw)
> 
> anyway bye idk when the next chapter is going up i have 3/4 ap midterms this week and college stuff and a yearbook spread due and aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


	90. today he is mcstressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance's stress levels are through the roof (also he's not sleeping)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did any of u see that 2-panel comic (okay more like 3 or 4) i posted to ig (aka shitty doodles while i did homework) where keith wasn't sleeping and lance had to take care of him
> 
> it's like that but reversed
> 
> (aka it's LANCE'S TURN FOR AUTHOR PROJECTION, SORRY BLUE BOY)
> 
>  **trigger warnings**  
>  -discussion about wanting to die (...are they joking, are they not, who knows)  
> -keith threatening to fight/stab people

**_suffering™_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_suffering™_ ** _ to  _ **_SOS_ **

**lanceylance:** I DESIRE IMMEDIATE DEATH

**kogayne:** lance no

**takashmeoutside:** why is it always death

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_SOS_ ** _ to  _ **_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** DID YOU NOT SLEEP AFTER I TOLD YOU TO SLEEP

**lanceylance:** I HAD TOO MUCH TO DO

**allurable:** why is this the first thing i wake up to

**lanceylance:** i’m so tired i wanna diiiiieeee

**kogayne:** no you don’t

**lanceylance:** WHYYYYYY DO MY TEACHERS HATE MEEEEEEEEEE

**carrierpidgeon:** why are you like this

**lanceylance:** SUFFERING

**hunkerdunker:** buddy,

**lanceylance:** S U F F E R I N G

**lanceylance:** i’v e alreayd had a cup fo coffee at two

**lanceylance:** i’m on my way to dunkin now iwth a full thermmos 

**kogayne:** LANCE

**shayfromstatefarm:** yikies

**shayfromstatefarm:** you maybe wanna reevaluate that decision

**kogayne:** lance when you get to my house i’m getting in the driver’s seat you are not sitting behind that wheel

**lanceylance:** LET ME LIVE

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** ...WAIT

**lanceylance:** I’M FREE

**kogayne:** NO

**hunkerdunker:** lance, why did you stay up all night

**lanceylance:** PROJECTS

**lanceylance:** SO MANY PROJECTS I’M STILL IN HELL

**kogayne:** L A N C E

**lanceylance:** DID YOU ALL FINISH YOUR PROJECTS

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**kogayne:** yes

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** yes i definitely finished those projects i definitely had

**lanceylance:** fight me

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re more sleep-deprived than i am i’ll kick ur noodly ass

**kogayne:** please don’t fight him 

**lanceylance:** LET ME AT HER   
****

**kogayne:** no,

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance why didn’t you finish your project

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE I HAD OTHER PROJECTS

**lanceylance:** I AM SO SLEEP-DEPRIVED

**kogayne:** babe :(

**mattata:** wait a minute he said he’s on his way to dunkin

**mattata:** and he’s talking in the group chat

**lanceylance:** i haven’t left my house yet

**mattata:** but you said

**lanceylance:** LET ME LIVE

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**kogayne:** you know what, stay where you are, i’m coming to get you

**lanceylance:** nO

**kogayne:** too late i’m getting in my car deal with it

**lanceylance:** SHIRO STOP HIM

**takashmeoutside:** nah

**takashmeoutside:** let him be responsible

**kogayne:** see lance this is what happens when u don’t sleep, i have to be the responsible nice one

**lanceylance:** what does that mean i’m the asshole

**kogayne:** no just the reckless one

**kogayne:** ...dID YOU JUST INSINUATE I’M AN ASSHOLE

**lanceylance:** ...no

**kogayne:** L A N C E

**lanceylance:** I JUST SAID NO

**kogayne:** u sleep-deprived little shit

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** this is why u need to sleep

**allurable:** ^^^^^^^

**lanceylance:** i just

**lanceylance:** have to get through this week

**hunkerdunker:** dude REST

**lanceylance:** HHHHNNNNNNN

**takashmeoutside:** keith just left he’ll be over soon @ lance

**lanceylance:** u dirty traitor

**takashmeoutside:** smh think what u want

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so ur not mad when u get here

**lanceylance:** i didn’t mean to insinuate ur an asshole

**lanceylance:** im sorryyyyyyyyyyyy

**lanceylance:** ur not an asshole

**lanceylance:** i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

**lanceylance:** ur my favorite personnnnnnn

**lanceylance:** and ur a good personnnnnnnn

**lanceylance:** im really sorryyyyyyyyyyy

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** he’s gonna have a mental breakdown today i can feel it

**takashmeoutside:** were u mad

**kogayne:** no and i told him that

**kogayne:** hes hyper now, he’s gonna crash later

**kogayne:** he worries me

**kogayne:** he hasn’t properly conditioned himself to stay up all night

**takashmeoutside:** unlike yourself?

**kogayne:** yes unlike myself, i can stay up with relative ease

**kogayne:** despite what he claims, lance cannot

**takashmeoutside:** then keep an eye on him

**kogayne:** um duh?? what kind of boyfriend do you take me for

**takashmeoutside:** i know you will i’m just reminding you

**kogayne:** don’t need to be reminded when Bravado Lance won’t stop talking

**kogayne:** you know he hasn’t slept when he keeps going on like this

**takashmeoutside:** whatever u say

**takashmeoutside:** just make sure he doesn’t pass out in the middle of the hallway

**kogayne:** tbh there’s more than just that to worry about

**takashmeoutside:** ????

**kogayne:** nyma drunk-texted him sunday morning and she might...still like him…???? we don’t know if she said “i still love you” or “i still loved you”

**takashmeoutside:** fucking /what/

**kogayne:** yeah i know that was our reaction too

**kogayne:** so i text nyma and, first of all, even drunk, she knew enough to try and tell me off

**takashmeoutside:** am i supposed to find that surprising

**kogayne:** i guess not

**kogayne:** so then i text ROLO

**takashmeoutside:** didn’t you block his number

**kogayne:** there was this whole thing with lance and being a moral compass or whatever but i didn’t want him going near lance so i did it

**takashmeoutside:** and

**kogayne:** smh lemme just

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** ew

**takashmeoutside:** idk why i ever let u date him in the first place i should’ve gone full dad mode and shut that shit down

**kogayne:** u wanted me to make friends and have a normal life remember

**takashmeoutside:** “normal life” ur life is not normal

**kogayne:** well we didn’t know it would turn out this way two years ago

**kogayne:** but yeah anyway i’m hoping that they don’t try anything or else i have to kill them

**takashmeoutside:** if the office catches this conversation

**kogayne:** I HAVE THREE KNIVES AND IM READY TO FIGHT

**takashmeoutside:** smh go pay attention in class

**kogayne:** fine

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** is jitteriness normal 

**hunkerdunker:** how much coffee have u had

**lanceylance:** if the day starts at midnight i’m on cup 3 of the day

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOURE GONNA DIE IT’S NOT EVEN 9 AM

**lanceylance:** HERE FOR A GOOD TIME NOT A LONG TIME

**hunkerdunker:** but i thought you were suffering right now 

**lanceylance:** shit u have a point

**lanceylance:** okay if i go to lunch then i can die

**hunkerdunker:** NO

**kogayne:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** what the fuck

**kogayne:** pls tell me u ran out of coffee

**lanceylance:** still got half a cup left!

**kogayne:** fuck

**hunkerdunker:** sTOP DRINKING IT

**lanceylance:** if i stop drinking it i’ll end up falling asleep in the middle of class and i don’t need that we have midterms tomorrow i need to study so i can pass and go to college

**kogayne:** boi not this again

**kogayne:** UR GONNA GET INTO THE GARRISON THEY’D HAVE TO BE IGNORANT TO NOT ACCEPT U

**kogayne:** if u don’t get into the garrison i’ll punch the dean of admissions in the face myself

**lanceylance:** nuuuuu

**takashmeoutside:** why does this feel like a bad sitcom

**mattata:** why do u watch enough bad sitcoms to know that

**takashmeoutside:** that’s all that’s on prime time television

**mattata:** damn

**carrierpidgeon:** so the fact that u sit around watching too much prime time tv,,,,

**takashmeoutside:** let me live

**lanceylance:** OH HOW THE TURNTABLES

**takashmeoutside:** LISTEN HERE

**lanceylance:** F I G H T  M E

**kogayne:** okay, no,

**allurable:** watching keith be the responsible one between himself, lance, and shiro is jarring

**kogayne:** u see what u people make me do

**lanceylance:** SQUARE UP SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** ALRIGHT

**kogayne:** my reputation is in tatters

**carrierpidgeon:** u never had a cool reputation to begin with

**kogayne:** what the fuck, pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** [THROWS CALCULUS]

**shayfromstatefarm:** can everyone maybe chill

**hunkerdunker:** can i get a waffle

**lanceylance:** [DEFLECTS WITH ALGEBRA]

**hunkerdunker:** can i PLEASE get a WAFFLE

**allurable:** this is the time where i put my phone down and not pay attention to this hot mess

**allurable:** lemme know when everyone’s calm

**kogayne:** nnnng u and me both

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M HAVING A CRISIS

**kogayne:** did u discover ur attracted romantically to boys too

**carrierpidgeon:** ew fuck no

**carrierpidgeon:** but it does involve a boy

**kogayne:** who am i killing 

**carrierpidgeon:** a boy in my precalc class

**carrierpidgeon:** he discovered my crush on sherrie i don’t know HOW since i never talked about it but he’s threatening to tell her

**kogayne:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** I KNOW

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s like “i’ll keep quiet if u do my homework” like boi i don’t have time to do ur fuckin homework do it urself ur in honors u can do it

**kogayne:** kill him

**carrierpidgeon:** i wANT TO

**carrierpidgeon:** but does he also not know i have like 5 scary older brothers and 2 scary older sisters, and 4 of them are in this building at all times

**kogayne:** what’s he look like

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** ugh i’ve seen him around school

**carrierpidgeon:** AND HE’S AN ASSHOLE

**kogayne:** YEAH I KNOW

**kogayne:** do u want me to find him and tell him to mind his business

**carrierpidgeon:** hhh not yet

**carrierpidgeon:** i feel like if u do that he’ll get mad and retaliate by telling sherrie

**carrierpidgeon:** and i don’t need that stress in my life

**kogayne:** so what are u gonna do

**carrierpidgeon:** his homework

**kogayne:** but

**kogayne:** u just

**carrierpidgeon:** fucking moron never specified that i had to do it well

**carrierpidgeon:** here comes the F train, choo choo jackass

**kogayne:** nice job

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks i try

**carrierpidgeon:** any news on ur boyf

**kogayne:** nah

**kogayne:** i feel like hunk or shay would’ve said something if anything important happened ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** okay cool

**carrierpidgeon:** if something happens lemme know so i can send him shitty memes

**kogayne:** u got it

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i have a lengthy shitlist today and it’s not even lunch

**takashmeoutside:** this is the second time you’re texting before 11, what’s going on

**kogayne:** well now pidge has an issue i need to take care of but also i was wAITING FOR ROLO OR NYMA TO SAY SOMETHING AND NYMA FINALLY APPROACHED ME IN THE HALL BEFORE I HAD THACE

**takashmeoutside:** and

**kogayne:** rolo broke up with her

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL THE GROUP CHAT

**kogayne:** because aside from lance i’m pretty sure you’re the only person who knows about this situation

**kogayne:** and

**kogayne:** 1) i feel like she’s out to get me now, bc i told rolo to check on her

**kogayne:** 2) i still don’t know if she still likes lance, so now that she’s /single/

**takashmeoutside:** ahhhh u feel like she’s gonna move in on lance

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** i’m not worried like “oh no lance is gonna dump me and get back with her” i’m more worried like “she’s psychologically manipulated him and bullied him before so if she gets near him i will actually fight her”

**takashmeoutside:** have u warned him

**kogayne:** i’m waiting till lunch or till i get a text saying he’s having a mental breakdown and i need to meet him in the bathroom bc i wanna tell him in person

**takashmeoutside:** that’s...concerning

**kogayne:** it’s a possibility that can’t be overlooked

**takashmeoutside:** okay then

**kogayne:** i just texted u bc i needed to tell someone before i like, exploded

**takashmeoutside:** okay then, tell thace i say hi

**kogayne:** will do

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** lunch this entire week is going to be subpar why does the school hate us

**lanceylance:** BEEN ASKING MYSELF THAT QUESTION EVERY DAY

**mattata:** is he still on a caffeine high

**hunkerdunker:** i think so

**kogayne:** yep

**allurable:** anything interesting happen so far

**hunkerdunker:** i watched two freshmen try to beat each other up in the middle of a hallway and another senior shouted “MOVE YOU SHORT FUCKS” and shoved them both

**kogayne:** WHO

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ they had to be a senior tho

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s not wrong

**allurable:** iconic, that should’ve been their yearbook quote

**kogayne:** too bad we had to submit those months ago

**lanceylance:** i still don’t like the one i turned in but i change my mind about it every day

**allurable:** nobody ever likes theirs

**mattata:** my biggest regret is that vine wasn’t really a thing when we were in hs or you all know what mine would’ve been

**takashmeoutside:** barbeque sauce on my tiddies?

**kogayne:** roommates?

**carrierpidgeon:** efgrgbfdfwtrerr

**mattata:** DON’T FUCK WITH ME, I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD /AND/ ANIME ON MY SIDE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** u probably would’ve only been allowed that middle part

**mattata:** cutting the first part i can understand but what do you mean they’d make me cut the screaming

**allurable:** bc it doesn’t look good in print

**carrierpidgeon:** she’s not wrong

**carrierpidgeon:** wow there are a lot of not-wrong people in this chat today

**carrierpidgeon:** unless you’re lance and you think 3 cups of coffee can replace sleep

**takashmeoutside:** ...wait a minute

**takashmeoutside:** didn’t that used to be /keith’s/ philosophy

**allurable:** omfg

**lanceylance:** HE’S LITERALLY THE REASON I BEGAN CALLING IT SLEEP REPLACER™

**kogayne:** DO NOT TURN THIS AROUND ON ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** too late

**lanceylance:** THIS IS KEITH’S DOING

**kogayne:** I DID NOT DECIDE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT EXCUSE YOU

**lanceylance:** FIGHT ME

**kogayne:** HOW

**lanceylance:** uhhh

**carrierpidgeon:** EVEN IN A CAFFEINE HAZE I CAN’T FUCKIN BELIEVE

**allurable:** the power of True Love

**mattata:** why can’t things be solved with the power of True Friendship

**takashmeoutside:** i mean that’s how the carebears solved their problems, wasn’t it

**allurable:** ...group chat cancelled

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** it finally happened

**takashmeoutside:** are u in the office

**takashmeoutside:** did u finally stab someone

**kogayne:** wha

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** lance is losing it

**takashmeoutside:** oh

**kogayne:** he’s in guidance

**kogayne:** i’m probably gonna go to his house after school, don’t be surprised if i don’t come back home

**takashmeoutside:** alright just text me so i know ur alive

**kogayne:** yep

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** this is ur “keith is alive” text

**takashmeoutside:** okay good

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** unleash the memes

 

**_carrierpidgeon > lanceylance_ **

_ (23) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** start sleeping

**carrierpidgeon:** love ya

**lanceylance:** hhh thanks

**carrierpidgeon:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** do u ever remember our high school years

**mattata:** [war flashbacks.mp4]

**allurable:** sometimes i look at them and wonder how we survived

**mattata:** “survived” hahahahahahahaha

**mattata:** jk

**mattata:** but yeah seriously wtf 

**mattata:** were we like that

**takashmeoutside:** u never slept and then wondered why u got the flu in february

**allurable:** let’s place bets now who’s getting the February Flu

**takashmeoutside:** lance or keith

**mattata:** as much as i wanna say lance, it’s gonna be keith

**mattata:** i think lance has a stronger immune system

**allurable:** it’s keith

**takashmeoutside:** ...fuck

**mattata:** aND THEN I HAVE MY REVENGE FROM SENIOR YEAR

**mattata:** PAYBACK, GRANOLA BAR

**takashmeoutside:** wow i can’t believe i’m gonna have to fight keith in a few weeks

**allurable:** wouldn’t the smart thing to do...be not to fight him

**allurable:** just lock him in his room

**takashmeoutside:** he’d break the lock or escape through the window

**allurable:** i almost said “his room is on the second floor” and then i realized that’s never stopped him

**takashmeoutside:** MHM

**allurable:** welp,

**mattata:** rip kashi 1992-2018

**takashmeoutside:** if i go down i’m taking u with me

**allurable:** rip mathematics 1992-2018

**mattata:** :’) finally

**takashmeoutside:** nO

**allurable:** ALL OF U PEOPLE

**mattata:** eulogize me well

**allurable:** NO

**mattata:** wow rude

**allurable:** rthgdbrfrdbtf why are u like this

**mattata:** why are any of us like this

**mattata:** [x-files theme]

**takashmeoutside:** ...i’m going to bed

**mattata:** traitor

**takashmeoutside:** good niiiight

**mattata:** :P night nut butter bar

**allurable:** night, get more sleep than the Teens™

**takashmeoutside:** ohhh i plan on it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SO THIS WAS THE MONDAY CHAPTER
> 
> as of right now it looks like there _will_ be a tuesday chapter
> 
> my life is sO STRESSFUL, MY WORKLOAD IS GOING DOWN BUT I HAVE 3/4 AP MIDTERMS THIS WEEK AND I TOOK TWO TODAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and then YESTERDAY aka the INSPIRATION FOR THIS CHAPTER dON'T GET ME FUCKIN STARTED 
> 
> ANYWAY I'LL SEE Y'ALL WHEN THE TUESDAY CHAPTER GOES UP AND I'LL PUT MORE RELEVANT LIFE UPDATES THERE


	91. and now he is depressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what goes up must come down (or, lance has a depressive episode, ft. protective boyfriend keith kogane, and other group chat shenanigans)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM GUESS HOW MY TUESDAY WAS 
> 
> i love,,, depression,,,,,,, SO MUCH 
> 
> ANYWAY
> 
>  **trigger warnings**  
>  -a depressive episode  
> -jokes about eating tide pods  
> -mention of forgetting to eat

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** :(((((

**takashmeoutside:** it’s 6:30 in the morning why are u assuming i’m awake

**kogayne:** oh and look who answered his phone :P

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on

**kogayne:** can u ever just tell before anyone says anything that they’re about to enter a depressive episode or they’re just beginning one

**takashmeoutside:** i mean i live with u

**kogayne:** LOW BLOW

**takashmeoutside:** sorry but yes i know the feeling

**kogayne:** lance just woke up and i can already tell he’s out of it, bUT HIS STUBBORN BUTT WON’T SAY ANYTHING

**takashmeoutside:** now u see how we feel when u withdraw

**kogayne:** hhhhnnnnn i hate when ur right

**kogayne:** but no anyway he woke up and saw that it was pouring and went “oh. that’s a mood.” aND HE LOVES THE RAIN, I’M SO UPSET

**takashmeoutside:** how much did he sleep last night

**kogayne:** like four hours??? i couldn’t get him to stop doing work till like 1 but then he screwed around and showered and crashed at like, 2:30

**takashmeoutside:** yesterday he was having an abnormal high and now he’s coming off of it

**kogayne:** :((((((((((((

**kogayne:** i need to protect this boy with everything i have

**takashmeoutside:** u do that

**takashmeoutside:** get ready for school or whatever

**kogayne:** we have two midterms today and the first is first period we’re gonna die

**kogayne:** i mean antok is splitting it between today and thursday and it’s the same test on both days BUT

**takashmeoutside:** did you guys eat yet

**kogayne:** we’re gonna go to dunkin, what else is new

**takashmeoutside:** eat well, take your time, study whatever u need on wednesday

**kogayne:** yeah yeah i know

**takashmeoutside:** listen if something happens let me know

**kogayne:** will do

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** lance is out of it, if anyone calls him out or says something rude i will personally punch you in the face

**hunkerdunker:** did he crash yesterday

**kogayne:** yeah and today it’s like someone sucked his soul out

**kogayne:** he is dead there’s nO LIFE in his eyes

**kogayne:** okay we have to start our psych midterm but mark my words if someone hurts him i will hurt u about 20x worse

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**kogayne:** well i’m glad antok is giving us our exams back on thursday bc i could’ve done better

**kogayne:** time to look up the answer to the frq

**hunkerdunker:** when u find it u wanna slide it over here

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

**kogayne:** yeah sure thing

_ (5) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** that took no time at all 

**hunkerdunker:** THANK YOU

**takashmeoutside:** shouldn’t you not know ur essay prompt

**kogayne:** we shouldn’t have two days to do this test either but antok doesn’t give a fuck

**kogayne:** he’s also giving us 5 freebies

**kogayne:** the first 5 questions wrong don’t count

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO WAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** IS HE REALLY

**kogayne:** yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** BLESS

**mattata:** not surprised

**mattata:** easiest ap class i ever took

**mattata:** meanwhile, apush can choke

**shayfromstatefarm:** and not physics or calculus?? or chem???

**mattata:** APUSH. CAN. CHOKE.

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s a stem nerd what do u expect, he LIKED those classes

**mattata:** ap computer science tho, what a wonderful course

**kogayne:** why did u take so many aps

**mattata:** why did /you/

**kogayne:** fair point

**mattata:** but no i fuckin hated apush

**hunkerdunker:** in general, are there particular reasons,

**allurable:** :) i took it the next year and made nonstop apush jokes

**takashmeoutside:** i joined her

**mattata:** WORST AP GRADE, I SCORED BETTER IN MY ENGLISH CLASSES

**kogayne:** ??? what did you get on the exam

**mattata:** a 3

**kogayne:** that’s really not that bad, don’t most colleges give you credit for a 3

**mattata:** STILL DOESN’T MEAN IT DIDN’T SUCK

**mattata:** [shudder] so many dbqs

**carrierpidgeon:** sometimes i think about that comic where the tangerine in chief is a giant octopus spilling out of the white house

**carrierpidgeon:** u guys do realize that future apush students are gonna have to analyze that for a dbq, right

**kogayne:** ...holy shit

**hunkerdunker:** SHE’S RIGHT

**allurable:** rest in pieces

**shayfromstatefarm:** but anyway, matt, just be grateful u didn’t take it when hamilton was at its height

**hunkerdunker:** ...guilty

**kogayne:** guiltyx2

**shayfromstatefarm:** these heathens didn’t stop singing the soundtrack for like, four consecutive chapters

**kogayne:** was it really four??

**shayfromstatefarm:** could’ve been 2 or 3, i’m estimating

**shayfromstatefarm:** AND THEN, WHEN WE GOT TO LABOR STRIKES,

**shayfromstatefarm:** SOME DIEHARD THEATRE KIDS BUSTED OUT /NEWSIES/

**takashmeoutside:** when we did the 1920s some kids in our class started talking about guys and dolls

**shayfromstatefarm:** theatre kids, a plague on apush since forever

**kogayne:** (says the theatre kid)

**shayfromstatefarm:** you know what keith,

**carrierpidgeon:** rttyjrhewrtnyre

**hunkerdunker:** sorry shay

**hunkerdunker:** but

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK NO

**hunkerdunker:** yOU ARE OUTGUNNED

**kogayne:** OUTMANNED

**allurable:** OUTNUMBERED OUTPLANNED

**hunkerdunker:** YOU’VE GOTTA MAKE AN ALL-OUT STAND

**shayfromstatefarm:** damn i need a right-hand man

**hunkerdunker:** tragic

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow hunk tell me how u really feel

**hunkerdunker:** satisfied

**shayfromstatefarm:** yOU KNOW WHAT

**kogayne:** ….aLRIGHT ALRIGHT, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN ABOUT

**takashmeoutside:** i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory

**allurable:** :D HELL YEAH

**mattata:** TRAITOR

**mattata:** shay i’ll be ur right hand man

**mattata:** name a better duo, i’ll wait

**takashmeoutside:** tide pods and my intestines

**mattata:** fight me

**takashmeoutside:** how

**kogayne:** HEY WAIT A MINUTE

**takashmeoutside:** payback 

**kogayne:** get ur own thing leave me and my boyfriend aLONE

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me, matt and i are the originals, you’re just the wannabes

**takashmeoutside:** the next gen plastics

**kogayne:** TAKE IT BACK

**shayfromstatefarm:** he pulled out the big guns :O

**kogayne:** TAKE IT BACK U FUCKIN GRANOLA BAR

**mattata:** nut butter bar

**mattata:** nut butter ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**allurable:** why

**mattata:** nut

**carrierpidgeon:** if i’m reading my brother’s texts correctly, thru my Meme Goggles, he’s thinking abt that brain meme, where it’s a normal brain when he says nut butter bar, the weird electrified brain when he says nut butter, and the astral projection when he says nut

**mattata:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**carrierpidgeon:** SIBLING INSTINCT TRIUMPHS YET AGAIN (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**allurable:** do u ever regret a conversation,

**shayfromstatefarm:** i need a tide pod

**hunkerdunker:** give me some pods and five minutes and i can whip up a gourmet feast

**takashmeoutside:** u children and ur detergent

**kogayne:** tide pods are the new bleach

**kogayne:** instead of saying “i wanna drink bleach” now all the edgy kids say “i wanna eat tide pods”

**takashmeoutside:** and ur emo ass would know

**kogayne:** u started the tide pod thing

**takashmeoutside:** sHAY DID

**kogayne:** “name a better duo i’ll wait” “tide pods and my intestines”

**takashmeoutside:** STOP EXPOSING ME

**kogayne:** IT’S RIGHT THERE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE JUST SCROLL UP

**takashmeoutside:** DISOWNED

**kogayne:** SQUARE UP

**takashmeoutside:** GO TO CLASS

**mattata:** eat my ass

**carrierpidgeon:** Blease settle

**shayfromstatefarm:** what is happening i put my phone down for tWO SECONDS

**hunkerdunker:** welcome to hell

**carrierpidgeon:** WELCOME TO CHILIS

**allurable:** w h y

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey, just checking in, u don’t need to respond

**kogayne:** i love u

**lanceylance:** i love you too

**kogayne:** is today a space day or an affection day

**lanceylance:** ,,, idk

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** hang in there, starboy

**kogayne:** i’ll see u at lunch  <333

 

**_blue boy bodyguards_ **

**hunkerdunker:** holy shit u were right there’s nO LIFE IN HIS EYES WHERE IS MY BEST FRIEND

**kogayne:** what’s happening

**hunkerdunker:** he’s so spaced out

**hunkerdunker:** i think thace is putting together that he’s like, out of it today

**shayfromstatefarm:** 95% sure thace is considering sending lance to guidance

**kogayne:** it’d probably be good for him

**kogayne:** it’s not like u guys are doing any midterm stuff in that class anyway

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** he just looks hesitant to like, approach lance and call him out

**kogayne:** understandable

**shayfromstatefarm:** looks like he’s holding off for now

**carrierpidgeon:** yo i have a question

**kogayne:** shoot

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m signing up for classes for next year during english today

**hunkerdunker:** take apush

**shayfromstatefarm:** take apush

**kogayne:** take apush

**carrierpidgeon:** i was going to, that’s not what i was asking

**hunkerdunker:** oh

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m taking as many APs as i can

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh boy

**carrierpidgeon:** u guys probably aren’t the best people to ask tbh but how do i deal with the stress

**kogayne:** don’t wait till the last minute

**hunkerdunker:** STUDY EARLY

**shayfromstatefarm:** CARVE OUT TIME FOR SLEEP, NO MORE LATE NIGHTS

**kogayne:** see the ways we’re handling our lives right now, and then don’t do those things

**hunkerdunker:** yep basically

**kogayne:** make time for ur mental health

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes honestly fuck perfect attendance

**shayfromstatefarm:** don’t push urself, it’ll hurt u in the long run

**kogayne:** kiss ass all of first semester so by second semester u can get away with basically anything

**carrierpidgeon:** i already do that

**kogayne:** good, you’ve been taught well

**hunkerdunker:** develop good test-taking strategies

**kogayne:** i’ve bs’d more tests than i can count solely bc i’m good at guessing

**shayfromstatefarm:** have organized notes so u don’t need to guess, u can prOPERLY STUDY

**kogayne:** make time to eat

**kogayne:** one time in junior year i forgot to eat for like, two days

**carrierpidgeon:** wHA

**kogayne:** everything kind of ganged up on me at once and i lost track of time

**hunkerdunker:** food is important!!

**kogayne:** also become best friends with ur therapist

**carrierpidgeon:** ur not best friends with ur therapist

**kogayne:** listen i probably should’ve gotten a therapist sooner just mAKE SURE U CAN GO TO HER WHEN U NEED TO

**carrierpidgeon:** OKAY

**carrierpidgeon:** any other advice

**shayfromstatefarm:** in the words of haymitch abernathy, “stay alive”

**carrierpidgeon:** roger that

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**hunkerdunker:** THIS IS THE SECOND TEACHER TO EXTEND THE TEST BLESS HIRA

**allurable:** what happened in physics

**shayfromstatefarm:** she’s giving us tomorrow to finish the open-ended, which, GOOD, IDK HOW TO DO HALF OF THEM, TIME TO STUDY SOME MORE

**takashmeoutside:** why are ur teachers suddenly being so nice to u

**kogayne:** probably bc instead of having a separate week for midterms with a sensical schedule we’re taking them in the middle of the school day???

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^ they’re pushing this “projects” thing on us aka if ur not an ap class there’s like a 50-50 chance ur midterm is a project

**mattata:** ...that’s not...that’s not how college works tho…

**shayfromstatefarm:** idk how to tell u this but the district literally does not care

**hunkerdunker:** plus we were supposed to have certain subjects during certain weeks but the ap classes needed to finish teaching their material so all of our ap exams are this week :’)

**takashmeoutside:** what the fuck

**takashmeoutside:** allura how’s the teaching degree thing going

**allurable:** :))))) join me 

**takashmeoutside:** the more these guys talk abt what the district is up to, the more i consider it

**kogayne:** i’m trying to imagine u as a teacher and it’s pretty funny

**takashmeoutside:** why is it funny

**kogayne:** bc i’m thinking back to how u’ve raised me

**takashmeoutside:** ...welp

**mattata:** shiro’s going to be the english teacher of the science department

**allurable:** why does that make perfect sense

**mattata:** because it does

**allurable:** sound logic, can’t argue

**shayfromstatefarm:** 0/10 no supporting evidence, no sources, not in mla format, congrats u’ve failed my class

**mattata:** :) oh well

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so what’s the plan for today, how is he

**kogayne:** he’s pretty dead

**kogayne:** he let me touch him but he’s been like, silent

**kogayne:** i think after school we’re both coming back home

**kogayne:** like, our house

**kogayne:** as in u and me

**kogayne:** but i’m bringing lance over

**takashmeoutside:** that’s fine with me

**takashmeoutside:** give him a few hours to rest, maybe he’ll start opening up

**takashmeoutside:** also if u could find out what he wants for dinner, i’ll go get us takeout

**kogayne:** i’ll do my best

**kogayne:** i’m just,,,, hmmm

**takashmeoutside:** hmmm what

**kogayne:** he’s

**kogayne:** ugh it’s like watching a kicked puppy just give up, my heart hurts

**kogayne:** is this what it’s like when i withdraw

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** well, not completely

**takashmeoutside:** he’s generally louder and more outwardly energetic than u are, the absence of that is bigger in his case

**takashmeoutside:** but it still wears on someone who cares just the same

**kogayne:** hhnnggg

**kogayne:** i’m sorry for like

**kogayne:** when i ghost

**kogayne:** i know u don’t like it

**takashmeoutside:** don’t apologize

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll see u in what, half an hour

**kogayne:** about

**takashmeoutside:** yeah, i’ll see u then

**takashmeoutside:** just focus on finishing out the day and taking care of lance

**kogayne:** will do

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** kashi were u serious with that teaching thing

**takashmeoutside:** i mean...yeah a little

**mattata:** do it, escape this corporate hellscape and move on to teaching the youth, the adults of tomorrow,

**takashmeoutside:** i mean, this isn’t a decision i can just *make*

**takashmeoutside:** but the more i watch them lose their shit the more it seems like a good idea

**allurable:** what were u thinking about teaching

**takashmeoutside:** i mean, if i get a degree, i’m qualified to teach physics /and/ astronomy

**takashmeoutside:** so one of those, probably

**allurable:** ur going for the high school level?

**takashmeoutside:** yeah, high school’s pretty hellish, if i can make it easier…

**allurable:** DO IT

**mattata:** DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

**takashmeoutside:** idk, i’ll think about it more later

**takashmeoutside:** keith just got home with lance and wow, they were right, he’s practically a zombie

**takashmeoutside:** i’m gonna go

**mattata:** have fun tending to them

**takashmeoutside:** i will, tell sendak to choke

**mattata:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**allurable:** l8r h8rs, off to work on this p8per

**mattata:** peightper

**allurable:** :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've seen some of u worrying about me in the comments, i'm copin as best i can but today was Not Good
> 
> also to address other things:  
> -no i did not post a new years oneshot (i lost inspiration but i'm tRYING)  
> -at the moment i have no idea when this fic will end, i mean at one point i was like "what if i wrote this all through college" implying another fOUR YEARS' WORTH, but then today i was like "what if i came full circle and ended it on their first day of college" but then i was like "but i wanna write college shenanigans" so yeah i have no idea when it's ending, but definitely not any time soon. i definitely see this going beyond like, 200 chapters
> 
> okay bye idk if there's gonna be a wednesday chapter see yaaaaaa


	92. ONE DAY MOOOOOORE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent wednesday chapter: physics exam, part ii; lance slowly rejoins the world of the living as he recovers from his depressive episode, while keith watches his back
> 
> thursday chapter: psych exam, part ii; calc exam, part i; squad shenanigans; prom shenanigans, ft. klance, broganes, and platonic hance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's absolutely no les mis in this chapter bc i'm a sham
> 
> i got two hours of sleep within the last...like, 20 hours, i've been on an adrenaline high, here's to hoping i don't crash later
> 
> this chapter was brought to u by me going to the mall with my friend and also everyone stressing about calculus

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** just two more days just two more days just two more days just two more days 

**hunkerdunker:** just the second half of psych and all of calc

**hunkerdunker:** you got this, buddy

**lanceylance:** TELL ME WHY I FEEL LIKE I DON’T

**shayfromstatefarm:** DON’T DOUBT URSELF

**lanceylance:** DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i know sTOP DOUBTING URSELF

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T JUST DO THAT THERE’S NO OFF SWITCH

**kogayne:** YOU’VE GOT THIS I BELIEVE IN YOU DO NOT LET OUR STUDYING YESTERDAY GO TO WASTE

**lanceylance:** HNNNNNN

**hunkerdunker:** YOU CAN DO IT

**lanceylance:** THERE ARE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE FIRST PERIOD AND I’M NOT READY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m so glad my midterms are over with

**shayfromstatefarm:** must be nice   
****

**carrierpidgeon:** oh it is

**shayfromstatefarm:** stop rubbing it in

**carrierpidgeon:** MAKE ME

**hunkerdunker:** i’m gonna stop making desserts for u

**carrierpidgeon:** HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** sTOP HARASSING US

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT

**hunkerdunker:** BUT NOTHING

**takashmeoutside:** it’s always screaming, why is it always screaming with you kids

**allurable:** i’ve come to accept it, it means they’re all functioning normally today

**lanceylance:** yep! stressed and dying! (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** but

**lanceylance:** NOT depressed and crying! yet!

**mattata:** tag urself

**kogayne:** matt i will fucking jaw u

**mattata:** square up

**kogayne:** shiro do i have permission to fight him

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t control u

**kogayne:** [rolls up sleeves] 

**mattata:** o fuq

**carrierpidgeon:** excuse me

**carrierpidgeon:** mmm you know what here’s some good news: BUZZFEED UNSOLVED IS BACK TOMORROW

**takashmeoutside:** shaniacs rise

**carrierpidgeon:** dead to me

**kogayne:** disowned

**lanceylance:** unfriended

**carrierpidgeon:** blockt reported

**mattata:** i got u shiro

**mattata:** ahem

**kogayne:** don’t even try u moldy bread lover

**mattata:** SQUARwhat

**kogayne:** ryan’s “how to be a shaniac” u gotta love moldy bread

**carrierpidgeon:** fuck u moldy bread lovers

**takashmeoutside:** :O

**mattata:** fight me

**allurable:** why are u all trying to fight each other this morning can’t we just get along

**kogayne:** boyf and i gotta gooo we have a midterm to finish

**hunkerdunker:** good luck!

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**kogayne:** i think i did better now that i knew how to write the essay and changed half of my answers on the multiple choice

**lanceylance:** mood

**hunkerdunker:** you think shay and i’ll be okay

**kogayne:** u should be ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** keith u better pass

**kogayne:** ????? i’m gonna pass it’s not like i outright fAILED

**takashmeoutside:** u never know

**mattata:** hey gremlin did u pass all ur midterms

**carrierpidgeon:** grades are in for 5/6 of them, so yes, so far, titan

**mattata:** u had to tack on the nickname didn’t u

**carrierpidgeon:** what kind of sister would i be if i didn’t

**hunkerdunker:** why are siblings so weird

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**mattata:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** i’m with hunk on this one

**hunkerdunker:** thanks

**allurable:** seriously how do u people survive

**carrierpidgeon:** survival of the fittest

**mattata:** natural selection

**kogayne:** battle royale

**takashmeoutside:** with fists

**lanceylance:** HUNGER GAMES

**shayfromstatefarm:** presenting urself as a good person and making people feel bad for hurting u, thus earning their trust and sympathy so u can use it to ur advantage

**hunkerdunker:** ...is there anything else u wanna tell me

**lanceylance:** sHAY WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** hufflepuff...we thought she was a hufflepuff...SLYTHERIN SHAY RISE

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m jk i’m just a nice person

**carrierpidgeon:** [squints] mmmm

**shayfromstatefarm:** :O i AM

**allurable:** that speech makes me skeptical

**kogayne:** shay’s gonna say something real one day and no one’s gonna believe her

**mattata:** the boy who cried wolf effect

**carrierpidgeon:** the girl who cried slytherin effect

**takashmeoutside:** what’s wrong with u high school kids

**lanceylance:** u want a list

**kogayne:** ^^^

**takashmeoutside:** nvm

**kogayne:** that’s what i thought

**takashmeoutside:** u know wHAT KEITH

**kogayne:** WHAT SHIRO

**hunkerdunker:** can i get a waffle

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE WAFFLE VINE

**lanceylance:** …[looks left]

**lanceylance:** [looks right]

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT ARE U DOIN 

**lanceylance:** ...DO U LIKE WAFFLES

**hunkerdunker:** YEAH WE LIKE WAFFLES

**lanceylance:** DO U LIKE PANCAKES

**hunkerdunker:** YEAH WE LIKE PANCAKES

**carrierpidgeon:** MOTHERFUCKER

**lanceylance:** DO U LIKE FRENCH TOAST

**hunkerdunker:** YEAH WE LIKE FRENCH TOAST

**lanceylance:** DOOT DOOT DOO DOOT DOOT CAN’T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL

**shayfromstatefarm:** [long sigh] i’m dating one of u

**kogayne:** mood

**hunkerdunker:** yeah but u love me

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i do

**lanceylance:** aww

**lanceylance:** hey keith u love me too right

**kogayne:** nah

**lanceylance:** BETRAYED

**mattata:** top 10 anime betrayals

**lanceylance:** [clutches chest] my heart...i have been stabbed in the heart...only the power of true love can save me...keith, please, i’ll do anything

**kogayne:** anything?

**lanceylance:** ANYTHING

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** then perish

**carrierpidgeon:** [mlg horn]

**allurable:** damn

**lanceylance:** [falls to knees] i...still loved...you… [collapses] [dies]

**mattata:** top 10 anime deaths

**carrierpidgeon:** how many times has keith killed lance in this group chat

**hunkerdunker:** i think that’s four now, maybe three

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** what can i say, he’s got some

**lanceylance:** KILLER good looks (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**carrierpidgeon:** u know what killed me? how bad that pun is

**lanceylance:** fight me, tiny child

**carrierpidgeon:** TINY?  T I N Y ?  THE ONLY THING TINY IN THIS GROUP CHAT IS YOUR DICK

**lanceylance:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** WE’RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** psssssst

**kogayne:** PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST

**kogayne:** answer ur phone i have a question

**lanceylance:** sORRY i was watching a video in spanish, what’s up

**kogayne:** it’s thursday

**lanceylance:** yes

**kogayne:** it’s boneless thursday at bww

**kogayne:** u

**kogayne:** me

**kogayne:** date night, on me

**lanceylance:** :o you’re so cute

**kogayne:** hold on i’m not done

**kogayne:** and THEN

**lanceylance:** :O there’s more

**kogayne:** we fuck around in the mall

**kogayne:** and start looking for stuff to wear to prom 

**lanceylance:** :D YOU’RE SO CUTE WHAT THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** wHAT BROUGHT THIS ON

**kogayne:** u had a rough week and you’ve made it this far, i figured i’d take u out for fun and food

**lanceylance:** :’))))) i wanna kiss ur face

**kogayne:** id say meet me in the bathroom next period but i have calc and then fourth u have calc

**lanceylance:** MMMMM AND IT’S ONLY PART 1

**kogayne:** u got this, i believe in u

**lanceylance:** what if i don’t believe in me tho

**kogayne:** [grabs ur shoulders]

**kogayne:** [looks u dead in the eye]

**lanceylance:** [kisses u before u can do anything]

**kogayne:** u impulsive little shit

**lanceylance:** but u would’ve liked it wouldn’t u

**kogayne:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s not important

**lanceylance:** ;))))

**kogayne:** [stops kissin u and puts our foreheads together]

**lanceylance:** aw ur being even cuter

**kogayne:** “we studied. you can do it. it wont be completely awful. you can get through this.”

**lanceylance:** [is most definitely not crying]

**lanceylance:** “okay thank u baby”

**kogayne:** oh there’s the bell 

**lanceylance:** good luck!!!!!!!!!

**kogayne:** u too <3

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**hunkerdunker:** KEITH HURRY HOW WAS CALC

**hunkerdunker:** QUICK BEFORE SHE TAKES OUR PHONES

**kogayne:** IF YOU PAID ATTENTION YESTERDAY AND KNEW WHAT WAS ON THAT SHEET WE WROTE UP YOU SHOULD BE GOOD

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAA THANKS

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**lotoreal:** how are the ap calculus-takers

**lanceylance:** somehow still alive

**acxalutelynot:** one day left!!! just one!!!!!!!!!!

**dinezor:** wow u never use exclamation points

**acxalutelynot:** ONE MORE DAY OF THIS HELLSCAPE AND THEN WE SLOW DOWN

**kogayne:** we’re all alive, hows ur squad

**zethridofmyproblems:** done with midterms and enjoying life

**sippinganartini:** ^^^

**lotoreal:** i have good news, actually 

**kogayne:** share

**lotoreal:** :) i won the emancipation case

**lanceylance:** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**hunkerdunker:** CONGRATS DUDE

**lotoreal:** there’s just one slight problem

**lotoreal:** im not employed, and i’m in need of money

**acxalutelynot:** dude i told you my family will help u

**sippinganartini:** mine too

**dinezor:** AND MINE

**zethridofmyproblems:** ME TOO

**lotoreal:** i can’t just take money from your families

**kogayne:** shiro’s the same way

**kogayne:** i am too tbh

**shayfromstatefarm:** mmmm lotor let me get back to u this afternoon

**lotoreal:** wait i didn’t mean

**shayfromstatefarm:** didn’t mean what

**kogayne:** let her work her magic

**lotoreal:** ...okay

**dinezor:** yo once midterms are done let’s all get together and hang out

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** did she just

**lanceylance:** she did

**kogayne:** are we accepting

**carrierpidgeon:** hold up

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** will there be food at this hangout

**dinezor:** DUH???

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** are we accepting

**shayfromstatefarm:** well i mean...what would we be doing

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** and what would we be doing

**dinezor:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ movie marathon??? board games???? karaoke????? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** are we accepting

**lanceylance:** i don’t see why not

**kogayne:** i mean we’re friends with them now, aren’t we

**shayfromstatefarm:** we already spent two weeks straight sharing an auditorium with them

**lanceylance:** nothing about those two weeks was straight

**shayfromstatefarm:** mcdmsksk shut up

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT WE’RE ACCEPTING?

**hunkerdunker:** YES

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m in

**kogayne:** i’ll go

**lanceylance:** ^^^^

**hunkerdunker:** sounds good

**shayfromstatefarm:** count me in

**dinezor:** WOOOOOO

**lotoreal:** i’ll go

**acxalutelynot:** i don’t have a choice do i

**dinezor:** no u don’t <3

**zethridofmyproblems:** im in!!!!

**sippinganartini:** looking forward to it

**dinezor:** NARTI I SWEAR

**dinezor:** but cOOL WE’RE ALL IN, HOW BOUT FRIDAY, MY PLACE, SLEEPOVER

**kogayne:** we’re taking twenty minutes to watch buzzfeed unsolved when it drops

**dinezor:** okay!!

**kogayne:** i have Waited for a MONTH

**lanceylance:** i claim the spot at keith’s side wherever we are so everyone bibbity bobbity back the fuck off

**acxalutelynot:** relax no one wants ur boy

**kogayne:** :O i’m quite the catch

**acxalutelynot:** okay but also i’m in a relationship 

**acxalutelynot:** and i’m a lesbian

**dinezor:** literally same!!! whoa magical

**sippinganartini:** same

**zethridofmyproblems:** ...i mean i’m pan but i’m also in a relationship and have a preference for girls ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** -_-

**lotoreal:** i’m just not interested 

**kogayne:** sigh

**lanceylance:** ;-; i’ve got u babe

**lanceylance:** /i/ want u

**lanceylance:** NOT LIKE THESE HEATHENS, CAN’T SEE A PERFECT BEING STARING THEM RIGHT IN THE FACE

**dinezor:** why are u talking about acxa

**carrierpidgeon:** why does a group chat with you people always become the relationship chat i am single and bITTER

**hunkerdunker:** ez what’s your address

_ (1) map from  _ **_dinezor_ **

**dinezor:** there ya go :D

**hunkerdunker:** so tomorrow night, like /right/ after school orrrrr

**dinezor:** whenever y’all want!! 

**dinezor:** just be there by like idk 5?? 6??? so we can do stuff

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** OKAY SO HERE’S THE PLAN

**kogayne:** oh?

**lanceylance:** tonight before and after the mall we’re at my place

**kogayne:** okay

**lanceylance:** after school tomorrow we hang at urs before we go to ez’s

**kogayne:** sounds good to me

**kogayne:** also

**lanceylance:** also

**kogayne:** how u feeling today, u at 100% finally

**lanceylance:** i’d call it 95   
****

**kogayne:** good enough

**kogayne:** i missed u

**kogayne:** well okay like

**kogayne:** u were here

**kogayne:** i missed ur smile

**lanceylance:** ur so soft what the fuck

**lanceylance:** i fuckin love soft keith

**lanceylance:** i mean

**lanceylance:** i love every keith but man soft keith is fuckin amazing

**kogayne:** <3333

**kogayne:** soft keith went into hibernation for so many years dude u have no idea

**lanceylance:** i think freshman year proved that mr “i have to be better than lance at everything”

**kogayne:** U STARTED THE RILVARY MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** rilvary

**kogayne:** etryrewenbgerf stfu

**lanceylance:** but anyway yeah i know

**kogayne:** f uc k i’m about to start crying in the middle of the cafeteria

**lanceylance:** :(((((((((((

**kogayne:** NO THEY’RE GOOD TEARS SHHHH

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU TWO ARE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE TEXTING ABOUT

**kogayne:** Dirty Things

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah right and i’m friends with beyonce

**kogayne:** don’t tell lance

**carrierpidgeon:** ehngrertgrf you are NOT texting about dirty things, you two would be a lot more red if u were

**kogayne:** stop being observant

**carrierpidgeon:** fuckin make me

**kogayne:** SHHH LET ME ROMANCE LANCE IN PEACE

**kogayne:** BE GRATEFUL WE’RE NOT SUBJECTING THE WHOLE TABLE TO OUR LOVE

**carrierpidgeon:** ...you know what carry on

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** BUT WHY TEARS

**kogayne:** BECAUSE u came into my life and helped me with so many things 

**kogayne:** fuck this is one of the most cliche things i’m ever gonna say but there was something MISSING in my life and u walked in and my fucking SOUL was like “there it is!! that’s my missing piece!!!”

**lanceylance:** what y hre ck

**kogayne:** i love u so much it hurts

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

**mattata:** oh nOW WHAT

**takashmeoutside:** what happened now

**carrierpidgeon:** KLANCE IS BEING MUSHY IN FRONT OF ME MAKE IT STOP

**kogayne:** LET US LIVE

**lanceylance:** LET ME LOVE HIM

**kogayne:** WE’RE NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING

**hunkerdunker:** you two have been texting and making heart eyes since lunch started

**lanceylance:** IT COULD BE WORSE

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^ he’s not wrong

**kogayne:** I COULD MAKE IT WORSE IF PIDGE KEEPS COMPLAINING

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**hunkerdunker:** SPARE US

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...u know what, i’m indifferent

**hunkerdunker:** S H A Y  WHO’S SIDE ARE YOU ON

**shayfromstatefarm:** neutral party ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** THANKS SHAY

**carrierpidgeon:** DEAD TO ME

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i’ve got plans for the next two days

**takashmeoutside:** why did i have a feeling

**kogayne:** i dunno, ur Keith Senses?

**takashmeoutside:** i have keith senses?

**kogayne:** well usually they’re just Keith Might Be Doing Reckless Shit Again Senses

**takashmeoutside:** that’s unsettlingly specific but true

**takashmeoutside:** what are your plans

**kogayne:** well after school i’m going to lance’s

**takashmeoutside:** okay

**kogayne:** tonight we’re going to the mall and then back to his house

**takashmeoutside:** okay

**kogayne:** and then tomorrow after school we’re coming back to our house

**takashmeoutside:** okay

**kogayne:** and then tomorrow night ezor invited our whole friend group for a sleepover

**takashmeoutside:** oh, your groups are close enough for that?

**kogayne:** at this point in our lives i’m pretty sure we’ve all reached that “idgaf if we just became friends i’d die for you probably” stage

**takashmeoutside:** why is that so specific

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** live fast die young bad kids do it well

**takashmeoutside:** wha

**takashmeoutside:** okay one the quote is life fast die young bad /girls/ do it well

**takashmeoutside:** last i checked, u identified as a boy

**takashmeoutside:** also ur a legal adult now

**takashmeoutside:** and fourth, sTOP WITH THE EARLY DEATH THREATS KEITH WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS

**kogayne:** shhhh let it happen

**takashmeoutside:** ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU STILL LIVE UNDER MY ROOF YOU’RE UNDER MY ROOLS

**kogayne:** ROOLS?

**takashmeoutside:** FUCK I MEANT ROOS

**takashmeoutside:** RULES

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** MY BRAIN WAS STILL IN ROOF MODE

**kogayne:** smh i can’t believe u survived raising me long enough for us to even be having this conversation, how did u do it

**takashmeoutside:** caffeine

**kogayne:** OH REALLY NOW

**takashmeoutside:** wAIT SHIT

**kogayne:** AND YOU YELL AT ME

**takashmeoutside:** YOU’RE NOT A SINGLE PARENT RAISING A CHILD

**kogayne:** UR NOT EVEN MY PARENT

**kogayne:** UR LIKE MY BROTHER

**takashmeoutside:** C L O S E  E N O U G H

**kogayne:** N O T  R E A L L Y

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT DO U MEAN NOT REALLY

**kogayne:** OLDER BROTHERS ARE COOL PARENTS AREN’T

**takashmeoutside:** ...u think i’m cool?

**kogayne:** ...well yeah

**kogayne:** u were always like, the coolest guy i knew

**takashmeoutside:** wh

**takashmeoutside:** what

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me for a moment

 

**_< 3_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** ALL THESE YEARS HE THOUGHT I WAS COOL

**takashmeoutside:** I THOUGHT HE WAS LYING

**allurable:** it took you this long to realize

**mattata:** unbelievable

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** u okay there

**takashmeoutside:** yEAH I’M FINE

**kogayne:** ...uh-huh…

**kogayne:** weLL i’m gonna go i’m the one driving me and lance around so i’ll talk to u later

**takashmeoutside:** have fun!!

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** UPDATE I AM HAVING A CRISIS

**takashmeoutside:** oh no

**kogayne:** LANCE IS TOO PERFECT AND HE LOOKS HOT IN ANYTHING HE WEARS PROM SHOPPING IS IMPOSSIBLE

**takashmeoutside:** why did i know this was coming

 

**_< 3_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** nvm he’s back on his bullshit

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** WHAT DO I DO, HE KEEPS ASKING MY OPINION LIKE??? HE LOOKS GOOD IN ANYTHING HE WEARS

**takashmeoutside:** tell him that

**kogayne:** BUT THAT’S NOT HELPFUL FOR FINDING SOMETHING FOR PROM

**takashmeoutside:** tuxes (i’m assuming ur both wearing tuxes?) are pretty common to find, and prom’s not till may

**kogayne:** lance and i are wearing tuxes but we’re not wearing bland black suits, we’re going glamorous

**kogayne:** u ever seen john boyega on the red carpet? lance says he wants to channel john boyega

**takashmeoutside:** ...i see…

**kogayne:** omfg this one guy tried to come up and help us shop earlier and he was like “can i help u two gentlemen?” and he started asking us questions about what we were looking for and goes “well have your dates picked dresses yet that you can try to match?”

**takashmeoutside:** the heteronormative agenda strikes again

**kogayne:** gtyhrefrbgfs lance looks at the guy, and looks at me, and goes “keith i didn’t know u were wearing a dress” and the guy got sO RED HE’S LIKE “OMFG I’M SO SORRY” DNGREFWGRHTS

**kogayne:** on the bright side then he started trying to help us sort of match each other but so far we still have no idea what we’re wearing but literally i’d take lance in sweats bc he’d make them work and sHIRO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

**takashmeoutside:** tHEN STOP TEXTING ME AND HANG OUT WITH HIM

**kogayne:** he’s changing

**kogayne:** i mean normally he wouldn’t care but we’re in public

**takashmeoutside:** there are some things i wish u wouldn’t tell me

**kogayne:** WHAT

**kogayne:** u know what nvm carry on have a good night i’m changing my name and running away to peru

**takashmeoutside:** why peru

**kogayne:** i dunno it was the first country that came into my head

**takashmeoutside:** why not belgium, they’ve got waffles

**kogayne:** tell that to hunk

**kogayne:** anyway bye going

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** HELP ME 

**hunkerdunker:** what’s wrong??

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**hunkerdunker:** ...do u actually need help or are u about to gush

**lanceylance:** HE’S FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND MY MORTAL EYES CAN’T HANDLE IT

**hunkerdunker:** then perish

**lanceylance:** :O NO BUT /LISTEN/

**lanceylance:** i have a story to tell u 

**lanceylance:** so we’re prom shopping, right

**hunkerdunker:** and i wasn’t invited, how rude

**lanceylance:** sORRY IT WAS DATE NIGHT

**hunkerdunker:** i’m joking, go on

**lanceylance:** so we’re prom shopping

**lanceylance:** and like, we’ve decided we can’t just go with ur typical “black suit w matching ties” thing, we’ve gotta make a STATEMENT, we’re going john boyega on this thing

**hunkerdunker:** john boyega is an attractive man who knows how to wear a suit

**lanceylance:** RIGHT??

**lanceylance:** so anyway we’re looking around and this sales guy comes up to us and asks if we need help, so we’re like “yeah help us out pls” (we said pls bc we’re cool like that)

**hunkerdunker:** oh no i can already see where this is going

**lanceylance:** THE HETERO AGENDA STRIKES AGAIN

**lanceylance:** i’m like, asking about what the guy thinks i should wear and stuff and what he recommends and he goes

**lanceylance:** “well, has your date picked out a dress yet? if she has, you can try to match her.”

**lanceylance:** HE THOUGHT KEITH AND I WERE IN THERE, JUST TWO GUYS BEIN DUDES

**hunkerdunker:** i’m cringing on your behalf

**lanceylance:** thanks buddy

**lanceylance:** so i pause

**lanceylance:** and keith pauses

**lanceylance:** and automatically this guy knows, on some level where his sixth sense is screaming bloody murder, that he’s fucked up

**lanceylance:** so i look at keith, and then at the guy, and back at keith, and i go “keith, i didn’t know you were wearing a dress”

**lanceylance:** keith snorts (and it’s the most endearing thing i’ve ever heard i love him so much pls punch me in the face) and the guy’s like “...OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY” and he’s like, profusely apologizing like he’s begging me not to hand him a death sentence

**hunkerdunker:** i can actually picture him i’m laughign

**lanceylance:** and i’m like “nah, man, it’s cool, we get that a lot,” which, we do, it fuckin SUCKS like nO HE’S THE BOY I’M GONNA MARRY 

**lanceylance:** well technically keith is a man now and i’m almost a man but SEMANTICS

**lanceylance:** the guy did make up for it, he was genuinely sorry and embarrassed and he started showing us all this stuff but so far it’s a bust, we haven’t got anything

**lanceylance:** well, i didn’t find anything, keith is changing right now so maybe he’ll find something /he/ likes that /i/ can match

**hunkerdunker:** well, that was interesting

**hunkerdunker:** if u don’t find anything then we can hit the mall a few towns over during the weekend??? or during february?? like the three of us????

**lanceylance:** OOOHHHH YEAH

**lanceylance:** and i promise u won’t be a third wheel

**hunkerdunker:** do i give u the benefit of the doubt

**lanceylance:** um yes absolutely

**hunkerdunker:** hmmmm

**lanceylance:** :))))))

**hunkerdunker:** alright

**lanceylance:** :DDD

**lanceylance:** okie gotta go!!! thanks for listening to me yelling!!!! 

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_hunkerdunker > takashmeoutside_ **

**hunkerdunker:** did keith text u

**takashmeoutside:** did lance text u

**hunkerdunker:** they’re so whipped

**takashmeoutside:** tell me about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this got longer than intended
> 
> yeah so anyway i didn't sleep bc i had plans after school and had a full medium dunkin coffee and then a venti starbucks frappuccino and also buffalo wild wings and i bought fiery sour patch kids??? i think they're actually kinda hot but then again i'm White so my exposure to hot things has been limited (thanks mom) 
> 
> ANYWAY tomorrow's the last day of the semester and i'm not even doing anything till last period (calculuuuuus) so uhhhh i'm gonna go and hopefully tomorrow's good too 
> 
> OHOOHOHOHOHOHOH BEFORE I GO I'M GONNA BRAG i bought my second pack of multicolored gel pens in a week (bc this pack had (2) colors that i didn't have) and i now own every voltron pin from hot topic and also i got a really cool nasa shirt from target and ALSO i got a pin that says "The floor is lava! -Everyone, Pompeii, 79 AD" so yEAH TODAY WAS GOOD BYEEEEE


	93. DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the last day of exams (aka: calculus part ii)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this is the friday chapter
> 
> idk if u follow me on ig (nerdyspaceace) but if u don't here's the rundown: friday i was too tired to finish this, so i fell asleep. saturday i woke up to a splitting headache, a cough, my period, and clogged sinuses. i'm in and out of bed all day, i literally could not bring myself to write more than a sentence before i had to lie back down. sunday (today) i woke up at 5 AM to my headache, was on-and-off sleeping till about 9, at which point i ate and now my headache is gone and i feel better
> 
> two days of rest, i'm better. no wonder, really, i'm sick for 500 years during the school week (BECAUSE I DON'T REST DURING THE SCHOOL WEEK)
> 
> anyway this is the friday chapter

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**lanceylance:** DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY

**lanceylance:** 24 HOURS REMAIN

**hunkerdunker:** 1\. it is not dawn

**hunkerdunker:** 2\. there are like 4 hours until calc

**lanceylance:** DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY, 24 HOURS REMAIN

**hunkerdunker:** u know what? whatever u say

**kogayne:** i’ve only got like 3 hours

**shayfromstatefarm:** poor unfortunate soul

**kogayne:** do not talk disney at me this early in the morning

**lanceylance:** chill mr grumpypants

**kogayne:** u opened the group chat with screaming

**allurable:** ah, situation normal

**takashmeoutside:** why are u normalizing this

**allurable:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ were we really any different

**mattata:** i can answer that: NNNNNNOPE

**takashmeoutside:** WE’RE SUPPOSED TO LEAD BY GOOD EXAMPLE

**mattata:** *bi good example

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**shayfromstatefarm:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**mattata:** BI SQUAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** is there even a point in going to school today if i’m not doing anything

**kogayne:** smoothie day in the cafeteria

**lanceylance:** SMOOTHIES ARE NOT A FULL LUNCH

**mattata:** wtf yes they are??

**carrierpidgeon:** DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOURSE

**carrierpidgeon:** TEAM SMOOTHIE FOR LUNCH VS TEAM NOT A REAL MEAL

**kogayne:** smoothies are so a meal??? 

**lanceylance:** babe i love u but u are wrong shhhh

**kogayne:** fight me

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^

**lanceylance:** NOT YOU TOO

**mattata:** lance why are u so Wrong

**hunkerdunker:** nah i’m with lance on this

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU, /HUNK/, AT LEAST SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME

**lanceylance:** UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU HEATHENS

**shayfromstatefarm:** chill i’m on ur side too

**allurable:** i’ve always enjoyed smoothies as a meal ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** DEAD TO ME

**allurable:** :O :(

**lanceylance:** wait allura nooo :(

**kogayne:** oh i see how it is you’re upset when /she’s/ upset but not me mmmhmmmmmm i see how it is

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro you’re suspiciously quiet over there

**kogayne:** that’s because he doesn’t want to admit he’s a heathen just like the rest of us

**mattata:** ^^^ there are things he considered meals in college that i wouldn’t poke with a 10 foot stick

**takashmeoutside:** sTOP EXPOSING ME

**mattata:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** 5-3, THAT’S THE DECIDING VOTE

**lanceylance:** smh why am i friends with you people

**kogayne:** i dunno, why are u friends with us

**lanceylance:** did u just downgrade me

**kogayne:** yeah what are u gonna do about it

**lanceylance:** BATTLE

**kogayne:** WHAT BATTLE

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE I SWEAR

**lanceylance:** I BET MY MOUTH IS STRONGER THAN YOURS

**mattata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaand there it is

**kogayne:** OH BET WANNA FIND OUT

**lanceylance:** PHONE DOWN WE’RE DOING THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** did u know i have hatred for all of u

**carrierpidgeon:** but especially u two

**hunkerdunker:** i have a feeling they’re not paying attention

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro, care to confirm

**takashmeoutside:** don’t look at me, they’re at lance’s

**carrierpidgeon:** smh 

**mattata:** anyway calc kids good luck today!!!!!!!

**hunkerdunker:** thanks we’re gonna need it

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**kogayne:** IT’S NOT AWFUL YOU’LL PROBABLY BE FINE

**lanceylance:** WE FUCKIN BETTER BE

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so how did it goooo

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna fling myself out a window

**kogayne:** okay, nO

**shayfromstatefarm:** it wasn’t completely awful

**lanceylance:** iT wAsN’T cOMPleTEly Aw FUL

**hunkerdunker:** aw ful

**lanceylance:** autocorrect failing me when i need it most smh

**carrierpidgeon:** EVERYONE SHUT UP COMPLAIN AFTER I GET MY SMOOTHIE

**lanceylance:** I WILL COMPLAIN WHENEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT ME

**lanceylance:** I WILL TAKE UR SMOOTHIE AND DUMP IT ON UR HEAD

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT ME FUCKER

**lanceylance:** SQUARE UP GREMLIN 

**mattata:** why is threatening to fight each other the norm around here

**mattata:** all of this fighting is tEARING THIS FAMILY APART

**carrierpidgeon:** F I G H T  M E

**allurable:** it’s always the holts

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay, look on the bright side: either way, it’s over with, we’re done with exams, we’re gonna spend the next 3 periods doing nothing

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** STUDY HALL

**hunkerdunker:** u do realize it’s our last study hall, right

**hunkerdunker:** we’ve got health next semester

**kogayne:** but we still have friday study halls

**kogayne:** u know when guidance gets its act together and fixes our schedules so we have a friday study hall

**shayfromstatefarm:** sorry, i’m sitting here imagining the horror it would’ve been to have had health this semester instead of next

**kogayne:** why would u do that to urself

**lanceylance:** i actually might’ve dropped calc

**hunkerdunker:** but we’re supposedly slowing down now!! it’s all good!!!

**lanceylance:** OKAY BUT ANYWAY KEITH, STUDY HALL

**kogayne:** yes we’ve established we have study hall

**lanceylance:** YOU, ME, NAP TIME

**hunkerdunker:** i want in on that

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^

**kogayne:** hira’s literally just gonna have a bunch of sleeping calc students

**kogayne:** and everyone who doesn’t take calc is either also gonna be wiped out or very confused

**lanceylance:** the only downside is that we have to get up for last period

**kogayne:** unless we skip

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me

**kogayne:** i’m 18 u can’t tell me what to do

**takashmeoutside:** EXCUSE ME

**kogayne:** >:)

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH AKIRA KOGANE

**kogayne:** I WILL NOT SKIP LAST PERIOD

**takashmeoutside:** lance

**lanceylance:** i’ll hold him to it

**kogayne:** :O I’VE BEEN BETRAYED

**lanceylance:** IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

**allurable:** tag urself i’m lance

**mattata:** keith

**hunkerdunker:** lance

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance

**carrierpidgeon:** keith

**mattata:** stfu ur not keith

**carrierpidgeon:** [sigh] lance

**mattata:** u know who was keith sometimes

**takashmeoutside:** MATTHEW

**mattata:** [cups hands around mouth] TAKASHI SHIROGANE HAD DELINQUENT TENDENCIES AND DOESN’T WANNA OWN UP BECAUSE HE HAS TO PUT ON A PERFECTIONIST FACADE

**kogayne:** u act like it’s some big secret, i fucking lived with u

**kogayne:** WHERE DO U THINK I GOT IT FROM

**takashmeoutside:** mmhmm, trying to copy your cool older brother

**kogayne:** ur not cool

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i beg to differ

**kogayne:** GHMTRHEGNHTRTEGF

**allurable:** awww

**lanceylance:** SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH

**kogayne:** i’ve been exposed

**carrierpidgeon:** We Been Knew

**kogayne:** PIDGE YOU’RE SOFT TOO DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED

**carrierpidgeon:** SHHHHH THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW LET ME DRINK MY SMOOTHIE IN PEACE

**kogayne:** I HAVE RECEIPTS DON’T MAKE ME USE THEM

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT UR DIRTY MOUTH KOGANE

**lanceylance:** don’t worry pidge i’ve got even more soft keith receipts

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** WHAT ARE U GONNA DO, EXPOSE ME

**lanceylance:** EVERYONE KNOWS I’M A SOFTIE, GO AHEAD, DO UR FUCKIN WORST

**kogayne:** MMMMMMMMM I HATE U

**lanceylance:** I HATE ME TOO

**kogayne:** WAIT NO

**allurable:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE U ENCOURAGING THEM

**lanceylance:** :’) I THINK I WON

**kogayne:** L A N C E

**lanceylance:** i’m jk

**lanceylance:** ...FOR NOW

**hunkerdunker:** DUDE U CAN’T JUST SAY THAT

**lanceylance:** I CAN I DID AND I WILL

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO??

**lanceylance:** WHO’S GONNA STOP ME

**kogayne:** ME

**lanceylance:** YEAH??? YOU AND WHAT ARMY

**kogayne:** A SEVEN NATION ARMY

**lanceylance:** A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN’T HOLD ME BACK

**carrierpidgeon:** oh you fuckers made it emo

**allurable:** didn’t we agree before that on the prep-emo scale, you’re /also/ emo

**kogayne:** but didn’t we agree lance was a prep

**lanceylance:** we’re not bringing this back up

**allurable:** pidge start some different discourse

**carrierpidgeon:** fruity gum vs mint/cinnamon/not-fruit gum

**carrierpidgeon:** pick ur sides

**lanceylance:** why is this the best u could come up with

**carrierpidgeon:** bc i’m drinking a fruit smoothie

**carrierpidgeon:** for the record, tho, i’m on team not-fruity gum

**lanceylance:** fruit. done. next.

**carrierpidgeon:** >:(

**kogayne:** i’m with lance on this

**carrierpidgeon:** U TRAITOR I THOUGHT FOR SURE U WOULD CHOOSE NOT-FRUIT

**lanceylance:** :) i knew he’d choose fruit

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** yeah uh i’m with pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** THANKS SHIRO

**mattata:** team fruit

**allurable:** team not-fruit????

**lanceylance:** u self-hating heathens

**hunkerdunker:** BUT WEREN’T YOU JUST HATING ON YOURSELF LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO

**lanceylance:** ??? no??????

**hunkerdunker:** WHA

**lanceylance:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**hunkerdunker:** mhm

**hunkerdunker:** anyway, team fruity gum

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^

**lanceylance:** u fruit-hating heathens are outnumbered

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT ME

**allurable:** I THOUGHT WE AGREED NO ONE WAS FIGHTING

**takashmeoutside:** this is what you get for asking pidge to start discourse

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**dinezor:** WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’S READY FOR TONIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** u made a bad decision texting sixth period

**dinezor:** why

**carrierpidgeon:** to my knowledge, klance and hunay are all sleeping

**carrierpidgeon:** they’ve got study hall

**acxalutelynot:** with who

**carrierpidgeon:** hira

**acxalutelynot:** oh

**zethridofmyproblems:** ohhhhhhh don’t they have physics 5

**carrierpidgeon:** yep

**sippinganartini:** i wish i was sleeping

**sippinganartini:** ez i’m coming over right after school and napping on your couch and you can’t stop me

**dinezor:** fine with me ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**zethridofmyproblems:** i’m coming with her and i’m kicking your ass at just dance while she sleeps

**dinezor:** YOU’RE ON

**lotoreal:** i’ll come right after school and watch that mess go down

**dinezor:** you want in and you know it

**lotoreal:** perhaps

**acxalutelynot:** guess that means i’m coming too

**carrierpidgeon:** uhhh idk who my ride is so i’ll probably go with hunk or shay

**carrierpidgeon:** i’d say “or klance” but i’m not gonna subject myself to that

**dinezor:** that’s understandable

**acxalutelynot:** Insufferable™

**zethridofmyproblems:** they’re going to wake up and read this group chat you know

**acxalutelynot:** i’m not afraid of them

**carrierpidgeon:** not even of keith, with his emo aesthetic and leather fingerless gloves and messy hair

**acxalutelynot:** nope

**dinezor:** keith’s not scary 

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**kogayne:** I JUST WOKE UP

**kogayne:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M NOT SCARY

**acxalutelynot:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ you’re not scary

**zethridofmyproblems:** sorry dude

**lanceylance:** :O WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S NOT SCARY

**dinezor:** fwiw you’re not that scary either

**acxalutelynot:** the only time i’ve ever seen lance be scary was that one time at rehearsal when dickass mcfuckface showed up

**lanceylance:** i’ve seen keith scarier than that

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^^

**kogayne:** okay so i’m nOT /ALWAYS/ SCARY BUT COME ON, I DON’T EVEN HAVE THAT VIBE

**acxalutelynot:** maybe to a stranger?

**sippinganartini:** i wouldn’t know ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** my boyfriend is scary trust me

**acxalutelynot:** /when/ has he been scary

**lanceylance:** first of all, several times when it’s come down to dickass mcfuckface and his girlfriend

**lanceylance:** and there have been other occasions

**acxalutelynot:** like?

**lanceylance:** plenty

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP SORRY

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s okay

**carrierpidgeon:** mothman u okay

**kogayne:** yeah i just don’t wanna disclose it to them

**kogayne:** we’ve become friends but that’s still...not something they need to know about

**hunkerdunker:** i’ve got this

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**hunkerdunker:** remember when he and lance went up against paul

**hunkerdunker:** when the whole school thought they broke up

**zethridofmyproblems:** ...okay yeah i can see it a little

**acxalutelynot:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ nope sorry

**kogayne:** smh

**lanceylance:** my boyfriend is scary and i love him

**dinezor:** WE ALL KNOW YOU LOVE HIM

**lanceylance:** [STANDS ON A TABLE]

**acxalutelynot:** i will flip this table

**lanceylance:** [CUPS HANDS AROUND MOUTH]

**dinezor:** GET DOWN

**lanceylance:** I LOVE KEITH KOGANE WITH EVERY LAST PIECE OF ME AND I AM GOING TO MARRY THE SHIT OUT OF HIM ONE DAY AND WE’RE GONNA RAISE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY

**shayfromstatefarm:** the best part of reading this is knowing lance and keith are in astronomy right now, and keith is probably freaking out /right next to him/

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** u mean like this

**kogayne:** ur doing me so dirty right now

**lanceylance:** i love u :)  <3 <3 <3

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk or shay can one of you bring me to ezor’s tonight, i don’t wanna ask klance for a ride

**lanceylance:** rUDE

**kogayne:** suit urself 

**lanceylance:** mmmm yeah keith’s right

**lanceylance:** JUST GIVES ME MORE ALONE TIME TO ROMANCE HIM

**kogayne:** stfu u absolute sap

**carrierpidgeon:** INSUFFERABLE

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**kogayne:** it’s friday u know what that means

**kogayne:** GRATITUDE DAY

**takashmeoutside:** it’s like 3 in the afternoon

**kogayne:** yeah but all of us Teens™ have somewhere to be tonight so let’s do them now

**lanceylance:** I’M GRATEFUL THIS WEEK IS OVER AND MY EXAMS ARE DONE

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful that so far i haven’t failed anything

**lanceylance:** yet

**hunkerdunker:** hush

**lanceylance:** u can silence me but i’ll still be here, waiting

**takashmeoutside:** that’s...ominous

**takashmeoutside:** i’m grateful i don’t have to listen to any more complaining about midterms

**kogayne:** i’m grateful that i have my life back

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m grateful for the quarter ending. new quarter, new beginning

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m grateful i’m not in ap calculus

**lanceylance:** yet

**carrierpidgeon:** [sigh] next year

**kogayne:** FUCK i forgot you took precalc as a sophomore

**carrierpidgeon:** [longer sigh] yep

**shayfromstatefarm:** yikies

**mattata:** i’m grateful i already took that hell of a class

**allurable:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand i’m grateful that you all can sTART SLEEPING

**kogayne:** mmm

**lanceylance:** i nEED SLEEP i can feel myself starting to get sick

**kogayne:** ...i’ve been with you all week...i was at ur house last night...ur at my house right now...FUCK

**lanceylance:** if i go down i’m taking you with me

**kogayne:** clearly

**takashmeoutside:** if it’s anything like that time in like, november or december

**lanceylance:** ahahahahaha you mean where i got better after like 2 days and keith was sick almost a week

**kogayne:** fight me

**lanceylance:** how

**carrierpidgeon:** every fuckdamn day

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway hunk i’ll be waiting

**hunkerdunker:** leaving soon

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m going to ez’s now

**kogayne:** lance and i will be there soon

**takashmeoutside:** u kids have fun

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** ughhhh 

**kogayne:** why are u texting me

**kogayne:** where are u

**lanceylance:** bathroom

**lanceylance:** i woke up and my sinuses are backed up

**kogayne:** nO

**kogayne:** NONONONONONONO 

**kogayne:** LANCE CHARLES MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** u can’t run

**kogayne:** FUCK 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smoothies are totally a full meal and you can fight me
> 
> anyway, no saturday or sunday chapter, here are the summaries: everyone sleeps and i project onto lance for two days, the end
> 
> ANYWAY i planned on trying to update stars go down this weekend but seeing as i lost a whole day to a head cold, we'll see. the goal now is to update before friday, bc that means it'll have been a month since my last update (a new record, wowie)
> 
> see y'all in the next chapter


	94. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (the author is dead inside)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what, you thought i was done projecting on lance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao school was a trainwreck i'll explain more in the end notes
> 
> **trigger warnings for graphic descriptions of organs being ripped out (first few lines), lance joking about dying (but is he joking tho :P), and a DEPRESSIVE EPISODE (funnnnn >:|)**

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** MOTHERFUCKING BITCH ON A SHITSTICK

**kogayne:** pidge it’s 6 in the morning

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH KOGANE

**lanceylance:** why’s there screaming

**lanceylance:** ...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**shayfromstatefarm:** is there glitter in miami

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM GOING TO RIP OUT MY UTERUS

**carrierpidgeon:** AND I AM GOING TO FEED IT TO THE GEESE SITTING IN THE FIELD NEXT TO THE SCHOOL

**kogayne:** that was graphic

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM DYING

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS IS THE END OF KATIE HOLT

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m hitting rite aid and buying u dark chocolate 

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve also got spare pads or tampons if u need any

**hunkerdunker:** i’ve got plenty of painkiller and i also have some pads and tampons

**lanceylance:** why do u have them

**hunkerdunker:** in case shay or another uterus-haver needs them ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** ur a good person, my dude

**hunkerdunker:** i try

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** wow and we thought we were done screaming after the hell that was last week

**shayfromstatefarm:** apparently not

**shayfromstatefarm:** speaking of last week, am i the only one who missed working at the café last week

**lanceylance:** no i missed it too, it’s cozy in there

**shayfromstatefarm:** also, speaking of the café,

**kogayne:** u brought it up

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i know!!! convenient!! i talked to my uncle about getting lotor a job there

**shayfromstatefarm:** u all better be chill with it bc it’s happening

**kogayne:** fine w me

**lanceylance:** ^^^^^^^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** COOOL WHATEVER I’M DIYNG

**hunkerdunker:** i’m down

**shayfromstatefarm:** awesome

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > lotoreal_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** psst

**shayfromstatefarm:** good morning!

**lotoreal:** um

**lotoreal:** good morning.

**shayfromstatefarm:** can u fill this out and get it back to me like, asap?

_ (1) link from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**lotoreal:** i’ll fill it out as soon as i’m finished getting ready for school.

**lotoreal:** thank you.

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**kogayne:** i forgot about a lot of homework this weekend apparently

**mattata:** why did you have homework

**kogayne:** ap grind

**hunkerdunker:** our teachers hate us

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re never allowed to rest

**lanceylance:** we’re probably being punished for sins of our past

**hunkerdunker:** sins of a past life

**lanceylance:** we all got reincarnated into hell

**hunkerdunker:** ...yOU MAKE THIS SCHOOL BUILDING WE SHARE A /HELL/

**lanceylance:** SO DO YOU

**lanceylance:** THAT’S WHY I’M IN HELL TOO

**kogayne:** :O duets are OUR THING LANCE WTF :((((

**hunkerdunker:** fight me

**kogayne:** LET’S GO

**allurable:** okay, mom friend jumping in, no

**hunkerdunker:** i almost threatened to fight allura too but that would’ve been mean

**mattata:** you KIDS and your FIGHTING what’s going ON

**kogayne:** i’m fighting off disease

**kogayne:** lance was sick all weekend and made me come over and take care of him

**lanceylance:** and he did because he’s a good boyfriend :)

**kogayne:** oh i’m a good boyfriend but u won’t sing duets with me

**carrierpidgeon:** i feel a SONG COMING ON

**lanceylance:** do we have a PROBLEM

**lanceylance:** you got a BONE TO PICK

**lanceylance:** we’ve come so far, why now are you PULLING on my DICK

**takashmeoutside:** [long-suffering sigh]

**shayfromstatefarm:** what’s this, musical monday?

**carrierpidgeon:** can we make that a thing

**carrierpidgeon:** gratitude friday, musical monday

**lanceylance:** I’M A THEATRE KID, EVERY DAY IS A MUSICAL

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY

**kogayne:** i’d normally slap your face off

**lanceylance:** :O

**kogayne:** and everyone here could watch!

**allurable:** omfg

**kogayne:** BUT I’M FEELING NICE HERE’S SOME ADVICE LISTEN UP BEOTCH

**carrierpidgeon:** keith really just said “beotch” in the group chat

**hunkerdunker:** save it to the blackmail folder

**mattata:** I LIKE

**kogayne:** LOOKIN HOT BUYIN STUFF THEY CANNOT

**lanceylance:** i mean u do generally look hot

**carrierpidgeon:** blackmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail

**takashmeoutside:** now i wonder about how much sleep these kids got

**allurable:** THEY HAD ALL WEEKEND TO SLEEP, PLS TELL ME U ALL SLEPT

**mattata:** I LIKE

**kogayne:** DRINKIN HARD, MAXIN DAD’S CREDIT CARD

**takashmeoutside:** can’t tell if i should be relieved this is a song or if he’s using the song as a cover

**carrierpidgeon:** u just accepted ur role as dad without prompting

**takashmeoutside:** [sigh] i know

**mattata:** I LIKE

**kogayne:** SKIPPIN GYM SCARIN HER SCREWIN HIM

**carrierpidgeon:** who the fuck is her

**lanceylance:** i hope i’m him

**takashmeoutside:** i hate this group chat

**mattata:** I LIKE

**kogayne:** KILLER CLOTHES, KICKIN NERDS IN THE NOSE

**lanceylance:** babe /ur/ a nerd

**takashmeoutside:** pls for the love of all things holy stop singing heathers

**lanceylance:** weakling

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH ISN’T EVEN HEATHER CHANDLER

**takashmeoutside:** WE ALREADY SAID KEITH IS JD

**kogayne:** i am damaged, far too damaged

**lanceylance:** my heart when that song comes on

**takashmeoutside:** HE TRIED TO BLOW UP THE SCHOOL

**lanceylance:** a tragic love story

**takashmeoutside:** LANCE

**carrierpidgeon:** keith and lance are just some...pitiful children

**takashmeoutside:** NONONONONONO

**lanceylance:** LET’S SAVE THE PITIFUL CHILDREN

**carrierpidgeon:** WHOAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** LET’S SAVE THE PITIFUL CHILDREN

**mattata:** WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** LET’S TEACH THE PITIFUL CHILDREN WHO JUST HAVEN’T A CLUE

**kogayne:** JUST WHAT TO DO

**lanceylance:** HELP THEM TO HELP YOU

**takashmeoutside:** i’m disowning all of you

**mattata:** jeez shiro, let them be happy and

**takashmeoutside:** MATTHEW I SWEAR

**mattata:** SEIZE THE DAY

**lanceylance:** NOW IS THE TIME TO SEIZE THE DAY

**hunkerdunker:** NOW IS THE TIME TO SEIZE THE DAY!

**kogayne:** ANSWER THE CALL AND DON’T DELAY

**carrierpidgeon:** ANSWER THE CALL AND DON’T DELAY!

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...WRONGS WILL BE RIGHTED, IF WE’RE UNITED

**allurable:** >:D LET US SEEEEEIZE THE DAYYYYY

**takashmeoutside:** i hate each and every one of you

**lanceylance:** NOW LET ‘EM HEAR IT LOUD AND CLEAR

**hunkerdunker:** NOW LET ‘EM HEAR IT LOUD AND CLEAR!

**kogayne:** /LIKE IT OR NOT WE’RE DRAWING NEAR/

**carrierpidgeon:** /LIKE IT OR NOT WE’RE DRAWING NEAR!/

**shayfromstatefarm:** PROUD AND DEFIANT, WE’LL SLAY THE GIANT

**allurable:** JUDGMENT DAYYYYY IS HEEEEEEEERE

**takashmeoutside:** why am i friends with you people

 

**_lotoreal > shayfromstatefarm_ **

_ (1) link from  _ **_lotoreal_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** thanks!! btw u got the job we just needed that for legal reasons or something

**lotoreal:** oh

**lotoreal:** thank you

**shayfromstatefarm:** no problem!! u cool with starting today

**lotoreal:** um, sure

**shayfromstatefarm:** AWESOME when u get there this afternoon i’ll get u all set up, hunk will help u with training and stuff

**lotoreal:** thanks

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**dinezor:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**dinezor:** I JUST SNEEZED, FUCK YOU

**lanceylance:** THOUGHT U WEREN’T INTO THAT, BESIDES WE’RE BOTH TAKEN

**dinezor:** I WILL KILL YOU

**lanceylance:** FINALLY FREEDOM

**kogayne:** NO

**lanceylance:** IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** NO YOU WOULDNT LET ME

**lanceylance:** mmmm yeah you’re not going anywhere

**kogayne:** yeah so neither are you

**carrierpidgeon:** why are you being mushy like this so early

**lanceylance:** WE LOVE EACH OTHER

**kogayne:** i will defend my prince no matter the cost

**kogayne:** come near him and perish

**dinezor:** i’m probably gonna perish bc lance mcclain i swear if i get the flu you’ll rUE THIS DAY YOU’LL RUE IT

**lanceylance:** okay neville

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** welp i’m just gonna go jump off the school roof :))))

**kogayne:** okay, no,

**kogayne:** ...shit did u not get credit in calc

**lanceylance:** mISSED IT BY TWO POINTS I WANT TO DIE

**lanceylance:** or cry

**lanceylance:** both sounds nice :)))))

**kogayne:** you’re not allowed to die

**kogayne:** not on ur knight’s watch

**lanceylance:** i relieve u of ur duties

**kogayne:** haha yeah nice try  >:| 

**lanceylance:** why am i so fuckin g STUPID I MISSED IT BY /TWO POINTS/

**kogayne:** okay, ur /not/, calc is just a rough class, and ryner didn’t ever seem inclined to help you

**kogayne:** two, it’s not ur last chance for college credit

**kogayne:** there’s still the ap exam

**lanceylance:** FUCK I HAVE TO TAKE THE AP EXAM NOW

**kogayne:** relax, i’m taking it too

**lanceylance:** WHY, YOU DON’T NEED TO

**kogayne:** i was gonna anyway, the ap exam is easier to bullshit

**kogayne:** three, how unstable are u right now

**lanceylance:** i might break down crying if i breathe wrong

**kogayne:** shit

**kogayne:** meet me in the bathroom

**kogayne:** don’t even try putting up a fight, i’m leaving thace’s class now

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**kogayne:** SO I TALKED TO LANCE

**kogayne:** we need to work out the ap exam schedule

**kogayne:** what days are we out of school

**hunkerdunker:** lemme get the dates up on my phone hold on

**hunkerdunker:** okay so our psych exam is the afternoon exam the day after prom weekend

**shayfromstatefarm:** are u guys taking that

**kogayne:** well remember antok said the district is trying to bribe us into taking it by letting us skip a final if we take it

**kogayne:** i’m taking all of my exams

**hunkerdunker:** okay so psych is the afternoon after prom weekend, don’t be wiped out

**hunkerdunker:** lance, u taking the ap spanish exam

**lanceylance:** unfortunately

**hunkerdunker:** u miss the next day

**lanceylance:** damn am i the only one

**kogayne:** looks like it

**lanceylance:** :(

**kogayne:** shhh get the college credit

**hunkerdunker:** all of us are taking lit and physics, right? bc they’re back to back the next day

**lanceylance:** what the actual fuck

**kogayne:** yep

**shayfromstatefarm:** i propose we get lunch after

**kogayne:** i’m down

**hunkerdunker:** then we have a break before the last ones

**hunkerdunker:** calc is a week after the spanish exam, and then i have the french exam right after

**kogayne:** ew you have two days where you’ve got back-to-back

**hunkerdunker:** i know

**hunkerdunker:** but anyway that’s our schedule

**lanceylance:** hhhhnggg maybe i won’t take every exam

**lanceylance:** that’s so much money

**kogayne:** but if u don’t take them then the district is gonna make ur teachers make u take other stuff

**lanceylance:** fuck the district this shit is expensive

**lanceylance:** ur numbers aren’t down bc kids are lazy it’s bc we’re fried and we’re BROKE what do they WANT FROM US

**lanceylance:** hnnnnn im gonna just put the phone down i can’t do this

**kogayne:** :(

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m dying

**allurable:** understandable

**carrierpidgeon:** murder me

**allurable:** no

**lanceylance:** i’ll kill u if u kill me

**mattata:** okay, NO

**kogayne:** ^^^^

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s been a rough day for everyone

**lanceylance:** health is awful

**kogayne:** it’s not *awful* he’s just not in a good headspace

**lanceylance:** fucking fight me kogane pfv gterernthrtesfgh

**shayfromstatefarm:** we have the quiet health teacher, right

**allurable:** mmmm luxia?

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** and ladnok is next door

**allurable:** OHHHH

**takashmeoutside:** there’s still that gap between the wall and ceiling isn’t there

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep

**shayfromstatefarm:** someone asked to shut the door and luxia’s like “u can try, it won’t do anything tho”

**shayfromstatefarm:** she was right

**hunkerdunker:** literally why is ladnok so loud and why did i enjoy her freshman year

**takashmeoutside:** that’s just the way it goes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** and then we took a wellness assessment

**kogayne:** shiro what’s our family history with like, heart disease and stuff

**takashmeoutside:** good question, call ur doctor and ask bc i don’t know off the top of my head

**kogayne:** dammit shiro

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** anyway bell’s gonna ring soon, i’m gonna go

 

**_hunkerdunker > kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** what’s going on with lance

**hunkerdunker:** aside from the obvious

**hunkerdunker:** like, how is he right now

**kogayne:** sulking

**kogayne:** he looks like he might start crying, and he already had a mental breakdown fourth period

**hunkerdunker:** i should have shay take him off the schedule

**kogayne:** i’d agree but i wanna see how lance is at work first

**kogayne:** if he’s bad then i would have him get off early

**kogayne:** but maybe work will be good for him??

**kogayne:** ...maybe??

**hunkerdunker:** buddy,

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** he’s usually not snippy tho

**kogayne:** he’s pretty tense right now, so i feel like anything else might like

**kogayne:** boom

**kogayne:** everybody dies

**hunkerdunker:** is he actually mad at u

**kogayne:** he’s withdrawing i can tell u that much

**kogayne:** knowing him he’ll realize what he’s doing and feel really bad about it so i’m not holding it against him

**kogayne:** right now the only thing i wanna hold is /him/

**hunkerdunker:** that’s one of the softest things you’ve ever said

**kogayne:** yeah i know

**hunkerdunker:** alright welp see u at work

**kogayne:** yep

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** do we have cold medicine

**takashmeoutside:** jfc

**kogayne:** answer the question granola bar

**takashmeoutside:** yes, we have medicine

**takashmeoutside:** why, how are u feeling

**kogayne:** could be better

**kogayne:** i feel like mother nature punched me in the head, pidge feels like mother nature punched her in the uterus, u know the usual shenanigans

**takashmeoutside:** and how’s lance, now that he threatened to fight you in the group chat

**kogayne:** i’m gonna take him home and then i’m coming home

**takashmeoutside:** yikes

**kogayne:** we don’t need to spend every waking minute together

**takashmeoutside:** /keith/ you know what i mean

**kogayne:** he needs space

**kogayne:** i’m not letting him go to bed without talking this out but he’s suffocating right now

**kogayne:** u know how i get with sensory overload

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**kogayne:** that’s him trying to handle his emotions right now

**kogayne:** some shit happened in calc and he feels awful and he hasn’t had the time to deal with it

**takashmeoutside:** oh

**takashmeoutside:** okay

**kogayne:** i’ll be home soon

**kogayne:** what’s for dinner

**takashmeoutside:** i have dinosaur nuggets and fries in the freezer or i attempt to make fried chicken

**kogayne:** if i run to the store can we try making chicken piccata

**takashmeoutside:** last time we tried that we almost burned the house down

**kogayne:** FOURTH TIME’S THE CHARM

**takashmeoutside:** yeah sure

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m sorry

**kogayne:** i forgive u

**kogayne:** ur not stupid, u worked ur hardest and there’s still the ap exam

**kogayne:** you were close, i’m proud of u

**lanceylance:** i still feel like shit

**kogayne:** well ur not shit

**kogayne:** ur *the shit

**lanceylance:** ...okay that was cute

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** seriously

**kogayne:** ur doin ur best

**kogayne:** in twenty years when we’re carting our kids around to school and sports games or scholastic decathlons or whatever, this isn’t gonna matter

**kogayne:** no matter what happens i love u and i’m gonna be at ur side

**lanceylance:** i just want u to know u made me cry but in a good way

**kogayne:** i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you

**lanceylance:** keeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiith :(  <3333

**kogayne:** get some sleep starboy

**kogayne:** we’ve still got the rest of the week to get through

**lanceylance:** eW IT WAS ONLY MONDAY

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** u can make it to friday

**kogayne:** friday’s a half day, we can do whateeeeeeeeeeeeeever u want

**lanceylance:** even if that means just napping together

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** whatever u want

**kogayne:** nap, date, we get food and then watch vine compilations, go out somewhere, idc as long as you’re happy

**lanceylance:** hhhnnn i love you so much

**kogayne:** ily2

**kogayne:** now go get some sleep

**kogayne:** i’m picking us up in the morning

**lanceylance:** you’ve been driving us like all week

**kogayne:** idc

**kogayne:** good night  <3

**lanceylance:** night  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well i said i'd explain, here i am 
> 
> **if you don't wanna read this skip till u see bold again**
> 
> okay number one, it's quarter 3 which means schedules changed so already things in the school felt like...off. i couldn't place it everything just felt weird all day. 5th period rolls around and most of my friends did really well on their physics midterm...i mean, i got a C, but that's still not good, compared to like, Bs and As so that's when the Shittiness set in
> 
> 6th we go to health and the room is weird, i don't like it it bothers me, it's in a wing of the school i've never had class in until this year and it's...unsettling. 
> 
> and then i go to 7th period. i live in CT so our calc course is based out of uconn for ECE credit, and i didn't get credit for the course. i needed a 72 for a uconn grade. i got a 70. and i almost started crying right there. doesn't help that my hormones are all over the place.
> 
> on the bright side the drama club gets going again this week so???? 
> 
> **okay you can read again if u skipped**
> 
> idk how many chapters i'm gonna do this week, kinda wanna just crawl in a ditch and die, i wanna get chapter 23 of sgd finished (i think i'm halfway? maybe??) and i wanna write more oneshots, so
> 
> see ya whenever the next one is


	95. what even is this chapter (what's a plot)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot happens: there's a delayed opening; klance; pidge has issues (again); other stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we had a delayed opening today so i actually did my homework before i got to school, it was magical
> 
> everyone was caught off-guard bc apparently no one pays attention to the weather (i was sort of banking on one...my gamble worked)
> 
>  
> 
> **trigger warning for keith threatening to kill a person bc he's a Protective Older Brother**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i saw the delay text and screamed

**kogayne:** how are you this morning

**lanceylance:** better

**kogayne:** better how

**kogayne:** where were you yesterday and where are you now

**lanceylance:** uhhhh

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMM don’t kill me

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** i was at like, a 20 yesterday

**kogayne:** BABE

**lanceylance:** BUT NOW I’M AT LIKE 903

**kogayne:** you went off the scale by 903%

**lanceylance:** i meant 93

**kogayne:** but you’re okay now?

**kogayne:** u should take a mental health day

**lanceylance:** nope

**lanceylance:** shortened day

**lanceylance:** new day

**lanceylance:** i can do this

**kogayne:** if u get bad again pls go home

**lanceylance:** it’s a sHORTENED DAY THERE WOULD BE NO POINT

**lanceylance:** besides, u know what

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** we have a lab today

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** and the schedule gets kerfuckled

**kogayne:** kerfuckled

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** which means

**kogayne:** which means

**lanceylance:** you go to calc 3,

**kogayne:** OHHH

**lanceylance:** then i see ur beautiful face for lunch and 5th

**lanceylance:** then i see the devil for 4th

**lanceylance:** THEN I COME BACK AND SEE UR BEAUTIFUL FACE FOR OUR LAB

**kogayne:** ah

**kogayne:** so u get warned ahead of time, no surprises, and i can help u ahead of time so u walk in knowing what ur doing

**lanceylance:** eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexactly

**lanceylance:** and i get to see u

**lanceylance:** my beautiful boyfriend who shouldn’t have to put up with my shit

**kogayne:** i’ve put u through worse and u know it

**lanceylance:** mmm

**lanceylance:** but i love u so it’s okay

**kogayne:** whoa same

**lanceylance:** so now that we’re both awake at 6 AM and we don’t have to be in first period till nearly 10

**lanceylance:** can u come pick me up

**kogayne:** when

**lanceylance:** uhhh i’ve mostly just gotta get my shit together...20 minutes?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** u wanna come to dunkin with me or do u want me stop there before i get u

**lanceylance:** i’ll go with u

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** and then we stay at mine till we leave for school?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** thanks 

**kogayne:** i’ve got u just like i know u’ve got me

**kogayne:** we’re in this together

**kogayne:** hold my hand, we’re using the buddy system for life

**lanceylance:** u stole that from the internet

**kogayne:** yeah but u found it cute didn’t u

**lanceylance:** yeah :)

**lanceylance:** what did i do to deserve u

**kogayne:** antagonized me for several years

**lanceylance:** funny how that worked out

**lanceylance:** if u told me in 8th grade or freshman year that by my senior year i’d be dating /keith fucking kogane/ and planning to marry him, and i liked spending time with him, and we helped ground each other, i would’ve laughed in your face

**kogayne:** i probably would’ve fainted

**kogayne:** im glad we got to where we are

**lanceylance:** me too

**lanceylance:** i don’t know where i’d be without you

**kogayne:** me either

**kogayne:** okay go get ready so i can come get u 

**lanceylance:** okay

**lanceylance:** can u bring an extra sweatshirt

**kogayne:** are u that cold

**lanceylance:** no i just wanna wear one of ur sweatshirts

**kogayne:** :o OKAY

 

**_Team No Sleep_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Team No Sleep_ ** _ to  _ **_shrieking_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i already don’t like this what’s going on

**carrierpidgeon:** okAY so keith knows already but a little while ago some kid threatened to tell sherrie about my crush on her if i didn’t do his precalc homework for him

**kogayne:** oh no

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t remember who knows now but sherrie has a gf and she’s nice and impossible to hate and i hate that i can’t hate her but ANYWAY even regardless of the gf i’d be super freaked out if sherrie knew bc goodbye friendship

**carrierpidgeon:** like that’s so weird to come back from “i like u romantically” “oh uh...i don’t see u that way.” “o...oH THEN WE CAN JUST BE FRIENDS UHHH JUST KIDDINNNNNG HAHAHA...haaa….”

**carrierpidgeon:** SO

**carrierpidgeon:** i purposely sabotaged the kid, right

**carrierpidgeon:** and my precalc teacher just put in grades

**carrierpidgeon:** his grade went from an A- to a D+

**lanceylance:** tag urself

**carrierpidgeon:** so he threatened to expose me and also beat me up, so

**kogayne:** he what now

**lanceylance:** he what now

**hunkerdunker:** he what now

**shayfromstatefarm:** he what now

**kogayne:** where’s the punk

**carrierpidgeon:** so, i’m gonna lose my friendship with sherrie :) 

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m much less concerned about being beat up

**kogayne:** i’ll kick his ass

**carrierpidgeon:** see that’s why i’m less concerned with getting beat up

**mattata:** okay so then let’s focus on the real problem

**mattata:** how do we stop him from telling sherrie

**kogayne:** we kill him

**takashmeoutside:** murder is frowned upon at school

**kogayne:** HE THREATENED TO HURT PIDGE I DON’T CARE

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m with keith

**carrierpidgeon:** but honestly...i might just confess to sherrie

**kogayne:** WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

**carrierpidgeon:** if she’s gonna hear it it may as well come from me instead of some dipshit

**lanceylance:** okay but if the dipshit tells her and she reacts badly u can just be like “he was making that up”

**hunkerdunker:** ehhh

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah but then how weird is that, you still hang out knowing she doesn’t like u back and u have to settle with the crushing feeling of /knowing/ she doesn’t like u back

**hunkerdunker:** there’s gotta be a scenario where sherrie doesn’t find out

**kogayne:** all i’m saying is if we murder this kid, then sherrie doesn’t find out

**takashmeoutside:** MURDER IS NOT AN OPTION

 

**_allurable > carrierpidgeon_ **

**allurable:** how are u doing, pidge

**allurable:** ignore the group chat, talk to me

**carrierpidgeon:** i am going to lose my shit

**carrierpidgeon:** this is the first person i’ve gotten close to outside of our main gang AND IF SHE FINDS OUT THEN IT’S ALL OVER

**carrierpidgeon:** EVEN IF SHE DID LIKE ME, SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND, AND HER GIRLFRIEND IS NICE, I CAN’T RUIN THAT FOR HER

**carrierpidgeon:** AND IF SHE DOESN’T LIKE ME I CAN’T CONTINUE THE FRIENDSHIP AND MY REPUTATION IS RUINED

**allurable:** i understand

**allurable:** is there any way /you/ can think of to keep this boy quiet?

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m going to assume this question doesn’t involve murder

**allurable:** no murder

**carrierpidgeon:** not even a little bit

**allurable:** no

**carrierpidgeon:** fine

**carrierpidgeon:** i dunno

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t wanna cave and just do his homework

**allurable:** rat him out?

**carrierpidgeon:** if i rat him out then all bets are off

**carrierpidgeon:** then the truth gets out either way

**allurable:** there’s no way you can make him stay quiet?

**carrierpidgeon:** not that i can think of

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhh i don’t wanna tell sherrie

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna shoot myself into space and become ben kenobi

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s the only solution

**allurable:** why do all of you propose “shooting myself into space” as a viable option to escape a situation

**carrierpidgeon:** because it is

**allurable:** not really

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**kogayne:** if this kid ruins pidge’s life i will ruin his

**kogayne:** she’s shown me pictures of this kid it will take me NO TIME to track him down

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay, violence is BAD

**kogayne:** MMMM

**shayfromstatefarm:** SETTLE

**shayfromstatefarm:** we need a plan of action that doesn’t involve bodily harm to a sophomore

**kogayne:** the kid’s a junior, actually

**shayfromstatefarm:** wha

**shayfromstatefarm:** I KEEP FORGETTING PIDGE IS A YEAR AHEAD OF THE GAME

**lanceylance:** so all bets are off right

**lanceylance:** he’s a junior not a sophomore

**shayfromstatefarm:** nO

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHY DOES EVERYONE GO TO VIOLENCE FIRST

**kogayne:** it’s quicker and more effective

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO VIOLENCE

**kogayne:** fine

**hunkerdunker:** why is this what i open this group chat to

**hunkerdunker:** why can’t we just use it for physics like originally intended

**kogayne:** bc i don’t wanna talk about magnetism

**lanceylance:** boy are u a north pole? bc my south pole is feeling ATTRACTED

**shayfromstatefarm:** LANCE MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** :D LUNCH BELL I’LL SEE U SOON KEITH

**kogayne:** tyynhgrwnyntgdfs

**hunkerdunker:** this...this is not the kind of magnetism i wanted to talk about…

 

**_shrieking_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WELP

**carrierpidgeon:** I TOOK CARE OF THINGS AT LUNCH

**takashmeoutside:** ...you have lunch with Them

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT DID YOU ALL DO

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**takashmeoutside:** if i get a call from the school saying that keith is expelled i sWEAR

**kogayne:** boi i can’t sacrifice valedictorian as a second semester senior

**carrierpidgeon:** we sent hunk in

**hunkerdunker:** not against my will

**takashmeoutside:** ...is hunk in the office

**hunkerdunker:** :O WHAT KIND OF PERSON DO YOU TAKE ME FOR

**hunkerdunker:** we told the kid as seniors we have the power to ruin his life and if he said anything he’d be on everyone’s shit list, teachers and students alike

**hunkerdunker:** also he’s like 2 feet shorter than me

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s an exaggeration but yeah hunk is intimidating

**carrierpidgeon:** we also told this guy he’d never find someone if he did this bc we’d expose him as an asshole to the whole school but i feel like that threat wasn’t as intimidating

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ the guy said he wouldn’t say anything 

**kogayne:** probably because he saw me staring him down from nearby

**carrierpidgeon:** i love my friends

**allurable:** good to know

**allurable:** so the kid’s gonna stay in his lane?

**hunkerdunker:** if he doesn’t he will incur our wrath, and i’m sure we can get lotor’s squad in on it

**kogayne:** i mean, we /are/ the same people who managed to get a teacher fired, get a kid expelled, and oust the principal all in one semester

**mattata:** u guys got more done than my senior class did, and we had allura as our ally

**allurable:** the office *loved* me

**mattata:** they were terrified of her

**allurable:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** if u inflicted the wrath of an altea u were basically fucked

**lanceylance:** THEN WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG TO GET ZARKON OUT

**allurable:** bc the town changed over a decade and they forgot what the wrath of an altea felt like

**allurable:** gotta remind them more often and keep them on their toes

**shayfromstatefarm:** an inspiration

**lanceylance:** a truly iconic queen

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i can’t believe u were serious

**lanceylance:** a pizza party

**lanceylance:** REALLY

**kogayne:** i TOLD U

**lanceylance:** i feel weird partaking in this party when i didn’t get course credit

**kogayne:** LEAVE IT IN THE PAST EAT UR PIZZA

**kogayne:** UR NORMAL GRADE IS STILL A B- ISN’T IT

**lanceylance:** ...well yeAH but

**kogayne:** SHHH EAT THE PIZZA

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** I WILL COME TO RYNER’S ROOM AND SHOVE THAT PIZZA DOWN UR THROAT

**lanceylance:** … :O

**lanceylance:** >:)

**kogayne:** NO

**lanceylance:** CHECK SNAP BABE  >;D

**kogayne:** i really hate u sometimes

**lanceylance:** u love me

**kogayne:** yes i do

**lanceylance:** <333333 i miss u mulletman

**kogayne:** u literally just saw me last period

**kogayne:** ur gonna see me again in 20 minutes

**lanceylance:** I MISS U MULLETMAN

**kogayne:** ...yeah i miss u too

**lanceylance:** once we get back to physics i get to see u againnnn :D

**kogayne:** ur sappier than usual today

**lanceylance:** gotta make up for lost time yesterday

**lanceylance:** i’m in a good mood today LET ME LIVE KEITH

**kogayne:** OKAY OKAY

**kogayne:** see u soon

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m so excited for work tell me why i’m excited for work

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**shayfromstatefarm:** the aesthetic of there being snow on the ground while people walk into a cozy café?

**lanceylance:** yE PROBABLY

**lanceylance:** ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO OUR ASTRONOMY TEACHER JUST REMINDED ME

**mattata:** who’s “our”

**kogayne:** hello

**takashmeoutside:** did we expect anyone else

**lanceylance:** THAT THING

**lanceylance:** THE THING!!!

**lanceylance:** KEITH HELP ME OUT HERE

**kogayne:** super blue blood moon

**carrierpidgeon:** that sounds like a shitty fanfiction title

**kogayne:** “super blue blood moon” is a quest fanfic where the two main characters go on a quest and fall in love. but they’re in space.

**carrierpidgeon:** blood is red and red and blue means gay

**kogayne:** YO LANCE

**takashmeoutside:** i hate...i hate u all

**shayfromstatefarm:** plot twist: it’s a buddy-cop fanfic

**shayfromstatefarm:** blue blood

**allurable:** rtyujtretyteg u all need to collaboratively write that

**kogayne:** self-insert w me and lance or i’m not helping

**lanceylance:** :D :D :D OKAY BUT ANYWAY CAN WE ALL GET TOGETHER AND SEE THE MOON

**lanceylance:** GROUP GATHERING ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT

**lanceylance:** if no one agrees in the next five minutes i’m claiming keith for my own and the rest of u can figure things out for urselves

**carrierpidgeon:** haven’t u already claimed keith for ur own

**lanceylance:** okay yes but

**takashmeoutside:** wait did he propose for real today

**lanceylance:** boi it would’ve been all over social media in like .2 seconds if that happened

**kogayne:** smh i wish

**lanceylance:** i mean i can arrange something for next week

**carrierpidgeon:** what about ur promposal

**lanceylance:** SHHHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** what if i prompose first

**lanceylance:** U ALREADY GOT HOCO AND THE PROMISE RINGS 

**hunkerdunker:** didn’t he also get junior prom last year

**lanceylance:** oh yEAH YOU ROBBED ME OF MY JUNIOR PROMPOSAL

**lanceylance:** I GET PROM

**kogayne:** if u don’t impress me i gotta dump u

**lanceylance:** i will romance the shit out of u

**carrierpidgeon:** in other news yes i like stargazing let’s watch the fanfic moon

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m almost 16 if this thing doesn’t give me superpowers what’s the fuckin point

**hunkerdunker:** hate to break it to u but ur gonna be just as disappointed as u were when u were 11 and ur hogwarts letter didn’t come

**carrierpidgeon:** and how do u know i didn’t get one, what if /i/ rejected /hogwarts/

**hunkerdunker:** am i supposed to believe you’d choose to go to school in this shithole than at hogwarts

**carrierpidgeon:** HOGWARTS KIDS DON’T EVEN LEARN MATH

**carrierpidgeon:** ...but yeah u right

**hunkerdunker:** mm thought so

**mattata:** pidge would’ve been that muggleborn kid who introduced wifi to hogwarts with the aid of her cool older brother

**carrierpidgeon:** ...there’s like a 10 year age gap between us, we would’ve never had overlapping years

**mattata:** ...WHAT THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re old congratulations

**mattata:** SHIRO I’M OLD

**takashmeoutside:** SHUT UP WE’RE THE SAME AGE AND IF YOU’RE OLD THEN /I’M OLD/

**kogayne:** you’re old congratulations

**allurable:** hahahahah i’m not old

**lanceylance:** you’re a year younger than them

**allurable:** SHUT UP LANCE

**lanceylance:** :o :( ;-:

**kogayne:** shh it’s okay i’m here 

**kogayne:** [whips out sword] WHO HURT THE PRINCE

**allurable:** WHY ARE YOU TWO LIKE THIS

**kogayne:** I LOVE HIM

**lanceylance:** I LOVE HIM

**shayfromstatefarm:** and i’ve gotta put up with another few hours of them (¬_¬)

**hunkerdunker:** yep

**lanceylance:** u guys are no funnnn

**carrierpidgeon:** u people are INSUFFERABLE

**carrierpidgeon:** CAN U JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY SO WE CAN GET PAST THE PINING

**takashmeoutside:** i thought i was done hearing about their pining when they got together

**takashmeoutside:** so i don’t see how them getting married is gonna change things

**lanceylance:** i can’t wait to marry keith

**shayfromstatefarm:** that’s my cue gonna head to the café bye

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^ i’m gonna join her

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna mooch a ride off of hunk 

**lanceylance:** fuck u guys

  
**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**lotoreal:** never work with kogane and mcclain

**acxalutelynot:** what happened

**lotoreal:** you know how they are in school sometimes

**zethridofmyproblems:** “sometimes”

**acxalutelynot:** i think u mean “more often than not”

**lotoreal:** ...yes

**lotoreal:** they’re worse

**dinezor:** THAT’S SO CUTE THO

**dinezor:** THEY’RE IN LOVE LET THEM LIVE

**acxalutelynot:** yeah, i really can’t judge when i’m dating bubblypants over there

**sippinganartini:** how’s the job going otherwise

**lotoreal:** good, i think   
****

**lotoreal:** none of them seem opposed to the idea of me being their coworker

**lotoreal:** they seemed...welcoming, actually

**lotoreal:** and the atmosphere’s cozy

**lotoreal:** and shay might have said that...if any of you are looking for employment...seek her out

**dinezor:** OOOOOOOOOH I MIGHT 

**dinezor:** ya girl is broke and needs that holler holler cash dollar

**acxalutelynot:** never ever say that again

**dinezor:** HOLLA HOLLA CASH DOLLAAAAAAAAAAAA

**acxalutelynot:** why are u like this

**dinezor:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ because i can

**lotoreal:** that...grammatically didn’t make sense

**dinezor:** yeah but it DRAmatically made sense

**zethridofmyproblems:** what

**sippinganartini:** what

**lotoreal:** what

**acxalutelynot:** /ez/

**dinezor:** LET ME LIVE

 

**_shrieking_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i am WIPED OUT

**lanceylance:** I HAVE WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY

**shayfromstatefarm:** what alternate reality are we in

**takashmeoutside:** please go to sleep at a normal time

**kogayne:** we can’t, the senior superlative list just got posted

**takashmeoutside:** so why does that affect your sleep

**kogayne:** our phones are blowing up with tweets and snapchats and instagram posts of “vote me for ___”

**kogayne:** in which case, vote me and lance for cutest couple

**hunkerdunker:** uh, no, vote me and shay for cutest couple

**lanceylance:** fight us

**takashmeoutside:** NOT THIS AGAIN

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway vote me most likely to brighten your day

**kogayne:** yeah also vote me for most likely to survive the hunger games

**lanceylance:** if anyone votes me for biggest flirt i’ll fight, i haven’t flirted with anyone but keith since sophomore year and i sWEAR IF I WIN THAT CATEGORY

**kogayne:** lmfao

**hunkerdunker:** vote me for most likely to bright ur day for dudes ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** watch me get most talkative

**carrierpidgeon:** you do have a tendency to talk a lot

**lanceylance:** but YEAH ANYWAY vote me and keith for cutest couple that’s the important one!!!

**hunkerdunker:** shay and i will fight

**lanceylance:** BRING IT

**lanceylance:** IT’S A COMMON BAKER AND A PRINCESS VS A PRINCE AND HIS BADASS KNIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** and i, the hermit sorceress, turn all of you to stone

**carrierpidgeon:** the end

**lanceylance:** okay medusa

**allurable:** ...did we miss something

**kogayne:** it was another group chat

**allurable:** wow tell us how it really is

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**mattata:** shiro remember our senior superlatives

**takashmeoutside:** i actually won best nickname

**mattata:** for which nickname? we’ll never know

**takashmeoutside:** ...it was for “shiro”

**mattata:** pffft that’s what we wanted u to think

**takashmeoutside:** MATT

**allurable:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**allurable:** everyone in my grade voted me most likely to be president

**allurable:** still workin on it

**mattata:** i got “next bill gates”

**mattata:** lmfao i work at target

**takashmeoutside:** u still got time

**mattata:** mmm sure

**takashmeoutside:** anyway enough reminiscing

**takashmeoutside:** u kids have school tomorrow, GO TO SLEEP

**lanceylance:** DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

**kogayne:** also shiro i’m going to lance’s bye

**takashmeoutside:** bye

**takashmeoutside:** more dinosaur nuggets for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD A GOOD DAY TODAY IT WAS MAGICAL, ALL WE DID IN CALC WAS HAVE A "YAY THE UCONN PORTION OF THIS COURSE IS OVER" PARTY
> 
> also i've been meaning to work in senior superlatives for like 2 weeks, my class already voted...i won wittiest :P i really didn't think i'd win, i was going for wittiest or most creative, so to win wittiest? glad that's my reputation 
> 
> ANYWAY, granted i write a chapter tomorrow, we start gettin back into drama club shenanigans :)


	96. a mess of a chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is kind of all over the place: lance has an anxiety attack; drama club is back in action; other stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo this chapter is kind of all over the place, i'm tired, it's 3:47 AM as i'm posting this and we're _supposed_ to have a half day, but it's only the high schools, but there's this snow/rain system moving in so we might have a delay, but if we have a delay then we go for a delay schedule which means i go in late instead of getting out early, idk it's kind of a mess
> 
>  
> 
> **trigger warning for mention of anxiety attack + symptoms**

**_lanceylance > kogayne _ **

**lanceylance:** are you awake

**lanceylance:** pls answer

**lanceylance:** keith

**kogayne:** sorry what’s going on

**lanceylance:** u love me right

**kogayne:** yes??

**kogayne:** what happened

**lanceylance:** anxiety attack

**kogayne:** what’s happening right now?

**kogayne:** are you shaking?

**kogayne:** how’s your breathing?

**lanceylance:** i was shaking

**lanceylance:** not anymore

**lanceylance:** my breathing could be better

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** what’s going on in your head?

**lanceylance:** i just :))) really hate myself

**lanceylance:** do u ever just remember every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done and then remember how obnoxious you are and then just feel awful about yourself and wonder if everyone secretly hates u

**lanceylance:** and then start panicking

**lanceylance:** and then start feeling ridiculous for panicking and feeling even worse about yourself

**kogayne:** you’re okay

**kogayne:** no one hates you 

**kogayne:** ...okay well not /no one/ but no one important

**kogayne:** what’s done is done, in the past, can’t be changed

**lanceylance:** yeah i know tell that to my brain

**lanceylance:** i’m...hhhhhhhhh 

**lanceylance:** i don’t know what i am right now

**kogayne:** ur lance

**kogayne:** ur a smart boy who loves space and the ocean and ur family

**kogayne:** u make jokes all the time and ur always smiling even when it hurts and u try to see the best in people and ur patient 

**kogayne:** and ur my boyfriend/husband who i love very much

**lanceylance:** hhhhhhhhhhhh

**lanceylance:** i need to hear ur voice can we pls ft

**kogayne:** yeah

_ FaceTime with  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ and  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ : 01:13:45.7 _

 

**_Drama & Crew 2017_ **

**_madplax_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Drama & Crew 2017_ ** _ to  _ **_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** GOOD MORNING BITCHES IT’S DRAMA SEASON

**lanceylance:** boi it’s always drama season

**madplax:** it is too early for sass

**madplax:** ANYHOO

**lanceylance:** >:|

**madplax:** INFORMATIONAL MEETING FOR THE MUSICAL IS TODAY RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL IN THE AUDITORIUM

**madplax:** IT’S LIKE 100% CONFIRMED WE’RE DOING LITTLE MERMAID

**dinezor:** so u and lance are gonna be married by the end of the show right

**madplax:** WE HAVEN’T EVEN HAD AUDITIONS

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna break my no gambling resolution and start betting pools based on this

**carrierpidgeon:** ur gonna be ariel and lance is gonna be eric WE’RE ALL CALLING IT NOW

**kogayne:** if everyone in this chat agreed with u then who would u bet against

**carrierpidgeon:** the faithless heathens who never look at this chat or who aren’t in this chat

**lanceylance:** and how do u know i’m getting eric

**lanceylance:** there’s no way in hell i’m the only one auditioning for him

**lotoreal:** ^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** oho?

**shayfromstatefarm:** and how do we know plax is the only girl going for ariel

**carrierpidgeon:** are u going for ariel

**shayfromstatefarm:** no i’m going for ursula but that’s a longshot

**lanceylance:** long story short there are a lot of people in this club and it’s up in the air ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_blue boy bodyguards_ **

**hunkerdunker:** is it just me or is lance off in the drama chat

**kogayne:** he had an anxiety attack last night

**kogayne:** it wasn’t as bad as some others he’s had but it still wasn’t good

**kogayne:** yknow, bc it was an anxiety attack

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh no :(

**hunkerdunker:** why did he have an anxiety attack

**kogayne:** i ft’d him for like an hour and we really couldn’t pinpoint an /exact/ trigger

**kogayne:** he just started having some bad thoughts and it spiralled

**shayfromstatefarm:** about what

**kogayne:** self-worth

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** he’s not fully over it

**kogayne:** be nice

**kogayne:** or i have to kill u

 

**_shrieking_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i’m so tired

**mattata:** HI TIRED

**takashmeoutside:** pls,,, no

**mattata:** I’M DADDY

**carrierpidgeon:** i appreciated the joke till i read the last two letters

**kogayne:** wtf why are /u/ tired

**takashmeoutside:** head cold

**takashmeoutside:** thanks to u and lance

**allurable:** oh no not this again, didn’t we do this like a month ago

**hunkerdunker:** closer to 2 months ago

**takashmeoutside:** if i get the flu i’m calling the police, i don’t have time for a flu

**mattata:** ...it’s february

**mattata:** :O I FINALLY GET MY REVENGE FROM SENIOR YEAR

**mattata:** KARMA COMING TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS EIGHT YEARS LATER FUCKFACE

**takashmeoutside:** >:O I’M NOT SURE IF IT’S A FLU OR A COLD

**mattata:** I CAN DREAM

**takashmeoutside:** YOU /WANT/ ME TO GET THE FLU

**mattata:** YES

**takashmeoutside:** THIS IS ONE OF THE DEADLIEST STRAINS IN RECENT DECADES

**mattata:** ...I HOPE YOU GET A MILDER VERSION BUT I STILL HOPE YOU GET IT

**kogayne:** wow shiro what a loving supporting boyfriend you have

**mattata:** this is justice and you know it

**kogayne:** yeah i do

**allurable:** so what if shiro does get the flu, who’s taking care of him

**kogayne:** sike catch me with lance

**kogayne:** favorite boy in the universe

**kogayne:** the love of my fucking life

**mattata:** shiro refused to take care of me in senior year i will refuse to take care of him now

**allurable:** matt u gotta be the bigger person

**mattata:** 1\. that is physically impossible

**mattata:** 2\. don’t try and shirk your duties and pin them on me

**shayfromstatefarm:** why is this being debated

**shayfromstatefarm:** everyone here knows both of u will cave and dote on him

**kogayne:** gthhreghtnyrge get em shay

**carrierpidgeon:** did...did u just say “get em shay”

**carrierpidgeon:** WHO /ARE/ YOU

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** i went to bed early last night

**takashmeoutside:** define early

**kogayne:** at 3 instead of 4

**allurable:** THAT’S STILL NOT HEALTHY

**kogayne:** but i feel rested today

**lanceylance:** u almost overslept this morning

**kogayne:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**lanceylance:** i literally had to drag u out of bed bc u fell back asleep

**takashmeoutside:** yeah i found it weird that lance was driving u two today after you’d been driving all week

**kogayne:** LANCE UR EXPOSING ME HERE

**lanceylance:** u know i had to do it to em

 

 ** _carrierpidgeon_** _added_ ** _kogayne_** _and_ ** _lanceylance_** _to_ ** _trauma trio_**

**carrierpidgeon:** hey fuckers

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** what do u mean by fuckers

**carrierpidgeon:** rtyherwfhtgr general term

**carrierpidgeon:** i gotta go back to therapy this saturday for a check-in

**carrierpidgeon:** do u guys wanna come with me

**carrierpidgeon:** and do like, a three-way session, or a back-to-back thing, orrrrr

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m not super in need at the moment, i can do a joint session

**lanceylance:** can i do my own after urs

**carrierpidgeon:** ye i’ll email her

**carrierpidgeon:** but you’ll both go?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**kogayne:** yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** and now, while we have our trauma chat

**carrierpidgeon:** what’s going on, meme boi

**lanceylance:** i’m okay today, i guess

**lanceylance:** last night just...overthinking, you know

**lanceylance:** irrational thoughts my brain wouldn’t process at midnight

**lanceylance:** ...people don’t hate me and just pretend to like me...right?

**carrierpidgeon:** not to my knowledge

**carrierpidgeon:** ur a cool guy and loyal as hell idk why anyone would hate u

**carrierpidgeon:** well i can name some people but they’re assholes so i won’t

**kogayne:** everyone i ever come across just talks about how cool u are whenever i bring u up

**kogayne:** which is a lot, for the record

**carrierpidgeon:** whipped

**kogayne:** i know

**lanceylance:** <333

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** TELL ME WHY THE FUCK I JUST RAN INTO NYMA IN THE LUNCH LINE

**lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK 

**shayfromstatefarm:** she probably had a half-year class this period and when she got her new class her lunch shift changed

**kogayne:** BUT ARE YOU OKAY

**lanceylance:** SHE TRIED TO TALK TO ME AND SHE GOT PISSY WHEN SHE REALIZED I WAS HAVING NONE OF IT

**lanceylance:** SHE’S LIKE “OH YEAH WELL WHAT HAPPENED A COUPLE MONTHS AGO WAS PETTY...WE SHOULD PUT IT BEHIND US” LIKE NO I THINK THE FUCK NOT YOU WERE TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY MENTAL ISSUES

**kogayne:** MMMM AS SOON AS I GET MY SANDWICH I’M COMIN

**kogayne:** BOYFRIEND TO THE RESCUE

**lanceylance:** I MEAN SHE’S GONE, I’M AT THE LUNCH TABLE

**kogayne:** BOYFRIEND TO THE RESCUE I COME ARMED WITH HUGS

**carrierpidgeon:** [long sigh] [looks into the camera like i’m on the office]

**lanceylance:** let him love me, i love my clingy koala boyfriend

**shayfromstatefarm:** cyoot

**lanceylance:** thanks shay u and hunk are pretty adorable too

**hunkerdunker:** aw thanks man we try

**allurable:** every time i open this group chat there’s A) screaming B) drama or C) klance 

**allurable:** and i, for one, am not disappointed

**lanceylance:** allura enabling us 2kforever

**allurable:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** why do u let them do this

**allurable:** i don’t see u stopping me

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t

**takashmeoutside:** i am weak

**allurable:** yep mhm

**mattata:** i’m not, fuckin try me

_ (1) video from  _ **_allurable_ **

**mattata:** what  thrw fcuk

**shayfromstatefarm:** and with a single hair flip, allura altea eliminated matthew holt from this plane of existence

**mattata:** allura why did u not go into modeling

**allurable:** justice

**allurable:** and now, teaching the kids about JUSTICE

**allurable:** besides if i ever went into modeling and then decided to teacher after u KNOW some shitface would find some even slightly risque photos and send them to the school district like “nOPE CAN’T HAVE HER TEACHING LOOK AT THESE SHE’S A TERRIBLE INFLUENCE OH NO BAD BAD BAD”

**carrierpidgeon:** smh i wish u were wrong

**lanceylance:** “decided to teacher”

**allurable:** hush 

**lanceylance:** no

**allurable:** or even worse: i wanna teach at the high school level. my /students/ find the photos and hold them against me

**allurable:** can u imagine the nightmare scenario, no thanks

**allurable:** if u can do that then more power to u but i don’t wanna

**shayfromstatefarm:** [sigh] why is america the way it is

**kogayne:** freedom™

**lanceylance:** RTHMREWGTYJHRGETYH

**mattata:** meanwhile if shiro went into modeling and then teaching he’d get news articles written about him

**carrierpidgeon:** MMM WHERE IS THE FUCKIN LIE

**hunkerdunker:** “meet the model who’s making a difference”

**kogayne:** plot twist: shiro goes into modeling so they google him and find his old youtube account

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**kogayne:** SUP GUYS TAKASHI SHIROGAMER HERE

**takashmeoutside:** SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH WE AGREED NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT

**kogayne:** UH NO YOU AND /MATT/ AGREED

**mattata:** AND MATT KEPT HIS AGREEMENT

**kogayne:** AND MATT APPARENTLY SPEAKS IN THE THIRD PERSON NOW

**mattata:** MATT’S A RIOT, THANKS

**carrierpidgeon:** did takashi shirogamer play minecraft

**takashmeoutside:** i really hate this group chat

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** also yes of course he did, minecraft was peak youtube gaming

**kogayne:** if u weren’t a minecraft youtuber /was there even a point/

**lanceylance:** haha...wILD MAN…

**hunkerdunker:** ...FGHJMRFEGHTRGEFEGHNFDS

**kogayne:** wait

**allurable:** LANCE

**hunkerdunker:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**lanceylance:** hahahaha...HA….HAAAAAaaaaaaaa hi shiro welcome to the minecraft club

**carrierpidgeon:** lance has a youtube channel i didn’t know about?

**lanceylance:** most of my videos are unlisted but yeah

**kogayne:** moST? i’ve only seen the one

**lanceylance:** all of my gaming videos except for like, 2 are unlisted

**lanceylance:** they’re pretty crappy

**lanceylance:** it was a thing i did mostly freshman year and they’re...yikies

**carrierpidgeon:** are there any other secret minecraft youtubers we need to know about

**mattata:** i came pretty close

**mattata:** but i was being a good friend by not presenting shiro with competition

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah mhm i’m /sure/ that’s the reason

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m gonna regret asking but what other reason would there have been

**carrierpidgeon:** matt can’t narrate a let’s play for shit, it just devolves into intense staring

**carrierpidgeon:** he would forget he had a camera on

**carrierpidgeon:** and then forget he was even recording anything

**carrierpidgeon:** so many wasted batteries

**hunkerdunker:** batteries, you say? as in, the ones that carry voltage? as in, the ones that generate a current when you divide the voltage by the resistance? 

**lanceylance:** NO SHUT UP DO NOT BRING CIRCUITS INTO THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** here wanna have harry potter discourse instead

**carrierpidgeon:** the new fantastic beasts movie won’t address dumbledore being gay bc “fans already know”

**kogayne:** WHEN DO I GET MY EXPLICIT VALIDATION ON THE PAGE OR ON THE SCREEN I AM SICK OF SUBTEXT OR RETCONS OR AUTHORS CONFIRMING OUTSIDE OF CANON

**kogayne:** WHERE ARE MY GAY CHARACTERS IT IS 20GAYTEEN

**carrierpidgeon:** destined to live on ffn and ao3, apparently

**lanceylance:** gonna write a book called larry trotter and the warlock’s scone and it’s gonna be a gay wizard coffee shop au that’s it

**allurable:** i would read it

**takashmeoutside:** ditto

**mattata:** GIVE IT TO ME

**kogayne:** lance that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said

**lanceylance:** i do my best

 

**_shrieking_ **

**hunkerdunker:** holy shit there were so many kids at that meeting

**hunkerdunker:** auditions are lookin ROUGH

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m still willing to put money on lance as eric and plax as ariel and you 100% have permission to hold this text against me if i’m wrong but i’m not gonna be wrong

**shayfromstatefarm:** screenshotted

**kogayne:** lance was the most talented boy in the room sorry i don’t make the rules

**hunkerdunker:** >:O

**kogayne:** no offence

**hunkerdunker:** ...yeah i wasn’t gonna go for eric anyway so 

**lanceylance:** who are u going for

**hunkerdunker:** triton

**lanceylance:** YES HUNK GET EM

**lanceylance:** GO BEST FRIEND THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay good for both of you but on the subject of the crowd

**shayfromstatefarm:** how many were /crew/ kids

**kogayne:** had to be at least half

**carrierpidgeon:** we crew kids are quite popular

**mattata:** thanks for carrying on me and shiro’s legacy

**allurable:** >:P 

**allurable:** lance, hunk, shay, thank u for being my successors

**shayfromstatefarm:** we gotchu

**kogayne:** yeah, after u sTOLE HUNK FROM CREW

**lanceylance:** [jumps on hunk] [hisses] my best friend, get ur own

**hunkerdunker:** what is happening, why are u on my head

**takashmeoutside:** he didn’t say he was on ur head

**lanceylance:** didn’t have to, he knew exactly what i was envisioning

**lanceylance:** BC WE’RE BEST FRIENDS

**hunkerdunker:** after 13 years with him i can tell what he’s thinking almost any time

**lanceylance:** WHAT AM I THINKING RIGHT NOW

**hunkerdunker:** how much u want to nap

**lanceylance:** DAMN RIGHT

**lanceylance:** keith i’m staying at ur house

**kogayne:** “hunk is my best friend ever get ur own!! oh also keith i’m coming over”

**carrierpidgeon:** DRAG HIM

**lanceylance:** fight me

**kogayne:** bet my mouth is stronger than urs

**takashmeoutside:** matt i’m coming over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *opinions on the modeling/teaching double standards thing are both my own and what i've seen on the internet and seen in my own school  
> **opinions on the fantastic beasts thing are my own
> 
> you have to admit, at some point all of us watched a minecraft youtuber, wanted to be a minecraft youtuber, or were a minecraft youtuber. or were some combination of those three. it's a fact of life.
> 
> icymi: new fic request: **[so two paladins get stuck on a compromised ship](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13531473)** : fic request for [nerdypants](http://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdypants/works): cryopod malfunction: lance breaks his arm and shiro gets a concussion while the cryopods are down. they're sentenced to bed rest, and are inside the castle when it gets infiltrated by galra soldiers. (a whole lotta lance fuckery, i love him)
> 
> anyway time for bed byeeeeee


	97. a casual happy monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent friday-sunday chapters  
> friday: half day. klance is soft, probably.  
> saturday: the klance/cryptkids/meme team trio go to therapy  
> sunday: everyone's chillin
> 
> monday summary: nobody's having a breakdown what more could u want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> taking a break to step back and work on other fanfics was refreshing, i'm gonna do it more often
> 
> also do u know how many yearbook spreads i've had to do additional edits on bc people are morons
> 
> i'm basically the only person my teacher trusts to make the edits, if i'd taken yearbook last year i'd probably be head editor this year, tragic
> 
> anyway read on

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** TODAY’S THE DAY

**lanceylance:** SENIOR SUPERLATIVE VOTING OPENS

**takashmeoutside:** and how is this relevant to this group chat

**lanceylance:** FUCK I OPENED THE WRONG GROUP CHAT

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**lanceylance:** TODAY’S THE DAY

**lanceylance:** SENIOR SUPERLATIVE VOTING OPENS

**lanceylance:** VOTE YA BOY FOR EVERYONE’S FRIEND

**lanceylance:** AND VOTE YA BOYS FOR CUTEST COUPLE

**madplax:** so u and hunk right

**kogayne:** plax i will fight

**madplax:** :O we just rhymed

**hunkerdunker:** NO, WE ARE NOT DOING RHYMES AGAIN, I HAVE SEEN HELL

**madplax:** we’ve never done rhymes in this group chat

**hunkerdunker:** OH NO, NOT IN THIS GROUP CHAT, BUT IN ANOTHER ONE

**kogayne:** yeah i vote we don’t do this rhyme thing again

**lanceylance:** OH /YOU/ VOTE WE DON’T DO IT MR “LOCKS HIS BOYFRIEND OUT OF HIS HOUSE IN 40 DEGREE WEATHER”

**lotoreal:** ...what did we miss

**shayfromstatefarm:** hell

**dinezor:** ...yOU MAKE THIS SMALL APARTMENT WE SHARE A /HELL/

**hunkerdunker:** how many times are we gonna do this

**lanceylance:** SO DO YOU, THAT’S WHY I’M IN HELL TOO

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**kogayne:** STOP DOING DUETS WITHOUT ME I AM /LONELY/ OVER HERE

**lanceylance:** BOI I’M SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU

**lotoreal:** why are people in relationships so strange

**lanceylance:** it’s called love

**kogayne:** ^^^

**floronawiththecorona:** hey lance what if i voted u biggest flirt

**lanceylance:** i will fight

**kogayne:** i will also fight

**lanceylance:** i haven’t done any flirting with anyone but keith since sophomore year, i am faithful thank you

**lanceylance:** i reALLY WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP CONSIDERING ME A pfv fiegebgf fUCKIN FLIRT IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS

**kogayne:** yeah i wish people would too

**kogayne:** stop implying my boyf isn’t a loyal hoe, the most loyal hoe i know

**floronawiththecorona:** ...i see, my apologies

**hunkerdunker:** anyway vote me for most likely to brighten ur day for the dude bracket

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^ vote me for girls

**madplax:** so we’re doing this on a gender binary

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep

**madplax:** mmmmm :/

**lanceylance:** idk why it can’t just be the top two people but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** also vote me and hunk for cutest couple, not klance

**dinezor:** ACTUALLY vote me and ax for cutest couple

**kogayne:** uhh no, me and lance

**dinezor:** FIGHT ME

**kogayne:** SAY I WON’T

**carrierpidgeon:** i love the smell of fighting first thing in the morning

**lotoreal:** why is the first reaction of everyone in this group chat fighting, no matter the situation

**lanceylance:** gotta stay on ur toes

**lanceylance:** be prepared for ANYTHING

**madplax:** ur barely ever prepared for calc

**lanceylance:** SQUARE UP

**lotoreal:** i rest my case

**madplax:** u and me, in the parking lot immediately after 7th

**lanceylance:** nope sorry i gotta go to work after 7th

**madplax:** i will show up to the café and fight u there

**madplax:** who’s on the schedule

**madplax:** which one of ur coworkers won’t stop me

**lanceylance:** SHAYYYYYYYYYY who else is on today

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith, lotor, and me

**madplax:** well FUCK i know keith won’t let me fight 

**kogayne:** i volunteer to fight in lance’s place

**madplax:** no i’m fighting lance he’s the one who initiated the fight

**shayfromstatefarm:** no one is fighting anyone in the café or on the premises, i will call up rax to kick u out

**madplax:** dammit

**madplax:** so now that i’ve threatened to fight lance there’s no chance of me getting a job there

**shayfromstatefarm:** u people are desperate for jobs jeez louise

**madplax:** WELL IN THIS ECONOMY

**shayfromstatefarm:** good thing we’ve got a few more spots open

_ (1) link from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** fill this out asap happy hunger games everyone

**madplax:** i will fight anyone who tries to take this job from me

**dinezor:** AX HURRY FILL IT OUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** lmfao

_ (1) gif from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**hunkerdunker:** bgrberwfgrefgb

**lanceylance:** HAPPY HUNGER GAMES

**lanceylance:** have fun fighting over who gets the job i’m already employed and my regulars love me

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s true, he has a natural charm

**kogayne:** he really does

**kogayne:** he’s such a charmer that in order to win me over he pretended to hate me for a few years

**lanceylance:** yeah but i got u in the end, so it WORKED

**dinezor:** WHIPPED

**acxalutelynot:** so are u

**dinezor:** :P

**floronawiththecorona:** are y’all done blowing up me phone

**zethridofmyproblems:** “me phone” what are u, a pirate

**floronawiththecorona:** only when it comes to music and movies

**madplax:** sometimes i forget that illegally downloading things is...illegal

**lanceylance:** ...oh my god you’re right

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry but that’s not what “me phone” reminded me of

**zethridofmyproblems:** what did it remind u of then

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m in me mums caaaah, broom broom

**hunkerdunker:** get out me cahhh

**carrierpidgeon:** aww

**lanceylance:** pidge just changed the subject to distract from the fact that she’s probably got more illegal downloads than any of us

**carrierpidgeon:** shut up lance

**lanceylance:** make me

**carrierpidgeon:** keith make ur boyfriend shut up for me

**kogayne:** :) gladly

**lanceylance:** wHA 

**lanceylance:** OH

**lanceylance:** oh  >:)

**madplax:** sometimes i hate this group chat but we need this group chat

**floronawiththecorona:** remove them

**lanceylance:** okay i know one is me but who’s the other

**madplax:** take a wild guess

**kogayne:** hello

**madplax:** ding ding ding we have a winner

**lanceylance:** well if we go down, we go down together

**kogayne:** we’re going down swinging

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**kogayne:** AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET

**hunkerdunker:** aaaaaaaaand emo keith returns

**kogayne:** emo keith never left

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith never admits his emo-ness in a school group chat, who are you and where’s the real keith

**kogayne:** new year new me

**lotoreal:** it’s february

**kogayne:** january is the free trial month

**carrierpidgeon:** are we sure lance and keith aren’t playing “let’s see how long it takes them to figure out lance has keith’s phone”

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** nope, i’m just in a really good mood today

**madplax:** mmmhmmmmmmm

**kogayne:** why do u sound skeptical

**madplax:** bc i am

**lanceylance:** boi

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean, for anyone who’s not in keith’s immediate circle, skepticism is fair

**kogayne:** but i’m in a great mood

**lanceylance:** can confirm, he’s smiley and soft today and i am HERE FOR IT

**madplax:** you would be

**lanceylance:** ummm duh i care about his health and well-being

**shayfromstatefarm:** LET THEM BE SOFT

**madplax:** absolutely not

**acxalutelynot:** username

**dinezor:** TEAM SOFT KLANCE

**acxalutelynot:** are u fucking kidding me

**dinezor:** :P :)

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** lmfao can someone tell me why i’m about as jittery as a chihuahua

**kogayne:** ur not having an attack, are u???

**lanceylance:** keith buddy pal novio dearest of mine

**lanceylance:** we all know if i was having an attack i would not be texting the group chat

**lanceylance:** i, for whatever reason, am just seriously jittery

**hunkerdunker:** [long sigh] did you eat today

**lanceylance:** YEAH I DID

**hunkerdunker:** a decent amount

**lanceylance:** ...probably not

**lanceylance:** i think i’m like 75% caffeine right now

**hunkerdunker:** bingo

**kogayne:** do u not carry food with u

**lanceylance:** not always

**lanceylance:** do u 

**kogayne:** uh duh that’s survival 101

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^ always have food on hand in case of emergency

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** wait up near the stairwell on ur way to math, i’m giving u food bc honestly lance what the fuck

**lanceylance:** aw ur cute when ur concerned

**kogayne:** do nOT

**kogayne:** TAKE BETTER CARE OF URSELF DAMMIT

**lanceylance:** ummmmmmmmmm ur one to talk

**kogayne:** shh i am TRYING

**lanceylance:** okay so if u help me i’ll help u deal

**kogayne:** haven’t we made this deal before

**lanceylance:** we made a lot of deals idk

**kogayne:** isn’t this part of the marriage deal, mutual support n shit

**lanceylance:** i thought that was already in the boyfriend deal

**kogayne:** upgrade

**lanceylance:** sure why not ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** okay cool so now that that’s settled LET ME YELL AT YOU

**kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU NOT TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

**lanceylance:** I’M USUALLY GOOD

**kogayne:** IS SOMETHING GOING ON

**lanceylance:** NO I’M OKAY I JUST HAPPENED TO CONSUME MORE CAFFEINE THAN USUAL THIS MORNING

**lanceylance:** i downed most of my coffee by second period, i usually still have half left by lunch but today that was not the case

**kogayne:** welp, there it is, the reason you’re jittery

**lanceylance:** KEITH I JUST THOUGHT OF ANOTHER REASON I COULD BE JITTERY

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** AUDITIONS

**kogayne:** those aren’t till tomorrow u have time

**lanceylance:** WHAT IF I FUCK UP, WHAT IF I DO SO POORLY THAT I’M LIKE, FISH NUMBER THREE OR SOMETHING

**kogayne:** the little kids are gonna be fish, first of all

**kogayne:** second of all, you’re a senior who’s had leads before

**kogayne:** and you’re probably one of the few guys good enough to do eric

**lanceylance:** BUT WHAT IF

**kogayne:** nope, no what if, don’t worry about a scenario that’s not going to come true

**lanceylance:** WHY ARE U SO NONCHALANT ABOUT THIS

**kogayne:** bc ur more than capable and i know that

**kogayne:** also what kind of granola bar do u want

**lanceylance:** HOW DO WE GO FROM AUDITIONS TO GRANOLA BARS

**kogayne:** it’s called “we had other priorities and got sidetracked” now do u want apple crumble or peanut butter

**lanceylance:** chewy nut butter

**kogayne:** after matt called shiro nut butter bar i immediately stopped buying those

**lanceylance:** BUT THEY WERE SO GOOD THEY WERE SNICKERDOODLE

**kogayne:** tragic do u want the other butter

**lanceylance:** yes

**kogayne:** tbh ur starting to rub off on me way too much

**lanceylance:** i can never rub off on u too much

**kogayne:** yes u can i’m starting to think exclusively in vine references

**lanceylance:** MY MASTER PLAN IS WORKING, PIDGE WILL BE PLEASED

**lanceylance:** why what vine when what

**kogayne:** the sticky nut juice vine

**lanceylance:** ERTYJREWTHYHRGETYT KEITH NOOOO XD

**kogayne:** ...did you just

**lanceylance:** FUCK GJFUCKF GUFICK NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW

 

**_shrieking_ **

**kogayne:** GUYS

**lanceylance:** NO

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** SHUT UP KEITH

**kogayne:** IS THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER

**lanceylance:** NO

**lanceylance:** WAIT

**lanceylance:** DAMMIT KOGANE

**kogayne:** also he just unironically used XD in a conversation with me

**lanceylance:** ur dead to me

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean he’s a furry, he’s a memelord, this was to be expected sooner or later

**lanceylance:** I AM NOT A FURRY I AM A REFORMED FURRY

**mattata:** so u admit u were a furry once

**lanceylance:** YES BUT THAT WAS IN THE /PAST/ WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS

**allurable:** that’s okay, matt’s still a weeb and we still love him

**takashmeoutside:** and keith is still emo

**kogayne:** :P

**shayfromstatefarm:** didn’t we also expose pidge and hunk as furries

**carrierpidgeon:** dammit i was hoping you people would forget about that

**shayfromstatefarm:** no forgetting, only regretting

**hunkerdunker:** #deep

**carrierpidgeon:** #deep #quote #deepquote #inspirational #inspirationalquote #inspiration #dailyinspiration #l4l #likeforlike #like4like #f4f #follow4follow #followforfollow #instalike #insta #instagram #instaquote 

**kogayne:** hey do u take constructive criticism

**carrierpidgeon:** no that text was perfect

**allurable:** there’s a girl in my night class i follow on instagram who does fitness posts and she tags like that

**takashmeoutside:** i know at least 5 auto junkies who tag like that

**kogayne:** does anyone actually go into those tags

**kogayne:** what are their function

**hunkerdunker:** i think they’re generic tags?? like when u start ig??? idk

**kogayne:** welp

**lanceylance:** :O there’s the BELL i’ll see u soon keith darling dearest

**carrierpidgeon:** do u ever just want to fight two people

**allurable:** [glances at my boyfriends] uhhhh

**mattata:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** ALLURA

**allurable:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no comment

**mattata:** fight me

**allurable:** :)

**mattata:** u just played me didn’t u

**allurable:** :) :) :) i love uuuu

**carrierpidgeon:** correction, i want to fight four people

**takashmeoutside:** :(

**carrierpidgeon:** FIVE, I WANT TO FIGHT FIVE PEOPLE

**takashmeoutside:** :)

**carrierpidgeon:** IS THERE ANYONE ELSE GOING ON MY SHIT LIST

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk and i respectfully decline

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** i stopped to get food from keith and give him a kiss for .5 seconds and ladnok passed us and yelled at us

**allurable:** ladnok still yells at students for sucking face in the hallway?

**mattata:** did we ever expect her to change

**lanceylance:** “KOGANE! MCCLAIN! GET TO CLASS, THIS IS A PUBLIC SETTING!”

**mattata:** erytjherwrhtyrefwgf

**carrierpidgeon:** disgusting™

**lanceylance:** IT WAS A PECK IT WASN’T EVEN ANYTHING SERIOUS

**kogayne:** ^^^^^^!!!!

**kogayne:** i just wanted to make sure lance was being healthy smh as a health teacher she should be ashamed

**takashmeoutside:** i dare u to tell luxia about this and see if she ever brings it up to ladnok

**kogayne:** say i won’t

**carrierpidgeon:** u won’t

**kogayne:** i’m gonna do the thing

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** wanna hear a tragedy

**kogayne:** yeah sure

**shayfromstatefarm:** guidance finally gave me and hunk friday study halls

**kogayne:** oh u mean after the disaster that was last friday, when u and hunk were trapped in guidance all period while lance and i got to chill out

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah but get this: we don’t have luxia

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** U MEAN I CAN’T SEE HUNK’S BEAUTIFUL FACE FRIDAYS DURING 6TH, I AM DEPRIVED ONE MORE PERIOD OF MY BEST FRIEND

**hunkerdunker:** bro

**lanceylance:** bro :(

**hunkerdunker:** broooo :(

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith why are we dating them again

**kogayne:** i ask myself that question every day

**lanceylance:** mmmhmmmmmmm sure u do

**lanceylance:** so if ur not with luxia where are u

**shayfromstatefarm:** with one of the spanish teachers

**lanceylance:** THAT’S AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WING

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i know

**lanceylance:** what if me and keith switch into that one

**shayfromstatefarm:** honestly don’t, i looked at the roster and i hate half of the kids in the study hall

**kogayne:** but u don’t hate anyone

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i know, somehow everyone i hate is in that study hall

**lanceylance:** wait

**lanceylance:** WAIT

**lanceylance:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT ARE YOU IMPLYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE IMPLYING

**shayfromstatefarm:** :’)

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’re in study hall with us

**kogayne:** yeah fuck that i’m sticking with luxia’s study hall

**lanceylance:** yeah sorry shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s okay i’ve got hunk and it’s not like we’re inclined to talk much anyway

**hunkerdunker:** true

**hunkerdunker:** who knows, maybe now that we’re all split up we can actually get homework done, instead of wasting the period memeing

**lanceylance:** u loved our meme sessions

**hunkerdunker:** i did

**hunkerdunker:** but this is for the best

**lanceylance:** THIS CLASSROOM’S NOT THE SAME, WITHOUT YOUUUUUUU

**kogayne:** okay but anyway speak of the devils

**kogayne:** did we tell u guys about nyma

**hunkerdunker:** don’t think so

**lanceylance:** she drunk-texted like...a week and a half ago? two weeks?

**lanceylance:** and she was cussing me out but then she said either “i still love you” or “i still loved you” but her typing was all fucked up so i couldn’t tell

**kogayne:** so we asked rolo to check on her and next thing u know they broke up

**hunkerdunker:** ew what the fuck

**hunkerdunker:** so what, has she made a move yet

**lanceylance:** no

**kogayne:** you’d think by now they’d know to stay away

**kogayne:** hey lance permission to be possessive

**lanceylance:** do it

**kogayne:** lance is mine and anyone who thinks otherwise can get fucked

**shayfromstatefarm:** well they’re both in our study hall so this should be interesting

**shayfromstatefarm:** will one switch, will they get back together, will they both stubbornly refuse to leave, will they ignore each other completely

**lanceylance:** lemme know if u hear either of them talk shit, especially about keith bc i’ll fuckin fight

**hunkerdunker:** trust me i’ll be fighting them before u can even know about it

**lanceylance:** thank u best friend of mine

 

**_shrieking_ **

**kogayne:** so u guys wanna hear a story

**takashmeoutside:** oh no

**kogayne:** earlier in the drama chat lance challenged plax to a fight and she wanted to take him up on it

**allurable:** i can’t see this ending well

**kogayne:** and so she actually showed up to bb to fight him

**kogayne:** BUT

**takashmeoutside:** there’s always a but

**mattata:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**kogayne:** shay said they couldn’t fight on bb property or else she’d get rax to kick them out

**kogayne:** so they had a thumb war in the middle of the street

**allurable:** it’s like 40 degrees

**kogayne:** that didn’t stop them

**lanceylance:** plax won

**mattata:** u bring dishonor to us all

**mattata:** dishonor on u, dishonor on ur cow

**lanceylance:** mm

**lanceylance:** also shiro keith is coming home with me, apparently ur still sick?

**allurable:** WHAT

**takashmeoutside:** DAMMIT I WAS HOPING NO ONE WOULD EXPOSE ME

**mattata:** i figured since u weren’t at work but i wasn’t gonna say anything

**takashmeoutside:** yes, i’m still sick

**takashmeoutside:** i was feeling better this weekend, and today i got worse

**mattata:** FLU FLU FLU FLU FLU FLU

**takashmeoutside:** it honestly might be

**lanceylance:** which is exactly why keith is staying with me

**kogayne:** it’s really just a ploy to steal more sweatshirts shh

**lanceylance:** :P

**carrierpidgeon:** if shiro’s sick then i gotta stay away from matt, matt’s probably infected

**takashmeoutside:** FLU FLU FLU FLU FLU

**allurable:** if they’re both down with the flu i’m bailing on this whole “taking care of them” thing, i don’t need to get sick too

**mattata:** LURAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** ALLY PLS

**shayfromstatefarm:** lmfao

**carrierpidgeon:** TRAGIC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psssst guess what updated after 500 years last night
> 
> that's right, [chapter 23 of stars go down](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/31171671) is here!!!!!!
> 
> also, all of deceit so natural has been uploaded to wattpad under the user nerdyspaceace :P
> 
> okay idk when the next chapter of this is, i have many things to write goodbye


	98. AUDITION DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's audition day for the musical and guess who's stressed about it (hint it's lance)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna post this a couple hours earlier but my dog got skunked so i had to bathe him
> 
> what happened was our back porch light's been out for a while, but it hasn't been a problem, we just let my dog run around. i was upstairs but my room faces the backyard, right? so my brother lets my dog out and literally, like 5 seconds later, my dog is SHRIEKING, barking up a storm, and IMMEDIATELY i can smell skunk, nastier than i've ever smelled it.
> 
> i'm 18. my brother's 16. we haven't had a dog since i was like, 4 and he was like, 2. it's 10:30 PM and both my parents are asleep, so we resort to texting my 32-year-old sister about what to do (my immediate reaction was like "SISTER UNIT...SHE'S AWAKE!!! SHE HAS A DOG!! SHE CAN HELP US!!!" bc googling would've taken too long to sift thru results and judge them trustworthy). 
> 
> anyway. 
> 
> here's the chapter

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** GOOD MORNING EVERYONE THE ANXIETY IS HERE

**allurable:** why

**lanceylance:** AUDITION DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

**lanceylance:** I HAVE 0 CONFIDENCE IN MY ABILITIES RIGHT NOW

**hunkerdunker:** u literally got a lead in the last show

**hunkerdunker:** u’ve had other leads

**lanceylance:** that doesn’t mean i’ll get THIS ONE

**kogayne:** yes u will

**lanceylance:** NO

**lanceylance:** AND EVEN IF I DO WELL TODAY, CALLBACKS ARE FRIDAY, WHICH MEANS MORE STRESS IF I GET A CALLBACK

**mattata:** dude

**mattata:** be more chill

**lanceylance:** M A T T

**carrierpidgeon:** bow to the squip’s whims

**hunkerdunker:** that is contradictory to the entire message of that show

**allurable:** lance, u got this

**allurable:** just enjoy ur senior SPRIIIING MUSICAAAL

**mattata:** were we meant to read that in ms darbus’ voice

**allurable:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**takashmeoutside:** think about it this way: u can’t completely control auditions

**takashmeoutside:** besides, you’ll still be in the show, you’ll land a good part regardless, and everyone in your friend group is involved, so it’s not like you’ll be suffering

**lanceylance:** hhhhnnn you’re right

**carrierpidgeon:** where’s ur boyf, isn’t he supposed to comfort u or something

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** he hasn’t let go of my arm for the last ten minutes

**lanceylance:** he’s being cute don’t worry

**kogayne:** i love him

**shayfromstatefarm:** OH MY GOD AUDITIONS

**shayfromstatefarm:** I GOTTA FILL OUT THE SHEET

**carrierpidgeon:** oh sheet

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOU KNOW WHAT PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM A GIFT TO THIS WORLD AND YOU KNOW IT

**shayfromstatefarm:** I WANT THE RECEIPT

**hunkerdunker:** oh damn

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S GONE I THREW IT OUT YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME FOREEEEVERRRRRR

**shayfromstatefarm:** i pick pidge up. i slam dunk her in the garbage.

**lanceylance:** fucking obliterated.

**carrierpidgeon:** tnhrbefwbgfbfdefgb

**mattata:** rip katie, 2002-2018

**carrierpidgeon:** o shit my 16th birthday is this year

**carrierpidgeon:** if i don’t become the chosen one or manifest magical powers What Is The Fucking Point

**takashmeoutside:** hold up my birthday is before urs

**carrierpidgeon:** hush flu man

**kogayne:** hey shiro how /are/ you

**takashmeoutside:** i’m going to the doctor today to see if it’s the flu or a really bad cold

**takashmeoutside:** prayer circle

**kogayne:** no

**takashmeoutside:** u know what

**kogayne:** what

**takashmeoutside:** fuck u

**kogayne:** nah

**takashmeoutside:** >:|

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■) 

**mattata:** have fun at the doctors office be sure to tell me whether or not it’s the flu so i can begin planning

**takashmeoutside:** planning WHAT

**mattata:** NOTHING

**hunkerdunker:** it’s always the holts

**hunkerdunker:** why do u guys have to be so sketchy

**carrierpidgeon:** gotta stay on brand

**mattata:** ain’t no plan like a holt plan bc holt plans leave all ur friends vaguely panicked

**allurable:** i’m not panicked

**allurable:** i jumped out a second story window with matt, nothing fazes me

**lanceylance:** you WHAT

**kogayne:** not surprised

**carrierpidgeon:** BRO WHAT WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER

**mattata:** one of those college stories i’m saving for u

**kogayne:** does this story also involve a frat party

**mattata:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe

**lanceylance:** STOP BEING CRYPTIC AND TELL US THE DAMN STORY

**mattata:** allura and i once crashed a frat party what more do you want

**kogayne:** WHERE DOES THE WINDOW COME IN

**mattata:** actually the window comes /out/

**mattata:** our dramatic exit

**shayfromstatefarm:** so are u gonna tell us what exactly happened orrrrr

**allurable:** wellllll there’s backstory

**allurable:** shiro, u cool with it

**takashmeoutside:** oh it’s /that/ story

**takashmeoutside:** yeah go ahead

**allurable:** okay SO this happened in the middle of a lot of shit happening

**allurable:** shiro was like, in part-time student mode, trying to get back into the swing of full-time college

**mattata:** sophomore year for us, freshman for allura

**mattata:** one of the hosts of the party tried to pull some shit in class with shiro that pissed me off, so then i was like, “well, time to crash a frat party”

**lanceylance:** how did u even get in

**mattata:** i pretended to be allura’s plus-one

**allurable:** he came up with the idea, i went along to protect him

**mattata:** i wanna disagree but yeah basically

**mattata:** i was scrawnier than i am now like it wasn’t even funny how tiny i was

**mattata:** and these guys were all bigger than me

**allurable:** and i was generally scary

**mattata:** so we got into the party

**allurable:** i almost broke a guy’s arm

**allurable:** i think i definitely sprained his wrist tho

**lanceylance:** iconic

**mattata:** anyway i broke into the sound system, fucked up some drinks by shaking them up, i broke into the lights, and then we went upstairs, away from most of the party

**kogayne:** you did NOT

**allurable:** went upstairs? yes we did

**allurable:** and then matt broke out his laptop bc he’s a nerd

**mattata:** u were just as nerdy shut up

**mattata:** u still ARE nerdy

**takashmeoutside:** i am so in love right now

**carrierpidgeon:** whipped

**mattata:** so anyway once we were upstairs i shut the lights off and cut the music and the party immediately became a disaster

**shayfromstatefarm:** isn’t that like, a safety hazard

**mattata:** i wasn’t part of the frat, the host was an ass, and we never got caught

**shayfromstatefarm:** BUT THE GUESTS

**mattata:** shhh

**shayfromstatefarm:** WERE THEY OKAY

**allurable:** ...uhhhh most were

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT THE FUCK

**allurable:** no one died and no one had a lasting injury shhh it’s fine

**mattata:** tbh half the party barely noticed a thing 

**mattata:** anyway no one could see downstairs so we had to get out SOMEHOW so we jumped out the second story window

**mattata:** and i mean we didn’t /jump/ really, we were above a bay window

**mattata:** but i still felt pretty badass

**kogayne:** you didn’t get caught that’s badass as fuck

**mattata:** thank you, thank you

**allurable:** it was his most badass moment

**allurable:** matthew holt officially peaked as a college sophomore

**mattata:** wow thanks

**carrierpidgeon:** okay so when i hit college i go to frat parties and exact justice on asshole frat boys

**allurable:** to be fair most of the frat guys on campus were nice

**allurable:** this guy just happened to not be

**carrierpidgeon:** okay but my statement still stands, i will serve vigilante justice in the form of party crashing

**kogayne:** sound plan, i’ll stay in my dorm

**kogayne:** maybe i’ll hunt for campus cryptids

**carrierpidgeon:** like cheap textbooks

**kogayne:** yes exactly

 

**_shrieking_ **

**takashmeoutside:** SO I HAVE THE FLU

**mattata:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**kogayne:** hey lance can i stay at ur house for the rest of the week

**lanceylance:** FINALLY AN EXCUSE TO HAVE KEITH TO MYSELF

**lanceylance:** uh i mean yeah, sure, cool

**mattata:** HEY KASHI, KARMA’S A BITCH ISN’T IT

**lanceylance:** karma’s lovely if u treat her right

**mattata:** keith ur boy is cheating on u with fate

**kogayne:** :O

**lanceylance:** KEITH WAIT

**kogayne:** I SAW U HANGING OUT WITH KARMA YESTERDAY

**lanceylance:** KEITH PLEASE IT’S NOT WHAT U THINK

**kogayne:** I WON’T HESITATE BITCH

**kogayne:** BANG BANG

**lanceylance:** [is dead]

**kogayne:** i wear a stunning all-black ensemble to his funeral. i take his entire inheritance. it’s a lot. i use it to fund nasa bc someone’s gotta do it and the government isn’t being very helpful.

**shayfromstatefarm:** that took a turn

**kogayne:** a necessary one

**kogayne:** aliens are out there and i intend to prove it

**carrierpidgeon:** but if the government is defunding nasa maybe they already know the aliens are out there and are working on a coverup

**carrierpidgeon:** we’ve already established that the men in black have wiped tangerine fuckface’s memory

**carrierpidgeon:** and the men in black are adamant about covering up aliens

**carrierpidgeon:** so they’re either in league with them, or they’re aliens themselves

**kogayne:** or they’ve been possessed

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** basically what i’m saying is that aliens are in the government and covering up their own existence

**hunkerdunker:** what did i just read

**carrierpidgeon:** the truth

**kogayne:** they are OUT THERE and if the government doesn’t say it I WILL

**carrierpidgeon:** what if they send the men in black after u

**kogayne:** vigilante justice

**kogayne:** i take up my knives and go on the run, a fugitive of the state

**kogayne:** people begin wondering why i’m on the run

**kogayne:** who am i running from

**kogayne:** as attempts are made on my life, i explain my story, and people realize that the attempts to silence me are no coincidence

**kogayne:** my cult of believers grows

**kogayne:** the men in black can’t wipe the entire nation

**kogayne:** and once i flee the country the whole plot goes international

**kogayne:** the threat of nuclear war falls as nations begin looking into aliens

**kogayne:** i ignite a new space race

**kogayne:** the men in black become the wanted ones

**kogayne:** they attempt to flee the planet, and with our new fleet of spaceships, earth goes into space to chase after them

**kogayne:** thus, i single-handedly force earth to figure out how to get ships out of our solar system and into the universe

**takashmeoutside:** ...are u okay

**carrierpidgeon:** WRITE A BOOK, MAKE IT A FILM, I DON’T CARE BUT I NEED A VIGILANTE ALIEN CONSPIRACY THEORIST BLOWING THIS WHOLE THING WIDE OPEN AND BECOMING A HERO

**lanceylance:** the men in black will hunt him down for exposing them

**lanceylance:** the film gets shut down before it even gets going

**lanceylance:** keith gets kidnapped

**lanceylance:** as a team, we step up in order to save him and become a ragtag band intent on exposing the whole thing

**lanceylance:** allura and matt become our primary communications people and spread the word to the public, and they become so iconic that they’re untouchable, if they get eliminated then the whole thing gets blown up

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro assumes his role as dad

**carrierpidgeon:** guys i’m so excited about this, someone write a book with one of these plots or make a film or direct a tv show PLEASE MY CROPS ARE DYING THE DROUGHT IS AT ITS PEAK I NEED SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD

**shayfromstatefarm:** that was too much internet speak for one sentence

**carrierpidgeon:** never enough internet speak

**lanceylance:** never enough VINES is more like it

**carrierpidgeon:** sit down mcclain this is my forte

**lanceylance:** ACTUALLY, MEGAN

**hunkerdunker:** why

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T SIT /ANYWHERE/

**hunkerdunker:** pls no

**lanceylance:** I HAVE /HEMORRHOIDS/

**carrierpidgeon:** u should get that checked out maybe

**takashmeoutside:** join me in medical hell

**lanceylance:** nah fam stay away from me

**takashmeoutside:** i mean if i have the flu there’s still a chance keith gets it

**lanceylance:** nope my mother will make /sure/ he doesn’t

**lanceylance:** she has a gift for scaring her children out of illness

**kogayne:** is that why u have such a strong immune system

**lanceylance:** yes duh

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** WELCOME TO DAY 1 OF AUDITIONS, WHO’S AUDITIONING TODAY

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** break a leg, audition kids

**lanceylance:** snap a fibula

**madplax:** rtheryttrweyteg snap a fibula

**dinezor:** petition to start saying snap a fibula before shows

**lotoreal:** fracture a femur

**acxalutelynot:** shatter a patella

**hunkerdunker:** [insert witty medical leg-related joke about breakage here]

**floronawiththecorona:** thanks 4 ur contribution

**hunkerdunker:** i do my best

**carrierpidgeon:** weak attempt at being funny 0/10

**zethridofmyproblems:** about as weak as the legs everyone is breaking

**carrierpidgeon:** see hunk, now that was humor

**hunkerdunker:** wow pidge tell me how u really feel

**madplax:** anyway broken body parts aside, if ur auditioning today then ur ass needs to be in the auditorium in five minutes

**lanceylance:** just our ass

**madplax:** i will fight u in front of the newbies

**lanceylance:** bet let’s go

**shayfromstatefarm:** NOT AGAIN

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** WELL I AUDITIONED

**allurable:** !!!!!! how it’d go!!!!

**lanceylance:** OKAY I GUESS BUT I’M LOWKEY FREAKIN OUT

**allurable:** WHY

**lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!! ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**hunkerdunker:** you’ll be fiiiine

**lanceylance:** HUNK DID U GO YET

**hunkerdunker:** i’m on deck

**hunkerdunker:** shay’s in right now

**lanceylance:** HNNNGGGG KEITH WHERE ARE U

**kogayne:** crew meeting

**kogayne:** we’re almost done

**lanceylance:** :))))))

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i wanna punch lance’s anxiety in the face

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on with lance

**kogayne:** he feels self-conscious about his audition and it’s eating him alive

**kogayne:** “this is my senior musical, what if i don’t even make the cast, what if i get cut, what am i supposed to do, how am i supposed to show my face”

**kogayne:** he probably had one of the best auditions out of anyone

**kogayne:** i hate seeing him beating himself up like this

**takashmeoutside:** go be with him

**kogayne:** going

**kogayne:** just needed to rant

**takashmeoutside:** okay now gO

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** dude it’s been six hours

**lanceylance:** BUT IF THE SNOW TIMES THINGS RIGHT AND WE GET CANCELLED TOMORROW

**lanceylance:** WHAT HAPPENS TO /TOMORROW’S/ AUDITIONS

**lanceylance:** DO THEY GET PUSHED TO THURSDAY OR ANOTHER DAY

**lanceylance:** BC IF THEY MOVE DO CALLBACKS MOVE??

**lanceylance:** I NEED TO KNOW IF I GOT A CALLBACK SO I CAN START WORRYING ABOUT THAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** HEY, HAMLET

**shayfromstatefarm:** BE

**shayfromstatefarm:** MORE

**shayfromstatefarm:** CHILL

**hunkerdunker:** did everyone in this group chat completely miss the point of that musical

**lanceylance:** CHILL??? CHILL??????? I CANNOT CHILL

**mattata:** yes you can

**lanceylance:** no i can’t

**kogayne:** i say you can

**lanceylance:** there’s not a chance

**kogayne:** sLIDE HOME YOU SCORE SWINGIN ON THE DANCEFLOOR

**lanceylance:** I DON’T DANCE NOOOO

**kogayne:** okay are u calmer now

**lanceylance:** yeah the duet was nice thank u

**carrierpidgeon:** the high school musical gay anthem, what a gem

**takashmeoutside:** gay anthem

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** why

**allurable:** HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN THAT

**takashmeoutside:** it’s a song about a sportsballer who refuses to get into the arts despite performing in an artsy musical number multiple times throughout the franchise

**mattata:** but also it’s a metaphor for liking guys

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me

**kogayne:** CHAD AND RYAN ARE WEARING EACH OTHERS’ CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE SONG

**lanceylance:** they talk about swinging

**takashmeoutside:** ...well shit

**allurable:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**kogayne:** my cousin everyone

**takashmeoutside:** leave me alone my brain can’t compute anything in this flu haze

**kogayne:** k bye then

**takashmeoutside:** wow rude

**kogayne:** u asked to be left alone

**shayfromstatefarm:** he has a point

**takashmeoutside:** u absolute heathens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k bye see ya in the next one


	99. c...callbacks?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent wednesday chapter: snow day  
> non-existent thursday chapter: day 2 of auditions, voting closes on senior superlatives, shiro is still down with the flu, matt and allura have given into helping him
> 
> friday summary: greek mythology, callback shenanigans, other stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boop i have stuff to talk about in the end note :P

**_lanceylance > madplax_ **

**lanceylance:** PLAX

**madplax:** what

**madplax:** boi it’s 6:30 in the morning what do u want i gotta get ready for school

**lanceylance:** DO WE HAVE CALLBACKS OR NAH

**madplax:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**madplax:** mr director man hasn’t gotten back to me, we’re lucky we finished auditions yesterday

**lanceylance:** i need to know if i’m staying after or going home

**madplax:** welp tough shit

**lanceylance:** :O rude

**madplax:** what a tragedy

**lanceylance:** doing me so dirty

**madplax:** t r a g i c

**lanceylance:** fight me

**madplax:** if we have callbacks we fight in the auditorium and if not i harass you at your job

**lanceylance:** bet

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** lmfao no one knows if we’ve got callbacks today or not funfunfunfun

**carrierpidgeon:** do y’all even have the list of who’s getting a callback

**lanceylance:** NOPE

**takashmeoutside:** seriously

**allurable:** i’m telling u, that drama club went downhill the moment i graduated

**allurable:** i was a Star

**mattata:** mhm sure

**allurable:** what are u trying to say matthew

**mattata:** mmmm nothinnnnn

**takashmeoutside:** wait so when do u find out the callback list

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** NO ONE KNOWS!!!!!!

**lanceylance:** AND I AM  D Y I N G

**kogayne:** you’re not /dying/

**lanceylance:** DYING

**lanceylance:** EULOGIZE ME WELL

**kogayne:** how tf am i supposed to raise a family with u if ur not here

**lanceylance:** shit u right

**carrierpidgeon:** why is it always these two

**kogayne:** why is it always what

**carrierpidgeon:** u gotta make this chat see all ur mushy grossness

**kogayne:** we’re 10x worse in public so i mean it’s not as bad as it could be

**hunkerdunker:** physics and study hall were a nightmare

**lanceylance:** o shit today’s the day we have different sixth periods

**lanceylance:** imma miss u buddy

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re free

**lanceylance:** rude

**shayfromstatefarm:** i speak the truth

**shayfromstatefarm:** and u know it

**lanceylance:** let me live 

**carrierpidgeon:** u were begging for death two minutes ago

**kogayne:** shhhhh let him live

**carrierpidgeon:** no

**kogayne:** who am i supposed to watch buzzfeed unsolved with tonight if he dies

**carrierpidgeon:** uh me?   
****

**kogayne:** i’m not going near the holt house

**kogayne:** matt’s been with shiro, you’re next

**carrierpidgeon:** u act like i’m a weakling, i am no weakling, i will not be infected

**kogayne:** u say that now

**kogayne:** buzzfeed unsolved aside, whose house do i stay at if lance dies

**lanceylance:** i mean u can stay at my place

**kogayne:** okay NO stop trying to justify this

**kogayne:** so what if callbacks don’t happen today, u get to nap sooner

**lanceylance:** i at least want the list of who’s getting one

**carrierpidgeon:** boi ur gonna get one chill out

**carrierpidgeon:** if u don’t get one everyone knows we’re either in a parallel universe or the director got paid off

**kogayne:** i’ll fight

**carrierpidgeon:** and everyone knows keith will fight

**hunkerdunker:** why do all of u have this hyperfixation on fighting

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ get that blood pumping

**hunkerdunker:** just go for a walk wtf???

**kogayne:** feel alive

**hunkerdunker:** gO FOR A RUN????

**kogayne:** MURDER

**lanceylance:** :D

**kogayne:** no u cannot be the victim

**lanceylance:** >:(

**carrierpidgeon:** smh i’m changing the subject, who wants to talk about the physics behind the myth of icarus

**shayfromstatefarm:** :O DUDE

**carrierpidgeon:** MY DUDE

**shayfromstatefarm:** YES PLEASE

**carrierpidgeon:** oKAY so the other day i was in chem right

**mattata:** well i’d hope so

**lanceylance:** ROAD WORK AHEAD

**lanceylance:** YEAH, I SURE HOPE IT DOES

**carrierpidgeon:** trythnrtefgerngr OKAY SO I’M IN CHEM AND IT’S ME SHERRIE AND TWO OTHER GIRLS WHO TAKE LATIN

**carrierpidgeon:** and this one girl is like “yeah so we learned about icarus the other day and my sister started yelling about the broken physics behind it” and the other girl is like “well what does she expect it’s a mYTH” and like they kept going back and forth but instantly sherrie and i are like PHYSICS??? SCIENCE??? ENLIGHTEN US ON WHAT SISTER DEAR HAD TO SAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** wait who who who 

**lanceylance:** what are u, an owl

**shayfromstatefarm:** stfu

**carrierpidgeon:** idk this girl named like, emily or smth??

**shayfromstatefarm:** IS HER SISTER’S NAME SARAH

**carrierpidgeon:** i think?

**kogayne:** we’ve got a sarah in our physics class who has a sister named emily, so

**carrierpidgeon:** :O do u know if emily ever talks about me

**kogayne:** what, u got another crush

**carrierpidgeon:** no i need to know my reputation

**hunkerdunker:** i’ve heard u mentioned like, once

**carrierpidgeon:** CONTEXT

**hunkerdunker:** “yeah my little sister’s chem class is full of morons, there are maybe three competent people in that class”

**carrierpidgeon:** HELL YEAH I’M COMPETENT

**lanceylance:** well duh

**lanceylance:** u remember that dream i had about the giant robot in space

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah

**lanceylance:** if u left the team we would’ve probably died so

**carrierpidgeon:** bet

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYWAY SO BACK TO MY STORY

**carrierpidgeon:** so emily’s telling us about sarah

**carrierpidgeon:** and how sarah went and actually researched the physics behind the myth and essentially, the entire myth is fuckin broken

**allurable:** INTELLECTUALS

**carrierpidgeon:** k so y’all know about daedalus, right

**carrierpidgeon:** created the labyrinth, he and his son icarus got punished, and now they’re breaking free

**lanceylance:** WE’RE BREAKIN FREEEEE

**kogayne:** WE’RE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOARIN

**lanceylance:** FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYINNNNNN

**carrierpidgeon:** this is why you’re going to lose cutest couple to hunay

**kogayne:** u know what i can deal with that i love lance

**carrierpidgeon:** OKAY BaCk To My StOrY

**carrierpidgeon:** so basically they made wings out of feathers and wax and were gonna fly across the ocean

**carrierpidgeon:** icarus had simple instructions: go the middle route. literally, just stay in ur fuckin lane

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t fly too close to the sun, or else the wax will melt

**lanceylance:** fuckin apollo

**carrierpidgeon:** and don’t fly too close to the ocean, bc your wings will get wet and you can’t fly, which, sure, that bit of physics makes sense

**carrierpidgeon:** but apparently em told this story to sarah

**carrierpidgeon:** and sarah was like “wait...wait did they say the higher u get...the hotter it gets?”

**hunkerdunker:** ah

**shayfromstatefarm:** AH

**kogayne:** BECAUSE THE UPPER ATMOSPHERE IS COLDER AND THE AIR IS THINNER

**carrierpidgeon:** YES

**carrierpidgeon:** so sarah looked into this and, first of all, apparently some university kids have actually written a paper on this, so

**lanceylance:** fuckin millennials

**hunkerdunker:** i love nerds

**carrierpidgeon:** second, the other issue that sarah had was that

**carrierpidgeon:** “wax and feathers are both lighter than water...they float...if he had fucking WINGS shouldn’t he have floated and not drowned”

**carrierpidgeon:** which should hold true, as long as he didn’t land face down

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT THEN she was like “mmm but how did he fall in the first place”

**carrierpidgeon:** her conclusion was that the only way for icarus to have fallen and drowned was for him to have passed out from being up too high

**hunkerdunker:** i already said it once but i’ll say it again: i love nerds

**takashmeoutside:** IT’S A MYTH

**mattata:** LET THEM HAVE THIS

**takashmeoutside:** THERE’S A MYTH WHERE A WOMAN FUCKS A BULL BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU TAKE ISSUE WITH

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS ONE SPECIFICALLY BROKE PHYSICS

**carrierpidgeon:** THE ENTIRE LESSON OF THE STORY HINGED ON PHYSICS BEING BROKEN

**takashmeoutside:** YEAH I’M PRETTY SURE THE MINOTAUR BREAKS BIOLOGY AND PHYSICS BUT WHATEVER I GUESS

**allurable:** of all other impossible myths to bring up, you brought up one connected to the labyrinth

**takashmeoutside:** fine do we want to talk about daphne turning into a tree to get away from apollo

**allurable:** okay listen when she was begging for help i seriously doubt /turning into a tree/ was what she had in mind

**shayfromstatefarm:** where was artemis 

**shayfromstatefarm:** should’ve become one of her followers

**mattata:** okay i appreciate the greek mythology here but i’m gonna interrupt for one second

**mattata:** keith where the fuck is ur soup 

**kogayne:** ??? ask shiro he’s right there?????

**mattata:** he says he doesn’t know

**mattata:** i’ve looked everywhere

**kogayne:** then we’re out

**mattata:** what the FUCK

**allurable:** smh i’ll hit the store

**allurable:** u guys just can’t function without me, what a tragedy

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** LISTEN UP YOU DRAMATIC FUCKS

**lotoreal:** how polite

**madplax:** YOU’VE ALREADY DONE SHOWS WITH US YOU KNOW POLITENESS WENT OUT THE WINDOW A LONG TIME AGO

**madplax:** CALLBACKS ARE NOT TODAY

**lanceylance:** [shrieks]

**madplax:** CHILL 

**lanceylance:** NO

**dinezor:** wait so when are callbacks, i am a busy girl

**madplax:** callbacks are TUESDAY

**madplax:** and according to the OFFICE

**madplax:** (emphasis on the OFFICE, don’t look at me when things inevitably get screwed up)

**madplax:** (@lance)

**lanceylance:** BOI

**zethridofmyproblems:** plax u were saying

**madplax:** the CURRENT PLAN is that the callback is list getting posted on the auditorium door after school

**floronawiththecorona:** is list getting

**madplax:** shut up flor

**madplax:** so, YEAH

**lanceylance:** BUT THE END OF THE DAY IS SO FAR AWAY

**madplax:** three more periods suck it up

**lanceylance:** but PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX

**madplax:** stop whiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

**floronawiththecorona:** here i have better news: superlative list goes up period 5

**lanceylance:** OH FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** rest in pieces

**lanceylance:** THAT’S NEXT PERIOD

**acxalutelynot:** yes, that’s how time works

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_floronawiththecorona_ **

**floronawiththecorona:** here’s the superlative list xoxo

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** EAT IT 

**lanceylance:** WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY REALLY BEAT US

**kogayne:** congrats hunay 

**kogayne:** being subtle apparently pays off

**shayfromstatefarm:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** i can just rest easy knowing i got everyone’s friend, and not biggest flirt

**lanceylance:** had i gotten biggest flirt i would have skipped town changed my name and gotten a new haircut

**kogayne:** :O oh no not a hairuct

**carrierpidgeon:** hairuct

**kogayne:** fuckin autocorrect failing me

**shayfromstatefarm:** if he gets a haircut and you still love him then it’s true love

**kogayne:** [sweats nervously]

**shayfromstatefarm:** but ANYWAY hunk i can’t believe we’re cutest couple AND we both won the “most likely to brighten ur day” category

**carrierpidgeon:** tag ur goals

**kogayne:** i got most likely to win the hunger games, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** u fuckin edgelord

**kogayne:** there’s a reason i won that and not “best to bring home to mom and dad”

**lanceylance:** :O but u are the best to bring home to mom and dad

**lanceylance:** or mom and mom

**lanceylance:** or dad and dad

**lanceylance:** or mom

**carrierpidgeon:** they really couldn’t just say “best to bring home to the parents”

**lanceylance:** of course not, that would make too much sense

**kogayne:** i’m honored u think that but ur mom doesn’t know about my knife collection

**lanceylance:** yes she does

**kogayne:** she WHAT

**lanceylance:** i tell her everything

**kogayne:** HOW HAS SHE NOT BANNED U FROM SEEING ME WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** HOW HAS SHE NOT BANNED ME FROM HER HOUSEHOLD

**lanceylance:** she thinks u have “preparedness skills”

**lanceylance:** “was he a boy scout?”

**kogayne:** holy shit

**carrierpidgeon:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**hunkerdunker:** omfg

**hunkerdunker:** congrats keith, u have the mcclain stamp of approve for ur /actual/ personality

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M WEHZIGN 

**shayfromstatefarm:** so ur sitting at ur desk purposely misspelling wheezing, right

**carrierpidgeon:** stop calling me out like this

**shayfromstatefarm:** no it’s my job

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** the day ends in 5 minutes happy hunger games everyone, may the odds be ever in ur favor

**dinezor:** can someone just post a pic in the chat so we’re not all killing each other trying to get to the door

**madplax:** what’s the fun in that

**zethridofmyproblems:** i’ll do it, i’m closest to the auditorium when class ends

**lanceylance:** I Am A Being Made Of Fear

**kogayne:** snap a fibula everyone

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_zethridofmyproblems_ **

**zethridofmyproblems:** here y’all go

 

**_shrieking_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** yeah i really don’t know what u were worried about

**kogayne:** i knew u could do it

**hunkerdunker:** yes also congrats to hunk and shay!!

**hunkerdunker:** aw thanks hunk!

**hunkerdunker:** aww you’re welcome hunk!

**carrierpidgeon:** ETHRTGEWRGDRDG TAG URSELF

**mattata:** congrats hunk and shay! go wipe the floor with those losers whenever callbacks are!

**shayfromstatefarm:** thanks matt, that would be tuesday

**hunkerdunker:** gonna stop and pick up some orange glo

**kogayne:** yo while we’re all in a good mood can we just do gratitude friday now

**mattata:** sure

**kogayne:** cool i’m grateful that mrs mcclain hasn’t gotten sick of me staying in her house yet

**takashmeoutside:** i’m starting to recover and also matt and allura agreed to take care of me and that’s my gratitude

**mattata:** i’m not sick yet!!

**allurable:** grateful that the week is over, i need a nap

**lanceylance:** I GOT A CALLBACK AND WASN’T VOTED BIGGEST FLIRT

**carrierpidgeon:** i have more friends than i thought ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** i too got a callback, and shay and i got cutest couple  <3 :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** <33333 study hall was quiet i slept

**lanceylance:** :O HOW’S UR STUDY HALL

**shayfromstatefarm:** ETRTHERWGDTR THEY BOTH WENT TO THE LIBRARY

**lanceylance:** EXCELLENT

**allurable:** idk what’s going on but good

**allurable:** i’m gonna go hang with matt and kashi now

**mattata:** ^^

**takashmeoutside:** ^^^^^

**kogayne:** have fun, i’ll be with the crew at work and then at lance’s

**lanceylance:** ^^^^ i’ll be with my sweet sweet boyf

**carrierpidgeon:** work and then HOME

**shayfromstatefarm:** SLEEP

**hunkerdunker:** idk what i’m gonna do after work ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao taking a break from this is refreshing
> 
> anyway i think i figured out how i'm gonna continue this fic and stuff? i think this one's probably gonna end in the beginning of summer/when they graduate??? and then idk what i'm gonna do over the summer, probably focus on other fanfics, and then probably start a new chatfic when i start college???
> 
> HOLY SHIT I'M GONNA START COLLEGE SOON WHAT THE FUCK
> 
> anyway this is a tentative schedule/plan and is most definitely subject to change, idk why i'm even discussing it now but whatever
> 
> also i'm making progress on sgd chapter 24...so for anyone reading that...HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE
> 
> k bye see ya in the next chapter


	100. there's nothing special for the big 100 don't mind me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's a monday, ft. klance, mallura/shalluratt, and the meme team (...and also more klance)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the more heart-wrenching DSN/SGD gets, the sappier squad up gets bc hot damn i need my klance fix i am starving and i want some good fucking food

**_shrieking_ **

**kogayne:** i’m gonna fight the skunk living under lance’s back porch

**takashmeoutside:** what happened

**lanceylance:** we were watching javier and clara, right

**mattata:** oh no i already see where this is going

**lanceylance:** javier was just chillin out on the back porch

**lanceylance:** the freakin flood light was on

**lanceylance:** and aLL OF A SUDDEN

**allurable:** NOOOOOOOOOOOO

**lanceylance:** this kid SHRIEKS, and now my whole house smells like skunk

**kogayne:** our backpacks smell like skunk and it’s NOTICEABLE

**lanceylance:** we didn’t notice at home bc our noses are now numb to the scent of skunk

**kogayne:** i’m pretty sure my jacket smells vaguely like skunk

**lanceylance:** and our hair

**kogayne:** even tho we showered

**carrierpidgeon:** ew stay away from me

**kogayne:** does anyone have perfume

**kogayne:** idc if it smells like flowers i just don’t wanna smell like shit anymore

**shayfromstatefarm:** no sorry

**shayfromstatefarm:** i have lotion tho?

**kogayne:** not exactly helpful

**lanceylance:** ask in the prom chat

 

**_PROM 2K18_ **

**lanceylance:** ANYONE GOT PERFUME

**madplax:** why is this a question you have first thing in the morning

**dinezor:** nah but i’ve got fruity lotion?

**acxalutelynot:** i’ve only got lotion sorry

**zethridofmyproblems:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**lanceylance:** WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ONLY CARRY LOTION

**floronawiththecorona:** why do u need perfume

**kogayne:** his cousin got skunked last night and the whole house smells like shit and now we smell like shit but we couldn’t tell bc we’re numb to the scent of shit

**floronawiththecorona:** yikes

**lotoreal:** i have perfume

**carrierpidgeon:** rhtegwferfngrfgb i’m not even surprised

**lotoreal:** what

**lotoreal:** is it a crime to want to smell nice

**lanceylance:** no now where are you we need this perfume asap, kids are looking at me weird in the hallway

**kogayne:** meet us in the bathroom when we change classes PLEASE

**lotoreal:** okay

 

**_shrieking_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** they asked for perfume in the prom chat and the only person who had perfume and not lotion was lotion himself

**allurable:** dfresdgbdf lotion

**carrierpidgeon:** we also call him lotoreal

**allurable:** well yeah that’s his username

**allurable:** i can’t believe he actually had perfume

**kogayne:** guys it smelled good

**kogayne:** i’m gonna buy some after school

**lanceylance:** ^^^ yeah we’re gonna buy like 500 bottles of it and douse my entire house

**hunkerdunker:** think about your poor mother

**lanceylance:** my poor mother is currently struggling to scrub skunk outta the fuckin WALLS

**shayfromstatefarm:** did u call an exterminator about the skunk

**lanceylance:** why call an exterminator when u can put on a hazmat suit and terrorize it out of your yard for yourself

**kogayne:** we have plans

**kogayne:** we stayed up half the night plotting revenge

**takashmeoutside:** that’s nice

**takashmeoutside:** i stayed up half the night struggling to breathe

**mattata:** he kept waking me up to complain

**takashmeoutside:** oh how the turntables

**takashmeoutside:** i ain’t get no sleep ‘cause of y’all, y’all ain’t get no sleep ‘cause of me

**mattata:** DID YOU JUST MEME AT ME

**allurable:** memelord holt getting beat at his own game

**mattata:** is this what betrayal feels like

**mattata:** i can’t fuckin believe

**mattata:** kashi how could u

**mattata:** fuckin nut butter bar is gettin ballsy

**carrierpidgeon:** did u just use a dick joke to subtly make two dick jokes

**mattata:** SO WHAT IF I DID

**mattata:** LET ME LIVE

**shayfromstatefarm:** we really can’t, you got outmemed

**mattata:** shay i can’t believe /you/ would turn on me like this

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ve established this before, i’m a neutral party

**shayfromstatefarm:** i call it as i see it

**shayfromstatefarm:** i am, after all, the mediator

**mattata:** faithless

**hunkerdunker:** excuse me she is plenty faithful

**shayfromstatefarm:** aww  <333

**mattata:** wow, i see how it is, side against matt holt

**takashmeoutside:** who said i was against u

**mattata:** u memed at me u heathen, memeing is my job

**lanceylance:** memeing is my job

**carrierpidgeon:** *our

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re the meme team

**mattata:** more like the mean teens

**mattata:** left me out of your secret meme society

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t worry i’ll have to replace him when he abandons me for college

**lanceylance:** sorry i want to have a higher education

**carrierpidgeon:** smh can’t believe you’re choosing your career over me

**lanceylance:** pidge pls it’s not what u think, i just need to focus on becoming my best self for u

**allurable:** is this a hallmark movie

**shayfromstatefarm:** CYUHIGIHGJYUHKJGUIHKJV HALLMARK MOVIE

**kogayne:** wow lance sounds like ur cheating on me with pidge

**kogayne:** i’m hurt, truly

**lanceylance:** yep bye

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry kogane he’s mine now

**kogayne:** wow, my boyfriend and my cryptid-hunting partner, mondays really are the worst day of the week

**hunkerdunker:** why are people in relationships and people with siblings sO WEIRD

**kogayne:** survival of the fittest

**carrierpidgeon:** if u can’t survive the weird then u are weak and natural selection is coming for u

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ guess i’ll die

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk wait don’t leave me

**shayfromstatefarm:** i have a sibling, i can teach u how to be Strong

**takashmeoutside:** is this a fever dream i’m having, why are shay and hunk being strange today too

**mattata:** nope ur fine this is actually happening

**takashmeoutside:** what happened to u kids over the weekend

**kogayne:** well the skunk fumes are probably getting to me and lance

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk and i have third period with lance, we’re suffering

**takashmeoutside:** i thought u guys were in second

**kogayne:** no we’re in third now

**kogayne:** i miss lance

**carrierpidgeon:** no we are not doing this now nopenopenope

**lanceylance:** IS THE SMELL ACTUALLY NOTICEABLE

**hunkerdunker:** no

**lanceylance:** IS THAT A LIE

**hunkerdunker:** no

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance ur fine now u just smell like peaches

**lanceylance:** i will take peaches over skunk any day

**kogayne:** idk how since it’s literally the same scent but lance smells better than lotor did

**lanceylance:** awwww  <33333

**carrierpidgeon:** no ew no get out of this chat with ur relationship

**carrierpidgeon:** go text each other stop bein mushy u smelly heathens

**lanceylance:** f i n e

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey baaaaaaaaaaaaaabe

**kogayne:** okay so the thought just occurred to me: what are we doing for valentine’s day

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i wasn’t sure

**lanceylance:** u got anything specific in mind

**kogayne:** do u wanna do something small wednesday after work but then go on a real date saturday, or even on friday

**kogayne:** bc like

**kogayne:** wednesday’s a school day

**kogayne:** and i know ur family actually does all the religious stuff for easter

**kogayne:** and u guys have like, the thing with the ashes on wednesday

**lanceylance:** aww u remembered ur so cute

**kogayne:** if i’m gonna marry into ur family i gotta know what i’m getting into

**lanceylance:** i’m sitting in thace’s class trying not to scream why are u so cute today

**kogayne:** boyfriends who get skunked together stay together

**kogayne:** but aside from the skunking i’m just in a really good mood

**kogayne:** i just really love u a lot

**kogayne:** my sweet disaster bi of a boyfriend

**lanceylance:** excuse u i am a distinguished bi

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** i am a disaster gay, i know my fellow disasters

**lanceylance:** ...can we meet in the middle and concede i’m a functional bi

**kogayne:** no

**lanceylance:** why u gotta call me out like this

**kogayne:** if i don’t keep u on ur toes what’s the point

**kogayne:** look alive mcclain

**lanceylance:** smh can’t believe u

**kogayne:** but u love me

**lanceylance:** i do

**lanceylance:** a whole lot

**lanceylance:** also i say part of our wednesday date is raiding the corner stores for candy after work

**kogayne:** oh fuck yes

**kogayne:** thursday’s a half day at school, lunch date???

**lanceylance:** BONELESS THURSDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

**lanceylance:** dude i love u so much i think i’m having heart palpitations

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** I’VE GOT A LOT OF LOVE IN MY HEART FOR U

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna be extra on valentine’s day that’s it

**kogayne:** ummm not if i’m extra

**lanceylance:** fight me, i can out-love u any day of the week

**kogayne:** u wanna fuckin go

**lanceylance:** we’re gonna annoy the whole school

**kogayne:** ask me if i give a shit

**kogayne:** the whole school needs to know how amazing my boyfriend is

**lanceylance:** is ur gross ass down for white chocolate

**kogayne:** fdrgthergtrgdf will u let that go

**lanceylance:** IT IS SATAN’S FAKE CHOCOLATE OF MISERY

**kogayne:** don’t u have work to do

**lanceylance:** come on man this is thace’s class

**lanceylance:** now do u want ur devil chocolate or what

**kogayne:** isn’t devil’s food usually considered regular chocolate...or...like...dark chocolate

**lanceylance:** wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow u had to turn it around

**kogayne:** KEEP U ON UR TOES

**lanceylance:** are u gonna be like this when we’re old people

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** what, keep up my stamina so we can terrorize everyone in our nursing home

**kogayne:** absolutely

**lanceylance:** remind me how i landed u again

**kogayne:** by keeping me on my toes

**lanceylance:** :)

**lanceylance:** no one can resist that mcclain charm (・ωｰ)～☆

**kogayne:** uhhh i managed to resist it for like, a year

**lanceylance:** “i always lowkey liked u since middle school but u had to start that fuckin rivalry” i beg to differ

**kogayne:** WOW CALLIN ME OUT

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** sHUTI BBRBR

**lanceylance:** ??? babe???

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** boi where did u disappear

**kogayne:** fdgrfdf ryner caught me on my phone and said if it happened again i had to read my texts out loud to the whole class

**lanceylance:** sO WHY DIDN’T U

**lanceylance:** OH SHIT RYNER OKAY BYE I’LL SEE U AT LUNCH

**kogayne:** “sO WHY DIDN’T U” okay weenie

 

**_allurable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** how are u and kashi

**mattata:** he’s getting better but i am getting worse

**allurable:** rip

**allurable:** are u in need of more soup

**mattata:** THE MAN EATS SO MUCH SOUP I DON’T KNOW WHY 

**allurable:** is that a yes bc i’m going to the store

**mattata:** YES

**mattata:** also we need more tissues

**mattata:** when u get here shiro is demanding we binge watch all the phineas and ferb episodes on netflix

**allurable:** wtf why

**mattata:** he woke up this morning and went “i wanna binge phineas and ferb” and he won’t leave me alone about it

**allurable:** THAT’S SUCH A WEIRD URGE

**mattata:** THANK YOU I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO REALIZES THAT

**mattata:** our conversation went something like this

**mattata:** “ahem, good morning nut butter bar how are u”

**mattata:** “i wanna binge phineas and ferb”

**mattata:** “...what”

**mattata:** “u heard me. tell allura. we’re binging phineas and ferb.”

**mattata:** “WHY”

**mattata:** “bc i want to and i won’t be satisfied until we do”

**allurable:** why are we dating him again

**mattata:** beats me

**allurable:** i still

**allurable:** how do i even process that request

**allurable:** OF ALL SHOWS

**allurable:** PHINEAS AND FERB

**mattata:** RIGHT????

**mattata:** okay i gotta gooooo he’s demanding matt time

**allurable:** what if i want matt time

**mattata:** hurry up and get over here

**allurable:** smh

**allurable:** is there any soup /you/ want

**mattata:** doesn’t matter, shiro is a soup bloodhound, if i stash it he’ll find it

**allurable:** just tell me what soup u want i know ur desperate

**mattata:** none, i am sick of soup, i want a sandwich

**allurable:** turkey on rye from the deli sound good

**mattata:** hey did i tell u i loved u

**allurable:** kiss-ass

**mattata:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**allurable:** love u too mathematics, go take care of our other man

**mattata:** see u soon

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** i just remembered that callbacks are tomorrow and my anxiety levels just shot up like 50%

**kogayne:** only 50? ur improving i’m proud of u

**lanceylance:** aw thanks but anyway

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** lance 4 eric 2k18

**hunkerdunker:** motion seconded

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk 4 triton 2k18

**lanceylance:** motion seconded

**kogayne:** shay 4 ursula 2k18

**hunkerdunker:** MOTION SECONDED

**lanceylance:** THIRDED

**allurable:** i never had to worry about callbacks

**lanceylance:** wow did u suck at acting that much

**allurable:** :O

**lanceylance:** >:)

**allurable:** I MEANT I WAS ALWAYS RELAXED

**lanceylance:** NOT ALL OF US CAN BE NEUROTYPICAL, KAREN

**carrierpidgeon:** MEME TEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

**takashmeoutside:** gonna change the subject why was candace such a snitch

**kogayne:** ...what

**takashmeoutside:** keith was i like that when u were younger

**kogayne:** ...not that i can recall??

**kogayne:** wait why is this a thing

**mattata:** he’s delirious

**takashmeoutside:** I AM PERFECTLY LUCID

**allurable:** he demanded we watch phineas and ferb

**allurable:** as in, binge every episode

**kogayne:** why

**mattata:** HE’S DELIRIOUS

**takashmeoutside:** AM NOT

**shayfromstatefarm:** ur acting 5

**kogayne:** shiro’s 6, actually

**takashmeoutside:** I’M TURNING 26 KEITH

**kogayne:** u are 6

**kogayne:** ur birthday exists every 4 years, until 2020 u are 6

**shayfromstatefarm:** someone make it a hashtag

**carrierpidgeon:** get it trending on local twitter

**lanceylance:** #ShiroIsSix

**hunkerdunker:** #ShiroIsSix

**kogayne:** #ShiroIsSix

**allurable:** #ShiroIsSix

**shayfromstatefarm:** #ShiroIsSix

**mattata:** #ShiroIsSix

**carrierpidgeon:** #ShiroIsSix

**takashmeoutside:** did u know i hate all of u

**takashmeoutside:** also keith are u ever coming home

**kogayne:** let’s see

**kogayne:** diseased cousin, skunked house

**kogayne:** i’ll take the skunked house

**takashmeoutside:** >:O

**lanceylance:** hey keith permission to be possessive

**kogayne:** go for it 

**lanceylance:** >:) he’s miiiiine

**kogayne:** :) 

**carrierpidgeon:** I THOUGHT I TOLD UR MUSHY ASSES TO KEEP IT TO URSELVES

**kogayne:** if u can’t handle this then valentine’s day will literally kill u

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**lanceylance:** YES

**hunkerdunker:** i’m looking forward to valentine’s day ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** see he has his priorities straight

**shayfromstatefarm:** “straight” is not the word i would use to describe the situation

**lanceylance:** he’s panned out the situation

**hunkerdunker:** trynregwgfbdfrnbd

**hunkerdunker:** thanks dude

**lanceylance:** i gotchu buddy

**mattata:** anyway keith good choice bc i’m pretty sure i’m coming down with something

**carrierpidgeon:** [throws holy water] DON’T TRY IT, DEMON

**mattata:** [shrieking] IT BURRRRRRRNS

**kogayne:** welp i’m definitely staying with lance then

 

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** I’M YELLING

**mattata:** what now

**hunkerdunker:** i can’t believe

**lanceylance:** SO WE’RE IN PHYSICS RIGHT

**allurable:** why is it always physics

**kogayne:** ??? it’s always thace why are u Wrong

**allurable:** shut up keith

**allurable:** i’ve known u for a long time i have dirt on u u don’t even know about

**kogayne:** u don’t scare me

**lanceylance:** CAN I CONTINUE THE STORY

**shayfromstatefarm:** SO HIRA’S CLASS OF JUNIORS WAS TRYING TO TEACH HER ABOUT VINES RIGHT

**lanceylance:** I THOUGHT I WAS TELLING THIS STORY

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE

**shayfromstatefarm:** THEY WERE TRYING TO TEACH HER ABOUT VINE

**lanceylance:** apparently they have a bunch of memelords in that class like us and she got confused but they’re bad at explaining

**lanceylance:** so WE thought it would be easier to show her

**lanceylance:** so we wasted half the period watching vines

**shayfromstatefarm:** her favorite is the one with the scottish-sounding guys in the car with the helium balloons bc it breaks physics

**allurable:** not surprised

**lanceylance:** we got out of doing work i’m so happy

**lanceylance:** we go to watch VINES

**lanceylance:** WHEN IS VINE 2 COMING

**carrierpidgeon:** more importantly, when is harry potter go coming

**lanceylance:** what, did u delete pokemon go

**carrierpidgeon:** no but i’d like a new game

**lanceylance:** love is a game

**carrierpidgeon:** tried it, lost, no desire to go back

**lanceylance:** :(

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s okay dude

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP

**hunkerdunker:** no u didn’t

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP

**kogayne:** dude it’s fine

**kogayne:** she said it’s fine

**lanceylance:** I FUCKED UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** text her

 

**_lanceylance > carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** I’M SORRY

**carrierpidgeon:** bro it’s okay, seriously

**carrierpidgeon:** i know u didn’t mean anything by it

**lanceylance:** :((( i still feel bad

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m over it

**lanceylance:** that’s a blatant lie and u know it

**carrierpidgeon:** i know

**lanceylance:** how is everything with [gestures vaguely] that

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean, we’re still friends

**carrierpidgeon:** close friends

**carrierpidgeon:** but

**carrierpidgeon:** just friends

**carrierpidgeon:** her girlfriend is still nice as ever

**carrierpidgeon:** u and keith got lucky, nyma and rolo are jackasses, they’re easy to hate

**lanceylance:** but plax

**carrierpidgeon:** i thought u said it was mutual

**lanceylance:** it was

**lanceylance:** doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt when it happened

**carrierpidgeon:** damn

**carrierpidgeon:** does keith know

**lanceylance:** um duh

**lanceylance:** besides i got over it eventually

**lanceylance:** look all i’m trying to say is you’ll be fine, high school’s high school

**lanceylance:** just live ur life

**carrierpidgeon:** is this where i go “NOT EVERYONE CAN BE NEUROTYPICAL, KAREN”

**lanceylance:** i’ve taught u well ;)

**lanceylance:** but i’m serious

**lanceylance:** u can get thru this

**carrierpidgeon:** ...how did u know ur other relationships weren’t meant to last

**lanceylance:** okay so u know that whole “marry ur best friend” thing

**lanceylance:** it felt a little like that with plax, except we weren’t *best* friends

**lanceylance:** we just happened to have a couple classes together

**lanceylance:** even when we got together, nothing really /changed/

**lanceylance:** we didn’t do a lot of coupley stuff

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m actually in shock

**lanceylance:** boi i tried

**lanceylance:** but after a while it became clear we just weren’t going anywhere

**lanceylance:** looking back on it, it was more of one of those “ur single. i’m single. let’s not be single.” things

**lanceylance:** and then nyma

**lanceylance:** that was such a...it’s a weird relationship to pick thru

**lanceylance:** i liked her

**lanceylance:** she was hot, i won’t deny it

**lanceylance:** but like

**lanceylance:** high school is for self-discovery, right

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah…

**lanceylance:** i felt trapped

**lanceylance:** at first i was like “aw hell yeah she’s lovin macho man lance”

**lanceylance:** but then there were other parts of myself i was discovering and she’d put me down

**lanceylance:** i mistook it as wisdom, trying to guide me in the right direction

**lanceylance:** i thought she was helping 

**lanceylance:** but i started feeling worse about myself and that was when i knew it wouldn’t work

**lanceylance:** i tried for a little bit 

**lanceylance:** but when our friend group got closer i realized i /wasn’t being treated right/

**carrierpidgeon:** and u fell for keith

**lanceylance:** yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** should i even ask how u knew he was the one

**carrierpidgeon:** ...he /is/ the one, right

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** he’s the one

**lanceylance:** i really can’t see myself without him, and that was one of the problems with my other relatonships: i /could/ see myself with other people

**lanceylance:** with keith, i really can’t

**carrierpidgeon:** how else do u know that

**lanceylance:** i can be myself with him, and that’s the most important thing

**lanceylance:** if u feel like u need to hide, or ur walking on eggshells, it’s not right

**lanceylance:** at least, from my experience

**lanceylance:** it’s easy to be open with him

**lanceylance:** we genuinely care about each others’ well-being

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna let u in on a secret

**carrierpidgeon:** ...secret?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m concerned

**lanceylance:** i mean, u really shouldn’t be

**lanceylance:** but no, i’m gonna impart some disney wisdom on u with this

**lanceylance:** to quote olaf the snowman

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU ARE NOT ABOUT TO QUOTE OLAF THE SNOWMAN

**lanceylance:** I’M QUOTING OLAF AND YOU CAN DEAL WITH IT

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t believe i’m about to get advice from a sentient snowman

**lanceylance:** love is about putting someone else’s needs before yours, yeah?

**carrierpidgeon:** tHAT’S SO CLICHE

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT’S NOT EVEN A SECRET

**lanceylance:** yeah but u wanna know what is

**carrierpidgeon:** what could u possibly tell me

**lanceylance:** keith and i have talked about breaking up

**lanceylance:** a lot

**carrierpidgeon:** ...you.

**carrierpidgeon:** and keith.

**lanceylance:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** DOES HE KNOW UR TELLING ME THIS

**lanceylance:** pls he’s been reading over my shoulder and lowkey crying since astronomy started

**carrierpidgeon:** hi keith u whipped little boy

**lanceylance:** he says “stfu i’m taller than u” but ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** but anyway

**lanceylance:** we’ve talked about it

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY

**carrierpidgeon:** UR THE CLINGIEST COUPLE I KNOW

**lanceylance:** yeah i know

**lanceylance:** but sometimes we wonder if the other wants out

**lanceylance:** sometimes we think the other deserves better

**lanceylance:** bc lbr keith’s way out of my league

**lanceylance:** and we still have this sort of agreement on the table

**lanceylance:** it’s not like...something we’re going thru with at the moment, but if we find we wanted to

**lanceylance:** we agreed that if we got to college, and we wanted to really test our relationship, we’d take a break, meet other people, and see if we click with anyone else

**lanceylance:** (which, i’m 99.9999999999% sure won’t happen, but)

**carrierpidgeon:** why is that even a thing

**lanceylance:** well the only reason i fell for keith was because i met him and we became friends

**lanceylance:** so our logic was

**lanceylance:** we’ll never know if there’s anyone better out there if we don’t put ourselves out there

**carrierpidgeon:** dude that just punched me in the heart

**carrierpidgeon:** this whole fucking time i’ve pictured u two as this perfect insufferable couple and???

**lanceylance:** no couple’s perfect, not even us

**lanceylance:** no matter how much we act like it

**carrierpidgeon:** d u d e

**carrierpidgeon:** how am i supposed to process that

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ consider it wisdom

**lanceylance:** we’re not perfect

**carrierpidgeon:** ...this got a lot deeper than i thought it would

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks, lance

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ no prob

**lanceylance:** gotta goooo keith is gonna stain my shoulder

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WHEN U SAID “GO TO LANCE FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE” U WEREN’T FUCKIN KIDDING

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so my dog got skunked last night for the second time in a week and it was 10x worse bc instead of happening in the middle of my backyard, it happened RIGHT at the back door so my house smells like shit and i didn't notice my bag and jacket smelled gross until i got to school and was no longer nose-blind
> 
> also, side note, on a day when i don't need perfume someone is spraying it and giving me a headache in the middle of class, but the one day i need it and nO ONE HAS IT??? I CAN'T WIN
> 
> also i'm almost done writing chapter 24 of sgd ;) (that was completely unrelated but ANYHOO)


	101. callback day (but like for real this time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> callbacks happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short mostly bc i ran out of inspiration and fell asleep and want to get to the valentine's chapter

**_shrieking_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** is it callback day finally

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** that’d be a yes

**allurable:** really? hadn’t noticed

**lanceylance:** I HAVE 0 SELF-CONFIDENCE RIGHT NOW

**lanceylance:** I’M GONNA FUCK UP I’M GONNA BE TENTACLE NUMBER THREE

**mattata:** tentacle

**mattata:** /tentacle/

**kogayne:** NO I SEE WHERE YOU’RE GOING WITH THIS, ABSOLUTELY NOT

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THIS MATT

**mattata:** :P

**takashmeoutside:** where are we getting tentacles from and why

**lanceylance:** in some versions of the show ursula has this big-ass dress and there are six kids who play tentacles and their job is to move them

**kogayne:** somehow i don’t think that’s the version we’re doing

**kogayne:** that would require a lot more set stuff than we have the material or the motivation for

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah how would that work, how would she move

**kogayne:** rolling platform, probably

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean, we’re starting early enough that maybe we could make one, but i really doubt we will

**carrierpidgeon:** this is high school not broadway

**hunkerdunker:** yeah, drama club doesn’t exactly get the kind of funding needed for a broadway-level show

**kogayne:** drama club barely gets the funding for a high school-level show

**lanceylance:** RTRHGGFMKHKRLHKMFKLMH WHERE IS THE LIE

**kogayne:** anyway, lance,

**lanceylance:** hnnnnnnnnn

**kogayne:** u got this

**kogayne:** i believe in u

**lanceylance:** :) thanks 

**kogayne:** and i bet the aliens believe in u too

**takashmeoutside:** why.

**kogayne:** because i can

**kogayne:** i’m telling u, they’re out there

**lanceylance:** u know what’s not out there

**lanceylance:** my motivation to get thru the school day

**lanceylance:** i just wanna get my callback over with and go to work 

**shayfromstatefarm:** you know what, i feel that

**hunkerdunker:** thirded

**allurable:** suck it up children

**lanceylance:** THE ONLY THING I SUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** is a straw. from dunkin. as u drink coffee. the end.

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**carrierpidgeon:** THE. END.

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMMMMM

**carrierpidgeon:** CAN SOMEONE CHANGE THE SUBJECT

**shayfromstatefarm:** valentine’s day is tomorrowwww~

**shayfromstatefarm:** i love valentine’s day, everyone is so soft

**allurable:** soft? on v day?

**allurable:** boi

**shayfromstatefarm:** i can have hopes and dreams, stop crushing them

**lanceylance:** i can’t wait till tomorrow to annoy the fuck out of the entire school with how much i love my boyfriend !

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk, we have to one-up them

**lanceylance:** one-up ME??? on VALENTINE’S DAY???????

**lanceylance:** in ur freakin DREAMS i am romancey lancey, love extraordinaire

**mattata:** omfg ur /what/

**lanceylance:** romancey lancey

**lanceylance:** bask in my presence

**kogayne:** gefwdfsgbdbgd why are u like this

**lanceylance:** because i am, deal with it

**lanceylance:** i am going to romancey the fuck out of u

**mattata:** dont u already do that

**lanceylance:** yes but

**lanceylance:** consider: i am going to do it even MORE

**hunkerdunker:** i can’t believe u haven’t maxed out on affection yet

**lanceylance:** my reserves of love are bottomless

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ im okay with it

**kogayne:** i enjoy being loved

**lanceylance:** i enjoy loving him

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge are u alive

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah why

**shayfromstatefarm:** u haven’t called them out yet

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re cute ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ tryna reboot my new year’s resolution

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re two weeks into february

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU CAN SELF-IMPROVE AT ANY TIME, SHAY

**kogayne:** u mean to tell me i can get my life in order right now

**lanceylance:** whoa magical

**kogayne:** too bad i’m not gonna

**lanceylance:** that’s like telling me i can do my homework at 10:01

**lanceylance:** like WHOOPS I MISSED 10, LET’S SHOOT FOR 10:05. OH, IT’S 10:07? 10:30 SOUNDS GOOD

**mattata:** i feel identified

**takashmeoutside:** can’t relate

**kogayne:** sorry not all of us are star students mr perfectionist

**allurable:** if he was such a perfectionist he’d have a better immune system than this

**allurable:** he’s still sick, matt’s sick, you know who’s not sick?

**allurable:** ME

**takashmeoutside:** i may be a perfectionist but you’re actually perfect

**allurable:** yeah and i don’t even have to try would u look at that

**takashmeoutside:** ...I’M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOU

**allurable:** *flips hair* yes and

**lanceylance:** QUEEN

**takashmeoutside:** matt back me up

**mattata:** YOU GOT ME SICK

**mattata:** granted i think it’s just a cold BUT

**takashmeoutside:** T R A G I C  i’ve been sick for over a week

**allurable:** tragic

**takashmeoutside:** ALLURA

**carrierpidgeon:** this is so funny aksjdjdf

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** REMINDER CALLBACKS ARE AFTER SCHOOL

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s impossible to forget, lance started screaming about it first thing this morning

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** my point exactly

**madplax:** naturally 

**madplax:** y’all will do fine

**lanceylance:** HNNNNN

**kogayne:** boi

**madplax:** yeah keith go romance ur man

**lotoreal:** [long sigh] can we go one day without this being a relationship group chat

**dinezor:** :O LOTOR is calling us out

**lotoreal:** yes, i am

**dinezor:** damn

**dinezor:** ax what should we do

**acxalutelynot:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**acxalutelynot:** tomorrow is the day to be mushy

**dinezor:** but we can be mushy every day

**carrierpidgeon:** boi

**dinezor:** KLANCE DOES IT

**floronawiththecorona:** klance is their own brand of obnoxious

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANE

**lanceylance:** HE’S THE BEST BOY I’VE EVER MET AND I’M SO LUCKY TO HAVE HIM AND CALL HIM MINE AND WE ARE GOING TO BE MUSHINESS SUPREME TOMORROW

**dinezor:** SEE THEY’RE SO CUTE

**acxalutelynot:** disgusting™ 

**zethridofmyproblems:** i love my girlfriend narti i wish she was in this group chat but she doesn’t want her phone blowing up 

**hunkerdunker:** I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND SHAY BELU SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL AND HAS THE SWEETEST SOUL

**carrierpidgeon:** oh boy we got one half of hunay jumping on the bandwagon

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK GARRETT IS THE MOST ANGELIC PERSON TO EXIST AND HE IS A BLESSING TO HAVE IN MY LIFE I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH

**carrierpidgeon:** there’s the other half

**kogayne:** lance *is* my other half

**kogayne:** my missing piece

**kogayne:** my soulmate

**lotoreal:** why

**madplax:** ^^^^

**floronawiththecorona:** i need a valentine to one-up them tomorrow

**dinezor:** AX AND I ALREADY NEED TO ONE-UP THEM, BACK OFF

**madplax:** SO ANYWAY TODAY IS CALLBACK DAY BE PREPARED TO HAUL ASS TO THE AUDITORIUM WHEN THE BELL RINGS

**madplax:** also so there’s less confusion when we get down there if u have a callback pick a partner bc we’re starting off with partner reads i’m pretty sure

**floronawiththecorona:** PLAX

**hunkerdunker:** SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK

**dinezor:** LOTOR

**lanceylance:** u absolute heathens

**lanceylance:** smh i’ll read with one of the underclassmen bc i’m nice like that

**kogayne:** worse comes to worst u read with me and we just tell the director i’m not actually part of the audition process

**lanceylance:** smh boi u need to go to work

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** i literally drove u to school i’m ur RIDE

**lanceylance:** ;))))

**carrierpidgeon:** I WANT BLEACH

**kogayne:** wow first time u’ve said that in a while

**carrierpidgeon:** CORRAL YOUR BOYFRIEND

**lanceylance:** yeah keith, come corral me~

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**madplax:** i hate that this group chat is necessary

**madplax:** i’ll be seeing u heathens after school

 

**_shrieking_ **

**allurable:** so how did callbacks go

**lanceylance:** I AM A BALL OF NERVES WE DON’T KNOW WHEN THE CAST LIST IS COMING

**lanceylance:** I THOUGHT I DID REALLY WELL BUT????? THERE WAS A LOT OF TALENT THERE AND I AM INFERIOR

**hunkerdunker:** no ur not

**hunkerdunker:** half the guys were straining and the others were overcompensating

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^ u’ve got nothing to worry about

**lanceylance:** I HAVE ANXIETY

**kogayne:** you’ll be fine

**kogayne:** anyway on a completely unrelated note, is it safe to return home yet

**takashmeoutside:** i think the worst of it has passed 

**takashmeoutside:** matt went home and allura’s been at his house today

**takashmeoutside:** if u wanna come back go ahead

**kogayne:** cool bc i’m running out of my own clothes to wear, i’ve mostly been wearing lance’s the last two days

**lanceylance:** yes and u look adorable doing so

**kogayne:** <333

**allurable:** aw 

**mattata:** das cute

**mattata:** but not as cute as allura and shiro

**mattata:** ya know, when shiro’s not hurling his guts up

**takashmeoutside:** was the callout necessary

**mattata:** yes absolutely

**kogayne:** cool so after work i’m bringing lance home and then coming back to my own home so i can prepare his surprises for tomorrow

**lanceylance:** B O I

**lanceylance:** U THINK U CAN ONE-UP ME ON VDAY

**kogayne:** FIGHT ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk we can beat them right

**hunkerdunker:** i’m winning this thing

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway for valentine’s day i’m oiling rover’s joints :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have a nice day the vday chapter will be going up later
> 
> IN THE MEANTIME, IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, STARS GO DOWN UPDATED YESTERDAY  
> [CHAPTER 24](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/31404168) IS HERE >:) HAVE FUN


	102. it's vday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a lot of sappy klance here what else is new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanna talk season 5 theories in the end note bc tHAT TRAILER DAMN

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** happy valentine’s day dear boy of mine, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and my life would be the absolute worst without you. i know lately i put u thru hell and back with stuff i was going thru and u were there with me the whole time and i’m grateful u didn’t just like, turn around and walk away, u stayed. i know ur really worried abt college and what’s gonna happen to us when we meet new people but i’m tELLIN YOU (no matter how much u don’t believe me) that i’m gonna meet those people and be like “yeah i’m cool but u know who’s cooler, my bOYFRIEND KEITH, LOOK AT HIM I’M GONNA MARRY HIM LOOK AT HOW LUCKY I AM” bc i love u more than i’ve ever loved anyone. like. before u i did not know how much love i possessed bc i have never felt this intensely abt anyone, i could never truly picture a future with anyone until i met u. i love u sosososo much, im not going anywhere. i can’t /see/ myself going anywhere unless you’re at my side. and i want you there. i’ll always want u there. i fucking love u and i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with u. happy valentine’s day, starlight  <3

**kogayne:** happy valentine’s day to the person who matters most in my life. watching u talk with pidge the other day kinda eased my nerves bc i am so scared. i’m so fucking scared. i have never felt this way about anyone before, for a long time i wasn’t sure i was /capable/ of something like this but when we started dating i was  g o n e. you are the sweetest boy i know, you push me when i need in all the right ways but know when i just need comfort and you ALWAYS make sure i’m safe and comfortable and i’m so????? i never thought i could receive that kind of affection?? you’re so gentle with me but at the same time you’re so energetic and i love it. i love it so much. youre my soulmate, thats the only way i can put it. i feel every time i look at u, i know it deep in my bones. i love you so much. i don’t know where i’d be without you. we’re nearing 2 years together...here’s to many more :)

**lanceylance:** fjdjdjdjsj DID WE TEXT AT THE SAME TIME

**kogayne:** I HAD THAT PREPPED SINCE 11:45

**lanceylance:** I WAS READY SINCE 11:24 SUCK IT

**kogayne:** I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA

**lanceylance:** IF HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU IS ANY INDICATION THEN I THINK I KNOW

**lanceylance:** i promise you i promise i promise i prOM I S E  im not going anywhere, not without you

**lanceylance:** you and me, us against the world

**kogayne:** im holding you to that

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** you are so, so sO important to me

**lanceylance:** king of my heart

**kogayne:** tergbdgrd don’t make  me flueurted liek this

**lanceylance:** liek dis if u cri evry tiem

**lanceylance:** ALSO! i’m driving us tomorrow

**lanceylance:** well today i guess

**lanceylance:** and then after work i gotta go to an ashes service with my family

**lanceylance:** BUT

**lanceylance:** i’ll either drop u at home or u can come with

**lanceylance:** BUT THEN

**lanceylance:** AFTERWARD 

**lanceylance:** I’VE GOT SOMETHING PLANNED

**kogayne:** GFHNFGERFDGFH I HAD SOMETHING PLANNED

**lanceylance:** BOI

**kogayne:** I’M TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC

**kogayne:** anyway thanks for the invite but i’ll skip out

**kogayne:** not really my thing

**lanceylance:** that’s fine!! 

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY i hope you’re ready for me to be even more obnoxious than i was on national boyfriend day

**kogayne:** LANCE IF WE END UP IN THE OFFICE AGAIN

**lanceylance:** COME ON WE’VE GOT A NEW PRINCIPAL, ROLO’S ON WATCH, AND PAUL’S GONE

**kogayne:** SHIT U RIGHT

**lanceylance:** GONNA MAKE THE WHOLE SCHOOL KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

**kogayne:** ...NOT IF I BEAT YOU TO IT

**lanceylance:** I WILL OUT-MUSH YOU

**kogayne:** YOU CAN FUCKIN TRY

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT GOOD NIGHT SWEETHEART

**kogayne:** GOOD NIGHT DARLING

**lanceylance:** DEAR

**kogayne:** SNOOKUMS

**lanceylance:** SWEETCHEEKS

**kogayne:** PUMPKIN

**lanceylance:** PUDDIN

**kogayne:** SUGARPIE

**lanceylance:** BABYCAKES

**kogayne:** HONEY

**lanceylance:** i can’t believe this is what we’re doing at midnight on a wednesday

**kogayne:** wouldn’t have it any other way

**kogayne:** scratch that i would

**lanceylance:** what

**kogayne:** i would love to see this play out sometime in the future

**kogayne:** our kids are sleeping

**kogayne:** we’re sharing a bed

**kogayne:** and i’m looking deep into ur eyes thinking about how much i wanna shut u up with a kiss

**lanceylance:** TYTNGHEGRSGHGNGRSF KEITH WHA THRE FUCK HYOYU NCAN’T DONT’ HTURHIS TON ME

**kogayne:** CAN AND DID, FUCKER

**kogayne:** GOOD NIGHT STARBOY

**lanceylance:** GOOD NIGHT STARLIGHT

 

**_shrieking_ **

**takashmeoutside:** lance is on my shit list

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT DID HE DO

**takashmeoutside:** showed up

**takashmeoutside:** at fucking 6:30 IN THE MORNING

**takashmeoutside:** AND STARTED SERENADING KEITH OUTSIDE OF HIS WINDOW

**allurable:** THAT’S THE CUTEST OMFG

**takashmeoutside:** I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP

**lanceylance:** >:)

**lanceylance:** BOYFRIEND SPAM LOOK AT HOW LOVELY HE IS

_ (34) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** UMMM EXCUSE ME BUT LOOK AT /MY/ BOYFRIEND

_ (46) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** this is cute but you people are the reason i am rUNNING OUT OF STORAGE ON THIS FUCKIN PHONE

**hunkerdunker:** wow i was almost late to the party but

**hunkerdunker:** my girlfriend easily beats out the both of you

_ (25) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** aww u guys are cute but i win, look at my hunky ( ;) ) boyfriend

_ (67) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW ARE U SENDING THIS MANY ON THE SCHOOL WIFI

**lanceylance:** i’m not using the wifi

**kogayne:** we have really good service in antok’s room

**hunkerdunker:** i have good service in culinary

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^ same for design

**carrierpidgeon:** good service in two different wings? impossible

**carrierpidgeon:** bc the service is AWFUL in chem

**carrierpidgeon:** none of ur photos are loading and mY BATTERY IS CRYING

**allurable:** does that mean i should spare u from my spam of photos of matt and shiro

**carrierpidgeon:** allura if u spam i will fight u

**mattata:** ...I HAVE NO REGRETS SHALLURA SPAM INCOMING

_ (45) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**allurable:** ...well in that case, HERE COMES SHATT

_ (87) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**takashmeoutside:** omfg

**takashmeoutside:** U TWO HAVE SO MANY PHOTOS

**takashmeoutside:** ...but not as many as me :)

_ (103) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** MY PHONE JUST SHUT OFF FOR A SOLID TWO MINUTES

**kogayne:** SHIRO WHAT THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** smh is this ur revenge from this morning

**takashmeoutside:** absolutely

**lanceylance:** MMMM

**hunkerdunker:** anyway

**hunkerdunker:** gonna go

**hunkerdunker:** shay i’ll see u period 3  <33333

**shayfromstatefarm:** <33333333

**lanceylance:** keith i’ll see u at lunch but also i’ll probably send u snaps all day so

**kogayne:** :)

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** ALL IN FAVOR OF MEETING UP AT THE HOLT HOUSE TO TAKE CARE OF DEAR MATTHEW ON THIS DAY OF LOVE SAY I

**allurable:** I

**mattata:** i

**takashmeoutside:** i

**takashmeoutside:** allura can u pick me up

**allurable:** yeah sure

**allurable:** binge bad romcoms all day?

**mattata:** oh HELL YES

**takashmeoutside:** YES

**allurable:** :) when we get there we need to get snacks and blankets

**allurable:** as the only not-diseased person, i’m in charge of snacks

**mattata:** i’ll be the burrito on the couch

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll raid the linen closet

**allurable:** alright gO TEAM GO

 

**_shrieking_ **

**hunkerdunker:** update

**hunkerdunker:** keith,

**kogayne:** yes

**hunkerdunker:** why did u fail to mention that lance is carrying around his freaking GUITAR

**kogayne:** he won’t tell me why but i have a suspicion he’s going to embarrass me at lunch

**lanceylance:** >;)

**kogayne:** little does he know,,,

**lanceylance:** LITTLE DO I KNOW WHAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** dghtntgerdfgdrd

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m on the edge of my seat here guys

**kogayne:** it’s a surprise ;)

**hunkerdunker:** if it’s anything like the giant teddy bears shay and i somehow both got each other

**lanceylance:** OH YEAH

**lanceylance:** GUYS LOOK HOW CUTE HUNK AND SHAY ARE

_ (5) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** how did u both end up buying each other teddy bears that big and how have u made it this far in the day with them

**carrierpidgeon:** what are u going to do at lunch with them

**shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** i dunno what’s funnier

**kogayne:** 1\. they got each other the same big-ass bear

**kogayne:** 2\. they have to lug them around all day bc they won’t fit in a locker

**kogayne:** 3\. they’re not the only students with them

**kogayne:** 4\. not once has the administration said a word

**shayfromstatefarm:** the administration is even feeling the love

**lanceylance:** the school is apparently much more relaxed under kolivan

**lanceylance:** let’s put it to the test

**shayfromstatefarm:** LANCE

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE NO

**carrierpidgeon:** who are u, keith

**lanceylance:** LANCE YES

**kogayne:** ...lance yes

**hunkerdunker:** KEITH

**kogayne:** HE’S MY IMPULSE CONTROL IT DOES NOT GO THE OTHER WAY AROUND

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m pretty sure i have receipts somewhere that say otherwise

**kogayne:** OKAY MOST OF THE TIME IT’S NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND

**carrierpidgeon:** …

**kogayne:** OKAY IT’S 50/50

**lanceylance:** LET HIM ENCOURAGE THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

**takashmeoutside:** we already went thru this once with keith come onnnn

**takashmeoutside:** YOU’RE INTERRUPTING MY DATE

**kogayne:** date

**allurable:** AYYYY WE’RE WATCHIN A MOVIE HERE

**carrierpidgeon:** hrtewrdtgf you’re not even from new york

**mattata:** no she’s not she walked straight out of my dreams

**kogayne:** are you and shiro trying to outdo each other on pickup lines

**kogayne:** bc between the perfection line yesterday, and now this

**allurable:** he doesn’t know that i’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream

**lanceylance:** and then there’s allura, the queen she is

**allurable:** :)

**mattata:** anyway can we go now, i want to get back to being cuddled

**carrierpidgeon:** ...who’s house

**mattata:** ours

**carrierpidgeon:** HNNNN GUESS I’M GONNA GO TO THE LIBRARY AFTER SCHOOL OR SOMETHIN

**carrierpidgeon:** CONSIDERING SHAY DIDN’T PUT ME ON THE SCHEDULE TODAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I WAS GONNA GIVE U A DAY OFF 

**shayfromstatefarm:** I COULDN’T HAVE PREDICTED THAT

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s fine i’ve got a research paper to write anyway

**carrierpidgeon:** may as well get it done instead of putting it off

**lanceylance:** lmfao can’t relate

**lanceylance:** there are like four different worksheets for physics i haven’t even started but it’s okay!! 

**lanceylance:** they’re not due until our next test and until i know when that is

**lanceylance:** nothing is getting done

**hunkerdunker:** why are u like this

**lanceylance:** because i can

**lanceylance:** who’s stopping me

**kogayne:** lance get it DONE so you don’t have a mENTAL BREAKDOWN WHEN UR WORK INEVITABLY BECOMES TOO MUCH

**lanceylance:** fine then do u wanna do them with me this weekend mr “i’m gonna reprimand lance like my own worksheets are sitting untouched in my folder”

**kogayne:** :O

**lanceylance:** u ain’t slick i watch u

**lanceylance:** ur so damn attractive it’s distracting

**kogayne:** BOI

**carrierpidgeon:** why are people in relationships so weird

**carrierpidgeon:** this school’s on a love trip i can’t deal

**hunkerdunker:** ACTUALLY I HAVE AN ANSWER ON THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** leave it to u

**hunkerdunker:** love triggers chemical changes in the brain that deactivate the frontal cortex

**hunkerdunker:** the frontal cortex plays a big role in judgment

**hunkerdunker:** ur dopamine levels also rise and ur serotonin levels go down which is why u get anxious and jittery

**hunkerdunker:** there’s also a disconnect with the amygdala, which is responsible for processing fear and stuff

**lanceylance:** smh antok should’ve taught us about this today

**lanceylance:** all we did was prep for the test next week

**lanceylance:** WHICH IS ON THIS SHIT

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk why do u know this

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i got bored

**kogayne:** seems legit

 

**_SCHOOL SQUAD_ **

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m selling them for one corn chip first come first serve

**dinezor:** OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS

**zethridofmyproblems:** it’s called “lance started serenading keith but then keith turned it into a duet and now the whole cafeteria’s involved”

**dinezor:** LEGENDS

**lotoreal:** why are people in relationships so strange

**hunkerdunker:** SCIENCE HERE I EXPLAINED IT EARLIER ACTUALLY

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**sippinganartini:** i just listened to the video

**sippinganartini:** keith did you audition for the little mermaid

**kogayne:** nah

**kogayne:** not my thing

**acxalutelynot:** “not my thing” what the fuck dude

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i don’t exactly have stage presence

**kogayne:** and i’m a lot more comfortable backstage

**lanceylance:** u would make a killer eric tho, u’ve got the looks

**lotoreal:** i can’t argue that

**acxalutelynot:** ^^^

**dinezor:** AS GAY AS I AM

**kogayne:** welcome to the club

**sippinganartini:** yep i totally 100% agree with this assessment of keith’s appearance

**dinezor:** NARTI U CAN’T DO THIS TO ME

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry guys but acting? no thanks

**kogayne:** stage crew means i can wear all black and not feel guilty about it

**carrierpidgeon:** u already wear all black without feeling guilty about it

**kogayne:** shhhh

**kogayne:** o h SHIT BRB

**lotoreal:** what’s going on

**zethridofmyproblems:** lance’s ex

**lotoreal:** ...judging the reaction, i’m going to assume we’re not talking about plax

**zethridofmyproblems:** correct, plax isn’t in this lunch wave

**dinezor:** ew nyma

**dinezor:** what’s going on, give me the play-by-play

**zethridofmyproblems:** i mean, it’s nothing huge?

**zethridofmyproblems:** she started walking toward their lunch table with this Look on her face

**sippinganartini:** define look

**zethridofmyproblems:** immense annoyance and displeasure

**zethridofmyproblems:** and like??? anger?????? but not anger??????

**lotoreal:** what do u mean but not anger

**zethridofmyproblems:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**sippinganartini:** i did not need my text-to-speech going “shrugging emoticon” six times in a row

**zethridofmyproblems:** whoops sorry narti

**kogayne:** OKAY WELL

**lotoreal:** what happened?

**kogayne:** she got pissy because we “interrupted” a “peaceful lunch” but then she like

**lanceylance:** I WANT MURDER

**kogayne:** lowkey flirted with lance

**kogayne:** a little

**carrierpidgeon:** real subtle

**carrierpidgeon:** if u didn’t know what was going on you’d be oblivious

**dinezor:** wait is there something going on

**kogayne:** shit

**hunkerdunker:** uh

**lanceylance:** yeah there is, i got a drunk text from her one night and she might still like me but we’re not sure

**lotoreal:** w h a t

**acxalutelynot:** OH SHIT

**dinezor:** TEA TEA TEA TEA TEA

**kogayne:** so we texted rolo

**kogayne:** bc mr moral compass over here was like “we don’t know if she’s safe, we should tell her boyfriend”

**kogayne:** except he’s not her boyfriend anymore

**dinezor:** I THOUGHT THAT RUMOR WAS FAKE

**kogayne:** nope

**shayfromstatefarm:** they broke up

**kogayne:** i’m pretty sure rolo now has it out for lance but he hasn’t done anything so we can’t prove anything but we have a Feeling

**lanceylance:** he also probably has it out for keith in general but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ no proof means we can’t do anything

**lanceylance:** but ANYWAY 

**carrierpidgeon:** she was still talking to lance so lance literally grabbed keith by the shirt and started kissing him till she went away

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**dinezor:** omfg

**lotoreal:** ...ew

**lanceylance:** gotta show EVERYONE, including the FUCKING BRICKS OF THIS SCHOOL, that i have a BOYFRIEND and i LOVE HIM and i’m GOING TO MARRY HIM AND START A FAMILY WITH HIM

**lanceylance:** she literally

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmMMMMM I’M SO ANGRY

**lanceylance:** she still thinks i like her and that’s so fucking weird to me, i hate her

**dinezor:** how come u hate her and not plax

**lanceylance:** the nature of the breakups

**lanceylance:** there’s shit i don’t wanna get into but basically nyma is awful and never grew out of it  >:(

**carrierpidgeon:** start another song to spite her

**lanceylance:** …

**lanceylance:** >:)

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** you guys are the absolute wORST

**shayfromstatefarm:** whatever did we do this time, katie

**carrierpidgeon:** THE HOSA ADVISOR CAME TO OUR ROOM TO GIVE THE FLOWER GRAMS AND CANDY GRAMS AND I WASN’T EXPECTING ANY BUT YOU FUCKERS

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU!!! FUCKERS!!!!!!

**kogayne:** happy valentine’s day sis

**lanceylance:** we love u!!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** happy vday pidge!!!

**hunkerdunker:** <3333333 

**carrierpidgeon:** I DON’T DESERVE U GUYS

**kogayne:** yes u do

**shayfromstatefarm:** our lives would be dull without u

**lanceylance:** besides we need to have /someone/ to carry on our legacy

**carrierpidgeon:** grtgfwdgdfsgd the chaos legacy?? bc i’m actively doing that right now

**carrierpidgeon:** no one knows who i got these from and i’m not spilling

**lanceylance:** THAT’S OUR GIRL

**kogayne:** YES CONFUSE THEM

**hunkerdunker:** chaotic evil

**carrierpidgeon:** >:)

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** pssst

**lanceylance:** ashes service is done

**lanceylance:** get dressed in something nice but comfy

**lanceylance:** not super formal but not too casual

**kogayne:** yeah idk how to do that 

**lanceylance:** i could come help u ;)

**kogayne:** do it then

**lanceylance:** oH

**kogayne:** where is this mystery date anyway

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ where are u taking me after

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ where are we going before i take u out

**lanceylance:** i see how it is

**lanceylance:** alright luz de las estrellas, i’ll play ur game

**lanceylance:** i’ll be over soon  <333

**kogayne:** can’t wait  <3333333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SEASON 5 DISCUSSION
> 
> **if u haven't seen the trailer or don't want to see any theories then skip back down to the next bolded line**
> 
> SO THESE ARE BOTH THEORIES, THOUGHTS, OBSERVATIONS, AND WISHES I'M JUST GONNA BULLET POINT  
> -black paladin lance black paladin lance black paladin lance bLACK PALADIN LANCE BLACK PALADIN LANCE   
> -WHAT'S UP WITH THE WHITE LION, i wonder if it's a) a manifestation of allura's powers or b) something created by zarkon (there was a theory going around bc she looks defensive in that shot and not like, shocked or awed)  
> -THERE'S THAT PHOTO CIRCULATING OF KEITH. WHAT'S HE LOOKING AT??? I HAVE SEVERAL THEORIES  
> \--he finds his mom  
> \--maybe or maybe not connected to the first point, he finds out acxa is his sister or something (they're connected somehow i sWEAR)  
> \--he finds the real shiro (i'm still fully on board the "kuron is with the team right now" theory)  
> \--alternatively or in conjunction with the previous point, he finds out kuron is a clone   
> \---ALSO, he could find this out when he sees shiro is being held hostage, or lotor and kuron are holding another teammate hostage (i have a lot of ideas alright)  
> -i don't trust lotor  
> -DOES LOTOR FIGHT SENDAK??? HOW DID THEY EVEN FIND SENDAK?????  
> -lmao rolo and nyma being their allies is so weird given the direction i took them in this fanfic rterdgfdgf  
> -it looks like the team splits for two missions?? hunk, lance, and allura on one and pidge, matt, and shiro on the other??? (that second team smells suspiciously like a fanfic i wrote ',:/ mmm)  
> -can i get coleadership klance. pls.  
> -lance unlocks jawblades in red, we've only ever seen black use them :O  
> -WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL FIVE PALADINS USE THEIR BAYARDS  
> -i highkey want keith to come back and be a paladin again  
> -?????? [loud shrieking]
> 
> **okay you can stop skipping now**
> 
> idk when the next chapter is gonna be, i have a half day and then i'm on break so i wanna work on sgd and also oneshots bc i still have a fuckton of prompts left from two months ago
> 
> byeeee


	103. a...DRAMAtic chapter...GET IT? smh you'll see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the cast list is out; someone can't just seem to leave keith and lance alone. also lots of klance bc i love them and miss them and monday i literally cried about them being soft. why am i speaking in the summary. AAAAAAAAAAA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SORRY FOR THE FACT THAT IT'S BEEN LIKE A WEEK SINCE THE LAST UPDATE
> 
> there were like 3 different chapters i started over the long weekend that all got scrapped
> 
> i meant to update other fanfics in that time and it just...didn't happen
> 
> ANYWAY HERE'S THE CHAPTER, IT'S A LONG ONE
> 
> **minor trigger warning for...okay, so like, not neglect, but like...childhood isolation. i guess. IT'S MILD DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH**

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey

**lanceylance:** dude it’s 4 AM

**kogayne:** why are u awake then

**lanceylance:** ...no reason

**lanceylance:** what’s up

**kogayne:** you still love me, right?

**lanceylance:** i’m pretty sure my feelings go beyond love at this point but yes 

**lanceylance:** why

**kogayne:** oh thank god

**lanceylance:** what’s going on??

**kogayne:** i had a dream and we broke up and i woke up in a cold sweat and couldn’t tell if it actually happened or not

**lanceylance:** yeah that’s not called a dream that’s a nightmare

**lanceylance:** anyway u wanna describe it to me so we know what to avoid

**kogayne:** it was just really fucking ridiculous

**kogayne:** we were arguing but neither of us were willing to back down and listen and then we just started throwing insults and???? feelings got hurt

**kogayne:** mostly mine

**lanceylance:** oof

**lanceylance:** do u remember what the fight started over????

**kogayne:** i don’t even know i think it had to do with one of us self-isolating and the other exploding but i’m not sure

**kogayne:** which would be ironic, bc we both self-isolate

**lanceylance:** yeah…

**lanceylance:** wow we both really need to work on that

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** i’ve been trying

**lanceylance:** i noticed

**lanceylance:** so have i

**lanceylance:** listen...even if u feel like u really need to be isolated...or like u need to hide from everyone...don’t hide from me

**lanceylance:** please let me in

**lanceylance:** i won’t pry, i won’t judge, i’ll be a wall between u and the world if i have to

**kogayne:** i’ll try

**kogayne:** and i want u to do the same

**kogayne:** let me be there

**lanceylance:** alright

**kogayne:** hey...if u don’t mind me asking...why /do/ u self-isolate?

**kogayne:** i mean, u know why i do

**kogayne:** but when we first met and became friends, you always struck me as the kind of person to like, i dunno

**kogayne:** rant about their problems public-forum style and get advice

**lanceylance:** i think it’s just the way i grew up

**lanceylance:** i mean, logically, you’d think in a big family i’d be fighting for attention constantly

**lanceylance:** which i mean

**kogayne:** you in sixth grade through freshman year

**lanceylance:** yeah i was a little shit

**lanceylance:** but no, i think it mostly stems from growing up in a big family

**lanceylance:** i’m the youngest of seven, u know what i mean?

**lanceylance:** the last to accomplish everything

**lanceylance:** my parents meant well and i know they tried their hardest but sometimes i could tell when things just weren’t impressive anymore

**lanceylance:** “oh lance made the honor roll! ...literally all of our other kids have done this it’s not exciting.”

**lanceylance:** i remember there being a span of a few months where i just wouldn’t say anything and would just let my older siblings talk all the time

**kogayne:** ...which is where the need for validation at school came from

**kogayne:** but then u didn’t wanna be seen as a burden, bc u were always so energetic, so u internalized ur problems

**lanceylance:** yes A+ psychoanalysis dr. mullet what would i do without u

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** anyway, it got better, eventually

**lanceylance:** yknow when my siblings grew up and moved out

**lanceylance:** i just wish it’d been easier a lot sooner

**kogayne:** :(

**kogayne:** you know, i think ur pretty damn cool

**lanceylance:** :)

**lanceylance:** ur cute

**kogayne:** seriously

**kogayne:** i promise right now u will never ever feel like no one cares ever again bc i will always care

**kogayne:** always

**kogayne:** ur my better half and the things u do are amazing

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaah :) i love u so much it’s physically painful

**kogayne:** i miss you

**lanceylance:** i mean, we saw each other this afternoon

**kogayne:** doesn’t change the fact that i miss u

**kogayne:** especially given we just broke up in dreamland

**lanceylance:** tell our dreamland selves to get their shit together

**lanceylance:** if we’re soulmates we’re supposed to be together in every reality

**kogayne:** u think if i try lucid dreaming i can get in there and yell at them

**lanceylance:** YO LUCID DREAMING IS REALLY TRIPPY AND WE HAVE TO BE AWAKE IN TWO HOURS

**kogayne:** yeah speaking of sleep GO TO BED, LANCE

**lanceylance:** noooo

**kogayne:** WHY HAVE U BEEN AWAKE THIS LONG

**lanceylance:** calc

**kogayne:** boi

**kogayne:** u could’ve asked for answers

_ (6) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** fill them out in the morning now gO TO SLEEP DAMMIT

**lanceylance:** fine

**lanceylance:** thanks baby

**kogayne:** BED

**lanceylance:** I’M GOING

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** HEY FUCKERS

**madplax:** RUMOR HAS IT THE CAST LIST IS GOING ON TWITTER BY THE BEGINNING OF SECOND PERIOD

**madplax:** PSYCH URSELVES OUT

**lanceylance:** [shrieking]

**madplax:** THAT’S THE SPIRIT

**dinezor:** any word on who got what

**madplax:** nope just know it’s going up soon

**madplax:** have fun spending these twenty minutes losing ur shit!

**kogayne:** plax u absolute shithead

**madplax:** ;D

**kogayne:** LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE, NOW HE’S GOT ANXIETY

**madplax:** boi he had anxiety back when i was dating him

**lanceylance:** [louder shrieking]

**kogayne:** LOOK AT HIM HE’S A DISASTER

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** okay but is lance actually flipping out or is he just being dramatic in the group chat while meanwhile irl he’s probably half-asleep on top of keith

**lanceylance:** u can’t call me out like this

**carrierpidgeon:** (⌐■_■) sure i can

**lanceylance:** nopenopenopenope me and keith are the sunglasses squad 

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■) not anymore

**lanceylance:** WOW BETRAYED BY MY OWN BOYFRIEND

**floronawiththecorona:** what a tragedy

**hunkerdunker:** a lot of shakespeare characters dealt with tragedy, maybe this is a sign lance should be the lead

**lanceylance:** okay the little mermaid was hans christian andersen, not willy shakes

**kogayne:** wow so cultured

**lanceylance:** yeah i know, aren’t i charming?

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is the little mermaid not cinderella

**lanceylance:** OKAY LISTEN HERE SHAY,

**shayfromstatefarm:** :)

**lanceylance:** don’t passive-aggressively smile at me

**lanceylance:** hunk corral ur gf 

**hunkerdunker:** no she’s got free will i’m gonna let her use it

**lanceylance:** worst best friend ever

**hunkerdunker:** yep

**lotoreal:** are we sure plaxum doesn’t have the cast list and isn’t hiding it from us on purpose

**madplax:** I SWEAR

**lanceylance:** you know, legolas over here makes a good point

**lotoreal:** how long have u been sitting on that one

**lanceylance:** a long time

**lotoreal:** and you’re proud of yourself, aren’t you?

**lanceylance:** oh of course

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** HEY FUCKERS

**lanceylance:** NOT AGAIN

_ (1) photo from  _ **_madplax_ **

**madplax:** HERE IT IS

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T LOOK KEITH LOOK FOR ME

 

**_shrieking_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** hey Adults the cast list is here thought u might wanna know

**lanceylance:** KEITH I’M DYING DID I GET A ROLE

**carrierpidgeon:** dude u got a fucking callback

**carrierpidgeon:** that being said,

**carrierpidgeon:** ensemble

**lanceylance:** UR SHITTING ME

**hunkerdunker:** she is, in fact, shitting you

**kogayne:** u got eric u nerd

**lanceylance:** UR SHITTING ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith is not, in fact, shitting you

**lanceylance:** WAIT REALLY

**lanceylance:** HOLY SHIT

**lanceylance:** OHLY SHIRT Y

**lanceylance:** OH MY GOD I’M GONNA CRY

**hunkerdunker:** AND I GOT TRITON

**lanceylance:** HUNK I’M GONNA CRY HARDER

**shayfromstatefarm:** and guess who managed, somehow, to get ursula?

**lanceylance:** SHAY YES GO GIRL

**lanceylance:** I’M GONNA CRY ON ALL THREE OF OUR BEHALFS

**lanceylance:** behalfs? behalves?

**carrierpidgeon:** google says either or

**allurable:** AAAA CONGRATS MY CHILDREN

**allurable:** U SNAPPED THOSE FIBULAS

**lanceylance:** HOW DID U FIND OUT ABOUT THAT MEME

**kogayne:** i told shiro and shiro had to tell his loves bc when doesn’t he tell them things

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**takashmeoutside:** CONGRATS GUYS

**mattata:** YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH GO LEGACIES

**mattata:** WHEN DO REHEARSALS START

**lanceylance:** MONDAY

**lanceylance:** I HAVE MY LIFE BACK

**kogayne:** you’ve had a life in the off season

**lanceylance:** yeah but i missed drama

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i should’ve put money on this casting

**carrierpidgeon:** plax, congrats but we all saw it coming from like a mile away

**carrierpidgeon:** congrats to everyone tbh

**madplax:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ thanks dude

**lotoreal:** congratulations everyone

**floronawiththecorona:** congrats guys!!

**acxalutelynot:** congrats guys

**zethridofmyproblems:** CONGRATS GUYS!

**lanceylance:** CONGRATS EVERYONE!!

**hunkerdunker:** congrats everyone

**shayfromstatefarm:** congratulations everyone!!

**kogayne:** congrats to the cast and preemptive congrats to the crew bc these sets, oh boy,

 

**_shrieking_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WHO WANTS TEA

**lanceylance:** GIRL SPILL

**allurable:** wait what flavor of tea are we drinking

**carrierpidgeon:** drama flavor

**takashmeoutside:** ...aren’t all of these sorts of teas drama flavored

**carrierpidgeon:** /drama/ flavored

**mattata:** WHO’S SALTY ABOUT CASTING SPILL THE TEA

**carrierpidgeon:** gtrewrtrgfed okay so listen there are these kids in my civics class right

**carrierpidgeon:** and they know i’m super involved with crew and friends with all the drama seniors

**carrierpidgeon:** these kids have siblings in like, junior year and other sophomore friends who auditioned and wanted BIG ROLES

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re talking ursula, ariel, eric, the whole nine yards

**carrierpidgeon:** and they’re now considering dropping the show

**lanceylance:** WEAK ASSES

**kogayne:** how are u gonna claim to love doing theatre and then drop the minute u don’t get the role u want

**hunkerdunker:** honestly that sends such a bad message to the directors

**carrierpidgeon:** also they’re a lil miffed by casting for like the chef, scuttle, all them

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i agree scuttle should’ve been the chef and the chef should’ve been...idfk just not the chef

**allurable:** yeah i did think some of that casting was strange, just based on what i’ve heard about your school

**kogayne:** yeah some of that casting is definitely off BUT THESE LEADS THO

**kogayne:** the guy who got eric is really hot?? apparently???? and can sing like an angel???

**lanceylance:** gryrterwfetrhgefd ur makin me blush, kogane

**kogayne:** then i’m doing my job and i’m doing it well

**carrierpidgeon:** heathens

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYWAY you already know half of ensemble is gonna drop for one reason or another

**shayfromstatefarm:** “wow this is a bigger commitment than i thought bye”

**kogayne:** “damn didn’t get the part i wanted, peace out”

**lanceylance:** “lmfao no one cares about ensemble later losers”

**allurable:** WHY IS THAT STILL A THING

**allurable:** THAT WAS SUCH A PROBLEM IN OUR YEARS

**mattata:** one show we almost didn’t have an ensemble

**mattata:** watching cast scramble was equal parts hilarious and terrifying, bc cast and crew were still at each others’ throats back then

**takashmeoutside:** the cast was tense as hell and taking it out on us

**mattata:** WE JUST WANTED TO MOVE SETS

**allurable:** i remember that show and i don’t want to, that was nightmarish

**mattata:** one of the crew members fucked up and accidentally moved a prop

**kogayne:** NO THAT’S LIKE RULE NUMBER ONE: DON’T TOUCH THE PROPS 

**lanceylance:** freshman year some seniors almost got into a fistfight over touched props

**lanceylance:** another one of the seniors threw a hissy fit in the middle of rehearsal

**allurable:** the guy that matt’s talking about got decked

**mattata:** baaaaaaad black eye

**takashmeoutside:** he was allowed to stay in crew but the actor who hit him got banned from drama club

**kogayne:** why is everyone in this hell club so...dramatic

**carrierpidgeon:** i actually hate u

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^^^^^^

**lanceylance:** :O :( i thought it was a good one

**kogayne:** thanks lance

**lanceylance:** i gotchu babe

 

**_shrieking_ **

**hunkerdunker:** GUYS I JUST CHECKED MY EMAILS

**hunkerdunker:** I GOT INTO THE GARRISON SCHOOL AT ARUS

**lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT CONGRATS BUDDY

**lanceylance:** GO BEST FRIEND THAT’S MY FUCKIN BEST FRIEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK CONGRATS!!!!! THAT’S MY BOY!!!!!!!

**kogayne:** CONGRATS DUDE

**carrierpidgeon:** LOOK AT U GO U FUCKIN SCHOLAR

**takashmeoutside:** congrats hunk!

**allurable:** GO HUNK GO

**mattata:** HUNK DUDE THAT’S AMAZING

**hunkerdunker:** AND I GOT SCHOLARSHIP MONEY

**lanceylance:** YES! !!!! YESSS!!!

**hunkerdunker:** I’M GOING TO COLLEGE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND HOLY SHIT

**hunkerdunker:** IF LANCE AND KEITH GET ACCEPTED THEN I’M GOING WITH MY BEST FRIENDS

**allurable:** when do those two find out again

**lanceylance:** end of march?

**kogayne:** beginning of april?

**hunkerdunker:** u know what would’ve sucked

**hunkerdunker:** if i’d gotten deferred

**hunkerdunker:** then i would’ve had to wait till then, when i specifically asked to fIND OUT EARLY

**shayfromstatefarm:** WELL BE GLAD U FOUND OUT NOW

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god all of my friends are going to college

**kogayne:** sherrie?

**lanceylance:** the other underclassmen in drama club?

**shayfromstatefarm:** make more friends! :D

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** hack into the college system and get yourself in there with a fake id

**mattata:** just do it

**mattata:** ur smart enough, they’d never catch u

**mattata:** mom and dad would be so proud

**carrierpidgeon:** ...i like the way u think

**carrierpidgeon:** no one there would know me as pidge, right

**carrierpidgeon:** sneak in as pidge...pidge…

**carrierpidgeon:** GUNDERSON

**carrierpidgeon:** that sounds badass

**mattata:** ...why does that sound familiar

**mattata:** IS THAT THE NAME OF ONE OF YOUR RPG CHARACTERS

**carrierpidgeon:** ...nooooo……………

**mattata:** i can’t believe mom raised /two/ nerds

 

**_Respecting Women Juice_ **

**dinezor:** i can’t believe ur new name is legolas

**lotoreal:** EZOR

**dinezor:** why didn’t one of us come up with that

**sippinganartini:** what did i miss in the drama chat this time

**dinezor:** lance called lotor legolas and i totally see it

**sippinganartini:** omfg me too

**dinezor:** FUCK

**sippinganartini:** ur fine

**sippinganartini:** how did casting go

**sippinganartini:** is prince eric in this chat

**lotoreal:** no

**lotoreal:** that would be lance

**sippinganartini:** aw

**sippinganartini:** sorry lotor

**lotoreal:** no big deal

**lotoreal:** he’s been in the club longer, evidently he’s been waiting for this

**sippinganartini:** wait so what’s lotor’s role

**sippinganartini:** is he in the ensemble

**lotoreal:** no

**lotoreal:** i’m sebastian

**dinezor:** he’s gonna serenade lance and plaxum and acxa i need u to sneak out to house and film the whole thing, every show

**sippinganartini:** what are the other roles

**dinezor:** I’M FLOUNDER

**sippinganartini:** nice

**lotoreal:** i’m sebastian, she’s flounder, lance is eric, plaxum is ariel, shay is ursula, hunk is triton...

**acxalutelynot:** honestly those were the only roles we cared about, i can read the list off at lunch if u want

**sippinganartini:** yeah that would be good

**sippinganartini:** shay as ursula though

**sippinganartini:** she’s a soft person

**zethridofmyproblems:** yeah that casting surprised a lot of us

**zethridofmyproblems:** but compared to the other girls who tried out, she’s one of the few that had the physical presence for it

**dinezor:** ^^^ my money was on her or one of the juniors

**sippinganartini:** so when do rehearsals start

**acxalutelynot:** monday

**acxalutelynot:** we have no idea when crew is starting

**acxalutelynot:** most of crew will probably end up going to the first rehearsal just to see about the timeline

**zethridofmyproblems:** ahhh, drama season

**acxalutelynot:** but drama season or drama season

**zethridofmyproblems:** yes

 

**_yolorolo > lanceylance_ **

**yolorolo:** so, i saw the drama club twitter

**lanceylance:** didn’t we block you

**yolorolo:** i won’t say how i saw it

**yolorolo:** congratulations

**lanceylance:** what do you want

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** ur ex just texted me and i don’t know what he wants

**kogayne:** HE WHAT

**lanceylance:** sit down

**kogayne:** nO WHY IS HE TEXTING YOU

**lanceylance:** twenty bucks it’s unwarranted harassment

**kogayne:** i’d make that bet but i’m on ur side so

 

**_yolorolo > lanceylance_ **

**yolorolo:** not much

**yolorolo:** i see plaxum is ariel

**lanceylance:** get the fuck out of here

**lanceylance:** i know what you’re implying 

**yolorolo:** wow, observant

**lanceylance:** bye

**yolorolo:** fine, u don’t need to respond

**yolorolo:** just wondering how keith feels

**yolorolo:** it’s not nice to play with his feelings, you know

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** block him

**lanceylance:** or i could let him dig this hole deeper and just keep a stockpile of these screenshots

**kogayne:** or u could block him bc i know u don’t like this

**kogayne:** literally WHAT is his DEAL

**lanceylance:** ...he’s probably still pissed about nyma

**kogayne:** OHHHH MY GOOOOOD HE FUCKED THAT UP FOR HIMSELF

**kogayne:** W H Y  DOES HALF THIS SCHOOL THINK YOU’RE UNFAITHFUL 

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I DON’T FUCKIN KNOW

**kogayne:** I HATE IT SO MUCH

**kogayne:** LISTEN TO ME YOU’RE THE SWEEST MOST LOYAL BOY I KNOW AND THESE FUCKERS DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE MISSING

**lanceylance:** sweest

**kogayne:** fuck i was so close

**lanceylance:** it was cute otherwise

**lanceylance:** honestly i’m not...suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper bothered?

**lanceylance:** rolo’s a giant DICK 

**lanceylance:** and i’m more worried about him insinuating that you’re hurt

**lanceylance:** ur not hurt, right

**kogayne:** if i was worried about plax i would’ve auditioned for ariel myself

**kogayne:** i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again bc i know u want the reassurance:

**kogayne:** i trust you

**kogayne:** i trust u with my entire life tbh

**kogayne:** if we were like,

**kogayne:** i dunno, stuck in space with no one but one other person to fight our way home with, i’d wanna be stuck with u

**lanceylance:** i fucking love you

**kogayne:** i love u too

**kogayne:** now go verbally kick rolo’s ass and then bLOCK HIS NUMBER

 

**_lanceylance > yolorolo_ **

**lanceylance:** think whatever u want

**lanceylance:** keith and i take care of each other just fine

**lanceylance:** unlike you, i know how to make a relationship last

**yolorolo:** is that why you dated two other girls before you settled?

**lanceylance:** is that why your ass is single?

**yolorolo:** that was a choice

**lanceylance:** yeah, whose choice?

**yolorolo:** i did what i had to do

**lanceylance:** sure you did

**yolorolo:** watch the attitude, mcclain

**lanceylance:** you texted me first and then brought keith into this

**lanceylance:** you mess with the bull, you get the horns

**yolorolo:** how deep.

**lanceylance:** are we done here?

**yolorolo:** just seems weird

**yolorolo:** all of a sudden, your exes are crawling back to you

**yolorolo:** u sure you’re not up to something?

**lanceylance:** why do you want me to be up to something?

**yolorolo:** why are you deflecting?

**lanceylance:** answer my fucking question. what are you up to.

**yolorolo:** just keeping keith’s best interests at heart

**lanceylance:** best interests? you tried to jump him

**lanceylance:** you broke his heart

**lanceylance:** you didn’t care about his interests

**lanceylance:** from what i can tell, you’re bent on hurting him, for one reason or another

**lanceylance:** i don’t know if you’re jealous because he’s found love, or if you’re bitter because you couldn’t hang on to nyma, but leave him alone. stay the fuck away from him.

**yolorolo:** wow, so possessive

**lanceylance:** it’s called being protective. it’s called caring. you should try it sometime.

**lanceylance:** goodbye.

**yolorolo:** oooh watch out we got a badass over here

**yolorolo:** you talk big

**yolorolo:** but how about your walk?

 

**_kogayne > yolorolo_ **

**kogayne:** listen here, asshole

**kogayne:** lance showed me the texts

**yolorolo:** am i supposed to be surprised

**kogayne:** stay the fuck away from him

**yolorolo:** funny

**yolorolo:** he said the same thing about you, and look who i’m talking to right now

**yolorolo:** didn’t you have my number blocked?

**kogayne:** so what if i did

**kogayne:** just leave my boyfriend alone

**kogayne:** stop trying to drag him into shit because you have a bone to pick with me or whatever

**yolorolo:** bone to pick with you?

**yolorolo:** please, he’s the reason my girlfriend is no longer my girlfriend

**kogayne:** you’d think, if you broke up, you wouldn’t call nyma your “girlfriend”

**kogayne:** oh, sorry, is her name too much for you to handle?

**kogayne:** upset that nyma apparently still likes lance? upset that nyma dumped you?

**yolorolo:** i dumped her.

**kogayne:** trash taking out trash, i don’t see a difference

**yolorolo:** classy. anyway.

**yolorolo:** aren’t you worried that she likes lance?

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** unlike some people, lance and i have a stable relationship

**kogayne:** exclusive, thanks

**kogayne:** so butt out

**kogayne:** fuck off

**kogayne:** leave the country honestly i just don’t give a shit as long as u gtfa

**yolorolo:** *gtfo

**kogayne:** gtfa

**kogayne:** get the fuck away

**kogayne:** bye

**yolorolo:** alright keithy, i see how it is

**kogayne:** ERROR. Unable to reach the number you have texted.

**yolorolo:** very funny, that’s not even a real error message

**kogayne:** ERROR. Fucks not found.

 

**_shrieking_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** KEITH LANCE SPILL TEA IN THE GROUP CHAT WHAT HAPPENED AT LUNCH

**kogayne:** rolo was being a shithead

**carrierpidgeon:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** wait what’s going on

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith and lance spent all of lunch bent over their phones

**shayfromstatefarm:** they were furious

**takashmeoutside:** i saw rolo 

**kogayne:** he’s being an ass

**kogayne:** texts lance out of the blue to start harassing him, so i stepped in, and he wouldn’t stop running his mouth

**lanceylance:** ...well, fingers

**lanceylance:** it was a text conversation

**mattata:** DEETS DEETS DEETS DEETS DEETS

**kogayne:** he kept insinuating that lance was up to something bc plax and nyma were “crawling back to him”

**kogayne:** yeah nyma might be but he and plax literally just happened to have gotten the leads in the show

**lanceylance:** we’re FRIENDS and nOTHING ELSE but THIS DICK wants SO BADLY to think that i’m hurting keith

**kogayne:** if i didn’t know better i’d think he still likes me

**hunkerdunker:** ...okay i know that was a joke but think about it seriously for a minute

**kogayne:** ...oh holy shit

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** IT’S NOT POSSIBLE

**takashmeoutside:** didn’t he literally try to jump you

**kogayne:** YES

**kogayne:** there’s no fucking way

**lanceylance:** he /did/ imply he has issues with me but not u

**kogayne:** no this is not happening there’s no way both of our exes want us back nope nope nope this is like some shitty fanfic situation not doing it no bye

**carrierpidgeon:** holy shit

**kogayne:** NOPE WE’RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT WE CAN FIGURE THIS OUT ANOTHER DAY I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ and  _ **_madplax_ ** _ to  _ **_CONSTANT VIGILANCE_ **

**madplax:** ...what is this and why am i here

**madplax:** should i be concerned about that name

**lanceylance:** just a warning

**lanceylance:** rolo’s being a trick ass bitch

**madplax:** that’s not news

**lanceylance:** he said some shit to keith and me and he mentioned you

**lanceylance:** he thinks you wanna get back with me or whatever, so just in case he suddenly texts /u/ and tries shit

**lanceylance:** we are frieeeeeeeeeends

**madplax:** yeah i was aware of that captain obvious

**lanceylance:** well if rolo comes along being like “omg mcclain wants to date u again” that’s FALSE 

**madplax:** dude is still bitter about his breakup with nyma, huh

**kogayne:** oh yeah

**lanceylance:** there’s also this conspiracy theory we have that he might still like keith but if that happens we’re gonna like, flip shit, so we hope that’s not true

**madplax:** both of your exes in love with u again? that sounds like something straight out of a cliche fanfic wtf

**lanceylance:** wretyjhgrwefsg we know

**madplax:** hey yo keith

**kogayne:** what

**madplax:** [bats eyes] do u find me...threatening…

**kogayne:** ur about as threatening as a kitten with a ball of yarn

**lanceylance:** i mean, 

**madplax:** bad analogy

**kogayne:** sorry ur about as threatening as calculus

**lanceylance:** i fuckin hate calc

**kogayne:** exactly you’d never willingly go there after this year

**madplax:** that’s fair

**madplax:** anyway thanks for the head’s up

**madplax:** good luck with expired fruit roll-up

**kogayne:** that’s the best u can do

**madplax:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_shrieking_ **

_ (6) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** the weather is warm for some reason??? i stepped out of school expecting a chill and

**kogayne:** it felt like spring

**kogayne:** also lance was pretty in the sunlight

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** u know that the warm weather is only supposed to last through tomorrow, and then it’s supposed to drop again

**lanceylance:** LET US HAVE THIS

**hunkerdunker:** just be prepared on thursday for the chill

**lanceylance:** LET US BASK IN THE SUNSHINE WHILE WE CAN

**hunkerdunker:** alrighty then

**shayfromstatefarm:** are u losers coming to work or what

**kogayne:** sorry i had to appreciate lance

**lanceylance:** btyjmuthgrsfdgh

**shayfromstatefarm:** unbelievable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so ur girl got jetsam in the musical, it only took me four years to get a good role
> 
> i literally have no idea when the next chapter is going up i should be writing a scholarship essay right now byeee


	104. the first of the promposals have been spotted...promposal season has begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent wednesday chapter: i dunno man they went to school, it was nice out, idk keith probably took more pictures of lance being pretty who tf knows let ur imagination run wild  
> thursday summary: apparently promposal season started? also...someone is up to something...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love klance so much i spent the last hour crying about them and now i wanna write like 34543884 klance-centered oneshots, many of them featuring lance's family

**_shrieking_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so apparently promposal season has begun

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**kogayne:** like senior prom?

**hunkerdunker:** yeah, someone just got promposed to in my first period

**lanceylance:** JUNIOR PROM HASN’T EVEN HAPPENED YET

**shayfromstatefarm:** the prom dress twitter’s been tweeting promposals since last week did u guys not know??

**kogayne:** there’s a prom dress twitter?

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah

**lanceylance:** why

**shayfromstatefarm:** so people don’t buy the same dress and have a big fashion faux pas

**allurable:** see twitter wasn’t like, super popular when i was a senior

**allurable:** that’s smart

**shayfromstatefarm:** ikr?

**hunkerdunker:** wait shay send us the twitter page

**lanceylance:** yeah i need to see these promposals

_ (1) link from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**mattata:** what, are u gonna one-up them

**lanceylance:** my gut reaction is to say yes but i just need to do one that’ll have keith swooning

**carrierpidgeon:** disgusting™

**takashmeoutside:** he swoons any time u do anything, you could probably just text him “prom?” and he’d faint

**kogayne:** asshole

**lanceylance:** WHAT KIND OF WEAK PROMPOSAL

**shayfromstatefarm:** pls don’t tell me he or matt asked each other to prom over text

**mattata:** i seduced him with science

**takashmeoutside:** he promposed with a giant poster full of science puns in the middle of physics

**allurable:** i skipped class to take photos

**carrierpidgeon:** /you/ skipped class

**allurable:** i may have had a million things going on but i was /also/ that one girl with like, a core group of friends and everyone else was an Acquaintance

**allurable:** i was a nerd

**mattata:** what do u mean was

**allurable:** shut up nerd

**lanceylance:** but what does that have to do with skipping class

**allurable:** okay so i didn’t /skip/ i missed the first five minutes

**allurable:** i was one of the lone wolf kids who the teachers liked, no one really cared if i walked in or out a few minutes late

**kogayne:** tag urself

**carrierpidgeon:** tag urself

**carrierpidgeon:** :O

**kogayne:** drift compatible

**shayfromstatefarm:** BUT I THOUGHT YOU HAD A NETWORK

**allurable:** i did

**allurable:** doesn’t mean i spent a lot of time befriending those kids

**allurable:** purely Business

**hunkerdunker:** this revelation, i need a minute

**hunkerdunker:** /holy shit/

**hunkerdunker:** this whole time i’ve been under the impression that allura was like lance, but like, with slightly better grades

**lanceylance:** i almost said “you people are the only people i talk to” but then i realized

**lanceylance:** i’m a natural charmer (☞⌐■_■)☞ 

**kogayne:** yes, antagonizing me for several years, that’s how i fell for u

**lanceylance:** hush mulletman

**kogayne:** I WON’T BE SILENCED

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** i gotta start planning so keith’ll be really wowed

**takashmeoutside:** well like i said,

**kogayne:** a s s h o l e

**carrierpidgeon:** (he’s irritated bc shiro is 100% correct)

**carrierpidgeon:** i remember when keith was still a pining idiot in sophomore year

**kogayne:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** “PIDGE!” [flops down face-first on the floor] [groans] “HE’S SO CUTE. HE GAVE ME HIS NOTES FOR CHEMISTRY. I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS!”

**kogayne:** dead to me

**lanceylance:** well, we /do/ have some /great/ chemistry

**hunkerdunker:** you’re the worst

**lanceylance:** yeah but u love me

**hunkerdunker:** why are we friends?

**lanceylance:** bc when we swore to protect each other from bullies in elementary school and now we can’t leave

**hunkerdunker:** oh shit that pact was for life?

**lanceylance:** LISTEN HERE

**mattata:** ...i wanna hear more about this pact

**mattata:** bc that’s not how shiro and i became friends

**lanceylance:** OKAY SO WHEN WE WERE LITTLE WE BOTH GOT BULLIED RIGHT

**hunkerdunker:** english is neither of our first languages and we were both struggling

**lanceylance:** not to mention, neither of us are exactly wonder bread

**lanceylance:** unlike the holts over there

**mattata:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** also not to mention, when i figured out i was bi, i was afraid of backlash

**hunkerdunker:** little lance and little hunk ended up getting paired up for an activity in class purely by chance

**lanceylance:** bffs ever since

**hunkerdunker:** a bond that can’t be broken

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**mattata:** see, in kindergarten, shiro accidentally broke my glasses so our moms made us hang out

**mattata:** and we discovered we were both nerds 

**takashmeoutside:** KICK ASS

**mattata:** GO TO SPACE

**takashmeoutside:** REPRESENT

**mattata:** THE HUMAN RACE

**hunkerdunker:** so how did allura get involved?? astronomy class, right????

**allurable:** i made the mistake of taking that elective with them and we were the only ones who knew what was going on

**allurable:** we exchanged numbers solely to roast the kids in our class

**kogayne:** see you all had choices

**kogayne:** im fuckin stuck with pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** matt and shiro wouldn’t let us not be friends

**kogayne:** “matt has a new little sister. her name is katie. you’re gonna be friends.”

**carrierpidgeon:** keith’s the worst

**kogayne:** pidge is a nightmare

**carrierpidgeon:** free me from this hell

**kogayne:** save me

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is not how i envisioned this friend group when hunk told me all about you guys freshman year

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** and how /did/ dear old hunketh describe us?

**shayfromstatefarm:** “lance is my best friend! he’s a really cool guy and really high energy! he’s kind of a flirt tho so like, be warned. then there’s pidge. she’s a couple years younger than us but SUUUUPER smart and into robotics and space. and then there’s keith. he’s kinda quiet. a little emo but he’s still cool. he and lance have some kind of rivalry thing tho. i actually don’t know how they ended up in the same friend group.”

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE YOU AND PIDGE MADE US

**mattata:** yeah but look where you are now!

**takashmeoutside:** hold on he told shay keith was emo right from the get-go

**kogayne:** HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry dude, i called it as i saw it

**kogayne:** I CANT BELIEVE

**takashmeoutside:** i can

**lanceylance:** you wore a lot of black

**carrierpidgeon:** he still wears a lot of black

**lanceylance:** you had a mullet

**carrierpidgeon:** he still has a mullet

**lanceylance:** you had this Broody™ look you always pulled out

**carrierpidgeon:** he still has that look

**lanceylance:** you tended to lone wolf things 

**carrierpidgeon:** he still lone wolfs some things

**kogayne:** are we done roasting keith

**lanceylance:** yes, now ur nice and toasty, now u can be my heater bc mother nature can’t decide what she wants to do

**kogayne:** smh that’s all i’m good for

**lanceylance:** i love youuuuu <3333

**carrierpidgeon:** barf

**kogayne:** ^^^

**lanceylance:** BABE RUDE

**kogayne:** suffer

**takashmeoutside:** keith be nice

**mattata:** LANCE FIGHT HIM WITH MEMES

**lanceylance:** get him all...TANGLED IN VINE references

**shayfromstatefarm:** i wish i didn’t have to see that

**lanceylance:** SUFFER

**mattata:** wow they really are made for each other

**kogayne:** ew

**lanceylance:** ew it’s keith

**kogayne:** get away

**lanceylance:** fuck off

**kogayne:** i was here first

**lanceylance:** [lifts leggy]

**lanceylance:** my place now

**kogayne:** [chops off leg]

**mattata:** YO WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** this leg and this space are mine now

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

**lanceylance:** TIS BUT A SCRATCH

**kogayne:** i will go monty python on your ass

**lanceylance:** IM INVINCIBLE!

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY ARE PEOPLE IN RELATIONSHIPS SO WEIRD

**hunkerdunker:** WE WENT OVER THIS LAST WEEK

**hunkerdunker:** UR BRAIN GETS FUCKED WITH

**lanceylance:** is that why keith can’t...THINK STRAIGHT when i’m around?

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT WAS AWFUL

**kogayne:** yes @ lance

**lanceylance:** oh

**hunkerdunker:** is he blushing

**kogayne:** i don’t have 2nd period with him i can’t tell

**lanceylance:** nno

**kogayne:** take a selfie and prove it

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** that’s not the shirt u were wearing this morning u fucking liar

**lanceylance:** f uck

**kogayne:** I MADE HIM BLUSH I WIN

**lanceylance:** fuck u

**kogayne:** not yet

**shayfromstatefarm:** OKAY BYE

 

**_SALT SQUAD_ **

**lotoreal:** so i overheard some interesting things in the hall

**lotoreal:** i may as well text in the group chat

**kogayne:** ...don’t tell me it’s about who i think it’s about

**dinezor:** OOOOH I HEARD IT TOO

**carrierpidgeon:** DO I SMELL TEA

**kogayne:** more like spoiled milk

**acxalutelynot:** oof, i heard it too

**lotoreal:** lance, keith,

**kogayne:** which asshole was it

**lotoreal:** rolo.

**kogayne:** naturally.

**lanceylance:** what did he say

**lotoreal:** he’s not pleased

**lotoreal:** he’s apparently talking about something that happened...two days ago?

**kogayne:** yeah.

**lotoreal:** he’s apparently scheming

**lanceylance:** IS HE EVER NOT

**hunkerdunker:** ew why is he still trying to be relevant

**kogayne:** just hearing his name activates my fight or flight

**kogayne:** which we all know usually ends up being fight

**lotoreal:** he’s mostly angry at lance

**kogayne:** if he comes anywhere near lance he can catch these fucking hands

**kogayne:** why the hell is he mad at lance

**sippinganartini:** oh shit keith is angry 

**zethridofmyproblems:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**lanceylance:** nO DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM

**lotoreal:** he’s angry for “taking his girlfriend and his boyfriend”

**kogayne:** HE GOT SICK OF ME AND ENDED UP USING ME TO GET NYMA

**lanceylance:** I DON’T EVEN LIKE NYMA I JUST CANT HELP THAT I’M JUST SO DAMN ATTRACTIVE

**kogayne:** ugh so what’s he scheming

**lotoreal:** i don’t know, just that lance is going to “pay”

**lanceylance:** wtf he sounds like the bully in one of those generic high school movies

**lanceylance:** “YOU STOLE MY S/O PREPARE TO PAY”

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’d be a little more concerned this time tho considering he actually jumped keith

**kogayne:** yeah, and then he got OSS

**kogayne:** if he tries shit then he gets expelled just like paul did 

**kogayne:** ...so what if we bait him

**lanceylance:** OKAY, NO,

**lotoreal:** do you think if i scoped the situation out and went to principal kolivan, he’d be more willing to act than my father was?

**acxalutelynot:** that’s not a bad idea, actually

**zethridofmyproblems:** but do you think rolo knows that our groups actually talk

**zethridofmyproblems:** i mean as it is we’re all in drama and crew

**zethridofmyproblems:** and everyone knows that even if u hate each other, during the show u gotta be friends or else you’ll be in hell for several months

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ worth a shot

**dinezor:** let’s do it!!

**kogayne:** lotor

**lotoreal:** yes?

**kogayne:** thanks for letting us know

**lotoreal:** of course.

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** ugh i fucking hate rolo

**lanceylance:** me too

**kogayne:** i don’t even know why he’s referring to me as “his” boyfriend

**kogayne:** he did the same thing with nyma when i was texting him the other day

**kogayne:** like, they broke up. we broke up. he needs to move the fuck on already.

**lanceylance:** u okay

**kogayne:** no i’m ANGRY i hate that he’s acting like this and i hate that he has it out for you

**kogayne:** you don’t deserve this

**kogayne:** i just

**kogayne:** you make me happy and he’s trying to ruin this

**lanceylance:** trust me not even a jealous ex-boyfriend can drive me away

**lanceylance:** considering, u know, i now have a jealous ex-girlfriend after me

**kogayne:** i’m scared for u

**lanceylance:** u

**lanceylance:** scared

**kogayne:** he fucking jumped me, lance

**kogayne:** and we’re lucky he was a fucking moron who did it in broad daylight in full view of the other crew kids

**kogayne:** who’s to say he hasn’t learned

**kogayne:** what if he comes after you but he does it off school property

**lanceylance:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**lanceylance:** don’t worry ur cute head

**lanceylance:** if he does anything he gets expelled and i’m sure he at least understands that

**kogayne:** be careful

**kogayne:** please be careful

**kogayne:** what if he doesn’t even do it himself

**kogayne:** he had a bunch of other guys with him

**lanceylance:** shh shhhhhh hey don’t work urself up over this

**lanceylance:** we don’t know if he’s actually gonna do anything

**kogayne:** he called you out for apparently talking big but not doing anything

**kogayne:** he’s serious about this

**lanceylance:** then if he’s serious i hope he’s serious about facing consequences

**kogayne:** ugh i really wish he and nyma would like, get back together

**lanceylance:** they’re perfect for each other: TRASHBAGS

**kogayne:** wait hunk and shay have study with them tomorrow, don’t they?

**lanceylance:** ...what are u up to

**kogayne:** if they can scope the situation out...maybe we can figure out how to get them back together

**lanceylance:** that’s assuming they haven’t changed study halls or they’re not going to like, the library

**kogayne:** WHEN IS THE LIBRARY EVER OPEN TO STUDY HALLS

**lanceylance:** shit u right

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**kogayne:** HUNAY

**hunkerdunker:** what’s up

**kogayne:** WE NEED TO GET ROLO AND NYMA BACK TOGETHER

**shayfromstatefarm:** they just broke up are we sure it’s a good idea

**kogayne:** IT’S BETTER THAN GETTING HARASSED BY THEM

**lanceylance:** it’s either that or get them expelled

**hunkerdunker:** but rolo’s close, isn’t he

**kogayne:** okay /yes/ but 

**kogayne:** in order to get him expelled

**kogayne:** we either need to get compelling evidence that he’s up to something

**kogayne:** or he’s actually gotta try some shit

**kogayne:** and seeing as

**kogayne:** lance permission to be possessive

**lanceylance:** do it

**kogayne:** he’s after my fucking boyfriend, and i’d rather him NOT get hurt,

**kogayne:** i’d rather get him back with nyma so he can stop being a fucking piece of shit

**kogayne:** and they can go back to hating people with each other

**hunkerdunker:** ...that makes sense

**hunkerdunker:** so why are we talking in the physics gc and not the other one

**lanceylance:** bc we know u guys have study hall with them tomorrow

**shayfromstatefarm:** omg he’s right

**lanceylance:** we know lotor and co are already on board scoping the situation out but like,,,, just keep an eye on things

**shayfromstatefarm:** i gotchu dude

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** once we get enough info hunk and i can slide right on in and play matchmakers

**lanceylance:** i’m so glad we’re all friends

**shayfromstatefarm:** me too

**kogayne:** same

**hunkerdunker:** i love u guys

**hunkerdunker:** let’s discuss this further at lunch and get pidge in on this

**kogayne:** alright

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** the group chat’s been silent

**takashmeoutside:** it’s not usually silent this long

**takashmeoutside:** you okay?

**kogayne:** so remember how rolo’s been doing shit

**kogayne:** rolo’s still doing shit

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes i really regret not intervening in that relationship

**kogayne:** he’s got it out for lance and if he does something i will lose my shit

**kogayne:** i just want to keep him safe

**kogayne:** he’s important to me

**takashmeoutside:** you know what

**takashmeoutside:** i’m glad that after the disaster that was ur current problem, u at least found someone else

**takashmeoutside:** and someone that i don’t hate

**kogayne:** i love lance so much it physically pains me

**takashmeoutside:** i know

**takashmeoutside:** so, any idea what ur tool of an ex is up to

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** we’re handling it tho

**kogayne:** we’ve got a network

**takashmeoutside:** allura would be proud

**kogayne:** gotta keep up that legacy

**takashmeoutside:** alright then

**takashmeoutside:** what’s the situation for after work

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunno yet

**kogayne:** might go to lance’s, he might come home with me, we might both go to our own houses

**takashmeoutside:** okay cool bc somehow i ended up getting put on an extra shift today so i won’t be home till late

**kogayne:** didn’t u just recover from the flu

**takashmeoutside:** do u think my coworkers care

**kogayne:** well they should

**takashmeoutside:** they care in the sense that

**takashmeoutside:** “FINALLY HE’S BACK I HAVE SOMEONE TO PAWN MY SHIFTS ONTO”

**kogayne:** gross i hate people

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes i do too

**takashmeoutside:** alright bye go finish ur day of education have fun at work

**kogayne:** tell sendick i said to choke

**takashmeoutside:** maybe i’ll leave a sticky note for him in the back

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** just me tonight

**kogayne:** looking like me and lance tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** cool

**takashmeoutside:** u have two options

**takashmeoutside:** i think there’s chicken nuggets in the freezer

**takashmeoutside:** or i can grab takeout on the way home

**kogayne:** :)

**takashmeoutside:** why are u like this

**kogayne:** LET ME LIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll see y'all in the next chapter
> 
> when will i get a new oneshot up, request or otherwise? when will stars go down update again? who tf knows
> 
> bye


	105. the nut butter birthday committee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group plans for shiro's birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah sorry for disappearing but my inspiration does what it wants when it wants 
> 
> **trigger warning for implied discussion of america's current gun control/school shooting issues, but no actual discussion**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** you know what

**kogayne:** should i be concerned this is the first text of the day

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** you know what

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** as sad as i am that rehearsal got cancelled the rest of the week

**lanceylance:** i’m kinda happy

**kogayne:** why

**lanceylance:** bc we go to work late, and have shorter shifts, which means we have that span of like, 2 and a half hours to ourselves

**lanceylance:** which means i can spend some quality time with my favorite boy

**kogayne:** oh and what do you and hunk have planned why wasn’t i invited

**lanceylance:** gkrthktyhgerkrsjdl shut up

**lanceylance:** ur my favorite and u know it

**kogayne:** i know :)

**kogayne:** anyway we’re going shopping after school

**lanceylance:** for cousin dearest

**kogayne:** yes for cousin dearest

**kogayne:** we’re celebrating tomorrow

**kogayne:** well i mean, that’s when we say his birthday is, when it’s not a leap year

**kogayne:** even though i’m gonna keep calling him six for the next two years

**kogayne:** i wanna do a real celebration on saturday, i gotta talk to allura and matt

**kogayne:** but clear ur calendar, ur coming

**lanceylance:** wouldn’t miss it

**lanceylance:** who’s driving today

**kogayne:** can u

**kogayne:** i need some place to hide his gift bc he’ll go snooping for it

**lanceylance:** gift-snooping? what is he, five?

**kogayne:** no we just established he’s six

**lanceylance:** cjdjxjjwhe ur cute

**kogayne:** damn right

 

**_kogayne_ ** _ added  _ **_mattata_ ** _ and  _ **_allurable_ ** _ to  _ **_nut butter birthday committee_ **

**kogayne:** what are we doing for shiro’s birthday

**mattata:** is renaming the main chat SHIRO DAY not enough

**kogayne:** no

**allurable:** no

**mattata:** so then what else are we doing

**kogayne:** that’s the point of the gc

**mattata:** wow hadn’t noticed

**allurable:** incompetent fools

**kogayne:** you sound like a disney villain

**allurable:** i’ve been exposed

**allurable:** im only dating matt and shiro to steal their life forces

**allurable:** siphon their souls

**mattata:** hey lura

**allurable:** yes darling 

**mattata:** WHAT THE FUCK

**allurable:** ;)

**kogayne:** wow u guys make me and lance look normal now BACK TO MY COUSIN

**kogayne:** DOES ANYONE HAVE IDEAS OR DO I HAVE TO DO ALL THE BRAINING

**allurable:** two ravenclaws in this chat and you think we’re leaving the party planning to a gryffindor?

**kogayne:** dont potter-speak at me

**allurable:** hiss hiss motherfucker

**mattata:** whoa i didn’t know u knew parseltongue

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**kogayne:** YOUR OTHER BAE

**kogayne:** IGNORE THAT I JUST SAID BAE

**kogayne:** BIRTHDAY

**mattata:** well we’re doing a party right 

**mattata:** shouldn’t we get the whole group chat involved 

**kogayne:** well yeah but the three of us are the heads

**allurable:** we’re a fuckin hydra

**kogayne:** and apparently i have to be the main head if we wanna get anything done

**_kogayne_ ** _ added  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ ,  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ ,  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ , and  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ to  _ **_nut butter birthday committee_ **

**kogayne:** okay so shiro’s birthday is tomorrow

**kogayne:** ...technically it doesn’t exist this year BUT we celebrate tomorrow

**kogayne:** so then we wanna celebrate on saturday

**lanceylance:** we get him a bunch of kid stuff that says “CONGRATS UR SIX” on it

**mattata:** elmo birthday cards have been my specialty for YEARS step off mcclain

**lanceylance:** i didn’t SPECIFY elmo

**kogayne:** okay cool well i’ve got claim on anything lego-themed

**lanceylance:** legos?

**allurable:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** boi be lucky u weren’t forced to be friends with them as a kid

**kogayne:** shiro loves legos

**kogayne:** he just won’t admit it

**hunkerdunker:** wait what’s wrong with legos

**kogayne:** the amount of times shiro has stepped on them barefoot in the middle of the night bc he was too busy trying to build the death star instead of sleeping

**mattata:** THE DEATH STAR IS HARD, KEITH

**kogayne:** I UNDERSTAND BUT WHY WOULD YOU SACRIFICE SLEEP FOR IT

**mattata:** YOUR CONSPIRACY THEORY-LOVING ASS IS ONE TO TALK

**kogayne:** FIGHT ME

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**allurable:** “i have to be the main head if we wanna get anything done” MY ASS

**lanceylance:** w h a t

**mattata:** we’re a hydra, roar bitch

**lanceylance:** :O

**kogayne:** OKAY SO SHIRO’S BIRTHDAY WE NEED TO DO STUFF

**hunkerdunker:** party planning always goes so much more smoothly when dad is in the group chat

**kogayne:** yeah well dad’s not here

**mattata:** daddy

**kogayne:** tell ur kink to stfu

**kogayne:** WE NEED TO PLAN THIS FUCKIN PARTY

**hunkerdunker:** i’m the cake king leave the dessert to me

**shayfromstatefarm:** are we cooking a dinner, getting food from a restaurant, orrrrr

**kogayne:** i mean, he’s 26, it’s not really anything special, so like...we could order food?

**allurable:** he is 6 for the third year in a row

**kogayne:** yes sorry he’s 6

**carrierpidgeon:** #ShiroIsSix

**kogayne:** okay so ordering out? ordering out???

**hunkerdunker:** i mean i could do cake and a full meal but i’d be a hermit all of saturday morning, holed up in my kitchen

**hunkerdunker:** ...actually that doesn’t sound bad fuck it i’m cooking

**kogayne:** yo there’s this recipe we have somewhere that shiro loves but can’t recreate to save his life

**hunkerdunker:** SEND IT

**kogayne:** when i get home i’ll send pics

**hunkerdunker:** okay and then tomorrow i’ll go ingredients shopping

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^ i’ll go too

**shayfromstatefarm:** are we doing gifts

**kogayne:** i mean, i don’t think you /have/ to

**kogayne:** i was gonna just by virtue of being his cousin

**allurable:** and i by virtue of being his girlfriend

**mattata:** and i’m his boyfriend

**carrierpidgeon:** honorary younger sister

**lanceylance:** future in-law

**hunkerdunker:** welp

**hunkerdunker:** guess we’re gift shopping too

**kogayne:** do i get his cat a leash

**lanceylance:** HOW HAVE YOU STILL NOT WARMED UP TO BLACK

**kogayne:** she’s out to get me

**kogayne:** i swear it

**shayfromstatefarm:** black is an angel

**kogayne:** BLACK HATES ME, A CONSPIRACY THEORY THREAD

**carrierpidgeon:** hngfwedgfhd

**allurable:** keith you are banned from getting black a cat leash

**mattata:** black would find a way to destroy it anyway

**kogayne:** d e m o n

**kogayne:** but okay anyway

**kogayne:** hunk’s got food covered, everyone’s bringing gifts apparently

**kogayne:** decorations? festivities?

**mattata:** LEAVE THE FESTIVITIES TO ME

**carrierpidgeon:** AND ME

**mattata:** PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

**carrierpidgeon:** AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

**allurable:** oh dear

**allurable:** anyway 

**allurable:** ...matt don’t you and shiro have shifts saturday morning

**mattata:** i called out

**mattata:** kashi doesn’t need to know that

**allurable:** alright then

**allurable:** keith, lance, that leaves us on decorations

**lanceylance:** six-year-olds like ball pits, right

**lanceylance:** can we get a ball pit

**lanceylance:** OH OR A BOUNCE HOUSE

**allurable:** it’s winter

**lanceylance:** B O U N C E  H O U S E

**allurable:** IT IS WINTER

**mattata:** lance it’s okay we’ll do one for my birthday

**lanceylance:** and if it’s abnormally cold then we can do one for my birthday

**lanceylance:** scratch that we are definitely doing a bounce house for my birthday

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**lanceylance:** BOUNCE HOUSE

**carrierpidgeon:** last time i went to a party with a bounce house i was in sixth grade and kids were getting into wrestling matches

**carrierpidgeon:** then someone spilled soda and the whole thing was a sticky mess

**lanceylance:** WHAT HEATHEN BROUGHT SODA INTO THE BOUNCE HOUSE

**carrierpidgeon:** i dunno????? a dumbass???????? i’ve mostly tried to forget elementary and middle school

**kogayne:** okay so are we set for now

**kogayne:** we can go into more detail on like, friday

**lanceylance:** affirmative captain mullet

**kogayne:** another hair-related nickname, really

**lanceylance:** yes absolutely

**kogayne:** smh

 

**_nut butter birthday committee_ **

**allurable:** CHILDREN I ALMOST FORGOT

**carrierpidgeon:** fight me

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m not a CHILD

**allurable:** hush child

**allurable:** TOMORROW

**allurable:** when do all of you get off of work

**shayfromstatefarm:** like, 7?

**allurable:** COOL

**mattata:** EXCELLENT

**kogayne:** …???

**allurable:** matthew and i will be treating kashi to an afternoon of love

**lanceylance:** oh?

**carrierpidgeon:** /lance/

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**allurable:** HUSH CHILD

**mattata:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAND I’M OUT

**_kogayne_** _left_ ** _nut butter birthday committee_**

**_mattata_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ to  _ **_nut butter birthday comittee_ **

**mattata:** ANYWAY AFTERWARD WE WERE GONNA BRING HIM OUT TO DINNER

**mattata:** and i mean, we were gonna bring pidge and keith as the younger siblings

**allurable:** and we all know keith and lance are joined at the hip

**lanceylance:** excuse us we are perfectly capable of doing things without each other

**kogayne:** it’s just more fun to do them together

**lanceylance:** yes exactly

**allurable:** so it’s only right to have the whole group there

**hunkerdunker:** i’m in

**shayfromstatefarm:** i love friendship

**allurable:** OKAY COOL EVERYONE’S IN HAVE A GOOD REST OF THE DAY AT SCHOOL KIDS

 

**_shrieking_ **

**takashmeoutside:** why is the gc dead

**takashmeoutside:** what birthday shenanigans are you all up to

**kogayne:** whatever do u mean by that, cousin dearest

**takashmeoutside:** there’s always a secret birthday group chat don’t act like i was born yesterday

**kogayne:** well clearly you weren’t, you were born tomorrow

**allurable:** and technically that isn’t even factual

**carrierpidgeon:** u weren’t born yesterday but ur only 6, u don’t always understand these things

**takashmeoutside:** looking forward to that matt holt elmo card

**mattata:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**takashmeoutside:** any surprises i should be aware of

**mattata:** um no those are spoilers

**lanceylance:** OH MY GOD MY SHOW COMES BACK FRIDAY

**lanceylance:** KEITH WE’RE PULLING AN ALL-NIGHTER TOMORROW

**kogayne:** LANCE NO

**hunkerdunker:** OH FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** SHIT THANKS FOR THE REMINDER

**shayfromstatefarm:** why do u all botch ur sleeping schedules for a netflix show that u can watch any time

**lanceylance:** online fandoms are spoiler central

**allurable:** JUST DON’T LOOK AT UR SOCIAL MEDIA UNTIL YOU WATCH IT

**lanceylance:** have u considered: no

**lanceylance:** watching at 3 AM is like having vivid dreams with a whole group of people and then u scream about it after

**lanceylance:** plus if i watch with keith then we experience it Together

**mattata:** pidge and i are watching together RIGHT PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** SOMETIMES I LOVE MY BIG BROTHER THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES

**hunkerdunker:** ...I’M SO LONELY

**mattata:** COME OVER

**carrierpidgeon:** COME OVER

**carrierpidgeon:** AND THEN GIVE ME A RIDE TO SCHOOL

**hunkerdunker:** ALRIGHT YEAH THAT WORKS

**takashmeoutside:** keith you’re watching at lance’s house i WANT MY SLEEP

**lanceylance:** THAT’S FINE WITH ME, THAT MEANS MY MOM SEES KEITH AGAIN AND SHE LOVES KEITH

**kogayne:** gterfwdgbfdfwedfghg

**lanceylance:** UR LITERALLY LIKE ANOTHER SON

**carrierpidgeon:** THEY’RE GONNA BE GROSS AGAIN SOMEONE STOP THEM

**lanceylance:** LET ME LOVE HIM

**kogayne:** I’LL BE A SON-IN-LAW EVENTUALLY ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**hunkerdunker:** yo head’s up

**hunkerdunker:** antok told us there’s a fire drill in 5 minutes

**lanceylance:** REALLY? IN THE MIDDLE OF ASTRONOMY?

**kogayne:** why did he tell u guys

**shayfromstatefarm:** apparently kolivan’s gonna announce it but given everything happening in the country,

**kogayne:** ...oh shit

**kogayne:** yeah that makes sense

**carrierpidgeon:** oh thank god bc if that alarm went off and i wasn’t warned i’d probably have a panic attack

**hunkerdunker:** tbh so would i

**lanceylance:** very much not a fan of this

**lanceylance:** i really hate the entire situation

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah and it’s making me anxious can we change the subject

**carrierpidgeon:** please

**lanceylance:** yeah so shiro’s birthday, what’s everyone getting him

**kogayne:** cat leash

**shayfromstatefarm:** we already shot that down

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh welp there’s the announcement

**kogayne:** on the bright side, it’s nice out

**shayfromstatefarm:** let’s play “how many sneaky photos of lance can keith get before lance catches on and starts posing”

**kogayne:** SHHH DON’T BLOW MY COVER

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** hey just a head’s up i am Not coming home before work

**kogayne:** i’m going out with lance

**takashmeoutside:** you’ve been going out since sophomore year

**kogayne:** LISTEN HERE

**takashmeoutside:** :)

**takashmeoutside:** your trip out wouldn’t have anything to do with my birthday, would it

**kogayne:** u nosy shit

**takashmeoutside:** bring home cupcakes or you’re not going out to eat tomorrow

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** CUPCAKES, KOGANE

**kogayne:** why would u get store-bought when hunk’s are infinitely better

**takashmeoutside:** bc he’s a nice person and i’m not gonna yell at him to bake for me

**takashmeoutside:** it’s much easier to make u go buy some

**kogayne:** smh you’re lucky i love u

**takashmeoutside:** aw thanks cous

**kogayne:** ur on thin fuckin ice, shirogane

**takashmeoutside:** Never Mind

**takashmeoutside:** have fun

**kogayne:** u want me bring u coffee too

**takashmeoutside:** aren’t u getting off of work at 7

**kogayne:** yes and

**takashmeoutside:** that’s late for coffee

**takashmeoutside:** yes absolutely, extra shot of espresso

**kogayne:** and everyone wonders where i got my bad habits from

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there shooooooooould be a chapter tomorrow
> 
> also vld stan twitter is a mess, idk if you noticed. also i'll try to remain spoiler-free for season 5 in this fanfic but i'll be discussing spoilers on twitter and ig afterward (and yes i'm pulling an all-nighter, east coast squad wya)
> 
> and finally, in case you missed it:  
> -[stars go down chapter 25](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/31738398) is NOW LIVE (and has been for like, three days)  
> -i have a new fanfic called [does any actual learning go on in this facility](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13828377/chapters/31803057), which is a series of 1k-word-and-under oneshots, centered on lance and keith at school (which means those oneshots take place during this fanfic, but not necessarily in any specific chapter). i started it bc sometimes at school i'll think of little klance moments that i wanna write and share, but those moments aren't long enough to merit their own separate oneshots. so boom. snippet collection.
> 
> oh also i got into college and i think i'm getting a scholarship. 1 decision down, 5 to go (why are the rest All at the end of march)
> 
> SEE YA IN THE NEXT CHAPTER


	106. SHIRO DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro's third sixth birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is short bc i started it but then season 5 sapped the inspiration from me but OMG SEASON 5

**_shrieking_ **

**_mattata_ ** _ renamed  _ **_shrieking_ ** _ to  _ **_SHIRO DAY_ **

**mattata:** happy birthday you majestic buff fuck

**mattata:** very glad to be celebrating with u

**mattata:** you strong-ass six-year-old

**takashmeoutside:** flattered, truly

**kogayne:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASSHOLE

**takashmeoutside:** THANKS ASSHOLE

**allurable:** happy birthday kashi dearest 

**carrierpidgeon:** BARF

**takashmeoutside:** thank you ally <3

**takashmeoutside:** pidge fight me

**carrierpidgeon:** happy birthday fucker

**takashmeoutside:** WHY DO MY COUSIN AND THE HOLTS INSIST ON SWEARING AT ME ON MY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY

**kogayne:** because we can

**lanceylance:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY COUSIN

**takashmeoutside:** lance is my new favorite cousin

**kogayne:** HE’S NOT EVEN YOUR COUSIN

**lanceylance:** not yet

**lanceylance:** ;)

**takashmeoutside:** ;)

**kogayne:** wow

**hunkerdunker:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** thanks hunk!!! 

**shayfromstatefarm:** hAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY

**takashmeoutside:** thank you shay!!

**takashmeoutside:** these three, i only claim these three

**shayfromstatefarm:** o heck yeah

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**hunkerdunker:** :D

**kogayne:** dead to me, shirogane

**kogayne:** i brought you cupcakes too i can’t beLIEVE

**hunkerdunker:** YOU DIDN’T ASK ME TO BAKE

**kogayne:** aHA I FUCKING TOLD HIM

**hunkerdunker:** O F F E N D E D

**carrierpidgeon:** rhtewfgrnhtegfrgefgebfdrfs 

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW DO U DEMAND CUPCAKES AND MAKE THEM NOT FROM HUNK

**takashmeoutside:** I AM BEING ATTACKED ON MY  B I R T H D A Y

**hunkerdunker:** MY BAKING SKILLS WERE UNDERMINED

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**allurable:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**kogayne:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**takashmeoutside:** CHAOTIC EVIL, ALL OF YOU

**mattata:** I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG

**takashmeoutside:** YOU WERE THINKING IT

**mattata:** shit u right

**allurable:** ANYWAY

**allurable:** happy day of birth, are u excited about ur dinner tonight

**takashmeoutside:** i’m always excited about food i don’t have to make

**mattata:** AND you’re not paying for it, how bout that

**takashmeoutside:** yeah i know it’s gonna be an even better day than i thought

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** I AM LEAVING MY HOUSE NOW MATTHEW AND SHIRO GET READY

**takashmeoutside:** WAIT FOR WHAT

**mattata:** >:)

**allurable:** JUST WEAR SOMETHING COMFY

**takashmeoutside:** COMFY CASUAL? COMFY FORMAL?

**allurable:** YES

**takashmeoutside:** THAT WASN’T AN ANSWER

**mattata:** YES IT WAS

**allurable:** GET READY

**takashmeoutside:** AAAAAAA

**allurable:** [screams higher]

**takashmeoutside:** [screams highest]

**mattata:** [screams higherest] i win

**allurable:** dammit matthew

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** ARE YOU ALRIGHT

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** i felt like screaming

**lanceylance:** why are you like this

**kogayne:** after the dinner tonight we’re going to your house and i need a different sweatshirt

**lanceylance:** what

**kogayne:** there’s one i stole that doesn’t smell like you anymore bc i’ve had it for so long

**kogayne:** i’m gonna give it back so u can wear it bc now it smells like me

**kogayne:** and in the meantime i’m gonna take a different one

**lanceylance:** stop being cute this early in the morning

**kogayne:** :) no

**lanceylance:** STOP THAT

**kogayne:** MAKE ME

**lanceylance:** YOU WITH THACE RIGHT NOW

**kogayne:** YEAH

**lanceylance:** BET

 

**_SHIRO DAY_ **

**hunkerdunker:** why did lance just suddenly leave math

**hunkerdunker:** keith what did you do

**kogayne:** WHY ARE WE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMING I DID ANYTHING

**kogayne:** it’s not nice to assume things hunk

**hunkerdunker:** yeah i know it makes an ass out of u and me blah blah blah why did lance leave math

**kogayne:** because

**kogayne:** he can do what he wants

**carrierpidgeon:** like go to thace’s class to see you because he knows thace doesn’t give a shit

**lanceylance:** you can’t call me out like this

**lanceylance:** also yes that’s exactly what i did thanks for exposing me pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** >:)

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance is lucky we have a sub for ryner

**lanceylance:** keith you should’ve told me

**kogayne:** figured you’d enjoy the surprise

**lanceylance:** i cried tears of joy ngl

**lanceylance:** and i’m already finished with the work rtefbfgdb 

**hunkerdunker:** WHERE are you even TEXTING FROM

**lanceylance:** the hall

**lanceylance:** i’m taking my sweet old time getting back to class, let me live

**hunkerdunker:** no

**lanceylance:** i am offedned

**carrierpidgeon:** offed ned

**shayfromstatefarm:** why did u kill ned

**shayfromstatefarm:** u offed him

**lanceylance:** autocorrect, failing me when i need it the most

**kogayne:** yo where are the Adults where’s matt or allura to roast you

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll do it

**carrierpidgeon:** bc last i checked they’re romancing birthday boy

**carrierpidgeon:** *ahem*

**carrierpidgeon:** WHEN U TRY UR BEST BUT U DON’T SUCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

**lanceylance:** NO SHUT UP FIX YOU MAKES ME EMOTIONAL

**lanceylance:** KEITH ADDED IT TO OUR PLAYLIST, THE FUCKER

**hunkerdunker:** what playlist

**kogayne:** i made him a playlist of all the songs that remind me of him and of us

**kogayne:** it was gonna be for christmas but i sent it early

**lanceylance:** i can’t make it through fix you or light without crying

**lanceylance:** every

**lanceylance:** damn

**lanceylance:** time

**shayfromstatefarm:** light by sleeping at last?

**shayfromstatefarm:** that light?

**lanceylance:** YES that light

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith ur EVIL

**kogayne:** CHAOTIC EVIL

**lanceylance:** no adding light is chaotic good

**lanceylance:** he meant well

**carrierpidgeon:** this is the mushiest thing i’ve ever read

**shayfromstatefarm:** is it really tho

**kogayne:** no it’s not we’ve definitely subjected u guys to mushier

**carrierpidgeon:** *u gays

**kogayne:** we’re the only homo-anythings here

**carrierpidgeon:** just gO WITH IT

**carrierpidgeon:** ergjssfdjrgtjebrw you uncultured swine, u have no sense of internet speak

**lanceylance:** that’s my forte

**mattata:** THAT’S MY FORTE

**mattata:** STAND DOWN, HEATHEN

**lanceylance:** PRINCE LANCEYLANCE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER

**lanceylance:** I SUMMON MY BATTLE PARTNER, THE BRAVE KNIGHT KOGANE

**shayfromstatefarm:** did you guys get enough sleep last night

**lanceylance:** nope and we’re getting none tonight

**lanceylance:** coffees are two dollars at dunkin till 8

**kogayne:** we’re gonna buy like 20

**takashmeoutside:** why do u have to make me be Dad on my birthday

**takashmeoutside:** DO NOT BUY 20 COFFEES AND DRINK THEM ALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

**kogayne:** FIGHT ME

**takashmeoutside:** IT IS MY /BIRTHDAY/

**kogayne:** F I G H T  M E

**takashmeoutside:** I WILL GROUND YOU

**kogayne:** I’M 18

**takashmeoutside:** DON’T TRY ME KOGANE

**kogayne:** THE ONLY “GROUNDED” I GET IS WHEN MY MENTAL HEALTH SPIRALS OUT OF CONTROL AND I HIT ROCK BOTTOM

**takashmeoutside:** ...dude

**lanceylance:** [softly] what the fuck

**kogayne:** AM I WRONG

**carrierpidgeon:** tag urself i’m keith and lance

**shayfromstatefarm:** i almost asked “how are u both” but yeah, i see it

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m shiro

**kogayne:** sO NOW, PUT UR FISTS UP SHIROGANE

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**mattata:** i’m so excited for tomorrow when he and lance haven’t slept at all and neither have i and neither will have pidge or hunk WOOOOO THE GC IS GONNA BE SO LIT

**allurable:** oh dear

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh dear is right

**takashmeoutside:** oh no is more like it

**shayfromstatefarm:** honestly,

**shayfromstatefarm:** that too

**allurable:** the biggest memers, two of our brainiacs, and /keith/

**kogayne:** why am i in my own category, allura

**allurable:** it’s you

**kogayne:** shit list

**allurable:** i thought i was already on there

**kogayne:** x 2

**allurable:** that’s better

 

**_SHIRO DAY_ **

**allurable:** is everyone ready to go out

**lanceylance:** YES ABSOLUTELY

**hunkerdunker:** woooo food time, time to judge the shit out of it and then bribe the chefs for their recipes

**carrierpidgeon:** i just want dessert

**mattata:** i feel like hunk experiences food differently from the rest of us

**lanceylance:** oh yes absolutely he does

**hunkerdunker:** you people have no appreciation for the fine art that is culinary

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i can live with it, i’ve made it this far

 

**_SHIRO DAY_ **

**takashmeoutside:** thanks for the great birthday everyone :)

**allurable:** we love youuuuuuuuuuuuuu

**mattata:** NO PROBLEM DEAREST

**kogayne:** only right for someone as cool as u

**takashmeoutside:** WOW U ADMITTED IT, U THINK I’M COOL

**kogayne:** oh fuck, my cover’s been blown

**lanceylance:** ur welcome shiro

**carrierpidgeon:** no prob takashthesehands

**carrierpidgeon:** also @ keith: we been knew

**shayfromstatefarm:** you’re welcome shiro!!!

**hunkerdunker:** hope u had an awesome day man

 

 ** _kogayne_** _added_ ** _lanceylance_** _,_ ** _carrierpidgeon_** _,_ ** _hunkerdunker_** _,_ _and_ ** _mattata_** _to_ ** _TV WATCH SQUAD_**

**kogayne:** IS EVERYONE READY

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaah so unlike season 4, i'll try to not even ~reference~ anything spoilery for like, two weeks? maybe a week because i'm a weakling? i also have plot points for this that have been sitting in the back of my mind that i want to do, but i've been waiting to see where they went in canon, and, well...i think i can finally jump on one
> 
> i'll still probably wait tho
> 
> ALSO I HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT SEASON 5 i wanna write them up for ig but basically the more i think about it the more i'm okay with it? my reaction was initially "meh, better than i liked season 4" but also i can see where things are going and why things were done (but then there were still things i didn't like and am iffy on but oh well) so like...i'm lazy...i really don't wanna write them for ig...idk we'll see also i've barely slept in the last 24 hours, i think i got like, a 3 hour nap in yesterday afternoon, then half an hour this morning, then fifteen minutes during yearbook...
> 
> ALSO THERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER COMING, THE FRIDAY CHAPTER, THIS WAS THE THURSDAY CHAPTER, BYE


	107. it's friday friday gotta be sleep-deprived on friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith, lance, pidge, hunk, and matt didn't sleep bc they were watching a show (and the author is most _certainly_ not projecting whatsoever)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only spoiler in this chapter is the release date for season 6, which is june 15th
> 
> have fun

**_SHIRO DAY_ **

**_takashmeoutside_ ** _ renamed  _ **_SHIRO DAY_ ** _ to  _ **_a normal group chat name_ **

**mattata:** what the fuck

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE YOU AWAKE

**takashmeoutside:** DID YOU EVEN SLEEP

**mattata:** NO

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** I WANT THE NEXT SEASON BUT IT’S NOT OUT TILL /JUNE/ I AM DYING SEND HELP

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** STOP SCREAMING HIGHER THAN ME

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**mattata:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** OKAY MATT WINS CALM DOWN YOU SLEEP-DEPRIVED FUCKS

**lanceylance:** allura you wound me :o

**allurable:** You Know I Had To Do It To Em

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...everyone’s screaming, allura’s memeing, what alternate reality did i wake up in

**lanceylance:** the one where i have a new girlfriend and keith has a new boyfriend and shalluratt’s not a thing and pidge hates robots

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...what

**shayfromstatefarm:** did i miss something

**kogayne:** lance is a cheating piece of shit

**lanceylance:** keith can meet me in the fuckin pit

**carrierpidgeon:** NO WE’RE NOT RHYMING AGAIN

**shayfromstatefarm:** waaaait i just woke UP STOP SCREWING WITH ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** DID SOMETHING HAPPEN

**kogayne:** chsjwjejdnndk

**shayfromstatefarm:** DO NOT FUCK WITH ME

**lanceylance:** nothing happened we just spent the whole night cuddling and yelling at the tv

**lanceylance:** wanna see the selfies we have to prove it

_ (7) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** look at how cute he is when he’s anxious over a character

**kogayne:** w-when did u taKE SOME OF THOSE

**lanceylance:** ur adorable

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** oof alright

**shayfromstatefarm:** STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOU BROKE UP FOR SHOCK VALUE

**kogayne:** no it’s fun

**lanceylance:** teaming up with keith is the best 

**kogayne:** GOOD TEAM

**lanceylance:** BEST TEAM

**shayfromstatefarm:** how have i survived four years as your friend

**lanceylance:** well keep in mind freshmen year we both thought we didn’t like each other

**kogayne:** and didn’t start dating till near the end of sophomore year

**lanceylance:** which, best decision ever

**kogayne:** oh hell yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** smh

**takashmeoutside:** “best decision ever” why didn’t i stop them

**kogayne:** shut up shiro 

**takashmeoutside:** i can do what i want

**kogayne:** sit down ur 6 i’m 3 times ur age

**takashmeoutside:** yeah 6 on a scale of 1 to 10

**mattata:** ...uhhhh

**kogayne:** i’m 100% sure lance has said something similar once gterwgtrefwwd

**takashmeoutside:** FUCK

**lanceylance:** welcome to my world

**lanceylance:** lance is my name, accidental self-drags are my game

**kogayne:** and when he drags himself i’m there to laugh at him

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow tag ur relationship goals

**lanceylance:** yes, where would i be without my little shit boyfriend

**lanceylance:** emphasis on little

**lanceylance:** because he’s short

**kogayne:** I’M ONLY A COUPLE INCHES SHORTER THAN YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** casual reminder lance is the third shortest person in the group chat

**lanceylance:** SHUT UP PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** NO I DO WHAT I WANT

**lanceylance:** FIGHT ME 

**carrierpidgeon:** I CAN KICK YOUR ASS

**lanceylance:** YOU CAN BARELY REACH IT

**carrierpidgeon:** WANNA FUCKING BET

**kogayne:** um no that ass is mine

**carrierpidgeon:** okay ew

**carrierpidgeon:** i regret this entire conversation

**lanceylance:** ya know what me too

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway can u guys get me a Death Coffee today pls

**kogayne:** yeah anyone else

**hunkerdunker:** PLEASE

**shayfromstatefarm:** you all are literally going to collapse in school

**lanceylance:** no i refuse i will not be weak

**lanceylance:** i will be in chihuahua mode again but I WILL NOT FALL

**kogayne:** no i will not allow chihuahua mode you are getting food in your system

**kogayne:** hunk shay if he enters chihuahua mode at any point during 3 or 4 today let me know

 

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**lanceylance:** guys help i’m getting sucked back into nerd land

**carrierpidgeon:** ...WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** NERD LAND WHAT

**lanceylance:** did u play wizard101 as a kid

**carrierpidgeon:** WELL FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW HELL YEAH I DID

**hunkerdunker:** “did” “as a kid” umm hi i never stopped

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** WAIT REALLY

**hunkerdunker:** ...maybe…

**carrierpidgeon:** ...FUCK ME TOO I’LL ADMIT IT

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT SO

**lanceylance:** SOMEONE IN SPANISH WAS TALKING ABOUT IT AND NOW I HAVE AN URGE TO PLAY AGAIN BUT NOW I WANNA KNOW WHAT EVERYONE’S SCHOOLS WOULD BE

**carrierpidgeon:** keith is fire

**hunkerdunker:** keith is fire

**carrierpidgeon:** HTGSFERGHTGSRFD 

**kogayne:** excuse

**lanceylance:** hello fire boy

**kogayne:** is that a new nickname

**lanceylance:** maybe

**lanceylance:** still like starlight best tho

**kogayne:** hnnnnn stop that

**lanceylance:** love you starliiiiight~

**carrierpidgeon:** OKAY BACK TO WIZARDS PLEASE

**mattata:** BACK TO WITCHES AND WIZARDS AND MAGICAL BEASTS

**allurable:** BACK TO GOBLINS AND GHOSTS AND TO MAGICAL FEASTS

**mattata:** IT’S ALL THAT I LOVE AND IT’S ALL THAT I NEED AT HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS

**allurable:** I THINK I’M GOIN BACK

**allurable:** anyway what are we on about

**carrierpidgeon:** magic

**carrierpidgeon:** okay lance i wanna also peg u as fire

**lanceylance:** /really/ now

**carrierpidgeon:** why what did u think

**lanceylance:** i main ice

**lanceylance:** fire wizard is my second tho

**carrierpidgeon:** ur more fire than ice tbh

**lanceylance:** but

**carrierpidgeon:** ur passion is bigger than ur patience but yes i can see u in ice

**kogayne:** fire boyfriends

**lanceylance:** I Am Suddenly 100% Down With This Assessment

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk what do u main

**hunkerdunker:** life

**carrierpidgeon:** herthyrefw so ur the healer

**hunkerdunker:** IF THESE FUCKERS DON’T STOP DYING I WILL LET THEM STAY DEAD SERIOUSLY CAST UR FUCKIN SPELL ALREADY

**hunkerdunker:** but yes

**carrierpidgeon:** cool that’s what i had u down for

**carrierpidgeon:** i personally think of myself as being in storm

**lanceylance:** elaborate

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re all about creativity and that “eureka!” moment

**carrierpidgeon:** halston balestrom is a fucking scientist

**hunkerdunker:** he’s a frog

**carrierpidgeon:** SCIENTIST

**carrierpidgeon:** also shiro is a balance wizard

**takashmeoutside:** i saw shiro

**carrierpidgeon:** balance

**lanceylance:** i see it

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean part of me wants to put him in ice solely bc of his motto but no, u are a balance wizard, takashi

**mattata:** YER A WIZARD SHIRO

**mattata:** pidge where am i

**carrierpidgeon:** um in storm with me duh

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHERE AM I

**carrierpidgeon:** life definitely

**shayfromstatefarm:** isn’t there a death school

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m going to download the game and join death just to spite u

**carrierpidgeon:** WELL THEN

**carrierpidgeon:** and finally i have allura for balance

**allurable:** Wrong i am a myth wizard

**allurable:** Let Me Have This

**carrierpidgeon:** that fits too ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ have at it

**carrierpidgeon:** u can do secondary schools

**kogayne:** WHY AREN’T WE DOING SECONDARIES

**carrierpidgeon:** bc that requires too much braining

**lanceylance:** so excluding shay’s spite no one here is a death wizard

**lanceylance:** the closest we have is shiro in balance

**kogayne:** if only she and matt weren’t both nerds

**carrierpidgeon:** well lance depending on where we place u we’re also out of an ice wizard

**lanceylance:** i’ll join ice for the sake of balancing the team

**lanceylance:** a sacrifice i am willing to make

**mattata:** WAIT WHY ARE WE BLAMING ME FOR BEING A NERD WHEN HUNK AND SHAY ARE BOTH IN LIFE

**carrierpidgeon:** bc we like them

**mattata:** SQUARE UP

**allurable:** :O how DARE i love matthew holt

**takashmeoutside:** eh he’s okay

**mattata:** KASHI

**takashmeoutside:** I’M KIDDING I LOVE U

**mattata:** u fuckin BETTER i know all of ur most embarrassing secrets, like the time in kindergarten

**takashmeoutside:** SHUT UP WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT

**kogayne:** WHAT HAPPENED IN KINDERGARTEN

**mattata:** THE SCISSORS

**takashmeoutside:** SHHHHHHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** ARE THOSE THE PICTURES 

**mattata:** THOSE ARE THE PICTURES

**kogayne:** OH MY GOD

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**lanceylance:** SOMEONE EXPLAIN

**kogayne:** shiro tried to give himself a haircut when he was little and got into some hair dye

**kogayne:** he gave himself a white forelock he looked like a fucking skunk

**mattata:** HERE THEY ARE

_ (3) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** NEITHER OF OUR PARENTS WOULD LET HIM LIVE THIS DOWN

**kogayne:** I NEVER HEARD ABOUT THIS UNTIL I DISCOVERED THE PHOTOS IN AN OLD ALBUM

**takashmeoutside:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** omfg shiro come over i have some leftover dye

**allurable:** we’re gonna recreate the look

**allurable:** ur undercut will make it look better

**takashmeoutside:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa no

**allurable:** KASHI COME ONNNNN

**mattata:** DO IT

**lanceylance:** yeah i gotta agree it’ll probably actually look attractive this time

**kogayne:** somethin u tryna tell me lance

**lanceylance:** no hush i love ur mullet never change

**lanceylance:** i mean unless u wanna change i won’t stop u

**lanceylance:** but

**kogayne:** :)

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** who wants study hall tea

**kogayne:** are they both in study

**hunkerdunker:** yeah and what’s even more surprising is they haven’t killed each other yet

**shayfromstatefarm:** also get this

**carrierpidgeon:** ooooh i smell HOT tea

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’ve been mostly going to like, the library during study

**shayfromstatefarm:** except today the library’s closed

**lanceylance:** oh boy

**shayfromstatefarm:** and the only open seats for them were at the same empty cluster of desks

**kogayne:** PAYBACK 

**hunkerdunker:** they started shit-talking each other

**kogayne:** WHAT

**kogayne:** LIKE TO THEIR FACES

**shayfromstatefarm:** YEAH

**carrierpidgeon:** POUR SOME MORE OF THIS DELICIOUSNESS INTO MY CUP PLEASE

**hunkerdunker:** rolo got angry at her for still having a thing for lance and somehow it got out that rolo’s been like, keeping an eye on keith

**kogayne:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** DID ANYONE SAY ANYTHING

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve kept everything to our circle of friends

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** same

**kogayne:** mouth has been shut

**lanceylance:** WAIT THEN HOW DID NYMA FIND OUT

**hunkerdunker:** apparently rolo told one of his friends who’s still friends with nyma’s friends and nyma’s friends told nyma

**carrierpidgeon:** ah, a good ol game of telephone

**lanceylance:** wait so then what happened

**shayfromstatefarm:** they started arguing over who had the better chance of winning you guys over

**lanceylance:** excuse me

**kogayne:** fucking what

**lanceylance:** do they not remember our prank after homecoming

**lanceylance:** how far up their asses do their heads have to be to not realize that keith and i are kind of like, i dunno, COMMITTED FOR LIFE

**kogayne:** it simultaneously pisses me off and makes me really uncomfortable

**hunkerdunker:** better safe than sorry

**lanceylance:** how do they think they’d even go about it

**kogayne:** well remember when nyma put that note slandering me in ur locker

**lanceylance:** i hated that so much u didn’t deserve that

**kogayne:** and she purposely did it on a day where u were Not having it

**lanceylance:** H O N E S T L Y  they have such a pattern of abuse idk why they think that even if keith and i broke up, we’d ever go back to *them* of all people

**shayfromstatefarm:** ew update nyma’s dragging keith and rolo at once

**lanceylance:** HNNNGGGG WHAT DID SHE SAY

**lanceylance:** about keith idgaf about rolo’s feelings

**shayfromstatefarm:** it was Not Nice so i’ll tone it down: keith is desperate enough to date anyone

**kogayne:** she can fucking fight me

**lanceylance:** she’ll have to get through me first

**hunkerdunker:** yeah and then rolo turned the argument around and said she was clearly mistaken, she must’ve meant /lance/

**kogayne:** fucking what now

**carrierpidgeon:** ...so if i hacked into their school email accounts do u think i could pull enough shit to get them expelled

**carrierpidgeon:** no one will ever know it was me

**lanceylance:** no, not yet

**lanceylance:** if we need u we’ll let u know

**carrierpidgeon:** mmm fine

**kogayne:** anything else we should know

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’re roasting each others’ tastes in s/os

**hunkerdunker:** and using u guys as reference points

**kogayne:** hm. wonderful. 

**lanceylance:** >:( MURDER

**shayfromstatefarm:** alright tone it down jd

**kogayne:** i’m jd

**kogayne:** although lance would look hot as fuck as jd

**lanceylance:** i can pull off a trenchcoat *and* a miniskirt

**hunkerdunker:** there’s an image i didn’t want or need

**lanceylance:** i’m sure keith wanted it

**kogayne:** no comment

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s blushing isn’t he

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** oh hell yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** heathens

**kogayne:** ANYWAY HUNK SHAY THANKS FOR KEEPING US UPDATED I MUST GO NOW

**shayfromstatefarm:** you’re gonna waste the rest of the period with lance aren’t you

**kogayne:** NO COMMENT

 

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**takashmeoutside:** gratitude friday kids i’m grateful for yesterday’s birthday shenanigans

**allurable:** aw ur still grateful that’s cute

**allurable:** i’m grateful that i remembered my umbrella today bc this RAIN AND WIN D  HOYL SHIT

**mattata:** grateful that i took a day off tomorrow i need SLEEP why did i work today

**takashmeoutside:** that was /your/ decision

**lanceylance:** i’m grateful keith and i were both healthy to watch our show this time i love my boyfriend

**kogayne:** ur cute

**kogayne:** i’m grateful that i’m planning a nap after work with lance

**takashmeoutside:** boi

**carrierpidgeon:** HEATHENS

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m grateful for COFFEE it’s the only way i’m getting thru the day

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m grateful that i actually went to bed last night

**hunkerdunker:** LET US NERD OUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** mmm...u are adorable when u nerd out

**hunkerdunker:** aw  <3

**hunkerdunker:** i’m grateful for shay

**hunkerdunker:** bc i almost fell asleep in class and she kept me awake

**shayfromstatefarm:** <333

 

**_carrierpidgeon > hunkerdunker_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** yo

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** are u gonna nap orrr

**hunkerdunker:** i’m trying to stay awake until tonight so i can reset my schedule why

**carrierpidgeon:** u still play w101

**carrierpidgeon:** log in, fucker, i’ve got bosses i need to beat and they’ve kicked my ass four times already

**hunkerdunker:** logging in now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i play wizard101 fight me
> 
> i played it as a kid, then got back into it freshman/sophomore year, and then my friend started playing again and dragged me back in (quick try and guess which friend)
> 
> okay i need to sleep and work on SGD and some oneshots byeee if u wanna know my opinions on s5 i don't feel like writing out a whole big thing so just check my [twitter page](https://twitter.com/nerdyspxceace) and scroll through my tweets and retweets
> 
> byeee


	108. REHEARSAL BEGINS AGAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent monday chapter: keith and lance discover that their admissions decisions into the garrison school at arus u are set to come out on march 19th 
> 
> today's summary: rehearsal begins again woooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i was prepping to post this chapter i just got the notification that school tomorrow's cancelled i love my life WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> 
> also lmfao i found out my top choice admissions decision comes out on saturday the 17th i am mcsTRESSY 
> 
> but in the mEANTIME, if ur sad u missed that momentous discovery of klance's happening in text form, it happened in snippet form!! [chapter 5](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13828377/chapters/31944084) of does any actual learning go on in this facility takes place during the non-existent monday chapter
> 
> okay have fun kids

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**lanceylance:** WE FINALLY HAVE REHEARSAL I’M ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

**allurable:** that’s nice to know

**allurable:** but did u ask if we cared

**lanceylance:** you of all people should care that we’re carrying on your theatre legacy

**allurable:** well, what a tragedy

**lanceylance:** >:O

**kogayne:** i care

**lanceylance:** THANKS KEITH I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LIKED YOU BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE

**allurable:** mmm i see how it is

**carrierpidgeon:** i wish crew would start but we’re too far out

**kogayne:** as a crew senior i’m staying to get a feel for the show so we can start planning things ahead of time

**kogayne:** yknow instead of throwing our set together at the very last minute

**lanceylance:** also he’s my ride today

**kogayne:** yeah that too

**carrierpidgeon:** good idea have fun with that

**carrierpidgeon:** matt are u off

**mattata:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** cool i need u to pick me up from school

**mattata:** i gotchu sis

**shayfromstatefarm:** i am VERY happy to be back at rehearsals

**lanceylance:** I MISSED THE DRAMA CLUB I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE ACTUAL DRAMA THAT’S GONNA ENSUE

**hunkerdunker:** oh jeez

**hunkerdunker:** don’t get involved dude, don’t do it

**lanceylance:** excuse you

**lanceylance:** i will NOT

**lanceylance:** i am merely the 411

**lanceylance:** snooper extraordinaire

**lanceylance:** i know everything

**lanceylance:** people tell me things

**lanceylance:** and i have many sources from which i can extract information

**kogayne:** that’s code for “keith is quiet and eavesdrops and then he tells me everything”

**takashmeoutside:** no one is surprised by this information 

**kogayne:** ;)

**lanceylance:** i love my ninja boyfriend

**kogayne:** <3

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY IS THERE MUSH IN THE GROUP CHAT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, STOP THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** go back to psych u heathens

**shayfromstatefarm:** aren’t we supposed to be doing a hypnosis simulation

**kogayne:** i refuse to be vulnerable like that

**kogayne:** hypnosis weirds me out

**lanceylance:** i don’t have the attention span for it

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** u are both utter disappointments

**lanceylance:** tell me something i don’t know

**kogayne:** okay, NO,

**hunkerdunker:** lance is it a Day

**lanceylance:** NO I AM HYPED FOR REHEARSAL

**lanceylance:** we’re running music today

**kogayne:** oh god maybe i shouldn’t stay

**shayfromstatefarm:** all i can envision right now is lance standing on top of the armrests and going “THIS IS FOR YOU BABE” before he starts singing

**lanceylance:** :O GOOD IDEA

**shayfromstatefarm:** WAIT NO

**kogayne:** SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** I FUCKED UP

**lanceylance:** HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

**takashmeoutside:** how much caffeine has he had this morning

**lanceylance:** NOT ENOUGH

**kogayne:** i mean he’s not in chihuahua mode yet

**lanceylance:** yet is the keyword

**hunkerdunker:** take his mug

**kogayne:** taking

**lanceylance:** asshole

**kogayne:** that’s my name don’t wear it out

**lanceylance:** wait no

**allurable:** when will self-deprecating humor stop being the mark of the millennials

**kogayne:** when we start loving ourselves

**lanceylance:** when we start getting taken seriously

**hunkerdunker:** when we’re financially stable

**shayfromstatefarm:** never

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s depressing

**lanceylance:** hush iGen

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re gen z

**hunkerdunker:** literally same thing

**carrierpidgeon:** aren’t u guys also gen z

**hunkerdunker:** we’re that weird blurry space between generations

**shayfromstatefarm:** the year 2000 fucking us over since forever

**kogayne:** [quietly sits in 1999]

**lanceylance:** yeah we get it you’re old

**kogayne:** by a few months

**lanceylance:** bY a FeW mOnThS

**takashmeoutside:** and how much /sleep/ did lance get

**lanceylance:** [laughs in sleep deprivation]

**kogayne:** he got four hours

**carrierpidgeon:** and how do u know that

**kogayne:** i got three

**takashmeoutside:** what the fuck

**mattata:** u know sleep-deprivation kills, right

**carrierpidgeon:** ur one to talk

**mattata:** yes i’m aware

**mattata:** doesn’t mean i’m not speaking the truth

**allurable:** CAN U GUYS START SLEEPING

**lanceylance:** nah man it’s musical season

**shayfromstatefarm:** he can sleep tomorrow

**shayfromstatefarm:** rehearsal is only today and tomorrow but we’re supposed to be getting a ton of snow tomorrow so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** CAN THE SNOW STOP DEPRIVING ME OF THE DRAMA CLUB PLEASE

**hunkerdunker:** are u bitter

**lanceylance:** call me black coffee

**kogayne:** my soul?

**carrierpidgeon:** alright clary fray

**kogayne:** SHUT UP i really don’t like tmi

**carrierpidgeon:** CLAAAAAAAAAAAAARYYYYYYYYYYYY

**lanceylance:** i wanna make fun of them for worrying about relationships when they’ve gotta be saving the world but if that was me i’d 100% wanna distract myself by making out with keith all the time

**kogayne:** yeah but at least we know we’re not related

**kogayne:** do u know how weird that is, to pine after someone u think is ur brother

**kogayne:** that’d be like me and shiro

**takashmeoutside:** i just threw up a little bit in my mouth

**kogayne:** i got sick typing it out so

**lanceylance:** [jumps on keith] MINE

**kogayne:** [long sigh] why are u like this

**lanceylance:** [hiss]

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m getting vivid flashbacks to the early 2000s internet era of goths and emos

**hunkerdunker:** war flashbacks

**allurable:** that was a dark age

**mattata:** MY NAME IS EBONY DARK’NESS DEMENTIA RAVENWAY

**allurable:** NO

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** goffik

**kogayne:** WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THIS

**mattata:** A LOT OF PREPS STARED AT ME

**carrierpidgeon:** I PUT UP MY MIDDLE FINGER AT THEM

**allurable:** PETITION TO BAN THE HOLTS FROM THE CHAT

**mattata:** I’M NOT RELATED TO GERARD WAY BUT I WISH I WAS BECAUSE HE’S A MAJOR FUCKING HOTTIE

**hunkerdunker:** there are some things i wish i could bleach from my mind and my immortal is one of them

**carrierpidgeon:** stop with the slander

**mattata:** my immortal is the greatest harry potter fanfic of all time

**kogayne:** i couldn’t finish it

**kogayne:** i wasn’t strong enough

**lanceylance:** u know that’s big bc keith hates admitting weakness

**kogayne:** shut up lance

**lanceylance:** the up has been shut

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...petition to read my immortal at rehearsal instead of the script

**carrierpidgeon:** YES

**mattata:** YES!!!!

**allurable:** NO

**hunkerdunker:** SHAY YOU TRAITOR

**kogayne:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

**carrierpidgeon:** ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

**lanceylance:** this is the biggest turn of events i’ve seen in a while

**mattata:** we’ve corrupted her

**mattata:** we’re making progress

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re coming for your ass next, mcclain

**kogayne:** you’ll have to get through me first

**lanceylance:** AND SO THE BRAVE KNIGHT KOGANE STEPS IN TO DEFEND HIS LOVER, THE DASHING PRINCE LANCEYLANCE

**carrierpidgeon:** okay so what we do is we gang up on keith while he defends lance and corrupt him

**carrierpidgeon:** distraught by the loss of his lover, prince lanceylance sets out himself to avenge the brave knight kogane, and he, too, falls victim to our charms

**kogayne:** wtf

**kogayne:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**takashmeoutside:** DID SHE SLEEP EITHER

**mattata:** PIDGE DID U SLEEP

**carrierpidgeon:** UHHHH

**carrierpidgeon:** BE GONE, HEATHENS

**carrierpidgeon:** [poof] [i am gone]

**kogayne:** welp

**allurable:** petition to get DnD and start DnD nights

**lanceylance:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] I HEARD DND

**hunkerdunker:** I’M IN

**carrierpidgeon:** [poof] [i have returned] DND? DND?! DND!!!!

**kogayne:** allura i think you made a mistake

**lanceylance:** IT’LL BE SO FUN OH MY GOD

**carrierpidgeon:** DND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’d be down for this

**takashmeoutside:** i’m surrounded by nerds

**allurable:** shut up nerd

**mattata:** shut up nerd

**mattata:** (⌐■_■) 

**allurable:** (⌐■_■) 

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe i’m being ganged up on by my bf and gf

**lanceylance:** i can’t believe it’s not butter

**takashmeoutside:** -_- alright memelord

**mattata:** :O THAT’S MY NAME TAKE IT BACK

**lanceylance:** AND SO PRINCE LANCEYLANCE STEALS THE TITLE FROM THE IMPERIOUS LORD MEMER

**carrierpidgeon:** sounds like a conquest to me

**carrierpidgeon:** sounds like we’re already corrupting you  >:)

**lanceylance:** and so prince lanceylance falls victim to the nefarious schemes of the sorceress pidge

**kogayne:** the brave knight kogane must now set out to rescue his lover before it’s too late, and the corruption becomes irreversible 

**carrierpidgeon:** the cunning sorceress pidge begins to set up a trap that will surely ensnare the knight before he can reach his lover

**lanceylance:** if we don’t play DND soon i’m just gonna write this story

**lanceylance:** the epic tale of the schemes of a vengeful sorceress and the overpowering love between a prince and his loyal knight

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes i want to roll my eyes at this 

**takashmeoutside:** but

**lanceylance:** but what

**kogayne:** but what

**mattata:** but what

**shayfromstatefarm:** but what

**allurable:** but what

**hunkerdunker:** but what

**carrierpidgeon:** but what 

**takashmeoutside:** this is wholesome

**takashmeoutside:** very proud of lance for not being an asshole

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ im touched 

**kogayne:** best boyfriend i’ve ever had and the only one i’ll ever have again

**lanceylance:** <3333

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** HEY DIPSHITS REMINDER WE HAVE SCRIPTS AND SONGBOOKS WHICH MEANS WE HAVE REHEARSAL

**lanceylance:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**lanceylance:** RAZZLE DAZZLE

**dinezor:** DRAMA SEASOOOOOOOON

**lanceylance:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** you haven’t seen him all morning he’s more excited than he can put in words

**lanceylance:** I HAVE A LIFE AGAIN

**kogayne:** cute

**lanceylance:** ;) <<<<<333333333

**acxalutelynot:** anyone staying for crew

**kogayne:** we don’t need to but i am 

**acxalutelynot:** i probably should then

**lanceylance:** what, do u and ez not give each other rides every day?

**acxalutelynot:** nah, we’re capable of spending time apart

**dinezor:** we’re functional lesbians

**acxalutelynot:** she’s functional i’m distinguished

**kogayne:** im a disaster gay and lance thinks he’s a functional bi but he’s a disaster

**lanceylance:** i am TOO functional

**kogayne:** no

**carrierpidgeon:** no

**hunkerdunker:** don’t kid urself buddy

**shayfromstatefarm:** sorry lance

**acxalutelynot:** nope

**dinezor:** nope!!!!

**zethridofmyproblems:** definite disaster

**madplax:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE A FUNCTIONAL BI

**floronawiththecorona:** pffffft

**lotoreal:** O.O

**lanceylance:** this is SLANDER

**lanceylance:** LED BY MY OWN BOYFRIEND

**kogayne:** I GOTTA KEEP YOU GROUNDED

**kogayne:** I DO IT OUT OF LOVE

**lanceylance:** FUCK YOU

**kogayne:** WELL,

**lanceylance:** O H 

**hunkerdunker:** petition to make a new drama chat without klance and just keep them updated

**kogayne:** aw come on

**lanceylance:** ;)

**kogayne:** okay No

**lotoreal:** tone down the romance, and you can stay

**lanceylance:** hnnn but i love him

**lanceylance:** he’s my favorite person 

**acxalutelynot:** WE KNOW

**madplax:** WELL AWARE

**zethridofmyproblems:** never would’ve guessed -_-

**madplax:** ANYWAY back to my original announcement

**madplax:** we’re running music, and we’re probably running till like, 5

**madplax:** plan accordingly

**madplax:** i thiiiiiink we’re going in order of the script so bring shit to do like homework

**madplax:** NOT A PERSON!

**madplax:** @ KLANCE

**kogayne:** [sigh]

**lanceylance:** I CAME OUT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND I’M HONESTLY FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW

**carrierpidgeon:** i am LIVING

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** ummm ur voice 

**kogayne:** what the FUCK

**kogayne:** i knew u were good but HOLY SHIT

**kogayne:** what the FUCK LANCE

**kogayne:** i really fucking love you

**kogayne:** ohhhhhh my fuuuuu

**kogayne:** u look so happy up there

**kogayne:** im so happy u got this role u were made for a mermaid show

**kogayne:** this is the gayest i’ve ever been and the gayest i’ll ever be again

**kogayne:** okay i’ve apparently gotta talk to the office about something if i’m not here when ur done on stage READ UR TEXTS before u flip i’m not leaving just going to get some copies

**kogayne:** senior crew responsibility

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** u adorable little shit

**kogayne:** i know :)

**lanceylance:** next time i’m needed i’m gonna do the thing

**kogayne:** what thing

**lanceylance:** you’ll see

**kogayne:** ur gonna embarrass me aren’t u

**lanceylance:** ummm duh that’s my job 

**kogayne:** ur lucky ur pretty

**lanceylance:** [flips hair] i know

**kogayne:** what hair

**lanceylance:** :O RUDE

**lanceylance:** how’s the office

**kogayne:** copies are taking forever and i’ve thought about bashing my head into a wall twice

**kogayne:** except assistant principal throk is in here and i don’t feel like getting reprimanded for trying to concuss myself

**lanceylance:** do not concuss urself

**lanceylance:** the last time u had a concussion was awful

**kogayne:** yeah speaking of that

**kogayne:** i haven’t met with our therapist in a while

**lanceylance:** u okay?? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN THAT U DIDNT TELL ME ABOUT

**kogayne:** no i just feel like it’s good to check in and keep her updated 

**kogayne:** idk if pidge wants to go, but uhhh

**kogayne:** wanna do a joint session with me

**lanceylance:** of course

**lanceylance:** saturday?

**kogayne:** that’s when i wanna schedule it, weather-permitting

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** yeah of course i’ll go with u

**lanceylance:** what are husbands for

**kogayne:** s t o p  b e i n g c u t e

**lanceylance:** hell no

**lanceylance:** also, keith, 

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** ur texts while i was singing...they’re kiiiiinda gay

**kogayne:** WOW I HAD NO IDEA

**lanceylance:** ;)

**kogayne:** alright i’m probably distracting u get back to rehearsal i’ll be in the auditorium soon

**lanceylance:** actually u are NOT distracting me, i’ve got a while before i’m on

**lanceylance:** hurry ur butt up so i can go in koala mode

**kogayne:** piggyback

**lanceylance:** HELL YES

**lanceylance:** tell the copy machine to go faster 

**kogayne:** sorry speaking machine is pidge’s forte and she left

**lanceylance:** dammit kogane

**kogayne:** don’t blame me blame the school’s shitty copier

**kogayne:** chill mcclain i’ll be there soon

 

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**takashmeoutside:** someone come to target and tell my idiot coworker to shut up

**mattata:** what’s going on

**takashmeoutside:** one guess

**mattata:** sendick

**takashmeoutside:** yeah

**takashmeoutside:** he won’t shut up about how he’s trying to get the manager position

**mattata:** pfffft what, is olia leaving 

**takashmeoutside:** NO WHICH IS THE WEIRD THING

**allurable:** is sendak...planning murder…

**takashmeoutside:** either that or he’s trying to get her fired?

**mattata:** KLANCE WYA

**kogayne:** rehearsal still?

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** and we’re all going to work right after 

**lanceylance:** ^^^^^^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** my gremlin services are available!!

**mattata:** shiro i am coming with pidge 

**carrierpidgeon:** OPERATION GET SENDAK FIRED 2.0, PIDGE EDITION >:D

 

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**kogayne:** it’s been awful quiet

**kogayne:** u guys get him fired

**carrierpidgeon:** HE TRIED TO SQUARE UP WITH ME

**carrierpidgeon:** OLIA CAUGHT HIM

**takashmeoutside:** apparently he’s been talking a loooooot of shit to our other coworkers, and they all threw him under the bus

**kogayne:** it’s what he deserves 

**takashmeoutside:** he’s currently under review i hope he gets fired

**mattata:** me too

**mattata:** ultimate revenge

**mattata:** HOW’S REHEARSAL

**shayfromstatefarm:** almost over

**shayfromstatefarm:** i thought i was mildly tone deaf but uhhhh i don’t feel as bad now

**hunkerdunker:** u sing like an angel shhh

**shayfromstatefarm:** aw :)

**kogayne:** lance tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** fight me

**lanceylance:** LET HIM BE AFFECTIONATE

**shayfromstatefarm:** next rehearsal we’re playing chicken and he’s going down

**lanceylance:** WHO SAYS WE NEED TO WAIT

**lanceylance:** AFTER WORK BEHIND THE BUILDING

**shayfromstatefarm:** IT’LL BE COLD

**lanceylance:** WEAK

**shayfromstatefarm:** MMMMMMMMM

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so did u do chicken 

**kogayne:** hunay kicked our asses

**kogayne:** we don’t wanna talk about it

**takashmeoutside:** lmfao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO SCHOOL TOMORROW IDK IF I'LL DO SQUAD UP BC I WANNA USE MY TIME TO WRITE SGD
> 
> (speaking of which: [chapter 26](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/31946031) went live yesterday)
> 
> ALSO I WROTE A ONESHOT THAT'S COMING OUT ON MARCH 19TH IT'S PRETTY CUTE
> 
> SEE YA WHENEVER


	109. what the fuck is going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> summary for the last few days: snow days. keith and lance are soft with each other probably.
> 
> today: the group chat is up to no good (something about angels and pickles??? wtf??); rolo and nyma are still being some trick-ass bitches; it's a half day at school why is so much happening??? ft. heavy doses of klance, the broganes, and some platonic shance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO SO THIS WOULD'VE BEEN UP A LOT SOONER BUT IF YOU FOLLOW MY INSTAGRAM (NERDYSPACEACE) YOU KNOW SOME SHIT WENT DOWN TONIGHT. IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW MY INSTA I'LL SUM IT UP IN THE END NOTE BUT WOOOOOOOOW I MEANT TO PUT THIS UP SOONER
> 
> also this is a long boi

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**lanceylance:** i love half days

**lanceylance:** i love sleeping more than four hours

**lanceylance:** i love coffee

**lanceylance:** i love keith

**takashmeoutside:** waaaaaait wait wait wait back up how much sleep do you get?

**lanceylance:** I WENT TO BED AT 1:30 IT WAS MAGICAL

**kogayne:** he was very happy this morning 

**lanceylance:** i still AM happy this morning

**mattata:** and how much sleep did YOU get, keith

**kogayne:** three hours

**mattata:** mmmmmm and how do u feel about that decision

**kogayne:** i got to watch lance sleep while i did last-minute homework

**kogayne:** i feel good

**lanceylance:** :) my guardian angel

**takashmeoutside:** keith? angel?

**allurable:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**mattata:** *fallen angel

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^^^

**kogayne:** >:O OFFENDED

**lanceylance:** STOP DOING MY BABY DIRTY

**carrierpidgeon:** ur baby is a demon from the depths of hell

**lanceylance:** HE’S AN ANGEL WHO GETS MISUNDERSTOOD LEAVE HIM ALOOOOOOONE FUCKING FIGHT ME

**kogayne:** ily

**lanceylance:** <333

**hunkerdunker:** yeah i’m with klance keith is a good dude who gets misunderstood bc he’s emo as fuck

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

**carrierpidgeon:** nope fallen angel

**carrierpidgeon:** hurt someone he loves and he bears down on u with the wrath of hell

**lanceylance:** nope he’s attacking with heavenly fire

**carrierpidgeon:** cohf?

**kogayne:** WE AGREED NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT

**kogayne:** ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY KEITH IS AN ANGEL

**kogayne:** sometimes i’m an angel with a shotgun but i’m still an angel

**lanceylance:** NO OH MY GOD SHUT UP THAT SONG MAKES ME EMOTIONAL

**kogayne:** im gonna put it on the playlist

**lanceylance:** U ASS

**kogayne:** ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S TOO EARLY FOR MUSH

**lanceylance:** YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELF

**lanceylance:** YOU ALL ATTACKED THE BOYF

**lanceylance:** FEEL THE WRATH OF A THOUSAND SWOLLEN HEARTS

**takashmeoutside:** smh

**allurable:** this is sweet actually

**mattata:** why do i feel like allura egged them on on purpose

**allurable:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** wouldn’t be surprised tbh

**allurable:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** have i been played

**takashmeoutside:** by my girlfriend

**takashmeoutside:** again

**allurable:** i dunno kashi, have u

**mattata:** fsfdfhtedgrfersdv [eats popcorn]

**allurable:** i played u too matthew

**mattata:** i know but the difference between me and nut butter bar over there is i’m amused by this

**kogayne:** u know who’s not amused

**kogayne:** me

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** wanna fuck with the group chat and see how long we can keep this fight going

**takashmeoutside:** cjdjsnejdj lets do it 

**kogayne:** bet

 

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**kogayne:** I AM A GOOD PERSON

**takashmeoutside:** usually good people don’t need to make the claim that they’re good people

**kogayne:** I HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF, SHIRO

**lanceylance:** HE’S A GOOD PERSON

**lanceylance:** THERE U HEARD IT FROM A DIFFERENT SOURCE

**takashmeoutside:** biased

**kogayne:** fight me asshat

**takashmeoutside:** good people don’t fight

**kogayne:** have u read a history book

**lanceylance:** did u pass high school history

**shayfromstatefarm:** have u studied history

**shayfromstatefarm:** DGFHJTIRFJHEJRIDJGV ALL THREE OF US

**lanceylance:** RHTHTFJKTFKYFU

**allurable:** “good people don’t fight” i’m gonna make a plaque attributing that quote to shiro

**takashmeoutside:** I Have Made A Grave Mistake

**kogayne:** AND HOW MUCH SLEEP DID /YOU/ GET JACKASS

**takashmeoutside:** PLENTY

**kogayne:** MMMMMMMMMMM

**lanceylance:** hey yeah real talk here WHY DO YOU ALL HATE KEITH

**lanceylance:** also keith you’re doing amazing sweetie

**carrierpidgeon:** barf

**lanceylance:** square up gremlin

**allurable:** i don’t hate keith

**lanceylance:** yeah then stop telling him he’s a bad person

**lanceylance:** assholes

**carrierpidgeon:** no

**lanceylance:** SQUARE. UP.

**hunkerdunker:** DID THE ADULTS AND PIDGE GET ENOUGH SLEEP

**takashmeoutside:** I ALREADY ANSWERED THAT QUESTION

**lanceylance:** I’M SERIOUS HERE WHY ARE WE HATING ON KEITH TODAY

**lanceylance:** IS IT “BE MEAN TO KEITH” DAY

**lanceylance:** IS THIS A PRANK

**lanceylance:** BC HONESTLY THIS IS A SHITTY PRANK

**takashmeoutside:** honestly it started as a joke

**kogayne:** APOLOGIZE

**takashmeoutside:** no

**takashmeoutside:** u finished the pickles in the fridge and didn’t leave a note or buy more

**kogayne:** HOLD UP

**kogayne:** YOU’RE BEING MEAN OVER PICKLES

**mattata:** i was bandwagoning so hold up i’m bandwagoning on a pickle grudge?

**allurable:** oH

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m just screwing around

**carrierpidgeon:** i had no knowledge of this pickle grudge

**kogayne:** I’M BEING DONE DIRTY OVER /PICKLES/

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ , _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ , _ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ , _ **_allurable_ ** _ , and  _ **_mattata_ ** _ to  _ **_pickle grudge wtf_ **

**lanceylance:** okay real talk

**lanceylance:** what’s going on with the broganes

**allurable:** idk man

**lanceylance:** anyone know if shiro’s having an episode

**mattata:** not to my knowledge

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** fdjihtyfghdrxf lance made a separate group chat

**takashmeoutside:** HE DIDN’T

**kogayne:** HE DID

**kogayne:** how long u wanna keep this prank going for

**takashmeoutside:** as long as we can

**takashmeoutside:** this is the best idea we’ve had all week

**kogayne:** yeah i know

**kogayne:** they have  n o idea omfg

**kogayne:** wanna know the upside to this

**takashmeoutside:** ur gonna say something about lance aren’t you

**kogayne:** s o f t

**kogayne:** i mean yeah i feel bad that i’m pranking him but hE’S SOFT

 

**_pickle grudge wtf_ **

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT WAIT

**lanceylance:** oh this boy is not slick whatsoever

**allurable:** explain

**lanceylance:** hold on lemme just

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** yep, lanceylance, snooper extraordinaire

**mattata:** “they have  n o idea omfg” well actually

**carrierpidgeon:** i knew they were up to something

**shayfromstatefarm:** no u didn’t

**carrierpideon:** yeah no i didn’t

**lanceylance:** “ur gonna say something about lance aren’t you” how often does he talk about me to shiro

**mattata:** buddy,,,

**hunkerdunker:** BUDDY

**allurable:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**lanceylance:** DOES HE TALK ABOUT ME A LOT

**hunkerdunker:** u know how that one time in thace’s class u spent LITERALLY THE ENTIRE PERIOD talking about how much u loved him, to the point thace had to tell u to shut up

**lanceylance:** i was in a real good mood that day 

**lanceylance:** anyway yeah

**hunkerdunker:** it’s lik that

**hunkerdunker:** *like

**lanceylance:** lick that, u say ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**hunkerdunker:** NO

**mattata:** oh jeez

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway so now how are we gonna get back at them for this

**lanceylance:** can’t believe it’s only first period and we’ve discovered their atrocities

**lanceylance:** there’s the bell, we regroup in 5

 

**_pickle grudge wtf_ **

**lanceylance:** okay hello regroup

**lanceylance:** okay one thing i gotta get out of the way

**lanceylance:** to the three of you who bandwagoned with shiro:

**lanceylance:** choke.

**mattata:** on anything specific

**mattata:** like, do u want it phallic, or

**lanceylance:** hi i hate u

**lanceylance:** two

**lanceylance:** yes

**mattata:** so should i text shiro orrrrrr

**carrierpidgeon:** there are some things i want bleached from my brain and that’s one of them

**mattata:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY DO BOTH OF U HAVE THAT SHORTCUT SAVED

**lanceylance:** because we can

**lanceylance:** anyway, anyone got a plan for getting back at them

**carrierpidgeon:** and here i thought u were the mastermind

**lanceylance:** i can’t do all the braining here pidgeotto

**allurable:** we all start fighting out of nowhere?

**lanceylance:** mmm

**carrierpidgeon:** break

**lanceylance:** if that idea finishes the way i think it will i will break /you/ that’s called emotional abuse and i’m not here for that

**hunkerdunker:** o shit

**carrierpidgeon:** I WAS GONNA SAY BREAKDANCE GENTLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY BUT OKAY

**allurable:** do u expect any of us to believe that

**mattata:** but if he starts breakdancing he gets a flashmob going

**carrierpidgeon:** yes exactly

**allurable:** okay anyone besides matthew

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway i was really gonna say everyone break ur snap streaks with them to be petty

**lanceylance:** nooo keith’s my longest streak :(

**lanceylance:** i’ll break it with shiro tho

**allurable:** i like the fight thing better

**allurable:** what are we gonna fight about

**lanceylance:** well i can be angry at u matt and pidge for being little ASSHOLES to keith without knowing what’s happening

**allurable:** okay

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk and i already sided with klance

**lanceylance:** aaaaaah i see, we let them think they ignited a war ;)

**hunkerdunker:** how far do we escalate things

**lanceylance:** far but not far enough to make them lose their shit

**carrierpidgeon:** lance we gotta stage a fistfight

**lanceylance:** jcskxndndkdn 

**lanceylance:** do u know how shook keith would be

**carrierpidgeon:** lets do it

**lanceylance:** alright 

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT GO TEAM LET’S HATE THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER

**hunkerdunker:** side note if the roasts get too personal i’m backing out

**lanceylance:** oh yeah good note DON’T HIT TOO HARD

**lanceylance:** or i might actually hit someone

 

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE SNAPPING AT KEITH OVER /PICKLES/ WHAT THE /FUCK/ SHIRO

**carrierpidgeon:** what the /fuck/, richard

**lanceylance:** dont meme at me im angry at you too 

**lanceylance:** why did u all jump on keith when u didn’t even know the situation

**takashmeoutside:** I’M STILL BITTER

**kogayne:** APPARENTLY

**kogayne:** U GONNA OWN UP AND APOLOGIZE

**takashmeoutside:** U DIDN’T APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR THIEVERY

**kogayne:** I WENT GROCERY SHOPPING LAST WEEKEND

**takashmeoutside:** WITH MY CARD

**kogayne:** DOESNT MATTER I STILL LIVE HERE I CANT STEAL FROM MY OWN HOUSE

**takashmeoutside:** THOSE WERE MY PICKLES, DEMON

**allurable:** KEITH HOW COULD U

**kogayne:** AND WHERE WAS THE NAME CARD WITH UR NAME ON IT SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** I DIDNT THINK IT NEEDED A NAMECARD

**kogayne:** USE UR FUCKING BRAIN

**takashmeoutside:** I USE MY BRAIN PLENTY I HAVE 3 STEM DEGREES

**kogayne:** YOU SURE BOAST THAT A LOT FOR SOMEONE WHO WORKS IN A FUCKING TARGET

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i was about to say something really mean kwkdndncna but you would’ve had an even worse drag and i’m not about that

**takashmeoutside:** okay so we agree we don’t touch the sensitive attacks

**kogayne:** if u use a sensitive attack i’ll fuckin deck u next time i see u

**takashmeoutside:** likewise

 

**_a normal group chat name_ **

**_hunkerdunker_ ** _ renamed  _ **_a normal group chat name_ ** _ to  _ **_ALL THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APART_ **

**hunkerdunker:** STOOOOOOOOOOP

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**mattata:** NO

**kogayne:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**hunkerdunker:** IT’S ALWAYS THE HOLTGANES

**carrierpidgeon:** KEITH CAN CHOKE

**kogayne:** FUCK OFF PIDGE

**shayfromstatefarm:** CAN WE CALM DOWN

**kogayne:** ABSOLUTELY NOT

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** LEAVE KEITH ALONE WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO TO YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** E V E R Y T H I N G

**lanceylance:** FIGHT ME

**carrierpidgeon:** ALRIGHT AFTER SCHOOL

**carrierpidgeon:** BEHIND THE SCHOOL

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT BET

**shayfromstatefarm:** OKAY WAIT NO, NO FIGHTING

**lanceylance:** she’s being MEAN TO KEITH I’LL KICK HER ASS

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M NOT TAKING IT BACK

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK PIDGE

**lanceylance:** HOLD MY FLOWER BABE

**allurable:** why does lance suddenly have a flower

**lanceylance:** AESTHETIC

**allurable:** don’t yell at me i’m fragile

**lanceylance:** DIDN’T SEEM TO BE WHEN YOU WERE DRAGGING KEITH WITHOUT FEAR OF REPERCUSSION

**allurable:** I DIDN’T THINK THERE WOULD /BE/ REPERCUSSIONS

**lanceylance:** WELP THERE ARE REPERCUSSIONS

**lanceylance:** SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES

**allurable:** NO

**allurable:** I AM SUPERIOR TO YOUR CONSEQUENCES

**allurable:** I’M SUPERIOR TO YOU PERIOD

**lanceylance:** UM MOST PEOPLE ARE ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK

**kogayne:** LANCE NO

**allurable:** LANCE YES

**kogayne:** ALLURA WHAT THE FUCK

**allurable:** HE’S RIGHT

**lanceylance:** YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY SO

 

**_pickle grudge wtf_ **

**allurable:** too far?

**lanceylance:** nah i brought it upon myself keep going

**allurable:** agdthntrgd alright

 

**_ALL THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APART_ **

**kogayne:** YEAH WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** nah she’s got a point u could do better

**lanceylance:** hey shiro

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**lanceylance:** choke

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** yEAH TONE THAT ONE THE FUCK DOWN

**takashmeoutside:** WHOOPS SORRY

**kogayne:** DRAG HIM AGAIN LIKE THAT AND I’LL FIGHT

 

**_ALL THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APART_ **

**takashmeoutside:** hey matt,

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

**lanceylance:** mmm yeah keith probably could do better but he’s stuck with me now so FUCK OFF SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** I OWN THE HOUSE HE LIVES IN

**lanceylance:** WE’LL PULL A ROMEO AND JULIET AND DON’T SAY WE WON’T 

**kogayne:** we’ll elope if we have to

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll lock u in ur room

**lanceylance:** i fuckin love flynn rider and if i have to become him for keithunzel then i will become him for keithunzel

**hunkerdunker:** keithunzel

**lanceylance:** yes

**kogayne:** my hero

**lanceylance:** ;D

 

**_ALL THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APART_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah hi stop the fake fighting hunk and i have news from study hall

**kogayne:** BUH

**kogayne:** WHA

**kogayne:** FAKE

**lanceylance:** 1\. aw cute that sounds like me

**lanceylance:** 2\. ur not slick babe

**kogayne:** u saw the texts didn’t u

**lanceylance:** yeah and then we started fuckin with u so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** wow i can’t believe

**allurable:** anyway keith on behalf of matt and pidge i apologize for bandwagoning

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s fine

**kogayne:** anyway shay what’s up

**shayfromstatefarm:** cool glad we’ve made up prepare to be embarrassed by rolo in front of everyone on monday

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** I’LL FIGHT WHAT’S THAT FUCKER UP TO

**shayfromstatefarm:** his period 5 class got moved to our lunch wave for that day only

**kogayne:** oh no

**shayfromstatefarm:** he said he’s gonna prompose

**lanceylance:** um what the fuck that’s my fucking boyfriend excuse me

**hunkerdunker:** part of me thinks nyma is gonna try and one-up him and prompose to lance

**kogayne:** hi that’s my boyfriend the fuck does she think she’s doing

**lanceylance:** do i ruin my surprise and prompose to piss them both off

**kogayne:** no don’t ruin ur surprise

**kogayne:** i say we loudly reject the both of them and carry on as if nothing happened

**carrierpidgeon:** or pretend they’re not even there

**kogayne:** that ^

**kogayne:** that’s a good idea

**lanceylance:** good thinkin pidgeotto

**lanceylance:** congrats i don’t have to kick ur ass anymore

**carrierpidgeon:** well thank goodness

**lanceylance:** i just??? hate???????? them????????????

**kogayne:** delusional

**kogayne:** u think there’s some deeper plot to this

**kogayne:** bc like

**kogayne:** there’s NO WAY they GENUINELY think we’d say yes

**hunkerdunker:** u make a valid point

**takashmeoutside:** keith why did u have to date rolo

**kogayne:** I WAS SOCIALLY AWKWARD I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WAS LIKE TILL I FELL IN LOVE WITH LANCE

**lanceylance:** SOFT

**kogayne:** nthyerwdfghn

**shayfromstatefarm:** ythink maybe they’re doing what we did today

**shayfromstatefarm:** or doing what u guys did after hoco

**shayfromstatefarm:** and they staged the breakup

**carrierpidgeon:** but why tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ to get lance and keith to break up?

**lanceylance:** but if they staged /their/ breakup what’s the payoff of having /us/ break up?

**hunkerdunker:** revenge from when u broke up with them?

**lanceylance:** ...shit

**mattata:** or maybe they just wanna fuck around

**lanceylance:** yeah as REVENGE

**kogayne:** mmm

**kogayne:** and rolo’s on watch

**kogayne:** if he tries shit he gets expelled

**kogayne:** promposing is seemingly harmless

**kogayne:** even if he knows he’ll get rejected

**allurable:** or they’re not promposing and they know hunk and shay are eavesdropping and are trying to put you two on edge?

**kogayne:** they’re not smart enough for that

**hunkerdunker:** htrewfgfnerfwds i wasn’t gonna say it

**kogayne:** ANYWAY

**kogayne:** I REALLY WISH THEY’D LEAVE US ALONE

**kogayne:** like

**kogayne:** i’m going to college next year, i finally have a good group of friends, i like myself more than i ever have in the past, i love my boyfriend

**kogayne:** can nyma and rolo just like, fuck off

**kogayne:** :(

**lanceylance:** That’s It They Have To Die

**allurable:** alright jd cool it

**carrierpidgeon:** how many times are we going to swap them as jd

**kogayne:** shut up i love when he’s protective

**carrierpidgeon:** WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPED

**kogayne:** damn right i am

**takashmeoutside:** okay why don’t we get on a good topic

**takashmeoutside:** why don’t we do gratitudes now

**lanceylance:** uhhh can we wait like 20 minutes, school gets out in 2 it’ll be chaotic

**kogayne:** wait a little longer i wanna have lunch first

**carrierpidgeon:** squad hangout?

**allurable:** HOUSE IS OPEN KIDS

**hunkerdunker:** y’all wanna do subway today

**lanceylance:** NO MEAT DAMMIT IT’S FRIDAY

**kogayne:** ur family is...very religious

**lanceylance:** i mean, not /very/

**lanceylance:** but yeah we’re more religious than most

**carrierpidgeon:** get a salad

**lanceylance:** good idea

**allurable:** cool, subway now, pizza tonight?

**lanceylance:** oooh sleepover?

**allurable:** YEEEEEEES

**carrierpidgeon:** i defend my title as space defenders champion

**lanceylance:** i’m coming at hunk to reclaim my crown at ddr

**kogayne:** gratitudes in person then?

**mattata:** ^^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** !!!! let’s do it

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** anything u want me to grab after work to save u the trip home

**kogayne:** no i’m gonna steal a bunch of lance’s stuff

**kogayne:** the stuff i have doesn’t smell like him as much

**takashmeoutside:** i should’ve expected this answer

**takashmeoutside:** u doin okay

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** pissed about rolo and nyma tho

**kogayne:** i don’t get??? what they’re up to????? we’re in fucking HIGH SCHOOL /cut the shit it’s not that deep/

**kogayne:** i’m thinking about bringing the topic up at therapy tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** u have therapy tomorrow?

**kogayne:** ...shit i knew i was forgetting something

**kogayne:** SHIT I GOTTA TALK TO PIDGE

**takashmeoutside:** glad to see you’re on top of your game

**kogayne:** i get this trait from /you/ make no mistake

**kogayne:** but anyway

**kogayne:** lance and i have a joint session tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** then yeah i’d say bring up the nyma/rolo issue tomorrow, considering lance is involved too

**takashmeoutside:** i’m really sorry u have to go thru this

**kogayne:** ugh u and me both

**kogayne:** i just want to have a nice normal happy life

**kogayne:** but INSTEAD

**kogayne:** my dad’s dead, my mom’s who the fuck knows where, my aunt and uncle are dead, my ex-boyfriend is the Worst, i have depression AND anxiety

**kogayne:** seriously who did i piss off

**kogayne:** WHO CURSED ME LIKE THIS

**takashmeoutside:** i’m not gonna invalidate ur suffering bc that’s a shitty thing to do but it could be worse

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** i mean

**kogayne:** i have u, i have the crew, i have lance

**kogayne:** i haven’t been rejected from college yet

**takashmeoutside:** “yet” ur gonna get accepted ur the fucking valedictorian

**kogayne:** mmmm

**takashmeoutside:** /keith/

**kogayne:** i know it’s just

**kogayne:** the  m o n e y

**kogayne:** between my job and yours and whatever financial aid and scholarships come our way it still won’t be enough

**takashmeoutside:** don’t worry about the money

**takasmeoutside:** you’re going to college, do you understand me?

**takashmeoutside:** i’m not letting you go through the same hell i went through

**kogayne:** don’t go broke over me

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** if i can’t afford to go to college then i’ll stay home and work

**kogayne:** i’ll take a gap year if i have to

**takashmeoutside:** absolutely not

**takashmeoutside:** listen

**kogayne:** nope

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** you can’t just sacrifice your life for me

**takashmeoutside:** too bad i’m gonna

**takashmeoutside:** you’re one of the brightest kids i know and it would be a fucking shame to let your future go to waste

**kogayne:** listen i’m not trying to jab at you but you went to college, spent a whole bunch of money for three degrees, and now work at target. i could work at target if i wanted.

**takashmeoutside:** or i could move on to a better job once the older generations start fUCKING RETIRING

**takashmeoutside:** u need this education

**takashmeoutside:** you’ve worked your ass off

**takashmeoutside:** you’re going to arus with hunk and shay and lance, do you understand

**kogayne:** hhhhnnnn

**takashmeoutside:** you’ve been dreaming about this for years

**takashmeoutside:** even if u won’t own up to it

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve seen your stash of arus and garrison mail

**kogayne:** fuck

**takashmeoutside:** you’re not slick

**kogayne:** so i’ve been told

**kogayne:** several times

**kogayne:** TODAY ALONE

**takashmeoutside:** you’re going to college

**kogayne:** ...i’ve already taken up a lot of your life

**takashmeoutside:** i made that decision for myself

**takashmeoutside:** and i’d do it again

**takashmeoutside:** and don’t sit there thinking “we’re just cousins”

**takashmeoutside:** we’re brothers, keith

**takashmeoutside:** and as your older brother i’m gonna make sure u live the best life u can

**kogayne:** fuck

**kogayne:** fuck why are you like this

**takashmeoutside:** don’t beat yourself up for factors you had no control over

**kogayne:** i have control over this

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**kogayne:** hhhnnnnnnn

**takashmeoutside:** we can continue this conversation later

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll be at allura’s once i get off my shift

**kogayne:** ...alright

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll see u then

**kogayne:** yep

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** hey i’m sorry about earlier

**lanceylance:** no biggy dude

**takashmeoutside:** keep an eye on keith for me?

**lanceylance:** what’s up with mulletman

**lanceylance:** he seems okay to me?

**lanceylance:** waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait YOU’RE the reason he was on his phone every two seconds

**lanceylance:** what’s up 

**takashmeoutside:** just

**takashmeoutside:** we got into a debate about college and finances

**takashmeoutside:** just...do ur thing? 

**lanceylance:** ah i gotchu dude

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ lanceylance is on the job!

**takashmeoutside:** thanks

**takashmeoutside:** by the way, i was absolutely joking when i said he could do better than u

**takashmeoutside:** u make him happy

**lanceylance:** i got that

**takashmeoutside:** no u don’t understand he blows up my phone to talk about it at least twice a week 

**lanceylance:** fgrhtnjhyrgefwdq AMAZING

**takashmeoutside:** he really can’t do much better than you

**takashmeoutside:** thanks for not being a jerk

**lanceylance:** what can i say i love him

**lanceylance:** also thanks this means a lot

**lanceylance:** see ya later shironator

**takashmeoutside:** i just had flashbacks to matt saying that one day what the fuck

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** huehuehuehue

**takashmeoutside:** OKAY BYE 

**lanceylance:** LATER HATER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was having a good day, like i went to bed at 1:30 instead of 3:30 and got dunkin after school and didn't nap all day it was magical, i didn't do SHIT in school,
> 
> and then tonight i got a call from a random number that left a voicemail when i didn't answer. the guy had a weird southern accent. he knew my name, and was making a bunch of "i-lean" jokes (next person to make a joke about one leg being shorter than the other will be promptly kicked in the kneecaps i am TIRED), and said he wanted to take me on a date. he said he got my number from someone in my calc class, so first i'm like "alright this is a prank" so immediately i text my inner circle and i'm like "yo whose number is this" because my first conclusion was "prank."
> 
> no one had the number, but two of my friends PLUS my brother got a call from the same number, and he called one of my friends a wh*re. so we're like "okay time to track down a bitch." i put the number on my finsta (with instructions to both identify the fucker and blow up his phone). my friends reach out to other friends, and the number even goes in the drama chat. one girl's dad is a cop. between some teenage sleuthing (which turned up his snapchat AND facebook), we found out where this guy lives and went to high school. the drama chat turned up his graduation year and the fact that he got into college on a baseball scholarship. i love teenagers but ANYWAY
> 
> the brother of one of my best friends was with a group of his friends, and they facetimed the guy. we later found out from her brother that this fucker's phone is BLOWING. UP. another of my friends texted him and the guy is like "no it was a misunderstanding" (weak-ass excuse, those calls were deliberate), and KARMA GOT ITS KISS FOR HIM. don't want your phone blowing up? don't be a creep lol xoxo
> 
> the one question i still have is how he got my number, my brother's, and several of my friends' beforehand, as i generally try not to link my phone number to anything. but ANYWAY that's how my friday night is, it's been about two hours and a half since this all started why is my life like this
> 
> anyway, in the meantime since the last update:  
> -NEW ONESHOT: [warm front](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13918293): it's snowing. keith's reflective. lance is there. modern au set between this chapter and the last chapter. softness. what more do you want.
> 
> idk when the next SU chapter is gonna be, whether tomorrow or monday or tuesday, i wanna get sgd updated by sunday or monday, so we'll see what happens. i'm also working on the second of the abc oneshots ;)
> 
> SEE YA WHENEVER


	110. the monday chapter i forgot to write on monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S MONDAY! ...that means rolo is up to something. the group chat discusses promposals, sports, the drama club, netflix shows, and also klance is cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually wasn't gonna write a monday chapter but then i reread the friday chapter and realized i included a monday plot point and went "welp...GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO" as if i don't have several pressing fanfics to take care of
> 
> anyway here's the chapter

**_ALL THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APART_ **

**_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ renamed  _ **_ALL THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING THIS FAMILY APART_ ** _ to  _ **_squad gc_ **

**lanceylance:** shay what kind of weak group chat name

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_squad gc_ ** _ to  _ **_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**lanceylance:** much better :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow lance tell me how you really feel

**lanceylance:** just did

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway good morning everyone are we ready for lunch drama today

**lanceylance:** fUCK that’s today

**carrierpidgeon:** okay but for real who actually thinks they’re gonna follow through with that

**kogayne:** they could both be lying

**kogayne:** or rolo could’ve said it so nyma would make a fool of herself promposing to lance

**kogayne:** or nyma said that so rolo would have more incentive to make himself look like a fool

**kogayne:** or they’re both serious about it and are so deluded that they think we’ll say yes

**lanceylance:** what if we said yes just to see their reactions

**kogayne:** can u imagine the rest of the cafeteria

**hunkerdunker:** okay satanspawn settle down there

**hunkerdunker:** i think some people still haven’t recovered from the stunt you pulled after homecoming

**lanceylance:** tyjrefsrgnghtdf that poor girl in english

**shayfromstatefarm:** STOP DOING GAIL DIRTY

**lanceylance:** i forgot her name tbh

**shayfromstatefarm:** IT IS MARCH WE’VE BEEN IN THACE’S CLASS WITH HER HOW LONG

**lanceylance:** yeah and i have like, 4 friends in that class

**hunkerdunker:** didn’t you win everyone’s friend in the yearbook

**lanceylance:** so

**shayfromstatefarm:** what kind of logic

**takashmeoutside:** i just woke up why is the group chat moving so fast

**takashmeoutside:** it’s fucking klance again i’m going back to bed

**kogayne:** fuck u shiro

**lanceylance:** hell yes it’s klance kiss my ass

**takashmeoutside:** I AM BEING ATTACKED

**mattata:** oooh this is getting good allura get the popcorn

**allurable:** [pulls up lawn chair and popcorn]

**takashmeoutside:** what the FUCK

**mattata:** i can’t wait to watch kashi get his butt kicked by two teenagers

**takashmeoutside:** MATT

**allurable:** shiro you’re doing amazing sweetie

**takashmeoutside:** whaaaaat is going ON I’M GOING BACK TO BED

**allurable:** rtnhyresdfgn

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway back to my original point

**shayfromstatefarm:** lunch today

**kogayne:** i wanna see what happens tbh

**kogayne:** part of me thinks they’ll be too scared to do anything

**lanceylance:** and if they do they better not have a nicer promposal than the one i’m planning or i will be pissed

**hunkerdunker:** oh god

**kogayne:** any promposal from u is gonna be perfect

**takashmeoutside:** we’re not doing this this early

**kogayne:** YES WE ARE

**hunkerdunker:** the only person who can one-up a lance proposal is me bc i know how it’s going down

**kogayne:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** hunk’s been my wingman from day 1

**hunkerdunker:** lance is also mine

**hunkerdunker:** he’s the only reason i ever asked out shay

**lanceylance:** :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** my wingwoman bailed after sophomore year

**carrierpidgeon:** who

**carrierpidgeon:** who bailed on u

**shayfromstatefarm:** not important

**carrierpidgeon:** IMPORTANT

**kogayne:** we want names, shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** why did i imagine u stroking a knife as u said that

**kogayne:** ...well,

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s really not important gtfhgrfwefg she moved states

**kogayne:** oh

**carrierpidgeon:** i hope everyone pictured keith dejectedly setting down a knife

**kogayne:** STOP I FEEL IDENTIFIED

**shayfromstatefarm:** her name was delia

**shayfromstatefarm:** klance and hunk should remember her

**kogayne:** i was her lab partner for (1) lab in freshman biology

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep

**shayfromstatefarm:** she moved

**shayfromstatefarm:** haven’t really talked since

**carrierpidgeon:** :( i’m sorry

**shayfromstatefarm:** nah it’s alright 

**shayfromstatefarm:** life happens, i have u guys, it’s all good

**carrierpidgeon:** ily

**shayfromstatefarm:** ily2

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**lanceylance:** hey did anyone sign up for the student-teacher basketball game

**hunkerdunker:** no

**hunkerdunker:** when even is it

**lanceylance:** a week from thursday

**lanceylance:** a bunch of my clubs are asking for student volunteers

**kogayne:** i volunteered for nhs

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m doing it

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah no thanks i’m gonna watch from the sidelines

**lanceylance:** do u guys think i should do it

**mattata:** leggy

**mattata:** yes

**kogayne:** do it

**kogayne:** DO IT

**kogayne:** DO IT

**kogayne:** DO IT

**takashmeoutside:** is thace playing for the teachers

**shayfromstatefarm:** no one knows who’s on the teacher team

**kogayne:** part of me wishes morvok and zarkon were still here

**kogayne:** they used to do it

**kogayne:** i would’ve handed their asses to them

**hunkerdunker:** are u even good at basketball

**kogayne:** i played all the way through eighth grade

**carrierpidgeon:** “i played all the way through eighth grade” the kid was the fucking point guard

**lanceylance:** yeah because he’s short

**kogayne:** excuse me i don’t see you bragging about your past basketball experiences

**lanceylance:** i was too busy swimming and doing soccer excuse me

**hunkerdunker:** don’t forget the lacrosse phase

**lanceylance:** we don’t talk about the lacrosse phase

**kogayne:** what’s the lacrosse phase i wanna know about my dork boyfriend

**lanceylance:** dork

**lanceylance:** that’s new

**kogayne:** nerd didn’t fit as well in this case

**carrierpidgeon:** he barely fits the definition of nerd as it is

**lanceylance:** fight me

**hunkerdunker:** ANYWAY the lacrosse phase

**lanceylance:** shut your fuck

**hunkerdunker:** i always thought about lacrosse as some weird version of like, field hockey

**kogayne:** okay wait i know what lacrosse IS but what’s it got to do with starboy over there

**lanceylance:** Hunk Shut Your Fuck

**hunkerdunker:** a lot of the lacrosse players were bigger than him 

**hunkerdunker:** in like every way

**hunkerdunker:** weight muscle height

**lanceylance:** HUNK SHUT YOUR FUCK

**kogayne:** oh god

**hunkerdunker:** lance spent an entire season getting pummeled

**hunkerdunker:** and now has a fear of lacrosse sticks, and also getting smacked in the face with a lacrosse ball

**lanceylance:** my helmet hated me

**lanceylance:** but ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** MOVING ON

**hunkerdunker:** it should be noted that a lot of boys who did lacrosse in the spring did football in autumn

**kogayne:** thank makes sense

**lanceylance:** thank makes sense

**kogayne:** ***that fuck

**lanceylance:** :P

**shayfromstatefarm:** i would do lacrosse this spring but the musical is life

**lanceylance:** THEATRE KIDS UNITE

**lanceylance:** mmm i’m sad i don’t have to be at rehearsal today and then THIS SNOW TOMORROW’S GONNA CANCEL SCHOOL AGAIN

**kogayne:** the one year the drama club gets going on the musical early instead of last-minute and mother nature is like “lol fuck u”

**lanceylance:** listen, nothing will ever be as chaotic as annie

**carrierpidgeon:** chaotic evil

**hunkerdunker:** who, mother nature or annie

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**lanceylance:** pidge u have NO IDEA like whatever u think it was worse

**carrierpidgeon:** is it tho

**lanceylance:** it was sound of music on STEROIDS

**carrierpidgeon:** sound wasn’t even that bad

**lanceylance:** when comparing it to oz, annie and sound were not nearly as smooth as they could’ve been

**kogayne:** oz, u mean where u got stuck in ur costume and had to be helped out of it by ur arch nemesis

**lanceylance:** oz, u mean where u broke a door and i could’ve ratted u out but i generously agreed to help u fix it

**kogayne:** yeah bc i had to rescue u from the tulle monster

**lanceylance:** fight me

**shayfromstatefarm:** THAT’S HOW THEY STOPPED FIGHTING?

**shayfromstatefarm:** I THOUGHT THEY JUST GOT BORED OF IT

**kogayne:** no lance got trapped in his costume and i broke a door

**hunkerdunker:** ...didn’t that get pinned on a junior when someone finally found out

**kogayne:** yes

**hunkerdunker:** and u never thought “maybe i should own up and save this innocent junior”

**kogayne:** that junior was an asshole he deserved it

**hunkerdunker:** u know what ur right 

**mattata:** wait i just opened the chat how did we go from basketball to theatre

**lanceylance:** the drama club never sleeps

**lanceylance:** but also that reminds me i have to go volunteer for the basketball game

**kogayne:** there’s a meeting for it friday after school

**lanceylance:** bet

**hunkerdunker:** pidge and i will film all of you from the sidelines and cheer u on

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk can film u i’ll be eating all the sour patch kids from concessions that i can

**carrierpidgeon:** unless one of u fucks up then u bet ur ass i’ll be filming

**kogayne:** wouldn’t expect anything less

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**allurable:** is it ur lunch wave yet

**allurable:** what’s happening

**allurable:** fill me in

**kogayne:** um we just got to lunch 

**kogayne:** nothing is happening yet

**lanceylance:** i can shove food down my throat if u want

**takashmeoutside:** please spare us

**hunkerdunker:** ^^

**carrierpidgeon:** nyma spotted entering the lunchroom

**carrierpidgeon:** situation appears normal

**lanceylance:** no poster? no balloons? no flowers?

**carrierpidgeon:** affirmative

**lanceylance:** WEAK

**carrierpidgeon:** update: first students from rolo’s class trickling in

**kogayne:** any sign of the asshole himself

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** red jacket

**carrierpidgeon:** eating a sandwich

**carrierpidgeon:** sitting with la

**carrierpidgeon:** oh never mind that’s you

**kogayne:** RUDE

**lanceylance:** pidge where are /you/

**carrierpidgeon:** lunch line

**carrierpidgeon:** ...do i smell taco mix

**lanceylance:** they put taco mix on the chicken

**carrierpidgeon:** what kind of fucking

**carrierpidgeon:** ugh

**carrierpidgeon:** ROLO SPOTTED

**carrierpidgeon:** it looks like he has a poster?

**kogayne:** ...great…

**lanceylance:** just a poster orrrrrrr

**kogayne:** WHAT are you planning

**hunkerdunker:** shhh just go with it

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s sitting down with his friends

**carrierpidgeon:** ew i think i recognize a couple from paul’s old squad

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re all confused about the poster

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s unraveling it

**kogayne:** oh no

**kogayne:** can you see what it says

**carrierpidgeon:** ...yikes

**carrierpidgeon:** it definitely says keith on it

**kogayne:** oh no

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**lanceylance:** looks like a promposal poster to me

**kogayne:** noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**kogayne:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** ugh i’m gonna have to deal with him

**carrierpidgeon:** yep and he’s getting up

**carrierpidgeon:** this lunch line needs to move faster

**takashmeoutside:** i’m dreading the outcome of this situation

**mattata:** I CAN’T WAIT

**allurable:** two kinds of people

**carrierpidgeon:** actually there are three, the third wouldn’t give a shit

**allurable:** three kinds of people

**kogayne:** well, here he comes

**carrierpidgeon:** TELL HIM TO WAIT I AM GETTING MY LUNCH NOW

**kogayne:** i don’t think that’s how that works

**kogayne:** okay you know what i’m going to the bathroom bye

**lanceylance:** ryrtdsfdfgfd amazing

**kogayne:** lemme know if he follows

**lanceylance:** noooope he’s...just staring at the door

**lanceylance:** clutching his rolled-up poster like an asshole

**lanceylance:** ew why is he still walking over here

**allurable:** ew i don’t know

**allurable:** tell him to go away

**shayfromstatefarm:** as we’ve seen in the past he’s not likely to run unless for upperclassmen holding wooden boards are coming at him

**kogayne:** what’s he doing

**lanceylance:** “where’s keith?”

**lanceylance:** “who are you texting?”

**lanceylance:** “i have something important to ask him.”

**kogayne:** dgfhdsffbgnd what were your answers

**hunkerdunker:** “none of your business.”

**hunkerdunker:** “none of your business.”

**hunkerdunker:** “he’s not taking messages at this time.”

**kogayne:** lance i fucking love you

**lanceylance:** i try

**lanceylance:** i asked what the hell he had to ask you and he went “none of your business”

**kogayne:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it kind of is

**kogayne:** unless it’s not a promposal

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE

**shayfromstatefarm:** why would he prompose to keith in front of lance tho

**kogayne:** mmmm i should text him

**lanceylance:** why would you do that to yourself

**kogayne:** i can handle this i got this

**mattata:** famous last words

**kogayne:** holt i’ll deck u

**mattata:** i’d like to see you try

**allurable:** i’ll make more popcorn!!

 

**_kogayne > yolorolo_ **

**kogayne:** i heard you wanted to ask me something

**yolorolo:** where are you? i was hoping to do things in person

**kogayne:** no.

**kogayne:** tell me what you want. if you don’t, then clearly it’s not important.

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**kogayne:** SHIT the security guard says i’ve been in here too long

**kogayne:** i’m returning

**kogayne:** is rolo still at our table or do i need to hit the snack line to avoid him

**carrierpidgeon:** he went and sat at the empty table, he’s typing very intently

 

**_yolorolo > kogayne_ **

**yolorolo:** i want to apologize for the way i’ve treated you over the last couple years

**kogayne:** ...okay

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i don’t like this

**lanceylance:** is he gonna apologize for trying to jump you and sending you into a panic attack, too?

**kogayne:** do you think he’ll even realize that warrants a separate apology all on its own

**lanceylance:** werethfds probably not

**lanceylance:** what a dick

**kogayne:** trnyrtegdbd HE’S STILL TYPING 

**kogayne:** HE’S STILL TYPING LANCE

**lanceylance:** he’s gonna hit u with like, one sentence that took forever to figure out how to word properly

**kogayne:** honestly you’re probably right

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna go back to the table he’s gonna start talking to me

**lanceylance:** tell him to fuck off

**lanceylance:** i’ll tell him to fuck off

**kogayne:** no i gotta fight my battle

**lanceylance:** >:( don’t fight it alone LET ME HELP

**kogayne:** I HAVE THIS

**lanceylance:** if u start having an anxious breakdown i stg

**kogayne:** i won’t i promise i just hate rolo a lot

 

**_yolorolo > kogayne_ **

**yolorolo:** i should have acted better to you

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** HOYL SHIT 

**lanceylance:** AMAZING

**kogayne:** “i should’ve acted better to you” YEAH NO SHIT SHERLOCK

**lanceylance:** HE DID YOU SO DIRTY WHAT THE HELL

**lanceylance:** THAT DOESN’T EVEN BEGIN TO COVER IT

**kogayne:** welp i’m out of the snack line i am returning

**lanceylance:** dude honestly just go to your locker or something, or head to physics

**lanceylance:** say you have to go see a teacher or something

**lanceylance:** ...shit your stuff is here, including your pass book

**kogayne:** mmm yep 

**kogayne:** THIS IS FINE

**lanceylance:** he spotted you just fyi

 

**_yolorolo > kogayne_ **

**yolorolo:** hello??

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** he’s about to try and talk to me rip

**lanceylance:** I’M HERE FOR THE PLAY-BY-PLAY

**lanceylance:** HI, I’M LANCE AND THIS IS JACKASS

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith isn’t happy

**shayfromstatefarm:** rolo’s trying to get him to talk “in private” aka the empty table

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance put an arm around him

**lanceylance:** I SAID I WAS DOING THE PLAY-BY-PLAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance can’t keep up with one hand

**lanceylance:** EGHJYM

**shayfromstatefarm:** my point exactly

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith: “why do you need to talk to me”

**shayfromstatefarm:** rolo: “well, i wanted to make things up to you”

**shayfromstatefarm:** rolo: “i was hoping to ask in private”

**takashmeoutside:** ew get that idiot away from my brother

**hunkerdunker:** ugh mood

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith: “whatever you have to say to me, you can say here”

**shayfromstatefarm:** rolo: “i was hoping we could go out sometime, just to really talk things through”

**carrierpidgeon:** lance’s expression could kill someone right now

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith: “no”

**allurable:** but what’s with the poster

**shayfromstatefarm:** idk

**shayfromstatefarm:** rolo: “please. i’m not trying to start any drama. just to apologize.” 

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s a giant i’m sorry poster holy shit

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** fmekdnfjwndhr

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith: “did a kindergartener draw that”

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**mattata:** THAT’S MY HONORARY LITTLE BROTHER

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith: “anyway, not interested. bye.”

**shayfromstatefarm:** rolo just walked away very pissed off

**kogayne:** self-care is not letting someone who made you miserable back into your life

**allurable:** so wait then why did he say he’d prompose during study

**kogayne:** probably to piss off nyma

**lanceylance:** ^

**kogayne:** anyway glad that’s done with

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**hunkerdunker:** anyone got any show recs

**hunkerdunker:** we’ve got a sub in health this is literally study hall

**carrierpidgeon:** brain games

**carrierpidgeon:** watch brain games it’s on netflix fUCKING DO IT

**lanceylance:** great british baking show

**hunkerdunker:** i already watched that what kind of person do you take me for

**kogayne:** i am number four

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t do that to yourself the book was better

**kogayne:** i’ll concede that but have you considered: alex pettyfer

**lanceylance:** isn’t he blonde in IANF

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** he looks like logan paul in that one

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** NO

_ (6) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** face the facts, mulletman

**hunkerdunker:** holy shit he’s right

**kogayne:** NO STOP

**kogayne:** STOP THIS

**lanceylance:** YOU HAD A CRUSH ON HIM WHEN THE MOVIE DROPPED DIDN’T YOU

**kogayne:** ...NO…

**lanceylance:** YOU LIKED A LOGAN PAUL LOOKALIKE I’M YELLING

**kogayne:** PIDGE CHANGE THE SUBJECT HELP ME OUT HERE

**carrierpidgeon:** WATCH BLACK MIRROR OR BRAIN GAMES

**shayfromstatefarm:** i haven’t watched any of these rytegwdggrs

**kogayne:** lance wanna binge black mirror with me this weekend

**lanceylance:** IT’S A DATE

**hunkerdunker:** so i’m gonna watch black mirror this week and blackmail them with spoiler threats

**lanceylance:** YOU WOULDN’T

**shayfromstatefarm:** better idea: we have a double date binge party this weekend

**carrierpidgeon:** ew relationships

**mattata:** i’ve got saturday off pidge we can screw around and have some sibling bonding time

**carrierpidgeon:** THANKS MATT

**mattata:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t have saturday off rip

**allurable:** neither do i -_-

**kogayne:** SUCKS TO SUCK

**mattata:** actually,

**kogayne:** NO

 

**_yolorolo > kogayne_ **

**yolorolo:** i am sorry, you know.

**kogayne:** good for you.

**yolorolo:** any particular reason you won’t hear me out?

**kogayne:** i don’t have the energy for this conversation.

**yolorolo:** is that the only reason?

**kogayne:** are you trying to imply something?

**kogayne:** are you trying to attack lance without outright saying it? 

**kogayne:** are you trying to imply that i won’t talk to you because he’s controlling me or something?

**kogayne:** i’m not talking to you because you’ve done things i can’t forgive.

**kogayne:** you’ve said things about people i love that i won’t stand for.

**kogayne:** you made me feel like shit throughout the last few months of our relationship.

**kogayne:** i appreciate the apology, i really do.

**kogayne:** but contact me again and we’ll be having issues. stop trying to come back into my life. 

**kogayne:** people leave for a reason.

**yolorolo:** ...well then.

**yolorolo:** i understand.

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i’m boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored

**lanceylance:** i told you to come over

**kogayne:** you know what? it’s gonna snow

**kogayne:** school’s gonna be cancelled

**kogayne:** i’m coming over

**lanceylance:** we don’t know for sure school is gonna be cancelled

**kogayne:** it’s gonna be cancelled i’m calling it

**kogayne:** let me come over dammit

**lanceylance:** i wasn’t stopping you i was just pointing out that we need to go to bed at a reasonable time

**lanceylance:** anyway u doin okay after today

**lanceylance:** has he tried contacting you again

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** one sec

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** damn

**kogayne:** was i too harsh

**lanceylance:** in my opinion u weren’t harsh enough

**lanceylance:** i would’ve dragged his ass through the pits of hell

**lanceylance:** as it is i’ve been resisting the urge all day but if i do something then he’s gonna twist it so i’m the bad guy and i’m not about that life

**lanceylance:** but i’m glad you told him off

**kogayne:** hhh i was .2 seconds away from spilling all of my feelings

**lanceylance:** what

**lanceylance:** why

**kogayne:** bc i was getting upset

**kogayne:** then i realized he doesn’t need to know the exact reasons

**lanceylance:** :( why didn’t u text me sooner i would’ve come back to ur house like asap

**kogayne:** i calmed myself down

**kogayne:** besides u had to watch clara and javier, i’m pretty sure their well-being is a little more important than rolo

**lanceylance:** >:( ur the important one

**kogayne:** UR NIECE AND NEPHEW

**kogayne:** next thing u know emely finds out and beats my ass

**lanceylance:** egdfhgfwegd she’d fight me she likes you

**kogayne:** well then

**kogayne:** anyway i’m gonna come in like...20 minutes?

**lanceylance:** u wanna get our stuff set up for like, games and movies and stuff just in case tomorrow is cancelled

**lanceylance:** and then like...go somewhere?

**kogayne:** where would we go

**lanceylance:** i dunno

**lanceylance:** i just wanna do something with u

**lanceylance:** wanna go to the diner?

**lanceylance:** late-night diner run?

**kogayne:** cute

**kogayne:** yeah i’m in

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** love u

**kogayne:** love u too i’ll be over soon

**lanceylance:** cool

**lanceylance:** after the diner we’re watching shrek the musical, i found it on netflix 

**kogayne:** why are we dating

**lanceylance:** ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimers: i actually played basketball from 4th-8th grade, i wasn't in my school production of annie bc of how late auditions were but it's Cursed among the kids who were (and some of them refuse to acknowledge it ever existed), and the only netflix thing i listed that i actually watched was brain games (two episodes, during psych). i _did_ read the i am number four book series and i am Bitter about that series, but i never watched the movie
> 
> i'm planning on watching some new netflix shows over the course of the rest of the week tho (black mirror and galavant, specifically)
> 
> anyhoo no tuesday chapter, probably will do a wednesday chapter? 
> 
> idk byeee


	111. DODGE DUCK DIP DIVE DODGE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a dodgeball tournament at school. the squad enters at the last minute. also, klance goes on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i haven't seen or read love, simon/simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. i wanna see it, i just...don't know when
> 
> anyhoo

**_acxalutelynot > lanceylance_ **

**acxalutelynot:** hey, everybody’s friend, i need your help

**lanceylance:** what

**acxalutelynot:** dodgeball tournament is tonight

**lanceylance:** yes i’m aware

**lanceylance:** what about it

**acxalutelynot:** we had a team drop last-minute

**acxalutelynot:** do your thing and get a team together

**lanceylance:** wha

**lanceylance:** THERE’S A REASON WE DIDN’T DO IT

**acxalutelynot:** and what would that be

**lanceylance:** MY BEAUTIFUL FACE

**acxalutelynot:** please

**lanceylance:** what’s in it for me

**acxalutelynot:** if you make keith do it you get to see him kick ass

**lanceylance:** fuck you’ve discovered my weakness

**acxalutelynot:** get a team together pls

**acxalutelynot:** ez says she’d be willing to be on it

**lanceylance:** okay, do u have permission slips for all of us that we can get signed and bring tonight

**acxalutelynot:** yeah

**acxalutelynot:** you already have people?

**lanceylance:** i mean before we decided not to we were thinking about it but we were missing a sixth person

**lanceylance:** put down me, keith, hunk, shay, and pidge

**lanceylance:** and ez

**acxalutelynot:** not even surprised tbh

**acxalutelynot:** honestly i was more surprised to find out you weren’t on a team

**lanceylance:** welp ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ now i am

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ ,  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ ,  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ , _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ , and _ **_dinezor_ ** _ to  _ **_DODGE DUCK DIP DIVE DODGE_ **

**lanceylance:** LOOK ALIVE FUCKERS WE’RE SIGNED UP FOR TONIGHT’S DODGEBALL TOURNAMENT

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT

**kogayne:** FUCK YES

**hunkerdunker:** BUT HOW

**hunkerdunker:** THE DEADLINE TO SIGN UP WAS LAST WEEK

**lanceylance:** YEAH I KNOW BUT ACXA TEXTED ME AND SAID A TEAM DROPPED AND THEY NEED ANOTHER TEAM TO BALANCE IT OUT

**lanceylance:** SO I WAS LIKE “YEAH PUT US DOWN” AND WE HAVE EZ NOW SO WE HAVE A 6TH PERSON

**dinezor:** HELLO

**hunkerdunker:** WE HAVE NO JERSEYS, NO TEAM NAME

**shayfromstatefarm:** well we’re all in the drama club or crew

**shayfromstatefarm:** we could make it the drama club team

**carrierpidgeon:** CALL IT THE THEATRE THUGS

**kogayne:** ...from drake and josh?

**carrierpidgeon:** HTYRFDGN YEAH

**lanceylance:** you’re old enough to remember drake and josh?

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M ONLY TWO YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU

**lanceylance:** listen there are a lot of things your generation calls the “good old days” and my generation is like “wHA T A TRE THEY DOUNG”

**carrierpidgeon:** typos and all, huh

**lanceylance:** HUSH

**lanceylance:** the seniors looking at all the underclassmen is basically that one vine of the girl in the white blanket screaming “WHAT ARE YOU DOING”

**carrierpidgeon:** WE’RE NOT THAT BAD

**kogayne:** i mean she has a point, they could be worse

**kogayne:** they could be THAT generation

**lanceylance:** AHEMAHEMAHEMAHEM

**hunkerdunker:** once this generation turns fully 18 it’s over for those bitches

**lanceylance:** I’M YELLING I DIDN’T THINK HUNK WOULD BE THE ONE TO SAY IT

**dinezor:** this is amazing

**dinezor:** what are our uniforms tho

**dinezor:** we can’t kick ass if we don’t look good doing it

**lanceylance:** why weren’t we friends sooner

**dinezor:** i dunno man

**lanceylance:** anyway the theatre thug wore all black

**kogayne:** smh cast members wanna be crew so badly

**lanceylance:** shut your fuck

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY

**kogayne:** aNyWaY

**lanceylance:** who are you, me

**shayfromstatefarm:** every day, they become more and more like each other

**shayfromstatefarm:** horrifying

**lanceylance:** A N Y W A Y

**lanceylance:** did everyone get a shirt when we did arsenic and old lace

**lanceylance:** bc not only are they black but they show we’re theatre kids

**dinezor:** good idea

**dinezor:** i look great in black, for the record

**dinezor:** ask acxa

**lanceylance:** keith’s an emo this is easy for him

**kogayne:** boi

**lanceylance:** <3333 i do it with love

**lanceylance:** anyway all in?

**hunkerdunker:** yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep

**dinezor:** YEAH

**kogayne:** sure

**carrierpidgeon:** DODGEBAAAAALL

**lanceylance:** cool 

**lanceylance:** ez i’m lazy u tell acxa

**dinezor:** no

**dinezor:** do it urself lazy butt

**lanceylance:** i don’t wannaaaaaa :((((

**dinezor:** kogane corral ur boyfriend

**kogayne:** but he doesn’t wannaaaaaa

**dinezor:** awful. both of you.

**lanceylance:** ur right i’m the worst

**carrierpidgeon:** finally someone else sees it

**lanceylance:** eat a dick

**carrierpidgeon:** isn’t that keith’s job

**lanceylance:** ummmm mine hunk and shay’s too

**shayfromstatefarm:** well this wasn’t on today’s agenda

**kogayne:** nope

**hunkerdunker:** i was thinking more like “eat a sandwich at lunch”

**lanceylance:** welp

**kogayne:** smh

 

**_lanceylance > acxalutelynot_ **

**lanceylance:** all in

**lanceylance:** we’re the theatre thugs

**acxalutelynot:** ...like from drake and josh?

**lanceylance:** yes

**acxalutelynot:** did you or ez come up with that one

**lanceylance:** pidge, actually

**acxalutelynot:** SHE’S OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER DRAKE AND JOSH?

**lanceylance:** hntegnfbd THAT’S WHAT I SAID

**lanceylance:** i’m losing my concept of time

**acxalutelynot:** damn, me too

**acxalutelynot:** anyway thanks

**acxalutelynot:** i’ve got math with keith so i’ll give him the permission slips then

**lanceylance:** bet

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** BABE

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**kogayne:** TOMORROW

**kogayne:** REALLY TONIGHT

**kogayne:** OH MY GOD WE SHOULD DO IT TONIGHT

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** OH MY GOD

**kogayne:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**kogayne:** AFTER THE DODGEBALL TOURNAMENT WE’RE GOING TO GET FOOD AND WE’RE GOING ON A MOVIE DATE YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY NO

**lanceylance:** WASN’T GONNA SAY NO

**kogayne:** I’M SO

**kogayne:** GAY ROMCOM

**kogayne:** GAY! ROMCOM! I’M ALIVE

**kogayne:** LANCE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I’M TRYING NOT TO YELL RIGHT NOW

**kogayne:** ANY MINUTE ULAZ IS GONNA DEMAND MY PHONE EGWFEGEBRGRWD

**lanceylance:** you’re like a puppy this is so cute i’m gonna cry

**kogayne:** IT’S SO DIFFICULT TO FIND HAPPY GAYS IN A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

**kogayne:** BUT THIS ONE HAS HAPPY GAYS

**kogayne:** NO ONE DIES!!! THEY’RE ALL HAPPY IN THE END!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE WANTED THIS

**lanceylance:** I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU 

**kogayne:** I’M GONNA EXPLODE

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAA TODAY IS GONNA BE SUCH A GOOD DAY

**kogayne:** OKAY I’M GONNA GO DO MY WORK ULAZ IS LOOKING AT ME WEIRD

**kogayne:** I LOVE YOU

**lanceylance:** I LOVE YOU TOO  <33333

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**takashmeoutside:** what are you hooligans up to

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** por qué

**takashmeoutside:** the group chat is never silent by the time /keith/ is in thace’s class

**kogayne:** how do u know i’m in thace’s

**takashmeoutside:** the schedule of that hellhole is burned into my mind forever

**lanceylance:** well actually they’re switching to block schedules next year

**carrierpidgeon:** WAIT WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT WAS CONFIRMED?

**lanceylance:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** MOTHER OF FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S GOOD ON A DAY YOU HAVE CLASSES YOU LIKE BUT WHAT ABOUT CLASSES YOU DON’T

**kogayne:** did u mean: college

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** GARRISON DECISIONS FOR BOYF AND I COME OUT IN FOUR DAYS DON’T MIND ME SCREAMING

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** BUT WHAT ARE YOU HOOLIGANS UP TO

**takashmeoutside:** WHY’S THE GC BEEN DEAD

**kogayne:** lance roped us all into doing the dodgeball tournament

**lanceylance:** wow don’t sound so pained about it, you’re excited

**takashmeoutside:** keith u were complaining a couple weeks ago about how u couldn’t pull a team together bc u were down a person

**kogayne:** i am being exposed i do not much appreciate this

**mattata:** so should we go to the dodgeball game now to support

**kogayne:** um no

**carrierpidgeon:** nah

**allurable:** I’M GONNA GO

**allurable:** besides isn’t it for post-prom

**allurable:** shouldn’t u seniors be like...trying to get people to go

**kogayne:** how do u know it’s for post-prom

**allurable:** i wasn’t in hs that long ago

**allurable:** what is this, the eighth year?

**lanceylance:** ninth

**takashmeoutside:** the first year was my senior year

**takashmeoutside:** i was on a team, matt wasn’t

**mattata:** late bloomer with glasses didn’t wanna fUCKIN DIE

**allurable:** i wasn’t on a team junior year but then i decided to do it senior year

**allurable:** we came in third in the whole tournament thanks to yours truly, and there were like 20-something teams

**lanceylance:** yeah i’m pretty sure this year we don’t have twenty

**kogayne:** ^^^^ they seemed pretty desperate for a replacement team

**allurable:** well their desperation is probably just to keep the bracket stable

**allurable:** but either way we’re going

**kogayne:** oh boy

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** YO BY THE WAY

**kogayne:** i’m not gonna be home till late, if at all

**takashmeoutside:** u going to lance’s?

**kogayne:** maybe

**kogayne:** after the tournament we’re going on a date :D

**takashmeoutside:** ...oH

**takashmeoutside:** love, simon?

**kogayne:** YEAH

**kogayne:** we’re gonna go get food which means we’ll probably hit up the diner bc lance is cute like that and then we’re going to the movies

**kogayne:** and idk if i’m gonna go home or just crash at his place again

**takashmeoutside:** he could come over here

**kogayne:** that too

**kogayne:** eventually i’ll let u know

**takashmeoutside:** alright well keep in mind it’s a school night

**kogayne:** i’ve pulled later nights

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh] i know

**kogayne:** alright l8r cuz

**takashmeoutside:** never text speak like that at me ever again

**kogayne:** tyhrthjrtjtyirhsth i know that was awful

 

**_DODGE DUCK DIP DIVE DODGE_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_DODGE DUCK DIP DIVE DODGE_ ** _ to  _ **_THEATRE THUGS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WHO’S READY FOR SOME DODGEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** look at Him

**lanceylance:** hot as fuck when he’s prepping to take down some duds

**dinezor:** is this necessary

**lanceylance:** everyone needs to admire the love of my life bc he deserves it

**dinezor:** mmm

**dinezor:** in that case

**dinezor:** i must be girlfriend of the century

_ (5) photos from  _ **_dinezor_ **

**dinezor:** she even made me a poster i love (1) girl

**hunkerdunker:** yes but consider

_ (4) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** she’s so muscley 

**hunkerdunker:** i love it

**hunkerdunker:** i love her

**shayfromstatefarm:** hfgseftyfg

**carrierpidgeon:** NO THIS WILL NOT BE THE RELATIONSHIP CHAT AGAIN

**carrierpidgeon:** EVERY FREAKING GROUP CHAT WITH YOU PEOPLE BECOMES THE RELATIONSHIP CHAT

**lanceylance:** LET ME LOVE HIM

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**kogayne:** LET HIM LOVE ME

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** JUST GET UR BUTTS TO SCHOOL

**carrierpidgeon:** also hunk or shay can i get a ride

**hunkerdunker:** leaving in 2 be ready

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**mattata:** nice first game!!!!

**allurable:** PIDGE THAT WAS AMAZING

**carrierpidgeon:** it felt nice to watch him fall

**kogayne:** it felt nice watching u make him fall

**kogayne:** that’s my little sister

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**carrierpidgeon:** that’ll show those fuckers to underestimate me

**allurable:** so y’all are in the winner’s bracket for now?

**lanceylance:** yep

**shayfromstatefarm:** which means we won’t be on the floor again for a while

**shayfromstatefarm:** word has it we’re doing the loser bracket first

**mattata:** well congrats on surviving preliminaries!!!

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**takashmeoutside:** HOLY SHIT

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** I’M FINE

**takashmeoutside:** YOUR HEAD

**kogayne:** I’M FINE

**takashmeoutside:** YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF CONCUSSIONS

**kogayne:** IT’S A FOAM BALL COVERED IN LIKE, PLASTIC OR WHATEVER IT IS

**kogayne:** I’M FINE

**lanceylance:** he’s fine 

**lanceylance:** shiro it’s not that deep

**allurable:** at least he got to stay in the game

**allurable:** UNLIKE LANCE

**lanceylance:** EXCUSE ME 

**mattata:** could be worse, lance could’ve gotten hit

**allurable:** he went out on a cATCH

**lanceylance:** yeah and then ez got me back in on a catch everything’s under control

**lanceylance:** still in the winner bracket

**hunkerdunker:** so i checked the bracket

**hunkerdunker:** we may not be on this win streak much longer

**hunkerdunker:** the next team we’re up against is Dodge Dynasty

**allurable:** ARE THOSE THE FUCKIN TANKS SITTING TWO ROWS BEHIND YOU

**hunkerdunker:** yeah :’)

**lanceylance:** a team made of all tanks is a team destined to fail

**lanceylance:** we got this

**kogayne:** aim for center mass

**kogayne:** make them jump and hit them while they’re in the air

**takashmeoutside:** is that the strategy you and lance have been working on

**lanceylance:** you noticed?

**mattata:** i’m pretty sure everyone has

**carrierpidgeon:** those tanks are gonna target u two just wait

**lanceylance:** yes, so then we serve as distraction while the rest of u pummel them

**shayfromstatefarm:** good idea actually

**lanceylance:** thanks i try

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**mattata:** that was

**allurable:** LMFAOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, alright

**kogayne:** they could’ve gotten the entire team out

**hunkerdunker:** yeah, you’re welcome

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmm

**carrierpidgeon:** one loss

**carrierpidgeon:** double-elimination, and we’re getting closer to the championship

**kogayne:** dodge dynasty is undefeated

**kogayne:** if we make it to the championship against them, and they still haven’t lost, we have to play them twice

**shayfromstatefarm:** we can do it

**kogayne:** ^^

**lanceylance:** we’ve just gotta focus which means all of you fuckers put your phones down

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**mattata:** what a crushing defeat

**mattata:** i can’t believe

**mattata:** you guys were THIS CLOSE

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well

**kogayne:** win some lose some

**lanceylance:** we did our best and i still have keith so i’m the real winner here  <3

**carrierpidgeon:** BARF

**hunkerdunker:** welp

**hunkerdunker:** time to go home and take a long shower

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge u want a ride home from me

**shayfromstatefarm:** i was gonna make a run for food

**carrierpidgeon:** yes pls

**hunkerdunker:** have fun, i’m gonna cook after my shower and watch some netflix and then sleep

**kogayne:** have fun i have a boy to go out with :)

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** don’t let lance tell you otherwise i absolutely did not cry during love simon

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** ur cousin is not an emotionless robot he sobbed during love simon don’t let him tell you otherwise

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** what a liar

**takashmeoutside:** trust me i know

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** that TRAITOR

**kogayne:** anyway it’s decided that we’re coming back home for the night so like

**kogayne:** he’ll be here

**kogayne:** okay i’m gonna go spend time with him bye

**takashmeoutside:** have fun

**kogayne:** also btw lance was crying too

**takashmeoutside:** hyrtgefgfndb

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE

**lanceylance:** anyway

**lanceylance:** yeah i did cry

**lanceylance:** also i love your cousin

**takashmeoutside:** yeah i know

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna go

**lanceylance:** we’ll be there soon

**takashmeoutside:** okay have fun i’ll probably be sleeping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dedicate this chapter to my theatre club's dodgeball team formed last year, the theatre thugs, you guys lost but not as badly as you could've and i love you
> 
> (lmfao i didn't play this year, i played last year but i literally subbed in at the last minute, i hadn't meant to)
> 
> ANYWAY
> 
> no friday chapter planned as of right now, tryna get other stuff written this weekend bc i have like, no homework for once
> 
> see y'all later


	112. i forgot to give this chapter a title and i honestly don't have one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> college shenanigans, and some holt stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **trigger warnings for mentions of depression**

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**lanceylance:** GUYS GUESS WHAT

**hunkerdunker:** wha

**hunkerdunker:** IT’S THE 19TH

**shayfromstatefarm:** IT’S THE 19TH

**carrierpidgeon:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** SO DID YOU GET IN OR WHAT

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** the faces of two boys who are going to their #1 choice college together

**shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CONGRATS GUYS!!!!

**allurable:** :O WHAT’S THIS

**allurable:** ALL OF MY CHILDREN ARE GOING TO COLLEGE

**allurable:** AWWW MY BABIES I’M SO PROUD OF ALL OF YOU

**mattata:** I’M FINALLY FREE OF KEITH KOGANE

**kogayne:** fight me holt

**mattata:** i’m just kidding

**mattata:** congrats u nerds 

**mattata:** ur all going to college together, i’m praying for those poor teachers

**kogayne:** no ur not

**mattata:** lmfao no i’m not

**mattata:** i expect frequent updates of whatever chaos you manage to create

**takashmeoutside:** stop being a bad influence jfc it’s not even 8 AM

**hunkerdunker:** I’M GOING TO COLLEGE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND MY BEST FRIEND AND HIS BOYFRIEND WHOA DUDES

**lanceylance:** i’m still shook i really didn’t think i’d get in

**lanceylance:** ask keith i’m shaking right now

**kogayne:** this boy is in chihuahua mode and he actually had breakfast

**lanceylance:** celebratory dunks ;)

**takashmeoutside:** but did he sleep

**lanceylance:** :))))

**kogayne:** I THOUGHT YOU SLEPT

**lanceylance:** pre-decision anxiety kept me up all night catch me crashing before health

**lanceylance:** OH MY GOD OUR PROJECTS ARE DUE TODAY

**kogayne:** FUCK

**hunkerdunker:** OH SHIT

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHOOPS

**takashmeoutside:** did...did you all forget you had a project due

**lanceylance:** mayhaps

**mattata:** lmfao

**lanceylance:** quick which period do i have computer access

**kogayne:** psych??

**lanceylance:** :O good i finished those notes already

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK AND I HAVE PSYCH /AFTER/ HEALTH

**kogayne:** SUCKS 

**kogayne:** GET ON OUR LEVEL

**shayfromstatefarm:** FIGHT ME

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** gnffrgesgnfd i told myself i wouldn’t leave this till the last minute and wHAT DID I DO

**hunkerdunker:** blame lance

**allurable:** oh?

**hunkerdunker:** mr “let’s play club penguin instead of doing our project” 

**lanceylance:** OKAY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT

**lanceylance:** WE WERE GONNA BE IN THE LIBRARY ON THOSE SNOW DAYS AND YOU KNOW IT

**hunkerdunker:** THAT IS NO EXCUSE

**lanceylance:** YOU JUST SAID YOU DIDN’T FINISH EITHER SO STOP YELLING AT ME

**hunkerdunker:** NO

**lanceylance:** MULLETMAN BACK ME UP

**kogayne:** hunk stop yelling at him

**hunkerdunker:** HE LITERALLY

**kogayne:** YOU DIDN’T FINISH EITHER HUNK WE’RE ALL IN THIS BOAT TOGETHER AND INSTEAD OF BLOWING NEW HOLES LET’S PATCH THE ONES WE ALREADY HAVE

**carrierpidgeon:** ...that was...poetic

**takashmeoutside:** secret emo poet keith strikes again

**kogayne:** fight me

**allurable:** so far in the last ten minutes keith has threatened to fight shiro and pidge, and shay threatened to fight keith

**allurable:** this bracket is a fucking mess

**takashmeoutside:** so what we do is we put everyone into a bracket to fight over who gets to fight keith

**lanceylance:** in a stunning plot twist, i win

**lanceylance:** i am keith’s challenger

**lanceylance:** we prepare to fight

**lanceylance:** the fight begins

**lanceylance:** we hug very fiercely and go out on a date

**lanceylance:** the end

**kogayne:** you know what i like this version of things but it means u need to beat out everyone else and sorry i love you but that’s unrealistic

**lanceylance:** mmmm maybe

**lanceylance:** unless i hit hard and fast

**lanceylance:** i’m very flexible

**lanceylance:** ;))))

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S NOT EVEN 8 AM LANCE

**lanceylance:** LET ME LIVE PIDGE

**lanceylance:** LET ME RIDE THIS HIGH OF GETTING INTO COLLEGE

**lanceylance:** …

**lanceylance:** ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** i am THIS CLOSE to removing you from the group chat

**allurable:** no we agreed a long time ago we’re NOT REMOVING OTHER PEOPLE FROM THE GROUP CHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** HE’S MAKING SEX JOKES BEFORE 8 AM

**hunkerdunker:** how are you not used to this

**carrierpidgeon:** BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE’D GET OVER THIS PHASE BY LIKE, SOPHOMORE YEAR

**lanceylance:** [whiny teenager voice] IT’S NOT A PHASE MOM IT’S WHO I AAAAAAM

**mattata:** keith’s emo phase.jpeg

**kogayne:** stop exposing me

**mattata:** you exposed yourself a long time ago

**carrierpidgeon:** DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** >;DDDD

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT MY PROJECT NOW I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD THE GOOGLE SLIDES APP

**hunkerdunker:** GROSS ME TOO

**carrierpidgeon:** u guys don’t have the slides app?

**hunkerdunker:** no

**shayfromstatefarm:** editing google slides on my phone is the worst i’ve done it like, one other time when i was about as desperate as i am now

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^^^

**lanceylance:** LMFAO HAVE FUN ANTOK JUST BROUGHT IN THE CHROMEBOOK CART

**hunkerdunker:** SHUT UP LANCE

**lanceylance:** MAKE ME

**hunkerdunker:** THAT’S KEITH’S JOB

**lanceylance:** KEITH MAKE ME SHUT UP

**kogayne:** well if you insist

**carrierpidgeon:** i hate

**carrierpidgeon:** every single one of you

**lanceylance:** i hate me too :)

**kogayne:** LANCE NO

**kogayne:** NOOOO

**lanceylance:** i’m jk

**lanceylance:** FOR NOW

**lanceylance:** MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [vanishes with a flourish of my cape in a puff of smoke]

**mattata:** ...dramatiiiiic

**kogayne:** well he /is/ in the drama club

**lanceylance:** [kicks down door, wearing an entirely different outfit] I HEARD DRAMA CLUB

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow what a quick-change, i’m impressed

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** lanceylance is my name and quick-change is my game

**hunkerdunker:** quick-change is hell

**lanceylance:** well i have a reliable quick-change partner :)

**kogayne:** there’s a reason i’m backstage and not with lights and sound

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah and it’s “i secretly cuddle lance between scenes when i should be working”

**hunkerdunker:** ^^

**kogayne:** no it’s called “i still have vivid memories of lance getting trapped in his oz costume and now it’s my job to make sure that never happens again”

**carrierpidgeon:** NHGMTRSEZSGHTRHEG

**lanceylance:** :O BETRAYAL

**kogayne:** how is this betrayal, they already know

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T BELIEVE UR THROWING THIS BACK IN MY FACE

**lanceylance:** [throws arm over forehead] I HAVE BEEN PUBLICLY SHAMED, I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE AGAIN

**takashmeoutside:** yeah i can really see the lack of sleep now

**lanceylance:** ;DDDD

**kogayne:** smh we’re napping after school before we head to work

**allurable:** must be nice

**allurable:** i’m going nonstop

**allurable:** work then more work then night class then homework then :)))))

**lanceylance:** ...mAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN THE MAN IS NOOOOOOOONSTOP

**allurable:** A-AFTER THE WAR I WENT BACK TO NEW YORK

**lanceylance:** A-AFTER THE WAR I WENT BACK TO NEW YORK

**allurable:** I FINISHED UP MY STUDIES AND I PRACTICED LAW

**lanceylance:** I PRACTICED LAW BURR WORKED NEXT DOOR

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 ** _takashmeoutside_** _added_ ** _allurable_** _,_ ** _mattata_** _,_ _and_ ** _carrierpidgeon_** _to_ ** _college party committee_**

**takashmeoutside:** so i spent the morning talking to the mcclains, garretts, and belus

**takashmeoutside:** and we agreed we should have a party celebrating the fact that our four children got into college

**mattata:** wait keith is ur child?

**takashmeoutside:** yes when we did the family tree we agreed that you adopted pidge and i adopted keith bc they didn’t fit into the bi or pan squads keep up

**takashmeoutside:** anyway

**mattata:** :P

**takashmeoutside:** i hope you can all clear your schedules for saturday

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t do anything with my life anyway

**allurable:** ??????

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**mattata:** mmm

**mattata:** this means i gotta fight to pawn my shift off on someone

**takashmeoutside:** actually i called us both out

**mattata:** HEY HAVE I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU LATELY

**takashmeoutside:** always nice to hear it

**allurable:** saturday has been cleared i’m good to go

**takashmeoutside:** good

**takashmeoutside:** i called a party planning meeting for tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** at about, 11 AM???

**allurable:** i can make that work

**mattata:** ^

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah i’ll be in school wHY AM I EVEN IN THIS GROUP CHAT

**takashmeoutside:** so ur not out of the loop

**takashmeoutside:** but don’t tell klance or hunay this is a surprise

**carrierpidgeon:** u got it

**carrierpidgeon:** can i go back to class now

**takashmeoutside:** yes go be good learn stuff work well idk just don’t fuckin fail

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks for the words of wisdom mr 3 degree man

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** CALCULATE MY FINAL VELOCITY IF I JUMP OFF OF THE SCHOOL ROOF FROM REST

**allurable:** WHAT’S UP

**kogayne:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**carrierpidgeon:** oof keith is laughing what’s going on

**shayfromstatefarm:** SO HUNK AND I HAVE BEEN SCRAMBLING ALL DAY WITHOUT COMPUTER ACCESS TO GET THIS PROJECT DONE FOR HEALTH

**shayfromstatefarm:** WE GO DOWN TO LUXIA’S ROOM EXPECTING WE’RE GONNA START PRESENTATIONS TODAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** AND DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE SENDS US?

**shayfromstatefarm:** THE FUCKING LIBRARY

**shayfromstatefarm:** TO FINISH OUR PROJECTS

**lanceylance:** THIS IS AMAZING I HAVE A FREE PERIOD NOW

**hunkerdunker:** i’m napping this period no one touch me

**kogayne:** best of all, we don’t have calc homework to do because we have a quiz on,

**kogayne:** wait for it,

**kogayne:** LIMITS

**takashmeoutside:** didn’t you do limits at the beginning of the year

**kogayne:** YEAH but we began reviewing for the AP exam

**lanceylance:** yeah so far we’re doing the easy things i actually understood

**kogayne:** yes and when we get to the hard things you didn’t understand, you’ll have more understanding than you did before and we’re going to study them

**kogayne:** so help me lance mcclain you will get at least a 3 on this fucking exam

**lanceylance:** at this point i feel like i’ll do better on physics

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah but don’t you kind of...need physics for your major?

**mattata:** y’all what /are/ your majors

**lanceylance:** double major in aerospace engineering and marine biology

**mattata:** you’re going to die

**lanceylance:** SHIRO DID IT SO CAN I

**mattata:** let me emphasize: YOU’RE GOING TO DIE

**lanceylance:** OH WELL

**takashmeoutside:** aren’t those across two different schools

**lanceylance:** they used to be

**lanceylance:** arus lumped all the sciences into one place like...two years ago?

**takashmeoutside:** damn

**allurable:** that had to happen like, right after i graduated then

**mattata:** WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE’S MAJORS COME ON

**kogayne:** double major in aerospace engineering and forensic science

**mattata:** KEITH WHY

**mattata:** DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT I SAID TO LANCE

**kogayne:** have you considered: i don’t care

**hunkerdunker:** i feel i should confess i’m doing a dual-degree in aerospace engineering and culinary

**mattata:** ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE SUFFERING

**mattata:** SHAY PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAD SOME SENSE IN PICKING A MAJOR

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...i’m double-majoring in psych and journalism

**kogayne:** journalism?

**lanceylance:** journalism?

**hunkerdunker:** i knew

**carrierpidgeon:** RAD

**allurable:** NICENICENICENICE

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s my goal to get donald trump to block me on twitter

**shayfromstatefarm:** i might take other communications courses here and there but :)

**mattata:** you kids think double majors and dual-degree programs are all fun and games until you’re on the floor of your dorm room at 3 AM sobbing into a cup of ramen noodles because your brain forgot basic geometry

**kogayne:** that’s really specific are you okay

**mattata:** i’ve been through it

**mattata:** and by it i mean i’ve suffered

**allurable:** [pats shoulder] there there

**takashmeoutside:** if you’re gonna double-major and do dual-degrees can you guys maybe like

**takashmeoutside:** SLEEP ON TIME

**kogayne:** lance do you have a link to that vine with the guy and the cup and the drink dispenser

**lanceylance:** the fuck you one

**kogayne:** yeah

_ (1) video from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** i have it saved to my phone

**kogayne:** shiro that’s for you

**takashmeoutside:** >:O

**carrierpidgeon:** HEY GUESS WHAT IT’S SUPPOSED TO SNOW ON WEDNESDAY

**lanceylance:** REALLY

**carrierpidgeon:** WELL IT’S HIT OR MISS BUT OUR TOTALS KEEP GOING UP

**lanceylance:** BLESS

**allurable:** you’d think as a senior you’d want as few snow days as possible to graduate

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes but have you considered that we don’t do anything after ap exams?

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve been neglecting my reading but if i’m in school with nothing to do i can read all i want, no distractions

**lanceylance:** multiple naps

**kogayne:** i hold lance while he takes his multiple naps

**mattata:** do you guys go one day without being clingy

**lanceylance:** why would we do that

**mattata:** can u even survive one day without each other

**kogayne:** um yes i think our post-homecoming prank proved that

**kogayne:** we just LIKE being clingy

**lanceylance:** :)

**takashmeoutside:** let them live matthew

**mattata:** SHIRO? ADVOCATING FOR THEM?

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_takashmeoutside > mattata_ **

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes it’s a sensitive topic for them

**takashmeoutside:** especially keith

**mattata:** sHIT

**mattata:** S H I T

**mattata:** sometimes it

**mattata:** slips my mind

**takashmeoutside:** yeah me too until i’m violently reminded

**mattata:** define violently reminded

**takashmeoutside:** well with the college discussion this morning finances came up and inevitably he’s going to start thinking about being roommates with lance and stuff like that

**mattata:** this kID

**takashmeoutside:** i know

**mattata:** :( it sucks that like

**mattata:** a lot of his anxieties manifest that way

**mattata:** :((

**takashmeoutside:** yeah

**takashmeoutside:** i feel like a lot of his issues would be solved if our family hadn’t taken a nosedive

**mattata:** :(((((

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes i still wonder where we’d be if like, his mom hadn’t left, or his dad hadn’t died, or,,, if my parents hadn’t died,,,

**mattata:** kashi pls don’t do this to urself

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t help it

**takashmeoutside:** a large part of me wishes things in the past had gone down differently, if only so keith had parents there for him when he needed them most

**takashmeoutside:** and so he could just have like, a typical childhood and didn’t feel so ostracized as a kid

**mattata:** if things went differently, i don’t think any of us would be where we are now

**takashmeoutside:** i know

**takashmeoutside:** and that’s why the other part of me wouldn’t change the past for anything

**takashmeoutside:** the past was shitty but where we are now...isn’t so shitty?

**takashmeoutside:** obviously we could all do without our mental issues

**mattata:** yeah

**takashmeoutside:** alright anyway i need to stop thinking on this 

**mattata:** yeah don’t fucking spiral i stg

**takashmeoutside:** carpool for work?

**mattata:** let’s do it

 

**_carrierpidgeon > mattata_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** are you busy

**mattata:** not particularly why

**carrierpidgeon:** mm

**mattata:** what’s eating at you, sis

**mattata:** i thought you seemed off today

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaa mmmmmmmmm

**carrierpidgeon:** this is gonna sound shitty

**carrierpidgeon:** but while i’m glad all of them got into college

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m...salty’s not the word and neither is irritated i’m just

**carrierpidgeon:** sad, i guess

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re all leaving next year

**carrierpidgeon:** what the fuck am i supposed to do

**mattata:** i thought you were making friends! 

**mattata:** what happened

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m still hopeless for sherrie, but i’ve been,,, kinda keeping my distance lately

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhh

**mattata:** pidge :((((

**mattata:** why have you been keeping your distance

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t know

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m scared someone’s gonna find out about my crush, i’m just

**carrierpidgeon:** not motivated enough to keep up with anyone??

**mattata:** :(((((((((((

 

**_< 3_ **

**mattata:** i’ve got a problem

**allurable:** what

**mattata:** ...i think pidge has depression

**mattata:** or is developing it

**allurable:** u sure she’s not pmsing? i’m pretty sure glitter’s about to rain in miami

**mattata:** i don’t know

**mattata:** maybe it’s just the circumstances and maybe she’s just having a bad day and maybe i’m overreacting but

**mattata:** 4 of the 8 of us in our core group have it already, including me

**mattata:** it can be linked to genetics

**takashmeoutside:** it’s not out of the realm of possibility, but i wouldn’t jump to conclusions right away

**takashmeoutside:** monitor her over the next few weeks?

**allurable:** few months, i’d say

**allurable:** i’d say maaaaaybe float the idea to your parents and have them keep tabs on her?

**mattata:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on with her?

**mattata:** a lot in her social circle

**mattata:** she’s upset about being left behind by the others

**mattata:** and she’s withdrawing from her other circles

**mattata:** she 

**mattata:** here

_ (3) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** i’m scared for her

**allurable:** oof

**allurable:** keep an eye on her

**allurable:** it’s all you can do right now, besides being there for her

**mattata:** alright

**mattata:** thanks guys  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one is safe
> 
> yeah today's mood was all over the place??? i've been Off the last half a week, but i think i might just be pmsing? i dunno! guess we'll find out!! my emotions have been everywhere so Oh Well
> 
> anyhoo there's aNOTHER nor'easter coming that could be hit or miss and i'm praying it hits. during physics i checked our totals and it was like, 3-5 inches, and i checked again tonight and it was 8-12, and the european models (which i thiiiiink have been the more accurate ones this winter) have us getting about a foot, so, PRAYER CIRCLE FOR NO SCHOOL WEDNESDAY
> 
> anyway in the meantime till the next update (whenever that is) check out what i've been working on between updates?  
>  **[your heart (all i own)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14000466):** set somewhere between abouts chapters 100-111. nyma says some shit to keith. keith's too deep into his feelings. lance is there for him.  
>  **[decisions, decisions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14021439):** set at the beginning of this chapter. lance and keith's admissions decisions are out.  
>  **[too in love to let it go](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14029113):** set between chapters 78 and 79. keith's on his break at balmera beans and has worrying thoughts about his future with lance. 
> 
> see ya whenever the next update is, also i'm tryna update sgd before next monday
> 
> byeee


	113. the cunning sorceress pidge vs the brave knight kogane (or: the Teens realize something is up with pidge)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a continuation of the wild mess that is the chronicles of prince lanceylance and knight kogane, ft. sorceress pidge and others (or: pidge is acting strange, and the Teens notice)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you think i'm joking but i have an urge to write a Prince Lanceylance and Knight Kogane fanfic
> 
> i'm already plotting a wiz101 au for when deceit so natural wraps
> 
> SOMEONE STOP ME

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** tell me how we just started this book and we already have a project

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** everyone’s favorite teacher is suddenly at the bottom of my list -_-

**hunkerdunker:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** okay but why is hunk screaming

**lanceylance:** did i mention the book is shakespeare

**allurable:** WILLY SHAKES

**lanceylance:** YEAH WILLY SHAKES

**takashmeoutside:** which one?

**shayfromstatefarm:** hamlet

**mattata:** you mean the lion king in human form

**lanceylance:** yes absolutely

**kogayne:** okay but what’s this project?

**lanceylance:** in groups of 5, read act one and choose from 6 prompts and make a presentation on it

**kogayne:** i have like no friends in that class what do you mean in groups of 5

**kogayne:** no thanks???

**lanceylance:** be with whoever was in your mythology group

**kogayne:** i had to join a random group i don’t wanna

**lanceylance:** team up with acxa

**kogayne:** oh yeah good idea

**kogayne:** i’m guessing your group is you hunk shay plax and flor then?

**shayfromstatefarm:** yep

**shayfromstatefarm:** guess which prompt lance signed us up for

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** what

**shayfromstatefarm:** there was one where you have to analyze a relationship between two characters and figure out how you would stage a scene with them

**kogayne:** pffffffffft of course lance chose that

**lanceylance:** half the group didn’t even read the prompt because it was too long but by the time thace got to us it was that or norwegian-danish politics

**lanceylance:** as far as i’m concerned i saved everyone

**hunkerdunker:** “saved”

**lanceylance:** would you really rather have had norwegian-danish politics

**hunkerdunker:** ...no

**lanceylance:** then shut your fuck

**shayfromstatefarm:** we were aiming to get a topic about a soliloquy but noooooooo thace came to us second to last

**lanceylance:** it could be worse we could be whatever group got left with the politics

**kogayne:** this project sounds gross

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna

**takashmeoutside:** tragic

**kogayne:** yeah it really is

**allurable:** so how’s everyone’s day otherwise

**kogayne:** good i guess? 

**hunkerdunker:** i want to go back to culinary and spend the rest of the day there

**hunkerdunker:** i really just don’t wanna do the rest of the day

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith how was the quiz in calc considering you’re on your phone

**kogayne:** i thought it was easy but that’s just me

**kogayne:** it was short and it was on limits

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** if i fail kick my ass for me

**kogayne:** with pleasure

**lanceylance:** :O rude

**kogayne:** ;)

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay easy quiz

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m guessing we have homework on that new shortcut thing we learned yesterday for the whatever

**kogayne:** :) yep :)

**lanceylance:** who’s willing to slide answers

**kogayne:** lance no

**lanceylance:** lance yes

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance No

**lanceylance:** Lance Yes

**hunkerdunker:** Lance No

**lanceylance:** LANCE YES

**carrierpidgeon:** let him fail

**lanceylance:** rude

**carrierpidgeon:** idgaf

**lanceylance:** ysgaf

**mattata:** what

**lanceylance:** you should give a fuck

**mattata:** wh

**carrierpidgeon:** well i don’t

**lanceylance:** fight me

**allurable:** every day with you kids 

**lanceylance:** gotta keep the blood pumping

**lanceylance:** fighting is good

**allurable:** no???

**takashmeoutside:** keith look what you’ve done

**takashmeoutside:** he was a fine upstanding citizen and you’ve corrupted him

**kogayne:** are u sure about that assessment

**kogayne:** i have distinct memories of lance deliberately trying to piss me off most of freshman year

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ but ur mine /now/

**kogayne:** that i’ll concede 

**lanceylance:** boi the fuck do you mean CONCEDE you should be yelling it to the world

**kogayne:** [yells in ur face]

**mattata:** UR NOT AS SMOOTH AS U THINK KOGANE

**kogayne:** excuse me but that was smooth as hell

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s a joke u stole from the internet u heathen

**kogayne:** no it’s not

**carrierpidgeon:** you corrupted a bro meme, meant for broulmates

**carrierpidgeon:** for your crimes, thou shall perish

**lanceylance:** is this another installment in the fantasy klance world bc i’m ready

**lanceylance:** AND SO the brave knight Kogane, on his quest to defend his lover, the ever-beautiful Prince Lanceylance, falls into a trap by the wicked and cunning sorceress Pidge. Kogane has found himself in quite the pickle—ensnared, weaponless, surrounded, no course of action. It appears that the sorceress has finally one-upped him for the last time.

**carrierpidgeon:** instead of stalling like incompetent villains often do, giving prince lanceylance his window of opportunity to inevitably incapacitate me and rescue his lover, i straight up kill kogane, the end

**hunkerdunker:** damn

**shayfromstatefarm:** rip

**allurable:** :O

**kogayne:** Prince Lanceylance bursts onto the scene. Momentarily, he believes he’s too late. The sorceress has no need, she thinks, to murder the prince when she can hold him over the royal family’s head as leverage. Cruelly, she allows Prince Lanceylance to cradle his lover’s dead body. In a moment of utter anguish, Prince Lanceylance becomes hysterical, and unleashes magical powers he never knew he possessed. The sorceress’s woodland hideout is obliterated, and the sorceress vanishes in a moment of self-preservation, as the prince’s magic is harmful to her. This leaves Prince Lanceylance with Kogane. The prince, desperate, pours his magic into a kiss that resuscitates Kogane and brings him back to life.

**allurable:** YOU DID NOT JUST PULL SOME “TRUE LOVE CONQUERS” BS

**carrierpidgeon:** COP-OUT

**kogayne:** LET ME HAVE A HAPPY ENDING

**carrierpidgeon:** HAPPY ENDINGS ARE OVERRATED

**kogayne:** WHAT IS SO OVERRATED ABOUT THEM

**carrierpidgeon:** THEYRE SO CLICHE 

**kogayne:** HAPPINESS IS NOT CLICHE

**mattata:** edgy endings are cooler? really?

**carrierpidgeon:** MAYBE

**kogayne:**  NO LET ME HAVE MY HAPPY ENDING

**kogayne:** I DON’T GET A LOT OF THOSE

**kogayne:** JESIJXNSBWND PFV DHBSBDJD LEMME HAVE THIS

**lanceylance:** anyone who deprives keith of his happy ending can fuckin fight me

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT SHOULD NOT GET ME AS WORKED UP AS IT JUST DID IT’S JUST A SILLY PLAY FIGHT

**lanceylance:** shhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHH IT’S OKAY

**lanceylance:** you deserve a happy ending

**lanceylance:** you were coming from a genuine place

**lanceylance:** i know what you meant and i have your back

**lanceylance:** always

**kogayne:** hnnn thanks

**lanceylance:** caaaaalm down, just pretend i’m there

**lanceylance:** meet me by the stairs between english and math? just for like a minute?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** ily

**lanceylance:** <333

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** are they fucking joking with this snowstorm tomorrow

**madplax:** IT’S ALWAYS A TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY

**madplax:** THE ONE YEAR WE START DOING SHOW STUFF EARLY

**floronawiththecorona:** i barely even care about that i care about graduation constantly being pushed back

**floronawiththecorona:** i’m trying to escape this hell school and i cAN’T

**dinezor:** mother nature strikes again

**hunkerdunker:** Mother Nature Cares About You. The Administration Wants To Keep You Safe.

**madplax:** big brother? more like massive mother.

**kogayne:** plax what the fuck

**dinezor:** M A S S I V E  M O T H E R

**lotoreal:** why is this group chat the way that it is?

**madplax:** because it is

**madplax:** anyway casual reminder it’s full cast music runs today

**madplax:** casual reminder it’s supposed to be that tomorrow too but lbr are we really gonna be here when they keep changing our snow totals like this

**acxalutelynot:** free me of this hellscape

**kogayne:** ...am i the only one who still wants the snow

**zethridofmyproblems:** WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU

**acxalutelynot:** KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

**dinezor:** WHAT THE FUCK

**hunkerdunker:** KEITH WE’RE ALL DYING

**lotoreal:** SERIOUSLY?

**shayfromstatefarm:** KEITH NO

**floronawiththecorona:** DISOWNED

**madplax:** KILL THE WITCH

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** shh i’m with you on this

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** IF I GO DOWN HE GOES WITH ME

**lanceylance:** KEITH YOU TRAITOR

**madplax:** LANCE WHY

**lotoreal:** THE TWO OF YOU.

**shayfromstatefarm:** UNFRIENDED BLOCKED REPORTED

**lanceylance:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**floronawiththecorona:** TAKE EM OUT

**madplax:** BANG BANG

**lanceylance:** DID YOU JUST TRY TO EXECUTE US

**floronawiththecorona:** YES

**lanceylance:** AND SO PRINCE LANCEYLANCE AND THE BRAVE KNIGHT KOGANE FLEE FROM THEIR ASSAILANTS AND RUN AWAY TOGETHER

**madplax:** MAD QUEEN PLAX USURPS THE THRONE

**lanceylance:** MAD QUEEN PLAX HAS NO ROLE IN THIS GAME

**madplax:** MAD QUEEN PLAX HAS INSERTED HERSELF INTO THE GAME

**kogayne:** THE BRAVE KNIGHT KOGANE AND THE DASHING PRINCE LANCEYLANCE COOK UP A SCHEME TO TAKE BACK THE THRONE, AS MAD QUEEN PLAX’S SUPPORTERS INVADE AND OVERRUN THE PALACE

**dinezor:** ...you guys play dnd by any chance?

**lanceylance:** SEGHMJTGRD WE WERE THINKING ABOUT GETTING A GROUP TOGETHER

**madplax:** I WANT IN

**dinezor:** ^^^

**kogayne:** why is this whole club full of fucking nerds

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re one of them

**kogayne:** quiet nerd

**carrierpidgeon:** THE CUNNING SORCERESS PIDGE HAS ENOUGH OF KNIGHT KOGANE’S FUCKERY AND ZAPS HIM DEAD

**lanceylance:** THIS IS THE SECOND TIME TODAY YOU’VE KILLED MY KNIGHT WHAT THE FUCK

**dinezor:** ...but if he was dead once...how did he come back…

**madplax:** has he been mackin on a zombie

**lanceylance:** ew no i brought him back with the power of true love and magic powers i didn’t know i possessed

**madplax:** cop-out

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT’S WHAT I SAID

**kogayne:** can someone revive me so i can please get my happy ending 

**zethridofmyproblems:** perish

**lanceylance:** THE DASHING PRINCE LANCEYLANCE SHALL SAVE YOU MY LOVE

**carrierpidgeon:** SORCERESS PIDGE ZAPS THE PRINCE WHILE HE’S TOO BUSY SHOWBOATING, NOW THEY’RE BOTH DEAD

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay tell me i’m not the only one who notices something’s up with pidge lately

**kogayne:** i was starting to get that sense

**kogayne:** killing me a second time and then killing lance seems a little harsh for roleplay

**shayfromstatefarm:** i mean she could be pmsing but?

**kogayne:** oh shit glitter’s coming to miami

**lanceylance:** CAN YOU ALL JUST SAY THE WORD PERIOD WE ARE NOT 5

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway glitter’s coming to miami

**hunkerdunker:** rthyresgf

**hunkerdunker:** do we think it’s just pmsing tho??? did something set her off?

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith go investigate

**kogayne:** what why me

**kogayne:** she killed me twice already

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah but of the four of us you’ve known her since her literal birth

**kogayne:** honestly what the fuck i blame shiro and matt for this

**shayfromstatefarm:** you also have the Thing in common and if it’s that you’re probably better-suited to deal with it

**kogayne:** ...do u think it’s That Thing?

**lanceylance:** i feel like if it’s That then she wouldn’t be lashing out so much at keith?

**kogayne:** yeah…

**kogayne:** alright i’m going to investigate but if the brave knight kogane dies a third time we’re sending in the common baker hunk

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT WHY ME

**kogayne:** bc

**hunkerdunker:** fuck u

**kogayne:** sorry i have a boyfriend already but u seem like a nice guy

**lanceylance:** ERTHJRFSDFH

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHO ARE YOU, LANCE?

**kogayne:** we’ve been bad influences on each other :P

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** okay so when i was feeling down you yelled at me to talk about my feelings so what the fuck is up kyle

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m fien

**kogayne:** fien

**carrierpidgeon:** *fine

**kogayne:** no you’re not 

**kogayne:** what’s going on with you

**carrierpidgeon:** did matt say something

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** what’s going on, pidge

**kogayne:** i’ll break out the first name if i have to

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m just not feeling it lately

**kogayne:** yeah i know there’s more to it than that

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhh i’m

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m not ready for you guys to go to college

**kogayne:** pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** what am i supposed to do next year? i don’t have friends

**carrierpidgeon:** i wasted the last two years doing nothing to help myself in the social department and????? 

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re all gonna be so far away next year

**kogayne:** i thought you had sherrie and some other girls from chem???

**carrierpidgeon:** i literally can’t deal with my crush anymore

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s killing me

**carrierpidgeon:** and everyone else seems nice enough but??? i’m in the group but i’m not *in the group* ya feel

**carrierpidgeon:** i have no motivation to keep up with anyone anymore

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**kogayne:** why didn’t you say something sooner?

**carrierpidgeon:** bc u guys deserve to celebrate getting into college??? that’s HUGE and i can’t change the fact that you’re going

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m just having trouble coping, i guess

**kogayne:** mmm

**kogayne:** ...tell you what

**carrierpidgeon:** ?

**kogayne:** when the weather gets warmer, if you’re up to it,

**kogayne:** and only if you’re up to it and can handle it,

**kogayne:** i say we start doing cryptid hunts again

**kogayne:** it’s been a long time

**carrierpidgeon:** ...are /you/ gonna be okay with it?

**kogayne:** honestly i’ve been itching to get back to it

**kogayne:** i miss going for hikes

**kogayne:** and i’m not gonna let some drunk shits ruin things

**kogayne:** i’ve been back to the woods with lance before but i miss my cryptid partner

**carrierpidgeon:** :) sure

**kogayne:** good

**kogayne:** please when you’re feeling down tell me

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re one to talk

**kogayne:** yeah i know i am but please

**carrierpidgeon:** alright,,

 

**_kogayne > mattata_ **

**kogayne:** hey can i ask you something?

**mattata:** that statement alone is worrying on a number of levels

**kogayne:** it’s about pidge

**mattata:** if you wanna know what’s going on with her so do i bc idk if it’s pmsing or depression or??? :))))))) 

**kogayne:** well FUCK

**kogayne:** she told me it was about us leaving??? and her withdrawing from her other friends??

**mattata:** that’s about all i got out of her

**kogayne:** damn

**kogayne:** well thanks anyway

**mattata:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ thanks for keeping an eye on her

**kogayne:** um she’s my sister too

**kogayne:** this is what you get when you force two-year-old keith to be friends with baby pidge

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

_ (6) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** welp

**lanceylance:** nooooooooooo :(

**lanceylance:** that’s it we gotta do something

**lanceylance:** friday’s a half day, right?

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** so we all hang out with her after school and make her feel loved

**hunkerdunker:** friday sleepover?

**lanceylance:** GOOD IDEA

**kogayne:** i can host

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ll provide blankets and pillows and games

**lanceylance:** vine compilations are on me

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll cover food

**kogayne:** nice

**kogayne:** just us high schoolers the adults can do their own thing

**lanceylance:** sounds good to me

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^^^^^^^^

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** baaaaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** where aaaaaaaaaaare youuuuuuuuuuu

**lanceylance:** i’m done with my songs at the moment and i’m cold and tired and want to cuddle

**kogayne:** i drove pidge home i’m omw back in 2 minutes

**lanceylance:** wait if you’re with pidge then don’t come back stay with her

**kogayne:** ??? i’m your ride

**lanceylance:** don’t worry about it i can get one from hunk

**lanceylance:** or shay

**lanceylance:** if for whatever reason i can’t then i can get one from someone else, like plax or something

**lanceylance:** just stay with pidge

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** love u

**lanceylance:** love you too  <333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friend and i have a secret alliance bc we want the snow day but all of our other friends are complaining about not being able to graduate on time oh well
> 
> ALSO I MEANT WHAT I SAID IN THE BEGINNING NOTE, SOMEONE STOP ME
> 
> also tomorrow's probably gonna be a snow day so there probably won't be a wednesday chapter :P so see ya whenever the next update is


	114. it's friday friday gotta throw a party on friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the Teens plan a sleepover while the Adults plan a party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this is the friday chapter, i'll talk more in the end note

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** GOOD MORNING EVERYONE IS EVERYONE READY FOR SLEEPOVER DAY

**hunkerdunker:** y’all i did so much baking yesterday i’m so excited

**hunkerdunker:** i tried like three new recipes and you need to try them too bc they are bomb as fuck

**lanceylance:** you know hunk is excited when he drops the f word like it’s nobody’s business

**hunkerdunker:** excused me i’ve used fuck in the past no problem

**lanceylance:** yeah but this one feels different

**kogayne:** while u were baking yesterday i spent the afternoon blasting fuck a silver lining because THIS SONG

**lanceylance:** say amen saturday night is also a good one

**kogayne:** that high note? hooooooooooooooooooooooooly shit

**carrierpidgeon:** keith that’s gay

**kogayne:** [stands on a table] I’M FUCKING GAY

**lanceylance:** brendon urie is coming for my boyfriend i have to fight him now

**kogayne:** i’m sorry but bredon urie dude,,,,

**shayfromstatefarm:** bredon

**kogayne:** good morning to you too traitor

**shayfromstatefarm:** i wasn’t gonna call it out but i had to

**lanceylance:** good

**kogayne:** :o ur a traitor too

**lanceylance:** ur leaving me for brendon urie i cna’t believe

**shayfromstatefarm:** cna’t

**lanceylance:** WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON

**hunkerdunker:** :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge’s

**hunkerdunker:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** :D

**shayfromstatefarm:** ;D (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**carrierpidgeon:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**carrierpidgeon:** are we doing a mario kart tournament tonight

**lanceylance:** yes

**kogayne:** time to defend my title as the king of rainbow road

**lanceylance:** i want a just dance battle after

**hunkerdunker:** i haven’t done just dance in so long

**carrierpidgeon:** same

**carrierpidgeon:** let’s do it

**kogayne:** i have the 2018 version

**kogayne:** matt and lance made shiro and i memorize the dance to despacito

**lanceylance:** i work those hips and i work them well

**carrierpidgeon:** keith care to confirm this info

**kogayne:** hhhhhhnnnnnnnnn

**lanceylance:** huehuehuehuehue

**lanceylance:** also he lied he has Every version of just dance

**carrierpidgeon:** and why have i never seen them for all the times i’ve been to your house

**kogayne:** i put them away

**kogayne:** i don’t think lance and i have touched them since like,,, december?

**lanceylance:** approximately

**hunkerdunker:** you memorized the just dance dance to despacito over winter break...and never told anyone

**lanceylance:** yes that would be correct

**lanceylance:** keith is an excellent dancer but he won’t let me tell anyone that except i just did KEITH KOGANE CAN DANCE AND /HOT DAMN/

**kogayne:** ghnggwfegn

**kogayne:** shushshushusjshshshssudhhs

**lanceylance:** he’s my favorite dance partner

**lanceylance:** and also my life partner

**lanceylance:** and if we were trapped in an intergalactic war in space he would definitely be my partner on the battlefield

**lanceylance:** my forever partner

**lanceylance:** infinity

**carrierpidgeon:** disgusted™

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway i’m definitely down for just dance but we also need to play space defenders

**hunkerdunker:** pillow fight

**kogayne:** did you just challenge me to a pillow fight

**hunkerdunker:** i challenged the whole gc?

**kogayne:** you challenged me

**carrierpidgeon:** you challenged keith

**lanceylance:** rip

**hunkerdunker:** what does keith do during pillow fights that i should be afraid of

**shayfromstatefarm:** you challenged keith to a physical fight what more do you want

**carrierpidgeon:** keith is ruthless in pillow fights

**carrierpidgeon:** he almost punted me down the stairs one time

**hunkerdunker:** ...down the stairs?

**kogayne:** pillow fights are whole-house combat zones

**kogayne:** no one is safe

**lanceylance:** he has no remorse

**lanceylance:** it’s like that time he and pidge locked me out but worse

**kogayne:** you lose against me or you die take your pick

**hunkerdunker:** a bruised ego or a grave

**hunkerdunker:** lance i didn’t know you were dead how was your funeral

**lanceylance:** did u just insinuate i would’ve died rather than admit defeat to my hot bf

**lanceylance:** bc ur right

**lanceylance:** it was great i had my casket pop open with confetti while the space jam theme started playing it was great

**shayfromstatefarm:** hi what the fuck is wrong with you

**lanceylance:** i came into this world screaming and i will be buried the same way

**kogayne:** when i mentioned death this isn’t where i envisioned the conversation going

**carrierpidgeon:** in short: yes we’re doing a pillow fight thanks for the idea hunk

**hunkerdunker:** I Have Regrets

**kogayne:** >)

**lanceylance:** where are its eyes

**kogayne:** ...so i may have fucked up a little bit

**carrierpidgeon:** “compliment me” “you have eyes”

**shayfromstatefarm:** if keith’s emoticon doesn’t have eyes can it cry

**shayfromstatefarm:** does it have tear ducts so it can cry over not being compliment-able bc it doesn’t have eyes

**lanceylance:** i started googling “can you cry if you don’t have eyes” and it started autofilling fuck you guys for making me google this

**hunkerdunker:** any of us could’ve just as easily googled it

**hunkerdunker:** you brought this upon yourself

**lanceylance:** anyway it depends on if you have the necessary parts,,, this one answer says if you have these things called lacrimal sacs but idk how trustworthy this is

**lanceylance:** if they’re blocked or something then it goes through the nasal cavity

**lanceylance:** so uhhhh yeah if u don’t have eyes u can still cry

**shayfromstatefarm:** fascinating

**kogayne:** i don’t know when i’m gonna need that info but i’m gonna file that away

**kogayne:** anyway stop making fun of my emoticon he’s fragile

**hunkerdunker:** sorry keith’s emoticon

**kogayne:** )

**lanceylance:** i can’t take that one parenthesis seriously

**kogayne:** ‘(

**shayfromstatefarm:** DID YOU JUST MAKE IT CRY

**kogayne:** SO WHAT IF I DID

**kogayne:** LET HIM CRY

**lanceylance:** you are very passionate about your eyeless emoticon

**kogayne:** I LOVE HIM LEAVE HIM ALONE

**carrierpidgeon:** it started out with a typing miss

**carrierpidgeon:** how did it end up like this

**lanceylance:** YOU EMO FUCKS

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT ME

**lanceylance:** WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED WE’RE HAVING A PILLOW FIGHT

**lanceylance:** wow it’s not just gonna be me vs keith or keith vs pidge there’s gonna be like 5 of us

**shayfromstatefarm:** “like” five of us

**shayfromstatefarm:** there are five of us it’s not that hard to count

**lanceylance:** ...anyway

**shayfromstatefarm:** >:O

**lanceylance:** this means i can team up with keith and we can be the Best team

**kogayne:** fuck u every man for themselves

**lanceylance:** >:O

**shayfromstatefarm:** pffffffffffffffft

**shayfromstatefarm:** nice job keith

**lanceylance:** that’s It keith is going down

**kogayne:** it?

**carrierpidgeon:** PENNYWISE?

**hunkerdunker:** oh hell no

**kogayne:** omfg let’s play manhunt

**carrierpidgeon:** MANHUUUUNT

**shayfromstatefarm:** with five people?

**kogayne:** well we have several options

**kogayne:** we can invite more people

**lanceylance:** ???

**kogayne:** i’ll get to that

**kogayne:** we can split up in teams of 2 and 3

**kogayne:** or we can play where one person hides and everyone else splits up to look for them

**carrierpidgeon:** who would we invite if we invite more people

**kogayne:** idk, like plax, flor, maybe lotor’s squad, or those other kids plax is friends with?

**kogayne:** they wouldn’t sleep over i would kick them out at like,,,, i dunno, when’s driving curfew?

**kogayne:** i mean i wouldn’t know bc i’m 18 and lance and i have been consistently breaking the law since junior year

**shayfromstatefarm:** stop setting a bad example for pidge

**kogayne:** she was fucked the day she was born

**carrierpidgeon:** matt and shiro were the Worst influences on both of us it’s too late

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** what’s curfew?

**lanceylance:** like 11

**kogayne:** so i’d kick them out at like, 11

**kogayne:** they could come over later not right after school, they could come at like,,,

**kogayne:** how long would we want them there for?

**shayfromstatefarm:** we haven’t even decided if we’re actually inviting other people over

**shayfromstatefarm:** don’t you have a cousin to run things by

**kogayne:** no i kicked him out of the house he’s spending the night doing something with matt and allura at allura’s

**carrierpidgeon:** takashi shirogane is allowing you to stay by yourself and host a party

**kogayne:** I’M A LEGAL ADULT

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT IT’S /YOU/

**lanceylance:** she’s got a point

**lanceylance:** so are we inviting other people or not

**kogayne:** i’m only doing it if everyone’s comfortable with it and with them being here for like...how many hours?

**kogayne:** if we invite them at like, 6? that’s 6 hours and we can order pizza?

**kogayne:** ????? can anyone respond

**kogayne:** if u don’t feel like voicing things and having your votes influenced by peer pressure u can text individually and we can do a secret vote???

**carrierpidgeon:** we’d have to lay down who we were to invite

**kogayne:** ok

**kogayne:** if we invite lotor and co and all of them show up that’s 10, for even manhunt teams of 5

**kogayne:** if we invite just plax and flor it’s 3 v 4

**kogayne:** if we invite them plus their friends swirn and blumfump??? fulton?????

**lanceylance:** blum is easier

**kogayne:** okay if we invite them plus their friends blumfump and swirn that’s teams 4 v 5

**kogayne:** and if we invite EVERYONE it’s even teams 7 v 7

**kogayne:** sooooooo?

**kogayne:** okay no one wants to answer separate vote time

**hunkerdunker:** thank god

**kogayne:** YOU COULD’VE SAID “LET’S DO SEPARATE VOTES” HGRFWHTFS

 

**_hunkerdunker > kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i’m not picky i’m down with everyone

**hunkerdunker:** u know now that all that drama is past us

**kogayne:** ok

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** E V E R Y O N E 

**carrierpidgeon:** maximum manhunt chaos

**kogayne:** i like the way u think

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > kogayne_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** i don’t mind who we invite tbh 

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’d say go for everyone as long as everyone else is okay with it

**shayfromstatefarm:** and if not, maybe just plax and flor??? idk man

**kogayne:** noted

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** you’re the only person who hasn’t texted me back yet, what’s going on, starboy

**kogayne:** i know ur in spanish right now but i know you’e always on your phone in that class

**lanceylance:** you’e

**kogayne:** you’re avoiding

**lanceylance:** who are /you/ comfortable with inviting

**kogayne:** is this about lotor

**kogayne:** the drama’s been done with for months now, i’m okay with it

**lanceylance:** no i meant plax

**lanceylance:** i haven’t hung out with her outside of school things since we were dating

**kogayne:** ???? lance i /trust/ you you know this

**lanceylance:** i’m just making sure

**lanceylance:** u come first

**kogayne:** well actually this sleepover was for pidge so in this case pidge comes first

**lanceylance:** stfu i’m trying to be romantic

**kogayne:** and i think it’s cute

**kogayne:** but yeah i’m definitely okay with it

**kogayne:** u know unless u start randomly making out with her in the middle of manhunt

**kogayne:** ...is there something you need to talk about?

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** i’m just double-checking things with you

**kogayne:** or are you projecting your own jealousies

**lanceylance:** me? jealous?

**kogayne:** rolo

**kogayne:** lunch, like, almost two weeks ago?

**kogayne:** u were jeeeaaaaloooouuus

**lanceylance:** please i knew he had no chance

**kogayne:** but u were still jealous

**kogayne:** i know u were

**lanceylance:** u liked it

**kogayne:** yes i did

**kogayne:** but now ur projecting ur jealousies onto me

**kogayne:** listen i’ll be as clingy as u want but i’m down with plax coming, i’m not gonna feel threatened in any way if that’s what you’re thinking

**kogayne:** ...not unless u give me reason to be, like i said

**lanceylance:** ur absolutely sure

**kogayne:** is something else going on that i need to know about

**lanceylance:** haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 

**kogayne:** ????????

**lanceylance:** no not really i’m just making myself overly anxious

**lanceylance:** hmmmmmmmm

**kogayne:** here i’ll put it in writing for you

**kogayne:** u never need to ask if i’m okay with hanging out with one of your exes

**kogayne:** plax is cool and i hate nyma the end

**lanceylance:** okay

**lanceylance:** just for the record i hate rolo until further notice

**lanceylance:** has he tried to contact you since lunch that day?

**kogayne:** a couple texts here and there but nothing serious

**kogayne:** he’s like “pls can we talk about this” and i asked him why we couldn’t do it over text and he couldn’t give me a straightforward response 

**kogayne:** so we still haven’t talked things over

**lanceylance:** okay cool because i’m not ready to forgive him for what he did to you at rehearsal

**lanceylance:** i was fucking terrified for you

**lanceylance:** you know what it’s not even that i’m not ready to forgive him it’s that i don’t think i /can/ forgive him

**kogayne:** wow

**lanceylance:** does that make me sound like a bad person?

**kogayne:** uhhh personally i think no

**kogayne:** it makes you sound like someone who loves his boyfriend a lot and who’s always looking out for his well-being

**lanceylance:** well...got that right

**lanceylance:** so yeah invite whoever i guess, everyone, idc whoever the group chat decides

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** cuddle during study?

**lanceylance:** yeah i think i need it

**kogayne:** alright i’ll see u in physics

**kogayne:** i love uuuu

**lanceylance:** i love u too

 

 ** _kogayne_** _added_ ** _lanceylance_** _,_ ** _carrierpidgeon_** _,_ ** _hunkerdunker_** _,_ ** _shayfromstatefarm_** _,_ ** _lotoreal_** _,_ ** _acxalutelynot_** _,_ ** _dinezor_** _,_ ** _zethridofmyproblems_** _,_ ** _sippinganartini_** _,_ ** _madplax_** _,_ ** _floronawiththecorona_** _,_ ** _swirnupanddown_** _,_ _and_ ** _blumpyfumpy_** _to_ ** _hangout_**

**kogayne:** hi everyone i know this is random and super last minute but is everyone free tonight (lance pidge shay and hunk need not reply)

**dinezor:** i live in america i’m free every night

**acxalutelynot:** ...this is america, ez

**dinezor:** fregtngrfsd i know

**dinezor:** anyway i’m free!

**sippinganartini:** ez i hate you every single time you spam

**dinezor:** WHOOPS SORRY

**sippinganartini:** anyway i am also free

**zethridofmyproblems:** i’m free

**madplax:** what’s up your sleeve, kogane

**blumpyfumpy:** ...i’m free?

**swirnupanddown:** ^

**lotoreal:** i appear to have no other obligations tonight

**acxalutelynot:** i’m free

**floronawiththecorona:** what’s up

**kogayne:** wow i didn’t actually think we’d get everyone

**kogayne:** okay so i’m hosting a party?

**madplax:** i’m sorry i just almost did a spit take in the middle of class

**madplax:** keith kogane, hosting a party

**kogayne:** yeah yeah laugh it up

**kogayne:** it’s not like, a huge party, so don’t go inviting other people or bringing alcohol or drugs, those are no-nos

**madplax:** oh damn there goes my whole scheme

**kogayne:** it’s technically not even a party it’s like, a big group hangout

**kogayne:** where we eat pizza and play games like manhunt

**madplax:** MANHUNT

**dinezor:** I LOVE MANHUNT I’M SO GOOD AT IT

**acxalutelynot:** she’s only good at it because her top hiding spots are in fucking trees

**dinezor:** YOU JUST BLEW MY WHOLE PLAN

**kogayne:** so yeah since you’re all free, if you feel like it, come over at like,,, 6ish?

**kogayne:** i’m gonna order a few pizzas

**kogayne:** plain, pepperoni, and uhhh...i dunno???

**swirnupanddown:** sausage

**blumpyfumpy:** mushroom

**kogayne:** any other takers for sausage or mushroom

**kogayne:** ...no?

**kogayne:** i’ll order one half and half then

**kogayne:** i’ll order two plain two pepperoni and one half mushroom half onion

**zethridofmyproblems:** isn’t that expensive

**kogayne:** shiro and i are pizza place regulars we have discounts

**kogayne:** and i mean, i have a job

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m bringing money

**hunkerdunker:** ditto

**lanceylance:** same

**carrierpidgeon:** me too

**kogayne:** nO STOP YOU DON’T HAVE TO

**lanceylance:** TOO LATE

 

**_hangout_ **

**kogayne:** but uhhh, anyway,

**kogayne:** here’s my address

_ (1) map from  _ **_kogayne_ **

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** the group chat is dead, do you think they’re scheming

**allurable:** it’s them

**allurable:** of course they are

**mattata:** imagine if keith planned a WILD HIGH SCHOOL PARTY while you were gone

**takashmeoutside:** it’s keith

**takashmeoutside:** he doesn’t have that many friends

**mattata:** DFTHGJTRGENF WHAT IF HE FINDS THIS CONVERSATION

**takashmeoutside:** how would he find it

**mattata:** what if...a certain boyfriend of yours...sent it to him…

**takashmeoutside:** wow that’s weird if someone did that i wouldn’t call them my boyfriend

**mattata:** :O RUDE 

**allurable:** dwfghghg

**mattata:** U KNOW I WAS JOKING

**takashmeoutside:** ;)

**mattata:** the Worst

**mattata:** are we all set for tomorrow

**mattata:** did mrs. mcclain and allura ever work out where we’re hosting

**allurable:** she caved

**allurable:** we’re hosting at my place but she’s coming over super early to help me out bc “it’s only fair”

**mattata:** when are we telling them

**takashmeoutside:** uh

**takashmeoutside:** tomorrow morning when they wake up

**takashmeoutside:** several hours in advance so they have time to get ready

**takashmeoutside:** but we don’t tell them what it’s for we just tell them that we have an Event for them and they need to look nice

**mattata:** that works

**allurable:** ^^^ nice

**allurable:** alrighty i gotta go, i’ll see you two later  <333

**mattata:** love u

**takashmeoutside:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i was gonna write this yesterday but i was exhausted and fell asleep bc i spent my afternoon out of the house 
> 
> no saturday chapter
> 
> since the last update i've also updated[stars go down (chapter 27)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/32396415) and [does any actual learning go on in this facility (part 7)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13828377/chapters/32447745)
> 
> uhhhhhhh mmmm how do i wanna go about this
> 
> okay so i think i wanna take a sort of hiatus from this fic, but not a total hiatus, for maybe a week or two? as it is i'm already only doing two or three updates a week, sometimes four if my week is super interesting, but like...april nanowrimo starts in about a week, so i wanna take a break from writing so much so i don't burn out completely. i also wanna take some time this week to get reading in before april nanowrimo starts, and i also wanna work on my other fanfics?? all i'm trying to say is that while there won't be a compLETE hiatus, i'm gonna try and cut back even further than i already have since december
> 
> i've got at least two oneshots i'm planning to write set after this chapter and between whatever one goes up next, plus other oneshots and snippets from older chapters, on top of stars go down updates, the abc series, and wOW WHY DO I WRITE SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK 
> 
> i've also got a couple other plot points/chapter ideas in mind for this fic that i either know exactly when they're happening or know they're happening further down the line, so like,,, it's not like i'm quitting (fgthgrfg you're not even QUITTING eileen chill) bc i'm not inspired, i'm just trying to preserve myself before a burnout happens bc april is gonna be another writing frenzy
> 
> anyway that was long and i know u guys are gonna be like "about fuckin time!! we support this!!!" so yeah ANYWAY, to keep you on your toes, here are some plot points coming down the pipeline within about the next...month or so?  
> -pidge's birthday   
> -some promposals  
> -accepted students' day at arus u  
> -a Mystery Plot (aka i won't tell u, but if u've been paying attention to my commentary and the comments section, you might figure this one out pretty quickly ;) )
> 
> k this was way too long see y'all whenever the next chapter is


	115. uhhh there's sports

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a basketball game, ft. klance, hunay, platonic hance, broganes, and more complaining about school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lololololololol so chapters back there was supposed to be a student-teacher basketball game and i can't remember if i ever put it in the fic but it got moved back to tonight bc of the snow we've been getting 
> 
> also head's up for anyone non-religious or who doesn't like religion mentioned in fanfics, i'm catholic (idk if i mentioned it before) and u know, since this is a thinly-veiled projection fic, i've decided lance is also catholic, like the kind of catholic that actually celebrates holidays (cue flashbacks to the christmas chapters) so there _is_ a very brief (like one or two short texts) section where lance explains easter, or like, good friday
> 
> just lettin y'all know :P
> 
> alrighty have fun reading

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning bby

**kogayne:** morning

**kogayne:** you’re in a good mood

**lanceylance:** yeah i woke up thinking about u covered in sweat running down the basketball court

**kogayne:** ...what

**lanceylance:** ur hot as fuck

**lanceylance:** i woke up very upset that you weren’t sleeping next to me

**kogayne:** u know full well if i’d slept over we would’ve been up all night and we’d literally crash in the middle of the game tonight

**lanceylance:** yeah i know

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY i actually have a question for you

**lanceylance:** several actually

**kogayne:** why do i feel like i know where this is going

**lanceylance:** because we’re just that in sync

**lanceylance:** okay one what are you doing friday besides our morning shift at bb

**kogayne:** not much?

**lanceylance:** COOL okay so like

**lanceylance:** i know u and shiro don’t do anything for easter

**kogayne:** excuse me

**kogayne:** yes we do

**lanceylance:** raiding the stores for discount easter candy doesn’t count

**kogayne:** ...u right, no we don’t do anything

**lanceylance:** yeah i know so ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna educate u on easter a little u ready

**kogayne:** do i have a choice

**lanceylance:** no this is important

**kogayne:** go ahead

**lanceylance:** OKAY so easter’s all about Jesus dying on the cross and so He hung on the cross for like, three hours

**lanceylance:** and in the past my mom’s always made us take those three hours to focus on easter so what my siblings started doing is we started dying our eggs during those three hours

**lanceylance:** but as u know most of my siblings are in college or moved out or they’re just too lazy to come by and keep up tradition

**lanceylance:** BUT emely said she’d come over and she’d bring javier and clara and FIRST OF ALL i was wondering if you’d wanna come over for that 

**lanceylance:** u can stay for dinner too if u want but u don’t have to

**lanceylance:** u don’t have to come at all if u feel like it’s not ur thing but the INVITE IS OPEN

**lanceylance:** which leads into my NEXT POINT

**lanceylance:** for easter my family usually goes to a vigil mass the night before so we spend all of sunday chillin out and eating and we set up an egg hunt in the yard for the youngsters

**lanceylance:** and i was WONDERING if you and shiro wanted to come over on sunday??? like i said i know u guys don’t celebrate so u don’t have to especially if you feel like it’ll be awkward but uhhh ANYWAY YEAH 

**kogayne:** one moment please

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i’m gonna marry the shit out of him

**takashmeoutside:** IT’S FIRST THING IN THE FUCKING MORNING

**kogayne:** did u sleep at all

**takashmeoutside:** matt and allura played space defenders

**takashmeoutside:** ALL NIGHT

**takashmeoutside:** I HAVE THE OPENING SHIFT TODAY

**kogayne:** fwerrefbg i wanna high-five them

**takashmeoutside:** worst brother ever

**kogayne:** yeah i know ANYWAY what do u think about lance’s offer

**takashmeoutside:** i mean, i’m off on sunday, i’m not opposed to going

**kogayne:** COOL NEITHER AM I

**kogayne:** also i’m definitely taking up his friday offer too

**kogayne:** and also idk if i told u or if pidge told matt and then matt said something BUT pidge and i are finally getting back to cryptid hunting on saturday

**takashmeoutside:** it’s supposed to rain today through friday, and then saturday’s only gonna be like 50 degrees

**kogayne:** that’s warmer than it’s been, number one

**kogayne:** number two, we’ll be prepared, don’t worry

**takashmeoutside:** and you’ll both be comfortable?

**kogayne:** we’ll wear the proper hiking shoes

**takashmeoutside:** that’s not what i meant

**kogayne:** oh

**kogayne:** oh yeah

**kogayne:** i’ve talked about this with her, and if she changes her mind, then we won’t go

**takashmeoutside:** what about you

**kogayne:** if i lived my life running away from things that could hurt me i don’t think i’d leave the house

**takashmeoutside:** that’s fair

**takashmeoutside:** just be careful though, okay?

**kogayne:** we will i promise

**takashmeoutside:** i’m serious

**takashmeoutside:** if you go and things get bad, call someone

**takashmeoutside:** it doesn’t necessarily have to be me

**kogayne:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** promise me

**kogayne:** i promise

**takashmeoutside:** good

**kogayne:** are u gonna make me promise again on saturday before we leave or are we good here

**takashmeoutside:** oh you know i’m gonna make you promise again

**kogayne:** excellent

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i’m good for both days

**kogayne:** shiro’s coming on sunday too

**lanceylance:** :D

**lanceylance:** can’t wait!!!!

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna tell emely to tell clara and javier they’re gonna be so excited I’M SO EXCITED

**kogayne:** :) glad to see u happy 

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna tell my whole family ur coming

**kogayne:** is this gonna be like christmas where they buy me gifts out of nowhere

**lanceylance:** dfgfhngdrsfdgnh NAH

**kogayne:** should i bring some food anyway

**lanceylance:** no u don’t have to

**kogayne:** i’m gonna 

**kogayne:** now what’s the game plan today

**lanceylance:** i’m on call from 3:30 to 5 but between school and then i have nothing

**lanceylance:** and then shay took us all off so between then and the basketball game i’ve also got nothing

**lanceylance:** what about u

**kogayne:** nothing, as far as i know

**kogayne:** so here’s what we do

**lanceylance:** oho are you taking me out on a date

**kogayne:** what would you consider a date

**lanceylance:** i dunno, any occasion where we’re alone together

**kogayne:** that means a lot of our lives have been dates

**lanceylance:** and i’m fine with that

**kogayne:** okay no but this,,, mmm i guess it’ll be sort of an official ~date~

**kogayne:** i was gonna say we fuck around and maybe get ice cream or coffee or something between school and rehearsal, whichever we feel like at the end of the day

**lanceylance:** just u and me

**kogayne:** just u and me

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** then after rehearsal and before the basketball game we can go back to my place and hang out?

**kogayne:** maybe power nap?

**lanceylance:** are u sure we’ll wake up if we power nap

**lanceylance:** i’m out at 5 and we need to be back at 6:30

**lanceylance:** we’re guaranteed to wake up in the middle of a cycle which means we’ll feel like shit

**kogayne:** shit u right

**kogayne:** okay so we goof around until it’s time to go

**lanceylance:** we could just like,,, cuddle,,,,

**lanceylance:** IF U WANT

**kogayne:** I THINK I DO WANT

**lanceylance:** OKAY COOL

**lanceylance:** u want me drive orrr

**kogayne:** i’ll drive

**lanceylance:** okay cool are we hitting dunks this morning

**kogayne:** sure

**lanceylance:** usual?

**kogayne:** yes pls

**lanceylance:** prepping the order now :)

**kogayne:** be over in 10  <3

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**lanceylance:** so apparently antok is a bruno mars fanboy

**mattata:** WHAT

**kogayne:** we were going over the eight types of intelligence and we got to musical intelligence and he’s just??? fanboying???

**lanceylance:** what even is this class

**takashmeoutside:** classic antok

**hunkerdunker:** why couldn’t culinary be period 7 so i can have period 1 psych smh

**shayfromstatefarm:** i feel that

**shayfromstatefarm:** but with design

**lanceylance:** UPDATE HE’S PUTTING ON THE SUPER BOWL 48 HALFTIME SHOW

**takashmeoutside:** CLASSIC ANTOK

**kogayne:** i think lance has a bigger crush on bruno mars than he has on me this is a disgrace

**lanceylance:** bruno mars is fucking attractive and i repressed the crush for SEVERAL YEARS before i acknowledged it

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE I FINALLY REALIZED I WAS BI

**allurable:** amazing

**allurable:** that was me with my crush on beyoncé

**shayfromstatefarm:** MOOD

**kogayne:** i can’t believe i have to fight bruno mars

**lanceylance:** HE’S HOT I CAN’T HELP IT

**kogayne:** I Am Being Threatened

**carrierpidgeon:** amazing

**kogayne:** are you seeing this shit

_ (1) video from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** LOOK AT HIM

**carrierpidgeon:** you just wanted an excuse to videotape lance

**kogayne:** maybe so

**lanceylance:** I Love Attention

**allurable:** what a good song by charlie puth

**lanceylance:** boi

**lanceylance:** anyway i love attention

**kogayne:** what if i took it away from you 

**lanceylance:** [bangs fists on table] GIVE ME ATTENTION

**shayfromstatefarm:** aren’t you two sitting next to each other

**lanceylance:** Maybe So

**allurable:** so why not talk to each other outside of the group chat

**lanceylance:** what and leave everyone else out of the loop? no

**allurable:** have u considered: we don’t need to see it

**lanceylance:** :O how dare, i need attention

_ (1) audio file from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** there u go

**lanceylance:** fuck u

**mattata:** no thanks

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**lanceylance:** update thace is officially on my shit list

**kogayne:** what happened

**mattata:** WHAT DID THACE DO SPILL THE TEA

**lanceylance:** we’re starting hamlet act 2

**lanceylance:** SO HE GAVE US A SECOND PROJECT

**lanceylance:** DUE TUESDAY

**hunkerdunker:** AND WE’RE NOT EVEN DONE WITH PRESENTATIONS FOR THE PROJECT WE JUST HAD ONE ACT ONE

**lanceylance:** AND HE’S MAKING US WORK WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE

**lanceylance:** I WAS TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM WINDING UP IN A GROUP WITH SOME OF PAUL’S OLD CRONIES

**kogayne:** ex fucking scuse me

**lanceylance:** yeah thace swapped me and some other kid so i wouldn’t have to be with them but i was THIS CLOSE and wHEN I TELL YOU I WAS PANICKING

**shayfromstatefarm:** meanwhile, hunk somehow managed to land in a new group with plax AND flor

**hunkerdunker:** I DIDN’T HAVE CONTROL OVER THAT

**lanceylance:** TRAITOR

**lanceylance:** SHAY AND I HAVE BEEN SEPARATED FROM EVERYONE ELSE AND WE’RE SUFFERING

**kogayne:** fucking hell that means i have to work with people i don’t know

**kogayne:** here’s to hoping i can like, latch onto acxa

**kogayne:** THAT SOUNDS SO WEIRD TO SAY WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**takashmeoutside:** latching onto a girl

**kogayne:** SHUT UP SHIRO

**allurable:** did anyone think to tell thace that maaaaaaybe it’s a bad idea to force kids to work with random kids in MARCH of their senior year

**allurable:** when

**allurable:** yknow

**allurable:** you already know who you work well with and who’s a fucking slacker

**lanceylance:** i already know i’m pulling my group’s weight everyone else is a fucking deadbeat

**kogayne:** what prompt do you have?

**lanceylance:** prompt 1

**shayfromstatefarm:** prompt 6

**hunkerdunker:** prompt 3

**kogayne:** ...lance, you picked /another/ prompt with a skit

**lanceylance:** yes i did

**lanceylance:** if i’m gonna suffer i’m gonna do it on my terms

**hunkerdunker:** plax and flor were offended since our group had more theatre kids

**lanceylance:** SUCKS

**lanceylance:** BE GRATEFUL YOU GOT TO KEEP /THREE MEMBERS/ OF YOUR ORIGINAL GROUP

**kogayne:** smh i need to talk to thace bc i’m gonna end up with a bunch of bricks

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**kogayne:** update i hate everything

**kogayne:** thace said we’re just overreacting about this

**kogayne:** and i wound up in a group with a kid who tried to ask me out that day lance and i pretended to be broken up

**lanceylance:** YIKE

**lanceylance:** what prompt

**kogayne:** i got roped into prompt 1 -_-

**lanceylance:** AW TWINSIES

**allurable:** pls never say that ever again

**lanceylance:** T W I N S I E S

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith did u manage to get acxa in your group again

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** which means i’m carrying this project

**lanceylance:** T W I N N I N G

**hunkerdunker:** isn’t the weekend a religious holiday

**hunkerdunker:** don’t we have friday off

**lanceylance:** !!!!!!!!!!! it’s easter weekend AND passover starts this weekend, thace is on something if he thinks i’m doing this project over the weekend

**allurable:** tell him tomorrow

**kogayne:** one of us has to

**kogayne:** we just wrapped presentations, i’m not taking two class days to meet with a group and then PRESENT

**takashmeoutside:** do u guys think maybe u /are/ overreacting a little

**shayfromstatefarm:** shiro, don’t

**hunkerdunker:** hush

**lanceylance:** shut the fuck up

**kogayne:** SHUT UP

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** SO TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS KID WHO ASKED YOU OUT

**kogayne:** he was the one who slid me his number

**kogayne:** remember

**kogayne:** i wrote “not now” on it

**kogayne:** that ring a bell

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** he was likely heartbroken when we walked in the next wednesday

**kogayne:** yeah he wouldn’t look at me for like, two weeks after that

**kogayne:** but apparently he was very adamant to his best friend, who /did/ make it into our group, that i work with them this time

**lanceylance:** ha ha what :)))

**kogayne:** boi u know u don’t have competition

**lanceylance:** yeah i know but HA HA WHAT :)))

**kogayne:** listen it was this kid or paul’s cronies and i’d take someone with a crush on me than someone who hates me

**lanceylance:** that’s fair

**lanceylance:** be nice don’t lead him on

**kogayne:** wtf what kind of person do you take me for

**kogayne:** i don’t even wanna INTERACT WITH THESE PEOPLE 

**kogayne:** also idk if u noticed my flirting skills are like, 0

**lanceylance:** “my flirting skills are like, 0” yeah that’s a fucking Lie

**lanceylance:** ur a flirt and u don’t even know it i can’t believe— 

**kogayne:** wtf

**lanceylance:** U FLIRT WITH ME CONSTANTLY AND U KNOW IT

**kogayne:** IT’S LITERALLY JUST U UR THE ONLY ONE I CAN DO IT WITH

**kogayne:** IT JUST COMES NATURALLY WHEN IT’S YOU

**lanceylance:** ...aw that’s cute

**kogayne:** fehgndfsd shut up

**kogayne:** there’s the bell i’ll see u in 2

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** lmfao rehearsal’s cancelled!

**lanceylance:** what do u mean rehearsal’s cancelled

**madplax:** i mean no one showed up for staging excEPT FOR SHAY AND LOTOR

**lanceylance:** I’M NOT ON CALL TILL 3:30

**madplax:** yeah well the director is angry now

**madplax:** SO IF YOU HAD TO SHOW UP TODAY AND YOU DIDN’T SHAME ON YOU

**madplax:** we’re picking up on monday

**madplax:** have a nice weekend

**lotoreal:** we still have school tomorrow?

**madplax:** [throws script] HAVE A NICE WEEKEND BITCHES

**lotoreal:** ...well

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**kogayne:** lmfao rehearsal got cancelled bc people didn’t show 

**takashmeoutside:** ???? what

**shayfromstatefarm:** plax lotor me and a few other kids were on call for rehearsal after school

**shayfromstatefarm:** plax lotor and i showed

**shayfromstatefarm:** the director waited twenty minutes

**shayfromstatefarm:** no one else showed, INCLUDING OUR MUSIC GUY

**shayfromstatefarm:** so rehearsal all day got cancelled

**lanceylance:** which is a shame bc i would’ve showed

**shayfromstatefarm:** well

**shayfromstatefarm:** now u can rest before the basketball game tonight

**lanceylance:** keith is gonna look hot as fuck i’m so ready

**takashmeoutside:** there are things i really don’t need to know

**lanceylance:** everyone needs to know

**carrierpidgeon:** [cups hands around mouth] No I Don’t

**lanceylance:** fine everyone except pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**mattata:** the rest of us are already in relationships we really don’t need to know

**lanceylance:** EVERYONE NEEDS TO APPRECIATE KEITH

**allurable:** keith care to comment

**kogayne:** no

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** hey

**lanceylance:** HUNKETH WHAT’S UP

**hunkerdunker:** i’m gonna do something really impulsive and i need you to back me up on it

**lanceylance:** >:D WHAT ARE YOU DOING

**hunkerdunker:** i’m gonna prompose to shay at halftime

**hunkerdunker:** right on the court

**hunkerdunker:** you’re good at smooth-talking

**hunkerdunker:** i need you to get the commentators to give you a mic and let you interrupt the half-court shot contest

**hunkerdunker:** and i also need you to make me do this in case i get cold feet and try and back out

**hunkerdunker:** gonna end senior year with a bang and that includes socially

**lanceylance:** DUDE I AM ALL FOR THIS

**lanceylance:** I’VE GOT YOU

**hunkerdunker:** i’ve been sitting on this poster for a while do u think it’s good or should i redo it before the game tonight orrr

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** THAT’S THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN

**hunkerdunker:** do you think shay’s gonna like it

**lanceylance:** dude she’s gonna fckin LOVE IT

**lanceylance:** i mean she also loves YOU so it’s automatically great in her eyes BUT SHE’S GONNA LOVE IT BC IT’S ALSO AMAZING ANYWAY

**hunkerdunker:** what if i screw up in front of everyone

**hunkerdunker:** oh god what if i try to do it and someone shoves me

**hunkerdunker:** what if i get hit with a basketball

**hunkerdunker:** maybe i shouldn’t

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE GONNA FUCKIN DO IT

**lanceylance:** I WILL DRAG YOUR ASS OUT THERE IF I HAVE TO

**hunkerdunker:** ALRIGHT I’M GONNA DO IT

**lanceylance:** YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**hunkerdunker:** YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**lanceylance:** NOW KEEP UP THIS ENERGY FOR SEVERAL MORE HOURS UNTIL HALFTIME

**hunkerdunker:** FUCK

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** are we going to the basketball game tonight

**allurable:** absolutely

**mattata:** yes

**mattata:** so we can videotape it when someone inevitably screws up

**takashmeoutside:** who’s gonna screw up

**mattata:** uhhh lance obvi

**takashmeoutside:** ????

**mattata:** keith played basketball for years and shay’s too competent

**allurable:** u forget lance was a multi-sport athlete, he’s gonna do really well and surprise everyone and i’m calling it now

**mattata:** mmm should i bet on this

**takashmeoutside:** the holts and their bets smh

**mattata:** oh and whose side would you take kashi

**takashmeoutside:** lance’s

**mattata:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** i know lance very well both because he’s always in the house or because keith won’t shut up about him

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t wait until the day pidge gets a significant other so you can deal with her going on about them forever

**takashmeoutside:** “shiro! lance did the cutest thing today!” “shiro, i can’t do it, he’s too good for me!” “shiro, did you see lance’s newest instagram post? i’m gAY AND DYING”

**allurable:** has he actually said all of those things

**takashmeoutside:** there’s a lot more that’s been said

 

**_allurable > kogayne_ **

**allurable:** “shiro! did you see lance’s newest ig post? i’m gAY AND DYING”

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** DICK

**takashmeoutside:** dwfghnrfwed

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** lol none of u can read this text right now but good luck don’t die

**hunkerdunker:** remember the ball goes in the hoop

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s not a foul if the ref doesn’t catch you

**takashmeoutside:** IT’S STILL A FOUL IF THE REF DOESN’T CATCH YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** if a tree falls down in a forest and no one is around to hear it does it really make a sound

**takashmeoutside:** THAT WOULD BE HOW THAT WORKS, YES

**carrierpidgeon:** does it tho

**takashmeoutside:** YES

**carrierpidgeon:** prove it

**takashmeoutside:** i

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s right you can’t checkmate binch

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**kogayne:** the things i see when i check my phone

**kogayne:** also i’m with pidge i’ve thrown three elbows and counting and the ref hasn’t seen shit

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE YOU ELBOWING YOUR TEACHERS

**kogayne:** thace had it coming for that project

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry i’m still traumatized over kolivan’s leggings

**lanceylance:** AT LEAST YOU WEREN’T THE ONE PLAYING MAN-TO-MAN AND DEFENDING HIM

**carrierpidgeon:** frthngerfeds he’s like three times ur size

**lanceylance:** I KNOW

**lanceylance:** I COULD’VE DIED

**shayfromstatefarm:** no u wouldn’t have ur fINE STOP COMPLAINING

**shayfromstatefarm:** GET UR HEAD IN THE GAME

**carrierpidgeon:** gotta

**hunkerdunker:** GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME

**allurable:** GOTTA GETCHA GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT TEAM

**kogayne:** WILDCATS

**lanceylance:** we’re the terriers but okay

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i’m ready

**lanceylance:** i’m going to harass the commentators right now, get ur butt to the court

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**allurable:** OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD THIS IS SO CUTE

**mattata:** who knew hunk had it in him

**allurable:** THIS IS ADORABLE

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**takashmeoutside:** and shay won the half-court contest O.O

**allurable:** icons

**mattata:** LEGENDARY

**carrierpidgeon:** all legs no dairy

**shayfromstatefarm:** I’M LEGENDARY ALL LEGS NO DAIRY

**carrierpidgeon:** LEGS LEGS

**lanceylance:** WHAT’S ON THE MENU

**kogayne:** why am i friends with all of you again

 

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**allurable:** YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**mattata:** overtime too holy sHIT

**kogayne:** MY TEACHERS CAN KISS MY ASS

**lanceylance:** DID U SEE THAT, THAT WAS MY FUCKIN BOYFRIEND!!!!!

**takashmeoutside:** that kid’s probably very glad he hurt his knee right now

**takashmeoutside:** bc if he stayed in u guys would’ve lost

**kogayne:** WELL WE WON SO ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** celebratory diner run?

**lanceylance:** i’m paying for everyone!!

**hunkerdunker:** i’m in!

**shayfromstatefarm:** I’M COMIN TOO

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M IN

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** we’re going to the diner feel free to stalk us with mallura

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** wow i didn’t think you’d take me up on that offer but

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** why does allura have so many floppy hats and pairs of sunglasses

**takashmeoutside:** she’s a queen

**kogayne:** but in her car?

**takashmeoutside:** A QUEEN, KEITH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah we won in overtime :P
> 
> no, my school mascot isn't the terriers, so for everyone trying to track me down, u can quit now
> 
> also yes my psych teacher is apparently a bruno mars fanboy??? idk man this class was wild we get derailed so easily when we have discussions and today was no exception
> 
> and finally: we're pretty sure our lit teacher hates us (she likes her period 6 class so much more than my period 1 class it is RIDICULOUS how much favoritism she shows to them compared to us) and aNYWAY 
> 
> see y'all whenever the next chapter is


	116. PIDGE DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge's birthday, ft more klance shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll talk in the end note but for now here's pidgeotto's birthday chapter

**_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ **

**_kogayne_ ** _ renamed  _ **_THE SQUAD MY GUYS_ ** _ to  _ **_PIDGE DAY_ **

**kogayne:** happy birthday nessie-denier, hope your day is as awesome as you are, live your life to the fullest. you’re also now sixteen so maybe be on guard just in case you randomly become the chosen one :P

**carrierpidgeon:** dghtyyrgefwgnfds THANKS BRO

**mattata:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREMLIN

**carrierpidgeon:** THANKS TITAN

**takashmeoutside:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIDGE

**allurable:** [kicks down door] HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIDGE!!!!!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** twegryjrdfhdrtgh thanks guys i hope the door hit shiro on his way in

**takashmeoutside:** rUDE

**shayfromstatefarm:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIDGE I HOPE THE DAY IS AWESOME 

**hunkerdunker:** happy birthday pidge i can’t wait until you become the chosen one and save us all!!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** THANKS SHAY THANKS HUNK

**lanceylance:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIDGEOTTO

**carrierpidgeon:** THANKS LANCE 

**mattata:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA my baby demon is growing up

**mattata:** *sister

**mattata:** wow thanks autocorrect

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah somehow i don’t think that was autocorrect

**mattata:** well i guess we’ll never know

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmmmmmmmmmm

**lanceylance:** she’s /fighting/ demons she’s gonna be the chosen one get ur shit together matt

**shayfromstatefarm:** plot twist where matt /is/ the demon

**kogayne:** overdone

**shayfromstatefarm:** overdone?? tf

**kogayne:** the “my family member is actually a demon and i have to kill them or else they’ll end the world” plot is overdone

**lanceylance:** i wouldn’t say /overdone/

**lanceylance:** just incredibly predictable

**kogayne:** if u can predict it it’s overdone

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m with keith on this

**carrierpidgeon:** if i were to become the chosen one then keith’s the begrudging older brother figure that comes on my adventures with me

**carrierpidgeon:** and then accidentally adopts all of my friends

**hunkerdunker:** keith is steve harrington confirmed

**lanceylance:** he’s even got the 80s haircut

**kogayne:** i’ll take it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** and we established matt is my actual older brother and we think he’s a demon but no one’s really sure and at this point we’re too afraid to ask

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro is the person we trust for knowledge on matt but lately we think he’s being charmed or threatened into silence

**carrierpidgeon:** allura’s secretly got magical powers hence her sparkly white hair and we send her in to see what’s up with matt and shiro and the three of them disappear

**carrierpidgeon:** me and keith and my tiny teenage friends can’t do things alone so we enlist the help of hunk bc he’s ultra-smart and he’s best friends with lance and lance is just here for a good time 

**carrierpidgeon:** and shay is hunk’s girlfriend and shay proves to be the most badass of all of us 

**shayfromstatefarm:** i expected nothing else

**carrierpidgeon:** together we save the world

**kogayne:** from matt?

**carrierpidgeon:** no it turns out matt was being controlled by a bigger evil, and shiro played right into it (allura figured things out of course)

**carrierpidgeon:** matt was being controlled by sENDAK, THE EVIL EX-COWORKER

**carrierpidgeon:** who in this story sought revenge bc matt pulled some bullshit

**mattata:** yeah that sounds about right

**kogayne:** since when was sendak an ex-coworker

**kogayne:** last i heard wasn’t he under review

**takashmeoutside:** yeah he’s still got his job

**mattata:** one more strike and he’s out for good, he’s on HEAVY WATCH

**kogayne:** damn

**kogayne:** i could provoke him into trying something if u want

**takashmeoutside:** shh matt and i got this, we’ve just gotta dig up some more dirt on him and we’re all good to go, anything can get him fired now

**kogayne:** does everyone know he’s been calling you takashit behind your back

**takashmeoutside:** unfortunately

**mattata:** it’s now a running meme

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh] they made me a meme

**mattata:** ;D

**carrierpidgeon:** meme boi

**lanceylance:** I’M MEME BOI

**lanceylance:** HOW DARE

**carrierpidgeon:** idc eat a dick

**carrierpidgeon:** wAIT NO

**lanceylance:** HEY KEITH

**kogayne:** pidge why

**carrierpidgeon:** I MADE A MISTAKE

**allurable:** you failed the chosen one test

**carrierpidgeon:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey i found an internet debate and i want your opinion on it

**lanceylance:** i’m both concerned and excited, hit me with it

**kogayne:** okay so you’re big into romance

**kogayne:** like nobody knew that

**lanceylance:** hoooo yeah romance that thing i don’t know how to do casually ;)

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** anyway there’s a debate going on about the whole “if you love something set it free and if it comes back it was meant to be” thing

**kogayne:** some people think it’s sweet, other people think it’s stupid bc if u love something u should fight for it, and if u don’t fight for it then did u ever really love it

**kogayne:** whats ur opinion

**lanceylance:** THAT’S DIFFICULT WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS

**kogayne:** I DUNNO

**lanceylance:** DO U HAVE AN OPINION

**kogayne:** SORTA??? I WANNA HEAR YOURS FIRST

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** HIT ME WITH IT

**lanceylance:** OKAY SO LIKE

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMM

**lanceylance:** on the one hand,

**kogayne:** oh you dropped the caps you’re getting deep

**lanceylance:** yes i am hush

**kogayne:** hushing

**lanceylance:** on the one hand, i feel like setting someone free is the equivalent to letting them do what they wanna do and not getting in the way of that

**lanceylance:** like if u said u wanted to move out to like,,,, idfk hawaii or something for a job i’m not gonna be like “uhhhh but my job is here so here’s what we’re Not doing” i’d be like “go for it bby live ur best life”

**lanceylance:** it’s like a support thing i guess

**lanceylance:** but on the other hand,

**lanceylance:** fighting shows you’re actually afraid to lose someone, i guess

**lanceylance:** like if u said “i’m going to hawaii” and i was like “aight bet have fun” there’s a chance you could be like “...that’s it? you’re not even gonna /try/ and stop me?”

**lanceylance:** whereas if i fought for u to stay then it shows i actually care about losing you 

**lanceylance:** bUT AT THE SAME TIME THAT SEEMS A LIL SKETCH TO ME BC IT’S LIKE “UHHH WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR PERSONAL LIFE AHEAD OF ME, I’M SORRY WHEN ARE WE NOT ABOUT ME”

**lanceylance:** it’s like a dougle-edged sword

**kogayne:** dougle

**lanceylance:** fuck

**kogayne:** it was poetic up until the typo

**lanceylance:** -_-

**lanceylance:** but u see what i’m getting at, right

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** okay now what’s your opinion on this before you run off and change the subject

**kogayne:** damn u caught me

**lanceylance:** kEITH

**kogayne:** OKAY SO

**kogayne:** speaking from my experiences

**kogayne:** which i guess would affect how one would see it

**kogayne:** i can /see/ both

**kogayne:** because while i act like a very “set it free” sort of person

**lanceylance:** u mean “sometimes i wanna break up bc i feel like u could do better”

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** while i act like that, it feels nice to be fought for, i guess??

**kogayne:** seeing as not many people in my life have actually been willing to fight for me????

**kogayne:** i dunno my anxiety defaults to “set them free don’t be clingy” and then my depression defaults to “fight for them don’t let them go cherish them while you can”

**kogayne:** u know

**lanceylance:** let it be known here and now i’ll fight for you forever

**lanceylance:** we’ll have been married for decades and probably like 90 years old and i’ll still be flirting with you like i’m two seconds away from losing you

**kogayne:** are u trying to make me cry

**lanceylance:** if anyone asks just say it’s the thought of the calc exam

**kogayne:** u know what, u right

**lanceylance:** uuuuhhhmm of course i’m right

**lanceylance:** but i’m serious

**lanceylance:** i’ll fight forever

**kogayne:** dewfgntjmyh

**kogayne:** i love you

**lanceylance:** love u too

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_acxalutelynot_ ** _ and  _ **_madplax_ ** _ to  _ **_DO THIS THING FOR ME_ **

**madplax:** well that gc name isn’t pushy at all

**madplax:** what do you need

**lanceylance:** TOMORROW

**madplax:** that would the day after this one

**acxalutelynot:** wednesday april 4th 2018 if you’re looking for a date

**lanceylance:** um i already have a date his name is keith and i love him

**madplax:** typical

**lanceylance:** anyway i know not everyone is on call tomorrow but plax i need you to pretend we have a meeting for the whole cast before rehearsal tomorrow

**lanceylance:** and acxa i need you to call a crew meeting

**madplax:** um you’re also a stage senior you can call the meeting yourself?

**lanceylance:** you’re generally the one who makes the announcements it would look too sus coming from me

**acxalutelynot:** ...and then it would look too sus if keith called one for crew…

**madplax:** speaking of boyo, where is he

**madplax:** why isn’t he in this gc

**lanceylance:** bc he can’t know about this

**lanceylance:** i’m surprising him

**madplax:** wasn’t his birthday in october?

**acxalutelynot:** isn’t today actually pidge’s birthday

**lanceylance:** yes and yes

**acxalutelynot:** cool tell her i said happy birthday

**madplax:** ^^^

**madplax:** but also what’s this for

**lanceylance:** i’m promposing to keith tomorrow and i want the cast and crew there to witness it

**madplax:** this is a promposal not a marriage proposal

**lanceylance:** yeah just keep assuming things

**acxalutelynot:** you’re not even 18

**lanceylance:** it was sARCASM ACXA

**lanceylance:** but anyway idc i want it to be special

**madplax:** typical

**madplax:** any particular reason it’s tomorrow of all days

**madplax:** aka when prom is a month away, u slacker

**lanceylance:** I’M NOT A SLACKER THIS IS PERFECTLY REASONABLE AND I HAVE AN EXCELLENT EXPLANATION AS TO WHY I WAITED SO LONG

**acxalutelynot:** yeah i was wondering about that, i thought you would’ve been one of the first promposals

**lanceylance:** well, prom day is actually our two year anniversary

**lanceylance:** and we got together during rehearsal

**lanceylance:** so i figured

**lanceylance:** april 4th is a month away from our anniversary, and coincidentally, we got together on a wednesday, and tomorrow is a wednesday

**lanceylance:** so what better way to prompose than to throw it back to how we got together

**madplax:** ...that’s actually really sweet and really well thought out what the fuck

**lanceylance:** i am a romantic

**acxalutelynot:** a pretty hopeless one at that

**lanceylance:** yes i a

**lanceylance:** wait was that a dig

**acxalutelynot:** it was whatever you want it to be

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmmmm  >:\

**acxalutelynot:** >:)

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY DO THOSE THINGS FOR ME PLEASE AND I’LL BE INDEBTED TO YOU FOREVER

**acxalutelynot:** you just did the equivalent of ariel signing over her voice

**lanceylance:** I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A MERMAID

**acxalutelynot:** should’ve worked harder on that #Lance4Ariel campaign then

**lanceylance:** i know

**lanceylance:** THANKS IN ADVANCE

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** HEY FUCKERS ONE ANNOUNCEMENT

**madplax:** FULL CAST MEETING BEFORE REHEARSAL TOMORROW TO GO OVER SOME IMPORTANT STUFF

**madplax:** if you’re not on call tomorrow then you can dip right after the meeting

**acxalutelynot:** CREW IS ALSO NEEDED AT THIS MEETING

**carrierpidgeon:** crew never meets this early, are we finally getting our shit together

**kogayne:** about time

**carrierpidgeon:** a birthday miracle

**acxalutelynot:** happy birthday

**madplax:** happy birthday best crew member!!!!!

**kogayne:** :O rude

**dinezor:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIDGE

**zethridofmyproblems:** HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAY

**lotoreal:** happy birthday!

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY DID I SAY SOMETHING IN THE GROUP CHAT

**floronawiththecorona:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIDGE!!

**zethridofmyproblems:** narti also says happy birthday

**floronawiththecorona:** so do swirn and blumfump

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA THANKS EVERYONE

 

**_PIDGE DAY_ **

**mattata:** everyone clear ur schedules tonight we’re going out for laser tag

**kogayne:** it’s a tuesday night

**kogayne:** ...living my best life

**carrierpidgeon:** I LOVE LASER TAG THANK YOU BROTHER DEAREST

**mattata:** i gotchu gremlin

**mattata:** i also took the liberty of making the teams

**mattata:** og squad vs those who wandered up in here

**mattata:** aka the holtganes vs everyone else bc we’re superior, obviously

**carrierpidgeon:** >:D

**kogayne:** oh hell yeah

**allurable:** :O HOW AM I NOT PART OF THE OG SQUAD

**mattata:** GANG ONLY

**mattata:** u can’t be in the gang if we weren’t bffs since birth sorry i don’t make the rules

**carrierpidgeon:** holy shit...i’ve known keith matt and shiro since my birth...hOLY SHIT

**kogayne:** pidge defense squad

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve known them all for so long...send help i am dying

**mattata:** okay so we all agree when we play tonight shiro’s the one we send out as a distraction

**takashmeoutside:** :O

**allurable:** dwerthngterfwgbdf we’re sending lance

**lanceylance:** hEY WAIT A MINUTE

**lanceylance:** BETRAYAL

**carrierpidgeon:** bAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**hunkerdunker:** you know we had to do it to em

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i totally meant to put up a chapter yesterday but we had a death in the family at the end of last week so this week's been really chaotic and won't stop being chaotic in that area till tomorrow, but also rehearsal is getting chaotic out of nowhere so like??? i dunno man
> 
> also my mental health has been...kinda weird?? i was feeling out of it at the end of last week even before the death in the family and i've been out of it yesterday and today (mostly due to my parents being assholes but what else is new) and i...soooooooooooooooorta had a brief anxious breakdown in the middle of writing the chapter? (it lasted 5 minutes and now i'm in this weird space)
> 
> anyway i'm aiming for a chapter tomorrow but i'm probably not gonna have reliable writing access until about...yIKE late late LATE in the afternoon and i've got school stuff to do so I DUNNO MAN THIS WEEK GOT REALLY CHAOTIC OUT OF NOWHERE AND I DON'T LIKE IT BUT IT'S FINE IT'S FINE JUST GOTTA MAKE IT TO FRIDAY THEN I'M ON BREAK
> 
> ("eileen can you maybe sLOW DOWN AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND STOP WRITING SO YOU CAN RECOVER?" nahhhhhhhh writing's the only way i know how to cope with anything)
> 
> anyway,,,, that's it that was more than you needed or cared to know
> 
> see y'all whenever the next chapter goes up


	117. this is probably more romantic than the vday chapter tbh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge has a dilemma; let's play "which YA series is the author shading"; BABY PHOTOS; it's time for another promposal ;D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all ur condolences, i'm doin okay
> 
> no trigger warnings here that i can think of, have fun

**_PIDGE DAY_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_PIDGE DAY_ ** _ to _ **_fire, hellfire_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** hELP

**mattata:** WHAT’S GOING ON

**kogayne:** DID SOMEONE HURT YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** NO SOMEONE LIKES ME AND I DON’T KNOW WHO IT IS

**allurable:** WHAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** WAIT WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** ugh okay so i go to my locker this morning to go get my shit and there’s a nOTE IN THERE

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** holy shi

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S A GIRL TOO???? LIKE????????

**carrierpidgeon:** i first saw the note and went “which boy am i letting down” but it’s a gIRL

**shayfromstatefarm:** but what if she’s an asshole

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll cross that bridge when i get to it first i gotta find out who this is

**kogayne:** do you have any suspects

**carrierpidgeon:** well it’s someone in my grade but i didn’t know there were many other wlw in my grade

**carrierpidgeon:** there’s me, sherrie, sherrie’s gf,,,

**allurable:** what if this is your own love, simon

**carrierpidgeon:** ...HOLY SHIT

**hunkerdunker:** love, katie

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** yeah hi let me talk to you about this personally

**kogayne:** spill all of your feelings here no one will see this

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY SO LIKE

**carrierpidgeon:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**carrierpidgeon:** I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS I HAVE A LOT OF CONFLICTING EMOTIONS ABOUT THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** like, one the one hand, sOMEONE LIKES ME

**carrierpidgeon:** AND IT’S A GIRL TOO

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, I DON’T KNOW WHO IT IS

**carrierpidgeon:** what if she’s actually an asshole?

**carrierpidgeon:** what if she’s not up to my standards??? 

**kogayne:** u have standards

**carrierpidgeon:** um obviously

**carrierpidgeon:** and then aLSO WHAT ABOUT SHERRIE, I STILL LIKE HER????????? AND IT OBVIOUSLY CAN’T BE HER BECAUSE /SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND/?????????

**kogayne:** you are in quite the predicament

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**allurable:** your arc as the chosen one has officially begun!!! you already have a mysterious love interest!!

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT DO I /DO/

**kogayne:** i would say don’t freak out but it looks like it’s a little late for that

**carrierpidgeon:** YA THINK

**kogayne:** okay so now what you need to do is breathe 

**carrierpidgeon:** SOMEONE LIKES ME I CAN’T BREATHE

**kogayne:** well u gotta

**carrierpidgeon:** brain: stop breathing and start flipping out   
me: why   
brain: you gotta

**kogayne:** i mean, relatable

**kogayne:** but also

**kogayne:** fuckin breathe maybe

**carrierpidgeon:** but

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** how many times are u gonna scream this morning

**carrierpidgeon:** so many

**carrierpidgeon:** but???? MMM

**kogayne:** but mmm what

**carrierpidgeon:** WHO IS IT

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW DO THEY KNOW ME

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW DO THEY KNOW MY LOCKER NUMBER

**carrierpidgeon:** ARE THEY IN MY CLASSES

**carrierpidgeon:** I MUST INVESTIGATE

**kogayne:** you do that

**kogayne:** do u wanna get the bloodhounds on it

**carrierpidgeon:** are u talking about the rest of our squad or lotor’s

**carrierpidgeon:** bc lotor’s squad is much more investigative than ours

**kogayne:** i mean i was talking about ours but u right

**kogayne:** i mean the group chat already knows about the note but 

**kogayne:** if u wanna talk in depth about it with the rest of the squad i’m sure none of the others are gonna jump down ur throat on this

**carrierpidgeon:** i just wanna keep this between us rn i dunno how to deal with feelings and obviously you know that feeling best

**kogayne:** did u just roast me

**carrierpidgeon:** maybe

**carrierpidgeon:** erthertfgtjdrtng you get what i mean though

**kogayne:** disaster gays

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**kogayne:** disaster gay and disaster gayce

**kogayne:** all this time we thought u were distinguished, or at least functional

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM A HUMAN DISASTER

**kogayne:** okay no i’m a human disaster you’re not that bad

**kogayne:** but okay we’ll keep it between us for now

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks

**kogayne:** i gotchu

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** oh no now i must weigh my problems and decide which one to focus on

**carrierpidgeon:** my moral issues surrounding my mission to save the world or figuring out who my secret love interest is?

**lanceylance:** you obviously choose the love interest and leave everyone else to die until a Big Event forces you into realizing what you’ve done and forces you to act

**carrierpidgeon:** obviously

**carrierpidgeon:** as we save the world our unresolved tension simmers and we suffer a host of communication issues that can only be quelled by making out until we inevitably get mad again 

**kogayne:** a near-death experience finally forces you to confront your feelings and just as things settle another love interest gets thrown in to create more tension 

**carrierpidgeon:** i spend three books and four movies going back and forth before i inevitably settle on the mysterious new character rather than whichever one has closer ties to my past bc the past is gone and everything is a metaphor

**kogayne:** the audience writes fanfics about everything bc they either hardcore ship the endgame or they don’t and they’re bitter and won’t be satisfied until they fix things

**shayfromstatefarm:** omfg stop i’m having war flashbacks

**carrierpidgeon:** I AM SUFFERING FROM SECRET ADMIRER ANXIETY AND I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER WITH ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** YES

**carrierpidgeon:** S U F F E R

**shayfromstatefarm:** FUCK YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** NO THANKS

**carrierpidgeon:** I LIKE GIRLS BUT NOT LIKE THAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** DJCJDJJDKFJWJWOD

**mattata:** so what are you gonna do about this secret admirer

**carrierpidgeon:** act oblivious while i become hyper-aware of everything happening around me including girls in my grade

**mattata:** good plan

**lanceylance:** subtle, sneaky

**lanceylance:** i like it

**carrierpidgeon:** good bc i’m not changing it now

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**takashmeoutside:** [walks into work]

**takashmeoutside:** olia: hEY GUESS WHAT

**takashmeoutside:** me: what

**takashmeoutside:** olia: SENDICK QUIT 

**kogayne:** WHAT

**allurable:** ABOUT TIME

**mattata:** The Evil Has Been Defeated

**allurable:** alright memetthew

**mattata:** we’re finally free

**kogayne:** does that mean i can come back and start buying cryptid books again without being told i’ll never find a girlfriend

**lanceylance:** i mean you’re still never going to find a girlfriend

**kogayne:** oh no however will i go on

**kogayne:** how will i survive in this cold hard world without a girlfriend

**kogayne:** i must die then

**kogayne:** [dies]

**allurable:** tragic

**kogayne:** okay you kNOW WHAT

**allurable:** I HAVE BABY PICTURES DON’T TEST ME

**lanceylance:** ...can i have them

**carrierpidgeon:** wait u didn’t meet shiro and matt till keith was like,,, 8

**allurable:** has it really been that long?

**kogayne:** if there’s an 8 year age gap between me and shiro

**kogayne:** and he was fifteen entering sophomore year

**kogayne:** she actually met me when i was...no shit wow i was 8, i was 7 for like a month

**kogayne:** bc shiro turned 16 that year

**carrierpidgeon:** wait so then why does allura have baby pictures

**lanceylance:** GIVE THEM TO ME

**allurable:** ur cousin is an asshole :P

**takashmeoutside:** I’M BEING EXPOSED

**kogayne:** YOU SHOWED HER MY BABY PICTURES

**takashmeoutside:** WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR LIKE 10 YEARS NOW IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN EVENTUALLY

**lanceylance:** AM I GETTING THESE PHOTOS OR NOT

**lanceylance:** SEND ME THE PHOTOS OF MY BOYFRIEND AS A SQUISHY FACE BABY

**kogayne:** ALLURA I SWEAR

 

**_allurable > lanceylance_ **

_ (12) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** shhhhhhhh

**lanceylance:** THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE

 

**_kogayne > allurable_ **

**kogayne:** LANCE IS SMILING REALLY BIG YOU FUCKING DIDN’T

**allurable:** SHIT ARE YOU AT LUNCH

**kogayne:** A L L U R A

**kogayne:** oh my god he has my baby pictures mY BOYFRIEND HAS MY BABY PICTURES

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

_ (13) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

 

**_kogayne > allurable_ **

**kogayne:** HE JUST SENT ME HIS OWN BABY PICTURES

**allurable:** HE WHAT

**kogayne:** THEN HE NUDGES ME AND GOES “WE’D MAKE SOME CUTE KIDS IF WE COULD”

**kogayne:** I AM GOING TO LAUNCH MYSELF DIRECTLY INTO THE FUCKING SUN

**allurable:** HE LOVES YOU

**allurable:** NOW SEND ME HIS BABY PICTURES SO I HAVE MORE BLACKMAIL MATERIAL

**kogayne:** i was about to say no

**kogayne:** but this is payback

_ (13) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** look at this cheeky fucker

**allurable:** you love him

**kogayne:** [long sigh] damn right i do

**kogayne:** i love him so much

**allurable:** oh god no don’t start gushing

**kogayne:** PAYBACK

**kogayne:** i love lance with my whole heart

**kogayne:** i can’t wait to marry him

**allurable:** so this is what shiro was talking about

**kogayne:** .../what/

**allurable:** he talks about how u text him at least twice a week just to gush about lance

**kogayne:** how manY TIMES IS SHIRO GOING TO EXPOSE ME

**allurable:** so many

**kogayne:** ...holy shit matt has just as much dirt on me

**allurable:** [whistles casually and walks away]

**kogayne:** WAIT WHAT HAS MATT SAID

**allurable:** makin my way downtown walkin fast

**kogayne:** ALLURA

**allurable:** WALKIN FASTER

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** DID ALLURA SEND THE BABY PICTURES

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE LOOKS LIKE ALLURA SENT THE BABY PICTURES

**hunkerdunker:** keith is flustered what’s happening

**carrierpidgeon:** STOP TEXTING OUTSIDE OF THE MAIN GC YOU HEATHENS

**carrierpidgeon:** SPEAK UP OR TEXT UP BUT DON’T KEEP US IN THE DARK

**lanceylance:** i put my baby picture and keith’s in a morphface thing and look at the result

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** LOOK

**kogayne:** GUESS I’LL DIE

**allurable:** KEITH LOVES THIS DON’T LET HIM TELL YOU OTHERWISE

**kogayne:** SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s got his head in his arms you broke him

**lanceylance:** i touched his face it’s hot as hell ewrethngwfedgbrf

**takashmeoutside:** WEAK

**lanceylance:** keith: “shiro gets flustered all the time he just covers it up”

**lanceylance:** keith: “tell him i said ‘the spaghetti incident’ he’ll know what it means”

**takashmeoutside:** WE AGREED NEVER TO TALK ABOUT IT

**mattata:** SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

**allurable:** DWFDGHNGRSFDCG STOP NO

**carrierpidgeon:** I REMEMBER THAT HOLY SHIT

**hunkerdunker:** WAIT WHAT’S THE SPAGHETTI INCIDENT

**hunkerdunker:** DID YOU RUIN PERFECTLY GOOD ITALIAN CUISINE

**lanceylance:** keith says he’s purposely not going to say anything

**lanceylance:** yet

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH KOGANE

**lanceylance:** keith: “payback”

**shayfromstatefarm:** pls don’t ruin spaghetti for me i just want to eat pasta in peace

**lanceylance:** keith: “all in due time”

**lanceylance:** k bye i’m gonna go snuggle him bc he’s easy to snuggle when he’s flustered

**takashmeoutside:** THE WORST™

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** casual reminder there’s a meeting right after school for cast and crew

**madplax:** try not to be late u fuckers

**lotoreal:** is it necessary to call us fuckers in every announcement?

**madplax:** yes

**madplax:** why wouldn’t i

**madplax:** that’s no fun

**dinezor:** could be worse

**madplax:** it could be /much/ worse

**floronawiththecorona:** MUCH WORSE

**madplax:** hush flor

**floronawiththecorona:** she has nicknames for everyone

**madplax:** HUSH

**lotoreal:** ...i don’t want to know

**madplax:** rtnytrefwf

**kogayne:** glad to see i’m not the only one being exposed by my love ones

**lanceylance:** KEITH KOGANE WAS AN ADORABLE BABY AND HE’S ALL MINE I AM SO BLESSED

**kogayne:** WGHMJGFEDW

**madplax:** i make one announcement and they have to come in here and klance it up i want a refund

**hunkerdunker:** i almost said u don’t pay for this club but then i remembered that this club is expensive as hell

**madplax:** lololololololol we haven’t even made the ad form

**acxalutelynot:** the show’s in a little over a month

**madplax:** LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

**lanceylance:** this hell club is a mess

**kogayne:** whenever the forms come out i’ll buy a full page on behalf of lance

**madplax:** that’s expensive

**kogayne:** a sacrifice i’m willing to make

**lanceylance:** ...WAIT A MINUTE

**kogayne:** shh don’t worry about it

**lanceylance:** DON’T LET HIM BUY A FULL PAGE

**kogayne:** i can do just as much damage with a half page now let me do this

**lanceylance:** WHEN FORMS COME OUT HE GETS NOTHING BUT A BLURB ARE WE UNDERSTOOD

**acxalutelynot:** [long sigh] this has to do with baby pictures doesn’t it

**lanceylance:** HOW

**acxalutelynot:** “keith kogane was an adorable baby” it wasn’t hard

**kogayne:** so like i told allura i am going to launch myself directly into the sun

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** how did i know this cast/crew meeting was a bunch of bullshit

**allurable:** wait what’s happening

**carrierpidgeon:** lance just asked me to videotape him promposing to keith

**carrierpidgeon:** this fucker made plax and acxa call meetings sO HE COULD PROMPOSE

**allurable:** THAT’S ADORABLE

**mattata:** i’m not even surprised at this point

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god he’s serenading keith bye

**allurable:** he’s promposing at /musical rehearsal/ what did you expect

**carrierpidgeon:** i don’t even know at this point

_ (1) video from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** look at this shit

**takashmeoutside:** is that...21 chump street…

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT

**mattata:** WE WERE IN THEATRE TOO

**mattata:** THIS GROUP CHAT IS MADE UP OF THEATRE NERDS

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** you: shIRO I LO   
me: yes   
me: we get it   
me: you love lance so much   
me: you could die with how much you love him   
me: WE KNOW

**kogayne:** RUDE

**kogayne:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

**kogayne:** OUR TWO YEAR IS A MONTH A WAY AND IT’S A WEDNESDAY AND HE SOMEHOW SNUCK LIGHTSABERS BY ME?????

**kogayne:** HE PLANNED EVERY LAST DETAIL OF THIS NO ONE EVER DOES THIS FOR ME I’M CRYING

**kogayne:** I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

**kogayne:** I’M GONNA MARRY THE SHIT OUT OF HIM

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** someone tell lance to come get his boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i forgot how much i hate the smell of funerals, it brings up bad memories
> 
> ANYWAY i went back to school after the funeral (i went in the morning and left and came back regtrewfbrtgesf) and rehearsal started an hour and a half after school so like, a bunch of us dicked around in the auditorium till then, and the assistant director had to leave early, right? he's like "be good ur director will be here any minute!!" and the director didn't show up for like, ANOTHER HOUR, so he was already like half an hour late by the time he arrived
> 
> AND THEN HE WAS HAVING ISSUES FIGURING OUT STUFF WITH THE SOUND SYSTEM SO WE DIDN'T START FOR /ANOTHER/ HALF HOUR AND /THEN/ HE ENDED REHEARSAL 15 MINUTES EARLY AND I ENDED UP NOT EVEN NEEDING TO BE THERE but it's all good it was wild
> 
> the security guard sitting in the hallway didn't do shit while we took over the sound system and blasted showtunes and ran around and screamed for two hours, i love the drama club
> 
> also before i go i forgot to mention: [I MADE A VOLTRON DISCORD, FEEL FREE TO JOIN IT](https://discord.gg/5XEQTbZ). it's modded by me, bea, and my brother (but my brother only ever shows up to play with the pokemon bot sfewedfwdv)
> 
> anyway idk when the next chapter is, i'm aiming for another sgd update by like, saturday
> 
> see y'all later


	118. WE HAVE A NEW PLOT ARC BOIS (ft. keith having a crisis and lance being the best boyf)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOMEONE NEW ENTERS THE SCENE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> frgtyhrefrgtegw i cried multiple times writing this chapter solely bc i love klance, mmmm lovin me some soft boyfriends
> 
> anyway, tis midnight on this fine monday morning, here is your monday chapter
> 
> **trigger warning for an anxiety attack/depressive episode, mention of abandonment and parental death**

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** shiro howe busy are oyur git now

**takashmeoutside:** did you just wake up

**kogayne:** HOW BUSY ARE YOU 

**kogayne:** i need to tlak you to

**kogayne:** *to oyu

**kogayne:** fghtnjthfsdgb

**takashmeoutside:** are you okay?

**kogayne:** ANSDER MY QUEISTON

**takashmeoutside:** i’m not busy we just opened

**takashmeoutside:** why

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on

**takashmeoutside:** and can you maybe slow down and be coherent

**kogayne:** SORRY TRYING NTO TO FKREWA OUT

**takashmeoutside:** keysmashing and hoping autocorrect knows what you’re saying won’t help

**takashmeoutside:** why are you freaking out

**takashmeoutside:** actually first

**takashmeoutside:** physically, are you okay

**kogayne:** FINE BESIDES AN ONCOMIGN PANXCICK ATTAKC

**takashmeoutside:** breathe

**takashmeoutside:** you know how to breathe

**takashmeoutside:** b r e a t h e

**takashmeoutside:** where are you right now

**kogayne:** home

**takashmeoutside:** alone?

**kogayne:** yeha

**takashmeoutside:** *yeehaw

**kogayne:** sadfnbdsfeadfsc  sotp tritnh to make me laugh this is sieorus

**takashmeoutside:** but it worked

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** okay sorry

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on

**kogayne:** hnnn how old were you when my mom left

**takashmeoutside:** .../what/

**kogayne:** YOU TREAD THE RQEUSTION

**takashmeoutside:** like 9??? why?? 

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on, keith?

**kogayne:** what do you remmebrt abiut her

**takashmeoutside:** not much?? keith pls tell me what’s going on

**takashmeoutside:** why are you freaking out over your mom

**kogayne:** was her name really krolia?

**takashmeoutside:** ...yeah...unless every adult in our life was playing some elaborate joke on us

**takashmeoutside:** why??

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i got this email.

**kogayne:** unless there’s someone else out there named krolia who was once married to a tex kogane, then…

**kogayne:** shiro what the FUCK IS THIS

**takashmeoutside:** holy shit

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FGUC

**takashmeoutside:** is that legit?

**takashmeoutside:** holy /shit/

**kogayne:** I THINK??? I DON’T KNOW

**kogayne:** WHO WOULD PRETEND TO BE MY MOM AND JUST EMAIL ME OUT OF NOWHERE ON A MONDAY MORNING AND CONFESS THAT SHE WANTS TO RECONNECT AFTER /SIXTEEN FUCKING YEARS/??? 

**kogayne:** ACTUALLY WHY WOULD MY REAL MOM DO THAT

**takashmeoutside:** did you email back?

**kogayne:** NO???? what if this is a joke???????? what if it’s REAL??????

**takashmeoutside:** “i have limited internet access during the week” that sounds...really sus, actually

**takashmeoutside:** do you wanna get the holts on this and see if pidge can do something, like trace the IP??

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** as it is i spent twenty minutes trying to work up the courage to approach you

**kogayne:** just

**kogayne:** hnnnnnnnnn

**takashmeoutside:** do you want me tell you what i know about your mom and see if it helps

**kogayne:** hhh i ugess

**takashmeoutside:** 1) her name is krolia

**kogayne:** har har very funny

**takashmeoutside:** shh

**takashmeoutside:** 2) she wasn’t around much even when she was in the picture

**takashmeoutside:** 3) no one really knew much about her

**kogayne:** ??? is that it

**takashmeoutside:** basically

**kogayne:** elaborate

**takashmeoutside:** well we’d visit your dad or your dad would visit us and he’d always be alone??? or with you once you were born??

**takashmeoutside:** he’d always say your mom was like, on a business trip or something

**takashmeoutside:** or away doing “work”

**takashmeoutside:** but no one?? really knew what your mom did??

**kogayne:** not even dad?

**takashmeoutside:** not even your dad

**kogayne:** WHAT THE FUCK WHAT KIND OF MARRIAGE IS THAT

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ theirs i guess

**takashmeoutside:** she’d be gone for long stretches of time, but she’d at least keep contact

**takashmeoutside:** until one day when you were about two, she left and we never heard from her again

**kogayne:** ????????????? what

**takashmeoutside:** and now she’s reaching out to you

**takashmeoutside:** assuming this is actually her

**kogayne:** this is so fucking sus i can’t deal with this

**takashmeoutside:** have you told anyone else?

**kogayne:** LIKE I SAID, I COULD BARELY TELL YOU AND I DON’T EVEN WANT TO TELL THE HOLTS

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** are you gonna respond to the email?

**kogayne:** HOW DID SHE EVEN FIND ME

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know

**takashmeoutside:** it’s the 21st century, everyone’s connected somehow

**kogayne:** okay but my pERSONAL EMAIL?? NO ONE KNOWS THAT

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know

**kogayne:** SHE SAYS SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE MUCH TIME AT A COMPUTER SO THIS??? DOESN’T ADD UP?????? HOW CAN SHE FIND ME WITH LIMITED COMPUTER ACCESS

**takashmeoutside:** maybe she’s spent years searching, who knows

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** WHAT IF THIS ISN’T HER

**kogayne:** WHAT IF IT’S THE MEN IN BLACK FINALLY COMING FOR ME

**takashmeoutside:** check ryan bergara’s twitter

**kogayne:** why

**takashmeoutside:** is he still active

**kogayne:** ...yes, as far as i can tell…?

**takashmeoutside:** it’s not the men in black, they would obviously come for him first

**kogayne:** -_-

**kogayne:** okay so let’s assume this /is/ my mom

**kogayne:** “mom”

**kogayne:** what do i even say???

**kogayne:** yeah hi i /am/ the son you abandoned 16 years ago!!! oh of course we can just randomly meet up somewhere two months before i graduate and blow this town!! yeah this is absolutely fine it’s not like i have a life of my own of which you’ve never wanted to be part until now!! oh where’s dad?? FUCKING DEAD AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN SHOW FOR HIS FUNERAL

**takashmeoutside:** breathe keith

**kogayne:** WHY DOES SHE WANT TO MEET ME NOW

**kogayne:** WHY RIGHT BEFORE I GO TO COLLEGE

**kogayne:** I’M FINALLY SETTLING INTO MY LIFE AND I’M FINALLY HAPPY FOR MORE THAN A WEEK AT A TIME AND???

**kogayne:** fwegythnrtgrfd

**kogayne:** i’m not gonna respond

**takashmeoutside:** are you ever going to

**kogayne:** eventually curiosity will probably get the better of me but for now she can choke

**kogayne:** she ghosted me for 16 years she can deal with me not responding for a few days

**kogayne:** or weeks

**kogayne:** OR MAYBE NEVER

**kogayne:** i am on VACATION i am going to relax and enjoy the week and prep for accepted students’ day on saturday and LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I HAVE BEEN 

**kogayne:** ...but also should i tell lance

**takashmeoutside:** it’s up to you

**kogayne:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm but what if it scares him off

**takashmeoutside:** if your dazzling personality hasn’t sent him running for the hills then i don’t think anything will

**kogayne:** bitch

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** hhhhhnnnn i dunno if i should tell him

**takashmeoutside:** tell him you’ll probably feel better about it

**kogayne:** but i haven’t even told the holts and they’ve basically been family since like, FOREVER

**takashmeoutside:** u know u wanna tell him just do it

**kogayne:** hhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn i /am/ gonna marry him

**takashmeoutside:** u sure

**kogayne:** damn fucking right i am

**kogayne:** he’s seen me at my lowest and i’ve seen him at his lowest we’re in this thing for LIFE

**takashmeoutside:** good to know

**takashmeoutside:** if he breaks ur heart lemme know so i can kick his ass

**kogayne:** my mom broke my heart is she also on your shit list

**takashmeoutside:** i feel like i’m supposed to say no here but yes she is

**kogayne:** good she’s at the top of mine

**takashmeoutside:** not even rolo is at the top?

**kogayne:** rolo’s a trick-ass bitch but i’m pretty sure my mom is the reason for my LASTING TRAUMA, SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** understandable have a nice day

**takashmeoutside:** i get off of work at 3

**takashmeoutside:** u wanna spend some bro time or something to cool down

**kogayne:** yeah that’d be nice considering when i tell lance there’s like a 99.99999% chance he shows up for the morning

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaAAAA HERE I GO I’M GONNA TELL HIM

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey uhhh can i talk to you about something like, important

**lanceylance:** yeah everything okay???

**kogayne:** lmao no but i talked to shiro already so everything’s better than it was like, 20 minutes ago

**lanceylance:** are /we/ okay?

**kogayne:** rtnhrefgbrefw no yeah we’re fine

**kogayne:** no it’s about my mom

**lanceylance:** …

**lanceylance:** your mom?

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** what’s goin on starlight

**kogayne:** hhhhhhh okay so i got an email from my mom this morning i guess?

**lanceylance:** you /what/

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** yep

**kogayne:** ...there it is...my mom’s email

**lanceylance:** dude what the fuck

**kogayne:** i already told shiro i’m going to ignore this for at least several days

**kogayne:** bc if it is her

**kogayne:** SHE GHOSTED FOR 16 YEARS

**kogayne:** I CAN GHOST HER FOR A FEW DAYS

**lanceylance:** why doesn’t she have computer access that’s so weird??

**lanceylance:** unless she’s like...in a strange place, i guess

**lanceylance:** dude what does ur mom /do/

**kogayne:** haha funny i asked shiro about her and no one ever knew what she did so!!!! I DUNNO

**lanceylance:** ...dude

**lanceylance:** that’s really sketchy

**kogayne:** I KNOW

**lanceylance:** what if that’s not even your mom

**kogayne:** I DUNNO

**lanceylance:** do you want me to come over

**lanceylance:** wait no actually do you wanna come over here? i’ll come get you

**kogayne:** yeah sure that’d be nice

**lanceylance:** how many people know about this? besides shiro?

**kogayne:** just you

**kogayne:** i don’t know when i’m gonna tell the holts

**kogayne:** soon probably

**kogayne:** they basically helped raise me it’s only fair

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** listen i don’t wanna push you to do anything you don’t want

**lanceylance:** but my mom’s home

**lanceylance:** and i’m sure she’d be willing to listen

**kogayne:** hhh

**lanceylance:** like i said i’m not gonna push u

**lanceylance:** do what u want

**lanceylance:** but i’m just letting u know the option is on the table

**kogayne:** ...mmmmmmmm

**kogayne:** am i really gonna expose this to the whole gc

**kogayne:** bc if i tell the holts then allura hunk and shay are the only ones in the dark and it’s only fair everyone knows and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** take all the time you need

**lanceylance:** i’ve got u

**kogayne:** mm

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaa i need to go to your house being in this house is starting to suffocate me i need mcclain time

**lanceylance:** when do u want me to come get u

**lanceylance:** now?

**kogayne:** i gotta shower but if u wanna come over and just,, wait, that’s fine with me

**lanceylance:** i’ll stop and get dunks on the way to kill some time

**lanceylance:** u want ur usual?

**kogayne:** yes please

**lanceylance:** gotchu

**lanceylance:** i’ll be over soon ily  <333

**kogayne:** thanks lance

**kogayne:** i love u too

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** hey are u busy

**takashmeoutside:** not particularly

**takashmeoutside:** i take it keith told you

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** is it wrong to say i felt violently protective the second i read the email

**takashmeoutside:** define violently protective

**lanceylance:** it’s nowhere near my call to make but if that is his mom i highkey don’t want her anywhere near keith after what she did

**lanceylance:** and it /sounds wrong/ but MMMMM I JUST CARE ABOUT HIM AND I WANT HIM HAPPY AND SAFE AND THAT’S THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT’S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

**takashmeoutside:** what’s happening right now

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna go get him and bring him over here

**lanceylance:** and by here i mean my house

**lanceylance:** bc he said he’s suffocating being home alone and he needs mcclain time

**takashmeoutside:** damn this isn’t the group chat pidge isn’t here to be a gremlin

**takashmeoutside:** and i’m feeling too nice to call you two out

**lanceylance:** GOOD

**lanceylance:** i love him

**lanceylance:** and if something happened to him i’d kill everyone in the room and then myself

**takashmeoutside:** oh thank god doing the dirty work so i don’t have to

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** okay imma let u go so i can go be with my baby

**takashmeoutside:** nvm i’m up to assuming pidge’s role

**takashmeoutside:** Disgusting™

**lanceylance:** stfu ur whipped for mallura and are just as disgusting with them as i am with keith

**takashmeoutside:** you can’t prove a thing

**lanceylance:** OH CAN’T I

**takashmeoutside:** wait FUCK

 

**_lanceylance > allurable_ **

**lanceylance:** I NEED TO BLACKMAIL SHIRO DO YOU HAVE PROOF OF HIM BEING GROSSLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND MATT

**allurable:** ...yes

_ (27) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** GO WILD

 

**_lanceylance > mattata_ **

**lanceylance:** I NEED TO BLACKMAIL SHIRO DO U HAVE ANY PROOF OF HIM BEING GROSSLY IN LOVE WITH U AND ALLURA

**mattata:** why are u blackmailing shiro

**lanceylance:** bc i told him he’s just as gross with u and allura as i am with keith and he said i couldn’t prove anything

**mattata:** *tsk* when will shiro learn

_ (45) photos from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** have at it buddy

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** DID LANCE TEXT EITHER OF YOU TWO

**allurable:** no why

**mattata:** ???

**takashmeoutside:** NVM

 

**_allurable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** did he text u

**mattata:** frthngregbfdr of course

**allurable:** and did u give him anything

**mattata:** um duh?

**allurable:** so did i

**mattata:** ...we’re so mean

**allurable:** no we’re not

**mattata:** dfgrterwgb u right

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**kogayne:** okay so uhh

**kogayne:** after extensive discussion i’ve decided to tell the group chat something

**carrierpidgeon:** :O ARE U FINALLY CLEAN OF UR EMO PHASE

**kogayne:** stfu

**kogayne:** no this is actually,,, pretty serious and personal

**kogayne:** lance and shiro already know

**mattata:** did we expect anything else

**kogayne:** i should probably tell the holts separately but too late

**kogayne:** i got an email from my mom today, and she wants to meet me

**carrierpidgeon:** OHLD OYP

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT

**mattata:** WAIT WHAT

**allurable:** FOR REAL?

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT

**hunkerdunker:** NO WAY

**kogayne:** ...yep.

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** I EXPECTED A WEEK-LATE APRIL FOOLS JOKE HOLY SHIT

**hunkerdunker:** limited internet access?? wtf?

**kogayne:** yeah we uh

**kogayne:** don’t know what’s up with that

**kogayne:** but uh

**kogayne:** we’re pretty sure this is really my mom

**kogayne:** and i was advised to respond as soon as possible so this thing doesn’t eat me alive

**kogayne:** even though i won’t get a response for a little while, it looks like

**carrierpidgeon:** this is fucking wild

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i’m still processing

**shayfromstatefarm:** omfg?

**kogayne:** :)))))))))))))))))))))))))

**allurable:** why /now/

**kogayne:** idfk

**kogayne:** finally tracked me down??? idk man

**kogayne:** i’m

**kogayne:** not happy about this

**kogayne:** but u know, things tend not to go right for me

**kogayne:** should’ve expected this

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** >:((((((((((((( I AM ANGRY

**lanceylance:** HE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS

**lanceylance:** HE BROKE DOWN AGAIN HE WAS DOING SO WELL

**takashmeoutside:** wait what??

**lanceylance:** MMM

**lanceylance:** WE JUST FINISHED TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THIS AND SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE ROOM AND HE JUST

**lanceylance:** BROKE

**lanceylance:** HE WAS BASICALLY LIKE “I WAS HAVING IT TOO GOOD I KNEW IT WOULDN’T LAST”

**lanceylance:** I’M SO PISSED

**allurable:** okay so if keith ever actually meets his mom someone’s gotta be there to keep lance from going berserk

**lanceylance:** I WILL DEFEND MY BOYFRIEND WITH MY LAST DYING BREATH

**hunkerdunker:** did u just automatically assume keith would bring lance along

**takashmeoutside:** is she wrong tho

**hunkerdunker:** ...no i guess not

**lanceylance:** future husband

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**kogayne:** oh my god 

**kogayne:** what if she’s homophobic

**kogayne:** fuckfuckfuck ghrewgtnrtgebnrbgsf

**kogayne:** that’s the one part of myself i could accept fairly quickly given all the other shit and???

**carrierpidgeon:** she can catch these hands

**takashmeoutside:** she can catch me outside how about that

**kogayne:** what if she wants me to move somewhere with her

**kogayne:** hhhhnnnnnn

**allurable:** breathe boyo

**mattata:** dude ur 18 /and/ she spent most of ur life away from u

**mattata:** she can’t tell u shit

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** as far as legality is concerned, i’m ur legal guardian

**takashmeoutside:** and it would be a waste to do a custody battle on an 18-year-old bc technically u don’t need a legal guardian at ur age

**shayfromstatefarm:** plus u don’t even have a meeting set up

**shayfromstatefarm:** ur not even 100% sure it’s really your mom

**carrierpidgeon:** okay but who would just randomly catfish keith pretending to be his mom

**shayfromstatefarm:** predators

**takashmeoutside:** there are some fucked people on this planet

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** okay i’m with keith rn and i just managed to get him to put his phone down so we’re gonna go and i’m gonna spend some quality time with him before i have to leave

**lanceylance:** i’ll be seein most of y’all at rehearsal tomorrow right?

**hunkerdunker:** yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** mmm

**shayfromstatefarm:** give keith our love

**hunkerdunker:** ^^

**carrierpidgeon:** !!!!!^^^^^

**lanceylance:** alrighty

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll be home in like, two hours

**lanceylance:** shoot me a text when u get off work and i’ll bring him back by ur place

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** just got off my shift

**takashmeoutside:** how is he

**lanceylance:** his mom is gonna catch these fucking hands

**lanceylance:** he’s better than he was but still lowkey freaking out but now he’s trying to hide it

**lanceylance:** even tho he should know by now i can see right thru him

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** thanks for taking care of him

**lanceylance:** when are u gonna stop thanking me

**lanceylance:** it’s not a chore dude

**lanceylance:** this boy’s gonna be my husband one day and hopefully one day soon

**takashmeoutside:** HOLD UP DEFINE SOON

**lanceylance:** i dunno, next couple years?

**takashmeoutside:** and ur not lying to cover up a plan to elope?

**lanceylance:** shhhhhhhhhhhh

**takashmeoutside:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** SHSHSHSHSHSHSHHHHH THIS IS ABOUT KEITH

**lanceylance:** U KNOW

**lanceylance:** EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE COUSIN

**takashmeoutside:** yeah yeah i’m leaving now

**lanceylance:** yeah i’ll bring him home now

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** thank you

**kogayne:** and i know i told your mom thank you already but tell her again

**lanceylance:** shhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no thanks needed

**lanceylance:** ur a mcclain bby

**lanceylance:** i’ve got u

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** i’m gonna go

**kogayne:** i’ll text u in the morning?

**lanceylance:** <3 u got it <333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM i'm gonna develop this plot slowly mostly bc i wanna see how season 6 handles this,,, and i need confirmation of another fan theory before i can go too far with this
> 
> also this totally follows my "keith is angry and bitter at first bc he was abandoned and it created a bunch of mental issues for him" headcanon, but shhh, everything will happen in due time, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> see y'all whenever the next chapter happens to be
> 
> icymi: [i made a vld discord](https://discord.gg/5XEQTbZ) modded by me (nerdyspaceace), bea (currently I Am Your Mother Now, previously eggs), and my brother (Kman), feel free to join it and join us in our shenanigans


	119. it's tuesday tuesday gotta have rehearsal on tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> despite the spring break, the Theatre Grind Never Stops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my 5 hour rehearsal only went for 4 hours today and we spent about 1 of those 4 hours Doing Nothing i love the drama club

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** yo who’s actually showing up to rehearsal today

**lanceylance:** bc like, crew isn’t needed

**carrierpidgeon:** if crew isn’t needed why the FUCK would i spend five hours of my tuesday in that auditorium

**lanceylance:** because you love the drama club

**carrierpidgeon:** ...shit u right

**carrierpidgeon:** and if i’m not there i could miss a new Meme

**lanceylance:** so ur going

**carrierpidgeon:** u make a compelling argument, i guess i will if someone can give me a ride

**shayfromstatefarm:** i gotcha covered

**hunkerdunker:** i’m bringing food for lunch so no one needs to leave

**hunkerdunker:** i made a bunch of sandwiches last night bc i was bored

**lanceylance:** hunk u absolute angel

**lanceylance:** i knew u were the favorite

**kogayne:** bitch i thought i was the favorite

**lanceylance:** shhhhhh ;)

**hunkerdunker:** wOW SO WHAT’S THE TRUTH LANCE

**kogayne:** YEAH LANCE

**hunkerdunker:** smh he’s obviously leading us on

**hunkerdunker:** that’s it lance we’re breaking up

**kogayne:** yeah lance

**hunkerdunker:** hey keith u wanna go get coffee sometime

**kogayne:** ofc ;)

**lanceylance:** >:O

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK ARE U FORGETTING SOMETHING

**hunkerdunker:** oh shoot almost left my wallet thanks shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** >:O

**lanceylance:** WOW

**carrierpidgeon:** fertnhyjmntgwfeg

**lanceylance:** ...hey shay u free

**shayfromstatefarm:** sorry not my type

**kogayne:** OH SHIT

**lanceylance:** [throws arm over forehead] this is the worst day of my life [collapses to the floor] guess i’ll just [raises one arm to the sky and dramatically clenches fist] DIE

**hunkerdunker:** the evil has been defeated

**lanceylance:** fight me hunk

**hunkerdunker:** square up binch

**lanceylance:** (*ﾟｰﾟ)=○)ﾟＯﾟ)

**hunkerdunker:** wOW

**lanceylance:** uh you said square up this is what you get

**lanceylance:** okay anyway

**lanceylance:** shay’s got pidge, hunk’s got himself

**hunkerdunker:** [weeping] i’m so lonely

**lanceylance:** keith i got u orrr??

**kogayne:** please

**lanceylance:** u got it (・ωｰ)～☆

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** and how /is/ the most beautiful boy in the universe today (and don’t u fucking dare pull off that meme boi u know i’m talking about u)

**kogayne:** …

**kogayne:** i dunno, how /are/ you

**lanceylance:** BOI

**kogayne:** but tbh i’m...better than i was yesterday, i’ll give it that

**lanceylance:** 100 scale

**kogayne:** ...90? 95?

**lanceylance:** good enough

**lanceylance:** did u ever email her back

**kogayne:** yeah, late last night

**kogayne:** i’m not expecting a response for a while but at least the ball’s in her court

**lanceylance:** did u just use a sports metaphor

**kogayne:** so what if i did

**lanceylance:** i am a theatre boy the metaphor here is clearly “it’s her line”

**kogayne:** ...isn’t it theatre 101 to improv when people miss lines and cues so the audience doesn’t know what’s up

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**lanceylance:** i can’t believe u had to correct me on /theatre/ i am a sham

**kogayne:** we been knew

**lanceylance:** BOI

**lanceylance:** okay let’s just pretend my metaphor was in the context of rehearsal people can learn their lines weftrfnrtgewfrgbfe ANYWAY

**kogayne:** did you just keysmash to try and change the subject

**lanceylance:** so what if i did

**kogayne:** and now ur throwing my own words back in my face i can’t believe

**lanceylance:** believe it baby

**kogayne:** feghtnyrtge

**lanceylance:** what is my liberal use of nicknames today making u flustered or something starlight

**kogayne:** oh god

**lanceylance:** I’M GONNA CALL U NICKNAMES ALL DAY AT REHEARSAL AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** is this about your mom or something else

**kogayne:** ...lance…

**takashmeoutside:** nOPE NOT HEARING THIS OUT

**kogayne:** [banging fists on door] LET ME IN I HAVE TO GUSH ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND

**kogayne:** HE’S BEING CUTE YOU HAVE TO STOP HIM

**takashmeoutside:** you realize

**takashmeoutside:** stopping him means i have to text him

**takashmeoutside:** and he’ll inevitably end up gushing about /you/

**takashmeoutside:** and then it’ll backfire on you and he’ll /continue/

**kogayne:** wait you guys talk about me

**takashmeoutside:** oh jeez

**kogayne:** WHY IS HE SO CUTE

**kogayne:** WHY IS HE LIKE THIS

**takashmeoutside:** why do i feel like we’ve done this before

**kogayne:** I LOVE HIM

**takashmeoutside:** wgbhnberfwegbf would you just go be with him i’m on a shift here

**kogayne:** um he’s picking me up i don’t control that

**takashmeoutside:** THEN GO TEXT HIM

**kogayne:** BUT CAN I GUSH ABOUT HIM

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**kogayne:** SHIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**takashmeoutside:** [SHRIEKING] I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH THIS WHEN YOU GOT TOGETHER

**kogayne:** NEVER

  
**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** I’M GETTING US DUNKS U WANT THE USUAL

**kogayne:** YEAH WAIT COME GET ME BEFORE YOU GO TO DUNKIN

**lanceylance:** OKAY 

**lanceylance:** I’M LEAVING NOW SWEETIEPIE

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** rehearsal starts in 10 minutes and half of you fuckers aren’t here, better hurry up

**dinezor:** I WOKE UP LATE AND ACXA DIDN’T HELP ME I’M SORRY

**acxalutelynot:** crew doesn’t even need to be there wtf

**dinezor:** worst gf ever

**acxalutelynot:** :O

**dinezor:** I’M KIDDING DARLING WAIT

**carrierpidgeon:** hi kidding darling wait,

**dinezor:** PIDGE

**madplax:** smh can y’all just get here 

**madplax:** i’m not trying to be in this hellhole of a school building any longer than necessary on my spring break

**lanceylance:** [inhale]

**madplax:** DO NOT WITH AVENUE Q

**lanceylance:** [sad exhale]

**kogayne:** PLAX LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE YOU MAD HIM SAD

**hunkerdunker:** mad him sad

**kogayne:** hunk i thought we had something special

**hunkerdunker:** no i’m breaking up with you and going back to shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** and what if i don’t want you back after that betrayal

**zethridofmyproblems:** what the fuck did we miss

**lotoreal:** yeah, uhh?

**hunkerdunker:** smh lance was cheating on keith with me and cheating on me with keith so keith and i decided to get together but it didn’t work out

**shayfromstatefarm:** and hunk was apparently cheating on me with keith

**madplax:** do any of you have normal fucking relationships

**lanceylance:** buddy pal ex of mine

**lanceylance:** when have you ever known me to be /normal/

**madplax:** YOU WERE NORMAL FRESHMAN YEAR

**lanceylance:** no that’s just called Good Acting Skills™

**kogayne:** he actively antagonized me freshman year what part of that is normal

**lotoreal:** i thought that was normal teenage boy stuff.

**kogayne:** freghtgefwd

**madplax:** WHY IS NO ONE IN THIS FUCKING CHAT NORMAL

**floronawiththecorona:** you’re not normal get off your high horse

**carrierpidgeon:** who got the horse high

**lotoreal:** who’s the horse’s dealer

**madplax:** i hate. everyone

**floronawiththecorona:** no you don’t

**dinezor:** YOU WOULD BE BORED WITHOUT US

**acxalutelynot:** i’m with plax on this

**dinezor:** BETRAYAL

**shayfromstatefarm:** everyone is betraying everyone today

**shayfromstatefarm:** stop stealing my hunger game strategy

**acxalutelynot:** no bc that’s my strategy??

**dinezor:** what’s wrong with both of you why can’t you guys find someone to pull a katniss and peeta with so you can dismantle the games

**acxalutelynot:** katniss ended the series with ptsd and fell victim to the “redemption via motherhood” trope

**acxalutelynot:** she had to live with the knowledge that while war was a long time brewing, she sparked it and thus felt she was responsible for countless deaths including those of several friends and allies, as well as her sister, and then had to suffer through her best friend leaving because he could not comprehend the situation, /and/ never truly patched things up with her mother

**acxalutelynot:** i think i’ll come out sole victor and call it a day

**carrierpidgeon:** HUNGER GAMES DISCOURSE

**madplax:** THERE ARE NOW FIVE MINUTES TO REHEARSAL WE ARE NOT HAVING HUNGER GAMES DISCOURSE

**lanceylance:** EVERYONE’S GONNA WALK IN WITH BREAKFAST AND WE NEVER START ON TIME WE’RE DOING THIS IN THE AUDITORIUM

**acxalutelynot:** not me i’m going Back To Bed

**zethridofmyproblems:** ^^^^^^

**dinezor:** >:\

**madplax:** [long sigh]

 

**_< 3_ **

**mattata:** luraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**allurable:** yes darling

**mattata:** tell kashi to end his break early and Help Me

**takashmeoutside:** allyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

**allurable:** yes dear

**takashmeoutside:** tell matty it’s a tuesday morning and it’s not that bad

**allurable:** can i maybe get context here

**takashmeoutside:** matt’s stuck on restock duty

**mattata:** THERE’S SO MUCH

**takashmeoutside:** there’s not that much he’s just whining

**mattata:** no kashi is being MEAN

**allurable:** sfrgdtbgrwdbfr

**allurable:** shiro be nice to our boyfriend

**mattata:** YEAH SHIRO

**allurable:** matt how bad is restock that you’re complaining

**mattata:** there’s so much and olia left me to do it aLOEN

**takashmeoutside:** aloen

**allurable:** alolan

**mattata:** alright u fuckin nerd

**allurable:** shut up nerd

**takashmeoutside:** we get it you’re nerds

**allurable:** shut up nerd

**mattata:** shut up nerd

**takashmeoutside:** i am being slandered 

**mattata:** hurry up and hELP ME 

**takashmeoutside:** mmmm

**mattata:** WHAT’S IT GONNA TAKE

**allurable:** O.O 

**mattata:** YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND I CAN DO THIS MYSELF

 

**_kogayne > allurable_ **

**kogayne:** SHIRO WON’T LET ME GUSH ABOUT LANCE TO HIM CAN I GUSH TO YOU

**allurable:** what’s in it for me

**kogayne:** this is clearly blackmail material ripe for the picking?

**allurable:** shit u right

**allurable:** gush away!!

**kogayne:** OKAY SO LANCE IS THE WORST

**allurable:** WHAT DID HE DO

**kogayne:** HE’S SINGING AND I AM SO FUCKING HERE FOR IT

**kogayne:** BUT ALSO

**kogayne:** I’VE HEARD HIM PERFORM THESE SONGS BEFORE, AND HE’S SOMEHOW BETTER EVERY TIME?????? I?????????????

**kogayne:** AND IT DOESN’T HELP THAT HE KEEPS LOOKING AT ME WHEN HE’S SINGING

**allurable:** isn’t he supposed to be singing to ariel aka plax

**kogayne:** okay technically no

**kogayne:** that’s not till act 2

**allurable:** but

**kogayne:** bUT HE’S DEFINITELY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SINGING TO ME

**allurable:** u are clearly a Distraction why don’t u go do something Useful

**kogayne:** like what

**allurable:** i dunno go find something

**kogayne:** :O they need someone on curtain

**allurable:** doesn’t that put you directly in the wings with lance

**kogayne:** FUCK YEAH IT DOES

**allurable:** wouldn’t that be even more of a distraction to him

**kogayne:** he’s just as distracting to me he is also to blame

**allurable:** /boi/

**kogayne:** listen i LOVE HIM

**allurable:** WE KNOW

**kogayne:** i would kill for him

**allurable:** what about dying for him

**kogayne:** he would be so upset if i died ummm how about no??

**kogayne:** we have to live so we can grow old together

**allurable:** i can see why shiro gets sick of this

**allurable:** why do you gush so much about your boyfriend

**kogayne:** BECAUSE HE’S PRECIOUS TO ME

**kogayne:** he loves me with his whole heart

**allurable:** im sure multiple people do

**kogayne:** but have u considered: he’s my baby

**allurable:** ohhhhhh my gOOOOOOOOD

 

**_< 3 _ **

_ (6) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** KASHI YOUR COUSIN IS A SMITTEN DISASTER

**takashmeoutside:** [long sigh] i know

**mattata:** you agreed to let him gush for blackmail purposes?

**allurable:** i didn’t think it would be this bad

**allurable:** but it’s baaaaaaaad

**takashmeoutside:** yEAH TELL ME ABOUT IT

**mattata:** what a whipped boy

**allurable:** now wait just a minute matthew,

**allurable:** aren’t you /also/ a whipped boy

**mattata:** i mean i wAS till kashi refused to HELP ME

**takashmeoutside:** i was on break and then olia put me on the register excuse me

**mattata:** and you’re SURE you didn’t ASK OLIA TO PUT YOU ON REGISTER, TRAITOR

**allurable:** why would you want to be on register

**takashmeoutside:** ,,, well,

**allurable:** SHCJDJSNSND YOU ACTUALLY ASKED TO BE ON REGISTER

**takashmeoutside:** ...maybe

**allurable:** WOW

**mattata:** DO YOU SEE WHAT I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**allurable:** so kids, hows rehearsal 

**carrierpidgeon:** keith is dead

**allurable:** lance?

**carrierpidgeon:** yep

**lanceylance:** he’s not dead

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** he’s just getting the cuddles he deserves <3

**carrierpidgeon:** trust me that boy’s ass is  g o n e

**mattata:** he’s not dead he’s gushing to allura bc shiro won’t let him gush anymore

**kogayne:** ALLURA YOU TRAITOR

**allurable:** MATT’S THE ONE WHO EXPOSED YOU

**kogayne:** AND YOU EXPOSED ME TO MATT

**lanceylance:** aww you gush about me

**kogayne:** I Have To Die Now

**carrierpidgeon:** finally

**kogayne:** :O

**hunkerdunker:** how dare u kill my boyfriend

**kogayne:** wow hunk i thought we broke up but now suddenly you wanna be back together?? make up ur mind

**allurable:** ??????

**mattata:** wait what did we miss

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk cheated on me with lance and lance cheated on keith with hunk and lance also cheated on hunk with keith so hunk and keith has enough of lance’s shit and got together but then broke up and now hunk apparently wants keith back

**mattata:** ...what the fuck

**takashmeoutside:** this is why i never come in the group chat anymore: THIS SHIT HAPPENS

**kogayne:** shut up shiro you never come into this chat because you get roasted and can’t handle it

**takashmeoutside:** you get exposed i don’t know why you keep coming back

**kogayne:** YOU KNOW WHAT? I LOVE LANCE MCCLAIN AND HE DOES THINGS THAT MAKE ME WEAK BUT I LOVE BEING WEAK FOR HIM

**shayfromstatefarm:** cjcjdjdbensjs

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re lucky we’re on lunch break bc lance just /shrieked/

**lanceylance:** I LOVE KEITH

**hunkerdunker:** WE KNOW

**carrierpidgeon:** WE KNOW

**allurable:** WE KNOW

**takashmeoutside:** WE KNOW

**shayfromstatefarm:** WE KNOW

**mattata:** WE KNOW

**kogayne:** LET HIM LOVE ME

**hunkerdunker:** GO CUDDLE WITH HIM AND SPARE US

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** we’re free 

**carrierpidgeon:** THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED

**shayfromstatefarm:** so now what do we talk about

**carrierpidgeon:** i dunno

**mattata:** can we talk about yesterday

**takashmeoutside:** i still don’t know what to make of yesterday

**takashmeoutside:** it felt like a fever dream

**takashmeoutside:** literally i felt my soul leave my body

**allurable:** oof 

**allurable:** how are you feeling with that, kashi

**takashmeoutside:** uhhh would’ve been nice to hear from her 7 years ago when her in-laws died and her son nearly got put in the foster system but it’s fine everything’s fine 

**takashmeoutside:** good thing i’m so competent

**takashmeoutside:** or you know

**mattata:** it’s alright everything’s FINE 

**carrierpidgeon:** im still shook like??? 

**carrierpidgeon:** sometimes i forgot keith had i mom ngl

**hunkerdunker:** mood

**carrierpidgeon:** does anyone remember what she was like

**takashmeoutside:** lol no

**mattata:** nnnnnnnnnnope

**allurable:** i didn’t meet them till mama kogane was long gone

**takashmeoutside:** ugh no she doesn’t deserve the term “mama kogane” 

**takashmeoutside:** she ran out

**takashmeoutside:** she barely deserves “krolia”

**allurable:** krolia?????

**takashmeoutside:** her name

**allurable:** ...that name rings a bell 

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN

**allurable:** i feel like i’ve heard it somewhere

**allurable:** if i remember later i’ll ask my dad about it maybe

**takashmeoutside:** even if you forgot to ask for several weeks you’ll probably still get an answer sooner

**takashmeoutside:** what if she does have computer access but wants an excuse for when she forgets about her son

**takashmeoutside:** AGAIN

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay or maybe it’s genuine

**shayfromstatefarm:** i know we all want to be mad at her for abandoning keith

**shayfromstatefarm:** which was really shitty

**shayfromstatefarm:** but there must be a reason, right?

**takashmeoutside:** must be a pretty good reason. -_-

**takashmeoutside:** no financial support, nothing to even say she’s out there,

**hunkerdunker:** mmmmm this doesn’t sit well with me

**mattata:** i don’t think it sits well with any of us

**allurable:** we’ll just have to see

**allurable:** give it time, let her reply

**takashmeoutside:** when the day comes when she actually wants to meet keith, we all go and show her what a real family looks like

 

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added  _ **_allurable_ ** _ , _ **_mattata_ ** _ ,  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ , and  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ to  _ **_no bros or klance_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** yo shiros fuckin pissed

**allurable:** can you really blame him tho

**mattata:** u were only like, 9? 10? when shit went down with the custody battle

**mattata:** you have no idea the kind of toll it took on shiro to deal with that, on top of his parents dying, on top of being a college freshman

**mattata:** shiro was a wreck for like, almost two years 

**allurable:** ^^^ he had our families but for the most part he was handling things himself

**allurable:** he had to grow up a lot faster than most college freshmen

**hunkerdunker:** yikes

**shayfromstatefarm:** :(

**allurable:** for keith’s mom to just suddenly want to come back into his life...i would be angry too

**mattata:** ^^^^^^^

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**kogayne:** STOP TEXTING WITHOUT US WHAT’S GOING ON

**carrierpidgeon:** plotting your demise

**kogayne:** :O 

**lanceylance:** i smell another installment in the Brave Knight Chronicles!!!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** nO

**lanceylance:** PRINCE LANCEYLANCE AND THE BRAVE KNIGHT KOGANE have just avoided a narrow defeat by the suddenly-missing Sorceress Pidge,

**takashmeoutside:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takashi is not a happy camper
> 
> lolololololol i'm on the update grind i feel alive i love spring break i can get so much writing done wHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> 
> (gonna go nap before i crash or somethin see y'all in the next update of whatever)


	120. they talk about college

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance and hunay went to accepted students' day yesterday; the cryptkids talk about relationships; the Teens help each other with math; some klance moments bc ummmm y'all already know the author loves Them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i had accepted students' day on saturday and then i did no writing whatsoever bc it was fun but i was WIPED OUT and it's 1:30 AM on a monday and i did absolutely no homework but it's OKAY!! most of it is due tuesday :P

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**lanceylance:** the fact that we go back to school tomorrow is laughable bc i haven’t done any homework at all

 **hunkerdunker:** NONE?

 **lanceylance:** nope!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** none of the calc?

 **lanceylance:** /none/

 **hunkerdunker:** none of the lit?

 **lanceylance:** nope!!!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** the online physics?

 **lanceylance:** that’s not due till tuesday that’s a tomorrow problem

 **shayfromstatefarm:** LANCE

 **lanceylance:** i have had other priorities

 **carrierpidgeon:** “priorities”

 **hunkerdunker:** like?!

 **lanceylance:** sleeping

 **lanceylance:** giving my brain a rest

 **carrierpidgeon:** spendingeverywakingminutewithkeith

 **lanceylance:** LET ME LIVE I LOVE HIM

 **lanceylance:** look we took photos yesterday in our new arus sweatshirts

 _(5) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** the third one is outside of the housing we’re probably gonna be in next year

 **lanceylance:** :O AND HERE’S THE GROUP PHOTOS WITH HUNK AND SHAY

 _(8) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** ARUS SQUAD

 **carrierpidgeon:** smh can’t believe you’re leaving me behind

 **lanceylance:** the campus is only half an hour away

 **kogayne:** half an hour into the middle of /nowhere/ i don’t remember it being like that one time when i visited shiro

 **takashmeoutside:** tbh neither did i

 **hunkerdunker:** but the campus itself is like its own city so i mean,,, not /nowhere/?

 **kogayne:** i wonder how many cryptids are on campus

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith u ASS u can’t cryptid-hunt without me

 **kogayne:** i’ll facetime i promise

 **kogayne:** then if i die u know exactly what happened

 **takashmeoutside:** i almost said “if u die on campus we can sue them and get ur tuition paid” but then i remembered

 **takashmeoutside:** you would be dead

 **hunkerdunker:** obviously we sue anyway and split the tuition three ways between me lance and shay

 **lanceylance:** clearly

 **kogayne:** if it means they get their education it is a sacrifice i am willing to make

 **lanceylance:** retrfwefweedfwsdgf hold up knife boi don’t be trying to die

 **kogayne:** uhhhh

 **lanceylance:** >:(((

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith i swear

 **kogayne:** i will only die if i stumble across a cryptid and it kills me i promise

 **shayfromstatefarm:** is that just for college or across your whole life

 **kogayne:** mmmm good question

 **kogayne:** whole life

 **mattata:** so u essentially just promised to become immortal

 **mattata:** unless a cryptid kills u

 **kogayne:** yes

 **mattata:** u know that’s impossible right

 **kogayne:** um no

 **kogayne:** according to that one inspirational quote

 **kogayne:** nothing is impossible

 **kogayne:** the word itself says “i’m possible”

 **mattata:** oh my

 **mattata:** COUSIN BOYFRIEND IDC WHO SOMEONE COME GET THIS KID

 **kogayne:** YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

 **carrierpidgeon:** action film with keith as the protagonist

 **lanceylance:** i’m the private investigator/spy assigned to catch him

 **carrierpidgeon:** /can we have one concept with no klance/

 **lanceylance:** where’s the fun in that

 **kogayne:** ^^^

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith ur officially dead to me

 **carrierpidgeon:** anyway

 **carrierpidgeon:** i meant to ask yesterday but you heathens all fell ASLEEP

 **carrierpidgeon:** how /was/ ur accepted students day

 **hunkerdunker:** it was awesome

 **shayfromstatefarm:** keith took photos half the time

 **kogayne:** the arus campus is pretty i cAN’T HELP IT

 **kogayne:** inner photographer was just

 **kogayne:** screaming

 **kogayne:** i mean come on LOOK AT THIS

 _(14) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** LOOK AT THIS SHIT

 **carrierpidgeon:** :O

 **carrierpidgeon:** is that one of the engineering buildings in the fifth photo

 **kogayne:** YES

 **carrierpidgeon:** siri how do i get into college as an incoming hs junior

 **lanceylance:** ertegrbrgerfdvfw we’ll send tons of photos

 **carrierpidgeon:** if i don’t facetime at least one of u each day i will come to campus and fistfight you myself

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so how many photos of /lance/ did you take

 **kogayne:** what the fuc

 **kogayne:** k

 **kogayne:** fuck,k g

 **kogayne:** AUTOCORRECT HELP ME OUT

 **carrierpidgeon:** /how many mothman/

 **kogayne:** ,,, a lot

 **carrierpidgeon:** whipped

 **kogayne:** he looked starstruck the entire trip i mean look at this

 _(18) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** this is his dream school and he didn’t even think he’d get here and now??? WE’RE GONNA BE ROOMMATES

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m going to spend at least four years being subjected to that meme someone kill me please

 **kogayne:** u won’t i promise

 **kogayne:** well not from me

 **kogayne:** i can’t promise on lance’s behalf

 **carrierpidgeon:** so are u exciiiiiiiiiited

 **kogayne:** for what

 **carrierpidgeon:** the garrrrrrrrrrison

 **carrierpidgeon:** and rooming with your booooooooooyyyyyyfrieeeeeeeeeend

 **kogayne:** what are u, 12

 **carrierpidgeon:** on a scale of 1-10

 **kogayne:** mmmm u sure

 **carrierpidgeon:** absolutely

 **kogayne:** mmmm alrighty then

 **kogayne:** and yEAH I’M EXCITED LIKE??? that’s my baby

 **carrierpidgeon:** are u gonna cause disturbances and make ur whole floor hate u

 **kogayne:** wh

 **kogayne:** SHUT UP PIDGE

 **carrierpidgeon:** :P

 **carrierpidgeon:** just sayin u two don’t seem like the type to hold back

 **kogayne:** we’ve held back thus far

 **kogayne:** some kid came into the locker room freshman year bragging about “scoring” and nobody was confused so we’re already an anomaly

 **kogayne:** especially given we’re almost two years into our relationship

 **carrierpidgeon:** admirable tbh

 **carrierpidgeon:** ur not just in it to bang

 **kogayne:** nah

 **kogayne:** in this for love

 **kogayne:** speaking of love

 **kogayne:** any progress on the secret admirer investigation

 **carrierpidgeon:** i still have no fucking clue

 **carrierpidgeon:** we also haven’t been in school all week so i’ve had no time to truly search

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna start paying better attention to people’s handwriting in class and see if i can narrow it down

 **carrierpidgeon:** i wish

 **carrierpidgeon:** it had been a fUCKING EMAIL

 **carrierpidgeon:** SO I COULD AT LEAST GO BACK AND FORTH LIKE SIMON DID

 **kogayne:** you’ll figure it out i’m sure you will

 **carrierpidgeon:** I CAN’T HACK WRITTEN LETTERS

 **kogayne:** you’ve got this

 **kogayne:** who knows maybe your secret admirer is dramatic and just wants to do a big reveal

 **carrierpidgeon:** [loud shrieking]

 **kogayne:** lmfao are u that afraid of a secret admirer

 **carrierpidgeon:** no i’m afraid they’ll turn out to be like lance and then they get into their friend group

 **carrierpidgeon:** BECAUSE THEM PLUS MATT

 **carrierpidgeon:** IS NIGHTMARE FUEL

 **kogayne:** fgtnrewrbnrged

 **kogayne:** don’t slander him i love him

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith open ur eyes take off the rose colored lenses he’s a walking mememare

 **kogayne:** those rose colored lenses were never on

 **carrierpidgeon:** sorry sorry THEY’RE BRIGHT FUCKIN RED

 **kogayne:** :P

 **kogayne:** come on admit it you think someone like lance would be fun

 **carrierpidgeon:** shut ur mouth

 **kogayne:** am i wrong

 **carrierpidgeon:** no ur not and that’s the sad part

 **carrierpidgeon:** but on the not sad part i think a lot of different people would be fun

 **carrierpidgeon:** but ANYWAY LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THIS WHEN I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO IT IS YET

 **carrierpidgeon:** they might not even be up to my standards

 **kogayne:** sometimes standards don’t matter

 **carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **kogayne:** ur better than like 95% of the population standards don’t matter at that point

 **kogayne:** standards don’t matter standards don’t matter standards don’t matter

 **carrierpidgeon:** u done

 **kogayne:** hold on one more

 **kogayne:** STANDARDS DON’T MATTER

 **kogayne:** okay now i’m done

 **carrierpidgeon:** mmm boi

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**allurable:** I OVERSLEPT WHAT DID I MISS

 **lanceylance:** what do you mean overslept????

 **shayfromstatefarm:** allura it’s like 10 at night

 **allurable:** i took a nap

 **allurable:** and then slept through my alarms

 **mattata:** don’t you set like 12 alarms

 **allurable:** i think i set 13 actually

 **mattata:** alrighty then close enough

 **allurable:** anyway i slept through them ALL

 **allurable:** so what did i miss

 **lanceylance:** ...wHAT DID IIIII MISS

 **allurable:** VIRGINIA MY HOME SWEET HOME I WANNA GIVE YOU A KISS

 **lanceylance:** AYYYYYYYYYYY

 **lanceylance:** anyway u missed a lil discussion of the arus trip yesterday and keith promising to be immortal and also cryptids

 **allurable:** oh so a typical day in the gc

 **lanceylance:** yes

 **allurable:** I WANNA HEAR ABOUT ARUS

 **allurable:** lololololol even tho i already graduated

 **takashmeoutside:** a lot changed since we went actually

 **allurable:** OHO?

 **kogayne:** there’s a barnes and noble and a huge ass research library

 **lanceylance:** there’s dunks /and/ starbucks i will never be without caffeine

 **hunkerdunker:** THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD RESTAURANTS IN THE STUDENT CENTER WITH QUALITY FOOD I DON’T HAVE TO CRY ABOUT SHITTY SCHOOL LUNCH EVER AGAIN

 **shayfromstatefarm:** artsy stuff is included in some of their ~engineering~ labs like sewing stuff sO I CAN KEEP DOING DESIGN STUFF ON THE SIDE

 **shayfromstatefarm:** plus i think???? there’s a sewing club??????? i dunno we didn’t look around the *entire* fair going on in the gym but!!! I’M EXCITED

 **kogayne:** AND THERE ARE SO MANY PLACES TO GET LOST

 **takashmeoutside:** keith is excited about cryptids

 **allurable:** naturally

 **allurable:** did u guys pay attention to anything academic orrrr

 **shayfromstatefarm:** currently trying to figure out how to get onto the school newspaper, which shouldn’t be hard with a journalism major

 **allurable:** nice!!!!!

 **kogayne:** also if u didn’t look at the photos lance sent we all bought matchy sweatshirts

 **kogayne:** we managed to find them in four different colors but with the same design

 _(8) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** chem squad → physics squad → ARUS SQUAD

 **allurable:** should i even be surprised keith got the black one

 **shayfromstatefarm:** are any of us

 **allurable:** hunk is rockin that gold tho!!

 **hunkerdunker:** yeah but shay???? in turquoise????? ummmm GODDESS

 **lanceylance:** is no one going to hype me in the gray one

 **kogayne:** i was typing out a text but i had to erase it because you got impatient

 **lanceylance:** FUCK

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** so i just looked at the due date for thace’s assignment

 **lanceylance:** bc yknow i was gonna start

 **kogayne:** at 11 PM?

 **lanceylance:** be grateful it’s not 1

 **hunkerdunker:** he’s got a point

 **lanceylance:** it’s not due till tuesday and i completely forgot

 **shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT

 **hunkerdunker:** wait what

 **hunkerdunker:** you’re not bullshitting us are you

 **lanceylance:** why would i bullshit this late in the year

 **lanceylance:** there’s no point in sabotage anymore

 **lanceylance:** but anyway no i am not

 _(1) photo from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** bless now i don’t need to do it till tomorrow

 **lanceylance:** YOU DIDN’T START EITHER

 **kogayne:** ...anyway

 **lanceylance:** wrthytrwefgb KEITH

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i didn’t start either for the record

 **lanceylance:** HUNK

 **lanceylance:** ARE YOU BETTER THAN ALL OF US

 **hunkerdunker:** not this time dude

 **hunkerdunker:** anyway this means calc is the only thing due tomorrow

 **hunkerdunker:** so since out of this group keith and i are best at calc, we’ll finish the ap practice problems

 **kogayne:** okay

 **hunkerdunker:** lance, shay, do the multiple choice packet

 **lanceylance:** bet

 **hunkerdunker:** we all send answers when we’re done so we can compare

 **shayfromstatefarm:** SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN LET’S GO

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** okay like i know you’re supposed to be doing math right now but i got thinking

 **kogayne:** like

 **kogayne:** on the college visit when they were talking about making your own future n all that inspirational shit

 **lanceylance:** mm?

 **kogayne:** and i was thinking about my mom again

 **kogayne:** and i realized i don’t care anymore about what she thinks of me

 **kogayne:** i don’t care what she thinks about my life or who i love or what i like to do because she was never here to shape it and she can’t control me

 **kogayne:** and i realized i don’t /care/ if she’s homophobic or racist or sexist or WHATEVER because if she is then FUCK HER she’s not allowed in my life

 **kogayne:** it’s my future and she’s not allowed to touch it when i’ve come this far

 **kogayne:** she’s not allowed to pass judgment on ANYTHING that she wasn’t here to help shape

 **lanceylance:** good for you babe!!!! I SUPPORT YOU 100%

 **kogayne:** promise me right now if i go back on this you remind me of this moment

 **lanceylance:** i gotchu

 **kogayne:** aaaaaaaa that felt good to get off my chest okay carry on with calc

 **lanceylance:** :) i love youuuu

 **kogayne:** <3 i love you too

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i’m done

 **lanceylance:** almost there

 **kogayne:** ^^^

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve got one problem left

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** done

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**kogayne:** finished

 **hunkerdunker:** lance how many u got left

 **lanceylance:** mmmm one

 **lanceylance:** lemme wrap

 **lanceylance:** ah there we go

 **hunkerdunker:** EVERYONE PHOTOS IN 3 2 1

 **hunkerdunker:** GO

 _(2) photos from_ **_hunkerdunker_ **

_(2) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

_(2) photos from_ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

_(2) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**hunkerdunker:** well everything looks to be in order

 **lanceylance:** good job everyone

 **lanceylance:** good night i will see you bright and early in hell

 **shayfromstatefarm:** night!!

 **hunkerdunker:** sleep tight guys

 **kogayne:** time to knock tf out i’m exhausted

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** pssst before u go

 **lanceylance:** can i come over and like, sleep over

 **lanceylance:** i miss ur face

 **lanceylance:** also the weather is supposed to be atrocious driving is going to be a bitch tomorrow and i feel safer bein with u

 **kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **kogayne:** yeah come on over

 **kogayne:** u on call tomorrow?

 **lanceylance:** nope we’ve got the afternoon for us

 **kogayne:** :)

 **lanceylance:** i’ll be there soon i’m just getting some stuff together

 **kogayne:** i’ll leave the front unlocked

 **lanceylance:** ily starlight

 **kogayne:** ily2 starboy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on the college visit i was talking to a woman about getting involved with creative writing and she was explaining how the student-run magazines worked and i had to hold back from telling her i edit a student-run magazine
> 
> oh whale
> 
> ANYWAY catch y'all whenever the next one is
> 
> ICYMI: [i made a vld discord!](https://discord.gg/5BXWX) we have channels for selfies, pets, noodles (yes you read that right), fanfics, art, and the pokebot! AND MORE! sometimes we swap stories about our experiences with the paranormal! come join us!


	121. it is wednesday my dudes (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an update on pidge's situation; lance is done with everyone's shit; more klance bc the author lives for their softness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll just talk in the end note have fun kids

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** SO

**kogayne:** oh boy what’s going on today

**kogayne:** WAIT IS THIS ABOUT

**carrierpidgeon:** YEAH

**kogayne:** OH SHIT

**shayfromstatefarm:** explain pls

**shayfromstatefarm:** WAIT

**shayfromstatefarm:** THE THING

**carrierpidgeon:** YEAH

**takashmeoutside:** it’s too early to play this game can you just say what’s going on so i know whether or not the holts or i’m getting a call from the school later

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE AN UPDATE ON THE SECRET ADMIRER SITUATION

**carrierpidgeon:** NAMELY

**carrierpidgeon:** A SECOND LETTER

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** I WENT TO MY LOCKER THIS MORNING AND ???????

_ (2) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** DUDE

**carrierpidgeon:** DUDE

**lanceylance:** omfg

**shayfromstatefarm:** SO LIKE??????

**carrierpidgeon:** I HAVE TO FRIDAY TO FIGURE THIS OUT BEFORE I GET ANOTHER LETTER

**carrierpidgeon:** WHOEVER THIS IS SHE IS PLAYING UP TO MY LOVE OF PROBLEM SOLVING

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA????????????

**kogayne:** that is

**kogayne:** actually goals

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT AT THE SAME TIME I JUST WANNA KNOW ALREADY

**kogayne:** welp

**kogayne:** better put that brain to use

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ve been watching a lot of people write in my classes and i’m still no closer to figuring it out i am going to throw myself out a window it is WEDNESDAY I AM A SHAM

**lanceylance:** it is wednesday my dudes

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** that’s the spirit!

**carrierpidgeon:** i wanna just figure this OUT already

**kogayne:** i’d say pay attention to pen color but it doesn’t matter bc black ink is like,,, standard

**hunkerdunker:** rip

**hunkerdunker:** is there any clue in there that might give away who it is like

**hunkerdunker:** pattern of speech

**hunkerdunker:** phrases only they use

**carrierpidgeon:** you’re telling me

**carrierpidgeon:** i have to analyze

**carrierpidgeon:** LANGUAGE

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** I CAN ANALYZE LAB DATA NOT SPEECH

**kogayne:** think of this as no more than an experiment

**lanceylance:** if you write it down it automatically becomes science

**kogayne:** this is just an analysis 

**kogayne:** criminal scientists do this shit all the time

**shayfromstatefarm:** just start paying attention to how people talk and see if it matches the letter

**lanceylance:** that’s gel ink and not ballpoint ink btw

**lanceylance:** look for gel pen users

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**carrierpidgeon:** how have i not noticed any of this before

**lanceylance:** i dunno man

**lanceylance:** pay attention in each of your classes and find out who uses a gel pen

**shayfromstatefarm:** if you could narrow it down to a specific class it would be really helpful instead of spending like, 7 periods staring at people’s pens

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA well 

**carrierpidgeon:** chem’s already almost over so a wasted opportunity

**carrierpidgeon:** and i have gym next period so uhhh that won’t work

**carrierpidgeon:** guess i’ll see 3rd

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** you got this pidge you gOT THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** why is my secret admirer like this

**carrierpidgeon:** literally why

**carrierpidgeon:** why do i even have a secret admirer like,,,, 

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m not what the kids call “lit”

**kogayne:** bc ur smart and ur funny and ur witty and ur probably the most competent person in that class??

**carrierpidgeon:** u sit on a throne of lies

**kogayne:** don’t meme at me

**lanceylance:** that’s my job smh

**carrierpidgeon:** lance we’re the fUCKING MEME TEAM

**lanceylance:** o shit u right

**kogayne:** anyway stop putting urself down or i’ll come to ur class and kick ur ass

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**lanceylance:** ^^^^!!!!!!!

**lanceylance:** ur sO COOL like i dunno many sixteen year olds with the technological skill u do or the talent for math that u have or the passion u have for robots like??? DUDE

**shayfromstatefarm:** ur also a lot wiser than most of ur peers

**carrierpidgeon:** sTOP STOP STOP STOP

**hunkerdunker:** PIDGE HOLT IS AWESOME PASS IT ON

**lanceylance:** PIDGE HOLT IS AWESOME PASS IT ON

**mattata:** MY SISTER KATIE IS AWESOME PASS IT ON

**kogayne:** MY BFF PIDGE IS AWESOME PASS IT ON

**shayfromstatefarm:** PIDGE HOLT IS AWESOME PASS IT ON

**takashmeoutside:** PIDGE HOLT IS AWESOME PASS IT ON

**allurable:** PIDGE HOLT IS AWESOME PASS IT ON

**carrierpidgeon:** I DON’T DESERVE THIS

**hunkerdunker:** SHUT UP YES YOU DO

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAA?????

**lanceylance:** pidge how many times are you gonna scream today

**carrierpidgeon:** AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES

**kogayne:** for what

**carrierpidgeon:** FOR THE AFFECTION TO STOP

**lanceylance:** Never

**carrierpidgeon:** [inhale]

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**kogayne:** AND ANOTHER THING

**carrierpidgeon:** DON’T EVEN

**kogayne:** no shh this is investigation advice

**carrierpidgeon:** oh

**carrierpidgeon:** PROCEED

**kogayne:** take note of anyone who might be looking at u more than usual

**kogayne:** that should be an obvious one but just

**kogayne:** eyes peeled

**shayfromstatefarm:** just be wary of awkward eye contact

**carrierpidgeon:** so avoid lance’s entire existence

**lanceylance:** WAS THAT NECESSARY

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**lanceylance:** w o w

**hunkerdunker:** shh she’s trying to get u to stop complimenting her

**lanceylance:** PIDGE IS THE NICEST BRIDGE TROLL I’VE EVER MET

**carrierpidgeon:** fregnrgwfbgdf KEITH MAKE HIM STOP

**kogayne:** not in class with him rn sorryyyyy

**carrierpidgeon:** traitor

**kogayne:** sorry i didn’t feel like sitting through another year of spanish

**kogayne:** smh i should’ve tho

**lanceylance:** lmao i shouldn’t have i just wanted easy ap credit

**hunkerdunker:** smart tbh

**lanceylance:** it’s okay tho keith i can tutor u ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** /why must you do these things in the group chat/

**lanceylance:** EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW I LOVE HIM AND IF YOU WON’T ACCEPT MY AFFECTION I’LL THROW IT AT SOMEONE ELSE

**kogayne:** also i love his affection pls give me more

**carrierpidgeon:** TEXT EACH OTHER MY EYES WILL NOT BE SUBJECTED TO THIS MUSH WHILE I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVING A CRISIS GOSH DARN IT

**lanceylance:** WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE

**takashmeoutside:** wh

**takashmeoutside:** are you for real

**lanceylance:** no i’m virtual

**hunkerdunker:** so ur being produced thru a diverging lens then

**shayfromstatefarm:** HEATHENS WE ARE NOT BRINGING PHYSICS INTO THIS

**lanceylance:** AM I INVERTED OR UPRIGHT

**shayfromstatefarm:** I WILL KILL U NEXT PERIOD

**hunkerdunker:** I DUNNO ARE U BEHIND THE SECOND FOCAL POINT OR IN FRONT OF IT IN FRONT OF THE FIRST FOCAL POINT

**shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** typically lance is the one shrieking about getting rid of physics i cannot believe,

**lanceylance:** i am learning to love the science i am going to need to succeed in my major

**mattata:** that’s fair

**lanceylance:** i’m just excited we’re getting into modern physics after our lenses and mirrors test

**lanceylance:** like really excited

**lanceylance:** bc u know what half of modern science basically is

**lanceylance:** S P A C E  S C I E N C E

**kogayne:** ur very passionate about space

**lanceylance:** yeah and so are you

[ _ (1) link _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jItnCGRsMjw) _ from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** do u guys sing this every time u walk into astronomy

**lanceylance:** NO BUT WE SHOULD

**kogayne:** LET’S DO IT

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge why would you do that

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** LOL HEY GUYS I HAVE NEWS ON ADS

**lanceylance:** did we get ad prices reduced

**lanceylance:** or did the office laugh in ur face

**dinezor:** pls don’t tell me they jacked up our minimum

**madplax:** i have /good/ news, actually

**lotoreal:** good news? out of this administration?

**madplax:** YEAH

**dinezor:** I’M INTRIGUED

**madplax:** so, number one:

**shayfromstatefarm:** why must u break up the texts

**madplax:** increases suspense shhh

**madplax:** NUMBER ONE

**madplax:** ad prices have, in fact, been reduced

**madplax:** i think most prices have been cut by half?

**madplax:** blurbs are 10, half page is 25, full page is 50

**lanceylance:** that’s fucking magical now i don’t need to go broke to embarrass keith

**kogayne:** /I/ WAS EMBARRASSING /YOU/

**lanceylance:** just you wait

**dinezor:** JUST YOUUUU WAAAAAAAAAAIT

**madplax:** WE’RE NOT DOING THIS

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT’S YOUR NAME MAN

**lanceylance:** A L E X A N D E R  H A M I L T O N

**madplax:** i hate everyone

**lanceylance:** IIIIIIIIIIII HAAAATE EVERYONE

**madplax:** WTF THAT’S A SONG TOO

**lanceylance:** >:3

**carrierpidgeon:** furry alert

**lanceylance:** eghtngterfgbf SHUT UP PIDGE

**madplax:** ANYWAY NUMBER TWO

**madplax:** not only did they /reduce/ the minimum amount of ads we need to sell,

**lanceylance:** /they fucking what/

**madplax:** THEY ELIMINATED THE MUST-SELL-ADS THING ENTIRELY

**madplax:** ADS AREN’T MANDATORY THIS YEAR

**lanceylance:** FUCKING BLESS

**hunkerdunker:** a moment of silence for every kid who wanted to audition but decided not to because they thought they’d need to sell their left foot to meet the ad goal

**lanceylance:** why is it the left foot

**hunkerdunker:** does it /matter/

**lanceylance:** no it doesn’t matter so why did you specify

**hunkerdunker:** /lance/

**madplax:** a moment of silence for lance

**lanceylance:** whAT WHY

**madplax:** i am two seconds away from removing you from this group chat

**lanceylance:** FIGHT ME

**madplax:** we’re staging kiss the girl today i will flip the boat on your ass

**lanceylance:** mhm yeah do that and let flotsam and jetsam take u away

**shayfromstatefarm:** the greatest irony of kiss the girl is that the kiss never actually happens

**lanceylance:** /good/

**madplax:** >:P

**madplax:** u got somethin against me mcclain

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nah but i think /u/ have something against /me/

**acxalutelynot:** i can smell the sexual tension from here

**lanceylance:** [turns head 180 degrees like an owl] excuse me

**carrierpidgeon:** ohhhhh now you fucked up

**shayfromstatefarm:** NOW YOU FUCKED UP

**hunkerdunker:** NOW YOU FUCKED UP

**kogayne:** [casually polishing knife] did i hear that correctly

**acxalutelynot:** ...welp

**dinezor:** rehtnrtegbefw this is funny to me tbh

**acxalutelynot:** sorry, sorry

**acxalutelynot:** /unresolved/ sexual tension

**lanceylance:** mmm you bett— what the /fuck/

**madplax:** hey acxa

**acxalutelynot:** yes

**madplax:** choke

**dinezor:** ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**acxalutelynot:** EZ

**dinezor:** :P

**madplax:** lance and i never had sexual tension to /begin with/

**carrierpidgeon:** ROASTED

**lanceylance:** well /who was responsible for that/

**madplax:** [looks u up and down] the answer should be obvious

**lanceylance:** >:O

**zethridofmyproblems:** do you ever open a group chat and have regrets

**lotoreal:** [long sigh] join the party.

**lanceylance:** [climbs up on top of a table] [cups hands around my mouth] I’M A LOYAL HOE AND THE ONLY PfvERSON I HAVE SEXUAL TENSION WITH IS KEITH MAKE ANOTHER JOKE AGAIN AND I’LL FIGHT YOU THANKS

**lanceylance:** [gets off table]

**carrierpidgeon:** keith care to add to that

**kogayne:** no i think he summed it up 

**dinezor:** how did he manage to misspell person like that

**madplax:** well,

**lanceylance:** boi

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**lanceylance:** why did little shit lance have to gain a reputation as a flirt

**lanceylance:** i wanna go back and punch little me

**kogayne:** thanks ur finally seeing my pov glad to know I Was Right

**lanceylance:** retrewfgtf shut up keith :P

**kogayne:** ;)

**lanceylance:** glad u stuck around

**kogayne:** i can say the same about you

**kogayne:** don’t let it get to u

**lanceylance:** mmm i just

**lanceylance:** really wish that reputation would just fucking die already

**kogayne:** it will

**lanceylance:** highkey looking forward to college just so i can like

**lanceylance:** start mostly fresh

**lanceylance:** no one at college will remember me from elementary and middle school 

**lanceylance:** or even high school

**lanceylance:** i can be myself without people bringing up stuff i don’t want brought up

**kogayne:** babe

**kogayne:** /tell them straight up/

**kogayne:** if u don’t wanna do it i’ll do it

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaa no i don’t wanna like

**lanceylance:** come off as pushy

**lanceylance:** or obsessed with my image it’s not that big a deal,,,

**kogayne:** [raises eyebrows]

**lanceylance:** hnnn

**kogayne:** it’s a big deal to u

**kogayne:** don’t let urself be uncomfy to let other people stay comfy

**lanceylance:** “uncomfy” who even are u this is far too cute to be u

**kogayne:** nope it’s me

**lanceylance:** <3333

**lanceylance:** aaaa i

**lanceylance:** mm

**lanceylance:** i’ll say something if it happens again

**kogayne:** promise?

**lanceylance:** i promise

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**takashmeoutside:** someone just came into target in a spidey suit and swim goggles

**takashmeoutside:** walked into the bathroom

**takashmeoutside:** and recreated the it is wednesday my dudes vine

**takashmeoutside:** and i only know this bc he was obnoxiously loud about it

**allurable:** amazing

**mattata:** still not better than the time when a group of guys tried to create the ghost in the stalls video

**mattata:** “it’s a monday”

**mattata:** i was fortunate enough to be the employee they came up to to explain about how someone left their pants and you bet your ass i ran with it

**mattata:** they started screaming

**carrierpidgeon:** everyone shut up i have news

**kogayne:** more news?

**carrierpidgeon:** remember that asshole in my precalc class who threatened to expose my crush on sherrie

**kogayne:** [cracks knuckles]

**kogayne:** MHM.

**carrierpidgeon:** he apparently knows who’s writing them and the sus levels shot up like 50 percent

**kogayne:** /why is he still in your business/

**carrierpidgeon:** still bitter about his grade dropping

**carrierpidgeon:** he apparently got grounded, got car privileges suspended, and couldn’t leave the house for like, two weeks except to go to school

**kogayne:** serves his ass right

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway he never exposed my crush bc he’s a fucking weenie

**lanceylance:** well i think he also knew that

**lanceylance:** if he tried shit

**lanceylance:** he’d have at least four seniors on his ass

**carrierpidgeon:** that too

**carrierpidgeon:** welp anyway now he’s holding the fact that he knows over my head

**carrierpidgeon:** i couldn’t see if anyone was looking at us or eavesdropping on our convo

**carrierpidgeon:** so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ STILL NO CLOSER TO FIGURING THIS OUT

**carrierpidgeon:** alrighty carry on

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** u gonna be comf when u start staging

**lanceylance:** yeah i guess

**lanceylance:** im mostly?? over it by now

**kogayne:** just pretend that’s me up there with u

**lanceylance:** kinda hard when i know ur sitting in the back of the auditorium being cute

**kogayne:** wtf do u mean being cute i’m literally here with my headphones on

**lanceylance:** ur cute no matter what u do sorry i don’t make the rules

**kogayne:** xmdjdjdjdjcksk u can’t do this

**lanceylance:** um? i can tho? i just did?

**kogayne:** stop this at once

**lanceylance:** are u flustered

**kogayne:** i dunno u come back here and tell me

**kogayne:** wAIT WAIT WAIT NO

**lanceylance:** ;)

**kogayne:** smh

**kogayne:** go get ur butt on stage prince eric

**lanceylance:** can’t believe ur tryna get rid of me so easily where is ur sense of loyalty

**kogayne:** :O i am SO loyal 

**lanceylance:** fkfividjwhwn 

**lanceylance:** i love uuuu

**kogayne:** love u too now stop texting before the director kicks ur ass

**lanceylance:** <3

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** daily reminder that i love lance

**takashmeoutside:** keith /why/

**kogayne:** well the drama club chat said some stuff that got him anxious and i want to protect him from the universe but also he spent like five straight minutes texting me from across the auditorium when he was supposed to be on stage and???

**kogayne:** get u a loyal hoe like him

**takashmeoutside:** i have two their names are sleep and caffeine

**kogayne:** wow i really thought u were gonna say matt and allura

**takashmeoutside:** oh right

**takashmeoutside:** them too i guess

**kogayne:** “i guess”

**takashmeoutside:** u live ur life and i’ll live mine

**kogayne:** okay then

**kogayne:** also if it’s cool with lance i thiiiiink im gonna spend the night at his place 

**takashmeoutside:** fine w me

**takashmeoutside:** everything okay with you?

**kogayne:** yeah i just wanna be with him and make sure he stays okay

**takashmeoutside:** works for me

**takashmeoutside:** let me know what you decide

**kogayne:** will do

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** yeah i’ll definitely be at his

**takashmeoutside:** alright have fun stay safe

**kogayne:** will do

**kogayne:** no matter what happens i think both of us are at ours friday

**takashmeoutside:** gotcha

**kogayne:** see u tomorrow then

**takashmeoutside:** see u then 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol last night i felt really sick out of nowhere and today i think i've been slightly dizzy but i'm not even sure
> 
> i have homework i should probably do lol bye see ya in the next chapter


	122. keith won't shut up about mothman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buzzfeed unsolved comes back; hp vs pjo; klance; buzzfeed unsolved: pidge's love life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hp vs pjo discussion brought to you by a debate from our discord
> 
> i don't know why the last discord link wasn't working, because i definitely set it to never expire, but anyway, [here's the discord link](https://discord.gg/5XEQTbZ)
> 
> and here's the next chapter

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**kogayne:** Y’ALL

 **kogayne:** Y’AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL

 **takashmeoutside:** is this necessary

 **takashmeoutside:** aren’t you in class

 **kogayne:** WE’RE NOT DOING SHIT IN ANTOK’S CLASS RIGHT

 **lanceylance:** guys he’s so excited about this he’s like a puppy

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m sorry what’s happening?

 **kogayne:** SO I GOT BORED

 **kogayne:** AND DECIDED TO CHECK THE BUZZFEED UNSOLVED FACEBOOK PAGE TO SEE WHAT TONIGHT’S EPISODE IS

 **carrierpidgeon:** the boys are back on 4/20 hahaha blaze it my guys!!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** pidge

 **carrierpidgeon:** yes

 **shayfromstatefarm:** no

 **carrierpidgeon:** wrhtnnerfwd

 **kogayne:** GUYS SHUT UP I HAVE!!! SOMETHING TO SAY!!!

 **allurable:** yes keith what’s tonight’s episode

 **mattata:** based on his enthusiasm levels i’d say mothman

 **kogayne:** IT;S FCUKGUN MOTHMANS

 **carrierpidgeon:** mothmans

 **shayfromstatefarm:** keith go get ur mothmans

 **kogayne:** I FUCKING LOVE MOTHMAN ALRIGHT

 **lanceylance:** one time he was talking in his sleep and i heard him dump me for mothman

 **kogayne:** WAIT REALLY

 **kogayne:** I DON’T REMEMBER THAT

 **lanceylance:** yeah u don’t remember it bc i made it up but lbr it would totally happen

 **kogayne:** i mean,,, /mothman/

 **allurable:** i’m glad to see that /this/ is what’s happening on a friday morning

 **mattata:** ??? as opposed to

 **allurable:** don’t you remember september

 **mattata:** isn’t that a song

 **kogayne:** no that’s wake me up when september ends

 **lanceylance:** remember the alamo

 **shayfromstatefarm:** remember the titans

 **hunkerdunker:** TEEN TITANS

 **takashmeoutside:** [long sigh]

 **kogayne:** shiro as cyborg

 **takashmeoutside:** WE’RE NOT FANCASTING TEEN TITANS THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING

 **kogayne:** okay fine then let’s go back to talking about mothman

 **takashmeoutside:** or,

 **takashmeoutside:** and this is a /great/ concept

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m sorry hold on i read that in drumpf’s voice and i can’t take it seriously anymore

 **takashmeoutside:** why are you children like this

 **mattata:** i’m not a /child/

 **shayfromstatefarm:** BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

 **lanceylance:** BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

 **hunkerdunker:** BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

 **takashmeoutside:** i had a heart attack for a minute and then i understood

 **carrierpidgeon:** smh who opened the auditorium door, that thing was supposed to be deadbolted to keep them in

 **kogayne:** besides we already established matt is the only person here with a daddy kink

 **mattata:** WELL,

 **kogayne:** you know what Never Mind

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME BACK TO BUZZFEED UNSOLVED: PIDGE’S LOVE LIFE

 **carrierpidgeon:** TODAY WE’LL BE CONTINUING OUR ONGOING INVESTIGATION INTO THE QUESTION

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHO THE FUCK LIKES PIDGE

 **shayfromstatefarm:** DID YOU GET THE NEXT LETTER

 _(2) photos from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S WRITTEN IN FUCKING LATIN I NEVER TOOK LATIN

 **kogayne:** ...that narrows it though, doesn’t it?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** pls they don’t teach that level of writing skill in high school latin

 **shayfromstatefarm:** /but/ it would more than likely be a latin student bc they have the basis to go into google translate and then double check translations

 **lanceylance:** or...like...ask the latin teacher for help

 **hunkerdunker:** or, you know, this could have all just been put through google translate so when you translate it back half of it doesn’t make sense because nothing is conjugated or declined correctly

 **allurable:** mmmm or they could have googled an ancient curse and now you’re doomed for all eternity

 **mattata:** dude latin curse tablets were no joke

 **mattata:** if u looked at someone wrong someone could literally write a curse tablet and make a sacrifice to the gods and have been like “smite this motherfucker for me k thanks”

 **takashmeoutside:** is that the only reason you stuck with latin throughout high school

 **mattata:** no way man i did it for the sat prep

 **mattata:** the mythology was a big plus tho

 **takashmeoutside:** nerd

 **mattata:** shut up kashi you’re one to talk

 **allurable:** ooooh i have discourse i can start

 **carrierpidgeon:** but discourse is MY JOB  >:O

 **allurable:** okay but anyway i have discourse

 **allurable:** we’ve had hogwarts house discourse

 **allurable:** and we’ve had godly parent discourse

 **carrierpidgeon:** oh no i already see where this is going and i’ve nearly killed matt over this

 **mattata:** ALLURA NO

 **allurable:** WHICH IS THE BETTER SERIES: HARRY POTTER OR PERCY JACKSON

 **kogayne:** allura why would you do this

 **kogayne:** why would you pit two greats against each other

 **takashmeoutside:** methinks keith has an opinion he doesn’t wanna share bc he’ll get murdered for it

 **lanceylance:** keith,,,

 **kogayne:** oh NOOOO

 **allurable:** SPEAK UP COWARDS

 **allurable:** HERE I’LL GO FIRST: HARRY POTTER

 **mattata:** hahahahahaha no

 **allurable:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO

 **mattata:** i love perseus jackson

 **kogayne:** O.O

 **carrierpidgeon:** fucking heathen i almost threw a chair at him for that

 **carrierpidgeon:** harry potter is obviously the way to go for this

 **kogayne:** ,,, personallyi’mapercyjacksonfanbye

 **lanceylance:** ...shit i am too

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHAT

 **kogayne:** :O WHAT

 **lanceylance:** heroes of olympus sold me i fucking love leo

 **takashmeoutside:** smh

 **shayfromstatefarm:** so you’re a harry potter fan?

 **takashmeoutside:** yes

 **shayfromstatefarm:** mmmm idk where i sit

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i think i like pjo better tbh

 **hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^^ HONESTLY

 **allurable:** wOW

 **lanceylance:** hmmm...i sense a generational divide

 **hunkerdunker:** DON’T GET ME WRONG I LOVE HARRY POTTER BUT LIKE???

 **hunkerdunker:** pjo and hoo had the more fun cast THERE I SAID IT

 **lanceylance:** andmorediversebutyoudidn’thearitfromme

 **carrierpidgeon:** i am FLOORED i thought FOR SURE keith would prefer harry potter

 **kogayne:** harry may also be a black-haired orphan who went to live with his aunt and uncle but i have a very soft spot for percy LET ME BE

 **kogayne:** HE WENT THROUGH A LOT

 **lanceylance:** SPEAKING OF PERCY JACKSON HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL CAST RECORDING

 **kogayne:** wh

 **kogayne:** THERE’S A MUSICAL

 **lanceylance:** YES???

 **lanceylance:** GO LISTEN TO GOOD KID

 **lanceylance:** I CRY EVERY SINGLE TIME

 **allurable:** HOLD ON I’M CURIOUS AS TO WHY EVERYONE PREFERS WHAT THEY PREFER

 **carrierpidgeon:** HOLD YOUR HOLD WE’RE NOT DONE WITH MY CRISIS

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THIS, CAN SOMEONE TRANSLATE THIS

 **mattata:** i can do it

 **mattata:** my own knowledge plus the power of google should be helpful

 **kogayne:** smh i wish i’d taken latin

 **kogayne:** i could’ve doubled up on a language

 **kogayne:** then i could have a basis in like,,, four

 **hunkerdunker:** FOUR?

 **kogayne:** i took spanish plus lance never shuts up

 **lanceylance:** u love me shut your fuck

 **kogayne:** english obviously

 **kogayne:** japanese

 **shayfromstatefarm:** really now

 **kogayne:** ye

 **kogayne:** shiro’s fluent

 **takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** i would’ve learned korean if my mom didn’t

 **kogayne:** yknow

 **kogayne:** LEAVE

 **kogayne:** but then i would have also had a latin basis

 **shayfromstatefarm:** that’s a lot of languages

 **kogayne:** i wish i knew them all

 **kogayne:** do you know how much knowing 5 languages would help

 **kogayne:** not only in life but like, criminal investigations

 **carrierpidgeon:** or investigations into ancient curses

 **kogayne:** yeah

 **lanceylance:** if u keep hanging around my family you’ll be fluent in spanish in no time

 **kogayne:** i’m seriously about to take up that offer

 **lanceylance:** /then why not just do it/

 **kogayne:** bye shiro i’ll be back home in like three years

 **takashmeoutside:** smh

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** so how’s the investigation going

 **kogayne:** find anything new the last couple periods

 **carrierpidgeon:** NOPE

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’ve gotta find out from emily who’s in latin with her

 **carrierpidgeon:** that is also in other classes with us

 **kogayne:** what if it’s emily

 **carrierpidgeon:** wh

 **kogayne:** her sister is in my physics class

 **kogayne:** i can tryyyy and get some information out of her?

 **carrierpidgeon:** PLEASE I’M DYING WHAT IF IT IS EMILY

 **kogayne:** do u like her

 **kogayne:** not even like, romantically or whatever

 **kogayne:** do u like her as a friend

 **carrierpidgeon:** I GUESS?? WE DON’T DO A /TON/ OF TALKING

 **carrierpidgeon:** YKNOW WHAT UNTIL IT’S CONFIRMED I’M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING I DON’T EVEN THINK SHE LIKES GIRLS

 **kogayne:** listen, this could be love, simon,

 **kogayne:** anyone could be closeted, you never know

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **carrierpidgeon:** PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS

 **kogayne:** breathe pidgeotto

 **kogayne:** i gotchu

 **carrierpidgeon:** hhhh thanks keith

 **kogayne:** any time

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**kogayne:** i have a lot of energy today what the fuck is happening

 **kogayne:** i do not understand

 **allurable:** is your boyfriend rubbing off on you again

 **kogayne:** probably

 **kogayne:** it’s friday and we’re doing nothing in every class except physics

 **kogayne:** bc hira decided we needed to have a test today

 **kogayne:** and i should be using this time to study

 **kogayne:** but i’m not

 **lanceylance:** does anyone remember diffraction stuff uhhhh

 **hunkerdunker:** lmao no

 **hunkerdunker:** lunch is lookin to be one big study circle

 **shayfromstatefarm:** why is this test covering things from 500 years ago

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i have literally no memories of diffraction

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i barely have memories of the new stuff

 **lanceylance:** we’re all gonna dieeeee

 **lanceylance:** finally

 **kogayne:** okay No

 **takashmeoutside:** one week, please

 **takashmeoutside:** just one week without one of you wishing for death

 **lanceylance:** can’t stop won’t stop

 **kogayne:** No

 **kogayne:** no we’re having a good day and not even hira can drag us down because FOURTH QUARTER DOESN’T MATTER

 **hunkerdunker:** maybe not in terms of class rank but colleges can revoke our admissions decision and our scholarships if we completely drop our grades so uhhhhh imma still try

 **hunkerdunker:** i still wanna see that sweet sweet “first honors” in powerschool at the end of the quarter

 **lanceylance:** hunketh has a pointeth

 **kogayne:** okay he’s right but don’t sWEAT IT

 **lanceylance:** boi

 **kogayne:** fuck fterwfgbgrfwe that wasn’t the right wording wELP

 **kogayne:** let me rephrase that: it is not something that should be sweated about much

 **lanceylance:** tell that to my anxiety

 **kogayne:** dear lance’s anxiety: Meet Me In The Pit

 **lanceylance:** forwarding that to /your/ anxiety

 **carrierpidgeon:** DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD THEY’RE BEING MUSHY AGAIN MAKE THEM STOP

 **mattata:** get back to class u heathen children

 **mattata:** back to class or perish

 _(1) photo from_ **_mattata_ **

**lanceylance:** guess i’ll die then

 _(1) photo from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** no, no dying

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** are these shenanigans or something else

 **lanceylance:** shenanigans mostly

 **kogayne:** what do u mean mostly

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lanceylance:** im okay right now tho, i swear

 **kogayne:** and you’re sure

 **lanceylance:** yeah

 **lanceylance:** thanks tho <33333 ur bein so cute today

 **kogayne:** i only do it so i can be called cute so glad to know it’s working

 **lanceylance:** keith,,,

 **kogayne:** lance,,,

 **lanceylance:** that’s even cuter what the fuck

 **lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmmmm i miss you now

 **kogayne:** smh so clingy

 **lanceylance:** boi ur just as clingy

 **lanceylance:** don’t act like ur not

 **kogayne:** i never said i wasn’t

 **lanceylance:** mmm

 **kogayne:** u have rehearsal today right

 **lanceylance:** yes indeed i do

 **lanceylance:** u stayin, leavin,,,

 **kogayne:** since when have i willingly left while u were at rehearsal

 **kogayne:** u look so alive when ur on stage of course i’m staying

 **kogayne:** uhhh plus when you’re not on stage we can cuddle????? or like, leave together when you’re done???

 **kogayne:** it’s nice out i wanna do something after rehearsal

 **lanceylance:** what did you have in mind

 **kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ can be up to you if you want

 **kogayne:** i just wanna spend time with you

 **lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **lanceylance:** dhcidjsnejwkcjsjwj OMFG

 **kogayne:** what

 **lanceylance:** thace just asked me what i was smiling at

 **lanceylance:** HELP

 _(4) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** do selfies constitute help

 **lanceylance:** CFUEIENDNWNWN YOU MADE IT WORSE

 **kogayne:** :)

 **lanceylance:** U ASS

 **kogayne:** :))))

 **lanceylance:** why are u like this

 **kogayne:** u love when i’m like this

 **lanceylance:** i love u all the time tho

 **kogayne:** WELP

 **kogayne:** see u soon

 **lanceylance:** study hall snuggles?

 **kogayne:** u bet ur ass

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** I’M GONNA GUSH ABOUT LANCE AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME

 **takashmeoutside:** keith i swear i will block this number

 **kogayne:** you can’t do that bc then i’ll start taking other people’s phones and text you from them and then you won’t have any friends left bc i’ll have claimed them all

 **takashmeoutside:** why

 **takashmeoutside:** w h y

 **kogayne:** OKAY SO WE’RE AT REHEARSAL RIGHT

 **takashmeoutside:** YOU’RE NOT EVEN IN THE SHOW

 **kogayne:** okay but crew /actually/ had a meeting today but ANYWAY

 **kogayne:** lance was doing staging with plax right

 **kogayne:** and they have to learn this like, ballroom dance sort of thing

 **kogayne:** aND LANCE COMES UP TO ME

 **kogayne:** AND HE’S LIKE “LEARN PLAX’S PART SO YOU CAN HELP ME REHEARSE THIS” AND I’M????

 **takashmeoutside:** he broke u

 **kogayne:** HE BROKE ME

 **kogayne:** HE’S??? SO?????? GOOD??????????

 **takashmeoutside:** why do you feel the need to tell me these things

 **kogayne:** so you know the reason that i won’t stop smiling when i’m just chillin around the house

 **takashmeoutside:** whipped

 **kogayne:** HE MAKES ME HAPPY

 **kogayne:** AND I LIKE TO THINK I MAKE HIM HAPPY

 **takashmeoutside:** oh don’t worry, you do

 **takashmeoutside:** sometimes he texts me to ask how you are and the next thing you know he fucking gushes too

 **kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **takashmeoutside:** KEITH THIS ISN’T EVEN NEW INFORMATION

 **kogayne:** [screams higher]

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** DID YOU ASK SARAH

 **kogayne:** SHIT

 **carrierpidgeon:** KEITH

 **kogayne:** I’M SORRY WE HAD A TEST AND SHE FINISHED AND LEFT BEFORE I DID

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINISHED AND LEFT

 **kogayne:** WE RAN INTO STUDY HALL SO A LOT OF US STAYED LATE BUT SHE DIDN’T

 **carrierpidgeon:** BOI

 **kogayne:** I’M SORRY I’LL ASK ON MONDAY I PROMISE

 **kogayne:** BETTER YET LANCE PROBABLY HAS HER NUMBER BECAUSE LANCE HAS EVERYONE’S NUMBERS

 **carrierpidgeon:** SMH IT’S FINE

 **carrierpidgeon:** MATT STILL HASN’T GOTTEN BACK TO ME ON THAT TRANSLATION ANYWAY

 **kogayne:** OKAY BUT I REALLY AM SORRY

 **carrierpidgeon:** DUDE UR GOOD I HAVE UNTIL NEXT FRIDAY BEFORE I GET /ANOTHER/ LETTER

 **kogayne:** watch it be written in elvish

 **carrierpidgeon:** oh god

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**kogayne:** so lance and i are starting a kickstarter to go to the mothman festival in point pleasant in september and also so we can go hunt mothman while everyone is too busy partying

 **takashmeoutside:** did we watch the same fucking episode

 **kogayne:** yes?

 **mattata:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

 **takashmeoutside:** they

 **takashmeoutside:** RYAN WAS EVEN THE ONE WHO BROUGHT IT UP

 **takashmeoutside:** IT’S ALL JUST A TOURIST TRAP KEITH

 **takashmeoutside:** HE’S NOT REAL

 **kogayne:** TAKE IT BACK SHIRO

 **carrierpidgeon:** sorry he said tourist trap and all i can think of is gravity falls

 **lanceylance:** if gravity falls was a real place you and keith would thrive

 **kogayne:** what do you mean /if/

 **lanceylance:** it,,, it’s not,,,,,

 **kogayne:** don’t even type out the rest of what you were going to type out i can’t believe this slander

 **shayfromstatefarm:** keith it’s not real

 **kogayne:** shut UP YES IT IS

 **kogayne:** THE SHOW ITSELF SAID THE TOWN IS BASICALLY A SECRET BC NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT

 **shayfromstatefarm:** keith no it’s fiction

 **kogayne:** THAT’S WHAT THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO THINK

 **kogayne:** i’m telling you, the men in black are covering up /everything/

 **kogayne:** AND ONE DAY YOU’LL ALL SEE

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**lanceylance:** lmfao so like five minutes after his last text keith fell asleep

 **lanceylance:** that high he’s been on all day? boy fuckin pulled an all-nighter and didn’t tell us

 **hunkerdunker:** WHY

 **lanceylance:** catching up on homework

 **hunkerdunker:** we,,, we did nothing all day

 **hunkerdunker:** he could’ve very easily done it during the school day

 **lanceylance:** i should mention he slept the whole time we were in study

 **takashmeoutside:** and you told no one /why/?

 **lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lanceylance:** anyhoo i’m gonna go so we can both be up bright and early to fuck around tomorrow

 **mattata:** good night

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**mattata:** THEY’RE GONE LET’S GOSSIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [dramatic narrator voice]: _who is pidge's crush? will keith ever stop talking about mothman? will he and lance ever stop being in love? what's up with the krolia plotline? find out next time, in the next installment* of **squad up**!_
> 
> *or next several installments. or next many. let's let this play out, shall we?
> 
> [here's the discord link again just for shits and giggles](https://discord.gg/5XEQTbZ)
> 
> see y'all in the next chapter!


	123. bu: pidge's love life continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens; prom shenanigans; the krolia plot continues; ft. broganes, klance, and the cryptkids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i almost added this as the next chapter of stars go down rtrytnrtewedbefds

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i’m going to launch myself into the fucking sun

**takashmeoutside:** ???? what’s going on

**kogayne:** i got

**kogayne:** Another

**takashmeoutside:** ...from your mom?

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** “lol yeah sorry it took me two weeks to write back like i said spotty computer access sunshine and rainbows!!” -_-

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** out of the /country/?

**kogayne:** yeah like that makes tracking her down SO MUCH EASIER !!!!!!!

**kogayne:** [-_- intensifies]

**takashmeoutside:** look on the bright side

**takashmeoutside:** she won’t be back in the states until you graduate

**takashmeoutside:** so now that u have a timeframe u can put off worrying about this until after all of your school chaos is done

**kogayne:** i know but??? that’s so far i just want this mystery Solved

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna end up in the next season of butc

**takashmeoutside:** butc

**kogayne:** buzzfeed unsolved true crime??? smh fake fan

**takashmeoutside:** i have concerns as to why you would end up there

**kogayne:** the mysterious case of krolia kogane

**kogayne:** wait fuck no

**kogayne:** no she doesn’t even get kogane

**kogayne:** not even a last name

**kogayne:** krolia

**kogayne:** uhhh

**kogayne:** the crazy case of krolia

**kogayne:** I DON’T KNOW BUT POINT IS I END UP BEING INTERVIEWED BC SHE NEVER SHOWS AND SHE JUST DROPS OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH

**kogayne:** ...wait that means i potentially meet shane and ryan...nEVER MIND SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

**takashmeoutside:** why on earth are you like this

**kogayne:** bc if i don’t cope by distracting myself with my hobbies i fall apart

**takashmeoutside:** ...okay nvm

**takashmeoutside:** so are you gonna respond to the email

**kogayne:** this is worse than before

**kogayne:** this time she actually wants to /know about me/

**kogayne:** what do i even /say/

**kogayne:** like yeah uhhh what up i’m jared i’m 19 and i never fuckin learned how to read?? like?

**takashmeoutside:** lance has been a terrible influence

**kogayne:** he is the /best/ influence

**takashmeoutside:** ...anyway

**kogayne:** screenshotted

**takashmeoutside:** [monotone] oh no i’m so scared whatever will you do with those screenshots]

**kogayne:** watch ur fuckin back i know how to work photoshop

**kogayne:** aNyWaY what were you gonna say

**takashmeoutside:** i was gonna say just talk about how school is going, you know, generic things you’d tell the relative you don’t wanna talk to at parties

**takashmeoutside:** and then you won’t have to talk to her again for like two weeks probably and by then you can just lie and say prom and the musical and ap exams have you way too busy

**kogayne:** ...shit that’s actually really smart

**takashmeoutside:** duh? it’s a patented Shiro Plan

**kogayne:** alright narcissus 

**takashmeoutside:** you’re confusing me for matt

**kogayne:** no i’m not

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** dude i just got 10x more excited for college

**kogayne:** why

**lanceylance:** i joined a garrison school group on facebook

**lanceylance:** and i got like 10 people asking if i’m looking for a roommate

**kogayne:** .../why does that excite u/

**lanceylance:** because when i explain i already have a roommate i can show them ur beautiful face

**lanceylance:** and be like NAH FAM SORRY THIS IS MY ROOMMATE AND ALSO MY FUTURE HUSBAND

**kogayne:** ...did u already out me on fb

**lanceylance:** no i haven’t mentioned u yet

**lanceylance:** i didn’t wanna do it without talking to u

**kogayne:** did u out /urself/

**lanceylance:** there’s a photo of me wrapped in my pride flag from last june

**lanceylance:** and i also may or may not have introduced myself as “Lance McClain: Bi, Sly, and Hella Fly”

**kogayne:** omfg u did /not/

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** try me

**lanceylance:** also,,, don’t forget,,,,, our /relationship status has been in a relationship for almost two years/

**kogayne:** people don’t always check that

**lanceylance:** true true

**lanceylance:** anyway if u want i’ll totally just say i already have a roommate 

**kogayne:** u know ur sweet as fuck right

**lanceylance:** so i’ve heard

**kogayne:** also

**kogayne:** go ahead and post them

**lanceylance:** :DDDDDDDDD

**lanceylance:** boi ur gonna have people thirsting over u

**lanceylance:** and if there’s anyone rude i’ll kick their ass

**lanceylance:** plus i think some of the group mods are lgbtq+

**kogayne:** is it run by the university?

**lanceylance:** nah i think it’s run by like,,,, upperclassmen in the garrison school

**kogayne:** can u link me to the page

**lanceylance:** ye i gotchu

_ (1) link from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** thanks

**kogayne:** ...so what do i do, just introduce myself and throw in some photos?

**lanceylance:** basically

**kogayne:** mmmmmm second time today i’ve had to talk about myself, so much fun

**lanceylance:** ??? second?????

**kogayne:** yeah, i was gonna text u soon anyway, but u beat me to it

**kogayne:** my mom

**kogayne:** she

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** that

**lanceylance:** yike

**lanceylance:** speaking of after graduation

**kogayne:** yeah?

**lanceylance:** i don’t wanna like turn this around and make it about me but i wanna let u know before i forget

**kogayne:** no it’s fine go ahead

**lanceylance:** my family’s planning the annual trip back to cuba, and this year it’s three weeks instead of two

**lanceylance:** i don’t know when it is 

**lanceylance:** but this year my mom told me if i wanted, i could invite you, since by now most of my family has basically adopted you

**lanceylance:** but with the stuff with ur mom going on on top of being away from home for three weeks,,, i dunno

**lanceylance:** just

**lanceylance:** letting u know what’s going on, putting the offer out there

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** won’t scream much busy but i love

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** /why god why/

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i’m like, at a loss for words,

**kogayne:** one,

**kogayne:** i fucking love you and your family

**kogayne:** two,

**kogayne:** i’ll think about it to make sure but my immediate answer is hell fucking yes

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** how am i supposed to get on with the rest of my monday now that i’ve gotten another email from my mom

**kogayne:** like??

**lanceylance:** don’t respond right away

**lanceylance:** don’t even think about it until school is out

**kogayne:** you on call for rehearsal?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** i’m there for the second song so it’s gonna be a while

**lanceylance:** u can leave if u want

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna tho

**lanceylance:** welp

**lanceylance:** we can cuddle in the auditorium till i’m on if u want, if u still feel like it after school

**kogayne:** please god yes

**lanceylance:** :3

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** SO

**allurable:** oh boy

**carrierpidgeon:** IT IS NOT, IN FACT

**carrierpidgeon:** EMILY

**carrierpidgeon:** IT MADE FOR A VERY AWKWARD CONVERSATION BECAUSE /KEITH/ CAN’T DO HIS JOB

**allurable:** ...what

**carrierpidgeon:** DID I NOT SPEAK OF THE THEORY KEITH AND I CAME UP WITH IN THE SECRET ADMIRER SITCH

**allurable:** no

**kogayne:** nope that was just with me

**carrierpidgeon:** WELL OKAY WE THOUGHT IT WAS EMILY AND KEITH WAS SUPPOSED TO ASK HER SISTER BUT KEITH IS A FAILURE OF AN OLDER BROTHER SO HE FORGOT

**carrierpidgeon:** SO I LIKE

**carrierpidgeon:** ASKED IF SHE 

**carrierpidgeon:** MAYBE HAD A HAND IN IT

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh no

**carrierpidgeon:** “no sorry pidge!”

**carrierpidgeon:** SHE WAS NICE ABOUT IT BUT ERTEWRGRWFE I CAN’T SHOW MY FACE EVER AGAIN  B Y E

**kogayne:** I’M SORRY IF YOU HAD GIVEN ME TILL NEXT PERIOD I COULD’VE ASKED

**carrierpidgeon:** /TOO LATE NOW/

**carrierpidgeon:** but she did confirm that she definitely thinks it’s someone in her class

**carrierpidgeon:** which

**carrierpidgeon:** now i’m wondering if that’s code for “i know who it is but i was sworn to secrecy”

**shayfromstatefarm:** always a likely scenario

**carrierpidgeon:** so now

**carrierpidgeon:** i need to get a roster of everyone who’s in latin with her

**carrierpidgeon:** which, she promised to send screenshots of her classmates in google classroom, so

**hunkerdunker:** did matt ever translate that thing

**mattata:** it was a bunch of fucking vine references

**carrierpidgeon:** :) whoever likes me is a fucking memer

**kogayne:** I TOLD YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT UP KEITH

**lanceylance:** whoever this is already has my stamp of approval

**mattata:** ^^^

**allurable:** inch resting,,

**carrierpidgeon:** /what’s/ inch resting allura

**allurable:** u went to keith for all of this :P

**kogayne:** whaT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

**kogayne:** cryptkids gotta stick together  >:|

**takashmeoutside:** he’s being responsible let him live

**kogayne:** tHANK YOU, SHIRO

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway

**carrierpidgeon:** despite keith’s lack of help

**kogayne:** ur on thin fucking ice holt

**carrierpidgeon:** :P

**carrierpidgeon:** i am another step closer to blowing this whole case wide open

**allurable:** u go pidge!! u got this

**allurable:** and maybe at the end of it you’ll have a lovely gf who likes memes and appeals to your investigative nature

**carrierpidgeon:** :)))

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** u know

**carrierpidgeon:** if i didn’t still have a fucking crush on sherrie :))))))))

**kogayne:** :( 

**kogayne:** you’ll get over it eventually

**kogayne:** it’s gonna take time

**kogayne:** she’s ur first serious crush, isn’t she

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah

**kogayne:** it’ll pass

**kogayne:** give it time

**carrierpidgeon:** mmm

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s just not fair

**carrierpidgeon:** it feels like everyone around me has some fairytale romance with their first love and i’m ?????? stuck with this bullshit???

**kogayne:** i know it feels that way

**kogayne:** but trust me when i say no one around u has a fairytale relationship

**carrierpidgeon:** ???? y’all are with ur first crushes

**kogayne:** lance might’ve been my first, but i don’t think i was his 

**kogayne:** he might argue otherwise sometimes but i don’t think so

**carrierpidgeon:** fine. shiro and matt.

**kogayne:** do u not remember that whole debacle back in october

**carrierpidgeon:** they still ended up back together, did they not

**kogayne:** okay but i don’t think allura liked either of them first, she probably liked someone else

**carrierpidgeon:** /fine/ hunk and shay

**kogayne:** ...shit ur right about them

**kogayne:** but they also

**kogayne:** don’t speak up a lot about it

**kogayne:** they could be going thru something at any time and i don’t think they’d tell any of us

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god you’re right

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT IF THEY’RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING RIGHT NOW

**kogayne:** okay wait no shhh they’re fine i promise

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i’m bad at giving advice pls double-check that hunk and shay are still together and are fine

**lanceylance:** keith the fuck did u do

**kogayne:** i mentioned to pidge that hunk and shay are the type of people to keep their problems a secret and we probably wouldn’t know if something happened and i accidentally freaked her out

**lanceylance:** keith omfg

**kogayne:** shut UP i know i’m bad at this would u pls make sure they didn’t break up or something

**lanceylance:** fwgebrwfedbvfwdv ur not bad at it shh

**lanceylance:** and yes they’re fine here’s a picture of them holding hands they just made me take for proof

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** thank u

**lanceylance:** any time 

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** look they’re fine

**carrierpidgeon:** ...ur not in class w them

**kogayne:** i told lance i needed him to get a photo of them

**carrierpidgeon:** dqfwbewrgefsdbergwdber did u tell him about this convo

**kogayne:** i just said 

**kogayne:** this

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** that’s it, nothing else, i promise

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ALRIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** and

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry i’m just 

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god keith this is giving me anxiety

**carrierpidgeon:** how do you deal with this like every day

**kogayne:** it varies

**kogayne:** sometimes it’s one day at a time

**kogayne:** sometimes an hour at a time

**kogayne:** on the really bad days sometimes it’s a minute

**kogayne:** i’ve never gotten down to seconds

**kogayne:** take ur time, i’m here for u and i know the others are too

**kogayne:** crushes are scary

**kogayne:** secret admirers who know how to play to the things u like in order to frustrate u like this are even scarier

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** ALRIGHT GOTTA GO SEE YOU AT LUNCH

**kogayne:** see u at lunch nessie denier

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**acxalutelynot:** yo crew

**acxalutelynot:** meeting during rehearsal today about sets

**acxalutelynot:** we need to figure out what we’re doing so we can get started

**madplax:** yeah uhhh show’s in like 2 and a half weeks

**lanceylance:** holy fuck it’s that close

**madplax:** and prom’s in a week and a half for seniors and all underclassmen who wormed their way in as dates

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** i know we’ve got the prom bus and i’ve mostly gotten payment from everyone but uhhh what’s happening after that

**lanceylance:** we’re all getting dropped back at my place

**lanceylance:** how are we getting to and from post-prom, and what are we doing after

**kogayne:** sleepover?

**lanceylance:** just us or everyone we invited bc uhhhh gotta make plans with mama mcclain

**hunkerdunker:** well how many people would ur mom be cool with

**lanceylance:** ...have u seen how big my family is

**lanceylance:** she can handle everyone no problem, i just wanna know what /we’re/ down with

**lanceylance:** like, some new people we’ve never had sleepovers with before??? everyone comf????? everyone gonna be able to uhh i dunno SLEEP

**kogayne:** i’m comf

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^ i feel like the real issue is gonna be transport to and from post-prom

**lanceylance:** well we’ve got my car and we’ve got hunk’s minivan

**hunkerdunker:** um this squad is Not splitting up

**lanceylance:** so we’ve got hunk’s minivan,

**shayfromstatefarm:** well plax and flor are the ones who are friends with fulton and swirn, right? i’m sure they can carpool

**shayfromstatefarm:** and then i’m sure lotor’s squad will probably be in one big group

**shayfromstatefarm:** i don’t think we have anything to worry about

**lanceylance:** cool cool

**lanceylance:** so tonight i run plans by the mother and then tomorrow we can organize everything in the prom chat

**hunkerdunker:** sounds good

**hunkerdunker:** to be clear: we are the only people in my minivan

**lanceylance:** obviously

**lanceylance:** so we can jam out to our favorite songs as we please

**lanceylance:** keith can let his inner theatre nerd shine

**kogayne:** welp

**hunkerdunker:** i’m so ready

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** we

**lanceylance:** need tuxes

**lanceylance:** asap

**kogayne:** there’s a store in the mall we never checked out that i think we should, i saw some pretty cool ones that have the whole “john boyega vibe” thing you wanted

**kogayne:** wanna go after rehearsal gets out?

**lanceylance:** and then hit bww for dinner?

**kogayne:** i fucking love you

**lanceylance:** i fucking love you too

**kogayne:** plus i think allura has connections to someone who can tailor them if need be by prom

**lanceylance:** bet

**lanceylance:** lmao wanna get our nails done for prom

**kogayne:** are u joking or are u serious bc i’ll do it

**lanceylance:** it’s another date then

**kogayne:** hey u wanna know something

**lanceylance:** what

**kogayne:** i’m gonna let u stick sharp objects near my eyeballs again

**lanceylance:** THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I’VE GOTTEN ALL DAY

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i’m going out with lance tonight i’ll be home late he’s not coming over after

**kogayne:** just thought u should know

**takashmeoutside:** alright have fun

**kogayne:** yep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see y'all in the next one


	124. anxiety is the Worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance's anxiety is back with a vengeance, ft. klance, hance, heith, broganes, drama club shenanigans, and some mcclain family drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u were having a rough day this chapter is dedicated to u, ur all valid and i love u
> 
> **trigger warning for mention of an anxiety attack and mental breakdown and mentions of "i wanna die"**

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** i was having a nice hair day today

**shayfromstatefarm:** then the rain happened

**shayfromstatefarm:** i am no longer having a nice hair day

**allurable:** efrbrsdthtyjn tell me about it

**allurable:** i walked out of the house and didn’t realize it was raining

**allurable:** i am full of regret

**kogayne:** honestly

**kogayne:** same

**carrierpidgeon:** my hair was poofy this morning and now it’s just gross

**carrierpidgeon:** i want a refund on my wednesday

**mattata:** IT IS WEDNESDAY MY DUDES

**mattata:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** we can’t go a single day without memes, can we

**mattata:** you’ve known me for twenty years you should know me by now

**mattata:** memes all day every day

**mattata:** memes forever

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** u okay buddy?

**hunkerdunker:** you’re silent in the gc and matt’s talking about memes

**hunkerdunker:** u love memes

**lanceylance:** haha no :)

**hunkerdunker:** buddy :((( what’s going on

**lanceylance:** i :) don’t :) know :)

**lanceylance:** i got really anxious last night and it hasn’t gone away and :))))))))))

**lanceylance:** my brain’s been in a state of error 404 page not found for hours i can’t concentrate on anything 

**lanceylance:** my attention span is even worse than usual and i wanna die

**hunkerdunker:** have u told anyone?? have u told keith at least???

**lanceylance:** no

**hunkerdunker:** wHAT WHY

**lanceylance:** bc he’s got the shit going on with his mom and he’s been helping pidge a lot and i don’t want to throw another burden on top of him

**hunkerdunker:** dude

**hunkerdunker:** if keith was saying this you’d be flipping out bc he’s not a burden to u

**hunkerdunker:** i know for a fact keith feels the same way about u

**lanceylance:** hhhh i’ll be over this in a few hours probably i can handle it

**hunkerdunker:** why are u so willing to handle other people’s problems but then u don’t tell anyone when you’re suffering

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE

**lanceylance:** everyone sees me as the rock and that’s what i need to be

**lanceylance:** if i can focus on other people’s problems i can forget my own 

**hunkerdunker:** this isn’t healthy

**hunkerdunker:** you should know better than anyone that tucking your problems away just makes them worse 

**hunkerdunker:** that’s like leaving a piece of food on the floor and kicking it under the stove

**hunkerdunker:** all that’s gonna do is make it rot and then it’s gonna smell gross and stink up ur house until it becomes unbearable

**hunkerdunker:** if you’re not gonna tell keith, can u at least tell me?

**lanceylance:** hhhhhhnnnnnnn

**hunkerdunker:** lance

**hunkerdunker:** i’m your best friend

**lanceylance:** HHHHNNNNNN

**lanceylance:** i’m

**lanceylance:** i’ve basically already told u everything i dunno what’s going on just that i want death!!! IMMEDIATELY!!!

**hunkerdunker:** :(

**hunkerdunker:** take some deep breaths

**hunkerdunker:** antok won’t care if u put in ur music, listen to some music

**hunkerdunker:** nap the rest of period 1

**hunkerdunker:** did u eat?

**lanceylance:** yeah 

**hunkerdunker:** more than just coffee?

**lanceylance:** yes mother

**hunkerdunker:** >:|

**hunkerdunker:** good

 

**_hunkerdunker > kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** pls tell me u realize that lance is out of it

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** he got into my car this morning with the most dead look on his face

**kogayne:** which is usually normal but then it wasn’t gone by the time we got to school

**kogayne:** he won’t say anything tho he just keeps telling me not to worry about it which is making me more worried about it

_ (2) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** this is why

**kogayne:** fuck

**kogayne:** did he tell you what’s got him like this???

**hunkerdunker:** he doesn’t even know

**hunkerdunker:** he said his anxiety flared up last night and it hasn’t really let up

**kogayne:** FUCK

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** i won’t tell him you told me and if he finds out i’ll take the fall

**kogayne:** thanks

**hunkerdunker:** no problem dude

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll keep an eye on him 3 and 4

**kogayne:** aren’t we writing an essay for thace and doing the mock ap exam with ryner

**hunkerdunker:** ...oh god it’s gonna kill him

**hunkerdunker:** he’s gonna fall apart

**kogayne:** well, better have glue ready

**kogayne:** i’ve got the duct tape

**hunkerdunker:** ALRIGHTY THEN

 

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**allurable:** i can’t complain he was like this when i met him

**allurable:** kashi can at least plea that matt was normal in kindergarten

**carrierpidgeon:** ah yes, five years old

**carrierpidgeon:** the personality and behavior you will have always, for the rest of your life

**carrierpidgeon:** seems plausible

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me that is a perfectly valid argument

**mattata:** but why wouldn’t you want to know me as my memey self

**mattata:** i am a gift to this world

**shayfromstatefarm:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, wait for it,

**takashmeoutside:** where’s my receipt

**mattata:** >:O

**shayfromstatefarm:** there it is 

**kogayne:** shiro u chose this

**takashmeoutside:** when i was /5/ i wasn’t educated about the ways of the world

**kogayne:** yeah but listen i was roped into this, if anything /i/ get a receipt

**carrierpidgeon:** but then you wouldn’t have gotten me

**kogayne:** shit u right

**kogayne:** yeah i can take matt if i get pidge too

**mattata:** shut up ur life would be so boring without me

**allurable:** i love u matttttt :)  <3

**mattata:** thank u lura

**mattata:** fuck u kashi

**takashmeoutside:** when’s ur break

**kogayne:** NO

**takashmeoutside:** so i cant flirt with matt but u and lance can flirt nonstop got it

**kogayne:** d u d e

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** pls don’t with the lance callouts today

**kogayne:** he’s anxious as fuck and not speaking up about it

**takashmeoutside:** shit alright 

**takashmeoutside:** sorry 

**kogayne:** it’s alright u didn’t know

**kogayne:** but just

**kogayne:** do not

 

**_hunkerdunker > kogayne_ **

**hunkerdunker:** lance finished the calc exam

**hunkerdunker:** and immediately went to the bathroom

**kogayne:** i just wrapped my essay

**kogayne:** im gonna text him

**kogayne:** thanks hunk

**hunkerdunker:** i gotchu bro

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** hey

**kogayne:** lance

**kogayne:** pls talk to me

**lanceylance:** hhnnnn

**kogayne:** come on, starboy

**kogayne:** knock knock let me in

**lanceylance:** sorry no one’s home

**kogayne:** :(

**kogayne:** don’t leave the bathroom i’m coming

**lanceylance:** how did you

**kogayne:** lucky guess

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** rat

**hunkerdunker:** love you bro

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** everyone leave lance alone the rest of the day pls and thank

**kogayne:** hunk i think you’re gonna be the only exception to this rule

**mattata:** what’s up with lance

**kogayne:** he’s been anxious since yesterday and then when i went to talk to him he had a mental breakdown

**kogayne:** i’m hoping rehearsal later will cheer him up but i don’t know if he’ll even be stable enough for it

**hunkerdunker:** but knowing him he’ll probably pretend to be okay for as long as he can

**kogayne:** if he’s not stable i’m taking him home and if the director has an issue with it he can Meet Me In The Fucking Pit

**kogayne:** hell i’ll come back and read lance’s part for him

**carrierpidgeon:** how many times does he tell u to speak up when ur not feelin it

**kogayne:** he,,, he’s got a lot going on in that brain of his

**kogayne:** and he thought we were too busy with our own issues, he didn’t want to put more pressure on us

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m going to punt both of you down the stairs

**mattata:** but you’re shorter than all of us

**carrierpidgeon:** try me matthew

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** lmao good afternoon everyone welcome back to the bullshit

**kogayne:** of all days srsly

**lotoreal:** what’s going on

**madplax:** updates from the dear old administration on our show

**madplax:** bc they saw the in-progress sandwich boards and so lovingly pointed out, after it was all painted, that on saturday, we are /not/ doing a matinee

**dinezor:** COME AGAIN

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...what 

**madplax:** :)))

**madplax:** according to the office we didn’t pay for a saturday matinee, and i dunno if that means we fucked up payment for the rights or if we’re not paying the janitors or what

**madplax:** so we’re back down to our regularly scheduled 3 shows on thursday friday and saturday

**madplax:** ALSO 

**kogayne:** /why is there an also/

**madplax:** got a text from the assistant director

**madplax:** who got a text from the director

**madplax:** we need to be off-book by monday bc we have like, seven rehearsals left before opening

**hunkerdunker:** ur shitting me

**madplax:** :))))))))))))))))))

**madplax:** OH AND ONE MORE THING

**kogayne:** WHY

**madplax:** ads aren’t mandatory but we’re desperate can everyone sell like one ad

**kogayne:** this is Not the day

**madplax:** hush kogane

**kogayne:** don’t try me palx

**carrierpidgeon:** palx

**hunkerdunker:** palx

**shayfromstatefarm:** palx

**lanceylance:** palx

**madplax:** lance i was wondering when you’d show up

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**zethridofmyproblems:** and there’s the scream

**kogayne:** guys can we maybe NOT

**carrierpidgeon:** so anyway what’s on the crew agenda today, seeing as cast has their work cut out for them

**acxalutelynot:** more sandwich boards, we’re gonna need people on curtain to start learning cues,,, don’t think light and sound are really needed yet

**acxalutelynot:** light and sound kids, feel free to hang around, maybe make yourselves useful, that sorta stuff

**acxalutelynot:** other than that??? that’s it

**carrierpidgeon:** paint splatters...rope burn...paint splatters…

**kogayne:** ur usually on the soundboard aren’t you

**carrierpidgeon:** she said to make ourselves useful

**acxalutelynot:** ur not doing curtain

**carrierpidgeon:** rip to my sneakers again, probably

**dinezor:** rip rip potato chip

**acxalutelynot:** ...what?

**dinezor:** what do u mean what i meant what i said

**acxalutelynot:** tf did you /say/

**dinezor:** i said rip rip potato chip is that a crime

**acxalutelynot:** yes

**lotoreal:** disowned

**zethridofmyproblems:** ez, sweatie,,,

**dinezor:** never insinuate i am sweaty i use secret clinical strength antiperspirant bye

**madplax:** was that even necessary for us to know

**floronawiththecorona:** i’m with ez on this one

**madplax:** wtf

**shayfromstatefarm:** is it any good @ ez bc the invisible roll-on just isn’t cutting it anymore

**madplax:** WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING DEODORANT IN THE DRAMA CHAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** BECAUSE WE CAN

**dinezor:** BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO SWEAT IN SCENTED STYLE

**madplax:** TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE YOU SMELLY ASS

**dinezor:** NO

**dinezor:** I’M GONNA STINK THIS WHOLE PLACE UP

**kogayne:** acxa this is ur gf how do u feel

**acxalutelynot:** [sigh] u get used to it

**dinezor:** A SIGH? EXCUSE MOI

**dinezor:** A AM A GIFT

**acxalutelynot:** a am

**lotoreal:** a am

**zethridofmyproblems:** a am

**dinezor:** >:O

 

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so what’s the verdict

**kogayne:** astronomy seemed to cheer him up a little bit

**kogayne:** i’m gonna keep an eye on him but i think rehearsal will do him some good

**kogayne:** he’s just a little quieter than normal

**allurable:** he might not know what caused it but do u have any guesses

**kogayne:** probably the fact that prom, ap exams, and the musical are all within the next three weeks

**kogayne:** on top of the national honor society induction and final class ranks potentially being released

**kogayne:** and exams in school

**kogayne:** and college stuff like housing applications and choosing an orientation day

**mattata:** how are any of you still alive

**shayfromstatefarm:** livin on a prayer

**mattata:** ..WOOOAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE’RE HALFWAY THERE WOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH /OH/ LIVIN ON A PRAYER

**takashmeoutside:** yet again i must ask why you’re like this

**mattata:** gotta keep up my Basic White Guy persona

**carrierpidgeon:** in order to do that you’d also have to wear polos with bermuda shorts and either white sneakers or boat shoes

**mattata:** don’t try me i’ll do it

**mattata:** and i will ROCK IT i will bring White Dad fashion back into style

**allurable:** what do you mean “back into”

**hunkerdunker:** it was cool in the first place?

**takashmeoutside:** (let him live in his own bubble of delusion)

**mattata:** hush kashi

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** lance has decided that being in the Real World is suffocating so we’re going hiking after rehearsal

**takashmeoutside:** are the trails even gonna be open that late

**kogayne:** yes i looked

**kogayne:** so we’ll be home really late

**kogayne:** and he’s also decided he needs to be out of his house for a bit

**takashmeoutside:** is something going on at home?

**kogayne:** he wouldn’t say too much but uhhhh apparently his mom is fighting with his aunt

**takashmeoutside:** what? why???

**kogayne:** it’s his aunt carmen

**takashmeoutside:** ...aunt carmen…???????????? 

**kogayne:** jackson

**takashmeoutside:** …?

**kogayne:** the homophobe who probably voted for trump

**takashmeoutside:** didn’t they break up

**kogayne:** yeah they did on christmas eve remember

**kogayne:** i wanted him to stay so i could fist-fight him with lance’s sister but anyway

**kogayne:** he got back into the picture somehow and lance’s mom went mama bear mode

**kogayne:** so uhh FOUND THE SOURCE OF HIS ANXIETY

**takashmeoutside:** damn

**kogayne:** i really wish he’d spoken up sooner

**kogayne:** this boy knows i’ll get up at 3 AM to come get him if i have to

**kogayne:** but anyway he needs out of the house while his mom calms down and sorts things out

**kogayne:** and he needs a lot of comfort and like, a safe place to let things out

**kogayne:** except he doesn’t wanna stress his mom out

**kogayne:** and he didn’t wanna stress me out so that’s why he didn’t ask

**takashmeoutside:** “he wouldn’t say too much”

**kogayne:** WELL I MEAN,,,

**kogayne:** he didn’t talk much on the jackson topic but he’s Not Having It

**kogayne:** anyway tl;dr his homophobic not-uncle is on track to be his uncle again, his mom is pissed, he needs out

**kogayne:** we’re going hiking, idk we’ll probably go get something for dinner too, and then we’re coming back to ours

**takashmeoutside:** got it

**takashmeoutside:** stay safe, i’ll leave the front unlocked, i should be home when u get back

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** see ya later

**takashmeoutside:** back at ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friend hope says "lit lit potato chip" way too much
> 
> hope you'll never read this but that part's for u 
> 
> alright y'all see ya whenever the next one is


	125. the relationship chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> relationship shenanigans, ft. klance, hunay, shalluratt, and pidge's continued investigation into her secret admirer's identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a migraine last night
> 
> i woke up with my migraine
> 
> i wanted to write stars go down last night
> 
> instead i woke up today and wrote another chapter of squad up bc today is the only day i can use a meme so i had to write it
> 
> rip in pieces

**_fire, hellfire_ **

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_fire, hellfire_ ** _ to  _ **_ramen noodle hair_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** [pop singer voice] /guess what/

**lanceylance:** TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY WE CAN DO THIS SRFGRTGDRYYHRST YOU BEAT ME TO IT GOOD JOB PIDGE

**mattata:** recentlyon woodpond

**kogayne:** …?

**allurable:** MATT SDFGRSTHREYH

**takashmeoutside:** that’s a throwback O.O

**hunkerdunker:** OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**shayfromstatefarm:** i got it

**kogayne:** ???? hELP

**carrierpidgeon:** think about it mr cryptid hunter detective man

**carrierpidgeon:** use ur brain

**lanceylance:** or freeze ur brain ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** WE ARE NOT STARTING A HEATHERS SINGALONG RIGHT NOW

**lanceylance:** keeeeeeeeeith do it pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaase

**kogayne:** FREEZE YOUR BRAIN

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

**kogayne:** anyway what does it MEAN

**hunkerdunker:** think about the topic of conversation

**kogayne:** ramen noodles

**hunkerdunker:** okay no

**hunkerdunker:** well yes but no

**kogayne:** ramen noodle hair 

**kogayne:** like i get it’s a it’s gonna be

**kogayne:** OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** recently = just

**kogayne:** on = in

**kogayne:** wood = timber

**kogayne:** pond = lake

**shayfromstatefarm:** that took you way too long

**kogayne:** shut up no it didn’t i just don’t put some jokes together as quickly

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith,

**kogayne:** not all of us can be neurotypical, karen

**kogayne:** anyway matt where did that even /come from/

**mattata:** a bunch of us got together like,,, when that meme was still new

**mattata:** probably about junior year of college

**allurable:** ^ they were drunk

**carrierpidgeon:** i wanna know how much of college matt spent drunk

**mattata:** not as much as it sounds i promise

**mattata:** anyway we got bored and started coming up with alternate names for justin timberlake and we all agreed recentlyon woodpond sounded best bc it rhymed best

**lanceylance:** i feel like if u screamed “recentlyon woodpond” somewhere someone would take it wrong,,

**carrierpidgeon:** boi get ur mind out of the gutter

**lanceylance:** hush the gutter is my hOME

**kogayne:** i thought on saturday u said ur home is the dumpster behind bb

**lanceylance:** wherever there is trash and dirt to be found, there i am,

**hunkerdunker:** buddy are u still not right

**lanceylance:** no i’m good actually!!

**kogayne:** (he is)

**hunkerdunker:** mmmm alrighty

 

**_ramen noodle hair_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** update: my meme of a secret admirer dropped /that/ timberlake photo in my locker

**lanceylance:** wait the creepy one

**carrierpidgeon:** yes, the one everyone uses for the meme

**kogayne:** but did u catch her in the act

**carrierpidgeon:** nOPE

**carrierpidgeon:** she must get to school super early

**carrierpidgeon:** and all the girls who know who it is wON’T HELP ME

**allurable:** there are people who know who it is??

**carrierpidgeon:** one of emily’s latin friends let it slip that a group of them KNOWS

**carrierpidgeon:** SO NOW I GOTTA HUNT THEM DOWN AND SEE WHO I CAN GET INFO OUT OF

**carrierpidgeon:** BEFORE FRIDAY

**lanceylance:** it’s always friday with this girl

**carrierpidgeon:** i got

**carrierpidgeon:** another note

**carrierpidgeon:** on friday afternoon

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT I FORGOT ABOUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT DID IT SAYYYYY

**carrierpidgeon:** my secret admirer knows that i’m not going to prom with you all

**carrierpidgeon:** and she’s gonna reveal herself on friday as some kinda gift

**allurable:** omfg

**carrierpidgeon:** I Am A Being Made Of Fear

**lanceylance:** the more u talk about this secret admirer the more stamps of approval i wanna give her

**lanceylance:** she’s a memer with an air of mystery appealing to your sense of curiosity what more could u want

**carrierpidgeon:** an identity maybe

**carrierpidgeon:** assurance she isn’t an asshole

**carrierpidgeon:** to uhhh get over my crush on sherrie???  l m a o

**kogayne:** oof

**mattata:** hate to interrupt your tragedy about not being over ur crush on sherrie (which, mood) but uhhhh there’s a real simple solution we’ve all been overlooking

**carrierpidgeon:** what

**allurable:** what do u mean /mood/ matthew

**mattata:** pidge u have all this tech shit lying around ur room and ur telling me u can’t rig up a simple motion-triggered camera

**carrierpidgeon:** ...holy shit

**carrierpidgeon:** HOLY SHIT WHY DID NONE OF US THINK OF THAT

**allurable:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN MOOD MATTHEW

**mattata:** COLLEGE, LURA

**allurable:** OH SHIT U RIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** okay tonight i can rig up the camera and tomorrow morning i can hook it up to my locker

**carrierpidgeon:** assuming the security cameras don’t catch me and then administration doesn’t get suspicious

**kogayne:** or u could ask the office for the security tapes?

**carrierpidgeon:** what would i say? “yeah i’m afraid someone broke into my locker” and then get someone with an innocent crush in trouble? uhhh no

**kogayne:** ...that’s fair

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** y’all ever notice that shiro goes quiet in the group chat whenever matt and allura talk about The Relationship

**lanceylance:** or the Great College Relationship Debacle

**hunkerdunker:** lance why would you bring this up and why would you do it in the gc without pidge

**lanceylance:** she has enough to worry about besides her brother

**kogayne:** I DO TOO WTF

**lanceylance:** retntredrbtege

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance why would you bring this up

**lanceylance:** just thought it was Inch Resting

**lanceylance:** come to think of it shiro’s mostly been staying out of the gc except when he comes in to roast us or discourage our Bad Behavior

**hunkerdunker:** why,,, why is bad behavior capitalized like that

**lanceylance:** ;) because i’m a naughty naughty boy

**hunkerdunker:** literally why are we friends

**lanceylance:** this naughty boy needs someone to put him in his place

**hunkerdunker:** keith go get ur man

**lanceylance:** ;)))) 

**kogayne:** werthewqwertegwrg it is too early for this

**lanceylance:** we’ve been through three classes already get ur shit together

**kogayne:** TOO EARLY

**shayfromstatefarm:** if ur gonna dirty-flirt can u dirty-flirt by urselves pls

**shayfromstatefarm:** not all of us need to see this

**lanceylance:** ;DDDDD

**shayfromstatefarm:** L A N C E

**kogayne:** can’t believe i’m saying this but back to the shiro situation??? lance why do u think it’s interesting

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** maybe he’s just been busy at work??

**lanceylance:** but matt works at the same place as he does and technically has seniority bc he’s been there longer and matt makes time to talk??

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**hunkerdunker:** oh jeez what

**kogayne:** i wonder if he’s having another episode

**kogayne:** i know lately he’s had to deal with me being out of it and then me freaking out about college and then when lance was out of it i was spending time with him and

**kogayne:** fuck i am an awful cousin

**kogayne:** brother

**kogayne:** what even are we

**hunkerdunker:** brothers

**shayfromstatefarm:** brothers

**lanceylance:** brobros

**kogayne:** i can’t believe

**kogayne:** fuck i gotta text him

**lanceylance:** okay while u do that u said college and that reminded me

**lanceylance:** tomorrow’s like national college decision day or somethin

**lanceylance:** wear ur arus sweatshirts

**hunkerdunker:** do u think our physics class is gonna roast us or admire us

**shayfromstatefarm:** uh

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** are you okay

**takashmeoutside:** ??? why

**kogayne:** u didn’t answer ur not okay

**kogayne:** what’s going on

**kogayne:** did something happen with u and mallura

**takashmeoutside:** no

**kogayne:** stop avoiding my questions what’s going on

**takashmeoutside:** i’m fine

**kogayne:** yeah uhhh BULLSHIT

**takashmeoutside:** it’s nothing u need to worry about

**kogayne:** shiro i worry about literally everything what’s going on

**takashmeoutside:** remember that period in college

**kogayne:** IT’S ALWAYS COLLEGE

**takashmeoutside:** fine i won’t tell u

**kogayne:** no shertewfbgrwfg GO ON

**takashmeoutside:** honestly u probably don’t remember or didn’t care or didn’t notice

**kogayne:** u mean when ur mom and dad died and u were severely out of it bc the custody battle was draining your life force bc legal stuff is bullshit? i remember

**takashmeoutside:** wh

**takashmeoutside:** okay fine

**takashmeoutside:** i’m starting to feel like that again and i don’t even know where it came from

**kogayne:** ??? maaaaaaaaaaybe because we’re doing college stuff now and you’re remembering your shitty first couple years in college when u went thru it with matt and allura and none of u ever talked about ur issues so they got worse and them bringing up the College Relationship Problems isn’t helping??

**takashmeoutside:** is this lance

**kogayne:** no it’s me but lance is the one who noticed first if i’m being honest

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** talk to matt and allura before this blows up

**takashmeoutside:** it has nothing to do with them though

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t even know if they noticed anything

**kogayne:** s h i r o  i will literally drive to target after school and deck u if u don’t get ur shit together

**kogayne:** TEXT THEM

 

**_kogayne_ ** _ added  _ **_mattata_ ** _ and  _ **_allurable_ ** _ to  _ **_takashi shirogane: human disaster_ **

**kogayne:** can y’all tell shiro u love him and ur not gonna break up and that sorta stuff

**kogayne:** or something

**mattata:** KEITH WHY WOULD U MAKE THIS GC SHIRO ALMOST SAW IT

**kogayne:** wym

**mattata:** I WAS SHOWING HIM SOME MORE TIMBERLAKE MEMES

**allurable:** okay so it wasn’t just me thinking i was misinterpreting things, something /is/ going on

**kogayne:** boi’s gettin stressed over his old college days

**kogayne:** bc he keeps internalizing things

**kogayne:** even tho he knows he’s supposed to fuckin speak up

**kogayne:** just reassure him throughout the day

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** kashiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

**allurable:** matthewwwwwwwwwwwww

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**mattata:** yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?

**allurable:** what time are u two off of work we’re gonna do something tonight

**allurable:** i say bowling night but i’m up for suggestions

**takashmeoutside:** i’m out at 6

**mattata:** ^^^

**mattata:** i’m down w w/e

**mattata:** what about u mr takashmeoutside

**takashmeoutside:** bowling sounds nice

**allurable:** EXCELLENT I’LL BE THE ONE PICKING U BOTH UP

**allurable:** u can fistfight over shotgun or snuggle in the back idc

**allurable:** but everyone gET EXCITED IT’S DATE NIGHTTTTT

**takashmeoutside:** did keith say something

**mattata:** mayhaps

**allurable:** doesn’t mean we didn’t notice

**allurable:** and i apologize we should’ve asked but we weren’t totally sure so we decided to let it alone

**takashmeoutside:** no no it’s okay

**takashmeoutside:** i need to use my own advice and speak up

**takashmeoutside:** take action and all that

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes i just forget that i don’t need to do everything by myself

**mattata:** smh what is it with broganes and independence

**mattata:** ANYWAY GOTTA GO WE JUST HAD A GROUP OF SOCCER MOMS COME IN

**allurable:** how do u know they’re soccer moms

**takashmeoutside:** the purses

**mattata:** the cluster of minivans i can see in the parking lot

**takashmeoutside:** the way they walk and how loudly they’re talking

**mattata:** the Haircut

**allurable:** YIKE

**allurable:** HAVE FUN

 

**_allurable > kogayne_ **

**allurable:** lmao they’re getting destroyed by a group of soccer moms

**kogayne:** what

_ (1) photo from  _ **_allurable_ **

**kogayne:** oof

**allurable:** think i’m gonna go in and surprise them

**kogayne:** have fun with that

**kogayne:** i’m gonna get back to classes bc half of my teachers are going ballistic over ap exams coming up

**allurable:** have fun with that make sure u and ur boyf and co don’t overwork urselves with the show coming up!!!!

**kogayne:** smh i’ll do my best

 

**_ramen noodle hair_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** if these girls look at me with knowing looks one more time i am going to throw hands i cannot survive a week of this

**carrierpidgeon:** i need to rig up that camera and fast

**lanceylance:** aw cmon pidge don’t be so

**lanceylance:** (•_•) ( •_•) >⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

**lanceylance:** short about it

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m going to murder you in your sleep

**hunkerdunker:** okay no,

**carrierpidgeon:** I JUST WANNA KNOW WHO IT IS ALREADY

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** but wouldn’t a romantic reveal on friday be kinda cute tho

**lanceylance:** wait a minute…

**shayfromstatefarm:** ??? 

**lanceylance:** FRIDAY IS /OUR/ ANNIVERSARY

**lanceylance:** rethgntrgefgbefws pidge u need to find out SOON

**carrierpidgeon:** NO SHIT SHERLOCK

**mattata:** i love how lance cares the moment he is inconvenienced

**lanceylance:** listen may 4th is SACRED

**kogayne:** our anniversary is friday and prom is on friday um COMMENCE PANIC MODE

**allurable:** keith tf did i tell u

**kogayne:** TOO LATE

**allurable:** smh

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** LMAO I NEED UR HELP

**hunkerdunker:** who hurt u

**lanceylance:** ???? no shh this is not about me

**hunkerdunker:** but u just

**hunkerdunker:** okay nvm what do u need help with

**lanceylance:** i need help putting together keith’s anniversary gift 

**lanceylance:** can u drive me home after rehearsal and then like,,, stay over for a lil bit and help me with some stuff? please?

**hunkerdunker:** yeah sure

**hunkerdunker:** but uhh how u gonna tell keith u don’t need him to drive u home

**lanceylance:** well my first idea was family emergency but then he’d get concerned and i don’t need him stressing

**lanceylance:** i’ll just tell him i have a doctor’s appointment i forgot about ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**hunkerdunker:** well alrighty then

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** he bought it  >:)

 

**_kogayne > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**kogayne:** my boyfriend isn’t slick but i need an excuse to get his anniversary gift together

**shayfromstatefarm:** what

**kogayne:** lance randomly reminds me during astronomy that he’s got a “doctor’s appointment” after rehearsal that he forgot about so his mom is picking him up 

**kogayne:** but we all know what he’s really up to

**shayfromstatefarm:** or he could actually have an appointment?

**kogayne:** text hunk. ask what he’s doing this afternoon. or ask him, if you’re sitting with him rn

**shayfromstatefarm:** “uhhh gotta help my mom with something”

**kogayne:** lmao lance totally recruited hunk to help him for our anniversary

**shayfromstatefarm:** how did u even put that together

**kogayne:** Lance Senses

**kogayne:** also are you busy later

**shayfromstatefarm:** no why

**kogayne:** can i come get u after school if ur up to helping me w lance’s gift

**shayfromstatefarm:** sure

**shayfromstatefarm:** what are u doing

**kogayne:** i’ll tell u all about it after school just so lance doesn’t accidentally see anything

**shayfromstatefarm:** alright sounds like a plan

 

**_what the fuck is happening anymore_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** so uh

_ (3) photos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** this happened

**carrierpidgeon:** omfg

**hunkerdunker:** FRETHNREWERDB THAT’S WHY YOU ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** iconic

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > hunkerdunker_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** i need more gift cards to michael’s crafts

**hunkerdunker:** is that where keith dragged u off to

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**hunkerdunker:** am i allowed to know what he’s doing for lance

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah as long as lance doesn’t somehow see it

**hunkerdunker:** pls i am Skilled at being sneaky, what’s up

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s making a giant scrapbook, number one

**shayfromstatefarm:** with all of their memories from their first meeting to now

**shayfromstatefarm:** and then he’s gonna sing for lance in front of everyone on friday morning 

**hunkerdunker:** why not lunch

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...prom? leaving early?

**hunkerdunker:** riiiight

**shayfromstatefarm:** he’s very excited i can’t with this

_ (2) videos from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** soft keiths are a rarity wtf is this

**hunkerdunker:** lmfao

**hunkerdunker:** he’s gonna be shocked bc lance is *also* performing for him

**shayfromstatefarm:** FDGHNRGWFD WHAT

**hunkerdunker:** he’s attempting to write an original song to sing to him

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO SHUT UP THAT’S SO CUTE

**shayfromstatefarm:** THIS IS DISGUSTING

**hunkerdunker:** he also got them little lightsaber charms and keith’s is blue and lance’s is red

**shayfromstatefarm:** w t f

**hunkerdunker:** this is ridiculous i can’t with them

**hunkerdunker:** RDTFHYERWSFR GOTTA GO LANCE IS GETTING CURIOUS

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK I SWEAR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone in the comments going "i think i know who pidge's secret admirer is!" and "if it's not who i think it is i swear" is funny bc i didn't even know who it was till i was writing this chapter wersdrsfgbgerdbff 
> 
> LATER Y'ALL I'M GONNA TRY AND MAKE A DECENT DENT IN SGD CHAPTER 32


	126. May the Fourth Be With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> star wars day, klance's anniversary, pidge's secret admirer reveal, and PROM NIIIIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao prom was fun and i loved post-prom, except then i went back to my friend amanda's house with the crew, watched the new bfu, and fell asleep, and didn't wake up till 12 in the afternoon
> 
> anyway here's the chapter

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** happy anniversary starlight :) it’s been two years since we started dating and i could go on and on about how much i love you but i’ve got the whole day to do that, plus prom, so i’m gonna keep this short and sweet considering we need to sleep since we won’t be sleeping later   
i love you more than you could possibly know, and there isn’t a day i don’t wake up grateful that we’re together. you’re the most important person to me and i thank god every day that i have you at my side. these last two years have been wILD honestly and i’m glad you’ve been through it all with me. here’s to many more <333

 **kogayne:** happy anniversary, starboy.   
two years ago hunk and shay convinced me to do something that terrified the hell out of me, but i went and did it anyway because at that point i couldn’t hold it in anymore, i liked you and it was killing me and if i didn’t say something then i was probably going to explode. i was convinced it was some fucking /miracle/ that you liked me too, and every day since then i’ve considered myself beyond lucky that i have you. you’re sweet and talented and patient and selfless and the brightest star on the darkest days.   
i’ll admit that at first i didn’t known what i was getting into, and i had no idea how deeply i’d fall in love with you, and it was one of those things where you don’t realize it’s happening until that quiet “oh” moment and as soon as that moment happened, it was over for me. there’s no one else out there like you, and no one else i’d rather be with. you do so much, so much you’re not even aware of. you could just walk into the room and my day is just that much better.   
i love you, lance mcclain. happy two years. <3

 **lanceylance:** you bitch i’m gonna cry how long have u worked on that

 **kogayne:** it’s not even my best version rfedbfwed

 **kogayne:** it would be better for me to show you in the morning

 **lanceylance:** :3  <333333

 **lanceylance:** promise you’ll go to sleep soon

 **kogayne:** alright alright i will

 **kogayne:** you too

 **lanceylance:** I WILL

 **lanceylance:** what’s our game plan for when school gets out

 **kogayne:** ...nails??? i think that’s it?

 **kogayne:** it’s not gonna take that long to do makeup

 **kogayne:** and /i/ wasn’t planning on doing anything super special with my hair

 **lanceylance:** neither was i

 **kogayne:** we’ve got plenty of time for a lunch date,,, ?

 **lanceylance:** i’m paying

 **kogayne:** sit down fucker i’m paying

 **lanceylance:** pay for each other

 **kogayne:** deal

 

**_ramen noodle hair_ **

**_mattata_ ** _renamed_ **_ramen noodle hair_ ** _to_ **_the jedi order_ **

**mattata:** midnight, it is

 **mattata:** be with you, may the fourth

 **lanceylance:** yoda??? [gasp] YODA HAS COME TO BLESS THE CHAT

 **mattata:** not exactly

 **mattata:** not yoda, i am

 **mattata:** possessing matthew, i am

 **lanceylance:** FINALLY MATT’S GONE I CAN RECLAIM MY THRONE AS TOP MEMER

 **carrierpidgeon:** omfg

 **kogayne:** lance go to bed

 **mattata:** SO YOU ADMIT I’M THE TOP MEMER

 **lanceylance:** i never said it u can’t prove anything

 _(1) photo from_ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** exhibit A

 **lanceylance:** photoshop

 **kogayne:** Lance Go To Bed

 **lanceylance:** No

 **kogayne:** L A N C E

 **allurable:** lance keith pidge go to bed why are you all awake

 **allurable:** you have SCHOOL

 **allurable:** and the seniors have PROM THEY’RE GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT

 **lanceylance:** YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DO ANYTHING

 **carrierpidgeon:** JOSH GO PUT THOSE CORNDOGS BACK

 **kogayne:** BEDTIME NOT VINE TIME

 **lanceylance:** excuse me it is Always vine time

 **kogayne:** BED

 **hunkerdunker:** lance sleep pls

 **hunkerdunker:** i will not deal w ur sleep-deprived ass during 3 and 4

 **lanceylance:** hush hunketh you all forget whose house you’re sleeping in after post-prom

 **kogayne:** lmao what time is ur mom kicking us out on saturday

 **lanceylance:** why would my mom kick you all out she LOVES YOU GUYS

 **shayfromstatefarm:** bc she has a life

 **shayfromstatefarm:** and doesn’t need a whole bunch of us crashing at ur house

 **lanceylance:** okay realistically even if she “kicked everyone out” she’d let u three stay till whenever bc she doesn’t care

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** especially u :)

 **kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GO TO SLEEP YOU CAN’T MAKE ME THIS FLUSTERED

 **lanceylance:** uhhh yes i can

 

**_the jedi order_ **

**takashmeoutside:** children GO TO SLEEP

 **takashmeoutside:** YOU HAVE SCHOOL

 **takashmeoutside:** i don’t need keith oversleeping and then scrambling in the morning while he shrieks that he’s gonna be late and it’s gonna be even worse bc he’s lance’s ride

 **lanceylance:** actually

 **lanceylance:** tomorrow

 **lanceylance:** aka today

 **lanceylance:** i am /his/ ride

 **lanceylance:** and i don’t oversleep bc i have a complex morning beauty routine

 **carrierpidgeon:** read: lance has better facial hygiene than keith

 **kogayne:** NOT TRUE I JUST TAKE LESS TIME IN THE MORNING

 **kogayne:** i use (1) soap lance uses like 20

 **lanceylance:** perfection doesn’t happen by itself

 **kogayne:** ...yesitdoes…

 **lanceylance:** dfghtfgjhkyufjrhtxd

 **carrierpidgeon:** STOP BEING MUSHY GO TO SLEEP

 

**_the jedi order_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M GONNA SCREM

 **kogayne:** screm

 **hunkerdunker:** screm

 **lanceylance:** u screm i screm we all screm for ice crem

 **shayfromstatefarm:** scram

 **allurable:** scrambled eggs

 **mattata:** oooh kashi lura let’s go get breakfast

 **allurable:** i’m down

 **takashmeoutside:** ^^

 **carrierpidgeon:** HUSH I HAVE AN ANSWER ON MY SECRET ADMIRER I’M FUCKING YELLING THIS HOE

 **kogayne:** DID WE FINALLY CATCH SOMEONE ON THE SECURITY CAM YOU RIGGED

 **carrierpidgeon:** NO

 **carrierpidgeon:** I WALK

 **carrierpidgeon:** INTO CHEMISTRY

 **carrierpidgeon:** AND

 **carrierpidgeon:** IT WAS FUCKING EMILY

 **shayfromstatefarm:** BUT SHE SAID IT WASN’T HER

 **shayfromstatefarm:** DIDN’T SHE SAY THE NOTES WOULD STOP IF YOU FIGURED IT OUT

 **carrierpidgeon:** WSDGFJFTCGERG SHE SAID SHE HOPED IT WOULD TAKE LONGER BECAUSE SHE PLANNED THE CUTESY REVEAL SO SHE SAID NO

 **lanceylance:** emily has my stamp of approval

 **mattata:** ^^^^^

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** SO????? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS SPILL THE TEA

 **carrierpidgeon:** SHE

 **carrierpidgeon:** I

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **carrierpidgeon:** okay so like??? cAN U HAVE MULTIPLE CRUSHES

 **kogayne:** I MEAN YEAH I’D SAY THAT’S A THING

 **carrierpidgeon:** OKAY LIKE

 **carrierpidgeon:** I KNOW SHERRIE HAS A GIRLFRIEND BUT THAT CRUSH WON’T GO AWAY BUT

 **carrierpidgeon:** BUT EMILY’S REALLY BEING CUTE ABOUT THIS AND IT’S REALLY ENDEARING AND??

 **kogayne:** I MEAN IF YOU WANT BETTER ADVICE TO GO ANYONE BUT ME, LIKE GO TO LANCE OR HUNK OR SHAY OR LIKE,,,, MATT??? I DUNNO

 **kogayne:** BUT SOMETIMES U DON’T EXPECT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE UNTIL THEY DO A CUTE THING™ AND IT HITS YOU IN THAT “OH GOD OH FUCK OH SHIT OH NO I WON’T SAYYYY I’M IN LOOOVE” MOMENT

 **carrierpidgeon:** yes those are the correct lyrics to that song

 **kogayne:** /you scream, you cry/

 **carrierpidgeon:** i won’t sayyyy i’m in looooooove

 **carrierpidgeon:** rthtyjtfujyujrekgerk i have to think on this

 **kogayne:** wait so what actually went down

 **carrierpidgeon:** she said she thinks i’m cool and if i wanted, would i go out with her sometime

 **carrierpidgeon:** she was rlly soft about it?? she was like “we can just go as friends and get to know each other better”

 **kogayne:** friendship is one of the easiest gateways into a romantic relationship

 **kogayne:** bc relationships are just like

 **kogayne:** vvvvv close best friendships

 **kogayne:** “marry ur best friend” is a Thing

 **kogayne:** anyway what did u tell her

 **carrierpidgeon:** i said yes

 **kogayne:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **carrierpidgeon:** lmao is it normal for me to be shaking rn

 **carrierpidgeon:** and i can’t stop smiling

 **kogayne:** oh my god pidge ur in love ur growing up

 **carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **carrierpidgeon:** she made a tiny poster for it too

 **carrierpidgeon:** it had a star wars joke and a fucking physics joke

 **kogayne:** pidge she’s appealing to your nerdiness

 **carrierpidgeon:** “I can’t (mass x acceleration) you to do anything, but you’re Endor-able. Go out sometime?

 **carrierpidgeon:** ewagtdfhtyjt it’s aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’m y e l l i ng but like internally

 **kogayne:** she has my stamp of approval

 **kogayne:** i’d talk to her sister in physics but uhhh won’t see her then, maybe i’ll say something at prom

 **kogayne:** anyway i’m hAPPY FOR YOU

 **carrierpidgeon:** SDFGRDTHRTFG i’m gonna go my chem teacher has noticed i’m not paying attention byeee

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** I JUST CHECKED MY EMAIL TO SEE THE PROM KING AND QUEEN BALLOT

 **lanceylance:** HOW THE FUCK DID I GET ON THIS BALLOT

 **kogayne:** [whistling]

 **lanceylance:** WHAT DID YOU DO

 **kogayne:** sooooo remember when the original prom survey went out

 **lanceylance:** yes?

 **kogayne:** i maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay have secretly campaigned to get a bunch of people to put your name down

 **lanceylance:** KEITH

 **kogayne:** YOU DESERVE IT

 **lanceylance:** NO YOU AND HUNK DESERVE IT

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m flattered

 **hunkerdunker:** but also i also put your name down

 **shayfromstatefarm:** lol i put hunk #sorrynotsorry

 **lanceylance:** ...i put down keith

 **shayfromstatefarm:** of course u did ur whipped for him

 **lanceylance:** yes i fucking am

 **kogayne:** well if u wanted me in the final four u should’ve campaigned harder

 **lanceylance:** apparently

 **kogayne:** lmao so everyone here’s voting lance for king correct

 **hunkerdunker:** what kind of best friend would i be if i didn’t

 **shayfromstatefarm:** honestly keith

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i find your lack of faith disturbing

 **kogayne:** okay vader

 **lanceylance:** fregthngtyergnbgrfg I DON’T DESERVE YOU GUYS

 **shayfromstatefarm:** YES U DO SHUT UP

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**kogayne:** alright does everyone have their exits for dismissal

 **hunkerdunker:** suck it i’m going out the main entrance

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve got lobby

 **lanceylance:** boyf and i both landed the science wing :3

 **shayfromstatefarm:** a star wars day miracle

 **lanceylance:** i can’t believe obi-wan kenobi came back from the dead to bless us

 **hunkerdunker:** shay what time is ur hair appointment

 **shayfromstatefarm:** not till 2

 **hunkerdunker:** any other engagements before that?

 **shayfromstatefarm:** nails

 **hunkerdunker:** wtf take me with u, klance left me out of their plans

 **lanceylance:** b o i

 **hunkerdunker:** i’m kidding enjoy ur anniversary lovebirds

 **shayfromstatefarm:** lmfao

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hunk if u really want ur nails done then come with me

 **kogayne:** wait where are u getting ur nails done

 **shayfromstatefarm:** Nailed It

 **kogayne:** SO ARE WE

 **hunkerdunker:** wow tefhrfdtgrdtfgdft

 **hunkerdunker:** guess we’re not left out after all

 **lanceylance:** okay but our date spot for after is SUPER SECRET SO SHHH

 **hunkerdunker:** date spot

 **hunkerdunker:** u mean the sports center after prom

 **lanceylance:** nope we have a lunch date

 **kogayne:** :)

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hunk we’re getting lunch after

 **hunkerdunker:** bet

 **shayfromstatefarm:** u guys aren’t getting pizza are u

 **lanceylance:** nope

 **shayfromstatefarm:** good

 **lanceylance:** although we can find a 24 hour pizza place after post prom if we want

 **hunkerdunker:** ...we would eat at prom

 **lanceylance:** yes

 **hunkerdunker:** and then eat at post prom

 **lanceylance:** yes

 **hunkerdunker:** and then eat after post prom

 **lanceylance:** DO YOU GUYS WANT PIZZA OR NAH

 **hunkerdunker:** you know what fuck it it’s the weekend and there’s no rehearsal till monday

 **lanceylance:** rehearsal that we all have to go in late for because of the ap exam

 **kogayne:** ...that means we’re missing like, all of our leads

 **kogayne:** is plax in ap psych

 **hunkerdunker:** lmao no she took honors psych

 **kogayne:** so they have ariel

 **kogayne:** but they’re out eric, ursula, triton,

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’m pretty sure there are a couple side characters missing too

 **lanceylance:** rest in pieces

 **hunkerdunker:** anyway not focusing on rehearsal right now focus on prom

 **hunkerdunker:** how many pizzas are we ordering

 **lanceylance:** four of us, four in plax’s group, five for lotor’s, that’s thirteen if i did my math correctly

 **lanceylance:** which, i am fine at basic addition, thank you

 **kogayne:** [the derivatives quietly chant in the distance]

 **lanceylance:** hush knife boy

 **lanceylance:** thirteen people, pizzas typically have 8 slices, so that’s two to start with, and if everyone has like, two slices, that’s four, which is what i’m pretty sure we ordered when we did that sleepover at keith’s

 **kogayne:** yes in which case i’m bringing money

 **lanceylance:** nO

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’m with keith

 **hunkerdunker:** ^^^

 **lanceylance:** you rats

 **kogayne:** you did the SAME THING WHEN I BOUGHT THE PIZZAS EVEN THO SHIRO AND I HAVE DISCOUNTS

 **lanceylance:** dfnhrgfewgbfngdn

 

**_the jedi order_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** you people are lucky i have friends in this lunch wave

 **carrierpidgeon:** between early dismissals and senior courtyard privilege these last few lunches have forced me to find a new table

 **lanceylance:** r i p

 **kogayne:** u sitting with emily

 **carrierpidgeon:** hush ur mouth kogane

 **carrierpidgeon:** thnfdgrsfdgbdf why are older siblings awful about crushes

 **kogayne:** listen i have waited years for this

 **takashmeoutside:** i dunno what you’re talking about i never teased keith like this

 **kogayne:** that’s the biggest lie you ever told

 **mattata:** he’d roast keith to hell and back dgfbdsdbfdgrf

 **allurable:** ^^^^

 **allurable:** he was merciless

 **shayfromstatefarm:** relatable

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i mentioned my crush on hunk to rax (1) time and he wouldn’t shut up

 **hunkerdunker:** mmm can’t relate

 **allurable:** ^^^

 **lanceylance:** okay but you all have like ONE sibling

 **lanceylance:** i have six

 **lanceylance:** they are awful about crushes

 **lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it’s worse when u had prior gfs and then come home with a boy

 **kogayne:** which of your siblings am i murdering

 **lanceylance:** lmao didn’t u know

 **lanceylance:** i used to have seven siblings but emely killed them

 **kogayne:** wh

 **kogayne:** that’s an exaggeration

 **lanceylance:** lmao yeah it is but anyway no i mentioned keith as being,,, more than a friend to me,,,,,, before we started dating

 **lanceylance:** and

 **lanceylance:** alejandro said something

 **lanceylance:** not exactly the nicest

 **lanceylance:** he was joking

 **lanceylance:** but

 **lanceylance:** em came at him and almost broke his nose

 **kogayne:** erfngbbfgfds

 **takashmeoutside:** wow

 **hunkerdunker:** dude

 **kogayne:** my appreciation for emely just increases all the time

 **lanceylance:** :)

 **mattata:** dude i wanna meet emely

 **mattata:** i wanna meet the mcclain family what the fuck

 **mattata:** pidge why haven’t we met the mcclain family

 **carrierpidgeon:** you met his parents?

 **lanceylance:** matt they were at that college acceptance party

 **mattata:** yeah but like

 **mattata:** i was distracted

 **lanceylance:** by what

 **mattata:** my hot bf and gf

 **kogayne:** what a mood

 **lanceylance:** tell ya what we’ll have a grad party and you can come and hang out with them and swap older sibling gossip

 **carrierpidgeon:** NO

 **mattata:** YES

 

**_carrierpidgeon > mattata_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** lololololol i don’t need a ride home anymore

 **mattata:** oh?

 **carrierpidgeon:** a bunch of us are gonna walk to the ice cream place on main bc it’s hot and we’re bored sophomores

 **carrierpidgeon:** so uhhh

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’ll be home late

 **carrierpidgeon:** pls tell the maternal unit™

 **mattata:** or u could just text her for urself

 **carrierpidgeon:** but have u considered: i could /not/ do that bc i’m lazy

 **mattata:** lmao fine

 **mattata:** go enjoy urself

 **carrierpidgeon:** thanks big brother dearest of mine

 **mattata:** i gotchu sis go enjoy ur afternoon with ur future gf

 **carrierpidgeon:** shut your fuck

 

**_PROM 2K18_ **

**lanceylance:** everyone u need to be at my house by five if we wanna be on time to catch this party bus and take photos and then get to the venue on time

 **lanceylance:** bring ur hot selves, bring ur hot dates, don’t forget to bring stuff to change into for post prom

 **lanceylance:** and then a sleeeeeeeeepoverrrrrrr

 **lanceylance:** lmao also we’re getting pizza for the sleepover

 **madplax:** but we’re eating at prom and post

 **lanceylance:** tragic we’re ordering more pizza

 **blumpyfumpy:** hush plax accept the pizza

 **madplax:** i refuse

 **swirnupanddown:** pizzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 **lotoreal:** what are these hot dates u speak of

 **lanceylance:** well for me there’s keith,

 **kogayne:** ewfgbdsfdbgf

 **madplax:** wait isn’t today ur anniversary

 **kogayne:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh u hate when this becomes the relationship chat

 **lanceylance:** keith doesn’t usually like being the center of attention in large groups but YES ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **madplax:** didn’t you two fucking serenade each other this morning

 **kogayne:** shhhhhhhhhh

 **lanceylance:** :) yes

 **floronawiththecorona:** AWW HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

 **kogayne:** l a n c e

 **lanceylance:** I LOVE KEITH KOGANE WITH MY ENTIRE SOUL

 **dinezor:** WE KNOW

 **dinezor:** YOU SAY IT EVERY DAY

 **lanceylance:** because i love him every single day

 **lanceylance:** i will always love him

 **lanceylance:** :O  >:D

 **hunkerdunker:** oh boy

 **kogayne:** LANCE

 **lanceylance:** AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 **acxalutelynot:** let’s be real though did we expect anything else to come out of this

 **zethridofmyproblems:** pffft no

 **sippinganartini:** 1) lance my text-to-speech hates you

 **sippinganartini:** 2) lol no

 **lanceylance:** WHOOPS SORRY

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** SHAY HUNK

 **shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT

 **lanceylance:** I’M STILL DOING YOUR MAKEUP CORRECT

 **shayfromstatefarm:** YES

 **hunkerdunker:** DUH

 **shayfromstatefarm:** WHY ARE YOU CHECKING ON THIS SEVERAL HOURS BEFORE PROM

 **lanceylance:** BECAUSE I CAN

 **lanceylance:** BE AT MY HOUSE FOR LIKE,,, 3:30???

 **lanceylance:** OR AS EARLY AS YOU CAN

 **shayfromstatefarm:** idk how long my hair is gonna take but i’ll be there right after

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i mean it can’t really take more than an hour but idk

 **lanceylance:** alright well i’ll do keith first since he’s already with me

 **lanceylance:** then hunk? then shay

 **hunkerdunker:** sounds like a plan

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

 **lanceylance:** reghrtegrmhgntdrhnb i can’t believe you all trust me to put sharp things near your seeing holes

 **shayfromstatefarm:** seeing holes

 **lanceylance:** yes

 **lanceylance:** is there a problem officer

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yes

 **lanceylance:** ,,, this would be more fun to roleplay with keith

 **kogayne:** omfg

 **shayfromstatefarm:** why do you say these Cursed things

 **lanceylance:** gotta stay on brand

 **hunkerdunker:** lance

 **lanceylance:** yes

 **hunkerdunker:** get out

 **lanceylance:** a solid film

 **hunkerdunker:** egrthnyjnhergnyf

 **lanceylance:** ANYHOO BYE GONNA GO SPEND THE REST OF MY TIME WITH KEITH BEFORE Y’ALL COME OVER

 **shayfromstatefarm:** have fun

 **hunkerdunker:** use protection

 **lanceylance:** SHUT YOUR FUCK

 

**_PR0M 2K18_ **

**lanceylance:** alright y’all doors to the mcclain residence are open to all who are not keith hunk and shay, better get ur butts here within the next forty-five minutes or we’re going to have pROBLEMS

 **dinezor:** promblems

 **lanceylance:** YES

 **acxalutelynot:** keith why are we dating them

 **kogayne:** idk man

 **kogayne:** lance why are we dating

 **lanceylance:** because u love me

 **kogayne:** u got me there,

 **dinezor:** ax loves my puns but she acts like she doesn’t bc she needs to maintain her air of stoicism

 **acxalutelynot:** false

 **dinezor:** true

 **zethridofmyproblems:** true

 **sippinganartini:** true

 **lotoreal:** true

 **shayfromstatefarm:** acxa

 **acxalutelynot:** yes

 **shayfromstatefarm:** we all heard and saw u two at that sleepover at keith’s

 **shayfromstatefarm:** you’re not fooling anyone

 **acxalutelynot:** well fuck

 **acxalutelynot:** anyway i’m leaving soon

 **acxalutelynot:** lotor’s with me, we’ll grab ez, then we’ll grab zeth and narti and head on over

 **madplax:** ^^^ flor’s already here, we’re leaving to get blum and swirn soon

 **lanceylance:** and those are ur rides to and from post, correct

 **madplax:** yep

 **acxalutelynot:** mmhmm

 **lanceylance:** alrighty then

 

**_mattata > carrierpidgeon_ **

**mattata:** and how is my dear sweet sister

 **carrierpidgeon:** emilypaidformyicecreamandthenwewenttothecornerstoreandiboughtheraslushieisthishowromanceworks

 **mattata:** i read like 50% of that come again

 **carrierpidgeon:** WRETYHTRSGDNBR YOU READ THAT WHOLE THING AND YOU KNOW IT DON’T MAKE ME REPEAT IT

 **mattata:** lol yes i did

 **carrierpidgeon:** h o w

 **carrierpidgeon:** w h y

 **carrierpidgeon:** MATT WHY IS THIS MY LIFE

 **mattata:** didn’t u know

 **mattata:** everyone in the holt-brogane clan is either drawn to a little shit or is a little shit

 **carrierpidgeon:** BUT I THOUGHT I WAS THE LITTLE SHIT

 **mattata:** well then you’re a special case in which both things happened

 **mattata:** an anomaly

 **mattata:** a miracle child

 **mattata:** anyway kashi and lura are gonna go off to take pics of the seniors before prom and i’m gonna go with them, do u wanna come too

 **carrierpidgeon:** YES I NEED TO SEE MY HOT FRIENDS

 **carrierpidgeon:** gotta send them off before their long night

 **mattata:** they’re gonna be so tired tomorrow

 **carrierpidgeon:** wedfbrgefwegbgf if they ever even wake up to be tired

 **carrierpidgeon:** also speaking of tomorrow uhhh

 **carrierpidgeon:** a bunch of us are going to go to a science museum

 **carrierpidgeon:** in new york?

 **mattata:** wHAT

 **carrierpidgeon:** SHERRIE’S TAKING HER GF BUT SHE INVITED THE WHOLE GROUP OF US TO GO

 **carrierpidgeon:** I CAN’T SAY NO TO SCIENCE MATT

 **mattata:** have u even asked mom

 **carrierpidgeon:** uhhh more like i’m telling her?

 **mattata:** PIDGE

 **carrierpidgeon:** SCIENCE

 **mattata:** smh fine if she tries to fight you i’ll advocate on your behalf

 **mattata:** where are you right now

 **carrierpidgeon:** ...emily’s house

 **mattata:** YOU ALREADY MET THE PARENTS

 **carrierpidgeon:** MATT SHUT UP

 _(1) map from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HERE’S THE ADDRESS  B Y E

 

**_the jedi order_ **

_(27) photos from_ **_allurable_ **

_(29) photos from_ **_mattata_ **

_(41) photos from_ **_takashmeoutside_ **

_(15) photos from_ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** lmao i’ll send the ones from my phone later i don’t wanna have this thing dying on me in the middle of prom or post

 **lanceylance:** same

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^

 **hunkerdunker:** me too

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** you guys are never silent in the gc at school functions how’s it going

 **kogayne:** we’ve been taking nonstop photos and we just sat down and now we’re waiting for dinner

 **kogayne:** “dinner will be out at 7 be on time” it’s 7:30 we are STARVING

 **takashmeoutside:** you’re not starving

 **kogayne:** i don’t think i’ve eaten anything since after my lunch date with lance

 **takashmeoutside:** yes speaking of your boyfriend how is he

 _(3) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** the only photos any of you are getting until we get back to his place tonight

 **takashmeoutside:** nice

 **kogayne:** alright bye not trying to kill my battery there’s no wifi here

 **takashmeoutside:** how is there no wifi

 **kogayne:** it’s not unprotected and no one has the password

 **kogayne:** b y e

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** hi i have some photos from the night so far

 _(8) photos from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** i’ll send more to ur phone when i get home

 **mamamcclain:** I can’t believe my little boy is all grown up

 **lanceylance:** mamaaaaaa

 **lanceylance:** you can’t say thaaaaaaaaaaat

 **mamamcclain:** Yes I can, I’m your mother

 **mamamcclain:** now go on and enjoy the rest of your evening, tell your friends i say hi

 **mamamcclain:** no drinking or drugs

 **lanceylance:** yeah i know

 **mamamcclain:** you and keith behave

 **lanceylance:** MAMA

 **mamamcclain:** i know it’s your anniversary so have fun but be careful!!

 **lanceylance:** M A M A

 **mamamcclain:** te quiero :)

 **lanceylance:** do’nt smile at me like that ekcixjwhwv

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** I FUCKING LOVE LANCE THAT’S ALL I’M GONNA SAY RIGHT NOW

 **takashmeoutside:** what did you do

 **takashmeoutside:** keith

 **takashmeoutside:** KEITH

 **takashmeoutside:** KEITH AKIRA KOGANE

 

**_< 3_ **

_(1) photo from_ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** why is he like this

 **allurable:** but what did he do

 **takashmeoutside:** I DONT KNOW

 **allurable:** u don’t think

 **mattata:** why would they do such a thing at prom

 **allurable:** Teenagers™

 **mattata:** THEY SAID ALL TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUTTA ME

 **allurable:** hush emo

 **takashmeoutside:** mmmmmmmm i don’t

 **takashmeoutside:** think so

 **takashmeoutside:** i feel like they’re more responsible

 **mattata:** hmmm

 **takashmeoutside:** you know what? i’ve decided i don’t even wanna know

 

**_the jedi order_ **

_(5) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** my boyfriend truly is a king

 **allurable:** HE WON???

 **kogayne:** :)

 **mattata:** who got queen

 **kogayne:** ezor lmao

 **allurable:** u just cannot separate ur squads can u

 **kogayne:** nope

  


**_the jedi order_ **

**kogayne:** we’re alive

 **carrierpidgeon:** drat

 **kogayne:** PIDGE

 **carrierpidgeon:** i mean yayyy

 **kogayne:** we’re on the party bus and we’re on our way back to lance’s, just thought i’d let y’all know

 **allurable:** have fun at post!!!

 **takashmeoutside:** don’t do anything dangerous

 **takashmeoutside:** such as swinging a golf club around in a wild fit of sleep-deprived rage

 **mattata:** stop shading me u hoe

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** hunk shay where did y’all go

 **hunkerdunker:** we’re gonna go do funbowl

 **lanceylance:** aight, boyf and i are hitting the rinks

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** IT’S ALMOST 2:45

 **lanceylance:** WHERE ARE YOU TWO

 **hunkerdunker:** I HAVE TO WIN

 **lanceylance:** RAFFLE DRAWING STARTS IN FIVE MINUTES

 **hunkerdunker:** LANCE

 **kogayne:** DO Y’ALL WANT THE CHANCE TO WIN A TV OR NOT

 **shayfromstatefarm:** you fool, i put in for the laptop

 **kogayne:** JUST GET DOWN HERE WOULD YOU

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** lol do u want a new tv for the guest room

 **mamamcclain:** what?

 **lanceylance:** there was a raffle at post-prom

 **lanceylance:** i won a tv

 **mamamcclain:** WHAT

 **mamamcclain:** bring it to college!!! isn’t that the point?

 **lanceylance:** alright alright just making sure u didn’t want it or anything

 **lanceylance:** everyone’s gonna be back at the house soon

 **lanceylance:** half of us are ready to wipe out and half of us are too hyper so uhhh Beware

 **mamamcclain:** oh dear

 **mamamcclain:** well, it’s your prom weekend, it only happens once, so enjoy it

 **mamamcclain:** i’ll be asleep when you get home but i’ll leave the front door unlocked

 **lanceylance:** thanks mama

 **lanceylance:** love u

 **mamamcclain:** te quiero

 

**_the jedi order_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** finally back at the mcclain house

 **shayfromstatefarm:** good night everyone

 **allurable:** good night!! i expect to hear about everything tomorrow morning!!!!!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** yeah yeah, hunk keith and lance also say good night

 **shayfromstatefarm:** wait why are y’all awake

 **takashmeoutside:** making sure you all got home safe

 **mattata:** night!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i got a $20 giftcard to bed bath and beyond
> 
> anyway the plan now is for me to write a really really long klance-centric oneshot that takes place throughout the entirety of this chapter, starting right at the beginning of the morning (when the squad wakes up for school) and all through the end of the night
> 
> don't know how long that'll take to write, i also wanna work on sgd, so uhhh,,,, see u whenever


	127. HAPPY HELL WEEK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's hell week aka the squad has the musical and ap exams this week sos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brain: eileen, pls work on sgd or the oneshot or the other oneshots or the abc series or literally anything other than this hellfic  
> me, sitting in rehearsal: [opens new word doc to start chapter]  
> brain: EILEEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FINISH THAT LATER  
> me, typing: what i can't hear u  
> brain: E I L E E N  
> me: i miss klance  
> brain: u can have klance sooner if u work on the other stuff  
> me, stubbornly: IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION
> 
> lol anyway here's the chapter

**_lanceylance > kogayne _ **

**lanceylance:** morning baby please hit me with a bus

**kogayne:** okay no why

**lanceylance:** this week

**lanceylance:** i don’t wanna do this week

**lanceylance:** i want the week to be over

**lanceylance:** idc if it’s the musical it’s been so chaotic i just wanna be done with it im over it

**kogayne:** shhh everything will be okay

**lanceylance:** no sets no costumes half the cast doesn’t know their lines or blocking we’re gonna be at school till 8 every night and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** the show is gonna come together, it always does

**lanceylance:** i can feel my allergies kicking in

**kogayne:** people are also getting sick

**lanceylance:** NO THIS WILL NOT BE SOUND OF MUSIC ALL OVER AGAIN

**kogayne:** stock up on ur cough drops and cold medicine, drink a lot of water

**kogayne:** sleep on time

**lanceylance:** that’s rich coming from u

**kogayne:** yeah yeah laugh it up

**lanceylance:** but thanks

**kogayne:** gotchu

**kogayne:** u want me to do the driving today

**lanceylance:** aww ur willing to drive me to the ap exam

**kogayne:** of course?

**lanceylance:** awwwwwwwwwwwww :)

**kogayne:** i can already tell ur getting sick rip

**lanceylance:** NOOOOOOO I REFUSE

**lanceylance:** I’M A MAIN CHARACTER I CAN’T

**kogayne:** then get healthier sleeping habits

**lanceylance:** fuck u 

**kogayne:** whoa lemme take u on a date first

**lanceylance:** ur the worst

**kogayne:** :) i know

**lanceylance:** ugh i don’t mean that

**kogayne:** :) i know

**kogayne:** im coming by early so we can grab brunch before the exam

**lanceylance:** from where

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ wherever u want

**lanceylance:** i love you

**kogayne:** love u too i’ll be there soon

 

**_the jedi order_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_the jedi order_ ** _ to  _ **_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** this week is actually going to be the death of me

**mattata:** oooooo hell week good luck my guy

**lanceylance:** it’s even more hellish than usual i’m going to run in front of a bus

**kogayne:** no,

**allurable:** what’s up

**lanceylance:** ap psych exam today i dont wanna take it

**kogayne:** lol no one knows what’s going on

**takashmeoutside:** did you study

**kogayne:** it was prom weekend do u really think anyone studied

**hunkerdunker:** half of the kids in ap psych spent the weekend high or wasted, according to snapchat

**mattata:** aaaah snapchat

**shayfromstatefarm:** i tried to binge crash course videos yesterday and woke up this morning with a dead laptop and keyboard markings on my face

**carrierpidgeon:** way to go paul

**kogayne:** and how has the school day been without us so far pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** better than i thought

**carrierpidgeon:** i have a new lunch table

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t need u hoes anymore

**kogayne:** wow tell me how u really feel

**carrierpidgeon:** (⌐■_■) 

**lanceylance:** it’s okay keith /i/ love u

**kogayne:** :) <3333

**mattata:** again with this

**kogayne:** let us love each other

**takashmeoutside:** disgustingly in love even after two years 

**kogayne:** and we’ll still be disgustingly in love when we’re old and gray and terrorizing everyone in our nursing home 

**carrierpidgeon:** of course

**shayfromstatefarm:** you’re not calling them disgusting

**carrierpidgeon:** i am warming up to the idea of love

**carrierpidgeon:** affection is nice

**mattata:** who are u and what have u done w my baby sister

**kogayne:** :) im porous

**lanceylance:** yes i know i need to fix ur beauty regimen 

**kogayne:** *proud u ass

**lanceylance:** ;D

**hunkerdunker:** amazing

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway back to why hell week is even more hellish

**shayfromstatefarm:** the lit and physics exam are both wednesday and also it’s the last night before opening

**lanceylance:** i have the spanish exam in the morning tomorrow and then i’m coming right back to school

**lanceylance:** im probably gonna miss lunch :)))

**kogayne:** go get lunch before u come to school wtf

**lanceylance:** fine

**shayfromstatefarm:** nhs induction is wednesday and new and past members have to be present so we have to dip early

**hunkerdunker:** senior night and initiation night are both this week

**takashmeoutside:** what why is everything at once

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE THIS SCHOOL CAN’T SCHEDULE FOR SHIT

**kogayne:** we’re suffering

**shayfromstatefarm:** s u f f e r i n g

**allurable:** wow...what poor unfortunate souls…

**lanceylance:** GET OUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** BYE

**kogayne:** CANCELLED

**hunkerdunker:** UNFRIENDED BLOCKED REPORTED

 

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**lanceylance:** LOLOLOLOLOLOL THAT WHOLE EXAM WAS AWFUL I RETAINED NOTHING FROM ANTOK’S CLASS

**mattata:** how bad

**shayfromstatefarm:** everyone read the first question on the open-ended and burst out laughing incredulously

**lanceylance:** so then did everyone do 2 first

**hunkerdunker:** yeppp

**kogayne:** lmfao yeah

**shayfromstatefarm:** of course

**kogayne:** i also guessed on literally every question on the multiple choice

**hunkerdunker:** on the bright side everyone gets at LEAST a 1

**lanceylance:** we are all number one

**kogayne:** no that meme is staying dead

**kogayne:** pidge what have we missed at rehearsal

**carrierpidgeon:** uhhh the stage is a mess of set stuff like u can barely walk

**carrierpidgeon:** we’ve just been doing costume stuff the whole time

**lanceylance:** aight we’re all on our way now

**carrierpidgeon:** did u all go together

**hunkerdunker:** no shay grabbed me and keith grabbed lance but we’re all leaving at the same time be there soon bye 

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** they must be desperate

**mattata:** what

**mattata:** whomst

**takashmeoutside:** i just got a call from one of their set guys

**takashmeoutside:** we went to school with him

**takashmeoutside:** they need my help

**allurable:** cofksmsnsn do u need additional help

**takashmeoutside:** uhhh gonna need to send u in my place considering matt and i are both at work rn

**allurable:** i’ll do it tell the dude i’m in

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** “isn’t she tiny?”

**allurable:** TINY MY ASS

**allurable:** I HAVE THE STRENGTH OF AN AMAZON WOMAN

**allurable:** ILL WALK INTO THAT FUCKING AUDITORIUM IN MY WONDER WOMAN TIGHTS

**mattata:** you’ll get dress-coded for your legs

**allurable:** i am an adult

**mattata:** do u think the administration cares

**allurable:** u right

**takashmeoutside:** i told him u can benchpress me and he said you can prove it when u haul around those big-ass set pieces

**allurable:** fucking bet

 

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**kogayne:** i need everyone here to appreciate lance in his costume bc wow i can’t believe that’s all mine

_ (6) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** but wait that’s not all!!!

**kogayne:** look at my best friends hunk and shay wowee

_ (8) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**allurable:** “wowee” who even are you

**kogayne:** i love my boyfriend and my best friends let me LIVE

**kogayne:** let me finally be happy for once in my high school career

**takashmeoutside:** you have a month left

**kogayne:** did i fucking stutter

**lanceylance:** KEITH TRGNHTGREBFE

**kogayne:** LANCE WHAT

**lanceylance:** THESE PHOTOS ARE GORGEOUS WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** yeah bc ur in them

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow smooth

**shayfromstatefarm:** anyway i look amazing in my costume thank god they had another corset

**allurable:** I HEARD FASHION

**shayfromstatefarm:** wfebtrewfrve the original corset they had for me? does not fit my physique

**shayfromstatefarm:** it was too tiny just about everywhere

**shayfromstatefarm:** and ??? there was so much unnecessary padding on the boobs??? wtf

**shayfromstatefarm:** why do boobs need so much padding

**allurable:** so u can Seduce

**mattata:** could u call them,,,, /alluring/

**allurable:** i dunno matthew u answer that

**lanceylance:** OKAY NVM

**kogayne:** what

**kogayne:** OH

**kogayne:** /ALLURA/

**allurable:** OHHHH OKAY I SEE

**allurable:** so when /lance/ does it it’s “endearing” but when /i/ do it it’s “out of line” and “gross, allura, take it elsewhere”

**kogayne:** well,

**takashmeoutside:** why did i open the chat again

**allurable:** hi kashi!! i love u!!!!

**takashmeoutside:** ...mmmhm...am i required to answer the question that matt’s avoiding orrr

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**allurable:** yes absolutely

**shayfromstatefarm:** I’M AN INNOCENT ONE I DON’T DESERVE THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** “innocent”

**hunkerdunker:** HUSH PIDGE

**takashmeoutside:** oh?

**carrierpidgeon:** I’VE HEARD SOME HOT GOSSIP FROM THE PROM KIDS

**hunkerdunker:** PIDGE

**shayfromstatefarm:** W H O M S T

**carrierpidgeon:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunnoooo maaaaaaan really wild

**allurable:** WHAT PROM GOSSIP

**kogayne:** WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PROM GROUP STAYS IN THE PROM GROUP PIDGE IS JUST AN EAVESDROPPING GREMLIN

**carrierpidgeon:** huehuehuehuehuehuehue

**lanceylance:** i’m scrolling thru twitter and i think when pidge gets older she should become a college board grader and stalk twitter to see whose scores get cancelled

**hunkerdunker:** that’s literally evil

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**hunkerdunker:** oh nice ron

**hunkerdunker:** lance look what you’ve done

**lanceylance:** my duty

**carrierpidgeon:** >:)

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** pls go get me food,,, i am Hunger

**kogayne:** it’s not dinner yet

**lanceylance:** but is crew doing anything?

**kogayne:** ,,, not at the moment

**lanceylance:** dinner is only 25 minutes we’ll never make it someplace and back in time for me to actually eat

**kogayne:** fair point what do u want

**lanceylance:** chicken fuckin nuggets

**kogayne:** chickens fucking nuggets is a little obscene, don’t u think

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** coffee or water

**lanceylance:** MORE COFFEE

**kogayne:** tell me u thought to bring water with u then

**lanceylance:** [sigh] yes mom i have water

**kogayne:** mom? not daddy?

**lanceylance:** if u wanted ur boyf to have a daddy kink then u looked in the wrong place

**kogayne:** fretnegwbtewf

**kogayne:** amazing

**kogayne:** i’m leaving right now, u staying here

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** thank u starliiiiiiiiiiiight

**kogayne:** yeah yeah i got u

**kogayne:** i expect cuddles to make up for this later

**lanceylance:** :O what kind of boyfriend would i be if i didn’t give u cuddles

**lanceylance:** [clutches chest] i thought u knew me better, guess i was mistaken

**kogayne:** i’d drag this out but i’m getting in my car and i’m a Safe Driver so i’ll see u when i get back love u blah blah affection

**lanceylance:** a true romantic

 

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**lanceylance:** so wait did we ever get a response from shiro and matt

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY WOULD YOU BRING IT BACK UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUSH LANCE

**mattata:** isn’t allura in the auditorium helping with set stuff

**lanceylance:** THAT /WAS/ HER?

**allurable:** oop

**allurable:** yes hello hi i’m here to sabotage ur show i mean help set up ur show

**lanceylance:** amazing

**allurable:** anyway matt called me to give me his answer and made shiro speak up too but for now their answers shall remain mysteries

**shayfromstatefarm:** thank god

**carrierpidgeon:** i heard the call they both said yes

**shayfromstatefarm:**  P I D G E

**hunkerdunker:** file this under things i never needed or wanted to know

**kogayne:** i am an innocent gay i don’t need this

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ve already gone through the “innocent” shtick once today everyone knows you’re not innocent

**lanceylance:** ;)

**allurable:** SO WHEN I DO THINGS IT’S NOT OKAY BUT WITH LANCE IT’S ENDEARING

**kogayne:** have u considered: that’s my boyfriend

**allurable:** have u considered: I Don’t Care

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** what did the director say none of the underclassmen back here will shut up and i’m stuck between set pieces

**kogayne:** he said

**kogayne:** wait what do u mean stuck

**lanceylance:** not important what did the director say

**kogayne:** since the sets are a pain in the ass to move he needs set crew to stay and do a run with just moving sets

**kogayne:** but cast is free to go

**lanceylance:** i mean i’m not allowed to move sets but do u want me to wait

**kogayne:** nah it’s alright

**lanceylance:** u sure? bc if i get home there’s a fair chance i crash

**kogayne:** i’ll come over and if u’ve crashed i’ll just worm my way into ur arms it’s fine

**lanceylance:** i also have exams tomorrow and u don’t,,,

**kogayne:** so i’ll make sure ur up for ur exam and i’ll be up for school

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmm okie doke

**kogayne:** school starts before exams and ur coming to school after, right

**lanceylance:** yes

**kogayne:** so i drop my car at home, i walk to ur place bc it’s nice out, and then u drop me at school tomorrow?

**lanceylance:** sounds like a plan to me

**lanceylance:** be careful by urself okay

**kogayne:** i carry a knife on me 24/7

**lanceylance:** okay but i mean it be careful i love u

**kogayne:** love u too

**lanceylance:** alright bye gonna get myself unstuck and track down hunk

**kogayne:** HOW DID U END UP STUCK

**lanceylance:** I GOT PUSHED THESE LITTLE CHILDREN ARE MEAN

**kogayne:** u,,, u got pushed by an elementary schooler

**lanceylance:** hush

**lanceylance:** i got pushed by multiple of them in a stampede

**kogayne:** smh can’t believe

**lanceylance:** boi

**kogayne:** do u need help or not

**lanceylance:** i think i’ve got it

**lanceylance:** anyway see u later i love uuuuuuuu

**kogayne:** u already said that

**lanceylance:** what are u complaining about my love knife boy

**kogayne:** no no not at all pls continue

**lanceylance:** i’ll continue plenty if i’m still awake when u get to my house

**lanceylance:** <333

**kogayne:** :)  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: pls don't let brain parts be on the ap exam  
> ap exam: [laughs]  
> me: FUCK
> 
> this week is gonna kick my ass squad up is easiest to write on my phone/at school so expect squad up this week maybe if i don't die
> 
> peace out see u whenever


	128. NIGHT 1: don't wanna be where the drama club is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's opening night and things are looking,,, shall we say,,, not good.... _no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm dead tired here's the chapter

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**lanceylance:** my throat is slightly sore on OPENING NIGHT i blame the juniors for this

**takashmeoutside:** good morning to you too?

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** everyone is getting sick sets aren’t holding the lights came down out of nowhere yesterday and almost killed someone and IT’S ALL THE JUNIORS

**allurable:** what happened with the juniors?

**lanceylance:** apparently

**lanceylance:** about two weeks ago

**lanceylance:** some of them were discussing shakespeare backstage

**lanceylance:** and someone said “macbeth”

**mattata:** cndjdjdiksdjdndjs

**lanceylance:** instead of leaving it at that, their friend

**lanceylance:** who doesn’t believe in superstitions

**lanceylance:** proceeded to CHANT MACBETH’S NAME

**allurable:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**lanceylance:** this show is falling apart the DAY OF

**mattata:** dont u guys also do previews all day

**lanceylance:** my voice is gonna be Gone by sunday

**lanceylance:** there is not enough tea in the world to keep my throat solid

**carrierpidgeon:** when u first said tea i thought u meant drama

**lanceylance:** oh no we have plenty of that, three different kids tried to drop the show this week and a sophomore spent all of wednesday learning someone’s lines to understudy

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah i know I Was There

**lanceylance:** listen i am so stressed i have no concept of what’s happening anymore i’m taking each day at a time and SCREAMING

**allurable:** that doesn’t sound healthy

**hunkerdunker:** not healthy but mega relatable

**hunkerdunker:** i coughed this morning it’s all gonna be downhill from here

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^ sore throat

**kogayne:** i sneezed

**carrierpidgeon:** boi u almost got taken out by a light

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH IS THE ONE WHO ALMOST GOT KILLED BY THE LIGHTS?

**lanceylance:** didn’t wanna stress u out but uhhh Yeah

**kogayne:** :) i saw my life flash before my eyes and it was mostly me being emo i need to Live

**takashmeoutside:** about fucking time

**allurable:** wow i can’t believe it took a near-death at the hands of the lights

**kogayne:** it almost destroyed that fUCKING GROTTO

**carrierpidgeon:** sound crew > set crew

**mattata:** i wanna hear about this grotto

**kogayne:** bane of set crew’s existence

**kogayne:** there are two pieces and they’re on either side of the stage and they’re pains in the asses to move

**kogayne:** and the curtains never line up where they should bc they’re at either end of the curtain and it’s messy and THEN

**mattata:** there’s /more/

**kogayne:** there’s the scene where triton destroys the grotto so we have to flip the pieces around and the audience can SEE US if we do it wrong which is incredibly easy to do

**kogayne:** we hate them

**carrierpidgeon:** crew normally wears all black but they like, really need to do it

**kogayne:** long sleeves, gloves, /they even wanna get us masks/

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^ a kid walked in with a mask and he looked like the ghost of christmas future

**kogayne:** AND IT’S ALSO LIKE THAT FOR URSULA’S THRONE

**shayfromstatefarm:** :) i spend the whole musical sitting and get to be wheeled around

**kogayne:** -_- set crew has to move her throne during the numbers and we can be seen

**kogayne:** so now i gotta sweat to death 

**lanceylance:** if it’s any consolation ur sexy in all black

**takashmeoutside:** smh take ur flirting outside of the group chat

**lanceylance:** uhhh we’re backstage rn for previews don’t worry about it

**shayfromstatefarm:** theyre being even more gross in person trust me

**lanceylance:** ;D

**lanceylance:** the previews are mostly the mermaids, i get plenty of time for backstage cuddles today and i’m excited :3

**allurable:** but ur sick

**lanceylance:** not quite

**hunkerdunker:** theyre joined at the hip, as soon as one sneezes it’s already too late for the other

**kogayne:** ^

**takashmeoutside:** im not ready to deal with two sick teenage boys 

**kogayne:** nah u did a lot of taking care of us last time, it’s mrs mcclain’s turn

**kogayne:** im not opposed to spending the weekend downing soup

**mattata:** random question do ur friends ever call u out for pda

**mattata:** outside of this gc

**shayfromstatefarm:** i gave up last year

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**mattata:** i said outside of the gc

**shayfromstatefarm:** tragic

**lanceylance:** i mean,, sometimes

**kogayne:** have u considered that we don’t care tho

**lanceylance:** i Love him

**carrierpidgeon:** plax yells at them on a daily basis

**lanceylance:** it’s not like we’re /always/ gross

**kogayne:** actually compared to our usual, grossness is a rarity

**takashmeoutside:** sounds fake but okay

**kogayne:** we mostly just cuddle

**lanceylance:** or hold hands

**kogayne:** or nap on each other

**allurable:** doesn’t that count as cuddling

**kogayne:** let me live

**lanceylance:** point is we just

**lanceylance:** enjoy physical affection 

**kogayne:** and we can’t just put on an invisibility cloak so sORRY if handholding makes u mad

**lanceylance:** im not sorry

**kogayne:** actually same

**carrierpidgeon:** ...admirable

**kogayne:** thanks bro

**carrierpidgeon:** ur welcome bro

**lanceylance:** >:O bro culture belongs to me and hunk

**hunkerdunker:** bro i cant believe they’d do this to us

**lanceylance:** i know bro

**hunkerdunker:** i love u bro

**lanceylance:** love u too bro

**lanceylance:** don’t let the wannabros get u down

**mattata:** wannabros…

**allurable:** warner brothers?

**lanceylance:** WANNABE BROS

**hunkerdunker:** smh these fakes

**lanceylance:** i knowww

**kogayne:** :o wow i’m a fake??????? that’s it we’re breaking up

**lanceylance:** later loser

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** they say, as they continue to cuddle

**lanceylance:** :)

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** u manage to sing better and better every time just wanted to say it now before i forgot bc  h o l y s h i t

_ (1) video from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** that’s my fucking boy right there

**kogayne:** stop making me feel things, fucker

**kogayne:** u do these things to me and???? aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** is it bad that sometimes i just

**kogayne:** pretend ur singing about me

**kogayne:** just

**kogayne:** swapping the pronouns and calling it a day

**kogayne:** i really just fucking love you

**kogayne:** you are

**kogayne:** so fucking perfect

**kogayne:** everything else is falling apart but tonight i have the utmost confidence in u

**kogayne:** if everything else is complete and utter trash everyone’s gonna walk out of the auditorium going “but eric was AMAZING”

**kogayne:** u absolute king

**kogayne:** love you

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** I GOT OFF THE STAGE

**hunkerdunker:** yes i was in that number too i too got off the stage

**lanceylance:** AND I CHECKED MY PHO okay listen

**lanceylance:** u hoe

**hunkerdunker:** listening hoe

**lanceylance:** I CHECKED MY PHONE AND???

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** HE!!!!!!

**lanceylance:** I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

**lanceylance:** making a shitty production better

**hunkerdunker:** did ur boyfriend just insinuate i cannot sing

**lanceylance:** omfg sdkcjkwkwbc

**lanceylance:** he doesn’t mean it hunk ur an absolute angel

**lanceylance:** u me and shay are the only good parts of this showwwww

**hunkerdunker:** plax? lotor? ez?

**lanceylance:** we are the Best 

**lanceylance:** they’re okay

**hunkerdunker:** half of your success hinges on plax

**lanceylance:** she is voiceless in almost every interaction i have with her 

**lanceylance:** if anything her success hinges on /me/, hunketh

**hunkerdunker:** wow narcissistic much

**lanceylance:** all the time

**hunkerdunker:** smh i know ur poor mother didn’t raise u this way

**lanceylance:** we all know luis and veronica raised me this way

**hunkerdunker:** i think everyone you’ve ever wronged should gang up on u three and give u a piece of their minds

**lanceylance:** smh like my enemies haven’t tried that already, i’m fucking invincible

**hunkerdunker:** except for your sore throat

**lanceylance:** my thrussy 3:

**hunkerdunker:** excuse me your WHAT

**lanceylance:** MY

**lanceylance:** THRUSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

**hunkerdunker:** pls never ever say that again

**lanceylance:** WANNA KNOW WHY IT’S CALLED THAT

**hunkerdunker:** NO

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE I CAN SEE U GRINNING I WILL COME OVER THERE AND DECK U I DON’T CARE IF KEITH IS WATCHING

**lanceylance:** hunketh?? theatening violence???? IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN AUDITORIUM?

**hunkerdunker:** THIS IS A SHITSHOW NOTHING IS SACRED

 

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**lanceylance:** WE’VE BEEN RUNNING PREVIEWS ALL DAY AND THEN WE’RE HAVING A FULL RUN AFTER SCHOOL WHICH WILL CUT RIGHT INTO CALL TIME

**lanceylance:** DINNER BREAK? WE DON’T KNOW HER

**kogayne:** shiro matt allura one of u pls bring us food we are Dying

**carrierpidgeon:** TENSION HEADACHES WOOOOOOO

**takashmeoutside:** are you all down with subpar mcdonalds bc that’s the only restaurant between target and ur school

**shayfromstatefarm:** JUST GIVE US THE NUGGS WE ARE DESPERATE

**mattata:** just how desperate are we talking

**kogayne:** M A T T

**takashmeoutside:** ignore him i have u five covered

**allurable:** when do u two get out bc i can do it like right now

**carrierpidgeon:** P L E A S E

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^!!!!!!

**takashmeoutside:** do it

**allurable:** okie doke nuggs fries and shakes everyone cool

**kogayne:** yes yes now gO

**allurable:** I’M GOING

**kogayne:** FASTER

**allurable:** SHUT UP KEITH

**kogayne:** YOU’RE CLEARLY NOT GOING IF YOU’RE TEXTING

**mattata:** hehasapoint

**allurable:** SHUT UP MATT

**kogayne:** THANKS MATT

 

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** commentary from the sound booth:

**carrierpidgeon:** “we need to turn her mic down unless we wanna go deaf”

**carrierpidgeon:** “his mic is all the way up and we still can’t hear him so who volunteers to read his lines while he lip-syncs”

**carrierpidgeon:** “this is the most hideous lighting we’ve had since….midsummer” “midsummer was our last show” “did i fucking stutter”

**carrierpidgeon:** “can we just let the seniors do the whole show”

**carrierpidgeon:** “the next time flotsam misses her cue i’m going to run on that stage and be flotsam myself”

**carrierpidgeon:** “does grimsby...actually...even know his lines” “that’s...u can’t be serious oF COURSE HE DOESN’T”

**allurable:** wtf is going on in that hell school

**allurable:** is this why keith looked ready to kill a man when he sprinted outside to get ur food

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** that run was even more of a disaster than previews i’m afraid of the actual show

**carrierpidgeon:** bitch me too

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** we’re going all three nights, correct

**takashmeoutside:** to count the inconsistencies across shows to figure out what got ad-libbed and what got missed entirely? obviously

**mattata:** here for that sweet hot tea

**allurable:** who’s getting who, who gets shotgun, what’s going on

**mattata:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** rock paper scissors?

**mattata:** loser drives

**mattata:** ONE

**mattata:** TWO

**mattata:** THREE

**allurable:** SCISSORS

**takashmeoutside:** ROCK

**mattata:** PAPER

**allurable:** ...well fuck who drives

**mattata:** uhhh try again

**mattata:** ONE

**mattata:** TWO

**mattata:** THREE

**mattata:** PAPER

**allurable:** SCISSORS

**takashmeoutside:** SCISSORS

**mattata:** ,,, welp i’ll pick y’all up soon

**allurable:** shiro we gotta fistfight over shotgun

**takashmeoutside:** winner gets shotgun

**mattata:** READY ONE

**mattata:** TWO

**mattata:** THREE

**allurable:** SCISSORS

**takashmeoutside:** PAPER

**takashmeoutside:** FUCK

**allurable:** AHA

 

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**lanceylance:** i am going to kill all of my sailors and fire grimsby

**mattata:** yike yike yike that opening

**allurable:** plax was good!!! 

**allurable:** but fathoms below???? yeah below the bar

**kogayne:** i mean the bar was already on the ground now they’re just...digging underneath it

**shayfromstatefarm:** don’t worry flotsam will inevitably mess up my scene

**hunkerdunker:** and i’m sure several mersisters will screw up again

**lanceylance:** I DESIRE TO EXPIRE

**lanceylance:** NOT TO SOUND LIKE THAT ONE GIRL FROM CAMP ROCK BUT THIS IS NOT AMATEUR NIGHT

**kogayne:** we need to save our show from the people who don’t know the difference between a tony award and tony hawk

**lanceylance:** DID YOU JUST QUOTE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

**kogayne:** ...maybe

**lanceylance:** WHERE ARE YOU I’M GONNA KISS UR FACE RIGHT NOW

**kogayne:** u can’t get covered in glitter sorry

**takashmeoutside:** why are you covered in glitter??

**kogayne:** he got bored with his makeup again and all the mersisters and the eels have glitter but he wasn’t allowed so he did the next best thing

**kogayne:** which was to put it on /my/ face

**shayfromstatefarm:** erhg rgebfdw gonna break up the lovefest but that quote totally reminded me of why i supported sharpay and not troy and gabriella

**lanceylance:** BIG MOOD SHE GOT DONE SO DIRTY FOR DEFENDING HER PASSION

**lanceylance:** SHE WANTED TO GO TO COLLEGE FOR THIS SHIT AND MAKE IT HER CAREER

**lanceylance:** AND THESE NEWBIES WITH COMMITMENT ISSUES JUST STROLL IN AND SNATCH HER ROLE LIKE???? THAT’S SO SHITTY AND THAT’S NOT HOW THEATRE WORKS

**lanceylance:** U MISS UR CALLBACK OR U MISS UR CUE UR DIRECTOR SHOULD BE FIRING U

**lanceylance:** u know, unless u go to this hell school

**lanceylance:** anyway byeeee gotta get ready for act 2 uh-huh

**hunkerdunker:** get reADY FOR ACT TWO UH-HUH

**shayfromstatefarm:** GET READY FOR ACT TWO UH-HUH

**mattata:** man i miss that hell club sometimes

 

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** OF ALL SCENES TO MESS UP IT HAD TO BE MY DEATH SCENE

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** she almost broke that fucking throne and i am sick of that fucking throne you know what i wish she would’ve done it I AM TIRED OF THAT FUCKING CHAIR

**kogayne:** WE HAVEN’T HAD IT FOR A WEEK AND I WANT TO SET IT ON FIRE

**shayfromstatefarm:** can i be sitting on it when it gets set ablaze,

**lanceylance:** no,

**shayfromstatefarm:** WELL FUCK

**allurable:** u guys did good!!! can’t say the same for half ur castmates but u guys killed it!!!

**lanceylance:** i wish “it” was me

**hunkerdunker:** u literally just called out shay

**lanceylance:** yeah but this is my Brand

**allurable:** here i’ll justify his desires: u all still have school tomorrow

**carrierpidgeon:** NOOOOOOOOOO

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**kogayne:** rip

**hunkerdunker:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**shayfromstatefarm:** pls,,, pls no

**lanceylance:** :(((((((

**lanceylance:** alright then imma get my shit get some tea and go to bed

**kogayne:** shiro i’m going with lance

**takashmeoutside:** have fun

**carrierpidgeon:** can i come i want tea

**hunkerdunker:** i’m also going to get tea

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge i got u

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks shay!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

**allurable:** welp good night kids hope ur friday is better

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** do u think if i pose as a student they’ll let me fill in for some of those kids

**mattata:** ergtryewfbgferfg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of the complaints are real and some are made up mostly bc i gave the squad the roles of characters who are currently fucking up so i had to change them, in all actuality i love flotsam we are quite the pair
> 
> anyway i have a headache and school in the morning rip rip potato chip bye


	129. NIGHT 2: and now the sneezes start coming and they don't stop coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the friday chapter. they're getting progressively sicker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lolololol it's sunday morning imma go write the saturday chapter while y'all read this
> 
> prepare for an unusual amount of inappropriate jokes sorrrrrrrrrrrrrry i'm tired

**_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ **

**lanceylance:** MY VOICE IS EVEN WORSE AND MY NOSE IS GETTING STUFFY

**kogayne:** ^^ i also feel worse

**allurable:** you know this wouldn’t happen if you detached from each other every once in a while

**lanceylance:** i want coffee but i take my coffee light and it’s not good for my throat so i have tea and i am SUFFERING

**carrierpidgeon:** HI SUFFERING,

**lanceylance:** f u c k  o f f p i d g e

**hunkerdunker:** you fuckers got me sick

**shayfromstatefarm:** fair chance i show up /tomorrow/ running a fever bc it’s all going downhill from here

**lanceylance:** suffering squad™

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_HAPPY HELL WEEK_ ** _ to  _ **_suffering squad™_ **

**kogayne:** but on the bright side(???? is there a bright side) IT’S DINER NIGHT

**lanceylance:** i’ll be glad for diner night if i don’t collapse on stage first

**takashmeoutside:** we’re going to the shows again tonight do u guys need cough drops or medicine or

**lanceylance:** flor actually brought like

**lanceylance:** 20 bags of cough drops to rehearsal yesterday

**shayfromstatefarm:** and we went thru about 12 so yES PLEASE

**takashmeoutside:** alright then

**takashmeoutside:** should i show up early and bring more tea

**hunkerdunker:** depends on if we have rehearsal after school today

**kogayne:** ^^^ we don’t know if there’s rehearsal after That Performance

**lanceylance:** pls god,,,, i need to sleep

**kogayne:** u can’t sleep after school, you’ll never wake up for call

**lanceylance:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**shayfromstatefarm:** nap during school

**shayfromstatefarm:** i walked into design looking entirely dead this morning and checked google classroom and my assignment from my teacher was

**shayfromstatefarm:** “sleep. please get rest.”

**kogayne:** MUST BE NICE

**lanceylance:** are u also on self-imposed vocal rest

**shayfromstatefarm:** duh? poor unfortunate souls is draining my life force i am dying

**kogayne:** rip

**hunkerdunker:** i am also on vocal rest mostly to avoid people asking me about the show yesterday

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** look i made a little sign and everything

**lanceylance:** omg me too

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** SIGN SQUAD

_ (1) photo from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**allurable:** this is adorable

**mattata:** u guys didn’t even make puns or memes i am disappointed™

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re dead inside what more do u want from us

**takashmeoutside:** shay if ur assignment is to sleep this period why are u in the gc

**shayfromstatefarm:** shit u right bye

**hunkerdunker:** bye shay  <333

**shayfromstatefarm:** <33333

**lanceylance:** see u two period 3

**shayfromstatefarm:** see u then

**hunkerdunker:** imma hop out too

**hunkerdunker:** just got permission from my culinary teacher to use the rest of the period to make sore throat remedies byeeeeee

**lanceylance:** HUNK PLS BRING ME SOME AND SHAY TOO

**hunkerdunker:** what kind of best friend and boyfriend would i be if i didn’t

**lanceylance:** LOVE YOU

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** u cool if i just text u most of the day to save my throat

**kogayne:** i can use this situation to my advantage and make u flustered and u can’t scream at me for it

**lanceylance:** oh nO NOT AGAIN

**kogayne:** but yes of course rest ur voice

**lanceylance:** hey did u know i love u

**kogayne:** wow must’ve slipped my mind

**lanceylance:** welllllllllllll i love u

**kogayne:** :) i love u too mr. “i can’t talk bc i sing so well that my voice must’ve been blessed by apollo or aphrodite or someone and now they’re jealous and ruining my throat to spite me”

**lanceylance:** wow what a nerd

**kogayne:** i am a nerd thanks for noticing

**lanceylance:** keith: admits he’s a nerd over text

**lanceylance:** also keith: gets defensive when called a nerd irl

**lanceylance:** choose one, mullet boi

**kogayne:** no i do what i want

**lanceylance:** unbelievable

**kogayne:** believe it sick boi

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmmmmm i’m so exhausted that on the way out of antok’s class i got dizzy so that’s fun

**kogayne:** wtf that’s not GOOD

**lanceylance:** i know

**lanceylance:** after the diner i’m spending the whole night and all of saturday sLEEPING

**kogayne:** let me in on that

**lanceylance:** p l e a s e  we all know i’m gonna wake up sicker on saturday and imma need those sweet sweet Boyfriend Cuddles

**kogayne:** good thing i can provide those

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaah love keith cuddles

**lanceylance:** best cuddles

**lanceylance:** softest cuddles

**kogayne:** ur being overly affectionate wow u really are sick 

**lanceylance:** oh just wait till tomorrow i’ll be a clingy piece of shit

**kogayne:** what do u mean “will be” like ur not there already

**lanceylance:** w o w  okay

**kogayne:** ;)

**lanceylance:** :)

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** guys help emily is being cute she came and saw the show yesterday and now she wants to get involved in the drama club and stuff next year

**kogayne:** get her involved in crew bc ur most capable member is graduating

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah i know, we’re all gonna miss acxa :/

**kogayne:** WOW

**lanceylance:** [these hoes ain’t loyal plays softly in the background]

**hunkerdunker:** lnfdkskxjcjeks what if we got her involved w cast instead

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah plax is a gem :(

**lanceylance:** fight me

**hunkerdunker:** fight me

**shayfromstatefarm:** fight me

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmm,,, actually shay is also a gem

**hunkerdunker:** P I D G E

**allurable:** y’all just cannot match our star status

**carrierpidgeon:** i distinctly remember stories from matt about u learning ur lines last-minute in ur sophomore year

**allurable:** :) i don’t know what you’re talking about :)

**mattata:** hush pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**kogayne:** i wanna hear this story now

**kogayne:** shiro never told me these stories

**lanceylance:** i too want to hear the truth about this “star”

**hunkerdunker:** hmmm me too

**shayfromstatefarm:** spill the tea

**takashmeoutside:** that’s it really 

**takashmeoutside:** allura waited till the night of opening to have her lines memorized 

**lanceylance:** what happened sophomore year that it took u that long

**lanceylance:** there weren’t any ap classes that year??

**allurable:** ¯\\_(-_-)_/¯ i had a lot of clubs and stuff

**allurable:** oh whale

**kogayne:** no more sea puns pls the cast and crew don’t shut up

**kogayne:** there are puns /in the script/

**mattata:** we know we saw the show

**kogayne:** i am in ocean pun hell

**takashmeoutside:** i sea how that can be a pain in the bass

**kogayne:** shiro you’re fucking dead to me

**takashmeoutside:** how can i be “fucking dead to me” if i’m shiro?

**kogayne:** f u c k  o f f

**mattata:** who is  o f f and how do i get into contact with them

**kogayne:** okay putting my phone down BYE

**carrierpidgeon:** he specifically left out “im” to avoid it becoming another dad joke lmfao

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** my throat is  k i l l i n g m e

**lanceylance:** i would like to perish

**kogayne:** okay no you have two more shows to do and then we hit the diner tonight and get that sweet sweet diner food

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaAaaaAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** omg we should be cliche and like

**lanceylance:** share a milkshake

**kogayne:** omfg

**lanceylance:** keith pls it’ll be so cute pls do this 

**kogayne:** yes yes of course

**kogayne:** skfkrkekendnfne i love when u get like this

**kogayne:** i love every u but i love overly affectionate lance

**kogayne:** scratch that there is no such thing as too much affection

**lanceylance:** you’re v excited about this u must be sick

**kogayne:** stoooooop i LOVE U

**lanceylance:** shhhh i know u love me but ur natural walls come down the minute you’re not at 100%

**kogayne:** binch they’re already down when i’m talking to u

**lanceylance:** mmmmmm ,’:/

**lanceylance:** u sure

**kogayne:** mmmmmm ,’:/

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** MMMMMMMMM

**kogayne:** l a n c e

**lanceylance:** i am going to shower u in affection at lunch and the rest of the weekend

**lanceylance:** even if i am sniffly and miserable

**kogayne:** ur gonna make ME sniffly and miserable

**kogayne:** im overly affectionate when i’m sick bc i want to hide from everyone else and ur SAFE

**lanceylance:** ohmygodomygodjfjaksnxjdjcjdjxhsjsj that was so soft ur SICK

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

**kogayne:** lunch update: lance broke his vocal rest promise

**allurable:** dammit lance

**hunkerdunker:** oh he broke that during ryner’s class

**shayfromstatefarm:** she handed out another ap practice packet and he just goes “fuck”

**mattata:** xjsjdndnene that’s funny actually 

**lanceylance:** AM I WRONG

**carrierpidgeon:** as someone who likes math, yes

**mattata:** ^^

**takashmeoutside:** ^^^

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^^^^^

**lanceylance:** the betrayal hurts the most from u, hunk

**hunkerdunker:** leave my precious numbers alone

**lanceylance:** your numbers are the bane of my existence

**carrierpidgeon:** rip rip potato chip

**takashmeoutside:** the derivatives are coming

**lanceylance:** shut up shiro ur 6 u can’t do math

**allurable:** lance don’t be mean!! 

**allurable:** he’s almost seven :(

**takashmeoutside:** thanks ally -_-

**allurable:** ur welcome kashi!! :)

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**allurable:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** u bitches lucked out

**madplax:** no rehearsal after school

**madplax:** which means, seniors, yesterday was ur last rehearsal with this drama club EVER!

**lanceylance:** why the fuck would you say that

**madplax:** :)

**dinezor:** omg noooo :((((

**lotoreal:** here i’ll make things worse while i can: i have word that a certain two people are coming to see the show

**lanceylance:** nooooOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** well like we decided in the fall: more money for the club and they’re under our direction for almost three hours

**madplax:** true shit

**kogayne:** and they’re not allowed backstage 

**hunkerdunker:** shhhhh we’re putting all of that drama behind us

**hunkerdunker:** they can’t touch us now

**hunkerdunker:** last shows, almost done with ap exams, senior skip day is coming up, we’re gonna be fUCKING HAPPY FOR ONCE

**carrierpidgeon:** o shit hunk broke out the f word

**hunkerdunker:** when will u stop pretending it’s a shock 

**carrierpidgeon:** n e v e r

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**kogayne:** so what’s the sitch with diner and afterward

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i can drive y’all to the school and diner and then back home in The Minivan

**shayfromstatefarm:** are we hanging out after

**kogayne:** i mean all of us are sick so if y’all don’t mind our germs being in one place, i’d be willing to open up my house

**lanceylance:** or y’all can come to my place 

**lanceylance:** my mom has suddenly gotten sentimental and is preparing to suffer the effects of empty nest syndrome

**kogayne:** u know what that works i love the mcclains

**hunkerdunker:** excellent

**hunkerdunker:** is there a cast sleepover happening tomorrow night

**lanceylance:** uhhh

**kogayne:** uhhhhh????

**carrierpidgeon:** hold up make it cast and crew

**lanceylance:** we still don’t know

**shayfromstatefarm:** u know,,, we could /ask/ in the other group chat

**lanceylance:** shay belu, resident voice of reason

**hunkerdunker:** bitch i thought i was the voice of reason

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT A TRAGEDY HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** :O

**hunkerdunker:** wElL tHeN

**shayfromstatefarm:** sooo are we asking in the other gc or nah

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** are there sleepover(s) planned for tomorrow or nah

**madplax:** i dunno

**madplax:** i wasn’t hosting anything and half of this cast is filled with germs

**acxalutelynot:** i wasn’t planning anything either

**hunkerdunker:** SO NO ONE’S HOSTING

**hunkerdunker:** GOING ONCE

**hunkerdunker:** GOING TWICE

**hunkerdunker:** SOLD TO THE BOY IN THE ORANGE BANDANA

**hunkerdunker:** i already cleared it w the moms i’m hosting tomorrow wooooooooo everyone’s invited

**madplax:** bet

**hunkerdunker:** u don’t gotta decide now everyone just lemme know at some point if ur coming between now and tomorrow afternoon

**hunkerdunker:** as in

**hunkerdunker:** before call

**hunkerdunker:** bc my moms wanna see our final night so they’re not gonna scramble to set up /during/ the show

**hunkerdunker:** k thanks

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** are we just gonna chill in one spot after school all together

**hunkerdunker:** idc if it’s bad for my throat i want coffee

**hunkerdunker:** i need to be awake

**lanceylance:** hunk? being reckless? we claim victory, bois

**lanceylance:** we finally corrupted him

**hunkerdunker:** oh just wait until tuesday

**hunkerdunker:** my final two ap exams

**hunkerdunker:** u shits get to go home i have to stay ALL DAY

**lanceylance:** omg ur really exhausted ewdbfwbswdbfgd

**hunkerdunker:** actually scratch that tuesday i’ll be awake bc i’m sleeping sunday and doing nothing on monday

**kogayne:** wow we really did break him

**shayfromstatefarm:** way to go paul

**kogayne:** we broke shay too she’s willingly speaking in vines

**kogayne:** sickness and exhaustion have claimed all of us there’s no hope left for anyone

**carrierpidgeon:** at last, Chaos reigns

**shayfromstatefarm:** swelp

**carrierpidgeon:** swelp

**kogayne:** swelp

**lanceylance:** swelp

**hunkerdunker:** the fuck is a 

**hunkerdunker:** oh it’s a typo

**hunkerdunker:** wow i am not fit to drive i need to rest

**hunkerdunker:** also i would prefer quiet after school before we hang out for over 24 hours

**lanceylance:** shit u right

**hunkerdunker:** i’m going to get coffee after school and then i’m going home

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk was my ride so i’m going with him

**carrierpidgeon:** matt’s getting me after school and i’m playing video games until call

**lanceylance:** shit i’ll play against u from my place

**lanceylance:** keith is coming over bc i’m his ride

**kogayne:** ^^ u two can play, i’m gonna risk the nap and hope lance wakes me up

**lanceylance:** of COURSE what kind of heathen do u take me for

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** wooooooooow

**hunkerdunker:** okay anyway

**hunkerdunker:** before call shay and i will swing over and grab pidge first, and then grab klance, so make sure u get shit together for a sleepover

**hunkerdunker:** after show we go to diner

**hunkerdunker:** after diner we go to lance’s and promptly collapse in unwashed puddles of tears and makeup and makeup wipes

**carrierpidgeon:** lol makeup keith and i don’t have that problem

**kogayne:** stfu pidge u know full well i have that problem

**lanceylance:** keith kogane is cute as fuck in glitter and i will put it on his face at every opportunity

**shayfromstatefarm:** the glitter is clear liquid and plax calls it unicorn snot

**lanceylance:** i have my own name for it that i won’t share bc of what it looks like in its container

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** I DIDN’T SAY IT

  
**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i’m in the lobby come get ur crew’s supply of drugs

**kogayne:** wergtbefwdbfrw stop making it sound sketchy we’re already dying

**takashmeoutside:** just come get the cough drops will u

**kogayne:** yeah yeah i’m coming hold ur horses

**takashmeoutside:** hi coming hold ur horses,

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** what do horses have to do with coming

**kogayne:** I’M DISOWNING YOU

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** what the fuck

**kogayne:** the “if only” reprise still punches me in the feelings and i’ve heard this song way too many times now

**kogayne:** s t o p  d o i n g t h a t

**kogayne:** i’m so exhausted i’m more emotional than usual and yOu AnD yOuR fUcKiNg VoIcE aReN’t HeLpInG

**kogayne:** u can’t see me rn but i’m hiding in the wood closet crying and number one

**kogayne:** this setting spray and ur makeup are strong as shit and number two

**kogayne:** god i fucking love you 

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** i’m going to marry the shit out of him and i can’t wait

**hunkerdunker:** wretnrwfqefefgbdrf

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

**takashmeoutside:** diner night, right

**lanceylance:** YE

**takashmeoutside:** u guys have fun, mallura and i will be there but we’ll stay away i promise

**kogayne:** be gone, thot

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** LAST ONE TO DINER IS A ROTTEN EGG

**zethridofmyproblems:** even better: last one to diner has to /eat/ a rotten egg

**lanceylance:** why would you even—

**kogayne:** YOU’RE ON

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE GOING TO GET SICKER

**kogayne:** S H E ‘ S  O N

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** shiro is this ur cousin???

**lanceylance:** u claim this??

**takashmeoutside:** ...yeah

**kogayne:** HA SUCK MY DICK LANCE

**lanceylance:** ...well, we /are/ technically on a dinner date first,

**carrierpidgeon:** i hate. all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see y'all whenever the next one goes up
> 
> also i might add another chapter to [does any actual learning go on in this facility](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13828377/chapters/31803057) so keep ur eyes peeled


	130. NIGHT 3: thanks for being part of my world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the saturday chapter: after four years, one chapter closes in the lives of four members of the squad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hereby dedicate this chapter as a tribute to my drama club
> 
> this year was literally hell on earth but we made some damn good memories

**_suffering squad™_ **

**lanceylance:** good news: i woke up in keith’s arms and he’s soft and warm and has the cutest bedhead and sleepy face

**lanceylance:** bad news: my throat improved slightly at the cost of my fUCKING NOSE

**lanceylance:** I’M SO CONGESTED

**kogayne:** ^ uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh

**hunkerdunker:** s a m e

**shayfromstatefarm:** ditto

**carrierpidgeon:** see i was smart and slept alone last night

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk and shay wiped out right after the diner but they were together

**carrierpidgeon:** and then keith and lance /stayed up to catch up on buzzfeed unsolved/

**takashmeoutside:** keith why

**kogayne:** I HAD TO

**allurable:** wow it’s noon and y’all are just waking up slackers

**lanceylance:** there has been more than one occasion where you’ve been up at noon or later

**lanceylance:** /within the last month/

**allurable:** uhhh not that u can prove

**lanceylance:** if i didn’t delete my old texts for storage purposes and wasn’t so exhausted i would be petty and scroll back to find them

**allurable:** u deleted our texts?? i’m hurt

**lanceylance:** YEP i think i only saved the ones from my immediate family

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** and you  <3

**kogayne:** WRGTEWGERF STOP DOING THIS TO ME

**lanceylance:** n e v e r

**lanceylance:** flustered keith is one of the best keiths bc he buries his face in my shirt and whines and it’s super adorable

**kogayne:** i will fucking end u

**lanceylance:** what are u gonna do, kiss me till i can’t breathe?

**kogayne:** boi i have a knife on my person

**lanceylance:** is that a knife in ur pocket or are u just happy to see me—

**kogayne:** /why are u like this/

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** ...i was gonna say something and now i can’t rememeber

**mattata:** reMEMEber

**kogayne:** i fucked up

**takashmeoutside:** so nothing out of the ordinary

**kogayne:** shut ur fuck

**lanceylance:** anyway tonight’s the last show and idk how to feel bc it’s the last show of my high school drama club career and i’m not even at school yet and i’m ready to cry

**hunkerdunker:** i don’t think the disease and sleep deprivation are helping

**lanceylance:** maybe if i cry hard enough i can clear all the snot from my system 

**shayfromstatefarm:** i don’t think that’s exactly how that works

**kogayne:** ^^ i’m usually even stuffier after i cry?

**lanceylance:** well aCCORDING TO THE INTERNET,

**takashmeoutside:** oh if it’s on the internet it must be true

**lanceylance:** obviously

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY ACCORDING TO THE INTERNET CRYING IS /SUPPOSED/ TO HELP

**kogayne:** welp

**kogayne:** good luck with that

**lanceylance:** what, ur not gonna cuddle me while i sob

**kogayne:** boi i want food i am hungry

**takashmeoutside:** hi hungry,

**kogayne:** shiro i will fucking deck u

**kogayne:** why are u in such a good mood

**takashmeoutside:** what, i’m nOT ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY

**allurable:** [whispers] oh NICE RON

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT I’M NOT ALLOWED TO SNEEZE

**kogayne:** what is going onnnnn

**takashmeoutside:** spring fever

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** the temperature dropped like 20 degrees between today and yesterday and it’s MISERABLE AND COLD AND RAINY

**mattata:** mother nature really rained on ur parade

**mattata:** except ur parade is a musical

**kogayne:** WHY IS EVERYONE MAKING PUNS I AM TRAPPED IN PUN HELL

**allurable:** wow what a…

**kogayne:** DON’T

**allurable:** /pun/ishment :)

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_thatsnymaname > lanceylance_ **

**thatsnymaname:** impressive show last night

**lanceylance:** thx

**thatsnymaname:** i’d say u were the best part of it

**lanceylance:** thx

**thatsnymaname:** is that all you’ve got to say

**thatsnymaname:** rude

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** I’M GONNA SCREAM

**lanceylance:** I WOULD IF MY VOICE WASN’T GOING OUT AND I DIDN’T NEED TO SAVE IT FOR MY FINAL PERFROMANCE

**mattata:** perfromance

**allurable:** a perfromance between eric and ariel

**kogayne:** i would yell at lance for giving u more pun material but uhhh why is nyma texting u

**lanceylance:** this is sus

**takashmeoutside:** could u say it’s...fishy?

**kogayne:** GET OUT

**hunkerdunker:** lance block her number

**lanceylance:** i don’t block numbers

**kogayne:** give me the phone i have an idea

**lanceylance:** oh no

**carrierpidgeon:** gIVE KEITH THE PHONE

 

**_lanceylance > thatsnymaname_ **

**lanceylance:** i don’t even know who this is

**thatsnymaname:** wow u deleted my number?

**lanceylance:** who even is this

**thatsnymaname:** nyma???

**lanceylance:** oh

**lanceylance:** now i wish i didn’t know who it was

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** tada -keith

**carrierpidgeon:** WRGTHGMJMNFBREFWSGNH

**lanceylance:** hi lance again this is a great idea and i’m gonna burn it all down give me a sec

**kogayne:** can’t wait

**mattata:** the easiest way of pissing off a bitter ex: pretend u deleted their number just to test their reaction

 

**_thatsnymaname > lanceylance_ **

**thatsnymaname:** wow okay then

**thatsnymaname:** anyway i’m just trying to be nice?? and congratulate u on your performance??

**lanceylance:** that’s nice u can go now

**thatsnymaname:** are you /still/ mad

**thatsnymaname:** i tried to apologize

**lanceylance:** u didn’t even say the words “i apologize” or “i’m sorry” u literally were like “let’s just put it behind us it was stupid”

**thatsnymaname:** okay well then i’m sorry

**thatsnymaname:** my actions were ridiculous and i regret them and i regret being petty and i want to put things behind us

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

**lanceylance:** um

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** HOW DO I PROCESS THIS

**hunkerdunker:** yo wtf

**shayfromstatefarm:** tread carefully

**allurable:** be cordial back to her and see what happens but set clear boundaries

**lanceylance:** it sounds like she wants to come back into my life and maybe one day??? be my gf again?? she fucking hurt me i don’t want her back in my life

**lanceylance:** like??

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaaa does everyone here know the full story of how our relationship went down

**lanceylance:** i know keith and pidge and hunk do

**lanceylance:** and i think shay?

**lanceylance:** u know what here we go again

**lanceylance:** when we started dating she was nice to me at first and i thought she was hot and ngl that’s like 40% of the reason i dated her

**lanceylance:** things got real intense real fast and i was like “YEAH THIS IS FUN” but then i entered my biggest Self-Discovery Phase and like

**lanceylance:** “oh wow i’m bi! oh wow i like makeup! oh wow i’m not as macho-masculine as i thought but this is kinda cool actually!”

**mattata:** oh no

**lanceylance:** except

**mattata:** oh no

**lanceylance:** she didn’t think so

**mattata:** oh noooo

**lanceylance:** and she put me down

**lanceylance:** sometimes it wouldn’t be right to my face it would be like,

**lanceylance:** she would belittle and put down other people who acted the same way, right in front of me

**lanceylance:** and at first i was like “oh she’s just trying to help me and put me on the right path obviously” but like

**lanceylance:** i felt really weird and down about it?

**lanceylance:** and hunk and shay and pidge and keith were all really supportive of me when i told /them/ about it

**lanceylance:** and then i got closer with keith and i was like

**lanceylance:** “oh”

**lanceylance:** “oH”

**lanceylance:** “OH SHIT”

**mattata:** ^ me realizing i liked shiro /and/ allura during college

**mattata:** anyhoo continue

**lanceylance:** and so like

**lanceylance:** i came to the Sudden Realization that i was being treated like /garbage/ and she was basically trying to manipulate me into being the way she wanted me to be and not who i actually was

**lanceylance:** bc u know when we started dating i was still a little shit trying to be Macho Man Lance before i realized that I Enjoy Being Soft and the gender binary can go choke on a chode and nothing is inherently “for girls” or “for boys”

**lanceylance:** which is weird to think about bc after me she went and dated rolo who is /also/ bi

**lanceylance:** but anyway

**lanceylance:** when i broke up with her she cussed me out and verbally abused me /right before annie auditions/ and keith and hunk had to calm me down

**lanceylance:** keith and shiro gave me a ride home blah blah blah the rest is history

**lanceylance:** and like??? she went for two years w/o apologizing

**lanceylance:** she went and attacked me this year and it might not have been physically but what she did still hurt

**lanceylance:** she didn’t try and stop rolo from hurting keith when he got jumped and like?????????

**lanceylance:** i don’t want her back in my life even if she’s sorry

**lanceylance:** it’s not good for my health and there’s nothing that says she won’t become manipulative again

**takashmeoutside:** tell her straight up you don’t want anything to do with her

**takashmeoutside:** be nice about it but tell her

**takashmeoutside:** “look, i don’t want you in my life anymore, stop trying to contact me”

**hunkerdunker:** AND THEN BLOCK HER NUMBER

**kogayne:** if u don’t wanna tell her i’ll tell her

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i gotta do this

**lanceylance:** gotta put on my big boy pants

**lanceylance:** keith pls get over here and hold me in case things go wrong or i need u to take over

**kogayne:** comin

 

**_lanceylance > thatsnymaname_ **

**lanceylance:** well

**lanceylance:** okay i’m gonna be honest that was a lot to process and i wish i could say /i’m/ sorry for what i’m about to say but i’m

**lanceylance:** really not

**lanceylance:** i really

**lanceylance:** can’t accept the apology

**thatsnymaname:** what

**lanceylance:** it seems

**lanceylance:** awfully convenient that you’ve decided to try and be nicer now that you and rolo aren’t a thing anymore

**lanceylance:** even though you had no problem hurting me for the past two years

**lanceylance:** and won’t respect the fact that i’m already in a loving and committed relationship

**lanceylance:** i can respect that you /want/ to move on from this and you seem remorseful but

**lanceylance:** i kindly ask that you leave me alone

**thatsnymaname:** /what/

**lanceylance:** i can’t have you in my life, even as friends

**lanceylance:** “friends”

**lanceylance:** acquaintances

**lanceylance:** whatever

**lanceylance:** it’s just

**lanceylance:** not healthy

**thatsnymaname:** so you’re just going to cut contact

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** please don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be

**thatsnymaname:** ...alright then

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

_ (5) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD END UP WORKING

**lanceylance:** WHERE’S THAT PICTURE OF PLANKTON LIKE “I DIDN’T THINK I WOULD GET THIS FAR”

**takashmeoutside:** wow

**mattata:** well that’s one problem solved

**lanceylance:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LET’S CELEBRATE

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna celebrate by going back to sleep before call

**hunkerdunker:** what a mood

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** pls help i’m on the edge of an episode and everyone else is relaxing i can’t bother them with this

**takashmeoutside:** okay i’m sure u can bother them but what

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i was

**kogayne:** chilling out right

**kogayne:** and lance got a call from one of his siblings asking about mother’s day tomorrow and it just

**kogayne:** punched me in the fucking face

**kogayne:** :)))))))))))))))))))))))

**takashmeoutside:** buddy

**takashmeoutside:** it’s gonna be okay

**takashmeoutside:** we can go out and do something if u want

**kogayne:** i’m just getting sad

**kogayne:** again

**kogayne:** and also angry

**kogayne:** because all these years like “yeah my mom is gone she’s probably dead by now” and??? she’s not she just

**kogayne:** fucking abandoned me like i don’t matter :)))

**kogayne:** like even if she came back how am i supposed to be grateful for her

**kogayne:** everyone’s like “yeah i love my mom!!” and??? MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**kogayne:** i

**kogayne:** hhhhhh

**takashmeoutside:** alright, take some deep breaths

**takashmeoutside:** u have a lot of moms, aunt krolia can choke

**kogayne:** hhnnn u right

**takashmeoutside:** rumor has it u called lance’s mom “mom” once?

**kogayne:** SHE SAID SOMETHING

**takashmeoutside:** oh trust me we’re tight now

**kogayne:** ohmygod

**takashmeoutside:** we adults keep in touch

**kogayne:** OHMYGOD

**takashmeoutside:** especially when u and lance are talking about marriage

**kogayne:** i’m gonna launch myself directly into the fucking sun

**takashmeoutside:** okay but back to my point

**takashmeoutside:** aren’t u also sleeping over at hunk’s tonight?

**takashmeoutside:** he has two moms and i’m sure they love u very much

**takashmeoutside:** double the mom love

**takashmeoutside:** shay’s mom and grandmother are lovely

**takashmeoutside:** and there’s always mrs. holt

**kogayne:** true

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaa mmmmmmmmm i’m just

**kogayne:** nervous

**kogayne:** bc what if

**kogayne:** bio mom emails me tomorrow

**kogayne:** it’s been a while since i heard from her last and i don’t know how i’m gonna cope if she tries to talk to me again

**kogayne:** tomorrow of all days

**takashmeoutside:** if it happens tomorrow, you can ignore her or respond

**takashmeoutside:** do whatever you feel is right

**takashmeoutside:** but everyone’s got ur back

**kogayne:** aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** alright thanks i’m sorry i’m gonna

**kogayne:** go try and calm down

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** if you need to talk to me i’m here

**takashmeoutside:** and i know it’s hard not to but pls stop apologizing for needing to call attention to ur issues

**takashmeoutside:** we wanna help u

**kogayne:** i knowwwwww but there’s no freaking OFF SWITCH

**kogayne:** I WOULD’VE FLIPPED IT BY NOW

**takashmeoutside:** i know

**takashmeoutside:** so what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna have some brotherly bonding time

**takashmeoutside:** we’re gonna go to home depot or lowes or whatever and we’re gonna put in an off switch ourselves

**takashmeoutside:** and hopefully we won’t be electrocuted in the process

**kogayne:** dfgfhnfefwbdfwevdbvfs Thanks Dad can we play a game of catch after

**takashmeoutside:** of course son :)

**kogayne:** …

**takashmeoutside:** …

**takashmeoutside:** rhgnrebfdrdbgdv omfg let’s never do that again

**kogayne:** AGREED

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** y’all have 5 minutes to get here before you’re officially late for call

**madplax:** seniors do u really wanna be late for ur final call in this hell club ever

**lanceylance:** plax /shut up/ why must u keep reminding us

**madplax:** bc i can

**dinezor:** RUDE

**madplax:** ;)

**dinezor:** bitch square up

**acxalutelynot:** or we could Not

**zethridofmyproblems:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**acxalutelynot:** Zeth No

**zethridofmyproblems:** fight me ax

**dinezor:** wait no don’t fight my gf :(

**carrierpidgeon:** what did i just open the chat to

**hunkerdunker:** the usual shenanigans

**lotoreal:** it could’ve been worse

**lotoreal:** it could’ve been intense memeing

**lanceylance:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] I HEARD INTENSE MEMEING I’M HERE

**lotoreal:** you were already here

**lanceylance:** DID I FUCKING STUTTER

**madplax:** CAN Y’ALL JUST GET HERE

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** update pls kill me

**kogayne:** lance is doing his makeup and he’s already crying i can’t handle this

**kogayne:** half of the seniors are breaking down already and my poor heart can’t take this

**takashmeoutside:** your poor heart

**kogayne:** okay LISTEN i find this place i wanna call home and now i gotta leave? NOT FAIR

**kogayne:** AND THEIR CRYING IS MAKING ME WANT TO CRY

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** lmao do u want a tissue

**kogayne:** fight me

**takashmeoutside:** okay but in all seriousness do y’all need tissues

**takashmeoutside:** how many of you are coughing and sneezing

**kogayne:** oh just about everyone

**kogayne:** tomorrow once i get back from hunk’s i’m collapsing and not moving till monday

**takashmeoutside:** that’s fair

**takashmeoutside:** do u need me or matt or allura to run tissues and cough drops back there

**kogayne:** nah everyone thought ahead this time

**kogayne:** thanks tho

**kogayne:** see ya later

**takashmeoutside:** see ya

**kogayne:** don’t forget it’s senior night

**kogayne:** speeches and flowers n shit

**takashmeoutside:** oh trust me i remembered

**kogayne:** what does that mean

**takashmeoutside:** nothing

**kogayne:** SHIRO

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** this is your most stunning performance

**kogayne:** you’re killing it out here right now and i am so, so proud of you and how far you’ve come in this club

**kogayne:** you deserve this

**kogayne:** you’ve always deserved this and i’m so, so glad you got this for your senior show

**kogayne:** rehearsals have kicked our ass, especially this week, but god

**kogayne:** you’re proving it’s all been worth it

**kogayne:** i love you

**kogayne:** and i’m glad i got to be part of this world with you

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** YOU LITTLE SHIT

**lanceylance:** WHERE ARE YOU SO I CAN KISS THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

**lanceylance:** WREGHNERFDG I CAN’T BE SOBBING LIKE THIS I HAVE TO BE BACK ON SOON

**kogayne:** turn around :)

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

**allurable:** YOU GUYS KILLED IT

**allurable:** THAT LAST PERFORMANCE!! THAT’S THE ONE!!!!! YOU NAILED IT

**shayfromstatefarm:** sorry o’m still sobibng 

**hunkerdunker:** ^^

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT ALL OF YOU NEXT YEAR

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS CLUB IS LOSING SO MANY ICONS I’M NOT EVEN BEING SARCASTIC

**carrierpidgeon:** HUNK AND HIS AMAZING COOKING AND CRUSHING HUGS ARE GONE

**carrierpidgeon:** SHAY AND HER HUGS AND HER BIG SISTER ATTITUDE AND HER CALMING PRESENCE ARE LEAVING US

**carrierpidgeon:** KLANCE IS GOING

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE AND HIS SINGING AND TALENT

**carrierpidgeon:** KEITH AND HIS ABILITY TO MOVE SET PIECES LIKE IT’S NOTHING AND ACTING LIKE A BIG BRO TO ALL THE CREW KIDS

**carrierpidgeon:** /WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITHOUT ALL OF YOU NEXT YEAR/

**lanceylance:** STOP REMIDNFGI ME THAT WE’RE KEIAIVN

**lanceylance:** I’ MCRYIHN SO HAJRFD

**kogayne:** oh my godi ‘m goging to misdf thus

**kogayne:** ewregwqwfdfwd holdof np

**lanceylance:** he’s triyng to geti t toghether

**kogayne:** i 

**kogayne:** was the last 

**kogayne:** out of the auditorium

**kogayne:** and

_ (4) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** goodbye, drama club and crew

**kogayne:** it’s been something

**lanceylance:** DSTPTYP ETRHTEWGNGHERFGBNFERF SOTPT 

**shayfromstatefarm:** KEITB NO 

**hunkerdunker:** HOW DAREO YOU

 

**_Drama & Crew 2018_ **

**madplax:** y’all...this year has been one fucking hell of a journey

**madplax:** but somehow

**madplax:** i wouldn’t have it any other way

**lanceylance:** agreed

**dinezor:** ^^

**madplax:** seniors, i’m gonna miss u guys

**madplax:** underclassmen…

**madplax:** this is /your/ club now

**madplax:** take good care of it

**hunkerdunker:** treat it with the love and care and dedication it deserves

**kogayne:** we’ve gotta archive this chat

**madplax:** and i’ve got just the name

**_madplax_ ** _ renamed  _ **_Drama & Crew 2018 _ ** _ to  _ **_Midsummer Mermaids_ **

**lanceylance:** thanks i’m fucking crying harder now

**shayfromstatefarm:** much better than Arsenic  & Trapp Houses

**madplax:** do u remember when myzax changed it to The Von Trapp House

**lotoreal:** is it really best to bring that back up

**madplax:** defgbewedbefwdvw

**madplax:** welp

**madplax:** keep in touch, y’all

**carrierpidgeon:** shut up u haven’t graduated yet stop making me sad

**lanceylance:** STOP MAKING /ME/ SAD JEEZ

**madplax:** how many boxes of tissues did the cast go thru tonight between disease and tears

**lanceylance:** i think hunk took the final count?

**hunkerdunker:** twenty-four

**madplax:** impressive

**acxalutelynot:** what a way to go out

**lanceylance:** anyway

**lanceylance:** snot aside

**lanceylance:** thanks for the experience, y’all

**lanceylance:** thanks for being part of my world for four years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm a ball of tears
> 
> no sunday chapter, imma go rest now
> 
> see y'all in the next one
> 
> (icymi: [new chapter of _does any actual learning go on in this facility_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13828377/chapters/33817041), set at the end of this chapter)


	131. senior skip day ft. the seniors who did not skip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ap classes mean u can't afford senior skip day, ft. discussion of lgbtq+ rep in media, star wars, more Family Drama, and buzzfeed unsolved (ft. klance bc I LOVE THEY)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmm do i need trigger warnings lemme skim again,,, mmmmmm nothing i can see but if i missed something lemme know

**_suffering squad™_ **

**lanceylance:** excuse me

**lanceylance:** ap exams are done, why am i still being assigned work in my classes

**hunkerdunker:** the fact that it’s antok’s class has me nervous

**lanceylance:** BOI DECIDED WE NEED TO DO A PROJECT

**hunkerdunker:** ha ha what :)

**lanceylance:** we have to psychoanalyze songs

**kogayne:** ...guysit’sreallynotthatharditcouldbeworse

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah i’m with keith on this

**shayfromstatefarm:** better than hira’s class or thace’s class where we’re actively getting homework

**lanceylance:** tbh

**lanceylance:** thace’s lit circles can choke

**kogayne:** why must i read classics i want to read about conspiracy theories

**kogayne:** AND SPEAKING OF CONSPIRACIES

**takashmeoutside:** fuck it’s friday

**kogayne:** IT’S BUZZFEED UNSOLVED DAY AND WE’RE COVERING ALIENS AND THE GUY FROM ANCIENT ALIENS ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL IS GUEST STARRING

**mattata:** THE MEME GUY?

**kogayne:** THE MEME GUY

**lanceylance:** buzzfeed unsolved has reach peak meme

**carrierpidgeon:** buzzfeed unsolved reached peak meme with “hey there demons”

**lanceylance:** shit u right

**lanceylance:** anyway keith stop being happy i am trying to Complain

**kogayne:** shut up shane

**mattata:** boi u *wish* u were ryan bergara

**kogayne:** excuse me

**kogayne:** what proof do u have that i am not ryan bergara

**kogayne:** have u ever seen me and ryan bergara in the same room

**kogayne:** i don’t think so

**carrierpidgeon:** today on buzzfeed unsolved we open an investigation into the question: is keith kogane secretly ryan bergara?

**allurable:** why am i opening the chat to conspiracy theories on a friday morning

**kogayne:** why not

**kogayne:** conspiracy theories keep me going

**kogayne:** something to look forward to when i wake up

**lanceylance:** anything else u look forward to? :)

**kogayne:** pizza is nice

**lanceylance:** >:O

**kogayne:** ;) love u

**lanceylance:** ur on thin fuckin ice kogane

**allurable:** wait i read the rest of the chat i wanna hear about these lit circles

**allurable:** what are u guys reading

**lanceylance:** we weren’t there when we chose books bc, you know, ap testing

**kogayne:** as fate would have it in both periods our groups chose the same book

**lanceylance:** “our groups” being the handful of students actually present

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re reading mrs. dalloway

**hunkerdunker:** lance keeps calling it virginia woolf

**lanceylance:** WHY IS HER NAME BIGGER THAN THE TITLE

**lanceylance:** WHAT KIND OF EGO

**shayfromstatefarm:** u realize that was probably a decision made by the publisher and cover designer to sell more books bc people will see “virginia woolf” and classics nerds will be like “WOW WHAT A FAMOUS AUTHOR I SHOULD PICK UP THIS BOOK”

**kogayne:** ^^

**kogayne:** also the book does have one thing going for it so far

**allurable:** and that would be

**kogayne:** mrs. dalloway is bi as fuck

**lanceylance:** mmm true

**lanceylance:** hopefully it doesn’t end in disaster

**shayfromstatefarm:** mood

**lanceylance:** i wanna look up what happens but i’m not motivated

**hunkerdunker:** ^^ i’m not emotionally attached to this book and if it lets me down i’m not even gonna be surprised

**kogayne:** [smashes fists on table] GIVE ME MORE LGBTQ+ REP DAMMIT

**kogayne:** GIVE ME MORE BOOKS WITH HAPPY GAYS

**lanceylance:** alright y’all so i’ve made the decision to become a full-time writer to give keith the happy gays in fiction that he deserves—

**hunkerdunker:** speaking of gays in fiction

**hunkerdunker:** star wars writers have confirmed lando calrissian is pansexual and down for doing it with droids

**kogayne:** droidfuckers get more rep than us wtf

**mattata:** yeah but is it like

**mattata:** gonna be exclusive rep in the solo movie

**mattata:** or more performative allyship

**mattata:** from the jkr school of retconning characters and not actually doing anything about it

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean, they’re in space, right

**carrierpidgeon:** if lando fucks aliens

**carrierpidgeon:** there have to be societies where there’s no gender binary, right?

**kogayne:** but u saw the girl aliens w boobs in return of the jedi in jabba’s palace, right

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t remind me i’m still traumatized

**kogayne:** at least we have the og star wars cast letting us live out our headcanons

**kogayne:** i don’t care what anyone says luke was gay and you can pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands

**lanceylance:** cold and dead, huh—

**kogayne:** SHUT UP

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT UP LANCE

**takashmeoutside:** WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT

**lanceylance:** anyway let’s not forget that oscar isaac is totally on board with gay poe

**kogayne:** mmmm finnpoe good shit

**mattata:** i see ur finnpoe and raise u finnpoeray

**lanceylance:** u heathens it is not finnpoe it is stormpilot we have an aesthetic name for once let’s use it

**allurable:** what’s the stormpilot equivalent for finnpoerey

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** stormpilotscavenger?

**kogayne:** that is

**kogayne:** a mouthful

**allurable:** omg matt shiro i know what we can be for halloween next year

**mattata:** u mean this year

**allurable:** ...omg

**allurable:** but LET’S DO IT

**mattata:** i call dibs on poe

**takashmeoutside:** why do u get to be poe

**mattata:** bc i look hot as fuck in a brown leather jacket

**allurable:** valid

**takashmeoutside:** ,,,, MMMMMMMMM HE’S RIGHT

**kogayne:** why is /that/ the thing that convinces u

**takashmeoutside:** shut up that’s the same reason u fantasize about lance as han solo

**lanceylance:** OWO

**lanceylance:** HE WHAT

**kogayne:** i’m gonna crawl in a ditch and die

**takashmeoutside:** :)

**kogayne:** i’m dragging u down to hell with me

**takashmeoutside:** already on my way anyway

**kogayne:** -_-

**lanceylance:** fbrgefwegbffwebf 

**lanceylance:** wait so does he imagine himself as leia

**lanceylance:** bc keith in leia buns,,,

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** so u know his “luke is gay" headcanon,

**kogayne:** i will murder u in ur sleep

**lanceylance:** WRETNEFGERBNBRT

**kogayne:** HANLUKE IS A GOOD SHIP OKAY

**kogayne:** LET ME LOVE MY RAREPAIR IN PEACE

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT SO THEN WE’RE GETTING IN ON THIS STAR WARS HALLOWEEN THING?

**hunkerdunker:** okay wait what about me and shay here

**carrierpidgeon:** aND ME 

**carrierpidgeon:** i volunteer to be r2d2

**carrierpidgeon:** sassiest droid in star wars history

**lanceylance:** i would say hunk and shay could be anakin and padme but hunk is a cinnamon roll and anakin is a burnt cinnamon roll

**mattata:** FGHGTREWGFNBRF BURNT CINNAMON ROLL

**lanceylance:** ;D

**hunkerdunker:** halloween is the time to be scary i can pull off dark and brooding

**hunkerdunker:** i can pull off a keith

**kogayne:** low blow

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lanceylance:** i love my dark broody boyfriend  <3333

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i’m so bored why did hira need to do a review today

**kogayne:** forensics is empty 

**kogayne:** besides me the only other kid here is one of the creepy kids

**lanceylance:** ooh yike

**lanceylance:** spanish is just me and two kids from ap bio

**kogayne:** why did they have to move senior skip day up a week this is homophobia

**lanceylance:** and biphobia

**kogayne:** i would much rather be doing literally anything else

**kogayne:** i wanna go back to psych so at least we could like, cuddle or something

**lanceylance:** isn’t our study hall mostly seniors

**lanceylance:** seniors who probably all skipped

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** i’ll give u all the cuddles

**lanceylance:** luxia won’t care if we like

**lanceylance:** sit on top of the desks or something bc she knows we’re Good Eggs

**kogayne:** we’ve both ended up in the office more than once this year

**lanceylance:** WE’RE GOOD EGGS KEITH

**kogayne:** if we’re eggs can i be scrambled eggs

**lanceylance:** what why

**kogayne:** my brain is a  m e s s 

**lanceylance:** something going on u wanna talk about

**kogayne:** well

**kogayne:** i was having a nice morning until i just opened up my emails and

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** shit

**lanceylance:** have u read it yet

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** part of me is tempted to just trash it and cut contact but

**kogayne:** hhhhnnnn i’m gonna open it

**kogayne:** f u kcv that wasn ot a godo didcison

**lanceylance:** screenshots

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i’mn ot ereayd

**lanceylance:** hey hey hey wait

**lanceylance:** look

**lanceylance:** look at the date she wants to meet up

**lanceylance:** that’s orientation

**kogayne:** whathfcukc

**lanceylance:** it’s gonna be okay

**lanceylance:** tell her u already have something going on that day, can’t do it

**kogayne:** hnnn

**lanceylance:** okay u know what

**lanceylance:** ulaz isn’t gonna care if i come to your class, right?

**kogayne:** wait no pldont u don’t havert o

**lanceylance:** you’re freaking out

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna be there

**lanceylance:** let me be there, keith

**lanceylance:** besides it’s not like we can do anything with three kids in class

**kogayne:** hnnnnnnnn okay

**lanceylance:** i’m leaving class now

**lanceylance:** just breathe till i get there

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** hi keith is out of it rn so i’m here to tell u his mom emailed him again

**takashmeoutside:** and what did she want /this time/

**lanceylance:** to set up a meetup date

**lanceylance:** she’s like “oh you sound cool i guess” which,,, keith didn’t tell her that much to begin with

**lanceylance:** and then she gave a tentative meetup date which just so happens to be during our orientation so whOOPS WOW KEITH CAN’T GO SORRY

**takashmeoutside:** so is he freaking out about not being able to go or the fact that she emailed him

**lanceylance:** the email itself

**lanceylance:** and then i dunno if he’s just exhausted from the last two weeks but the idea of meeting up with her just

**lanceylance:** set him off

**lanceylance:** “every time i think i’ve come to terms with it i realize i haven’t” -keith kogane, 2k18

**takashmeoutside:** yeah so aunt krolia can takash these hands

**takashmeoutside:** are u guys gonna respond

**lanceylance:** keith is feeling petty so for now the plan is that we’re gonna leave her on read for a week, act like it’s a good date, and then email her at the last minute like “whoops something came up”

**takashmeoutside:** that’s valid

**lanceylance:** alrighty that’s all i had to tell you

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna go back to being with keith and give him the snuggles he’s been desiring all morning

**takashmeoutside:** ...wait a minute aren’t you in period 2

**takashmeoutside:** don’t u have different classes

**lanceylance:** senior skip day in senior classes means our teachers don’t care about what we do bc they can’t teach

**lanceylance:** he was freaking out

**lanceylance:** i wasn’t just gonna sit there like a fuckin heathen

**lanceylance:** so byeee gonna go

 

**_suffering squad™_ **

**hunkerdunker:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR]

**hunkerdunker:** I JUST WATCHED THE NEWEST BUZZFEED UNSOLVED

**mattata:** i thought it was keith texting omg

**kogayne:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] I HEARD BUZZFEED UNSOLVED

**hunkerdunker:** ALIENS

**kogayne:** [VIGOROUS NODDING] ALIENS

**_kogayne_ ** _ renamed  _ **_suffering squad™_ ** _ to  _ **_ALIENS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** today i found out that emily is a buzzfeed unsolved fan but she’s a shaniac

**takashmeoutside:** WE’VE GOT ANOTHER ONE

**kogayne:** i revoke my stamp of approval this is a disgrace

**kogayne:** how can she like star wars and not believe in aliens

**carrierpidgeon:** /we have to get her on the alien train/

**carrierpidgeon:** she can argue on cryptids and ghosts but I DRAW THE LINE AT ALIENS THEY’RE /OUT THERE/

**kogayne:** i need them to abduct me like asap

**lanceylance:** okay no,

**carrierpidgeon:** mood tbh

**lanceylance:** oKAY NO,

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith why do u wanna be abducted

**mattata:** he wants to fuck aliens obviously

**kogayne:** no i’m clearly part alien and don’t belong here

**takashmeoutside:** translation: he’s stressed bc of his mom

**kogayne:** shut ur fuck shiro

**mattata:** yike yike yike i take back what i said

**kogayne:** no it’s fine i’m

**kogayne:** better than i was earlier this morning

**kogayne:** i’m gonna be petty with her for now 

**kogayne:** i’ve got other moms

**kogayne:** like mrs. mcclain

**lanceylance:** my mom likes keith better than me and the rest of my siblings

**carrierpidgeon:** is he, by chance, at your house right now

**kogayne:** shiro had the late shift at target

**kogayne:** the mcclain house is a Safe Space when it’s dangerous to be home

 

**_KEITH DEFENSE SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** lol so basically his mom set him off today and he’s spent the day recovering but any commentary is still kind of

**lanceylance:** charged

**lanceylance:** he’s doing okayish right now but i’m gonna

**lanceylance:** try and redirect the conversation

**allurable:** that’s fair

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**lanceylance:** yep we’re on our Keith Loving Juice every day

**lanceylance:** bUT BACK TO THE ALIENS

**lanceylance:** ur telling me

**lanceylance:** back at the height of the roman empire

**lanceylance:** they were seeing those shits

**carrierpidgeon:** !!!!!! I KNOW RIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** emily and i are having a debate back me up here

**shayfromstatefarm:** wait a minute

**shayfromstatefarm:** are u two, like, in the same room

**kogayne:** omfg did u have a buzzfeed unsolved date

**carrierpidgeon:** I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP

**lanceylance:** WHERE ARE THE MERSISTERS WHEN U NEED THEM

**shayfromstatefarm:** SHE’S IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE

**hunkerdunker:** SHE’S 

**hunkerdunker:** IN

**hunkerdunker:** LOVE!

**kogayne:** SHE’S IN LOOOOOVE

**lanceylance:** CRUSHED OUT

**kogayne:** SWITCHED ON

**hunkerdunker:** WORKED UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** FAR GONE

**carrierpidgeon:** shutt ip ur lyrics ar eout of order

**mattata:** omfg she can’t even type straight

**kogayne:** i mean, she’s clearly a gayce,

**carrierpidgeon:** wdfgbfdsdbgdf dhu t up fkeith

**lanceylance:** [waggles eyebrows]

**takashmeoutside:** /waggles?/

**lanceylance:** [WAGGLING INTENSIFIES]

**mattata:** is waggle even a word

**lanceylance:** autocorrect keeps trying to change it to wiggle but it’s a WORD

**allurable:** according to merriam-webster, to waggle is to “reel, sway, or move from side to side” or “to move frequently one way and the other”

**mattata:** well

**mattata:** that just tickles my pickle

**takashmeoutside:** it /what/

**mattata:** TICKLES MY PICKLE

**hunkerdunker:** is there something we’re not picking up on

**mattata:** get ur mind outta the gutter

**kogayne:** well minds are in gutter that’s my cue to leave

**lanceylance:** bye gonna go too!!

**allurable:** have fun w whatever ur doing

**mattata:** use protection xoxo

**lanceylance:** shut ur fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** welp if they’re gonna be of no help imma win this debate on my own byeee

**hunkerdunker:** yeah i’m gonna go too

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow look at the time gotta gooo

**allurable:** are you two /also/ hanging out

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO COMMENT BYE

**allurable:** >:O

**allurable:** shiro when do u get out of work

**takashmeoutside:** 10

**takashmeoutside:** aka closing

**mattata:** are u suggesting we hang out at 10

**allurable:** yes?

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ sure why not, keith is spending the night w lance anyway apparently

**allurable:** bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so for context: senior skip day is supposed to be next week (which...we're having another one, and i'll actually participate) but the way the school bribed seniors into taking all of their ap exams was by starting an internship program, and everyone doing internships would be missing senior skip day, so they bumped it up a week
> 
> my physics final is tuesday and we had a review today so half my class (read: the biggest nerds in the school) showed up for the review
> 
> imma skip next week tho bc that's a half day that doesn't matter
> 
> anyway
> 
> see y'all in the next one
> 
> _**But before we go, a bit of shameless self-promotion:** [Deceit So Natural](https://archiveofourown.org/series/767406) is a three-fanfic trilogy that begins when Prince Lotor mistakenly believes that Lance, acting as a spy for the Galra, has killed Keith, and invites him to return to the Empire. Team Voltron sends in Keith and Lance undercover, and the perfect buddy-cop scenario rapidly spirals out of control. Begin reading this series, inspired by an innocent pre-season 3 Lotor roast session, with the first fanfic, [Where People Go to Die](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539), today!_


	132. [maroon 5 voice] keith is in misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a long weekend of suffering, keith still isn't any better, ft. heavy doses of kangst, klangst, klance, and broganes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhhh let's see
> 
> i finished writing this by noon and spent three hours debating whether or not to post it so that should tell u something about my current mental state
> 
> sorry if u came here looking for fluff today but i just. cannot 
> 
> **trigger warnings for a major depressive episode, self-isolation, suicidal thoughts/keith repeating "i wanna die", and brief references to the ongoing gun problem in america**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning sunshine

**lanceylance:** i have an important question that needs an answer as soon as possible and no later than lunchtime

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**lanceylance:** cuba trip

**lanceylance:** mama is booking flights today

**lanceylance:** are you going for sure orrrr

**kogayne:** shit

**kogayne:** hnnn i’ll have an answer by second or third period

**lanceylance:** “hnnn” are you doing okay

**lanceylance:** keith?

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaa so sleeping all day yesterday didn’t help things

**kogayne:** and

**kogayne:** neither did taking time to myself

**lanceylance:** you wanna come over after work and cuddle

**kogayne:** hnnn

**kogayne:** that’s

**kogayne:** mmm that’s part of the problem

**lanceylance:** ????

**lanceylance:** talk to me

**kogayne:** i just

**kogayne:** i feel guilty

**kogayne:** every time i start getting bad again you drop everything to help me and it’s not fair to you

**kogayne:** and it’s not fair to myself

**kogayne:** i’m

**kogayne:** hhhh

**kogayne:** i’m not gonna have people around all the time to take care of me

**kogayne:** i need to learn to deal with my episodes myself and i just???? i’m 

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** keith :(

**lanceylance:** i know half of this is just coming from your Episode Brain

**lanceylance:** if i didn’t love you and i didn’t /want/ to help you then i wouldn’t 

**lanceylance:** it’s okay to need help

**kogayne:** what happens when no one’s there? how am i supposed to handle things?

**kogayne:** it

**kogayne:** it got /bad/ last night

**kogayne:** worse than usual

**lanceylance:** but u pulled urself out of it?

**kogayne:** hhhh yeah after a while

**lanceylance:** see? ur capable

**lanceylance:** but being capable of getting through it alone doesn’t mean u have to

**lanceylance:** u know i hate seeing u suffer 

**lanceylance:** and i especially hate seeing u suffer /alone/

**kogayne:** hnnnn

**lanceylance:** are u gonna be okay to get through school today?

**kogayne:** i’m gonna have to

**kogayne:** we’re not doing much

**kogayne:** i can make it through

**lanceylance:** promise you’ll tell me if you start feeling weird

**kogayne:** i’m always weird

**lanceylance:** /keith/ u know what i mean

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** i promise

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** now

**lanceylance:** u want me drive u, u wanna drive, u wanna go by ourselves,,,

**kogayne:** hnnn can u pick me up

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** i love you

**lanceylance:** pls know that

**lanceylance:** i want you, i chose you, and that includes all of you

**lanceylance:** all ur worries and ur happiness and ur victories and ur problems

**kogayne:** hnnnnnnn

**kogayne:** sorry i;’m soryr

**lanceylance:** shh

**lanceylance:** no apologies

**lanceylance:** i’ve got you, you’ve got me

**kogayne:** hhhh

**lanceylance:** i’m leaving in a few minutes

**lanceylance:** hang in there, starlight

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** how many times this year are the flags gonna be lowered to half-staff

**carrierpidgeon:** this happens like once a month now

**carrierpidgeon:** with how often this shit happens don’t you think it’s just easier at this point to like, leave them there

**hunkerdunker:** well this is a depressing start to the day

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m just

**carrierpidgeon:** FRUSTRATED

**carrierpidgeon:** i come to this hellhole to LEARN not DIE

**shayfromstatefarm:** mood

**shayfromstatefarm:** at this point i’m just trying to make it to college and we’ll see how things go from there

**hunkerdunker:** only 3 and a half weeks till graduation!

**carrierpidgeon:** egtefsdrtghftyfhnd two years and three and a half weeks left for me

**hunkerdunker:** rip 

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s gonna get lonelyyyyyyyyyy

**hunkerdunker:** don’t u have friends now

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah but none of them are u guys

**carrierpidgeon:** upperclassmen with the ability to intimidate my bullies with a single glare

**hunkerdunker:** facetime exists

**hunkerdunker:** whip out ur phone like “they’re not gone, just /waiting/”

**carrierpidgeon:** gfbftdhdjhnfgjkmj good idea

**carrierpidgeon:** got any others in that big brain of urs

**hunkerdunker:** not at the moment but i’ll let u know if i think of more

**carrierpidgeon:** an angel, truly

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** shiro p’m haifvng and epsidoe and it’s be n like this bsince usdatudfsy

**takashmeoutside:** i told u to stay home

**kogayne:** shut pu;

**kogayne:** i cna’t go hme

**takashmeoutside:** yes you can

**takashmeoutside:** i can come get you

**kogayne:** no ononm

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**kogayne:** sihgor

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**kogayne:** s h i oer

**takashmeoutside:** k e i t h

**kogayne:** hhhhh i can handle it

**takashmeoutside:** dude

**kogayne:** i can

**takashmeoutside:** is this the only reason you texted

**kogayne:** on

**kogayne:** no

**takashmeoutside:** what’s going on

**kogayne:** lance asked about the cubs trip

**kogayne:** cuba

**kogayne:** and???? shiro i can’t go

**takashmeoutside:** why not? i told u im cool with it

**kogayne:** hnnnn it’s the last summer before college and all the shit with my mom is happening and plane tickets are expensive and i need as much money as i can get for college and hhhhhhh there’s

**kogayne:** other stuff i already talked to lance about that he’s gonna be mad about when i bring it up

**takashmeoutside:** i seriously doubt that whatever it is, he’ll be mad at you

**kogayne:** i already told him if i started getting bad that i’d text him and i haven’t and i feel guilty but i don’t wanna bother him and the day just started and jakdkdjdjdjsjw

**takashmeoutside:** have you scheduled another meeting with your therapist?

**kogayne:** hnnnn last night i emailed her, ive got one set up for wednesday

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**kogayne:** sndndjjdnndjsjsjd

**takashmeoutside:** are you sure you can handle school?

**kogayne:** hhh yeah

**takashmeoutside:** alright 

**takashmeoutside:** and are you serious about your decision on the cuba trip? you can’t change it

**kogayne:** i know i know

**kogayne:** im

**kogayne:** i don’t know

**kogayne:** lance needs an answer by lunch 

**takashmeoutside:** okay

**takashmeoutside:** think about your answer in the long-term

**takashmeoutside:** you’re not in the right state of mind, but just try, okay?

**kogayne:** hhhh okay

**kogayne:** i just

**kogayne:** can i talk to you about this

**kogayne:** without you roasting me

**takashmeoutside:** all ears

**takashmeoutside:** err, eyes

**kogayne:** everyone likes to poke at the fact that lance and i do everything together and i feel like 

**kogayne:** if i go on the trip then it’s just “oh lance can’t even go see his family without keith latching onto him”

**kogayne:** and sometimes /i/ feel like i’m too dependent on him and it’s not healthy

**kogayne:** i know i’m my own person but sometimes it feels like people just see me as

**kogayne:** one half of something

**kogayne:** and i don’t wanna keep proving those people right

**kogayne:** bUT AT THE SAME TIME IT’S LIKE

**kogayne:** why am i letting people pass judgement on my relationship? i love lance and i love doing things with him and??? i shouldn’t let what people say get to me but it does and jejejdjdjdndnr

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know how much it’ll help but here’s my take on your situation

**takashmeoutside:** you’re still young

**takashmeoutside:** most people don’t have relationships as serious as yours at your age

**takashmeoutside:** but most people also don’t have all of the issues you have or have experienced the things that shaped you

**takashmeoutside:** your reactions are normal

**takashmeoutside:** there’s nothing wrong with feeling like this and there’s nothing wrong with reaching out for help

**takashmeoutside:** you know what happens when you /don’t/ reach out for help?

**takashmeoutside:** you know what happens when you try to be independent because you feel like you’re imposing or being too clingy?

**takashmeoutside:** you break up with your boyfriend and miss out on five or so years of relationship where you could have been getting the support you needed

**kogayne:** djdjdjdjshehdjcidkdjd 

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** thanks shiro

**takashmeoutside:** no problem

**takashmeoutside:** now go talk to your boy

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** im

**kogayne:** not going on the cuba trip

**lanceylance:** alright 

**lanceylance:** u wanna talk about it

**kogayne:** i mean

**kogayne:** hhhh im not gonna keep anything from you

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i talked to shiro about this and i’ve been sitting on it for the last period

**lanceylance:** keith

**kogayne:** i mean, i still stand by what i told him

**kogayne:** it’s the summer before college and i’ve just

**kogayne:** there’s a lot going on with my own family that i need to sort out

**kogayne:** we can still text and snap and facetime but i /literally/ can’t afford being away for three weeks

**kogayne:** it’s nothing against you

**kogayne:** i love you

**kogayne:** im bad at showing it and i know turning down the trip may make it seem like i’m trying to get away from you but i love you more than anything and i’m scared of what’s gonna happen if i keep thinking like this

**lanceylance:** it’s okay

**lanceylance:** i understand

**kogayne:** i just think

**kogayne:** it’ll be good for us

**kogayne:** we’ve been together pretty much every single day nearly all year

**kogayne:** and it’s 

**kogayne:** it’s not exhausting

**kogayne:** it’s just

**kogayne:** im 

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** i know what you mean

**lanceylance:** im with you on this

**kogayne:** thank you 

**kogayne:** you have no idea how much this means

**lanceylance:** thank you for trusting me with this

**kogayne:** djdjdjejejdickvkend

**kogayne:** also i’m sorry

**lanceylance:** pls don’t apologize

**lanceylance:** i want the best for u and if u think this is best for ur health then that’s what we’re gonna do

**kogayne:** why are u so good to me

**lanceylance:** bc u deserve the world

**lanceylance:** see u at lunch pls text me if u need me

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** is that cuddle offer still up for later

**lanceylance:** cuddles are available as early as lunch

**kogayne:** :)

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** why’s the gc dead

**shayfromstatefarm:** i understand we’re all in school but like

**shayfromstatefarm:** no drama? no tea?

**mattata:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ work is slow

**takashmeoutside:** typical monday

**lanceylance:** IT’S A MONDAY

**mattata:** no one watches the ghost in the stalls video anymore i guess bc no one’s here trying to recreate it

**takashmeoutside:** but in all actuality it’s just

**takashmeoutside:** a slow day

**takashmeoutside:** nothing wrong with that

**carrierpidgeon:** honestly mood

**carrierpidgeon:** drama is fun but i’m tired

**carrierpidgeon:** after school i’m gonna crash

**allurable:** after school i’m stopping by bb and getting coffee

**allurable:** lance u on

**lanceylance:** yes ma’am i am

**allurable:** i need That coffee

**lanceylance:** >:D

**takashmeoutside:** /what/ coffee

**allurable:** a death coffee of my own making now hush kashi i can handle myself

**mattata:** i love allura altea

**allurable:** ;D

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** keith isn’t going

**mamamcclain:** :o why not?

**lanceylance:** he’s got a lot of stuff going on 

**lanceylance:** he didn’t have an easy time making the decision

**mamamcclain:** so are you only going the two weeks then?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**mamamcclain:** does he know?

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** he’s not in the right state of mind for me to tell him so i’m gonna surprise him

**mamamcclain:** alright, if you say so

**mamamcclain:** does keith want to come over after school?

**lanceylance:** we’ve got work but he’ll probably come over after

**mamamcclain:** alright

**mamamcclain:** staying for dinner? sleeping over?

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it 

**mamamcclain:** okay then

**mamamcclain:** tell him i say hello, have a good rest of the day at school!

**lanceylance:** will do

**lanceylance:** love u

**mamamcclain:** i love you too

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** what is with today

**shayfromstatefarm:** bb is so slow

**shayfromstatefarm:** i just wanna go home

**kogayne:** a customer bitched me out so that’s just the icing on the cake

**kogayne:** wanna die :)

**lanceylance:** we kicked the customer out

**lanceylance:** no coffee

**takashmeoutside:** what happened?

**lanceylance:** keith wasn’t making his coffee fast enough for him 

**kogayne:** “there’s no one here! hurry up!! what’s taking so long?”

**kogayne:** lance and hunk tried to defend me bc they were on with me and he bitched them out too

**kogayne:** and he 

**kogayne:** i wanna fucking die today has been so shitty that’s why the group chat is slow it’s because lance and shiro were too busy taking care of me that’s it

**carrierpidgeon:** keith :(

**kogayne:** im going to bed

**kogayne:** good night 

**_kogayne_ ** _ left  _ **_ALIENS_ **

**hunkerdunker:** oh shit this is serious 

**lanceylance:** he’s at my place

**lanceylance:** shiro i promise my mom and i are taking care of him right now

**lanceylance:** im gonna go

**lanceylance:** i’ll let you guys know when he’s ready to be added back to the group chat

**allurable:** alright i say that’s our cue for now and we go to bed, we’ll try this again tomorrow

**mattata:** sounds like a plan, night y’all 

**carrierpidgeon:** night

**hunkerdunker:** sleep tight

**shayfromstatefarm:** good night

**takashmeoutside:** goooooood night 

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** please tell me he’s staying home tomorrow

**lanceylance:** i don’t know

**lanceylance:** he cried himself out and now he’s sleeping 

**lanceylance:** he’s just 

**lanceylance:** had a really really bad day after a bad weekend

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** if he doesn’t text me in the morning, just let me know how he is?

**lanceylance:** u got it dude

**lanceylance:** gonna go

**takashmeoutside:** alright, have a good night

**lanceylance:** you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA gonna go distract myself and write stars go down bYE


	133. recovery, lots of creatures, and a lack of pants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent tuesday chapter: keith's taking his time recovering, the physics final happens,,, that's it
> 
> wednesday summary: keith is still recovering, lance continues to be concerned and the Best Boyf, emitie (what? you'll see), creatures, and lance's disdain for wearing pants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't gonna write another chapter but then i did bc my inspiration for stars go down is currently lying on the floor crying right now

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey

**kogayne:** hey

**lanceylance:** how are things looking today

**kogayne:** well

**kogayne:** i’m not waking up with a raging headache

**kogayne:** and i’ve managed to beat depression back down into the hole it came from

**kogayne:** granted there’s nothing covering the hole and i have therapy later so i’m gonna have to dig everything back up

**kogayne:** but uhh? i’m okay i guess

**kogayne:** better than yesterday

**kogayne:** definitely better than monday

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** day off from the group chat do you some good?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** and i feel like

**kogayne:** going to school was the right decision

**kogayne:** skipping would’ve made me more anxious and then i’d have had to make up the physics final

**kogayne:** and i’m talking way too much

**lanceylance:** no ur not 

**lanceylance:** i love listening to u

**lanceylance:** ur a Good

**kogayne:** :)

**lanceylance:** so what’s our plan for the day

**kogayne:** shay took me off the schedule bc my appointment is right after school

**kogayne:** i’m gonna try going by myself and seeing how it goes

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** what about this morning

**kogayne:** i feel like

**kogayne:** it’s easier to just go separately this morning

**kogayne:** just bc of conflicts in the afternoon

**lanceylance:** sounds good to me

**lanceylance:** u still want me get u coffee

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** i gotchu (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** see u in first period i love u

**kogayne:** love u too

**lanceylance:** aLSO LEMME KNOW WHEN U WANNA BE ADDED BACK TO THE GC TAKE UR TIME BUT JUST

**lanceylance:** LEMME KNOW

**lanceylance:** alright bye for real  <333

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** guys heLP when do relationships become like

**carrierpidgeon:** official things

**carrierpidgeon:** like when do u make the jump from “dating and going out” to “dating as girlfriends”

**allurable:** this is so soft omg

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT UR FUCK

**allurable:** PIDGE IS A SOFTIE

**carrierpidgeon:** ALLURA

**allurable:** SOFT

**carrierpidgeon:** SHIRO MATT COME GET UR GIRL

**mattata:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] MY SISTER IS BEING SOFT

**carrierpidgeon:** UR FUCKIN DEAD TO ME

**takashmeoutside:** yes hi pidge i’m here with actual advice

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks dad

**takashmeoutside:** every couple’s gonna take their own amount of time

**takashmeoutside:** my best advice is to really get to know them before going into the s/o stage

**takashmeoutside:** in the case of me and matt and me and allura and matt and allura we all knew each other for years before we actually dated

**lanceylance:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] I HEARD RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

**mattata:** u hoe i already kicked down the door

**lanceylance:** wtf man 

**mattata:** snooze u lose

**lanceylance:** well

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** what shiro said is correct

**lanceylance:** when u go exclusive u don’t /have/ to see a future w them necessarily, esp when ur so young, but also the point of going exclusive is like

**lanceylance:** “yes, we’re each others’ now”

**lanceylance:** like i’m not exactly sure why u would go exclusive if u don’t plan on staying together in the long-term

**lanceylance:** u two have been dating, what, like, two and a half weeks

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**shayfromstatefarm:** that’s early for someone ur age ewdegrfwfewfrwed sloooow down pidge

**shayfromstatefarm:** take ur time with this

**mattata:** also it’s cute that ur freaking out about this but why

**carrierpidgeon:** I DUNNO

**carrierpidgeon:** I WAS JUST

**carrierpidgeon:** THINKING ABOUT IT

**carrierpidgeon:** and

**carrierpidgeon:** I DUNNO SHE WAS BEING CUTE

**hunkerdunker:** first klance

**hunkerdunker:** occasionally shalluratt

**hunkerdunker:** and now pidge/emily

**lanceylance:** omg we gotta give them a ship name

**lanceylance:** also hunk shut ur fuck we get it u and shay are the best of us bc u keep ur grossness to urselves

**hunkerdunker:** ;P

**allurable:** pemily? pimily?

**carrierpidgeon:** that looks like pimply no thanks

**allurable:** emidge?

**mattata:** kemily

**mattata:** kamily

**mattata:** emitie

**allurable:** EMITIE IS CUTE

**carrierpidgeon:** emitie

**carrierpidgeon:** rhymes with titty

**takashmeoutside:** okay emitie cancelled—

**carrierpidgeon:** EMITIE CONFIRMED

**allurable:** fhgnfdrdgbd

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway

**carrierpidgeon:** thanks y’all for giving actual good advice first thing in the morning!

**lanceylance:** um all advice is good all the time

**lanceylance:** forever

**lanceylance:** constantly

**carrierpidgeon:** invalid

**lanceylance:** totally valid

**carrierpidgeon:** INVALID

**lanceylance:** VALID

**lanceylance:** AND SPEAKING OF VALID THINGS

**lanceylance:** imma add keith back to the gc

**lanceylance:** he doesn’t want attention drawn to his return just act like it’s any other day pls and thank u

**carrierpidgeon:** anything for mothman

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ to  _ **_ALIENS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** guys she’s still being cute

**hunkerdunker:** what’s she even doing that’s cute

**hunkerdunker:** what’s got u so whipped

**carrierpidgeon:** SHE

**kogayne:** oh god what did i walk into

**takashmeoutside:** u know how u like to spam me about lance

**takashmeoutside:** she’s spamming about emily

**kogayne:** OH?

**carrierpidgeon:** she looks

**carrierpidgeon:** v good in lab goggles

**mattata:** so does this mean if they become an official item one day then i’m gonna start getting spams about how much pidge loves her

**carrierpidgeon:** u bet ur sweet ass

**takashmeoutside:** alternatively: u and keith just start texting each other about your significant others

**carrierpidgeon:** where’s the fun in that

**carrierpidgeon:** we would never get annoyed

**mattata:** kashi what have we done

**mattata:** what have we raised

**takashmeoutside:** monsters

**kogayne:** if my only ability as a monster is to gush about how much lance means to me then uhhh fuck it i’ll go cryptid status fuck yeah

**kogayne:** my power is that any time i hear someone talking smack about lance they suddenly ~disappear~ and are never seen again :)

**carrierpidgeon:** qwdebrfweefw 

**carrierpidgeon:** inch resting

**carrierpidgeon:** which begs the question

**carrierpidgeon:** if you had to be a monster or mythical creature what would u be 

**lanceylance:** mermaid. done. next.

**allurable:** what’s with ur fixation on mermaids

**lanceylance:** no pants necessary

**hunkerdunker:** u barely wear pants anyway

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** was that bit of info needed, hunk

**hunkerdunker:** he /doesn’t/

**lanceylance:** if i’m in the comfort of my own home why the FUCK do i need pants

**hunkerdunker:** U BARELY WEAR THEM AT MY HOUSE EITHER

**kogayne:** OR MINE

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s it i’m buying lance pants for his birthday

**lanceylance:** no u know what i actually want

**shayfromstatefarm:** if ur gonna say one of those mermaid blankets then step the fuck back everyone i’ve already been crocheting for a month that shit is mine

**lanceylance:** SHAY WTF U ANGEL

**lanceylance:** lmao also speaking of birthdays

**lanceylance:** uhhh best not plan any parties

**mattata:** hold the fuck up u hoe it’s gemini season my birthday is in two weeks

**shayfromstatefarm:** and mine’s at the very end of june

**lanceylance:** listen i didn’t bring up the birthday pidge did

**lanceylance:** second

**lanceylance:** just warnin y’all

**lanceylance:** i’m going to cuba right after the fourth of july

**lanceylance:** and not coming back till literally the day before my birthday

**hunkerdunker:** day before? why would u leave cuba before ur birthday

**lanceylance:** i dunno

**lanceylance:** i mean ultimately trip dates were my mom’s decision

**lanceylance:** guess she wants me here for my bday? i dunno

**lanceylance:** except i’m gonna be super wiped out from traveling probably

**hunkerdunker:** well then

**carrierpidgeon:** ur telling me

**carrierpidgeon:** for almost a month

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m fREE?

**lanceylance:** it’s three weeks gremlin

**mattata:** we’ll miss u dude but also mY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP YOU FUCKS

**carrierpidgeon:** chill matt we’ll do something cool don’t u worry

**mattata:** i am never chill

**shayfromstatefarm:** bow to the squip

**hunkerdunker:** THAT’S NOT THE CENTRAL MESSAGE OF THE SHOW HOW MANY TIMES DO I GOTTA SAY SOMETHING

**hunkerdunker:** YOU HEATHENS

**lanceylance:** okay back to the original conversation what creatures would y’all be

**allurable:** a fairy or pixie

**allurable:** purely for the aesthetic and because they tend to be little shits

**lanceylance:** okay so you’re spending too much time with pidge

**mattata:** no she’s not she’s just always been like that but on the dl

**allurable:** ;D

**kogayne:** i wanna be mothman obviously

**carrierpidgeon:** i thought u wanted to fuck mothman

**kogayne:** nah

**kogayne:** if i can’t be mothman then i wanna be a dragon

**kogayne:** breathe fire

**kogayne:** fly

**kogayne:** hoard things

**carrierpidgeon:** i wanna be like

**carrierpidgeon:** idk, a siren or something

**carrierpidgeon:** harpy

**lanceylance:** sirens are just mermaids who lure people to their deaths with song

**carrierpidgeon:** actually this is another mythology thing emily was telling me about from latin

**lanceylance:** :) oh really?

**carrierpidgeon:** shut ur fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah, way back when

**carrierpidgeon:** sirens were birds with women’s heads who lured men to their deaths but somewhere along they way they became deadly mermaids

**hunkerdunker:** they way

**mattata:** DO YOU KNOW DE WAE

**takashmeoutside:** pls let that meme die

**takashmeoutside:** anyway i think being a werewolf might be kinda cool?

**lanceylance:** SPOT THE FURRY

**takashmeoutside:** TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

**lanceylance:** SO YOU ADMIT IT

**takashmeoutside:** WAIT NO

**lanceylance:** SHIRO’S A FURRY

**kogayne:** so how many furries are there now wait

**kogayne:** lance, pidge and hunk got exposed a while back,

**carrierpidgeon:** SLANDER

**kogayne:** and now /shiro/

**takashmeoutside:** i’m erasing myself from the narrative—

**hunkerdunker:** okay eliza

**takashmeoutside:** speaking of eliza

**kogayne:** SHUT UP SHIRO

**carrierpidgeon:** false, it was actually angelica—

**kogayne:** PIDGE

**lanceylance:** OWO WHAT’S THIS

**takashmeoutside:** pidge it was both of them depending on when we’re talking

**kogayne:** i will leave again don’t test me

**lanceylance:** is this gonna be something cute about keith

**allurable:** probably

**lanceylance:** TRICK QUESTION EVERYTHING ABOUT KEITH IS CUTE

**takashmeoutside:** so anyway during sophomore year when keith was a pining little shit,

**kogayne:** ohhhh my goooood

**lanceylance:** wrbgferfgberwge

**takashmeoutside:** that’s where i’m gonna leave it

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** :)

**kogayne:** i’m disowning you

**lanceylance:** did he like

**lanceylance:** listen to helpless all the time

**takashmeoutside:** uhhh that was /after/ may 4th

**kogayne:** DEAD TO ME

**lanceylance:** OH MY GOD DID HE LISTEN TO SATISFIED

**kogayne:** HOW THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** KEITH INSTINCTS

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** perhaps

**kogayne:** LISTEN I WAS PAINFULLY PINING OKAY

**kogayne:** SATISFIED JUST SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT SONG

**lanceylance:** this is precious oh my god il ove mybotfirned

**hunkerdunker:** ,,, anyway i’m jumping in to say being a griffin would be cool

**lanceylance:** OOOOOOO 

**kogayne:** hunk stop trying to one-up me

**shayfromstatefarm:** i wanna be a sphynx and speak in riddles all the time and confuse everyone around me

**allurable:** so we’ve established that me and shay and pidge are just gonna wreak havoc on everyone

**allurable:** MATT

**mattata:** WHAT

**allurable:** WHAT CREATURE

**mattata:** vampire

**mattata:** dark and mysterious and i can bite people without being looked down upon

**carrierpidgeon:** did we need to know that

**takashmeoutside:** u already b

**takashmeoutside:** I MEANT TO ERASE THAT FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** LOL SO THIS GROUP CHAT IS CANCELLED BYE

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** so how was therapy

**kogayne:** it went okay, i guess

**lanceylance:** u okay?

**kogayne:** keeping it together

**kogayne:** i’m just kinda

**kogayne:** chillin in my car right now

**kogayne:** panic released a new song and i still have leftover chinese from physics, so, u know

**kogayne:** pullin through

**lanceylance:** panic released a new song?

**kogayne:** yeah

_ (1) audio file from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** pretty hopeful

**kogayne:** probably gonna be playing this one on repeat for a while

**kogayne:** except replacing mama with shiro because shiro

**kogayne:** or maybe i’ll keep it and just like, think about ur mom or mrs holt

**lanceylance:** cute

**lanceylance:** is there anything that happened that i need to know

**kogayne:** mmm

**kogayne:** i mean

**kogayne:** like i said this morning i had to dig some stuff up so like

**kogayne:** i came close to breaking down

**kogayne:** i cried a little

**kogayne:** but i’m pretty okay now

**lanceylance:** u going home

**kogayne:** i’m gonna grab my laptop but then i think i’m gonna

**kogayne:** hit the café

**kogayne:** if i walk down there can i go back to ur house after

**lanceylance:** yeah of course!!

**kogayne:** also our therapist asked about you and why i didn’t bring anyone with me

**lanceylance:** what did u say and what did she ask

**kogayne:** she just asked how u were doing, if u were gonna be scheduling an appointment soon

**kogayne:** i said u were good as far as i knew and u had no plans at the moment

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** what did u tell her about going alone

**kogayne:** i,,, kinda explained to her what i told u the other day

**kogayne:** how i feel like i’ve kind of been

**kogayne:** too dependent on others to pull me out of my head

**kogayne:** so i’m trying to like

**kogayne:** do this on my own

**lanceylance:** and what did she say

**kogayne:** she basically said she liked that i can recognize where i think i have problems and that i’m actually like

**kogayne:** doing something about it

**kogayne:** but she said not to go too hard about it

**kogayne:** like what u said

**kogayne:** asking for help is okay and if i go too far i might end up self-isolating again and all that jazz

**lanceylance:** alrighty

**lanceylance:** anything else happen

**kogayne:** nnnnah that’s pretty much it

**kogayne:** i spent most of the time like

**kogayne:** explaining the email from my mom and my anxieties from that

**kogayne:** and then my shitty weekend

**kogayne:** and then how i spent monday losing my mind and yesterday recovering

**kogayne:** and that’s pretty much when i started crying

**kogayne:** and now we’re starting to look into possible meds

**kogayne:** so i have another meeting set up for next week and she wants shiro to be there bc like

**kogayne:** medical records and legal guardianship and stuff

**lanceylance:** i see

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** alright i’m gonna

**kogayne:** head home now

**kogayne:** i’ll see you soon

**lanceylance:** see you soon, drive safe

**lanceylance:** love you

**kogayne:** love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway i have a calc project due tomorrow...oh my god it's after midnight it's due TODAY GOTTA GO


	134. the aliens discuss space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith is much happier this week; soft klance is soft because they love each other; the group discusses space, interstellar, relativity, star wars, and then becomes a giant mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasn't gonna do a chapter today but then decided "fuck it, i'm writing a chapter today"
> 
> calculus project ain't due till next tuesday it can choke till then

**_ALIENS_ **

**kogayne:** if we get one more project i’m gonna fling myself out a window

**hunkerdunker:** i thought seniors with As or better in general-level classes got out of final projects this is some bULLSHIT

**hunkerdunker:** granted i love culinary but tHIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** calc project is looking slow

**lanceylance:** even tho i’m working with hunk and shay and some rando

**lanceylance:** lookin mIGHTY SLOW

**kogayne:** i paired up with acxa for that project and neither of us wanna do it

**kogayne:** it’s now a battle of patience to see who can hold out longer

**shayfromstatefarm:** you’re gonna worry about your grade and cave

**kogayne:** i’ve already secured valedictorian i have no worries about my grades anymore

**hunkerdunker:** and i got sal :,)

**lanceylance:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S MY BEST FUCKIN FRIEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND HE’S A GENIUS AND I LOVE HIM

**hunkerdunker:** except now i have to write a speech :,,,,,)

**kogayne:** you’ll be fine, just keep it short and sweet

**kogayne:** goodbye seniors, goodbye class, high school you can kiss my ass

**takashmeoutside:** jumping in to say you stole that from the suite life on deck finale

**kogayne:** shut ur fuck shiro

**takashmeoutside:** gotta keep u in line

**kogayne:** fight the power

**takashmeoutside:** no i am the power and i don’t wanna be fought

**mattata:** I AM THE SENATE NOW

**kogayne:** u absolute fool /i’m the senate now/

**kogayne:** why do u think sith lightsabers are red

**kogayne:** bc they’re meant for me

**carrierpidgeon:** settle down there edgelord

**kogayne:** no, i refuse to settle

**kogayne:** i’m finally coming out of the darkness and into the sun

**allurable:** i’ve been lurking but i just choked on my tea

**allurable:** did keith kogane just quote kelly fucking clarkson

**kogayne:** fight me allura

**lanceylance:** LET HIM QUOTE KELLY CLARKSON HE’S HAPPY TODAY

**allurable:** keith anyway how are u doing

**kogayne:** a lot better than last week aside from these fUCKING PROJECTS

**kogayne:** like

**kogayne:** i dunno, i’m?

**kogayne:** being overdramatic these projects aren’t that bad

**kogayne:** swdfgnefwd you KNOW WHAT IGNORE ME

**lanceylance:** shh no we want u to let all ur happiness shine everywhere

**carrierpidgeon:** #LetKeithBeHappy2k18

**kogayne:** WESRDTREWFGBDR SHHHH

**lanceylance:** :) i love u

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love u too AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** god what a mood

**hunkerdunker:** i personally want to do nothing these next three weeks

**lanceylance:** well, we’re close, we’ll only be in school for two of them

**lanceylance:** last week is all graduation rehearsal (⌐■_■) 

**carrierpidgeon:** u mean that’s an extra week of school i have to suffer without u fuckers

**kogayne:** pidge it’s ur finals week

**carrierpidgeon:** oH YEAH

**shayfromstatefarm:** way to go paul

**kogayne:** smh

**carrierpidgeon:** sassy keith strikes again who even are u and where did u come from

**kogayne:** body-snatcher

**kogayne:** ur precious keith is actually dead

**lanceylance:** u ABSOLUTE FOOL

**lanceylance:** THE BODY SNATCHERS HAVE NO EMOTION

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me how did we go from graduation to body snatchers

**shayfromstatefarm:** shhh don’t question the flow of the group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^ stop trying to swim against the current shiro

**takashmeoutside:** buh

**takashmeoutside:** wah

**allurable:** BUHWAHGUHWUH /LIPSTICK/ IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG—

**lanceylance:** allura u /would/ be that mom

**allurable:** absolutely not

**allurable:** if ur gonna go with quality u go with gucci

**takashmeoutside:** ...or u could like, go to target and get stuff for cheaper

**allurable:** shit u right

**shayfromstatefarm:** small brain: gucci

**shayfromstatefarm:** normal brain: target

**shayfromstatefarm:** galaxy brain: not buying anything at all bc ur fuckin broke

**lanceylance:** the true millennial-gen z experience

**shayfromstatefarm:** can’t go shopping if u don’t have money !!

**takashmeoutside:** u all...u all have money...u all have jOBS

**kogayne:** WE’RE ABOUT TO GO TO COLLEGE

**takashmeoutside:** shit u right

**lanceylance:** time to invite every last relative to my grad party and milk them for all they’re worth

**lanceylance:** my education isn’t gonna pay for itself

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s funny bc ur education is supposed to prepare u to get a job so u can pay off ur student loan debt

**lanceylance:** wELP THE SYSTEM IS SHOT TO SHIT SO

**lanceylance:** gonna be drowning in debt till the day i die

**carrierpidgeon:** nice alliteration u got there

**lanceylance:** thanks, my ap lang teacher would be proud

**lanceylance:** thace would probably glance at it and give me an A-

**mattata:** why do u all suddenly have a bone to pick with thace

**kogayne:** bc he was too lax at the beginning of the year but now he keeps dumping projects on us and i have had it up to HERE with projects

**kogayne:** except he doesn’t

**kogayne:** tAKE THE FUCKIN TIME TO PROPERLY GRADE THEM BC HE DOESN’T HAVE TIME

**mattata:** rest in pieces

**hunkerdunker:** good thing i’m not majoring in a writing field

**shayfromstatefarm:** [cries in journalism major]

**allurable:** LMAO YIKES

**shayfromstatefarm:** STOP LAUGHING ALLURA

**allurable:** NO

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith let’s take her on together

**allurable:** matt shiro back me up here

**mattata:** nah

**mattata:** ur strong bby u got this

**allurable:** matt u are absolutely no help

**takashmeoutside:** i’m just gonna

**takashmeoutside:** [runs]

**allurable:** u absolute weaklings

**mattata:** bye honey u got this!! [follows]

**allurable:** MATT

**lanceylance:** [these hoes ain’t loyal plays softly in the distance]

**allurable:** shut ur fuck mcclain i’ll drag u into the pit too

**kogayne:** ...GOOD TEAM

**lanceylance:** BEST TEAM

**allurable:** oh god

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk i can handle myself but feel free to join :)

**hunkerdunker:** uhhh obviously we need to squad up and take them at once

**lanceylance:** hELL YEAH

**allurable:** PIDGE PLS

**carrierpidgeon:** [eating popcorn] what

**allurable:** HEATHENS

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** help

**lanceylance:** what

**kogayne:** this weekend and this weather just makes me want summer more

**kogayne:** i miss having free time to screw around and i miss the hot weather and I’M GETTING SOFT WHAT THE FUCK

**lanceylance:** SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH

**kogayne:** except now

**kogayne:** if i continue on this train of thought

**kogayne:** I JUST END UP THINKING ABOUT U GOING AWAY FOR THREE WEEKS

**lanceylance:** ur just gonna have to find all the cryptids u can so u can tell me all about them

**kogayne:** u mean to tell me i have to plan three weeks of my life without u

**lanceylance:** the crew’s gonna be in town and u said u didn’t wanna go bc we need distance

**kogayne:** yeah, like, we do

**kogayne:** doesn’t mean i /want it/

**lanceylance:** you’ll survive

**kogayne:** yeah i know i will

**kogayne:** just kinda like

**kogayne:** summer’s our free time

**kogayne:** can’t spend it with you

**kogayne:** sometimes i really regret turning down the trip and i’m like 500% sure it’s bc i was in Deep Depression Mode that day

**lanceylance:** rip

**lanceylance:** distance makes the heart grow fonder

**kogayne:** my heart is already fond as fuck i’m not sure it can get much fonder

**lanceylance:** aww  <3

**kogayne:** literally what do i do those three weeks

**kogayne:** i can’t spend every single day hunting for cryptids pidge will get sick of me

**lanceylance:** go by urself? drag along hunk or like, make shiro or matt come??

**lanceylance:** allura? shay???

**lanceylance:** don’t forget u also have

**lanceylance:** ~work~

**kogayne:** maybe i’ll pick up more shifts and get more $$$

**kogayne:** maybe i can finally get a new laptop

**kogayne:** and a new phone

**kogayne:** oh my god between new electronics that aren’t crapping out and textbooks and room and board and tuition college is literally gonna kill me

**kogayne:** what if i just drop 

**lanceylance:** okay shhhhh yoU’RE GONNA BE HAPPY TODAY

**lanceylance:** DON’T WORRY ABOUT A THING

**lanceylance:** ur not gonna drop u hear me??? we’re gonna slug out that hell together and we’re gonna get thru together

**lanceylance:** maybe in pieces but we’ll get through and we’ll put each other back together

**kogayne:** dwfgrferwrgtbrewrgebrf stop being cute this is illegal

**lanceylance:** uhh i don’t see a sign anywhere i’m gonna continue

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** there’s ur sign

**lanceylance:** did u really just waste a piece of paper to do that

**kogayne:** Maybe So

**lanceylance:** ur so adorable what the fuck

**lanceylance:** that’s my man right there

**lanceylance:** love of my fucking life

**lanceylance:** large part of the reason i get up in the mornings

**lanceylance:** king of my heart

**kogayne:** i’m blushing so hard that thace just asked me if i was okay u motherfucker

**lanceylance:** :)

**lanceylance:** i love u baby  <333

**kogayne:** i love u too

**kogayne:** also word on the street is that we’re watching interstellar in physics

**lanceylance:** SPACE MOVIE

**kogayne:** SPACE MOVIE

**lanceylance:** okay on the one hand i’m excited

**lanceylance:** on the other hand

**lanceylance:** are we gonna get some bs assignment like we did when we watched apollo 13 last year

**kogayne:** what can we even do

**kogayne:** we’re second-semester seniors and we’re done with our final there’s literally no point in doing anything

**lanceylance:** i mean u right but also: /hira/

**kogayne:** true

**kogayne:** we’ll take it as it comes but personally i’m excited

**lanceylance:** man i wish i saw interstellar in theaters

**kogayne:** same

**lanceylance:** when did it come out, 2013?

**kogayne:** 14

**kogayne:** i was THIS close to asking a boy out to go with me 

**lanceylance:** you

**lanceylance:** ask someone out

**kogayne:** i never did bc i didn’t know he was fuckin bi i thought he was straight and hated me

**lanceylance:** wAIT A MINUTE

**kogayne:** MMMHMMMMMM

**lanceylance:** U WANTED TO ASK ME TO SEE INTERSTELLAR

**kogayne:** BUT U HAD TO GO CREATE THAT FUCKIN RIVALRY AND WERE STILL TRYNA BE MACHO MAN LANCE 

**lanceylance:** oh mygod ohmygodosfertefwgegrfw

**lanceylance:** I MISSED OUT ON A SPACE MOVIE WITH A CUTE BOY I’M GONNA END MYSELF

**kogayne:** NO SHH DO NOT END YOURSELF

**kogayne:** U WIN U GOT THE CUTE BOY AND NOW WE GET TO WATCH THE MOVIE

**lanceylance:** SHIT U RIGHT

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY CUTE BOY

**kogayne:** i too love my cute boy

**kogayne:** seeing his face automatically brightens my day and holding his hand calms me down and seeing him talk about the things he loves makes my heart thump

**lanceylance:** THAT WAS SO FUCKING SOFT WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** u make me soft u little SHIT STOP DOING THAT

**lanceylance:** well, when objects are in the presence of intense hotness, they tend to melt (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** that wording was wonky 6.5/10 try again

**lanceylance:** asshole

**kogayne:** ;)

**kogayne:** gotta go see u at lunch starboy

**lanceylance:** see u at lunch starlight  <33333

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**lanceylance:** BITCH WE’RE FUCKIN WATCHING INTERSTELLAR IN PHYSICS

**lanceylance:** AND HIRA’S NOT FUCKIN ASSIGNING WORK IT’S A BEAUTIFUL FRICKIN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

**mattata:** the fuck do u mean she’s not assigning work

**lanceylance:** shay u be hira hunk u be hunk

**hunkerdunker:** i dunno man seems a little difficult

**lanceylance:** hunketh garrett,

**hunkerdunker:** that’s not even my name

**lanceylance:** HUNKETH GARRETT

**hunkerdunker:** [long sigh] alright

**hunkerdunker:** “ahem” [raises hand]

**shayfromstatefarm:** [pauses as i’m putting in the dvd] “yes hunk?”

**hunkerdunker:** “uh...are we getting like, a viewing guide or anything? any kind of assessment to go with this?”

**shayfromstatefarm:** [looks at the door] [looks at the class] [drops voice] “listen, i know you all don’t wanna do work. i don’t wanna collect and grade work. as long as an administrator doesn’t walk in and ask what the assessment is, we’re not doing /anything/”

**lanceylance:** [cue the class sighing in relief]

**lanceylance:** aNYWAY

**lanceylance:** THAT MEANS I CAN WATCH MY SPACE MOVIE WITH NO INTERRUPTIONS

**lanceylance:** 1ST 5TH AND 6TH PERIODS ARE BASICALLY JUST MOVIE DATES WITH MY BOYFRIEND I LOVE HIM

**takashmeoutside:** isn’t 6...ur lab…

**lanceylance:** or health

**lanceylance:** and in health we’re also watching a movie

**mattata:** what kind of fucking movie could u be watching in health

**lanceylance:** uhhh it’s called girl positive

**lanceylance:** and it’s about hiv

**lanceylance:** except the film is from like, 2007, but looks like it was filmed in the late 90s/early 00s

**allurable:** WAIT NO I THINK I REMEMBER WATCHING THAT MOVIE I’M HAVING WAR FLASHBACKS

**takashmeoutside:** matthew and i were also subjected to that movie and then matt immediately made us get tested

**mattata:** BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY DID U NOT WATCH THAT FUCKIN FILM

**mattata:** smh whole message went right over his head ANYWAY

**takashmeoutside:** -_- anyway how do u consider watching that film a date

**lanceylance:** no active viewing guide and luxia doesn’t say anything when keith and i cuddle while we watch, it’s a Date

**allurable:** hunk shay are u guys on a date too

**hunkerdunker:** uhh obviously?

**carrierpidgeon:** NO I THOUGHT U TWO WERE BETTER THAN THAT

**hunkerdunker:** nope we’re heathens

**carrierpidgeon:** [wipes a single tear from my eye as i begin a wobbly-voiced rendition of heathens]

**allurable:** what the fuck did i just read

**shayfromstatefarm:** art

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY BYE GONNA GO 6TH PERIOD IS STARTING WE GOTTA KEEP WATCHING THIS SPACE MOVIE I’M SO LIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** keith how do u deal with him

**kogayne:** with love

**kogayne:** gotta gooo

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**lanceylance:** UPDATE RELATIVITY IS FUCKING WITH MY MIND

**lanceylance:** LIKE

**lanceylance:** THEORETICALLY IF WE WERE TO GO TO SPACE

**lanceylance:** WE COULD GO OUT AND EXPLORE VAST GALAXIES AND MAYBE A YEAR PASSES FOR US

**lanceylance:** WHILE EARTH COULD??? FUCKIN DIE????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** didn’t u know that already

**lanceylance:** YES BUT LIKE I WAS JUST VIOLENTLY REMINDED

**lanceylance:** LIKE

**lanceylance:** SPACE MOVIES MAKE INTERPLANETARY

**lanceylance:** or should i say...interstellar (☞⌐■_■)☞ 

**lanceylance:** TRAVEL LOOK SIMPLE

**lanceylance:** LIKE STAR WARS

**takashmeoutside:** lance

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**takashmeoutside:** sci-fi

**takashmeoutside:** fi

**takashmeoutside:** AS IN FICTION

**lanceylance:** BUT IT’S FUCKING WITH MY BRAIN

**mattata:** star wars is the one that really fucks with us because if it takes place a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, but all of these people had the high-tech gear that throws relativity out the window,,, what happened

**mattata:** why are we so technologically lacking now

**shayfromstatefarm:** because the library of alexandria bURNED

**allurable:** BUT THOSE WERE MOSTLY COPIES, THE ORIGINALS HAD TO HAVE BEEN OUT THERE SOMEWHERE

**carrierpidgeon:** DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA I GET UPSET AND ANGRY TO THE POINT OF TEARS

**mattata:** are those civilizations in star wars still out there

**mattata:** their tech would be even more advanced, but there’s been no contact,,,

**mattata:** what happened to them

**kogayne:** I’VE BEEN TRYING TO EXPOSE ALIENS FOR YEARS THE GOVERNMENT IS HIDING THEM

**takashmeoutside:** this conversation is a fucking trainwreck

**lanceylance:** ur face is a fuckin trainwreck

**takashmeoutside:** what are u 12

**lanceylance:** on a scale of 1 to 10, my good bitch

**takashmeoutside:** okay this is out of control dad is leaving you all to clean ur mess for urselves

**allurable:** WALKING OUT AGAIN JUST LIKE EARLIER WHEN U LET ME FIGHT THE KIDS ALONE

**hunkerdunker:** i look away from my phone for two minutes and suddenly the group chat has become a soap opera imma hop out too bye

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK NO DON’T LEAVE ME

**hunkerdunker:** perish

**shayfromstatefarm:** :O

**lanceylance:** WRFHERGBRW SO MUCH BETRAYAL TODAY

**kogayne:** ...shalluratt betrayed each other

**kogayne:** hunay betrayed each other

**kogayne:** we’re the last ones standing

**carrierpidgeon:** ...yeah so remind me if emily and i become an Actual Thing to never add her to a gc with u people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alrighty that's the chapter
> 
> time for some QUICK SELF-PROMO because the deceit so natural series is set to wrap within the next two weeks (aka: i'm tryna have this series finished before season 6), so if you haven't started reading it/have been putting off reading the final fic...now might be a good time to start :P
> 
> _**[Deceit So Natural](https://archiveofourown.org/series/767406)** is the trilogy that kicks off in **[Where People Go to Die](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539)** , when Lotor mistakenly believes that Lance is a spy for the Galra...and that he's just killed Keith. Lance is invited to return to the Empire with Lotor, and Team Voltron seizes this opportunity to get insider information by sending Lance and Keith undercover as a traitor and his prisoner. Things rapidly spiral out of control from there, setting up for a disastrous series of events that could decimate the universe._   
>  _Already read **WPGTD**? Head on over to **[Dynasty Decapitated](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473437/chapters/25727043)**!_   
>  _Finished **DD**? Wrap up the adventure in **[Stars Go Down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11743020/chapters/26462739)**!_


	135. everyone's mushy and soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pidge really really really likes her mutual crush; klance; team forest fire; broganes; holt siblings, ft. matt being a little shit after the underclassmen awards ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so basically underclassmen awards are a ceremony that happens during the school day where the freshies, sophs, and juniors get awards for their hard work, and senior scholarship night is the same day but...at night...as implied
> 
> this chapter doesn't focus much on that but i just thought i'd throw that in as an explanation
> 
> we don't need to see senior scholarship night, they'll all be there, no need to text, ANYWAY CARRY ON

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning

**lanceylance:** how was therapy yesterday

**kogayne:** aaaaa i don’t even know if there’s anything really worth talking about

**kogayne:** i discussed how my week was since the last meeting

**kogayne:** we started going over possible treatments

**kogayne:** so now i have a prescription i need to grab at the end of the week

**kogayne:** like, tomorrow

**lanceylance:** u in a good headspace?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** there’s just not much worth talking about from yesterday

**kogayne:** that’s why i didn’t text

**lanceylance:** okay good

**lanceylance:** what’s today’s game plan

**kogayne:** hang out till we have to go to scholarship night?

**lanceylance:** bet

**lanceylance:** am i driving or are u

**kogayne:** i’ll drive

**kogayne:** anything in particular u wanna do after school orrrr

**lanceylance:** nah, it’s up to you

**kogayne:** ...it’s nice out, u wanna go hiking

**lanceylance:** before a formal event?

**kogayne:** ...yes

**lanceylance:** ur so fuckin cute hell yeah we’ll go hiking

**lanceylance:** ohmygod i just had an idea can u hear me out

**lanceylance:** over the summer, when we’re not busy anymore

**lanceylance:** like, before i go away

**lanceylance:** or maybe we can do it after but point is we need to do it at some point

**kogayne:** what

**lanceylance:** listen do u remember back in like

**lanceylance:** december

**lanceylance:** we were talking about doing a photoshoot with the whole “prince lanceylance and brave knight kogane” thing

**kogayne:** yes

**lanceylance:** i wanna do it

**lanceylance:** we never did it and i still really wanna do it

**lanceylance:** i wanna go buy some costumes or make some and i wanna go in the woods and be cute with you

**lanceylance:** we can even get some of the others in on it

**lanceylance:** like

**lanceylance:** remember when pidge kept killing us

**kogayne:** she was having a bad day

**lanceylance:** yes i KNOW but anyway do u remember ur contribution

**lanceylance:** specifically, the one where u were dead

**kogayne:** i think i know what ur getting at but this is adorable pls keep going

**lanceylance:** so like

**lanceylance:** u were dead and i cradled u in my arms and brought u back to life with the powers i didn’t know i had

**lanceylance:** and i wanna recreate that scene

**kogayne:** you just want an excuse to cradle me in your arms

**lanceylance:** ;D

**lanceylance:** obviously?? i LOVE touching u

**kogayne:** today on “things lance says that need context”

**lanceylance:** dfhfgjngmgyhmntfg okay aSIDE FROM YOUR MIND BEING IN THE FUCKIN GUTTER

**lanceylance:** IT’S TRUE

**lanceylance:** besides u love being touched

**kogayne:** i was touch-starved as a kid okay

**lanceylance:** ohmygod

**lanceylance:** keith pls i’ll love u forever i’ll make sure ur never starved for love and affection ever again

**kogayne:** i’m so lucky u can’t see me rn bc holy shit

**lanceylance:** are u blushing or crying

**kogayne:** bothnowshuturfuck

**lanceylance:** YOU CUTE LITTLE SHIT

**kogayne:** stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

**lanceylance:** no i love when u get flustered

**kogayne:** boi

**lanceylance:** >;D

**lanceylance:** alright imma go get ready i’ll see u soon!!  <333

**kogayne:** smh  <3

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i am stress

**lanceylance:** high stress,

**hunkerdunker:** buddy u wanna try that again

**mattata:** high stress or high stress

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**mattata:** wh

**mattata:** how have u kept a stash hidden from mom and dad for so long and why didn’t u share

**carrierpidgeon:** shh

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYWAY I’M STRESSED OUT FINALS ARE COMING UP AND THE UNDERCLASSMEN AWARDS ARE TODAY AND I LIKE DRESSES BUT I FEEL? UNCOMFY TODAY?

**kogayne:** u good?

**shayfromstatefarm:** u need someone to talk to? i can dip from 1st and meet u in the bathroom

**carrierpidgeon:** no it’s not

**carrierpidgeon:** that bad i just feel weird werfrsgrtfhdty

**allurable:** any underlying causes u can identify?

**carrierpidgeon:** uhh i don’t wear dresses to school and i typically don’t /try/ for looking nice it just either happens or it doesn’t

**allurable:** you’ll be okay!!

**carrierpidgeon:** wrfsdfgbdfhnfd IT JUST FEELS WEIRD

**carrierpidgeon:** wefgdhhtthjtyukrthyjtyj i dunno i’ll get over it eventually i guess

**carrierpidgeon:** just gonna stress for like two periods till i calm down

**kogayne:** piiiiiiiiidge

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t sass me kogane

**kogayne:** no i do what i want

**carrierpidgeon:** ur ass is one to talk

**kogayne:** boi this is about u rn

**carrierpidgeon:** am i wrong

**kogayne:** no but thIS IS ABOUT YOU RN

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** fine i’ll be fINE

**kogayne:** talk to emily ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** listen here u little shit,

**mattata:** and how /is/ my future sister in law

**carrierpidgeon:** this whole group chat, last week: pidge take it slow ur a sophomore in hs this probably won’t even last

**carrierpidgeon:** u heathens, this week: sO wHeN iS tHe WeDdInG

**takashmeoutside:** to be fair, ur talking to a group chat full of high school sweethearts

**lanceylance:** aww keith is my sweetheart :)

**hunkerdunker:** and shay’s my sweetheart  <3

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...anyway

**kogayne:** so back to pidge,

**lanceylance:** :O

**hunkerdunker:** SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** ;)

**lanceylance:** look at this smug asshole

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** look how pleased he is with himself

**hunkerdunker:** i can only imagine shay is the same way right now

**shayfromstatefarm:** ;P

**lanceylance:** wow look at that betrayal

**hunkerdunker:** yeah i know

**lanceylance:** fINE KEITH I DON’T /NEED/ U

**hunkerdunker:** and shay i don’t need u either

**lanceylance:** hunk and i have each other now

**lanceylance:** [flings myself into hunk’s arms scooby-doo style]

**hunkerdunker:** [catches lance]

**takashmeoutside:** why does this read like a cringey roleplay

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** question for keith

**kogayne:** ...yes?

**allurable:** is lance texting all this while u two are cuddling

**lanceylance:** nO

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** mayhaps

**allurable:** dfgtedyjt6yfjhrtsdf lance you’ve been exposed how do u feel

**lanceylance:** my fuckin boyfriend betrayed me AGAIN

**kogayne:** all in a day’s work

**lanceylance:** the next installment in the brave knight chronicles is gonna be just

**lanceylance:** drama

**lanceylance:** prince lanceylance gets into somethin with the common baker hunk and makes the brave knight JEALOUS

**kogayne:** u absolute fool

**kogayne:** prince lanceylance and the brave knight are married

**kogayne:** u can’t divorce me now

**lanceylance:** uhhh yes i can

**allurable:** :o are we witnessing the death of klance

**kogayne:** no way

**lanceylance:** i love keith

**mattata:** ...then what /are/ we reading 

**lanceylance:** me being dramatic™ 

**mattata:** what a fucking leo

**lanceylance:** says the gemini

**mattata:** leave me and my precious twin zodiac alone

**lanceylance:** then leave my lion out of this

**kogayne:** leave his lion alone or i’ll send my scorpion army to sting the shit out of ur twins

**takashmeoutside:** an army of scorpions sounds terrifying, honestly

**kogayne:** GOOD

**kogayne:** that’ll teach u to leave the love of my life alone

**lanceylance:** :)

 

**_carrierpidgeon > emandem_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** uhhhHhhHhHh i meant to tell u in chem but i got distracted but uhhh

**carrierpidgeon:** you look

**carrierpidgeon:** reallycuteinyourdressokaybye

**emandem:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** sheiekejejej SHHHHHH THIS DIDNT HAPPEN

**emandem:** IT HAPPENED

**carrierpidgeon:** SHHHHHHHH

**carrierpidgeon:** ALSO UHHH

**carrierpidgeon:** underclassmen awards 

**emandem:** yeah that’s a thing that’s happening

**carrierpidgeon:** uh

**carrierpidgeon:** i may

**carrierpidgeon:** have been telling my brother about u

**carrierpidgeon:** and his s/os

**carrierpidgeon:** andtheymaytryandmeetyou

**emandem:** oh worm

**emandem:** my sister already knows about u too so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**carrierpidgeon:** is she going

**emandem:** nah, she doesn’t feel like missing physics

**emandem:** apparently they’re watching interstellar

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah, lance won’t shut up about it

**carrierpidgeon:** the relativity thing really fucked with him

**emandem:** are ur friends skipojt physics to come 

**carrierpidgeon:** skipojt

**emandem:** autocorrect just failed spectacularly 

**carrierpidgeon:** lmao

**carrierpidgeon:** nah they’re not

**carrierpidgeon:** didn’t expect them to

**emandem:** fair

**emandem:** i barely expected my sister to show, so

**carrierpidgeon:** aw :( why not

**emandem:** she’s always been very school > family

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t judge bc sometimes i just wanna go in that mode

**emandem:** i mean, same

**emandem:** im not bothered ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**emandem:** we’re currently in a competition to see who’s gonna end up with the higher-paying job in the future

**carrierpidgeon:** plot twist: u both end up at starbucks

**emandem:** LMAO PROBABLY

**emandem:** or balmera beans 

**emandem:** u guys uhhh

**emandem:** lookin for employees? 

**carrierpidgeon:** hold pls

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** what now

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** LMAO

_ (1) link from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** SEND THIS LINK TO HER

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAA OKAY

**carrierpidgeon:** ARE U BEING NICE OR DO WE ACTUALLY NEED NEW EMPLOYEES

**shayfromstatefarm:** considering four of us are about to dip for college, uhhh lookin for some new employees 

**kogayne:** aren’t there more than four leaving? lotor’s leaving too

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh shoot u right

**kogayne:** yeah we’re looking for replacements to train up and be regular so we can slowly pawn off our hours till we’re gone

**carrierpidgeon:** STOP LEAVING ME YOU ASSHOLES

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**carrierpidgeon:** B O I

 

**_carrierpidgeon > emandem_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** uhhhhhh YEAH since they’re losing a bunch of employees to college soon you’re in luck actually dndjdjd

_ (1) link from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**emandem:** holy shit i didn’t think that would work

**carrierpidgeon:** JDJEJEJDDJRN

**carrierpidgeon:** SORRY UH

**carrierpidgeon:** i tend to just

**carrierpidgeon:** keysmash

**carrierpidgeon:** as a reaction

**carrierpidgeon:** to everything

**emandem:** not surprised

**emandem:** you’ve only been doing that for several weeks now

**carrierpidgeon:** yOu’Ve OnLy BeEn DoInG tHaT fOr SeVeRaL wEeKs NoW

**carrierpidgeon:** LET ME LIVE

**emandem:** PERISH

_ (1) photo from  _ **_emandem_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** dodkdjsjdjdjrjdjd

 

**_ALIENS_ **

**lanceylance:** can we talk about how fuckin smooth that was

**lanceylance:** i didn’t know sarah’s little sister was cool

**carrierpidgeon:** she’s cool and cute i win

**kogayne:** but why did u just describe lance then

**lanceylance:** ASDFGNHFDS

**allurable:** keith stop trying to steal her spotlight

**carrierpidgeon:** nah, nah, he can have it

**carrierpidgeon:** the more time he wastes gushing about lance is more time i spend getting to know emily which will mean i’m closer to making it official so check fuckin mate

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** HELP

**kogayne:** what

**carrierpidgeon:** SO EMILY AND I WERE AT UNDERCLASSMEN AWARDS RIGHT

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** did u win anything good

**carrierpidgeon:** i got an award for my robotics class, precalc, and chem but anyway that’s nOT THE POINT

**kogayne:** you’d think an awards ceremony would be like, a big deal

**carrierpidgeon:** HUSH I’M TALKING ABOUT EMILY

**carrierpidgeon:** SO WE WERE AT THE AWARDS RIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** AND WE WENT DOWN TO THE RECEPTION AFTERWARD

**kogayne:** did she try to be smooth and make like she accidentally grabbed ur hand while u were walking

**carrierpidgeon:** no god i wish

**carrierpidgeon:** no so we’re at the reception right

**kogayne:** yes, that would be why half of my astronomy class is missing,

**carrierpidgeon:** shut ur fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** we go to the reception and i decided to meet up with matt and my parents there

**carrierpidgeon:** oh also shiro and allura are here i thought i’d let u know

**kogayne:** WHAT

**kogayne:** SHIRO DIDN’T TELL ME THAT

**carrierpidgeon:** frtrnewrgnbegber

**carrierpidgeon:** aNyWaY

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW DO I DEAL WITH MY OLDER SIBLING BEING ANNOYING ABOUT THIS

**kogayne:** i have waited 500 years for this day

**carrierpidgeon:** LITERALLY LIKE

**carrierpidgeon:** WE WALKED IN

**carrierpidgeon:** AND MATT’S LIKE

**carrierpidgeon:** “OH IS THAT YOUR FRIEND EMILY?” BUT THEN WHEN SHE WASN’T LOOKING HE NUDGED ME AND DID THAT STUPID EYEBROW WIGGLE

**carrierpidgeon:** AND HE WON’T

**carrierpidgeon:** STOP

**carrierpidgeon:** DOING IT

**kogayne:** finally, after suffering through years of shiro teasing,,

**carrierpidgeon:** u are absolutely no help, i’m not even gonna show u the cute pictures i got with em

**kogayne:** WAIT NO SHOW ME

**carrierpidgeon:** no fuck u

**kogayne:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** :P

**carrierpidgeon:** fine i’ll send one

**carrierpidgeon:** here’s the one we took with matt

_ (1) photo from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** ...matt’s doing that stupid finger circle

**carrierpidgeon:** wAIT IS

**carrierpidgeon:** HE IS

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** DID YOU THINK I WAS LYING

**carrierpidgeon:** MAYBE

**kogayne:** PIDGE

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** okay so number one fuck u for telling me u weren’t going with matt 

**takashmeoutside:** wtf why are u mad

**kogayne:** i could’ve told pidge to prank u or somethin i dunno IT FEELS WEIRD KNOWING YOU WERE IN THE BUILDING AND I WASN’T EVEN AWARE

**kogayne:** anyway number two

**kogayne:** lance and i are gonna go hiking for a couple hours

**takashmeoutside:** ??? seriously?

**kogayne:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** u get out at like 2:15

**kogayne:** yes and

**takashmeoutside:** u have to be back for 5:15

**kogayne:** yes and

**takashmeoutside:** you’ll be out in the dirt, plus there’s the drive to factor in,

**kogayne:** ...so we’ll be hiking for like an hour

**takashmeoutside:** that’s a waste

**kogayne:** time spent in the great outdoors with lance is never a waste take it back

**takashmeoutside:** no

**kogayne:** anyway we’ll be back with plenty of time to spare bc lance needs to do his beauty routine

**kogayne:** even tho i constantly tell him he’s already beautiful but what can ya do

**kogayne:** anyway i’m gonna go now

**kogayne:** WAIT I LIED ALSO

**kogayne:** i’m driving lance to the awards so he’s getting ready at our place

**takashmeoutside:** what about his beauty routine

**kogayne:** ...what, did u think that stash in the bathroom was mine? 

**takashmeoutside:** lance...has a beauty supply stash...in our bathroom

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** gotta love and support my husband and his beauty routine

**takashmeoutside:** u are so whipped

**kogayne:** u lil hoe i know that’s matt’s backup tech bag sitting in the basement

**kogayne:** and allura’s emergency makeup supplies sitting behind yours

**takashmeoutside:** fair enough have a nice day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tomorrow's pride month, u bet ur ass i'm gonna write a chapter for the first day of pride month
> 
> shoutout to all my lgbtq+ children ur valid i love u


	136. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S PRIDE MONTH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao sorry this was gonna go up sooner but real life got in the way so i missed my afternoon nap and ended up taking a nighttime nap and waking up in a blind panic thinking it was a school night and i still had to shower
> 
> then i realized it was friday and all was right with the world

**_ALIENS_ **

**lanceylance:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR]

 **lanceylance:** MOTHERFUCKERS

 **lanceylance:** IT’S

 **lanceylance:** PRIDE MOOOOOOOOOOOONTHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **_lanceylance_ ** _renamed_ **_ALIENS_ ** _to_ **_GAYLIENS_ **

**kogayne:** i want you all to read this scenario

 **kogayne:** but imagine it happening for real

 **kogayne:** because this is what i experienced at 6:30 this morning

 **takashmeoutside:** i let him in and let him do it

 **allurable:** and didn’t videotape it? smh fake ass

 **takashmeoutside:** excuse me i was too busy drinking my coffee and petting black and listening to keith shrieking upstairs

 **kogayne:** asshole

 **carrierpidgeon:** i wanna know what happened immediately /after/ between mr. pridepants and mr. i-sleep-with-a-knife

 **lanceylance:** well, uh

 **hunkerdunker:** oh?

 **kogayne:** um

 **shayfromstatefarm:** this oughta be good

 **takashmeoutside:** ...did u do something

 **kogayne:** well remember how lance screamed right after

 **takashmeoutside:** yes, i thought that was one of his happy “i’m seeing keith” screams

 **kogayne:** wow ur bad at deciphering screams

 **lanceylance:** yeah no that was a scream of terror

 **takashmeoutside:** what...what did u do

 **kogayne:** so uh

 **kogayne:** seeing as lance scared me shitless

 **kogayne:** and i wasn’t exactly fully awake

 **kogayne:** and we all know by now that my fight or flight automatically defaults to “fight”

 **kogayne:** and i sleep with a knife

 **takashmeoutside:** DID YOU STAB LANCE

 **kogayne:** okay nO,

 **lanceylance:** CAME PRETTY FUCKIN CLOSE

 **carrierpidgeon:** WHAT DID HE DO

 **kogayne:** there might

 **kogayne:** uhhhh

 **kogayne:** there might be a

 **kogayne:** shit

 **takashmeoutside:** am i going to go upstairs and find something i don’t like

 **kogayne:** it’s actually the lack of something

 **kogayne:** what u won’t find

 **kogayne:** is a section of the wall

 **takashmeoutside:** WHAT DID YOU DO

 **takashmeoutside:** WAIT I NEED TO GO SEE HOW BAD THIS IS

 **kogayne:** it’s not

 **kogayne:** huge or anything

 **carrierpidgeon:** omfg

 **shayfromstatefarm:** oh god

 **kogayne:** but uhhhh

 **lanceylance:** KEITH THREW THE KNIFE AT MY HEAD AT FULL FORCE

 **hunkerdunker:** HOLY SHIT

 **carrierpidgeon:** DQEBNTGRFSBNGRF

 **lanceylance:** he’s lucky i have fast reflexes and suddenly remembered that he sleeps with a weapon

 **takashmeoutside:** KEITH WHAT

 **takashmeoutside:** OH MY GOD THERE’S A SLIT IN THE WALL

 **kogayne:** BUT IT’S NOT HUGE IT’S JUST WHERE THE BLADE LANDED

 _(3) photos from_ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** LOOK AT THIS SHIT

 **kogayne:** OKAY IT’S NOT THAT BAD

 **takashmeoutside:** YOU CUT THE WALL

 **kogayne:** I WOKE UP TO SCREAMING AND MY DOOR SWINGING OPEN WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO

 **takashmeoutside:** TAKE COVER AND ASSESS

 **kogayne:** NO

 **kogayne:** ACT FIRST THINK LATER

 **mattata:** sorry i’m still not over the fact that a) he threw a knife at lance’s head and b) this is the first time it’s happened

 **lanceylance:** wdetwbegwfdwfe shiro i can pay for the damages

 **takashmeoutside:** /what/

 **lanceylance:** i mean, i’m the one that scared him

 **lanceylance:** and i knew he slept with a knife

 **kogayne:** ewsedwefdbegw shhhhhhhh i’m the one that threw it

 **takashmeoutside:** no u know what we’re gonna go nonchalant white dad on this

 **allurable:** NONCHALANT WHIT EDAD I JSUT CHOEKD

 **mattata:** why are u calling out my dad like this

 **allurable:** ERDFTGHMNTREWRF NTBRDN HNDB

 **takashmeoutside:** what i’m gonna do while i’m at work is buy a new picture frame

 **takashmeoutside:** keith, after school when u go to get the Thing ur gonna go buy a nice picture or get a print of one of ur pictures to put in the frame

 **takashmeoutside:** and we’re gonna cover it and act like nothing happened

 **takashmeoutside:** maybe one day in like three years when the picture frame falls and i see the slit i’ll try and patch it but for now we’re just gonna put a frame over that sucker and call it a day

 **kogayne:** ur way too calm about this where’s the real shiro

 **allurable:** he’s probably having flashbacks to when matt put a whole leg through the wall during his and shiro’s college grad party

 **carrierpidgeon:** MATT WHAT

 **allurable:** lmao yep

 **mattata:** HUSH ALLURA

 **carrierpidgeon:** I WANNA HEAR ABOUT MY BROTHER PUTTING A LEG THROUGH THE WALL AT THE PARTY I WASN’T ALLOWED TO GO TO

 **kogayne:** ...this was only like 4 years ago wasn’t it?

 **allurable:** FIVE, YEAH

 **allurable:** MATT PUT A FUCKIN LEG THROUGH THE WALL IN ONE OF MY GAME ROOMS

 **shayfromstatefarm:** “one of” i think a part of my soul just died

 **allurable:** okAY SO

 **mattata:** i hate this story qewrgtfwfbr

 **allurable:** seeing as my father, for some strange reason, adored matt and shiro

 **takashmeoutside:** excuse me i was a Perfect Gentleman

 **kogayne:** “was” damn right what happened

 **allurable:** and when they graduated he oh-so-charitably opened the mansion for them to use to host a joint grad party

 **allurable:** and seeing as most of the attendees were college kids or adult relatives, there was an abundance of alcohol

 **allurable:** bc obviously to celebrate escaping hell i mean graduating college you need to have alcohol to celebrate

 **allurable:** shiro refused to drink bc he had to leave early to go watch keith, who was actually getting paid to babysit pidge

 **kogayne:** they entrusted eleven-year-old pidge to thirteen-year-old keith and assumed it would go well

 **lanceylance:** you two were just bABIES YOU /BOTH/ NEEDED A BABYSITTER

 **allurable:** yeah well sam and colleen were at the grad party so

 **shayfromstatefarm:** omhyogd

 **allurable:** anyway, matt didn’t have that same responsibility

 **allurable:** bc mr. bff shiro was also his /ride home/

 **takashmeoutside:** designated driver

 **allurable:** also dad friend

 **mattata:** he upgraded to daddy ;P

 **carrierpidgeon:** put that fuckin tongue away

 **mattata:** slurp

 **carrierpidgeon:** NO

 **allurable:** ANYWAY BACK TO MY STORY STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT MATTHEW

 **mattata:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **allurable:** MATT TOOK UP SOME KIND OF BET OR DID A DARE OR SOME SHIT

 **hunkerdunker:** is it just a holt thing to take up bets without asking questions

 **carrierpidgeon:** u know the phrase “just bc u can doesn’t mean u should”

 **hunkerdunker:** yes

 **carrierpidgeon:** it rarely applies to holts

 **mattata:** yeah and contrary to popular belief we get that from mom, dad just doesn’t do anything to stop it

 **hunkerdunker:** [gasp] /colleen/

 **allurable:** SO matt took up a bet or dare or whatever

 **allurable:** and he was already pretty drunk

 **allurable:** and part of it involved a pool cue and part of it involved a handstand and the next thing you know matt nearly stabs someone with a pool cue before his entire leg goes into a wall

 **mattata:** there was a bathroom on the other side of that wall and i found out the hard way that it was occupied

 **kogayne:** oh my god

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith

 **carrierpidgeon:** keith ur cousin is dating that

 **kogayne:** pidge

 **kogayne:** pidge ur related to that

 **carrierpidgeon:** chaos runs in our families

 **kogayne:** we’re fucked

 **shayfromstatefarm:** you’ve been fucked

 **lanceylance:** ;)

 **takashmeoutside:** KEITH IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I HAVEN’T HEARD ABOUT

 **mattata:** any other holes with long objects in them that shiro should be concerned with

 **carrierpidgeon:** STOP ETRGRWFBWSFBG

 **allurable:** I’M COHOKIGNG AGAIN

 **mattata:** :O WITHOUT ME?

 **carrierpidgeon:** I HATE

 **kogayne:** the first day of pride month is gay pride day and i declare that you’re all heathens and all dead to me

 **kogayne:** except pidge she can stay

 **carrierpidgeon:** >:D

 **lanceylance:** BETRAYAL

 

**_GAYLIENS_ **

**kogayne:** update i need my knife back

 **allurable:** this is concerning

 **kogayne:** mmm let’s see

 **kogayne:** how do i put this in a way u musical fuckers will appreciate

 **takashmeoutside:** oh no

 **kogayne:** ~on the first day of pride month some asshole gave to me, a harsh reminder of reality~

 **mattata:** who are we all ganging up on

 **kogayne:** i dunno

 **kogayne:** i passed my locker today

 **allurable:** wait u passed ur locker

 **kogayne:** we haven’t been doing much i haven’t opened it in like three weeks

 **kogayne:** but i noticed something new and rainbow-colored sticking out of it

 **kogayne:** and my first thought was that lance somehow snuck away long enough to stick something in my locker to be cute

 **kogayne:** but no i opened it and it was a homophobe calling me some not nice words and telling me i’m a freak this is fine :)

 **lanceylance:** IT IS 20GAYTEEN CAN PEOPLE NOT

 **carrierpidgeon:** sometimes i forget being gay in real life is like

 **carrierpidgeon:** not as fun as being gay on the internet

 **carrierpidgeon:** and then start wondering how many kids are still in the closet

 **carrierpidgeon:** because of shit like that

 **hunkerdunker:** i wanna know who did it so i can have a polite conversation with them as i tell them to take their ~opinions~ and sHOVE THEM BACK UP THEIR ASS

 **lanceylance:** i hate people sometimes and by sometimes i mean quite often

 **hunkerdunker:** [wins “everybody’s friend” in the yearbook]

 **lanceylance:** shhh

 **lanceylance:** i’m everybody’s friend solely because i am a Talented Actor

 **hunkerdunker:** oh really then

 **lanceylance:** hush hunketh i don’t make group chats with people i don’t like

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hello yes i love u and ur valid and that asshole can meet me in the pit

 **lanceylance:** ur fucking beautiful and smart and strong and brave and whoever that was was wRONG

 **kogayne:** did u know that my life would fuckin suck without you

 **lanceylance:** ummm if i wasn’t around i’m not sure how much suck ur life would contain bc uhhh

 **kogayne:** oh my god nvm i take it back

 **lanceylance:** wregewfbwfgbf :P  <33

 **kogayne:** <3

 **kogayne:** i’m not like

 **kogayne:** okay i’m not so much bothered for me, it’s more i’m bothered on behalf of the community as a whole bc like

 **kogayne:** i know i’m gay, there’s really not anything i can do about that, i have a loving boyfriend like try again elsewhere u shithead

 **kogayne:** but there are people who would be a lot more affected by it and like??? so what that i’m a boy who wants to kiss boys????? IT’S NOT AFFECTING YOUR LIFE IN ANY WAY

 **kogayne:** literally like

 **kogayne:** if it’s not bothering u why are u going out of ur way to be an asshole just stay in ur fucking lane it’s not that hard

 **lanceylance:** i agree

 **lanceylance:** so obviously the next move is to put SO MUCH LOVE INTO THIS WORLD that we just drown out all the hatred in an onslaught of rainbows and gay

 **kogayne:** rainbows, pinks and blues and purples, magentas and yellows and cyans, purples and grays and whites and blacks, cotton candy and white, a whole bunch of shades of pink and red,,,

 **lanceylance:** boi u know what i meant

 **kogayne:** :)

 **lanceylance:** but ur okay?? like ur really okay and not just covering?

 **kogayne:** i’m good, i promise

 **lanceylance:** excellent

 **lanceylance:** also seeing as it’s friday and buzzfeed unsolved day and ur specific pride day do u wanna do something after school and we call it a date even if the impending rain ends up holing us up at my house for the night

 **kogayne:** !!!!!!! YES

 **lanceylance:** good

 **lanceylance:** if the rain wasn’t such an ass i’d...take u anywhere

 **kogayne:** u saw nate’s album dropped then

 **lanceylance:** and u put take me anywhere on ur fuckin depression playlist

 **lanceylance:** u and me

 **lanceylance:** we’re in this thing for life

 **lanceylance:** wherever i go i’m gonna do my damnedest to take u with me

 **kogayne:** i’d follow u to the ends of the earth

 **lanceylance:** i’d crawl through hell for you

 **kogayne:** stop trying to one-up me wrergwergergwf

 **lanceylance:** i love u starliiiiiiiiiiiight  <333

 

**_GAYLIENS_ **

**hunkerdunker:** period three update: nobody warned me lance was in his keith shirt

 **takashmeoutside:** keith shirt?

 **kogayne:** HE CALLS IT HIS KEITH SHIRT??

 **allurable:** u whipped fucking softies

 **takashmeoutside:** WHAT SHIRT

 **kogayne:** enejsjdjddjdj lance why are u like this

 **shayfromstatefarm:** today on “we broke keith before lunch”

 **takashmeoutside:** W H A T  S H I R T

 **mattata:** wait is it the one keith put on snapchat like 2 weeks ago for his nighttime streaks

 **takashmeoutside:** KEITH HAS SNAP STREAKS WITH PEOPLE OTHER THAN LANCE???

 **kogayne:** MATT U ASS

 **mattata:** YOU DON’T HAVE A STREAK WITH SHIRO???

 **kogayne:** NOW HE’S GONNA START ONE SO

 **takashmeoutside:** SNAP ME BACK ASSHOLE

 **kogayne:** NO I HAVE SHITTY SERVICE

 **takashmeoutside:** YOU SNAP LANCE DURING SCHOOL 24/7 YOU FUCKING LIAR

 **lanceylance:** SHIRO THE SHIRT

 **takashmeoutside:** WHAT SHIRT

 **lanceylance:** IT’S MY “I’M NOT GAY BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS” SHIRT

 **lanceylance:** BECAUSE DAY 1 OF PRIDE MONTH IS GAY PRIDE DAY

 **lanceylance:** AND I’M NOT GAY BUT KEITH IS

 **kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** he loves me what can i say

 **takashmeoutside:** u two get shirts dedicated to each other and i can’t even get a fuckin snap streak

 **kogayne:** i never said i had a shirt to match lance

 **takashmeoutside:** boi i do half the laundry around here

 **lanceylance:** HE HAS A SHIRT FOR ME

 **takashmeoutside:** :) maybe

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve never seen it

 **hunkerdunker:** neither have i

 **mattata:** ^^^

 **allurable:** ooooooo

 **carrierpidgeon:** i’ve seen it :P

 **kogayne:** PIDGE

 _(2) photos from_ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**allurable:** “my boyfriend is bi-utifil” shUT UP THAT’S SO CUTE

 **kogayne:** im gonna crawl in a ditch and die now

 **lanceylance:** SHUT UR FUCK KEITH I LOVE YOU

 **lanceylance:** IS THAT NEW

 **kogayne:** i bought it a couple months ago and mostly wore it as a pajama shirt to break it in whenever we weren’t sleeping with each other

 **kogayne:** AND SHIRO RUINED MY FUCKIN SURPRISE

 **takashmeoutside:** YOU STILL HAVEN’T SNAPPED ME BACK

 **kogayne:** WHY ARE U STILL HUNG UP ON SNAP

 **takashmeoutside:** SNAP ME BACK AND I’LL STOP COMPLAINING

 **kogayne:** SHUT UP UR LIKE 6 WHY DO U HAVE SNAPCHAT

 **takashmeoutside:** I’M ALMOST 7 EXCUSE YOU

 **kogayne:** /WHY DOES A SEVEN YEAR OLD HAVE SNAPCHAT/

 **takashmeoutside:** I’M NOT GONNA STOP TILL U SNAP ME BACK

 **kogayne:** OHHHHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

**_GAYLIENS_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** fun pride month 20gayteen idea: pidge adds emily to the group chat

 **carrierpidgeon:** u heathens are gonna scare her away

 **lanceylance:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] /what?/ [DRAMATICALLY CLUTCHES CHEST] /us?/ [THROWS MYSELF ONTO A CHAISE AND PUTS MY ARM ON MY FOREHEAD] /scare ur future gf away?/

 **carrierpidgeon:** see above

 **kogayne:** also uhhh why would we add her to this iconic group chat when we could make another iconic group chat

 **mattata:** even better: pls leave us adults out of it maybe she’ll feel better

 **carrierpidgeon:** ...wait i have an idea

 **carrierpidgen:** [context for the adults: i’m makin a new gc]

 

 ** _carrierpidgeon_** _added_ ** _emandem_** _,_ ** _kogayne_** _,_ ** _lanceylance_** _,_ ** _hunkerdunker_** _,_ ** _shayfromstatefarm_** _,_ ** _lotoreal_** _,_ ** _dinezor_** _,_ ** _acxalutelynot_** _,_ ** _sippinganartin_** _i,_ ** _zethridofmyproblems_** _,_ ** _madplax_** _,_ ** _floronawiththecorona_** _,_ ** _blumpyfumpy_** _,_ _and_ ** _swirnupanddown_** _to_ ** _pride month motherfuckers_**

 **carrierpidgeon:** hi everyone welcome to the new school group chat

 **dinezor:** oh my god there are so many of us

 **lotoreal:** why is this being made two weeks before 98% of this group chat graduates

 **lanceylance:** ACTUALLY,

 **emandem:** what’s going on

 **hunkerdunker:** oh this is gonna be a big ol mess

 **lotoreal:** oh goodness

 **lanceylance:** THERE ARE 15 PEOPLE HERE

 **lotoreal:** and

 **lanceylance:** 13/15

 **lanceylance:** IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO 98%

 **lanceylance:** IT’S 86.67%

 **lotoreal:** well my mis--okay and??

 **emandem:** MATH DISCOURSE I LOVE THIS

 **kogayne:** aedbnerwgbdef

 **carrierpidgeon:** ke ith

 **lanceylance:** IF YOU WERE TO CALCULATE YOUR PERCENT ERROR

 **madplax:** ew math discourse

 **hunkerdunker:** shh this is one time he’ll be happy to use percent error because it’s not a lab and he’s not trying to bash his head into a wall

 **lanceylance:** IT WOULD BE 13.08%

 **lanceylance:** THAT’S SUCKY MATH

 **lotoreal:** IT WAS AN ESTIMATE

 **floronawiththecorona:** hold up i have a question about the group chat name in relation to everyone here

 **floronawiththecorona:** are we all...not straight...or not cis…

 **floronawiththecorona:** ANYONE GONNA RESPOND ORRRR

 **lanceylance:** ...LMAO SO WHAT’S EVERYONE CELEBRATING THIS MONTH

 **lanceylance:** (i mean, if ur comf, if not just sit comfy)

 **madplax:** u go first

 **lanceylance:** ALRIGHTY

 **lanceylance:** hi everyone i’m lance  and i love keith kogane and if i was a vampire i’d be bisucksual

 **madplax:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he’s already ruined it

 **kogayne:** check the username ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **hunkerdunker:** hi guys i’m pansexual

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hi i’m bi

 **madplax:** i appreciate shay and on that note i’m on the bi bandwagon

 **carrierpidgeon:** oh god can we not with the alliteration

 **madplax:** u fool, i am in control now

 **carrierpidgeon:** I MADE THE GROUP CHAT

 **lanceylance:** BOI U TAKE CONTROL IN THE GROUP CHATS /I/ MAKE

 **lanceylance:** ANYWAY KEEP GOING

 **floronawiththecorona:** HI I’M FLORONA AND I LIKE GIRLS

 **dinezor:** JOIN THE CLUB

 **acxalutelynot:** rumor has it if enough people join the club we get jackets :P

 **sippinganartini:** pls stitch a tiny trans flag into my lesbian jacket

 **dinezor:** OF COURSE

 **swirnupanddown:** wait, you too??

 **sippinganartini:** the trans part or the lesbian part

 **swirnupanddown:** uhh yes?

 **zethridofmyproblems:** dfs hbwgerbdn bwgrbd this is amazing

 **blumpyfumpy:** if there’s the lesbian league and the bi bandwagon i propose we start the trans triforce bc hello

 **blumpyfumpy:** i am also part of the pansexual parade

 **zethridofmyproblems:** YOOOOOO

 **hunkerdunker:** HELLO

 **lotoreal:** well...i suppose i have a float in this parade as well

 **emandem:** smh bi bandwagon needs to get its act together i want jackets too

 **carrierpidgeon:** am,,, am i really the only asexual here

 **carrierpidgeon:** ...LMAO HI I’M PIDGE I’M A DEMI???HOMOROMANTIC ASEXUAL

 **kogayne:** a baby gayce

 **kogayne:** that’s okay looks like i’m the only one in the brigayde so we can join forces

 **carrierpidgeon:** also keith is basically my older brother ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **kogayne:** :)

 **lanceylance:** is that it? are we all out to each other now?

 **madplax:** fifteen of us...and not a single one is straight and cis...how

 **madplax:** HOW

 **kogayne:** gaydar

 **lanceylance:** that theory that lgbtq+ people just

 **lanceylance:** somehow flock to each other

 **lanceylance:** even if they don’t know it yet

 **floronawiththecorona:** i, for one, think this is beautiful

 **floronawiththecorona:** idk how or why this is a thing but i like it

 **madplax:** yeah i guess i can stand being in the same gc with lance

 **lanceylance:** CHEAP SHOT

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** ~on the first day of pride month my true love gave to me: a k-i-s-s in a t-r-e-e~

 **kogayne:**  aka hi i’m at lance’s and i’m probably spending the night

 **kogayne:** rain is holding off so we might go out but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **takashmeoutside:** u gonna snap me back orrr

 **kogayne:** SHIRO WILL U GET OFF OF SNAPCHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eileen is my name and promoting natewantstobattle is my game
> 
> SERIOUSLY HIS NEW ALBUM DROPPED IT'S CALLED PAID IN EXPOSURE AND IT'S A FUCKIN BOP
> 
> top 5 songs in somewhat of an order:  
> -phantom  
> -until the wolves come out  
> -smoke and guns  
> -sleight of hand  
> -the wrecked and the worried  
> honorable mentions:  
> -paid in exposure  
> -dream alone
> 
> alrighty see y'all whenever the next one is


	137. MATT DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hereby declare june 6th, aka national eyewear day, memetthew's birthday, ft. shalluratt/shatt/mallura, klance, some emitie, and other shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> matt's birthday isn't canon so i made up my own and if vld has anything to say about it they can meet me in the pit
> 
> just kidding ~~or am i~~
> 
> anyway i almost added this chapter to stars go down by accident bc i'm used to squad up being at the top of my works list so ANYWAY THAT HAPPENED HERE'S THE CHAPTER

**_takashmeoutside > mattata_ **

**takashmeoutside:** happy birthday, matt

**takashmeoutside:** there aren’t enough words to describe the joy i feel at having you in my life, and how grateful i am that you’ve been here through it all. you’re funny and smart and loyal, and i think everyone needs a dedicated brother, son, friend, and boyfriend like you in their lives. life without you would absolutely SUCK, and i’m glad you’re still here

**takashmeoutside:** love you

**mattata:** kashi u absolute fucking sap

**mattata:** i love you too

 

**_alluable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!! this year was really fuckin weird for us but it’s the good weird and i’m glad things came together after college, i’m glad we all finally opened up and now we’ve got happy lives ahead of us, and i wouldn’t wanna do this life without u, love u!!!

**mattata:** damn ur slacking shiro had a longer paragraph

**allurable:** frgenegwbdg OHHMYGOD WHY CAN’T U JUST SHUT UP AND TAKE THE FRICKIN COMPLIMEEEEEEEEENT

**mattata:** fwgbrewfsadsbsd I LOVE U

**allurable:** LOVE U TOO

 

**_GAYLIENS_ **

**_takashmeoutside_ ** _ renamed  _ **_GAYLIENS_ ** _ to  _ **_MATT DAY_ **

**takashmeoutside:** happy birthday matt!

**allurable:** happy birthday matthew!!

**carrierpidgeon:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA FUCKIN MEMER

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro beat me to renaming the group chat don’t mind me being mildly salted

**carrierpidgeon:** *SALTY

**mattata:** everyone my sister is a potato chip

**hunkerdunker:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT

**shayfromstatefarm:** happy birthday maaaaatt

**lanceylance:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE

**lanceylance:** but also does she go rip rip

**carrierpidgeon:** guess i’ll just [drops to floor] DIE

**kogayne:** happy birthday matt!

**mattata:** do u and shiro ever vary ur texts

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** oh wow

**kogayne:** happy birthday mat!

**kogayne:** there we go :)

**mattata:** qdwebvrwf i’m having flashbacks to doormatt now

**allurable:** iconic

**carrierpidgeon:** did u know matt was born on national eyewear day

**kogayne:** really now

**mattata:** my dad wouldn’t shut up about it

**mattata:** funnily enough my eighth birthday was when i found out i needed glasses

**mattata:** needing glasses 

**mattata:** on national eyewear day

**mattata:** and you have two eyes

**mattata:** glasses-wearers often get called “four eyes”

**mattata:** four times two is eight

**mattata:** i was turning eight

**hunkerdunker:** that sounded like one of those illuminati conspiracy videos

**hunkerdunker:** “eel has three letters there are three sides to a triangle a triangle is the symbol of the illuminati eels are members of the illuminati #confirmed”

**kogayne:** I HEARD CONSPIRACIES

**hunkerdunker:** weren’t you already here

**kogayne:** i was only half-paying attention but now my attention is undivided

**takashmeoutside:** [sigh] of course it is

**kogayne:** LET ME LIVE

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**lanceylance:** i liked these block schedules yesterday bc i saw keith most of the day but uhhh today i don’t see him till lunch and also i have ryner’s class???? this is biphobia

**madplax:** why is this the first thing i open the group chat to

**lanceylance:** it’s the only thing /to/ open the group chat to

**madplax:** i want a refund

**acxalutelynot:** i don’t see the point of seniors having to be here we’re literally doing nothing

**acxalutelynot:** i started having to bring my phone charger because i’m bored with nothing to do

**floronawiththecorona:** see i started bringing my pillow pet

**swirnupanddown:** this is why i can’t be seen with you

**shayfromstatefarm:** psssst....which pillow pet is it

**floronawiththecorona:** the frog

**lanceylance:** I SHOULD’VE BROUGHT MY SHARK DAMN

**lanceylance:** flor ur a genius

**floronawiththecorona:** i need a pillow if all i’m gonna do in school is sleep

**carrierpidgeon:** listen,,, wasting ur life away is not just a senior problem

**carrierpidgeon:** all of our finals were projects so they’re done aND WE STILL HAVE NEXT WEEK BC WE’RE FORCED TO COME IN

**kogayne:** ew, even if ur exams are done?

**emandem:** yeah

**carrierpidgeon:** the school district hates us idk if you noticed

**shayfromstatefarm:** so ur gonna come in next week and...do what?

**carrierpidgeon:** take a leaf out of flor’s book and SLEEP

**floronawiththecorona:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**blumpyfumpy:** i don’t need a pillow i’ll sleep on the floor if i have to

**kogayne:** i don’t have this issue of needing a pillow :P

**madplax:** KOGANE

**kogayne:** my boyfriend makes a good pillow 

**madplax:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lotoreal:** and a good morning to you too

**madplax:** which one of us are you speaking sarcastically to

**lotoreal:** does it matter

**madplax:** yES?

**kogayne:** ur sass does nOTHING, YOU ARE POWERLESS HERE

**acxalutelynot:** ...so does anyone know if keith’s been sleeping

**dinezor:** probably not

**lanceylance:** i’ve been keeping an eye on him dw abt it

**madplax:** why does that make me more worried

**lanceylance:** I’M A GOOD BOYFRIEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** u know who else is a good boyfriend

**shayfromstatefarm:** huuuuuuunk

**hunkerdunker:** :)

**zethridofmyproblems:** :O HUNAY is being mushy in the chat?

**shayfromstatefarm:** mayhaps

**hunkerdunker:** hunayhaps

**emandem:** 4.5/10 poor execution

**hunkerdunker:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** AMAZING

**sippinganartini:** well damn

**zethridofmyproblems:** hunk ur being called out by a soph how do u feel

**hunkerdunker:** i’m friends with pidge i should be used to this by now

**carrierpidgeon:** >;D

**hunkerdunker:** smh

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** yeah speaking of sleep

**lanceylance:** what’s up

**lanceylance:** how are the meds working

**kogayne:** headache still won’t go away, but i’ve gotta give it a few more days before i talk to the doctor

**kogayne:** sleep disturbances should subside soon

**kogayne:** there’s a chance this stuff affects my anxiety but so far so good

**kogayne:** and i’ve got,,, weeks to go before i’ll probably feel any actual effects on my depression, so

**kogayne:** we’ll see what happens, i guess

**lanceylance:** yeahhh

**lanceylance:** ur doing good for ur first 3 days tho :P

**kogayne:** day 3 is just beginning i would hold off judgment till tonight

**kogayne:** i was nauseous yesterday and if the feeling comes back then cATCH ME IN THE BATHROOM

**lanceylance:** u gonna need me to hold ur hair back orrr

**lanceylance:** bc boi we got work

**kogayne:** yeah i know

**kogayne:** and...maybe…

**lanceylance:** whatever u need say the word i gotchu

**kogayne:** <333 thanks starboy

**lanceylance:** <333 :)

**lanceylance:** so what’s the game plan for the rest of the day

**lanceylance:** u know, when my schedule stops hating me and lets me see ur beautiful face again

**kogayne:** i just wanna sleep 

**kogayne:** i didn’t get much last night

**lanceylance:** define “didn’t get much”

**kogayne:** went to bed at two, woke up at 4:30 irrationally angry that it was 4:30, and then had to get back up at 6

**lanceylance:** oof yeah okay you definitely need a nap

**kogayne:** what, were u gonna say no if i was like “yeah i went to bed super early actually and slept for 12 hours”

**lanceylance:** pfft clearly, no naptime cuddles for u

**lanceylance:** but no anyway

**lanceylance:** nap away

**lanceylance:** if u need aNyThInG let me know, i got ur back

**kogayne:** u don’t really have to

**lanceylance:** Bitch How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You

**kogayne:** wregfefwdgrfe really

**kogayne:** but ur cute so i guess i’ll let it slide

**lanceylance:** yeah but ur the cutest so :/

**kogayne:** u can’t just drop casual compliments it doESN’T WORK LIKE THAT

**lanceylance:** ummm we’ve clearly established that it does, in fact, work like that

**lanceylance:** let me entertain myself and love u so i don’t bash my head into my desk out of sheer boredom

**kogayne:** what’s going on in ryner’s class

**lanceylance:** everyone presented their projects and we still have an hour to kill

**lanceylance:** except teachers have been letting students sneak off to other classes so maybe i’ll just come to thace’s room

**kogayne:** or, seeing as all of my friends are in ur math class, i ditch thace to go see you

**lanceylance:** how are kids gonna survive these block schedules next year i can’t handle one day

**lanceylance:** why couldn’t they give us a normal final schedule so i could ditch every single day

**kogayne:** as pidge so eloquently put it in the gc: the school district hates us idk if you noticed

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** so is this happening is one of us ditching to go see the other orrrrr

**kogayne:** i wanna go see u and hunk and shay do u think ryner would be cool with me coming to her class

**lanceylance:** “we’re not doing anything i don’t see why not” -ryner, june 6th, 2018

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** thace couldn’t give less of a shit so i’m omw

 

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ , _ **_takashmeoutside_ ** _ ,  _ **_allurable_ ** _ ,  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ ,  _ **_hunkerdunker_ ** _ , and  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ to  _ **_memetthew’s birthday bash_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** hello hoes, are we still on for a birthday celebration on saturday 

**carrierpidgeon:** for memetthew’s 26th

**allurable:** wE BETTER BE

**allurable:** I HAVE PLANS FOR THIS PARTY THAT WE ARE NOT THROWING AWAY

**lanceylance:** pls say we’re getting a bounce house pls say we’re getting a bounce house pls say we’re getting a bounce house

**allurable:** [sigh] yes lance i rented a bounce house

**lanceylance:** nO FUCKING WAY YOU’RE JUST MAKING THAT UP TO KEEP ME QUIET

_ (1) photo from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** does this transaction look fake to you

**allurable:** i take memetthew’s equally intense desire for a bounce house seriously

**lanceylance:** solely for matt? curses, foiled again

**allurable:** boi it ain’t ur birthday

**lanceylance:** y’all better plan a sweet-ass party for my birthday

**shayfromstatefarm:** 1) sit ur ass down i have the next birthday in the squad

**shayfromstatefarm:** 2) didn’t u tell us not to plan for anything bc you’ll be exhausted from traveling

**lanceylance:** sHIT U RIGHT

**kogayne:** he says, as though i’d let him go without some sort of celebration at some point in time

**carrierpidgeon:** BACK TO MATT

**hunkerdunker:** back to the future

**takashmeoutside:** matt cosplayed marty mcfly for a party one year in college and listen he can pull off that look

**kogayne:** and then he obliterated shiro’s pan ass

**kogayne:** ...WAIT I MEANT HE LIKE, BLEW HIM AWAY

**kogayne:** WAIT NO

**carrierpidgeon:** and the hole u dig just keeps getting deeper

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**carrierpidgeon:** WAIT NO

**allurable:** ANYWAY YES WE’RE DOING A PARTY ON SATURDAY AND THERE’S A BOUNCE HOUSE ANY QUESTIONS

**takashmeoutside:** un-party related question: what are we doing tonight

**takashmeoutside:** just a dinner, right?

**allurable:** affirmative

**takashmeoutside:** excellent, i’ll drive tonight, u can either let matt have shotgun or cuddle in the back with him

**kogayne:** i’ve got lance and pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** oh jeez

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ve got hunk

**takashmeoutside:** excellent, our plans just get smoother and smoother with every passing birthday

**kogayne:** gifts tonight or gifts saturday

**allurable:** saturday

**kogayne:** good bc i need to go shopping

**shayfromstatefarm:** yup same

**hunkerdunker:** thirded

**lanceylance:** me too

**carrierpidgeon:** fuckin slackers

**lanceylance:** oh and just what did u get him

**carrierpidgeon:** i got him a /great/ gift, thank u, and i made it myself

**carrierpidgeon:** i made him a little robot buddy that tells him nice things

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s got wheels and everything

**shayfromstatefarm:** hold up i need a minute bc that’s precious

**carrierpidgeon:** only the best for brobro

**hunkerdunker:** “brobro” okay mabel

**carrierpidgeon:** okay first of all if i were to be dipper or mabel i would clearly be dipper

**lanceylance:** keith is dipper

**takashmeoutside:** keithhadathingfordipperwhengravityfallsfirstdropped

**kogayne:** HOW MANY OF MY FICTIONAL CRUSHES ARE YOU GONNA EXPOSE SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** ALL OF THEM

**kogayne:** BINCH

**lanceylance:** just gonna file that away,,,

**kogayne:** gtrhntehnhbegrbn

**lanceylance:** i love learning new things about my nerdy boyfriend :)

**takashmeoutside:** WAIT MATT ISN’T IN THIS CHAT

**kogayne:** SHIRO

 

**_MATT DAY_ **

**takashmeoutside:** WHEN KEITH WAS 12 AND 13 HE HAD A CRUSH ON DIPPER FROM GRAVITY FALLS

**kogayne:** ASSHOLE

**mattata:** the og conspiracy theorist,,, yes, this makes sense

**mattata:** did he envision himself running around gravity falls solving mysteries with him

**kogayne:** you are all

**kogayne:** dead to me

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT DID I DO

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** wdebdfwebfe

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** aLRIGHT BYE HOPPIN OUTTA THE CHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** did we actually piss him off orrrr

**lanceylance:** nah, the baby is just tired

**lanceylance:** didn’t get enough sleep last night

**takashmeoutside:** med side effects

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaaah

**allurable:** yeah, let him get his rest

**lanceylance:** and now, off i go to tend to the baby

**carrierpidgeon:** i hope you know i’m screenshotting these texts

**lanceylance:** i had a feeling alright bye

**mattata:** ...so is he gone

**mattata:** can we gossip

**lanceylance:** I STILL HAVE NOTIFS ON 

**mattata:** that’s okay we can just take it to our gossip chat :P

**allurable:** shhh don’t expose the gossip chat

**shayfromstatefarm:** our secret gossip society? tHEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT

**carrierpidgeon:** frebregrebdgdbf

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i suddenly remembered that that senior picnic thing on friday deprives me of my study hall

**hunkerdunker:** mY /BLOCK/ STUDY HALL

**lotoreal:** would you rather be in study hall or getting food?

**hunkerdunker:** maybe on another day i’ll say food but i’m tired i could’ve napped that period or left early

**carrierpidgeon:** sToP reminding me ur LEAVING ME

**emandem:** but u got me tho ;P

**carrierpidgeon:** fegrtefwgerfwdg

**dinezor:** aw that’s precious i love friendship

**shayfromstatefarm:** WRGTNRHEGBDGFBDGBFGDFB

**dinezor:** ...wait a minute,

**sippinganartini:** ur gaydar sucks

**acxalutelynot:** /honestly/ ez

**dinezor:** WAIT WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

**carrierpidgeon:** ohmygod keith isn’t here to back me up

**madplax:** where’s keith?

**carrierpidgeon:** asleep

**madplax:** ...at school?

**hunkerdunker:** we literally just talked about napping during our blocks keep up

**madplax:** ………..yeah that’s fair

**emandem:** yeah anyway pidge and i happened on may 4th 

**floronawiththecorona:** isn’t that,,

**carrierpidgeon:** whatever ur gonna ask, yes and yes

**floronawiththecorona:** well then

**floronawiththecorona:** putting them in their place

**emandem:** yes

**emandem:** but like

**emandem:** we’re a thing but not a Thing

**emandem:** casual dating

**lotoreal:** you’re also sophomores

**emandem:** that too but that didn’t stop /some people/

**madplax:** she’s shading klance i like her

**carrierpidgeon:** me too

**emandem:** :-D

**lanceylance:** STILL HAVE NOTIFS ON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> explanation: school is testing out the block schedules for next year during senior finals week, it's basically:  
> day 1: periods 1, 3, 5, 7  
> day 2: periods 2, 4, 5, 6  
> (5 is constant bc lunch wave is determined by ur period 5 class) and then the days alternate
> 
> anyhoo see y'all whenever the next one is


	138. the final day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the seniors have their last day of high school, ft. klance, the senior prank, and college shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long boi bc i had computer access for the first two hours of my day and had nothing better to do with my life

**_MATT DAY_ **

**_mattata_ ** _ renamed  _ **_MATT DAY_ ** _ to  _ **_memers_ **

**mattata:** GOOD MORNING MEMERS

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** why are u screaming

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE IT’S MY LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL EVER AND I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

**kogayne:** coincidentally the season finale of buzzfeed unsolved supernatural season 4 is tonight 

**hunkerdunker:** today, everything we know and love changes for good

**lanceylance:** DO U HAVE TO MAKE IT SO DRAMATIC

**carrierpidgeon:** hold up /lance/ just called out /hunk/ for being dramatic

**hunkerdunker:** well i’m in the drama club aren’t i

**kogayne:** pssst

**kogayne:** u /were/ in the drama club

**hunkerdunker:** SHUT UP UNTIL I GET MY DIPLOMA NEXT FRIDAY MORNING I AM STILL AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF ALL OF MY CLUBS

**kogayne:** the show is over ur chapter in the drama club is definitively done with

**hunkerdunker:** nO IT’S NOT SHHHH

**lanceylance:** I’M WITH HUNK 

**lanceylance:** SHUT UR FUCK KEITH

**shayfromstatefarm:** [opens group chat]   
lance: SHUT UR FUCK KEITH   
[contemplates closing group chat]

**lanceylance:** oh wow and a good morning to you too

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes hi good morning i come bearing news for the college squad

**carrierpidgeon:** oho?

**shayfromstatefarm:** the housing portal’s now open aka time to track down a roommate or put in your official roommate requests

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** HI GOOD MORNING YOU READ THE GC RIGHT

**kogayne:** literally logging in right now

**lanceylance:** so like

**lanceylance:** it’s gonna be an official thing

**lanceylance:** u and me

**kogayne:** yes?? we decided this months ago and you told everyone on fb you had a roommate

**lanceylance:** regrnbgwrebgerf i know but like i got bored last night and was reading a bunch of college advice sites

**kogayne:** why

**lanceylance:** bc i was bored

**lanceylance:** and they were like “don’t room with someone u know bc you’ll probably hate them afterward” and wegrwgdwgberf

**kogayne:** okay one i don’t think i could ever hate you and two we already sleep together like 5 or 6 days a week and three we’re gonna be married we’re gonna have to live together sooner or later

**lanceylance:** tell that to my Anxiety™

**kogayne:** dear lance’s anxiety: i love him and he’s gonna be my roommate so shut ur fuck

**lanceylance:** qbterwgberthrrehtrg

**kogayne:** plus if we room together we don’t turn into those annoying people who have their significant other in the room 24/7 and piss off their roommate

**kogayne:** bc you’ll be Right There so i can just sneak into ur bed and cuddle whenever i want

**lanceylance:** stop being cute it’s too early for cute

**kogayne:** i do what i want

**kogayne:** also i’m about to submit my request are u ready

**lanceylance:** yeah i just logged in

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS HAPPENING

**kogayne:** next chapter in our lives begins today this is fucking wild

**lanceylance:** i mean technically it doesn’t begin till next week

**kogayne:** okay then this chapter closes today bc it’s our last day of classes EVER

**lanceylance:** oh my god

**lanceylance:** no more health or study hall with luxia

**kogayne:** no more forensics

**lanceylance:** no more spanish

**kogayne:** no more english with thace or calc with ryner

**lanceylance:** no more physics with hira

**kogayne:** no more astronomy

**lanceylance:** ...our class never did a fucking sENIOR PRANK WHAT LOSERS ARE WE

**kogayne:** SHIT

**kogayne:** THERE’S NO MORE TIME FOR OPERATION WET TROUT

**lanceylance:** SHIT

**lanceylance:** BUT ALSO PRANK ASIDE I’M LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY

**kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU ABOUT TO CRY

**lanceylance:** BC THIS CHAPTER IN OUR LIVES IS CLOSING AND I’M NOT READY FOR IT

**lanceylance:** no more cafeteria cuddles or annoying our teachers or basking in the sunshine in the courtyard and aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** we’ll just have to annoy the teachers at arus, and we can cuddle in the student center and bask in the sunshine on campus

**kogayne:** this chapter’s closing but there are others coming, doesn’t change our status as main characters

**lanceylance:** sToP bEiNg CuTe

**kogayne:** nO

**lanceylance:** U CAN’T DO THIS WHEN I CAN’T SEE UR FACE TILL LUNCH

**kogayne:** DUDE LET ME JUST COME DOWN TO RYNER’S ROOM AGAIN

**lanceylance:** BUT THAT’S STILL SO FAR AWAY

**kogayne:** CALM DOWN

**lanceylance:** NO

**kogayne:** BE MORE CHILL

**lanceylance:** I WILL NOT BOW TO THE SQUIP

**kogayne:** oKaY but anyway

**kogayne:** oh wow u just confirmed the request

**lanceylance:** yep

**kogayne:** ...wow so it’s official now

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** wow holy shit i’m actually tearing up

**lanceylance:** like this is a thing that’s happening

**kogayne:** and we’re doing it together

**lanceylance:** yeah thank god bc i’m like

**lanceylance:** lowkey shaking

**lanceylance:** erdbhdthtyhgyufj this is a frickin ROOMMATE REQUEST IT’S NOT EVEN THAT DEEP

**kogayne:** it’s gonna mean more later on bc we just confirmed that like

**kogayne:** we’re in this thing together, there’s no turning back

**lanceylance:** i mean i could turn back the button to change my decision is right there—

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** :P i’m teasin

**lanceylance:** honestly i’m scared out of my mind for the next couple months and then the next year but i at least know i’ve got u and it makes me feel a lot better

**kogayne:** same

**kogayne:** we’re gonna be okay

**kogayne:** no matter what happens we’ve got each other

**lanceylance:** <333333

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] LANCE I NEED ADVICE

**lanceylance:** so it’s okay when you kick down doors but when i do it in the group chat i’m “disruptive” and “destroying our property value, lance”

**hunkerdunker:** boi

**lanceylance:** tfhytgjghuksdfs what’s up

**hunkerdunker:** roommate i don’t know what i’m gonna do bc SOMEONE broke our deal from freshman year

**lanceylance:** dude are u actually bitter

**hunkerdunker:** lmao no

**lanceylance:** [squints] was that lmao sarcastic

**hunkerdunker:** the internet has ruined “lmao” for me smh

**hunkerdunker:** but ANYWAY I NEED ADVICE

**lanceylance:** ON WHAT

**hunkerdunker:** I ALREADY SAID ROOMMATE

**lanceylance:** ur...ur aware co-ed dorming is a thing right

**hunkerdunker:** yeah and while dorming with shay would be nice rax would skin me alive so that’s a no-go

**lanceylance:** UR LIKE THE SWEETEST GUY IN THE FRICKIN FRIEND GROUP

**hunkerdunker:** yeah but i floated the idea like, over spring break

**hunkerdunker:** in front of her grandmother and rax

**hunkerdunker:** and her grandmother was like “...what” and rax gave me the Murder Look

**lanceylance:** ERFGFRTJHFGJHFDRSF DID HE REALLY

**hunkerdunker:** YES

**hunkerdunker:** SO NOW I NEED A ROOMMATE

**hunkerdunker:** do i go with one of the people who commented on my post on fb? do i wait and see if i click with someone at orientation? do i fill out the roommate compatibility thing on the school site?

**lanceylance:** okay buddy sloooooooow down

**lanceylance:** messaging someone on fb or meeting someone at orientation will probably give you more time to know someone before u get results from the compatibility thing so you’ll probably wanna do that, but then again it’s really up to you and how familiar u wanna be w ur roommate before u room together

**hunkerdunker:** fghghjfdsdfcweascfs you right

**hunkerdunker:** i wanna know them at least a little bit before i subject myself to living with them for a semester

**lanceylance:** yeah, that’s a good idea

**lanceylance:** any idea how shay’s doing?

**hunkerdunker:** i think she connected w some girl on fb

**lanceylance:** is it going well

**hunkerdunker:** i think?

**lanceylance:** frsddghfgbgnfb YOU THINK

**hunkerdunker:** OKAY WE’RE NOT JOINED AT THE HIP LIKE YOU AND KEITH

**lanceylance:** that’s fair

**lanceylance:** u wanna go scream in the physics gc

**hunkerdunker:** meh sure why not, last chance we have

**lanceylance:** ohHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**lanceylance:** HI EVERYONE HOW’S THE ROOMMATE THING GOING

**kogayne:** i dunno i might switch my roommate’s pretty obnoxious :////

**lanceylance:** shut ur fuck kogane

**hunkerdunker:** [cries in doesn’t know how i should go about this]

**shayfromstatefarm:** my search went well!! there’s a girl i found on fb 

**shayfromstatefarm:** haven’t gotten her number yet tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** or any of her socials

**kogayne:** and how long have u been messaging her

**shayfromstatefarm:** a week

**lanceylance:** sHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** MAYBE SHE JUST DOESN’T HAVE ANY AND MAYBE—

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh wow i just got her snap nvm 

**kogayne:** no instagraaaaam? no twitterrrrrrr?

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m getting there one thing at a time i gotta get her cell number so i can delete facebook messenger from my phone

**shayfromstatefarm:** i stg i got the app and random relatives just started trying to talk to me like go away aunt baryte i don’t wanna know about ur cat’s indigestion

**lanceylance:** CAT’S INDIGESTION I’M YELLING

**hunkerdunker:** psssst shay what’s ur roomie’s name

**shayfromstatefarm:** kimberly

**hunkerdunker:** nice

**hunkerdunker:** i don’t know how to go about getting a new roommate but lance said either go thru fb or find someone at orientation

**shayfromstatefarm:** excellent idea: find someone on fb who’s gonna go to our orientation

**hunkerdunker:** SHIT U RIGHT

**hunkerdunker:** THANK U

**shayfromstatefarm:** <333 i gotchu

**lanceylance:** saying “i gotchu” is me and keith’s thing :((( this is biphobia

**shayfromstatefarm:** I’M BI YOU MORON

**hunkerdunker:** lance it’s a pHRASE

**lanceylance:** it’s not a phrase mom it’s who i am

**hunkerdunker:** omfg

**shayfromstatefarm:** shut ur fuck

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**dinezor:** GUYS IT’S OUR LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL EVER :((( DUUUUUUDES

**carrierpidgeon:** [laughs in rising junior]

**emandem:** [laughs louder]

**kogayne:** alrighty then pidge -_-

**carrierpidgeon:** i have two more years in this hellhole let me laugh while i can

**emandem:** she says even tho she’s smart enough she could probably graduate halfway thru next year

**carrierpidgeon:** ergftjhdfkgkdsfvsdj

**madplax:** I HEARD LAST DAY I’M READY TO BLOW THIS TOWN

**acxalutelynot:** calm down we still have a week till graduation

**madplax:** right after graduation i wanna peace out so bad

**hunkerdunker:** o.o where u goin to college

**madplax:** SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY

**floronawiththecorona:** she’s going to new york city she’s not that far

**lanceylance:** why doesn’t that surprise me in the least

**madplax:** oh my god now he can track me down flor

**lanceylance:** boi don’t flatter urself

**lotoreal:** i /wish/ i had the ability to get far away

**lotoreal:** i’ll be attending one of the local universities

**blumpyfumpy:** same

**blumpyfumpy:** UDB?

**lotoreal:** yep

**lotoreal:** commuting saves money that i’m not spending on room and board

**swirnupanddown:** [sobs in soon-to-be-broke student]

**lanceylance:** big mood

**shayfromstatefarm:** society: EVERYONE SHOULD GO TO COLLEGE OR ELSE UR UNEDUCATED AND CAN’T HOLD A JOB   
also society: [makes college literally impossible to attend]

**zethridofmyproblems:** TEA

**sippinganartini:** this tea is scalding

**kogayne:** society: u can’t pay off ur debt? what a tragedy, fucking suffer   
also society: why don’t these kids wanna go to college and take unpaid internships :((   
also society: why aren’t millennials going out to eat and buying diamonds :(((

**acxalutelynot:** but we’re all apparently obsessed with avocado toast -_-

**blumpyfumpy:** whoomp there it is

**kogayne:** why did they think putting the most spiteful generation into eternal debt and shaming them for literally everything was a good idea

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunno but now i’m irritated

**dinezor:** OKAY WE’RE TURNING AWAY FROM THE IRRITATION AND GOING TO HAPPY PLACES LET’S THINK ABOUT THE SENIOR PICNIC AND YEARBOOK DISTRIBUTION LATER

**lanceylance:** BUT WE’RE GONNA LEAVE AFTER THAT AND THEN WE’RE DONE WITH THIS SCHOOL

**dinezor:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE CAN CONSIDER THAT LATER

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**zethridofmyproblems:** wow i can’t believe i’m leaving this all behind by the end of next week

**lanceylance:** deadass

**lanceylance:** this school houses some of my best and worst memories and i did a lot of growing here and idk how i’m gonna be able to let this go

**emandem:** once a terrier always a terrier

**hunkerdunker:** [whispers] once a wildcat always a wildcat

**madplax:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] /WHAT TEAM?!/

**lanceylance:** [BREAKS DOOR INTO PIECES] /WILDCATS!!!!/

**lanceylance:** i’m literally gonna be a wild cat next year

**lanceylance:** ARUS LIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS

**hunkerdunker:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**floronawiththecorona:** omg all of u are going to school together that’s adorable

**dinezor:** god i wish that were me and ax

**kogayne:** what schools are u going to

**acxalutelynot:** i’m going to a tech institute

**dinezor:** art institute :P

**zethridofmyproblems:** i’m going to school like halfway across the US

**sippinganartini:** UDB actually, :P

**blumpyfumpy:** AYYYYYYY

**swirnupanddown:** i’m going up to maine

**floronawiththecorona:** i’m headed down to philly

**carrierpidgeon:** u guys are going places i’m so proud

**carrierpidgeon:** this is what y’all deserve :,)

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**lanceylance:** so twitter just reminded me that it’s national best friends day sO AT SOME POINT TODAY we all need to get a photo together (or like 20) so i can show the world how much i love u guys

**carrierpidgeon:** first y’all talk about leaving then y’all gotta remind me it’s national best friends day stop doing my heart dirty

**lanceylance:** NEVER

**lanceylance:** we can do it at lunch, we’ll skip out on the courtyard today

**carrierpidgeon:** aww you would miss ur last day of courtyard privileges for me 

**lanceylance:** uhh duh?

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge we love u more than we’d ever love the courtyard

**carrierpidgeon:** :,)))

**carrierpidgeon:** I LOVE MY BEST FRIENDS

**hunkerdunker:** <3333

**kogayne:** ehhh ur okay for someone who doesn’t believe in the loch ness monster ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** wefhnyterfsbnfgsbd

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** hi update is anyone here aware of the senior prank or are you all innocent children

**kogayne:** we’re doing a prank?

**lanceylance:** we have a prank?

**lotoreal:** ???

**madplax:** i knew

**lanceylance:** whAT’S OUR PRANK

**floronawiththecorona:** water balloons

**floronawiththecorona:** they’re targeting the big intersection and the courtyard at lunch

**acxalutelynot:** what the fuck kind of senior prank targets other seniors? 

**shayfromstatefarm:** who tf planned this

**madplax:** uhhhh Bricks™

**madplax:** waiting for this to get shut down by the administration

**hunkerdunker:** im not keen on getting wet

**hunkerdunker:** i just want a stress-free last day

**dinezor:** im close to the courtyard when the bell rings i’m gonna do recon

**zethridofmyproblems:** the bell rings in a minute

**dinezor:** RECON

**dinezor:** HERE I GOOOOO

**lotoreal:** i can’t imagine this ending well

**madplax:** DO US GOOD, EZ

**madplax:** GET THE TEA

**kogayne:** we’re on the edge of our seats here

**acxalutelynot:** was that sarcasm directed at my girlfriend

**kogayne:** ...no not really i’m genuinely curious

**acxalutelynot:** mhmmmmmmmmmm

**shayfromstatefarm:** [casually waits for ez to get all the info before sending anything so we’re not spreading false info because we’re Good Investigators]

**carrierpidgeon:** a girl after my own heart

**emandem:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** WERTNREGFNBG

**lanceylance:** screenshotted

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** OH HOW THE TURNTABLES

**dinezor:** SO

**shayfromstatefarm:** SHE’S BACK

**dinezor:** i went to the hallway with like, the line of big windows where u can see everything

**dinezor:** and some morons chose to hide a basket of balloons

**dinezor:** under and behind a tree

**dinezor:** except “under and behind” means where u can’t see them from the LUNCH TABLES

**hunkerdunker:** oh no

**dinezor:** BUT U COULD CLEARLY SEE THESE IDIOTS FROM THE WINDOWS

**dinezor:** SO THEN

**lotoreal:** there’s /more/?

**dinezor:** YEAH

**dinezor:** the administration figured things out so every entrance to the courtyard is blocked off, right

**dinezor:** like sorry if u were planning on eating lunch outside but it’s not happening

**dinezor:** but tHING IS

**dinezor:** THERE WERE LIKE 5 KIDS OUTSIDE

**dinezor:** WHO WERE PLANTING THE WATER BALLOONS

**dinezor:** AND WHEN THEY WENT TO GO BACK INSIDE

**dinezor:** THE SECURITY GUARDS WOULDN’T LET THEM BACK IN

**kogayne:** [little kid voice] oooooooooooooooooh they’re in troublllllllllleeeeeeeeee

**swirnupanddown:** wow they really didn’t think that one through

**shayfromstatefarm:** apparently not

**dinezor:** so yeah we can’t eat in the courtyard, teachers are already warning kids to avoid that one main intersection in the hallway, and also there’s word going around that they’re gonna ban kids from leaving class this period just to be safe

**lanceylance:** but what if i have to pee

**dinezor:** TOUGH SHIT LANCE

**zethridofmyproblems:** u wanna be an astronaut, don’t u

**zethridofmyproblems:** figure out how they do it

**lanceylance:** nO THANKS

**madplax:** file that under “things i didn’t need to read”

**zethridofmyproblems:** IT WAS A GOOD SOLUTION AND YOU KNOW IT

 

**_memers_ **

**lanceylance:** so we’re watching the senior video and keith fucking sent in the video of the day we got together i’m in tears

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** my moms,,, sent in my baby pictures

**hunkerdunker:** literally screaming

**shayfromstatefarm:** he was so cute

**kogayne:** ...the video’s not over yet shiro pls tell me u decided to be nice to me for once

**takashmeoutside:** i promise i didn’t send in any baby photos

**takashmeoutside:** just the photos of u all scraped up as a kid bc u had to go investigate cryptids instead of sitting still

**lanceylance:** aw just like me he couldn’t not get injured for shit

**shayfromstatefarm:** truly a match made in hell

**kogayne:** it just means we’re resilient

**allurable:** if i had known about photo deadlines /i/ would have sent keith’s baby pictures

**mattata:** ^^^

**takashmeoutside:** which is exactly why i kept my mouth shut

**kogayne:** :O shiro? being nice to me for once? what a freaking miracle

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes i care about u idk ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** mmmmmmm same

**allurable:** u guys doing anything special after school to commemorate your last day as a high school senior

**kogayne:** probably gonna go do a late lunch/early dinner

**carrierpidgeon:** u kids have fun i’ll be hanging out with emilyyyy

**kogayne:** OHO?

**carrierpidgeon:** oho

**kogayne:** OHOHO?

**hunkerdunker:** wh

**hunkerdunker:** what’s happening

**kogayne:** so are u guys official yet

**carrierpidgeon:** no but she held my hand between classes today and i almost spontaneously combusted

**mattata:** oh my god this is so soft and it’s PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** she’s corrupting me hELP

**kogayne:** welcome to hell welcome to hell welcome to hell welcome to hell

**lanceylance:** “hell” u love being soft

**lanceylance:** and pidge is gonna love being soft too once she learns how not to be a gremlin

**carrierpidgeon:** shut ur fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** ergbrfhnjfgmghjfghhbdf

**shayfromstatefarm:** what are u doing with emily later O.O

**carrierpidgeon:** gonna go chill out in the park

**carrierpidgeon:** with our switches

**carrierpidgeon:** and destroy each other at various video games

**mattata:** i expected nothing less

**carrierpidgeon:** andthenwe’regoingbacktoherhouseandi’msleepingoverandwe’regonnawatchthebuzzfeedunsolvedseasonfinale

**kogayne:** SOFT

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** that’s fair, keith is coming over tonight

**kogayne:** oh yeah shiro i’m going to lance’s

**shayfromstatefarm:** i don’t have any older siblings to tell but i’m hanging out with hunk tonight

**mattata:** this isn’t fair everyone is having date night

**mattata:** kashi lura let’s have date night

**takashmeoutside:** i’m down

**allurable:** bet

**hunkerdunker:** wow just copy the high schoolers

**takashmeoutside:** everyone knows by now that klance is just off-brand shatt

**kogayne:** TAKE IT BACK

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME I’M RIGHT

**mattata:** why would u say something so controversial,,, yet so brave :’O

**kogayne:** MATT

**lanceylance:** klance is its own beautiful monstrosity let us live

**kogayne:** YEAH

**mattata:** hmmm whatever u say

**kogayne:** HEATHEN

 

**_memers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay so our senior prank was water balloons and it was supposed to get shut down by the administration but we’re outside having the picnic and some kids just busted out a giant container of water balloons and opened fire

**shayfromstatefarm:** and keith and lance are

_ (1) video from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** way into it

**mattata:** did we expect anything less of them though

**shayfromstatefarm:** THEY’RE SOAKED

**takashmeoutside:** ehhh it’s hot out they’ll dry

**takashmeoutside:** just have them sit in the car without AC for a few minutes

**allurable:** shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**allurable:** why isn’t hunk he responding

**shayfromstatefarm:** he caved after keith and lance ganged up on him

**allurable:** alright imma tell u this once: it’s ur last day, go fuckin wild

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...SHIT U RIGHT BYE

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** lmao so we’re going out to eat and then i’m going back to lance’s for the night, so i’ll be seeing u probably sometime in the afternoon tomorrow

**takashmeoutside:** alrighty then

**takashmeoutside:** how are ur meds working so far

**kogayne:** headaches are finally going away, sleep pattern is starting to improve?? and no nausea today

**takashmeoutside:** ur anxiety in check?

**kogayne:** anxiety’s in check

**kogayne:** once these things start actually working in a few weeks it should be smooth sailing, granted there are no other side effects

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** keep keeping an eye on it

**kogayne:** will do

**takashmeoutside:** see u tomorrow

**kogayne:** see u tomorrow gn love u

**takashmeoutside:** love u too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i expected more tears today but instead i just got my little scarf thingy for national honor society for graduation and my ap calculus tshirt that says "don't drink and derive" (the name of the ap calc group chat) honestly today was great, i didn't even get hit with a water balloon
> 
> see y'all in the next one


	139. there's a lot of yelling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the seniors have graduation rehearsal (ft. broganes); reviews drop for the upcoming season of the squad's fave tv show (and the author is mOST CERTAINLY NOT PROJECTING); more emitie and more of the brave knight chronicles discussion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have y'all seen the s6 reviews,,, I'M NOT READY (no spoilers beyond vvvv vague generic stuff)

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** good morning starboy

**lanceylance:** goooooood morning i have no desire to get out of bed

**kogayne:** what a tragedy wake up 

**lanceylance:** im aWAKE i just don’t wanna leave my bed

**kogayne:** would u feel better if i was the one driving today

**lanceylance:** yeeees :3

**kogayne:** u pulled out the furry emoticon at 7 AM i can’t with you

**lanceylance:** I AM A GIFT TO THIS WORLD AND YOU KNOW IT

**kogayne:** mmmm my favorite gift

**kogayne:** best gift 

**kogayne:** no gift can top it

**lanceylance:** stop being cute that’s not fair

**kogayne:** is too fair

**lanceylance:** nooooooooooo i cant handle a cute boy this early

**kogayne:** TRAGIC

**lanceylance:** 3:

**kogayne:** xkdkdjdnwjenejd NOOOOOOOOOO

**lanceylance:** :33333

**kogayne:** boi i will cancel this ride and u can get ur own butt to grad rehearsal without dunkin 

**lanceylance:** i mean i could go by myself,,,

**kogayne:** would u really sacrifice a ride with ur boyfriend?? would u reaaaaaally??

**lanceylance:** ...no

**lanceylance:** anyway when are u coming

**kogayne:** 7:45 work?

**lanceylance:** yeah i’ll be ready by then

**kogayne:** awesome

**kogayne:** im gonna go get ready, i’ll see u soon <3

**lanceylance:** <33333

 

**_memers_ **

**lanceylance:** SO WE FIGURED OUT THE SEATING FOR GRADUATION

**lanceylance:** AND I’M SO LIT

**takashmeoutside:** oh god

**kogayne:** hunk and i sit together bc val and sal :P

**lanceylance:** THEIR ROW ONLY HAS TWO CHAIRS

**lanceylance:** AND SHAY AND I SIT IN THE ROW BEHIND THEM 

**lanceylance:** I’M ALMOST DIRECTLY BEHIND KEITH, PERFECT SMOOCHING DISTANCE

**carrierpidgeon:** how did i know it would come down to klance

**shayfromstatefarm:** i would like to point out that i am perfect smooching distance from hunk :)

**allurable:** you guys are cute but we’re still shaming klance

**hunkerdunker:** :D

**lanceylance:** D:

**kogayne:** i’m sorry that lance is just so in love w me bc i’m just that great, can’t help it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** who are u and what have u done with the real keith, that was too sassy even for u

**kogayne:** getting more and more excited about graduation but mostly excited that we get out before the underclassmen get out and they have a half day and we already came in late

**lanceylance:** only gonna be here for 3 hours wOOP WOOP

**shayfromstatefarm:** and i mean we’ve already wasted an hour greqewgwfe

**lanceylance:** TWO HOURS TILL WE GET TO GO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME

**kogayne:** time to waste them listening to graduation procedure and “important info” and then,,, the reading of EVERYONE’S NAMES

**hunkerdunker:** be glad there are only 263 kids graduating

**mattata:** how many are in ur grade tho

**hunkerdunker:** 272

**mattata:** rip 

**hunkerdunker:** okay but can u imagine the big high schools??

**mattata:** oh just wait till u guys graduate from arus

**kogayne:** and now i’m having war flashbacks to shiro’s graduation we were there for HOURS

**kogayne:** H O U R S

**carrierpidgeon:** STOP DON’T REMIND ME QRWGEWEFRFWGRFE

**kogayne:** HOURS!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** WELLLL according to kolivan our graduation is supposed to be like 90 minutes max

**hunkerdunker:** sounds fake but okay

**kogayne:** we have like 4 different speeches to sit through on top of the roll call and u know it’s gonna take longer the night of than it does during rehearsal

**carrierpidgeon:** u mean to tell me i have to sit through HOURS

**carrierpidgeon:** AGAIN

**hunkerdunker:** it’ll probably be like 2 max 

**carrierpidgeon:** and then the new season of our show drops like 7 hours later

**lanceylance:** TIME TO PULL AN ALL-NIGHTERRRRRR

**kogayne:** thursday-friday all-nighter squad wya

**hunkerdunker:** yo

**mattata:** TIME TO DIE

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re all gonna dieeee

**allurable:** WHY IS DEATH YOUR IMMEDIATE REACTION

**carrierpidgeon:** show’s staff has been oddly cryptic or has straight-up said “this season will destroy you”

**lanceylance:** i’m an emotional baby how am i gonna survive

**carrierpidgeon:** ur not

**mattata:** ur not

**hunkerdunker:** hate to be That demon but don’t press reviews for the new season come out today

**kogayne:** ...oh my god

**lanceylance:** SHIT

**mattata:** HUNK WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BRING IT UP

**hunkerdunker:** whoops

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t worry guys all my exams are over i’ll monitor the internet and warn u guys

**lanceylance:** cool bc we gotta go we’re doing Things

**allurable:** oooh things what things

**kogayne:** starting to do roll call rehearsal we’ll be back after our rows are done bye

 

**_memers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** are they back yet

**mattata:** ...judging by the lack of response, no

**carrierpidgeon:** lmao cool well the new reviews have started dropping and i’m SHRIEKING

**mattata:** WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** WE’RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEE

**takashmeoutside:** do any of them contain anything remotely spoilery

**carrierpidgeon:** ...why…

**takashmeoutside:** gonna troll keith

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s pure evil but yes this one does

_ (1) link from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** not spoilers-spoilers but heavy hints/plot points

**takashmeoutside:** excellent

**kogayne:** SHIRO YOU ASS

**takashmeoutside:** FUCK

**kogayne:** PIDGE I NEED EVERY ARTICLE RIGHT NOW

**kogayne:** N O W

**lanceylance:** PDIGE

**carrierpidgeon:** THERE’S ONE HERE’S THE OTHER

_ (1) link from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** I DON’T KNOW WHETHER TO BE EXCITED OR AFRAID

**carrierpidgeon:** UHHH YEAH? YES THE ANSWER IS YES

**hunkerdunker:** YES TO WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** YES

**hunkerdunker:** PIDGE

**mattata:** “you’re gonna need tissues” ummm NO THANKS

**lanceylance:** oh god i gotta buy more i only have 2 boxes left in my house

**kogayne:** ur not seriously gonna go thru 2 boxes are u

**lanceylance:** ummm ur coming over and i have the emotional strength of a toddler who’s just experienced pain for the first time, i’m gonna lose my shit

**carrierpidgeon:** better idea

**carrierpidgeon:** we have a post-graduation sleepover as the core squad and then the five of us watch the new season while shay shiro and allura gossip about us

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...actually hunk is having me binge the show so far so i’m caught up by friday, i’m starting this afternoon

**hunkerdunker:** YOU’RE WELCOME EVERYONE IT ONLY TOOK SEVERAL MONTHS OF CONVINCING

**carrierpidgeon:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** shay no run while you still have the chance

**kogayne:** SAVE YOURSELF

**shayfromstatefarm:** uhh no as soon as we get home i start The Binge

**hunkerdunker:** im watching with her we made it a date :3

**carrierpidgeon:** ohmygodishouldgetemilyonboard—

**allurable:** so this means during our sleepover matt can watch the Children watch their show and me and shiro can just do a gossip session

**takashmeoutside:** we paint each others’ nails or i riot

**allurable:** LET’S DO IT

**mattata:** HNNN FAMILY OBLIGATIONS, BF AND GF...FAMILY OBLIGATIONS, BF AND GF…

**mattata:** SO HOW MUCH POPCORN ARE U KIDS GONNA WANT

**carrierpidgeon:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BIG BRO COME THRUUUUUUUUU

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** so they’re starting to hand out honor cords and stuff

**kogayne:** and

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i get to wear this

**kogayne:** big-ass medal thing

**kogayne:** for being val

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH THIS IS AWESOME

**kogayne:** hunk’s got a slightly smaller one for sal but uhh??? i might

**kogayne:** have teared up

**takashmeoutside:** oh jeez

**kogayne:** and i might

**kogayne:** be lowkey crying

**takashmeoutside:** u know it’s okay to cry right

**takashmeoutside:** u went through a lot to get where u are and u deserve it

**kogayne:** yeah i know but the problem is

**kogayne:** /i’m in the front row/

**kogayne:** and kOLIVAN NOTICED

**takashmeoutside:** ewdrtbegwfrfgberfdgbfdb

**kogayne:** HE JUST RAISED HIS EYEBROWS AT ME LIKE “U GOOD DUDE”

**kogayne:** GOTTA DIE NOW

**takashmeoutside:** okay nO no dying here

**kogayne:** in all actuality tho like

**kogayne:** oh my god??? like this is happening

**takashmeoutside:** you’ve come so far

**takashmeoutside:** and i am so, so proud of you

**takashmeoutside:** but i’m gonna save most of my gushing for graduation so i can make u cry on the turf in front of ur entire class

**kogayne:** a s s h o l e

**takashmeoutside:** wouldn’t be ur older brother if i didn’t

**kogayne:** webrtrefwbd i thought older brothers were supposed to be nice and chase off ur bullies and threaten ur dates

**takashmeoutside:** i’m capable of multitasking :P

**kogayne:** of course u are

**kogayne:** mr “lemme just adopt keith and juggle getting three degrees on top of working and battling my declining mental health”

**kogayne:** like what the fuck

**kogayne:** u know u could’ve saved urself a lot of trouble

**takashmeoutside:** nope shut ur fuck we’ve been over this

**kogayne:** s h i r o

**takashmeoutside:** we got thru it, didn’t we? and now you’re graduating high school as class valedictorian and getting into your top choice university, and at the moment our financial situation is stable

**kogayne:** “at the moment” till tuition bills start rolling in

**kogayne:** have u even paid off /ur/ student loan debt

**takashmeoutside:** okay truthfully no

**takashmeoutside:** but don’t worry in ten years all of the millennials and gen z will be up to their eyeballs in debt so it won’t matter and we’ll probably be destroying more industries

**kogayne:** even the avocado toast industry

**takashmeoutside:** keep ur heathen hands off of my avocados

**kogayne:** U DON’T EVEN LIKE AVOCADOS

**takashmeoutside:** umm you don’t know that

**kogayne:** BITCH HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I CALLED YOU FROM THE GROCERY STORE

**kogayne:** “hey shiro do u want avocados? they’re on sale” “keith i fucking hate avocados” “well then i’m just tRYNA BE NICE” [cue the disturbed looks from the shoppers around me as i become bitter in the middle of the produce section]

**takashmeoutside:** shhh it was all a dream

**kogayne:** BINCH

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**dinezor:** i’m boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored

**acxalutelynot:** we’re only halfway thru roll call can u nOT

**dinezor:** I’M BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED

**lanceylance:** mood

**hunkerdunker:** actively falling asleep in my seat

**lotoreal:** and how late were you up last night

**hunkerdunker:** late enough to know it was a mistake

**lotoreal:** a mistake you’re going to make again and again, right

**hunkerdunker:** summer’s coming and it means my sleep schedule can be shot and i can not care

**lotoreal:** why would you do that to yourself 

**hunkerdunker:** summer means the freedom to fuck up my sleeping patterns however i damn well please

**lotoreal:** alright, lance

**hunkerdunker:** :O

**lanceylance:** why u gotta call me out like this ;-;

**kogayne:** /is someone attacking my prince/

**lanceylance:** :O

**lanceylance:** NEW IDEA TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME

**lotoreal:** oh dear

**lanceylance:** we’re bored let’s whip up a new installment in the brave knight chronicles bc i love keith

**madplax:** is there a canon we already have established that we gotta follow orrrr

**lanceylance:** just that prince lanceylance is madly in love with the brave knight kogane and nothing will ever come between our love

**madplax:** naturally

**kogayne:** don’t try shit, mad queen plax, we’re onto your every scheme as we struggle to take back my prince’s rightful throne

**madplax:** okay you freakin liars there IS more to the established canon

**madplax:** I USURPED UR THRONE

**dinezor:** my kingdom is allied with plax shhh

**lanceylance:** BETRAYAL

**lotoreal:** my kingdom has no allies :)

**lanceylance:** mmmm we’re watchin u now too

**shayfromstatefarm:** i choose to ally my kingdom w lance’s

**lanceylance:** THANKS SHAY I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LIKE YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m gonna go seek an alliance with the hermit sorceress narti

**sippinganartini:** sorry alliance machine Broke

**emandem:** WAIT WHAT’S HAPPENING I JUST OPENED THE GROUP CHAT AND I’M REALLY CONFUSED

**carrierpidgeon:** HOLY SHIT I NEVER EXPLAINED THIS

**kogayne:** i mean the quick version is we’re all too lazy to play a legit game of dnd so we roast each other w our vaguely fantasy-inspired characters

**kogayne:** which mostly just started bc i called lance my prince one day and he wrote a dead backstory for it

**lanceylance:** DEFINE DEAD

**kogayne:** ur still a prince but we established the king is dead so u should be a king

**madplax:** hmmmm Inch Resting

**kogayne:** don’t hurt my prince don’t u Dare

**madplax:** HMMMM INCH RESTING

**emandem:** owo AND WHAT’S EVERYONE GOT GOING ON

**carrierpidgeon:** did she just

**emandem:** ...WAIT

**lanceylance:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**kogayne:** holy shit

**emandem:** WAIT NO I PICKED IT UP FROM TWITTER IT WAS IRONIC—

**lanceylance:** [BANGS FISTS ON TABLE] ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

**blumpyfumpy:** O.O i dunno what this “us” is but i’m not part of that

**kogayne:** eewfgerfwerg

 

**_kogayne > carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** emily highview is lance mcclain reincarnated into a 16-year-old girl: a conspiracy theory thread— 

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT YOUR FUCK I’M STILL SHRIEKING

**kogayne:** “what if she’s like lance” WELP THE DAY HAS COME

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH YOU

**kogayne:** DON’T LOOK AT ME MATT AND SHIRO WERE THE ONES WHO MADE US BECOME FRIENDS

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**lanceylance:** there’s me, prince lanceylance, and keith is the brave knight kogane

**lanceylance:** lotor is a shapeshifter prince

**lanceylance:** shay, acxa, and ezor are just princesses bc they haven’t specified any other attributes, except that acxa and ezor are in love and know how to fight

**emandem:** mhmmmm

**lanceylance:** plax is the mad queen who took my throne apparently

**madplax:** >:D

**lanceylance:** hunk is a common baker and he and shay are in love

**hunkerdunker:** and for this game the common baker hunk has his own arc: torn between helping his princess and her allied kingdom, or laying low and taking care of the family in case things get Bad

**lanceylance:** and narti is another sorceress, she’s a hermit

**lanceylance:** in our other group chat pidge’s brother matt is the Imperious Lord Memer but we don’t need him

**blumpyfumpy:** “imperious lord memer” i can’t believe i read that with my own two eyes

**lanceylance:** ikr

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY EM YOU WANT IN

**emandem:** I WANNA BE AN ASSASSIN

**emandem:** ROGUE ASSASSIN W A BOW AND ARROW N SHIT

**lanceylance:** >:D ALRIGHT

**lanceylance:** u wanna reveal ur loyalties now or let it play out

**emandem:** i’m always one for a good mystery  >:)

**zethridofmyproblems:** wellllll y’all are gonna have to wrap this tomorrow, we’ve got two people left for roll and then we leave

**emandem:** OH CRAP FINALS ARE ALMOST OUT FOR THE DAY

**lanceylance:** not a problem!

**lanceylance:** alrighty then!! everyone who’s involved or who wants to get involved, think about ur characters

**lanceylance:** OUR PLOT AND OUR STANDINGS:

**lanceylance:** prince lanceylance and the knight kogane are allied with princess shay and the common conflicted baker hunk, against the forces of mad queen plax (who’s taken lancey’s throne), princesses ezor and acxa, shapeshifter prince lotor has no alliance, and pidge and narti are two sorceresses w no clear alliances yet, and also emily is an assassin w no clear alliances

**lanceylance:** WE PICK THIS UP TOMORROW

**lotoreal:** oh dear

**dinezor:** BETBETBETBETBET

**madplax:** i have ur throne, i’m comin for ur knight’s head next  >:)

**kogayne:** OH IT’S ON

**madplax:** IT’S ONNN IT’S ONNNN IT’S OOOONNNNNNNN

**hunkerdunker:** okay wait this is nOT CAMP ROCK—

**madplax:** LET ME LIVE

**lanceylance:** …

**lanceylance:** GET CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY TAKE IT OVER THE TOP

**madplax:** YES

**hunkerdunker:** BETRAYAL

 

**_memers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** alright i’m home now and w hunk no one talk to me until tomorrow, time to binge the shit out of this show

**takashmeoutside:** u realize, w the episode count, you’ll be up all night?

**shayfromstatefarm:** two all-nighters this week? i’ve pulled worse for school

**allurable:** ??? WHEN?? NOT THIS YEAR

**shayfromstatefarm:** apush last year was a disaster sometimes

**lanceylance:** “sometimes” i’m still crying over reconstruction

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay one mood

**shayfromstatefarm:** two

**shayfromstatefarm:** TIME TO BINGE BYE

**carrierpidgeon:** bye!! have fun sCREAMING

**shayfromstatefarm:** will do!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> see y'all whenever the next one goes up


	140. GRADUATION.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> consummatum est.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**lanceylance:** it’s midnight

**lanceylance:** guys...we graduate /today/

**madplax:** I DIDN’T NEED THIS REMINDER SHUT UP

**lanceylance:** [cups hands around mouth] WE GRADUATE TODAYYYYYYY

**hunkerdunker:** i’m not ready oh my god

**hunkerdunker:** i thought i was ready but i’m nowhere near ready

**hunkerdunker:** ur telling me i have to give a sPEECH in front of PEOPLE

**floronawiththecorona:** yeah but it’ll be a good speech!!

**floronawiththecorona:** it’s a hunk speech!!

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** ur gonna do amazing sweetie :)

**hunkerdunker:** /AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/

**carrierpidgeon:** ^ that’s how i feel about u fuckers graduating and LEAVIGN ME

**carrierpidgeon:** THE CLASS OF 2019 IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE AND MY CLASS IS /WORSE/

**emandem:** GET ON TOP OF THE LOCKERS

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS SCHOOL IS A /FUCKING NIGHTMAAAAAAAAARE/

**acxalutelynot:** mmm, you’re both bright, i’m sure you’ll figure out a way to survive

**kogayne:** you’re carrying on our legacy, you’ll be fine

**lotoreal:** just don’t mention you’re best friends with klance and you’ll be fine

**lanceylance:** rUDE

**kogayne:** our teachers loved us

**dinezor:** mmmmmmmmmmmm

**madplax:** “loved” is a funny way of putting it

**kogayne:** I WAS THACE’S FAVORITE

**acxalutelynot:** ...he’s actually right about that it was pretty obvious

**lanceylance:** that only happened bc shiro was thace’s favorite back in the day

**kogayne:** “back in the day” it was within this decade, lance

**lanceylance:** when did they graduate

**kogayne:** ?? class of ‘10?

**lanceylance:** last decade we’re in a new decade now

**kogayne:** ohhhhhhhh my gOOOOOOOD

**blumpyfumpy:** lance has a point

**madplax:** unfortunately

**lanceylance:** blum, thank u

**lanceylance:** plax, squar up

**madplax:** u, me, in the parking lot right after graduation

**lanceylance:** CAN’T GOIN OUT TO EAT AFTERWARD

**emandem:** ...THIS close to saying something but i’ll keep my mouth shut

**lanceylance:** ...what were u gonna say

**emandem:** nope not getting my stamp of approval revoked

**lanceylance:** HOW DID U KNOW ABOUT THAT

**carrierpidgeon:** uhh of course i told her my friends approved?

**madplax:** cute but i wanna know what she was gonna say

**emandem:** no no not necessary

**dinezor:** SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT

**zethridofmyproblems:** SAY IT

**emandem:** mmm nahhhh

**carrierpidgeon:** if i put my thinkin cap on i think i know what she was gonna say

**emandem:** PIDGE

 

**_carrierpidgeon > emandem_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s so dirty but like lance would approve

**emandem:** I’M STILL NOT GONNA SAY IT WEFBGERFBFWE

**carrierpidgeon:** keith would get super flustered tho but then lance would jump on it and the rest of the chat would shame them so like,,, maybe say it

**emandem:** i can’t believe ur encouraging this smh

**carrierpidgeon:** this is what happens when matt holt is ur older brother sorry i don’t make the rules

**emandem:** [SHAKES HEAD HARDER]

**carrierpidgeon:** em noooooo that’s how u get whiplash and hurt ur neeeeeeck

**emandem:** mmm neck

**carrierpidgeon:** i can’t believe

**emandem:** BELIEVE

**carrierpidgeon:** this is too much of a coincidence what higher being did i piss off in a past life—

**emandem:** shut up ur enjoying every second of this

**carrierpidgeon:** MAYBE SO

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway SAY IT

**emandem:** nah it’s midnight we gotta go to school maybe i should just SLEEP—

**carrierpidgeon:** but emilyyyyyyyyyyyy

**emandem:** but katieeeeeeeee

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT EMILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

**emandem:** BUT KATIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**carrierpidgeon:** what if we just

**carrierpidgeon:** stopped responding in that chat

**emandem:** u mean like we already did

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**emandem:** bet bc i’m actually tired and we have our LAST EXAM TOMORROWWW

**carrierpidgeon:** last exam and then we gotta sit thru that graduation ceremony

**carrierpidgeon:** is it bad i keep forgetting ur sister is a senior too

**emandem:** nah that’s fair but oMG U KNOW WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT

**emandem:** we gotta sit strategically so our families are RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER

**carrierpidgeon:** smh that means i gotta corral like 20 million mcclains and the rest of the squad fams but i’ll do my best

**emandem:** u better

**emandem:** so we can do things during the ceremony

**carrierpidgeon:** like what

**emandem:** like

**emandem:** [drops voice to a whisper]

**emandem:** hold hands

**carrierpidgeon:** WFRTNEGW4RGETBTERG THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR MY POOR VIRGIN HEART U HOOCHIEMAMA

**emandem:** HOOCHIEMAMA PIDGE TF

**carrierpidgeon:** MY GRANDMA SAID IT ONCE I DUNNO

**emandem:** I CAN’T WITH THIS

**carrierpidgeon:** DEAL WITH IT (⌐■_■) 

**emandem:** i’m gonna steal those sunglasses

**carrierpidgeon:** pls no they’re prescription—

**emandem:** u fool

**emandem:** i know ur glasses are fake

**carrierpidgeon:** it only took u all year to notice

**emandem:** no i noticed

**emandem:** just,,, waiting for the right time to say something

**emandem:** still gonna say something in person

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm why do i feel like there’s more to that

**emandem:** ;)

**carrierpidgeon:** EMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**emandem:** NIGHT PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** BINCH

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**madplax:** so is she gonna say it or what

**lotoreal:** methinks it was probably dirty

**dinezor:** sO WHAT

**floronawiththecorona:** shhh she’s 16 and she’s already corrupted we should be mourning

**kogayne:** emily pidge come back here

**kogayne:** I KNOW UR LURKING

**lanceylance:** matt go check on ur

**lanceylance:** WOW WRONG GROUP CHAT

**kogayne:** tis a lonely existence without shalluratt

**lotoreal:** ...shalluratt

**kogayne:** yes

**madplax:** WAIT ARE MATT SHIRO AND ALLURA ALL TOGETHER I THOUGHT THAT WAS A MYTH

**hunkerdunker:** well you were mythtaken

**blumpyfumpy:** matt shiro and allura...u mean to tell me drama crew legends matthew holt and takashi shirogane are in a relationship with allura altea

**kogayne:** YEP

**blumpyfumpy:** SINCE WHEN

**kogayne:** ??? uhhh october??? i think

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah bc then they did the batman v superman costumes for halloween

**kogayne:** mm u right

**kogayne:** do i text matt to see if pidge was lurking or do we leave it alone

**lotoreal:** you know, it /is/ after midnight, they’re probably sleeping

**swirnupanddown:** just like we should be so we don’t look like shit at graduation tomorrow?

**kogayne:** excuse you,

**swirnupanddown:** what

**kogayne:** lance never looks like shit he is beautiful all the time

**swirnupanddown:** why did we let you two into this chat again

**madplax:** bc pidge made it

**kogayne:** and i’m pidge’s honorary older brother

**lanceylance:** as am i

**lanceylance:** even tho keith is her main hoe

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**shayfromstatefarm:** bc their brothers forced them to be friends when they were kids and somewhere along the way the feelings became real

**madplax:** that sounds like the plot for a fake dating fanfic

**kogayne:** except i’m gay, she’s a gayce, and we’re basically siblings, so uhhh Nope

**lanceylance:** also he’s miiiiiiiiiiine :)

**kogayne:** wfergtbhegrrnrteg

**lanceylance:** i love u  <333

**madplax:** ...so anyway good night everyone i’ll see u tonight for graduation

**lanceylance:** r u d e

**madplax:** :P

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** keith i can’t sleep

**kogayne:** u okay?

**lanceylance:** yeah i’m just

**lanceylance:** mmm lonely

**lanceylance:** lookin at the stars

**kogayne:** ...are you in the treehouse?

**lanceylance:** maybe

**lanceylance:** can u come over?

**lanceylance:** i’m kinda cold all by myself

**lanceylance:** and,,, it’s our last night before the future starts

**lanceylance:** oh godn i;mcrying

**kogayne:** hey hey shh it’s okay

**kogayne:** yeah i’ll come over

**kogayne:** anything i need to bring?

**lanceylance:** i kinda wanna sleep out here, it’s gonna get chilly

**lanceylance:** i’ll give u one of my sweatshirts if u give me yours

**kogayne:** deal

**kogayne:** i’ll bring some blankets and pillows too

**kogayne:** snacks?

**lanceylance:** whatever u want

**kogayne:** alright, i’ll surprise u

**kogayne:** hang tight, i’ll be there soon

**kogayne:** i love you

**lanceylance:** i love you too

**lanceylance:** so much

**lanceylance:** and i’m gonna text till u get here bc it’s making me feel better

**kogayne:** I THOUGHT U SAID U WERE OKAY

**lanceylance:** SO I LIED A LITTLE

**lanceylance:** i talk all the time about being ready for it but now that it’s happening i’m scared

**lanceylance:** i’m actually scared

**kogayne:** keep talking, i’m leaving now i promise i won’t ignore your texts

**lanceylance:** okay

**lanceylance:** i’m just super fuckigng neverous like

**lanceylance:** ww’re about to graudate high sdohll

**lanceylance:** and lleace it behind

**lanceylance:** and

**lanceylance:** hhhhh

**lanceylance:** ha woahaw guess the anxieryy akttjac gcame  outt of nowherre 

**lanceylance:** asdfbgnfdbsgbdsfd

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**dinezor:** good morning everyone

**dinezor:** pidge em what the fuck was em gonna say last night

**emandem:** what

**dinezor:** wHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT

**emandem:** i don’t remember i was overtired

**emandem:** overtired emily and regularly-functioning emily are two very different people

**lanceylance:** mmm sure

**emandem:** oh and what do you know

**lanceylance:** Enough™

**lanceylance:** pidge and i talk

**kogayne:** but you’ll never have as many deets as me ;P

**acxalutelynot:** did keith just

**zethridofmyproblems:** “deets”

**lotoreal:** /and/ a winky face

**madplax:** who even are u 

**kogayne:** what i’m not allowed to have fun

**carrierpidgeon:** keith ily but also sHUT UR FUCK

**emandem:** pidge,,, what have u told him

**carrierpidgeon:** shh don’t worry about it

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s more reliable than matt

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** i’m the favorite sibling

**hunkerdunker:** you’re not even

**hunkerdunker:** you know what nvm

**kogayne:** I’M THE FAVORITE SIBLING

**carrierpidgeon:** but also i didn’t tell him

**kogayne:** YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WAS GONNA SAY

**carrierpidgeon:** no but i pieced it together myself

**emandem:** i mean, it’s not hard

**emandem:** not anymore probably

**lanceylance:** ...YO WHAT THE FUCK

**madplax:** bye

**floronawiththecorona:** DELETING

**hunkerdunker:** unfriended blocked reported

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m suing for emotional distress

**emandem:** ;D

**emandem:** ANYWAY GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE GRADUATES TODAY I’LL BE DOWN ON THE FIELD NUMBER ONE NUMBER TWO WHY ISN’T MY SISTER IN THIS CHAT

**hunkerdunker:** ...wow i just realized how awkward that is

**hunkerdunker:** uhhh

**hunkerdunker:** sarah if u ever see this...sorry?

**emandem:** i mean,, we could add her

**emandem:** can i add her

**dinezor:** i don’t see why not

**swirnupanddown:** DO THE THING

**_emandem_ ** _ added  _ **_sarahahaha_ ** _ to  _ **_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**emandem:** welcome to my gay sister everyone

**dinezor:** HOW MANY GAY KIDS ARE IN OUR FUCKIN SCHOOL

**kogayne:** never enough

**sarahahaha:** i’m actually bi but okay

**lanceylance:** BI SQUAD BETBETBETBETBETBET

**sarahahaha:** so now

**sarahahaha:** wHY WASN’T I IN THIS GROUP CHAT SOONER

**lanceylance:** I DUNNO PIDGE MADE IT

**carrierpidgeon:** WOW JUST THROW ME UNDER THE BUS LANCE

**carrierpidgeon:** ANYWAY EM NEVER GAVE ME YOUR NUMBER OR MENTIONED THAT YOU WANTED TO BE IN THIS GIANT GROUP CHAT

**emandem:** TRAITOR

**carrierpidgeon:** YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO EM

**lanceylance:** heh

**lanceylance:** to em

**sarahahaha:** oh god...what have i walked into

**emandem:** oh nowwwww you complain

**sarahahaha:** yknow, i /was/ convinced i’d never have to put up with lance again after physics

**lanceylance:** WOW

**lanceylance:** THAT WORDING

**lanceylance:** “PUT UP WITH”

**lanceylance:** HURT, TRULY

**kogayne:** :O sTOP SLANDERING MY BOYFRIEND

**sarahahaha:** oh god klance is here

**kogayne:** klance is /always/ here

**kogayne:** I Love Him

**dinezor:** we know

**lotoreal:** unfortunately

**madplax:** YOU KEEP REMINDING US

**lanceylance:** i will Always remind everyone of my love for keith

**sarahahaha:** this was a mistake i’m muting this chat till after graduation later loozers

**lanceylance:** >:O

**dinezor:** imma join her see u all in hell at 5 PM

**acxalutelynot:** umm no ur joining Me i’m coming over

**lanceylance:** :O RANDOMLY VISITING MY S/O IN THE MORNING IS ME AND KEITH’S THING WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** i mean we already beat them

**dinezor:** ARE YOU TWO BEING MUSHY FROM THE SAME ROOM AGAIN

**sarahahaha:** that rumor’s true? that’s a thing?

**kogayne:** HELL YES IT IS

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** WAKEUP CUDDLES ARE BEST CUDDLES BC LANCE’S HAIR CURLS AT NIGHT

**kogayne:** ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S HUMID AS HELL AND WE’RE IN A TREEHOUSE

**acxalutelynot:** do we even wanna know why you two were sleeping in a treehouse

**lotoreal:** nope

**madplax:** i’ll pass

**blumpyfumpy:** it’s a no from me

**kogayne:** even u too blum wow

**blumpyfumpy:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**blumpyfumpy:** byeeeeeeee see you all at graduation!!

 

**_memers_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** do we have a game plan for graduation and post-graduation

**kogayne:** we’re going out to eat, right

**hunkerdunker:** we haven’t been to the diner in so long i wanna go to the diner

**takashmeoutside:** u guys don’t wanna go somewhere like,,, nicer for graduation?

**kogayne:** WE LOVE THE DINER, SHIRO

**mattata:** welp that settles that all in favor of diner

**lanceylance:** i

**hunkerdunker:** i!!!

**kogayne:** i

**shayfromstatefarm:** i

**carrierpidgeon:** not my call but i!

**allurable:** shiro don’t act like we didn’t go to the diner twice after graduation

**kogayne:** tWICE

**takashmeoutside:** ...lmao yep

**takashmeoutside:** we went out somewhere nice with our parents and then a giant group of us hopped over to the diner at like, 2 AM

**takashmeoutside:** and then we went back for breakfast

**lanceylance:** so Teens i know what we’re doing tomorrow

**kogayne:** mmm breakfast date Good Shit

**carrierpidgeon:** lmao count me oUT

**hunkerdunker:** so is this a breakfast thing /after/ we all binge watch that new season right

**lanceylance:** ...OHMYGOD THAT DROPS TONIGHT

**kogayne:** FUCK

**mattata:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] FUCK!!!!

**kogayne:** I FORGOT I’LL BE UP ALL NIGHT

**shayfromstatefarm:** alright so we all break into the café and stock up on caffeine,

**carrierpidgeon:** !!!! UR ALL CAUGHT UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** YEP

**hunkerdunker:** YOU’RE WELCOME

**kogayne:** SO WHO’S HOUSE ARE WE HOSTING OUR SLEEPOVER AT THEN

**lanceylance:** COME!!! OVER!! TO MINE!!!!! SO MY MOM CAN SHOWER YOU ALL WITH AFFECTION!!!!!

**kogayne:** BET

**hunkerdunker:** BET

**shayfromstatefarm:** BET

**takashmeoutside:** I CAN SWAP GOSSIP WITH MRS. MCCLAIN BET

**kogayne:** WAIT NO

**takashmeoutside:** TOO LATE

**lanceylance:** FRFGNEGWRGTBERGW SORRY KEITH TOO LATE MAMA DEAREST GREENLIT THE SLEEPOVER

**kogayne:** FUCK!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** LMAO

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE U KNOW THEY’RE GONNA GOSSIP ABOUT U TOO RIGHT

**lanceylance:** LET THEM DO THEIR WORST I LOVE WATCHING KEITH GET FLUSTERED IT’LL BE WORTH IT

**kogayne:** help police i’d like to report my boyfriend being the worst—

**hunkerdunker:** fsdgrgwerdbrgeberbr

**hunkerdunker:** someone slide me the gossip after

**kogayne:** HUNK YOU TRAITOR

 

**_memers_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** yo just a head’s up

**mattata:** where even are u, u never came home

**takashmeoutside:** school got out for her three hours ago and this is the first you’re checking

**mattata:** ...yes

**mattata:** pidge where u at

**carrierpidgeon:** hanging with em and sherrie and a couple other girls

**kogayne:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**carrierpidgeon:** stfu lance 2.0

**lanceylance:** i thought that was matt’s title

**mattata:** bitch pls i’m the og, ur just matt 2.0

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway back to my original statement

**carrierpidgeon:** people are already camped out at the turf waiting for seats

**carrierpidgeon:** em and i can go reserve some now or u can get ur asses down here soon

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** head’s up from pidgeotto!

**mamamcclain:** why does she have to swear like that

**mamamcclain:** and why did matt call you a bitch

**lanceylance:** he left out the boss-butt part

**mamamcclain:** what?

**lanceylance:** never mind

**lanceylance:** anyway just so u know

**lanceylance:** considering we’re a massive family

**lanceylance:** u might wanna send like,, i dunno, send alejandro or someone down there

**mamamcclain:** alright then

**mamamcclain:** are you getting ready?

**lanceylance:** maaaaaaaa i’ve got tiiiiiiiiiiime

**mamamcclain:** it’s already 2:30 and you have to be there for 5, and we need to go earlier for good seats, go get ready

**lanceylance:** but mAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mamamcclain:** LANCE CHARLES

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT I’M GOING

 

**_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ **

**hunkerdunker:** yo i’m already here, when y’all get here meet up under the big tree so we can get some squad photos

**lanceylance:** yeah speaking of squad we gotta rename this group chat

**lanceylance:** we’re not gonna be the physics squad anymore

**kogayne:** omfg no this was such a good group chat name

**kogayne:** I WAS PROUD OF THIS ONE

**lanceylance:** well then come up with a good one for arus

**lanceylance:** bc we’re gonna be the arus squad

**kogayne:** ...wait i got it

**_kogayne_ ** _ renamed  _ **_calculate my final velocity if i jump off of the school roof from rest_ ** _ to  _ **_why the fuck you lions_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...is that a fucking vine reference

**lanceylance:** A BOY AFTER MY OWN HEART

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANE

**kogayne:** i will never get sick of reading those words

**hunkerdunker:** [keith and lance get married] [lance still refers to him as his boyfriend]

**kogayne:** ...nOW WAIT A SEC— 

 

**_memers_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** THIS IS WHERE WE’RE SITTING

**allurable:** OH MY GOD U GUYS IN UR CAPS AND GOWNS

**allurable:** i’m gonna take so many photos and spam this chat just u wait

**lanceylance:** listen it’s a struggle to text when i’m sitting front row like this i gotta pretend to be taking pics of my friends and stuff

**lanceylance:** i’ll respond later

**lanceylance:** keith hunk and shay would also like me to pass this message along to the rest of you on their behalves, they say “same”

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**dinezor:** lmao @ everyone who can’t get tea bc they’re sitting in the front rows

**dinezor:** yes even u acxa

**dinezor:** love u tho

**dinezor:** even tho u can’t read this

**floronawiththecorona:** mood

**floronawiththecorona:** also rip to everyone who put their phones in a pocket under their gown and now can’t get it bc it looks awkward

**dinezor:** coughcough@lotorcoughcough

**carrierpidgeon:** ewrerwrgwfdv all of these texts are gold

**madplax:** I MEAN I COULD JUST UNZIP MY GOWN LIKE I JUST DID BC I’M SITTING SEVERAL ROWS BACK—

**floronawiththecorona:** oKAY LISTEN—

**emandem:** hey psst sarah

**emandem:** SARAH

**emandem:** SAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR

**sarahahaha:** /why did i join this group chat/

**emandem:** ANYWAY

**emandem:** smile for the fuckin camera when u get ur diploma would u

**sarahahaha:** fine

**lotoreal:** how many new shows or seasons drop on netflix tonight

**zethridofmyproblems:** well that definitely wasn’t out of left field

**lotoreal:** two girls behind me are talking about pulling an all-nighter, and if i’m not mistaken, so are keith, lance, hunk, shay, and pidge?

**emandem:** pidge why destroy ur health like that

**carrierpidgeon:** online fandoms man

**carrierpidgeon:** gotta beat em to the punch

**madplax:** anyway lotor in response to your question: a bunch, probably

**sippinganartini:** 7, according to this article i found on google

**lotoreal:** oh dear

 

**_memers_ **

_ (27) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** CONGRATULATIONS U GUYS OH MY GOD

**takashmeoutside:** keith, hunk

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**kogayne:** what do u want asshole

**mattata:** someone’s still a little bitter about having emotions i see

**kogayne:** I SAID I WOULDN’T CRY

**takashmeoutside:** mhm

**takashmeoutside:** so how did u get those speeches approved

**takashmeoutside:** you’d think roasting the cafeteria food and the school’s spending habits would get u in trouble

**hunkerdunker:** oh what are they gonna do

**hunkerdunker:** expel us

**hunkerdunker:** WE’RE FREE

**kogayne:** u kno what i’m irritated about though

**kogayne:** we never got the chance to do our annual summer chant

**takashmeoutside:** ...summer chant

**mattata:** DO YOU FUCKERS QUOTE HSM2 EVERY YEAR

**lanceylance:** IT’S ICONIC AND WE’RE MUSICAL THEATRE KIDS OF COURSE WE DO

**hunkerdunker:** i mean, i’d say we could go to school tomorrow,,, but fuck that

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah no fuck that

**carrierpidgeon:** no one goes in on the last day catch me falling asleep face-first in my plate of diner pancakes

**kogayne:** speaking of diner can we all meet up so we can grab pics and then gOOOOOO

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**acxalutelynot:** ez u trashbag

**dinezor:** ;D  <3

**dinezor:** also nO ONE GO ANYWHERE WE’RE GETTING A GIANT GROUP PHOTO

**kogayne:** dammit i was finally free—

**madplax:** ur not going anywhere till we get this photo kogane

**lanceylance:** okay but then afterward i need photos w my mains

**lanceylance:** can someone volunteer to be the photog

**lanceylance:** someone who isn’t keith, as much as i love his skills, bc he needs to be in the photos with me

**acxalutelynot:** hmm,, i’ll do it i suppose

**lanceylance:** if i end up just seeing 20 selfies and no actual photos i stg

**acxalutelynot:** reLAX

**lanceylance:** hunk ur in charge of the photos of me and keith

**hunkerdunker:** of course buddy

**hunkerdunker:** and i love u but keith pls get the ones of me and shay

**kogayne:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** wow just gonna snatch my finger guns like that

**kogayne:** obviously

 

**_memers_ **

**lanceylance:** IT IS MIDNIGHT

**lanceylance:** AND THUS I PROCLAIM THE START

**lanceylance:** OF SUMMER VACATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

**mattata:** “vacation” don’t u people have jobs like the rest of us

**takashmeoutside:** [headdesk] i work opening to close tomorrow someone end me

**mattata:** no end me

**takashmeoutside:** we go down together

**mattata:** bet

**allurable:** no, no dying, tis summer

**allurable:** let’s do something fun this weekend

**allurable:** kick summer off right

**mattata:** i mean i’m already kicking off summer by going to work on zero sleep,

**allurable:** /MATT/

**shayfromstatefarm:** listen we can break into bb it’s fine

**takashmeoutside:** well then before you all go get yourselves arrest for breaking into shay’s family’s café and ruining your mental stabilities i just want to say again how proud i am of all of you

**takashmeoutside:** you’ve come so far, and i know all of you are going to go places

**kogayne:** nope not crying not doing it muting the chat now

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** CELEBRATE UR SUCCESSES DAMMIT

**kogayne:** DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO DAMMIT

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH AKIRA KOGANE

**kogayne:** TAKASHI RYOU SHIROGANE

**takashmeoutside:** I’M PROUD OF YOU AND HOW FAR YOU’VE COME

**kogayne:** THANKS I WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN HERE WITHOUT YOU NOW STOP MAKING ME CRY

**takashmeoutside:** NEVER

**kogayne:** DICK

**takashmeoutside:** I LOVE YOU

**kogayne:** I LOVE YOU TOO I GUESS

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GUESS

**kogayne:** FINE I LOVE YOU TOO

**kogayne:** and...thanks

**kogayne:** seriosuly

**takashmeoutside:** seriosuly

**kogayne:** /shiro i’m trying to be nice/

**kogayne:** i wouldn’t be where i am without you

**kogayne:** and everything you did, especially after mom left and dad died

**kogayne:** and after ur parents died

**kogayne:** thank you, so much

**takashmeoutside:** told you i wasn’t giving up on you

**takashmeoutside:** i meant it

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** thanks bro

**takashmeoutside:** any time bro

**kogayne:** don’t tell hunk and lance we’re taking their brolture

**takashmeoutside:** BROLTURE

 

**_memers_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** BROLTURE

**kogayne:** TRAITOR

**lanceylance:** u,,, u stole our Thing

**hunkerdunker:** i am

**hunkerdunker:** Hurt

**hunkerdunker:** at this theft

**kogayne:** shiro why did u tELL THEM

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** MMMMM

**lanceylance:** U KNOW WHAT DOESN’T MATTER

**lanceylance:** keith get in my car we gotta go to bb

**takashmeoutside:** u guys were sERIOUS

**shayfromstatefarm:** duh?

**shayfromstatefarm:** GET IN LOSER WE’RE GOING CAFFEINE-SWIPING

**hunkerdunker:** gonna need caffeine if we’re gonna survive our show

**hunkerdunker:** and honestly the rest of the summer probably

**kogayne:** ,,, big mood

**kogayne:** lance i’m comin don’T LEAVE WITHOUT ME

**lanceylance:** wouldn’t dream of it  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it.
> 
> "but EILEEN--" end. "BUT YOU JUST INTRODUCED LIKE 3 NEW CHARACTERS AND NEW CHARACTER INTERACTIONS--" i know. "THE KROLIA PLOT? LANCE GOING TO CUBA? LOTOR AND ZARKON? MORE FALLOUT FROM THE WOODS? THERE ARE LIKE 20 LOOSE ENDS DANGLING" yes and?
> 
> it's the end.
> 
> of squad up.
> 
> nOT OF THE FUCKIN SERIES _SIIIIIIIIIIIKE_
> 
> catch the sequel starting sometime this week following the crew's summer shenanigans in their final months of freedom before college: **a midsummer night's meme** , coming soon to an archive near you ;)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Group Chats and Gay crushes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153239) by [Miaow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miaow/pseuds/Miaow)
  * [Oh My God They Were Roommates](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15647340) by [HartleyRathabae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HartleyRathabae/pseuds/HartleyRathabae)




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